Have ya seen this beautiful fan edit that pieces together XL outlook on life.
I recommend ya'll watch it cause this is one of the reasons why Xiang Liu can exist without his loveline. He is a whole character, fleshed out with the most beautiful and bittersweet perspectives. He lived his life to to fullest and enjoyed every detail. 🥰💋🐍❄️
currently rewatching and I’m curious about the part where XY is in her bed and XL(FFB) comes in with the mask…
Also one of my fav. scenes. The adaptation leans heavily on XL's perspective, so many viewers miss out on XY's perspective. The blessing in the novel is that we get a glimpse into XY's emotions and thoughts. The adaptation also cut the scene where XY set up her poison trap to ensure XL's safety, and only after double checking that she didn't miss a spot, her heart finally relaxed.
True love in Lost You Forever is clearly shown...without needing of any voodoo thing...XY and Jing developed themselves…
I see that you have not addressed your ignorant and, albeit, microaggressive racist mindset. If you have a problem with the plot device, there are nuanced ways to address it. In your negative tone, labeling the Lovers' Bugs as something negative without even trying to understand why Tong Hua wrote it that way indirectly indicates that shamanism is something evil.
Nowhere in the text does Tong Hua describe the practice of 孤 (Gu) as a negative thing. Did she paint it as mysterious? Yes. Was it unknown and unpredictable? Of course. But she explained it with a nuanced perspective that was neither good nor evil because 蛊 itself was meant to prolong loved ones' lives. It tied two people together in life and death. Lovers' Bugs are no different except they tie two lovers together. The Juili Shaman King called it a curse only because of the ramifications if the hearts betray each other.
It's already hard enough that the translation for shamanism has been misconstrued as voodoo. Voodoo and shamanism are TWO SEPARATE religious and healing practices. I can only speak to shamanism, as this is my family's ancestral practice. The Juili are my ancestors in folklore, and Chi You is my patriarchal ancestor. Tong Hua's use of my ancestors as inspiration for a part of her novel is both flattering and nuanced. The nuance is the reason in the adaptation there is no Shaman King and no Juili.
In shamanism, my ancestors have always practiced healing first (spirit, mind, and body). Shamans travel between the spirit world, guided by spiritual guides, to help people heal spiritually in order to heal the mind and body. We honor our ancestors and the spirits of nature. Our shaman elders are revered in our community. So, to describe the Lovers' Bugs and the practice of tying your souls together as negative, primitive, or evil is ignorant.
Yes, XY as a character dismissing the Shaman King's knowledge is disrespectful. Who is she to question the knowledge of the eldest shaman in Juili? Who are you to look down on shamanism when you know nothing about the root that inspired Tong Hua's most important plot device?
If you don't understand what voodoo or shamanism is, you should learn about it instead of spouting your negative undertones. If you don't understand why your statement can come across as microaggressively racist, there's always Google.
One day left!!!!(≧▽≦)I saved the cutest for last. Behold Feng Long and why he's a hero character? 👇👇👇
Chi Siu Feng Long is the only hero in XY’s life. He embodies a classical idealism of what a hero is. Webster dictionary defines a hero as a person widely admired for their noble qualities and remarkable achievements, often possessing physical or magical strength that sets them apart.
Heroic attributes includes unwavering physical, mental, and emotional resilience, persisting in the face of adversity.
Heroes exhibit immense courage and an unshakable commitment to a strong sense of right and wrong. Whether dedicated to a mission, relationship, or a deeply held value system, heroes inspire through their unwavering dedication to noble causes.
They are exemplars of integrity and virtue, embodying the principles of heroism that often involve standing up for justice and rebelling against oppressive authority figures and societal norms.
FL's unwavering dedication to CX's vision of a united, peaceful world, characterized by brotherhood and filial piety, is a prominent theme throughout the story. He's portrayed as someone willing to sacrifice his own desires, even for the betterment of the world. FL possesses qualities of intelligence, bravery, and courage. He derives joy from bringing happiness to those around him, both loved ones and strangers.
