UnaSpenser

Yay!

also, its simply boring to watch a character sit silently, looking lost, staring at a screen, for 7 episodes.

this is the part that bothers me. If he was traumatized, why hasn't the mother proactively gotten her child some help, rather than let him fester? Being a parent of a child who was traumatized and knowing all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways I worked to help her recover, its incredibly infuriating to see this mother who does nothing and then shames him. (and now seem to be colluding with Name to drive him into crisis for the sake of change.)

Name may be an adult, technically, but if he's spent an entire childhood in a state of untended trauma, he's not really an adult. He hasn't had the ability to develop and mature. He was basically emotionally abandoned and left to become wholly defined by his PTSD. This whole story line pisses me off.

having a similar experience. They need to interweave the stories more, if they want it be interesting. As it is, I never feel like I've enough of any given story to feel entertained.

I'm wondering this too. I homeschooled a traumatized child and had to balance the needs for absolute down time, while nudging them into activities and finding interests. My child is very much an introvert, but that doesn't mean zero interests in life. Even if its just reading books. Name should be doing something. If he's so traumatized that he has zero interest in anything, he needs serious professional help. Why has he been left to languish?

What's disturbing me now is that neither the mom or Em is directly talking to him about helping him - the mom could be doing things such as asking him why he chose not to talk; what that means to him; was there something about talking that was particularly painful? Inquiry, inquiry, inquiry. Sometimes seemingly little answers open the way to big understandings. They could be constantly thinking of creative ways for him to respond. Get him draw; take photos; search for books where a character feels like himself; have him work with animals; dance.... anything. Try anything. They don't seem to do that. They instead seem to be colluding to drive him into crisis, in the hopes that this pushes him out of his shell. Its a very cruel thing to do. And I'm not going to be supporting the idea of a romantic relationship with Em, if this is what is happening. In fact, I already think Em is jerk. He comes off as having zero care for how his behaviors are impacting Name. He could have gradually tapered off and been honest about not feeling up to the burden of being Name's only connection in life. Instead, he made commitments, then didn't keep them and then pretty much ghosted him. Which may be part of the plan with Name's mom, but its a nasty plan. So, I just don't like him. I hope Name finds his way and leaves Em behind.

In the beginning we learn of reports of rapes happening where the rapists use the app to lure in their victims. Its not that any of those cases are him. But, the app company has a strictly held policy on not releasing info. The ML is a murderer and does use the app to make connections. Oddly, we've only seen consensual sex. He's all about consent, I guess, right up until he decides to kill you. There is what seems to be an attempted rape - the men thought that they were invited to role play, not actually commit rape. That was not something he did, but something he set up. So, he's not a rapist, he's a murderer.

Its a pretty twisted and explicit story so, up to you to determine if that's something you want to watch.

hahaha! True. Logic does not seem to be a factor in so many of these stories.

I was more musing than expecting the show to provide any answers. I gathered that its a plot device. And, sometimes, when things don't have strong logic, its best just to leave it unexplained.

same.

Its not clear to me why to be bothered crowding into bunkers. If the planet is going to get destroyed, bunkers don't make you safe. So, why not enjoy a few final days of life?

I totally get that her current situation has rendered her traumatized and single-focused. Still, usually, there are telltale signs of a person's interests in their house. Does she read books? Does she love plants? Does she knit?

What has she been doing with herself all these years? Even housewives have quirky interests or passions.

Her friend works at a very demanding job. So, at least she does that. Though, you're right that we're not really learning about anyone else's personal side. Given that she's the lead character I'd kinda appreciate if she had some, well, character - not just personality traits.

That said, I'm definitely enjoying the story and found myself watching 7 episodes straight through. So, I'm all in. This is a complaint I have about a lot of characters - particularly women. Women are so often written as though they only exist in relation to men and have no lives of their own. So, when a story and the acting are really good, I'm all the more disappointed that they couldn't manage to also write a more fleshed out female lead.

At least we know that part of what's going on is likely a bit of PTSD/depression from the sexual harassment she was subjected to. That could explain her being an otherwise empty slate. Maybe she's been mired in depression and hasn't had any interest in life.

I appreciate all those things about her. But, what would one find interesting about her, if one had to spend time with her? She seems to have absolutely nothing that she actually does. No hobbies. No pursuits. Nothing.

I'm already all in. I just wish her character had some things in life that she was interested in. Like, what would make her interesting to talk to, if you met her at a dinner party? Or got stuck on an island for a few days, due to a storm?

She has some strong personality traits, but she's boring as hell. I wish writers would take more care with female characters than this.

Agreed. Its not actually that much effort to take a 15-20 minute break and chat with a friend. Lots of people do it. So, it isn't the time that's the issue. Em has either moved on because university life had grabbed his interest and he's no longer interested in Name; or he's had a reaction to realizing, as he was leaving, that Name can actually speak. This may have left him feeling "unnecessarily" burdened and in a caretaker role, rather than a peer role. Maybe he's trying to push Name to make progress. If so, its a rather cruel way to do it. It would even be better just to straight up say that you're bothered and need the dynamic/balance of the relationship to change and won't move forward if it isn't going to happen. But, forcing someone to face a psychological trauma is not really a good way to go. In real life, that wouldn't work. The person would be further traumatized by the abandonment. After all those years of accepting him for who he is, his best friend has decided he can't be bothered with him. Its very painful to watch.

And, yes, why doesn't Em seem to have any emotions, at all?

