4
1
This review may contain spoilers
INCIDENT REPORT - Hostage Situation
SUMMONS & CITATION:
Multiple Violations of the Public Order Act 🧚♀️
DEFENDANT: The Whole Team of Knot
CHARGES FILED:
☆ Multiple Violations under Negligence in Scriptomancy
☆ Multiple Offenses of Foulcraft
☆ Several attempts at Illicit Blight Running and One escaped Bog Hound
☆ Grievous Aesthetic Assault including a Reckless deployment of a Lord Farquaad wig
Disclaimer: If you are easily offended or struggle to laugh at life’s absurdities, please turn back now. You will not survive this document.✨
☆☆☆
I had fully intended to let this show go down in my watch history as my first completed 1 ☆ star rating. My very first voluntary, manic dive into the Stygian Pits. I was prepared to waltz right over the safety barriers, perform a solitary dance naked under the moonlight with deranged eyes, and shout “Wheeeee!” as I tunnel bombed my way straight into the earth's mantle.
However, my Faery brain demands rigorous categorization, so before I lock in a score I might regret four months from now, I am pulling out my Unnecessarily Extra-AF-ometer to calculate the exact structural density of this burning trash can.
Let me use my own brain against myself.
Get your funky, fluffy pens and calculators, and some tea. Here we go ☕️
🤓 SECTION 1: STORY (50% Weight)
☆ Concept: Rating: 7/10 -
The foundational premise was fine, believe it or not. A fun, simple fantasy ride through Omegaverse dynamics where the laws of human imagination are at their most flexible, and logic goes to die because why bother with fantasy otherwise.
A feisty, super powered Super Omega accidentally gets bitten by a mafia heir Super Alpha under immense pressure to prove his Alpha-ness to his Daddy. The cosmic law? When a Super Alpha and Super Omega knot in the truest expression of love, a mythical Enigma can be conceived. Simple, high stakes, and inherently entertaining.
☆ Execution: Rating: 1/10
How on earth, they cocked this up so magnificently, is a mystery for forensic science.
It’s as if the production team scribbled the script on a grease stained McDonald's napkin at 3:00 AM on a drunken Saturday morning, declared it pure genius, and green lit it with a shrug.
- "It's Thailand's first Omegaverse! We just need two good looking men to stay on screen and stand around an expensive mansion waiting for their cues."
- Zero cognitive thought went into portraying the lore. It was purely a vehicle or a contractual hostage situation to keep BoatOat on camera, which is insulting to both the cast and the audience.
☆ Characters & Supporting Caricatures: Rating: 2/10
Our Indominus Rex, I mean Super Alpha, is permanently squeezed into suits two sizes too small to distract us from how criminally spineless and bland he is written. Boat has fabulous peaches though so, who cares? Meanwhile, our 'feisty Super Omega' is presented as a boy with zero emotional intelligence around the world he lives in and where he is placed in it, due to fatherly abandonment. Something I thought would be a given in Omegaverse but 😂 No. Not even a fake belief that he is a standard omega and can max out later on 'Worship Me Hormones'. No. The crows had a feast in that field of thought.
Yet somehow, despite not knowing basic Omegaverse mechanics and acting coy around his own dad, he randomly launches into moral tirades against his in-laws. Stunning character development. 🤦♂️
• The 2nd Couple: Love who you want, I suppose. Very much a side note and a sex scene.
• The 3rd Couple: A complete after thought used to hand wave a villain, setting up the company’s next project without explaining a single plot point.
• Alpha’s Parents: Mum is a classic Disney mother (I wished her a Happy Divorce Day because someone in that house needed functioning cognitive abilities and she was the lucky chosen one. Good for her 👏). While Dad sits in his, I couldn't help but imagine, a fart smelling office, repeating a single line like a malfunctioning Kirby doll - "Where is that Omega child?!" 😫 doohh!!
• Omega’s Dad: Exists solely to provide a sad backstory that wasn't half as sweet as the writers thought, before abruptly switching to an overprotective, comedic anime dad despite having abandoned his son for most of his natural life.
