So I just binged S1 of Gay Ok Bangkok and a thought occurred to me.

I enjoy all of these characters. I see their flaws and their strengths and I love them because of both, because these are people I know. I'm friends or have been friends with all of these people - I resonate with some more than most from my own experiences, but I could point to people in my life that remind me of all of them easily. They're real and lived in in a way that I'm frankly unused to seeing from most of the dramas I gravitate towards.

They make mistakes I've made, mistakes the people around me have made, and they break and they fight and they come back together in ways that I've done with people I've loved.

The Bangkok crew (aside from Big) are all past or starting to get past that point in their lives when the future seems both daunting and very far away, and everything is all immediacy, but they're still searching. Whether it's Pom who just wants to find love (and I don't want spoilers for S2 but I love that season 1 ended with him learning to appreciate himself as an individual more - the facebook posts were a nice touch and a great way to show his state of mind as we went through the show), Aof who is trying to find a person he can take care of (and balance his dwindling interest in sex along with that need - he interests me so much tbh because so much emphasis does tend to get put on sex in relationships and it's a real struggle when it just isn't the thing you're after but everyone assumes that you should be, or wants you to be, or needs it from you (disclaimer: there's nothing wrong with either and I'm not trying to imply that but I want to see the navigation between his needs and Big's needs, or his needs and the needs of whoever he winds up with)), or Arm who is maybe the most aimless of all, wandering between relationships and jobs, staying with Pom when he gets dumped but unable to help foot the bills because he doesn't want to be stifled by a regular job. Arm strikes me as the friend who just doesn't want to grow up, but adulthood comes for us all in the end.

And then there's Nat, who I think is the most settled of the bunch, possibly to do with his HIV + status, or maybe it's just him. Whatever it is, I adore him. He's got his head firmly on his shoulders and he knows what he wants, but that doesn't quite stop him from taking a chance on Arm, who he knows is a risk but who he hopes will be for him anyway. But he has enough strength to walk away when he realizes it won't work.

Am I still kinda rooting for Arm and Nat to work things out? Yes. Will I be upset if they don't? I don't know. If there had never been a season two I think I would have been fine with how it all shook out. Frankly, this is the kind of ending I want from OF - one that feels earned, and logical, and not like they threw a pat, unambiguously happy ending at us for no reason (no, I am never getting over the end of The Warp Effect, don't @ me I don't want to hear it).

But even more than the romance, what I really loved is the friendship. The sense of community. Yes Arm and Pom fight when Arm makes a move on Pom's crush, yes they are petty and mean and say awful, hurtful things to each other in the moment, but in the end they're still friends because they know each other and care about each other and because to be quite honest, in a community as small as theirs (and I can't speak to Thailand because I'm from the West, but I know that where I'm from you see this kind of thing a lot. We have more legal rights here than there, I know that, but our community is still smaller and everyone kinda knows or knows of each other) you don't just drop the only people you know who get you over that kind of thing. You just don't. I was as invested in Arm and Pom making up as I was in any of the romantic couples working out. More, maybe.

I am also extremely glad to see the show address sexual health. Suck, fuck, and get tested! Words to live by, honestly.