swagata

🤣🤣 lufeng was so happy that he forgot and honestly even i forgot that until the sec I saw ur comment. 🤣

Correct but gist is same. That I said in previous comment. Sadness and sickness made them age that much. So it's intentional with that makeup.

I can't disagree. 😅

Ig now that black flag era and the most hurtful things are gone. I can finally breathe and wait for the finale week. By that time i seriously need to heal myself by watching lovey dovey drama. This drama has ruined my emotional health by always making me confused whether to love them, hate them, want HE or BE.

I wouldn't say yichen didn't loved lufeng. More like he never spoke and took stand. And with all due respect please allow me to use the word "coward" for yichen because he is. Just want good relationship without doing anything. Never taking stand neveeer. Ne er choosing lufeng. I just hate him.

Fr 🤣

They are supposed to look like that. It was explained in the book. Yichen after recovering lost so much weight and always look sickly. And lufeng loneliness, pain, yearning and longing bas made them look much older. Aren't we also the same? When he got through stress and something bad ok our life we also look depressed, old, sickly. Plus in the novel they actually were in 40s.

Let me first complete the black flag era thing.
Yichen what right did u have to feel jealous about ke lo? Lufeng what right u have to say " what right yichen has to negotiate with u" it's his life lu feng. Lu feng did u actually thought that yichen considers u as family? If he would ever had he would have taken stand atleast once in his life. And if u have then lufeng family doesn't hurt each other and imprison and rape. They don't put their loved one down. They don't make them feel ashamed in front of others.i get it that u were so hurt that again someone was trying to snatch yichen from u. But for god sake lufeng he don't want to stay with u. Get over with it. And lufeng blaming only yichen about the condition u both are is completely wrong even u were responsible. Yichen u agreed that ur mind was mess. Then why did u took decision that fast? Is marriage joke to u? That if mind is messy, situation is messy, mother is dying but let's do marriage why? Because ur mind is mess and u can't take decision by communicating not that lu feng would have listened calmly but if that's the case why u just don't let lufeng go completely? What's with this on and off situation? Do u think that people's emotions and love is something that can stay and go as per ur wishes? As per ur life situation? And if someone just don't want to let that relationship go then u provoke them by not explaining rationale behind that instead say words that u know ur partner will not like. Why yichen?

See yichen loved lufeng that's why he took bullet without thinking. U are ready to die. Even in death you were remembering the school relationship days that it was soo beautiful. Why yichen why???? We viewers also were dying and suffering exactly because of those stupid loving and adorable school relationship days. The kind of love where you both were enough for each other. Where u both were willing to stay and work in the relationship. If u can't let it go then how can lufeng?? Because he loved you more than u loved him..it's a fact. U think dying will set u free but what about lufeng? He would have to see his hands full of blood of his own life. The person with whom he and u both wanted to spend lifetime together, be together. The one who has to see u everyday with the fear of loosing u to death and him also being dead while being alive in human form. Aren't u selfish to think that?

All both of u wanted is just a life with each other. Why it was so hard for u to speak up? Although ur brother was pushed he still now have a very happy life with qin lang. Wbu? Wbu yichen and lufeng? Are you happy yichen?tell me u became a good son, good brother, husband, good friend but a very bad lover. U can think of everyone except lufeng and all go about that u love him the most. Sorry u don't. U love him with ur conditions . If conditions are in favour of u then u will come back with him if not then just let go without explanation. But lufeng loved u unconditionally except the only rule is that u don't leave him. Which i know it's toxic but he just want to hold on the person who have him soo much healing and whol he loved the most in the world.

All lufeng ever wanted is to share a same space and a bowl of ramen to eat and just look at you admiring. Touch u, make love with u. Aren't u the same yichen? U also wanted lifetime and valentine with him.but why u always left him? Why u always ran?

And why in the world i am getting soo much upset and crying over and over just because of drama? I am also stupid to feel these level of frustration, pain, love, anger. I hate everyone in this drama but still can't hate lufeng and yichen. Aahh.

I wish they truly get their happiness just not with each other. Lu feng has now learned or still learning patience, calm. But trust me both needs therapy. Specially lu feng. Because he really was not a bad person the love for yichen made him. He needs therapy. And then both needs to go separate ways. Or if happy ending then it can only be being friends till the end if letting go is not possible. Ik for lufeng it's better that he die than letting go of yichen. It's impossible. But what to do? I can't see both of their pain.