I see Super Omega got his father's single brain cell because what do you mean by separating bonded mates? Won't that, you know, result in a little death, like your wife? *scratches head* 🪦
☆ Lore: Rating: 1/10
Quite possibly the funniest disaster of the show. They gave us a gorgeous 2D ink wash animation sequence explaining the ancient origins of the world... only to repeat those exact same rules over and over, and over again, as if the audience shares the Super Omega's brain capacity. Yet when the characters face actual, physical danger, do they use their supreme pheromone powers? No ... Absolutely not. That would require thinking 💀
Special mention for Super Alpha telling his father in law that he raw dogged his son unconcious and there's nothing he can do about it, with a straight, deadpan diplomatic face. He has money, so there ... 🥲 Congratulations PawPaw 🥳
》 Story Average: (7 + 1 + 2 + 1) / 4 = 2.8
3 x 0.5 =
》 Weighted Story Score: 1.5 / 5.0
Holy Oak Tree, That was only part one ....
🫠 SECTION 2: PRESENTATION (30% Weight)
☆ Actors: Rating: 1/10
As an Arts, Literature, and Theatre kid and now an 'unapologetic about it' adult, it physically pains me to say this: the performances were abysmal. The only visible acting effort was poured into the sex scenes, which is just depressing if that’s how they were directed, or felt what was expected of them in the absence of a director because I wouldn't be surprised if that was the reality.
Oat, who can act, looked stiff, exhausted and bored most of the time, and during emotional scenes, we were treated to the strangest attempts at 'psychological distress' I’ve ever witnessed, complete with drugged out eyes and shoulders moving so erratically they looked like they were trying to dislocate and detach off the actor's torso out of pure embarrassment. His own bones were trying to escape this project.
☆ Aesthetic: Rating: 2/10
The only thing that earned points here was Boat’s hair. Everything else looked like a biohazard. They spent their entire budget renting a single mansion (in which they filmed in every available square inch. Go on, get every cent spent guys ) and dumped the rest into a real world perfume campaign, that no one needed, surely? The wardrobe didn't fit, the styling was greasy, and who decided on the Lord Farquaad wig? Come here 🫡
Everyone looked like they desperately needed a hot shower and some loose cotton clothes ..... and a warm meal and a hug honestly.
☆ Production & Editing: Rating: 1/10
I was convinced the cinematographer was velcroed to the ceiling. One minute we were looking straight down from the rafters like a cute little spider, the next we were looking up an actor's left nostril like a shoelace, followed by an aggressive overuse of a fisheye lens that made me feel just as high as the crew clearly was. The editing had literal mid-scene jump cuts. A film student would be chewed tf out by their professor for handing this in.
☆ Audio: Rating: 2/10
The audio mixing was slightly more stable than the camera work, but a pity point is all I can spare. The opening theme song singer desperately needs vocal lessons. She sounds like she is in pain.
》 Presentation Average: (1 + 2 + 1 + 2) / 4 = 1.5
1.5 x 0.3 =
》 Weighted Presentation Score: 0.5 / 3.0
Still going, but last part ....
🤡 SECTION 3: IMPACT (20% Weight)
☆ Enjoyment: Rating: 4/10
I enjoyed this show the exact same way one enjoys a poorly performed circus or a carnival trainwreck. It was awful, cheesy, and provided unmatched rage bait fodder for the weekly MDL comment section. It was the ultimate Tuesday night sanity breaker and I clapped like a seal, choking, every week without fail.
☆ Satisfaction: Rating: 1/10
Refer back to Concept. We received none of what was promised.
☆ Rewatch Value: Rating: 0/10
😂 No.
☆ Overall Experience: Rating: 3/10
The experience was saved by being awake, alive, and surrounded by fellow viewers who were just as morbidly amused by this disaster as I was.
》 Impact Average: (4 + 1 + 0 + 3) / 4 = 2.0
2.0 x 0.2 =
》 Weighted Impact Score: 0.5 / 2.0
THE FINAL VERDICT: (1.5 + 0.5 + 0.5)
2.5 / 10 (2.5 ☆ ) 🥀🕯️
By the cold power of my own mathematical system, I have discovered that I did not, in fact, freefall through the earth's core into the Stygian Pits. Instead, I landed square in the Catacombs where I was slowly eaten alive by rabid vampires, cackling wildly, as they consumed my brain with a spoon 🧛♀️🥄
In summary: 10/10 for community morale and 0/10 for basic storytelling etiquette. I regret as much as I learned. Nothing.
If anyone needs me, I will be having tea with the Chaos Gremlin who wrote and created this whole thing all on their lonesome, because everyone else wandered off and is now lost somewhere, but no one cares, before escorting it back to the Realms of Madness from which it escaped.