What sets FL apart is his genuine kindness, extended not only to those he loves but also to strangers. He's the kind of man who was more upset at his friend for not revealing his feelings for the same girl, who, despite humiliation at his own wedding, chooses forgiveness, and who grapples with the conflict between his best friend and his filial piety toward his sister, ultimately choosing self-sacrifice to mend their relationship.
Even his reason for marrying XY aligns with the hero's mission, as it transcends mere physical desires. To him, brotherhood and friendship are among life's most cherished possessions. Since he knows he must marry eventually, he decides to marry his friend, especially one who is on the same side of history and is equal in familial and economic status. It's also unique that Feng Long describes his reasons as impure because they are not entirely rooted in romance. "I know women want romance to be pure, but sometimes you can think that all these impure reasons are the invisible threads that bind us together tightly. They might even be stronger and tighter than romance."
However, FL's affection for XY isn't devoid of love or desire, as Tong Hua skillfully portrays, “Feng Long stared at Xiao Yao, and he was so overcome that he couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over as soon as possible, for night to fall as quickly as possible, to return to their honeymoon suite as soon as possible.” Hehe.
XY didn't desire a hero, which is why she couldn't love him; she could only offer friendship.
True love in Lost You Forever is clearly shown...without needing of any voodoo thing...XY and Jing developed themselves…
It is a racist and biased term to use in your negative context! Voodoo is not even the correct translation for the Lover Bugs! Nor is the word witch doctor!
It's shamanism that Juili practices! The correct term for a practitioner is shaman.
Additionally, voodoo, like shamanism, is rooted in healing first! It is a racist and colonialist mindset that paints it in a negative light. Check your privilege!
Two days left! Today, I present my first LYF essay—a character analysis of Cang Xuan.Yes, yes...how can this…
Cang Xuan stands as the central figure in "Lost You Forever," serving as the quintessential archetype of the antihero. His character is defined by the intricate interplay of dual nature—possessing good intentions while employing questionable methods. Despite his actions yielding unselfish results, beneath the surface, selfish motives drive him. This complexity keeps the audience constantly questioning his moral compass, blurring the lines between heroism and antiheroism.
An anti-hero is defined as a protagonist or notable figure conspicuously lacking in heroic qualities. Anti-hero archetypes are incredibly complex due to their dual nature, oscillating between good and bad qualities and often displaying equal proclivities for both good and evil. For further exploration of this character archetype, the article "6 Common Elements You'll Find in an Anti-Hero" on the Storyflint website delves deeper.
Cang Xuan aspires to become emperor, yet he finds contentment in exploring the world, spoiling Ah Nian, and secretly searching for Xiao Yao. Simultaneously, he plots to either use or take down Xiang Liu to further his ambitions.
While Cang Xuan may appear heroic on the surface with his noble cause of uniting the world of Dahuang as emperor, this decision was set into motion only after reuniting with Xiao Yao. It was driven by his survival instincts, facing the choice of either killing or being killed by his uncles, and fueled by a deep desire to create a safer world for Xiao Yao, a mission made possible by Xiao Yao’s status.
He continues to enter into prominent marriages for his cause. Heroes typically uphold values that transcend worldly entanglements or steadfastly reserve their hearts for one person. Yet, despite his genuine love for XY, he persists in pursuing loveless relationships for his noble cause. And don’t get me started on his decision to become a drug addict, ruin his reputation, and become someone useless, just to get to where he needs to be.
Cang Xuan's determination to protect the women in his life is deeply rooted in his trauma from losing Xiao Yao, his mother, his beloved aunt (XY's mother), and his grandmother. Anyone who dares to harm them often finds themselves facing a very dark and wrathful man.
He doesn't hesitate to seek revenge, adhering to the principle of 'an eye for an eye.' We witness this ominous side of him on three occasions: first when Xiao Liu kidnaps Ah Nian for Xiang Liu, then in the aftermath of Xiao Yao’s assassination, and again when he plots to kill Jing. Furthermore, if Jing ever wavers in his oath to protect Xiao Yao again, there is no promise that CX wouldn't hesitate to do what he needs to ensure XY's safety.