Please tell me if today's ep is any better than yesterday. Because i genuinely need time to get over the sadness and toxicity yesterday's ep gave me. But i really want to watch todays ep.

True but lu feng deep down desires yichen's love and him being beside him always. But by these actions even if lu feng make yichen loose everyone he still will not be able to give the comfort lu feng is seeking. Lu feng is seeking comfort from the pain he has suffered, acknowledgement from yichen that he still love and miss him. And he never had Zhou lan touched. Lu feng is seeking the reassurance that yichen will stay with him. He is seeking yichen's love and warmth. He wants explanation why time and over again he chose to run than better communicate. Which is also the sad part because whenever they talked they always provoked each other never telling specially yichen that why he is running away and not choosing him. There are lot of emotions portrayed in drama and each emotion is currently at its peak. This time neither can take a good decision or communicate. All they can do is to just suffer with each other. Oh god!! Like this drama even I am entangled. 😅

U are not alone.

Exactly! U put my thoughts in words by saying " u can't live with them but u can't live without them" . So tragic. Plus I am glad that someone else also has noticed these little details. Each screen reflects their relationship.

In early days. Lu feng and yichen wore light and bright clothes and cinematography was also graded to give spring/summer vibes kind of blooming love and radiant love. If u remember in camera recording phase sunflowers were shown. I think it was yichen's fav flower. Sun flower always face sun which is also a ray of hope.

Then after 4 years of separation. The clothes that they wear also changes along with cinematography. Lu feng now don't wear light and bright clothes. They both wear plain and neutral coloured. The screen also shifted to normal grading rather than summer grading as shown in their first phase of relationship.

Coming to dark era. This one omg. While lu feng wore black clothes to show his emptiness and death of soul yichen wore white denoting that he desire peace and freedom but he is not able to get it. After all the atrocities and inflicting pain, yichen is always sitting and lying down in cozy manner seeking protection which he is not getting. He was also shown sitting at just one corner in that white big house with bird cage kept alongside table depicting the state of both yichen and lu feng. Yichen being caged devoid hope and freedom. Lu feng being constantly monitoring him through cctv as if he is watching a caged Bird each action and afraid that given the bird he is, yichen will just fly away only to be never found again unless yichen himself decide it to come. Just like their previous and current situation. Then white rooms..it's being said that if white/ light is constantly coming in room it serves more of depression than being a comfort. Which exactly is their life and relationship is depressing. Then u had at one conversation where sunflower petals were dried and his petals were falling. That exactly states yichen's fav flower and his own personality and his current state. His soul is crushing and he is not finding ray of hope. Then u have yichen smiling at sunlight as if he wants to embrace it but when darkness come sunlight goes away so as his expression. Then the chains over the bed depicting how their relationship has been caged with love, pain, anger, they want to ease the pain by getting free but they are not able to instead they are getting deeper into the abyss. It's suffocating soo suffocating. Then when this time they got intimate/ non consensual sex/ rape they were intense with each other as if their intensity of relationship is destroying them. Lu feng was using black threads to grip and bind yichen just like his fear of loosing yichen, like their own relationship can't let go, it's hurtful, but can't even give and show love because of pain and suffering piled up and anger. There are just lots of more and more. Even camera lighting went to yellowish orange depicting madness, obsession.

After a very long time I am seeing a drama being so attentive to minute details to add on the story. Hats off to the screenwriter, costume designer, director, cameraman, editors. Seriously i am truly amazed by this drama.

Plot is one thing but this is whole diff level.

I want to. But i can't bring myself to do that. This show is already too much for me. The level of toxicity is just making me go insane. I am scared of happy ending here. Because imagine giving happy ending after what lu feng has done to yichen in ep9 and previous rape and his brother thing. Rape and imprisonment is a very very very serious and sensitive topic. No one should ever go through that. Never. I know it's a fiction but if a rape is mentioned then even fiction needs to address that properly. Otherwise imagine living with someone who did all these to u. Death is better than that.