That last scene, where he says, "I'll take care of myself," made it seem like he is ready to leave Name behind. That he just doesn't care, any more. Which is pretty much what his actions are signalling. I think Name got the message and called him on it. When Name starts building a social life and leaves Em behind, we'll see if Em has any feelings, I guess. (but, if I were Name, I wouldn't take Em back, at that point. What Em is doing is incredibly hurtful.)

I'm on episode 6 and I find myself wondering if there is ever going to be anything at all interesting about the FL character. So far, she's pretty much an empty shell who seems to have no interests in life other than having been someone's wife. How could anyone fall in love with someone so vapid?

Also, I'm guessing that the lawyer is not really the Gao Jun they knew in HS, since his face is unrecognizable. I mean, I've known many people who've put on or lost substantial amounts of weight and it doesn't make their face change so much that you can't tell who it is. So, what is he after? I don't think he's out to hurt her, as he could just let her become prey to the moneylenders and she'd have a very miserable life. But, I'm not sure he cares about her, either. Its more like she's the route to something else he's interested in.

Anyway, really would like to see the FL become a more whole person and not a cardboard cutout.

Oh, I don't think it should matter, in terms of people taking people seriously. Take everyone seriously. Please. The world would be a better place.

High pitched voices grate on my ears and it makes it challenging for me to watch dramas with characters who have that. Because I know that about 99% of people have to actually work to keep their juvenile voice, it just bugs me that my ears have to sort through that, when its not necessary. (I have a neuropathic condition and my hearing is very sensitive. Because of it, I have trouble being around children, which is sad, because I adore children!) So, for me, its personal taste, but also a recognition that women have been acculturated to hold on to a juvenile voice. Absolutely we all should respect each other. At the same time, we should also recognize when we are collaborating with misogyny and serving our own oppressors.

The very fact that the character here knows to use a girlish voice in order to attract a larger audience to her vlog is telling. I'm going to turn the question around: why should she have to have a high-pitched voice to be successful?

My take was that she was trying to prove that he was shallow and had judged a book by its cover, as it were. As in, she was pissed that he just saw a pretty woman and assumed that she was not worthy of the respect of showing up. She was trying to make a point. Though, that got lost pretty early on, when, a) she realizes that she actually likes him and b) she learns that she totally misunderstood what she had overheard. Her presenting a false self when she actually likes him is not a foundation for a mutually respectful relationship. Once she knew that she had completely misunderstood what he was saying back in the beginning, the writers should have had her stop chasing him and stop maintaining her false identity. It would have been a sweeter romance if she had just come forth and told him all about herself and how she misunderstood him. They would have had enough interaction at the point to decide to get to know one another, with mutual respect.

The writers of this drama seem to think it is romantic for people to deceive one another; pretend to be disabled; pretend to have a disability and get special assistance from someone who is actually disabled, etc. There was some potential for this to be interesting - they could have done a very feminist take on her being angry that he wouldn't give the time of day to someone he deemed not intellectual enough and then, having to give up that agenda because, well, she was actually intellectual enough and he didn't hold that view. Instead they pushed a bunch of bs romance tropes which undermined the best potential and gave us pablum.

to have a voice like that, one has to want it. women's voices aren't just naturally that high. Like men, our voices mature. We can choose to adopt the lower natural voice. (and I don't mean via vocal fry. we all have a low and a high register for our voice. I'm a vocalist. Every vocal coach knows this. So, they are actively trying to maintain a more immature voice and/or coaches are not telling them to let their voice drop. Also, its not just pitch. It's the poutiness and other affectation, which makes it sound child-like rather than mature.

Yes, there were some bits of LBFAD where she used her lower voice. She did it to distinguish between the naive fairy girl and the more powerful goddess. (I wish she was doing that in this drama.) Her lower voice is lovely. In fact, she's be quite alluring, if she used it. Using it in LBFAD just shows that Esther knows she has a lower range with which she can speak. She's opting for the high pitch. I'm going to guess that she's been told that this makes for a more successful career, as its so prevalent in Cdrama-land. Its a gimmick that the industry uses to push the notion of the "innocent, bubbly girl" as the romantic attraction. Its a little bit creepy that they want us to think that women are a romantic interest, if they come off as childish. (This is not, obviously, limited to China or Asia. The whole women needing to shave their legs and armpits is an example. Adult women have body hair. Why is it consider unattractive to look adult? Anyway.... I digress. lol )

How much do you want to bet that when she ages out of the "young woman romance" genre, she adopts a more mature voice? She won't sound plausible like this, as she ages.

Anyway, its disingenuous for anyone to claim - with the very rare exception - that as an adult, a childlike voice is their "natural" voice. Its an affect.

It’s a pretty straightforward propaganda story, similar to You Are MY Glory, (are Chinese actors being required to do these nationalist dramas?), but at least the main characters are smart and capable, if a bit unlikable, at first. (I don’t know if they get better. Probably won’t continue, myself.)

I’m skipping every moment of the 2nd couple. The story arc is offensive and they are each intolerable..

The main leads holly off each other well and their story line wasn’t too bad until the stupid separation set up (it would have been so easy to communicate.) It does drag, though and grow increasingly implausible.

Also, her having a baby voice when she was trying to feign being a ditsy woman was one thing. It needs to go away when she’s around people who know and and as her true nature is revealed. I wish CDramas would give up this misogynist presentation of women. It’s grating.

The 2nd couple is intolerable in so many ways. I skip every second of them..