To him, the women in his life hold a value higher than life itself, transcending all logic and reason. "Today, if I were to abandon the pursuit of justice against those who have harmed Xiao Yao in exchange for power, I would be betraying the person I once was, the one who stood resolute before Cao Yun Peak. If I betray my own vow, I will never be able to recall the happy and sad moments of our past with a clear conscience."
Even his choice to allow Xiang Liu, the sworn enemy of the Xiyan Empire, to take Xiao Yao for her recovery is, at best, questionable, but the ends justify the means.
Cang Xuan’s ambitions are interconnected with his desire to protect Xiao Yao. However, XY’s loyalty to CX and her love for him stem from sibling bond. This is not only because he sacrificed so much of his dignity for a world XY can exist in, but also because he can no longer be the man XY wants. While sitting atop the world, he could possibly be someone who would put her first, but he no longer meets XY’s second requirement of having no other woman.
CX's tragedy comes in full circle, decidingly to let XY go, losing her forever to the wilderness in his journey to be the one to protect her.
Two days left! Today, I present my first LYF essay—a character analysis of Cang Xuan.
Yes, yes...how can this XL fan end up writing about CX first? Because CX is our ML protagonist with more screen time, so it was easier to see his character unfold. 🤣👇👇👇
Physical cages serve to bind traumatic bonds between XY and XL, XY and TSJ, and XY and CX. However, it is how…
Even the kindness is a double standard. XL going over the moon to keep his men fed isn't seen as kindness...OR XL sparing XY life for intruding on military territory, OR XL saving Jing pathetic arse. 😂🤣😅
Physical cages serve to bind traumatic bonds between XY and XL, XY and TSJ, and XY and CX. However, it is how…
Codependency is not healthy as it positions XY and TSJ as the only emotional crutch for one another, and it should be called out for what it is. XY's journey to find love should have started with herself, finding meaning in life on an intrinsic and spiritual level, and searching for happiness from within.
Here's a wonderful quote from Will Smith that I am reminded of: "I'm in that phase of my life when you realize that no relationship, that no money, that no kids, there's literally nothing that can make you happy. That happy is an internal, full frontal contact with your Dark Knight of the soul. And you reconcile that. You gotta make happy in here."
It is unfair for XY and TSJ to make each other the object of their happiness because such actions dehumanize their individual selves. That is just my view on how love and happiness should be, and the way TH has penned their journey to each other contradicts what I find as a healthy way to love. Some people find the inability to love without each other romantic, to each their own...
Why would you call XL and Hong Jiang's relationship a slave and master dynamic? There is NOTHING in the text or drama that refers to their relationship in this way. It is specific in that XL came back to repay Hong Jiang, and after serving for several years, he could leave at any time, BUT Hong Jiang unexpectedly adopted him as his heir. XL wasn't just serving Hong Jiang by the time we meet XL in LYF; XL was fighting for his family, just as XY and CX were fighting for theirs. The double standard is astounding, but I understand, because some people view XL as the villain in this story, like he is the object in the way of peace and love for the Xiyan family and their empire.
But I just know that the story starts with XY in chapter one and ends with XL in the epilogue, and after several years of writing and editing on TH's part, her decision to keep this juxtaposition is unlikely a coincidence but a beautiful reminder of how much this story is also about XY and XL.
You are correct in that Jing did not choose to stay in a life filled with revenge, but that is not the only thing about Jing. His kindness was always his strength, his weakness, and his weapon. TH's allegorical reference to his cage, in my opinion, imparts on his low self-worth and his need to attach it to something. Even XL called him useless for thinking he needed his status and his money to be worthy of XY. There's plenty in the text and drama that describes Jing in this way and his mediocre outlook on life.