But idk I also feel for lu feng. His loneliness, his suffering, his care i get it. But still can't defend those actions. Part of the problem with this series is that lu feng was not shown as bad person. He was shown who was warm in his relationship. That's why the opinions are divided. Those first two ep set the foundation of image of lu feng and viewers including me don't want him to suffer just because of that.

That being said yichen is also toxic.

I will try to read complete novel to understand their relationship era and the followed suffering. But having heard and read in pieces that lu feng did always used have violence i fear i will see lu feng as a complete criminal despite having love. A part of me is afraid of reading complete novel and a part of me is also afraid of judging the drama based on novel. Because drama has some changes from novel i want to judge drama based on drama only.

Having said that i am just surprised that definitely author and director and crew members knew some kind of magic spell because they just took a gist of toxic love story and made the characters show so morally grey and twisted that it keeps viewers on edge.

Dream ig. But it was too real. Like universe is giving yichen signal that lu feng is going to make him suffer emotionally, physically and mentally.

Or maybe he don't want to even talk? Because whenever and whatever yichen has ever said he has never kept his words. Or maybe this time lufeng don't want to give yichen choice to choose. From today's ep lu feng just want to let yichen know that he was dying everyday while searching and waiting for him. And he was living like a dead person. Because afterall yichen didn't gave lu feng closure or clarity that he will or have any thoughts about marrying Zhou lan.

Btw from what i have noticed u have always commented that lu feng is rapist which he is. But idk I have always seen u commenting from yichen's pov and his pain and not lufeng pov. His actions are different thing but never even saw u taking side with lu feng when he was good in relationship like in school days apart from that non consensual sex.

That made me curious to know:-
1. do u even like toxic romance dramas? And if yes then what drama according to u have handled toxicity in mature way.
2. Do u consider yichen pov because u find him more relatable or u don't want to see lu feng pov or is it that after thinking from both pov u still relate more with yichen.

Ik these questions are not something u are bound to ans me. But if u are ok then please let me know

If i am not wrong. Ayden chose sitong on his own based on the connection he felt with him. But yeah I get it from where u are coming.

Today more than hot. It was more of saying how much yichen still affect him and he is falling in love again with him. Also the aggression in his kisses were like saying how much pain he suffered. The streak of tears saying it's hurting him to even remember those pain and at the same time intensity reflecting his anger that yichen might have got intimate with Zhou lan. The consuming kisses as if he is claiming yichen is still his and he miss this feeling with him.

Although i don't understand when yichen saw camera why lufeng looked like he never knew that camera was there. But tbh those scenes of passion doesn't seem fake or intentional to hurt yichen. It's as if when he was saying "xiao chen, xiao chen, xiao chen" it was coming from craving and missing that he felt in years without him. And how things are still not ok between them.

Goddd. I should just stop talking i am being too emotional today after this ep.

But lu feng sacrificed his sister and in today's episode it was confirmed that he did cared for his father even though he beat him. Not saying yichen also should have choosen lufeng and sacrificed his family but he could have handled situation better and it's a fact. It's wrong also to always expect lu feng to act mature. Both were of same age aren't they in the series?
And if yichen didn't had any regrets about his choices he wouldn't even bothered to explain whole past thing. Specially when lu feng didn't asked for his marriage reason thing. Also in today's episode it was confirmed that lu feng was infact was insecure about yichen leaving him because of property. That's why he said if u wanted to leave then atleast u should have talked to me when things were calmer or in mature way. Lu feng did thought yichen left him because of money. Think about him that he was questioning yichen's love for him that thought says a lot. Who doesn't want that their partner feels secure about relationship and feel secure? Both was missing whenever yichen has chance to show this. And please it's not just about his mother there are lot of things. Again it doesn't give lu feng right to do whatever he did and all was wrong. And neither lufeng sacrifices should come with yichen expectations to sacrifice but somewhere he did lacked the kind of effort lu feng and the relationship was demanding.

What i feel is lu feng is making yichen's soul crushed. Yichen is craving for protection and is just one step behind depression. Sunlight is a reflection of hope which he is devoid of. Because even if he escape from lufeng place the harm was done on soul level. He can't escape from that. He is smiling trying to find hope as if someone just embrace him with that. But the second sunlight was gone his slight change in face to sadness was noticed.
( In my understanding. I maybe wrong)

Today's ep best describe in " painful, hurtful, torture".