You fought for your dreams bravely, little guy. 🫖🧁 Proud of you. 🌟
*The finale, in any other circumstances, would have taken a 0.5 pt penalty for the sheer laziness that personified this show but, I laughed so hard watching it, I feel they cancel each other out so ... yeah ... 😂
2.5 ☆
Multiple Violations of the Public Order Act 🧚♀️
DEFENDANT: The Whole Team of Knot
CHARGES FILED:
☆ Multiple Violations under Negligence in Scriptomancy
☆ Multiple Offenses of Foulcraft
☆ Several attempts at Illicit Blight Running and One escaped Bog Hound
☆ Grievous Aesthetic Assault including a Reckless deployment of a Lord Farquaad wig
Disclaimer: If you are easily offended or struggle to laugh at life’s absurdities, please turn back now. You will not survive this document.✨
☆☆☆
I had fully intended to let this show go down in my watch history as my first completed 1 ☆ star rating. My very first voluntary, manic dive into the Stygian Pits. I was prepared to waltz right over the safety barriers, perform a solitary dance naked under the moonlight with deranged eyes, and shout “Wheeeee!” as I tunnel bombed my way straight into the earth's mantle.
However, my Faery brain demands rigorous categorization, so before I lock in a score I might regret four months from now, I am pulling out my Unnecessarily Extra-AF-ometer to calculate the exact structural density of this burning trash can.
Let me use my own brain against myself.
Get your funky, fluffy pens and calculators, and some tea. Here we go ☕️
🤓 SECTION 1: STORY (50% Weight)
☆ Concept: Rating: 7/10 -
The foundational premise was fine, believe it or not. A fun, simple fantasy ride through Omegaverse dynamics where the laws of human imagination are at their most flexible, and logic goes to die because why bother with fantasy otherwise.
A feisty, super powered Super Omega accidentally gets bitten by a mafia heir Super Alpha under immense pressure to prove his Alpha-ness to his Daddy. The cosmic law? When a Super Alpha and Super Omega knot in the truest expression of love, a mythical Enigma can be conceived. Simple, high stakes, and inherently entertaining.
☆ Execution: Rating: 1/10
How on earth, they cocked this up so magnificently, is a mystery for forensic science.
It’s as if the production team scribbled the script on a grease stained McDonald's napkin at 3:00 AM on a drunken Saturday morning, declared it pure genius, and green lit it with a shrug.
- "It's Thailand's first Omegaverse! We just need two good looking men to stay on screen and stand around an expensive mansion waiting for their cues."
- Zero cognitive thought went into portraying the lore. It was purely a vehicle or a contractual hostage situation to keep BoatOat on camera, which is insulting to both the cast and the audience.
☆ Characters & Supporting Caricatures: Rating: 2/10
Our Indominus Rex, I mean Super Alpha, is permanently squeezed into suits two sizes too small to distract us from how criminally spineless and bland he is written. Boat has fabulous peaches though so, who cares? Meanwhile, our 'feisty Super Omega' is presented as a boy with zero emotional intelligence around the world he lives in and where he is placed in it, due to fatherly abandonment. Something I thought would be a given in Omegaverse but 😂 No. Not even a fake belief that he is a standard omega and can max out later on 'Worship Me Hormones'. No. The crows had a feast in that field of thought.
Yet somehow, despite not knowing basic Omegaverse mechanics and acting coy around his own dad, he randomly launches into moral tirades against his in-laws. Stunning character development. 🤦♂️
• The 2nd Couple: Love who you want, I suppose. Very much a side note and a sex scene.
• The 3rd Couple: A complete after thought used to hand wave a villain, setting up the company’s next project without explaining a single plot point.
• Alpha’s Parents: Mum is a classic Disney mother (I wished her a Happy Divorce Day because someone in that house needed functioning cognitive abilities and she was the lucky chosen one. Good for her 👏). While Dad sits in his, I couldn't help but imagine, a fart smelling office, repeating a single line like a malfunctioning Kirby doll - "Where is that Omega child?!" 😫 doohh!!
• Omega’s Dad: Exists solely to provide a sad backstory that wasn't half as sweet as the writers thought, before abruptly switching to an overprotective, comedic anime dad despite having abandoned his son for most of his natural life.
I see Super Omega got his father's single brain cell because what do you mean by separating bonded mates? Won't that, you know, result in a little death, like your wife? *scratches head* 🪦
☆ Lore: Rating: 1/10
Quite possibly the funniest disaster of the show. They gave us a gorgeous 2D ink wash animation sequence explaining the ancient origins of the world... only to repeat those exact same rules over and over, and over again, as if the audience shares the Super Omega's brain capacity. Yet when the characters face actual, physical danger, do they use their supreme pheromone powers? No ... Absolutely not. That would require thinking 💀
Special mention for Super Alpha telling his father in law that he raw dogged his son unconcious and there's nothing he can do about it, with a straight, deadpan diplomatic face. He has money, so there ... 🥲 Congratulations PawPaw 🥳
》 Story Average: (7 + 1 + 2 + 1) / 4 = 2.8
3 x 0.5 =
》 Weighted Story Score: 1.5 / 5.0
Holy Oak Tree, That was only part one ....