The concept of cages and prisons is a recurring theme that Tong Hua delves into, encompassing both physical and…
Physical cages serve to bind traumatic bonds between XY and XL, XY and TSJ, and XY and CX. However, it is how these characters cope, adapt, and heal that ultimately provides insight into how these experiences affect their outlooks and ways of life. Both XY and XL fought to stay alive, overcoming their captors and building resilience. To XY, they are too similar, whereas to XL, they are soulmates through whom he can enjoy XY's unique culinary expertise. The difference lies in XL's belief that life is worth living, cherishing every scenery and detail, and relishing these moments temporarily—living life a quarter mile at a time. Conversely, XY believes life is only worth living with someone to share it with.
In contrast, TSJ did not escape from his cage. Whether he tried, who knows? Instead, he was left for dead, forced to beg for help, further degrading his emotional and psychological state. TSJ never fully recovered from his diminished state, seemingly waiting for death. His self-worth was strongly tied to worldly status and materialistic possessions. TSJ's substitution of his self-worth onto something tangible—XY's existence—is evident.
These physical cages eventually manifest into strong emotional and psychological confines. Debates often arise regarding when each man fell in love with XY. While XL fell in love with XY gradually through their shared experiences surviving their tumultuous past, I argue that TSJ fell in love with XY due to her reaction to him as a man. TSJ's emotional confinement manifests in his displaced self-worth, a testament to his inability to break free from the physical cage imposed upon him. Meanwhile, XY's perception of TSJ's inability to live without her is flattering, reflecting her adamant requirements (that no man should abandon her and that she should always be put first), indicative of her own failure to break free.
In contrast, XL is the only one of the three who has managed to free himself from the physical cage that once confined him in the slave dens. His acceptance of FFB's oath to care for his mother, his decision to return to Hong Jiang's side, his continuous fight for his soldiers, his determination to push XY away, and his resolution to perish with his army all exemplify his exercise of free will. XL lived life to the fullest, planning his demise on his own terms.
CX, on the other hand, never had to contend with an "invisible" cage. Intelligent enough to recognize that being a hostage prince in the Haoling Empire strategically kept him safe from his vulture uncles, this circumstance did not diminish his self-worth, courage, or outlook on life. The cage/prison allegory TH writes for CX revolves around power—he imprisons XY, where TSJ extracts a 15-year promise (another level of emotional and psychological imprisonment, but a topic for another discussion). CX's emotional turmoil (guilt, love, abandonment issues) manifests in his determination to protect XY like a caged bird. He breaks free from this need by releasing XY and practicing noble magnanimity. To think otherwise would undermine his remarkable antiheroic character arc.
Labeling filial piety as a "shackle" undermines the essence of DaHuang. Such labeling would imprison everyone within their circumstances. TSJ's rationale for not seeking revenge against TSH is often misconstrued as kindness manifesting; however, closer examination reveals this resolution is not unique to him. XY refrained from seeking revenge against CX for his past violence, and CX did not retaliate against his uncles and cousins for assassination attempts. TSJ's decision against revenge does not solely reflect kindness but is deeply rooted in filial piety. To equate filial piety with kindness is simplistic; it carries nuances beyond such a label.
Among the leads in "Lost You Forever," XY and TSJ left parts of themselves in the cages and prisons that once confined them, remaining prisoners to their emotional and psychological needs, enslaved by their codependency. In contrast, XL and CX, despite tragically losing what they loved most, were the only ones whose exercise of free will enabled them to transcend their limitations and embody the antiheroes Tong Hua envisioned.
The concept of cages and prisons is a recurring theme that Tong Hua delves into, encompassing both physical and emotional/psychological dimensions. Let's explore how Tong Hua ACTUALLY uses these metaphors to portray the relationship dynamics in "Lost You Forever." 👇👇👇
As we may all know, Tu Shan Jing, the second male lead and endgame character in the world of 'Lost You Forever,'…
Thank you... It took me roughly five months to write it because I just couldn't comprehend TH's decision to write him like this. I analyzed his character arc and found its changes not significant enough to constitute a well-fleshed-out character. While all the other characters are rooted extremely strongly in Confucian thought, Jing's character is perceived as one, but his actions are the opposite of what it truly entails.
I'm glad you brought up the idea of a failed Junzi or was it Wei Junzi? I was thinking about another discussion…
I've never really thought about Lancelot much, and I think it is because his story is overshadowed by King Arthur.
To me, Lancelot and Guinevere's betrayal stems from the fact that both of them were closer in age, and therefore, the passion was probably more enticing. I believe in some despictions, by the time Guinevere (who was 19) met King Arthur, he was already in his late 20s or early 30s. He was well established as the one true king and had a lot of political power, which would have been quite daunting for a 19-year-old. Not condoning their infidelity, but just putting things in a little perspective.
Believe it or not, as an XL fan, I don't hate XY. Some days, I love her and other days, I am frustrated with her. Everything that XY could be, Tong Hua chose not to pen her, but chose her to be an encompassing manifestation of generational trauma. I was raised by a woman like XY, and I have several sisters like XY. My heart just aches because women like XY never heal. They just find more excuses to not deal with it. They expect other people to be the source of their happiness, but we all know happiness starts from within. Life is long for XY, and I often wonder if she would choose the same if her life were short. As humans, we often say "life's too short" followed by whatever we're afraid to try. Perhaps, if XY's life were shorter, she would have thought the same and let her heart make the decision for her. Here's a poem I penned for her:
My demon heart
Malediction In my last words, thrown and flown.
Yet, I mourned The time and space I last witnessed you.
How did I Miss the sorrow, meek lonely eyes You lied
While I cursed you?
Weighted Like coins that danced in casino,
I dared laugh In the time and space I shared with you.
How did I Miss the faint, fading smile lines We wine
While I assessed you?
I devor you Soaked, seeped crimson viens.
Yet, I deny The need for a time and space for you.
How did I Miss the beatings of demon hearts Impart
When you comsumed me?
Snowflakes frosted Warm and bitter, inside caressed,
This emptied bosom, where time and space stopped with you.
My demon heart, Bleeds invisibly, icicles hardened I bore
2 
1 
"Tan JianCi don't sing anymore, my heart is in pain"
I recommend ya'll watch it cause this is one of the reasons why Xiang Liu can exist without his loveline. He is a whole character, fleshed out with the most beautiful and bittersweet perspectives. He lived his life to to fullest and enjoyed every detail. 🥰💋🐍❄️
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Nowhere in the text does Tong Hua describe the practice of 孤 (Gu) as a negative thing. Did she paint it as mysterious? Yes. Was it unknown and unpredictable? Of course. But she explained it with a nuanced perspective that was neither good nor evil because 蛊 itself was meant to prolong loved ones' lives. It tied two people together in life and death. Lovers' Bugs are no different except they tie two lovers together. The Juili Shaman King called it a curse only because of the ramifications if the hearts betray each other.
It's already hard enough that the translation for shamanism has been misconstrued as voodoo. Voodoo and shamanism are TWO SEPARATE religious and healing practices. I can only speak to shamanism, as this is my family's ancestral practice. The Juili are my ancestors in folklore, and Chi You is my patriarchal ancestor. Tong Hua's use of my ancestors as inspiration for a part of her novel is both flattering and nuanced. The nuance is the reason in the adaptation there is no Shaman King and no Juili.
In shamanism, my ancestors have always practiced healing first (spirit, mind, and body). Shamans travel between the spirit world, guided by spiritual guides, to help people heal spiritually in order to heal the mind and body. We honor our ancestors and the spirits of nature. Our shaman elders are revered in our community. So, to describe the Lovers' Bugs and the practice of tying your souls together as negative, primitive, or evil is ignorant.
Yes, XY as a character dismissing the Shaman King's knowledge is disrespectful. Who is she to question the knowledge of the eldest shaman in Juili? Who are you to look down on shamanism when you know nothing about the root that inspired Tong Hua's most important plot device?
If you don't understand what voodoo or shamanism is, you should learn about it instead of spouting your negative undertones. If you don't understand why your statement can come across as microaggressively racist, there's always Google.