🫠 SECTION 2: PRESENTATION (30% Weight)
☆ Actors: Rating: 1/10
As an Arts, Literature, and Theatre kid and now an 'unapologetic about it' adult, it physically pains me to say this: the performances were abysmal. The only visible acting effort was poured into the sex scenes, which is just depressing if that’s how they were directed, or felt what was expected of them in the absence of a director because I wouldn't be surprised if that was the reality.
Oat, who can act, looked stiff, exhausted and bored most of the time, and during emotional scenes, we were treated to the strangest attempts at 'psychological distress' I’ve ever witnessed, complete with drugged out eyes and shoulders moving so erratically they looked like they were trying to dislocate and detach off the actor's torso out of pure embarrassment. His own bones were trying to escape this project.
☆ Aesthetic: Rating: 2/10
The only thing that earned points here was Boat’s hair. Everything else looked like a biohazard. They spent their entire budget renting a single mansion (in which they filmed in every available square inch. Go on, get every cent spent guys ) and dumped the rest into a real world perfume campaign, that no one needed, surely? The wardrobe didn't fit, the styling was greasy, and who decided on the Lord Farquaad wig? Come here 🫡
Everyone looked like they desperately needed a hot shower and some loose cotton clothes ..... and a warm meal and a hug honestly.
☆ Production & Editing: Rating: 1/10
I was convinced the cinematographer was velcroed to the ceiling. One minute we were looking straight down from the rafters like a cute little spider, the next we were looking up an actor's left nostril like a shoelace, followed by an aggressive overuse of a fisheye lens that made me feel just as high as the crew clearly was. The editing had literal mid-scene jump cuts. A film student would be chewed tf out by their professor for handing this in.
☆ Audio: Rating: 2/10
The audio mixing was slightly more stable than the camera work, but a pity point is all I can spare. The opening theme song singer desperately needs vocal lessons. She sounds like she is in pain.
》 Presentation Average: (1 + 2 + 1 + 2) / 4 = 1.5
1.5 x 0.3 =
》 Weighted Presentation Score: 0.5 / 3.0
Still going, but last part ....
🤡 SECTION 3: IMPACT (20% Weight)
☆ Enjoyment: Rating: 4/10
I enjoyed this show the exact same way one enjoys a poorly performed circus or a carnival trainwreck. It was awful, cheesy, and provided unmatched rage bait fodder for the weekly MDL comment section. It was the ultimate Tuesday night sanity breaker and I clapped like a seal, choking, every week without fail.
☆ Satisfaction: Rating: 1/10
Refer back to Concept. We received none of what was promised.
☆ Rewatch Value: Rating: 0/10
😂 No.
☆ Overall Experience: Rating: 3/10
The experience was saved by being awake, alive, and surrounded by fellow viewers who were just as morbidly amused by this disaster as I was.
》 Impact Average: (4 + 1 + 0 + 3) / 4 = 2.0
2.0 x 0.2 =
》 Weighted Impact Score: 0.5 / 2.0
THE FINAL VERDICT: (1.5 + 0.5 + 0.5)
2.5 / 10 (2.5 ☆ ) 🥀🕯️
By the cold power of my own mathematical system, I have discovered that I did not, in fact, freefall through the earth's core into the Stygian Pits. Instead, I landed square in the Catacombs where I was slowly eaten alive by rabid vampires, cackling wildly, as they consumed my brain with a spoon 🧛♀️🥄
In summary: 10/10 for community morale and 0/10 for basic storytelling etiquette. I regret as much as I learned. Nothing.
If anyone needs me, I will be having tea with the Chaos Gremlin who wrote and created this whole thing all on their lonesome, because everyone else wandered off and is now lost somewhere, but no one cares, before escorting it back to the Realms of Madness from which it escaped.
You fought for your dreams bravely, little guy. 🫖🧁 Proud of you. 🌟
*The finale, in any other circumstances, would have taken a 0.5 pt penalty for the sheer laziness that personified this show but, I laughed so hard watching it, I feel they cancel each other out so ... yeah ... 😂
2.5 ☆
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