Heroic attributes includes unwavering physical, mental, and emotional resilience, persisting in the face of adversity.
Heroes exhibit immense courage and an unshakable commitment to a strong sense of right and wrong. Whether dedicated to a mission, relationship, or a deeply held value system, heroes inspire through their unwavering dedication to noble causes.
They are exemplars of integrity and virtue, embodying the principles of heroism that often involve standing up for justice and rebelling against oppressive authority figures and societal norms.
FL's unwavering dedication to CX's vision of a united, peaceful world, characterized by brotherhood and filial piety, is a prominent theme throughout the story. He's portrayed as someone willing to sacrifice his own desires, even for the betterment of the world. FL possesses qualities of intelligence, bravery, and courage. He derives joy from bringing happiness to those around him, both loved ones and strangers.
What sets FL apart is his genuine kindness, extended not only to those he loves but also to strangers. He's the kind of man who was more upset at his friend for not revealing his feelings for the same girl, who, despite humiliation at his own wedding, chooses forgiveness, and who grapples with the conflict between his best friend and his filial piety toward his sister, ultimately choosing self-sacrifice to mend their relationship.
Even his reason for marrying XY aligns with the hero's mission, as it transcends mere physical desires. To him, brotherhood and friendship are among life's most cherished possessions. Since he knows he must marry eventually, he decides to marry his friend, especially one who is on the same side of history and is equal in familial and economic status. It's also unique that Feng Long describes his reasons as impure because they are not entirely rooted in romance. "I know women want romance to be pure, but sometimes you can think that all these impure reasons are the invisible threads that bind us together tightly. They might even be stronger and tighter than romance."
However, FL's affection for XY isn't devoid of love or desire, as Tong Hua skillfully portrays, “Feng Long stared at Xiao Yao, and he was so overcome that he couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over as soon as possible, for night to fall as quickly as possible, to return to their honeymoon suite as soon as possible.” Hehe.
XY didn't desire a hero, which is why she couldn't love him; she could only offer friendship.
I saved the cutest for last. Behold Feng Long and why he's a hero character? 👇👇👇
It's shamanism that Juili practices! The correct term for a practitioner is shaman.
Additionally, voodoo, like shamanism, is rooted in healing first! It is a racist and colonialist mindset that paints it in a negative light. Check your privilege!
An anti-hero is defined as a protagonist or notable figure conspicuously lacking in heroic qualities. Anti-hero archetypes are incredibly complex due to their dual nature, oscillating between good and bad qualities and often displaying equal proclivities for both good and evil. For further exploration of this character archetype, the article "6 Common Elements You'll Find in an Anti-Hero" on the Storyflint website delves deeper.
Cang Xuan aspires to become emperor, yet he finds contentment in exploring the world, spoiling Ah Nian, and secretly searching for Xiao Yao. Simultaneously, he plots to either use or take down Xiang Liu to further his ambitions.
While Cang Xuan may appear heroic on the surface with his noble cause of uniting the world of Dahuang as emperor, this decision was set into motion only after reuniting with Xiao Yao. It was driven by his survival instincts, facing the choice of either killing or being killed by his uncles, and fueled by a deep desire to create a safer world for Xiao Yao, a mission made possible by Xiao Yao’s status.
He continues to enter into prominent marriages for his cause. Heroes typically uphold values that transcend worldly entanglements or steadfastly reserve their hearts for one person. Yet, despite his genuine love for XY, he persists in pursuing loveless relationships for his noble cause. And don’t get me started on his decision to become a drug addict, ruin his reputation, and become someone useless, just to get to where he needs to be.
Cang Xuan's determination to protect the women in his life is deeply rooted in his trauma from losing Xiao Yao, his mother, his beloved aunt (XY's mother), and his grandmother. Anyone who dares to harm them often finds themselves facing a very dark and wrathful man.
He doesn't hesitate to seek revenge, adhering to the principle of 'an eye for an eye.' We witness this ominous side of him on three occasions: first when Xiao Liu kidnaps Ah Nian for Xiang Liu, then in the aftermath of Xiao Yao’s assassination, and again when he plots to kill Jing. Furthermore, if Jing ever wavers in his oath to protect Xiao Yao again, there is no promise that CX wouldn't hesitate to do what he needs to ensure XY's safety.
To him, the women in his life hold a value higher than life itself, transcending all logic and reason. "Today, if I were to abandon the pursuit of justice against those who have harmed Xiao Yao in exchange for power, I would be betraying the person I once was, the one who stood resolute before Cao Yun Peak. If I betray my own vow, I will never be able to recall the happy and sad moments of our past with a clear conscience."
Even his choice to allow Xiang Liu, the sworn enemy of the Xiyan Empire, to take Xiao Yao for her recovery is, at best, questionable, but the ends justify the means.
Cang Xuan’s ambitions are interconnected with his desire to protect Xiao Yao. However, XY’s loyalty to CX and her love for him stem from sibling bond. This is not only because he sacrificed so much of his dignity for a world XY can exist in, but also because he can no longer be the man XY wants. While sitting atop the world, he could possibly be someone who would put her first, but he no longer meets XY’s second requirement of having no other woman.
CX's tragedy comes in full circle, decidingly to let XY go, losing her forever to the wilderness in his journey to be the one to protect her.
Yes, yes...how can this XL fan end up writing about CX first? Because CX is our ML protagonist with more screen time, so it was easier to see his character unfold. 🤣👇👇👇
Here's a wonderful quote from Will Smith that I am reminded of: "I'm in that phase of my life when you realize that no relationship, that no money, that no kids, there's literally nothing that can make you happy. That happy is an internal, full frontal contact with your Dark Knight of the soul. And you reconcile that. You gotta make happy in here."
It is unfair for XY and TSJ to make each other the object of their happiness because such actions dehumanize their individual selves. That is just my view on how love and happiness should be, and the way TH has penned their journey to each other contradicts what I find as a healthy way to love. Some people find the inability to love without each other romantic, to each their own...
Why would you call XL and Hong Jiang's relationship a slave and master dynamic? There is NOTHING in the text or drama that refers to their relationship in this way. It is specific in that XL came back to repay Hong Jiang, and after serving for several years, he could leave at any time, BUT Hong Jiang unexpectedly adopted him as his heir. XL wasn't just serving Hong Jiang by the time we meet XL in LYF; XL was fighting for his family, just as XY and CX were fighting for theirs. The double standard is astounding, but I understand, because some people view XL as the villain in this story, like he is the object in the way of peace and love for the Xiyan family and their empire.
But I just know that the story starts with XY in chapter one and ends with XL in the epilogue, and after several years of writing and editing on TH's part, her decision to keep this juxtaposition is unlikely a coincidence but a beautiful reminder of how much this story is also about XY and XL.
You are correct in that Jing did not choose to stay in a life filled with revenge, but that is not the only thing about Jing. His kindness was always his strength, his weakness, and his weapon. TH's allegorical reference to his cage, in my opinion, imparts on his low self-worth and his need to attach it to something. Even XL called him useless for thinking he needed his status and his money to be worthy of XY. There's plenty in the text and drama that describes Jing in this way and his mediocre outlook on life.
In contrast, TSJ did not escape from his cage. Whether he tried, who knows? Instead, he was left for dead, forced to beg for help, further degrading his emotional and psychological state. TSJ never fully recovered from his diminished state, seemingly waiting for death. His self-worth was strongly tied to worldly status and materialistic possessions. TSJ's substitution of his self-worth onto something tangible—XY's existence—is evident.
These physical cages eventually manifest into strong emotional and psychological confines. Debates often arise regarding when each man fell in love with XY. While XL fell in love with XY gradually through their shared experiences surviving their tumultuous past, I argue that TSJ fell in love with XY due to her reaction to him as a man. TSJ's emotional confinement manifests in his displaced self-worth, a testament to his inability to break free from the physical cage imposed upon him. Meanwhile, XY's perception of TSJ's inability to live without her is flattering, reflecting her adamant requirements (that no man should abandon her and that she should always be put first), indicative of her own failure to break free.
In contrast, XL is the only one of the three who has managed to free himself from the physical cage that once confined him in the slave dens. His acceptance of FFB's oath to care for his mother, his decision to return to Hong Jiang's side, his continuous fight for his soldiers, his determination to push XY away, and his resolution to perish with his army all exemplify his exercise of free will. XL lived life to the fullest, planning his demise on his own terms.
CX, on the other hand, never had to contend with an "invisible" cage. Intelligent enough to recognize that being a hostage prince in the Haoling Empire strategically kept him safe from his vulture uncles, this circumstance did not diminish his self-worth, courage, or outlook on life. The cage/prison allegory TH writes for CX revolves around power—he imprisons XY, where TSJ extracts a 15-year promise (another level of emotional and psychological imprisonment, but a topic for another discussion). CX's emotional turmoil (guilt, love, abandonment issues) manifests in his determination to protect XY like a caged bird. He breaks free from this need by releasing XY and practicing noble magnanimity. To think otherwise would undermine his remarkable antiheroic character arc.
Labeling filial piety as a "shackle" undermines the essence of DaHuang. Such labeling would imprison everyone within their circumstances. TSJ's rationale for not seeking revenge against TSH is often misconstrued as kindness manifesting; however, closer examination reveals this resolution is not unique to him. XY refrained from seeking revenge against CX for his past violence, and CX did not retaliate against his uncles and cousins for assassination attempts. TSJ's decision against revenge does not solely reflect kindness but is deeply rooted in filial piety. To equate filial piety with kindness is simplistic; it carries nuances beyond such a label.
Among the leads in "Lost You Forever," XY and TSJ left parts of themselves in the cages and prisons that once confined them, remaining prisoners to their emotional and psychological needs, enslaved by their codependency. In contrast, XL and CX, despite tragically losing what they loved most, were the only ones whose exercise of free will enabled them to transcend their limitations and embody the antiheroes Tong Hua envisioned.
To me, Lancelot and Guinevere's betrayal stems from the fact that both of them were closer in age, and therefore, the passion was probably more enticing. I believe in some despictions, by the time Guinevere (who was 19) met King Arthur, he was already in his late 20s or early 30s. He was well established as the one true king and had a lot of political power, which would have been quite daunting for a 19-year-old. Not condoning their infidelity, but just putting things in a little perspective.
Believe it or not, as an XL fan, I don't hate XY. Some days, I love her and other days, I am frustrated with her. Everything that XY could be, Tong Hua chose not to pen her, but chose her to be an encompassing manifestation of generational trauma. I was raised by a woman like XY, and I have several sisters like XY. My heart just aches because women like XY never heal. They just find more excuses to not deal with it. They expect other people to be the source of their happiness, but we all know happiness starts from within. Life is long for XY, and I often wonder if she would choose the same if her life were short. As humans, we often say "life's too short" followed by whatever we're afraid to try. Perhaps, if XY's life were shorter, she would have thought the same and let her heart make the decision for her. Here's a poem I penned for her:
My demon heart
Malediction
In my last words, thrown and flown.
Yet, I mourned
The time and space I last witnessed you.
How did I
Miss the sorrow, meek lonely eyes
You lied
While I cursed you?
Weighted
Like coins that danced in casino,
I dared laugh
In the time and space I shared with you.
How did I
Miss the faint, fading smile lines
We wine
While I assessed you?
I devor you
Soaked, seeped crimson viens.
Yet, I deny
The need for a time and space for you.
How did I
Miss the beatings of demon hearts
Impart
When you comsumed me?
Snowflakes frosted
Warm and bitter, inside caressed,
This emptied bosom,
where time and space stopped with you.
My demon heart,
Bleeds invisibly, icicles hardened
I bore
When I crave you.