swagata

I mean according to me atleast yichen's brother did wanted to protect yichen but his action was somewhat grey. If u truly want to protect someone ig u don't try to manipulate or say half truth. Plus forgetting it was something I don't understand. When yichen was miserable after first separation his brother should have said the truth about msg that he didn't left him and is wanting to come back to be together specially when yichen was willing to wait as long as he gets assurance lufeng will keep his promise to be together for a lifetime because to him this promise meant so much to him. Also for me i can't forget the fact that yichen's brother constantly blame that lu feng hurted yichen when and how idk and I don't understand. Ok he was a kid but he told the same to his bf and he also just agreed without knowing backstory. Although I don't hate him that much like how people in this forum hate but i definitely not like him also. I feel like all the characters here are grey flag.

I can't with this story. I truly wanted to love this drama. For those who is still watching I genuinely want to know if story and acting ever gets better.
I have watched till ep4. And here is my take in this drama.

1st couple- Ig this is one of the very few drama where 1st couple didn't excite me. There is just no character or emotional depth as a person and as a relationship. The story depicts you en to be so beautiful but morally standing and a good person with whom qiu yu gets attracted immediately. But thats it. Afterwards, the story gets so boring. Their story has potential like contract, getting obsessed as qiu yu was shown time and again that he want you en to be reserved for him. But why he like you en? No idea because he is good looking? Because he shows basic human care. No story progression after that or climax till ep4. I am having zero interest in this cp.

Atp i basically find more chemistry between qiu yu and his childhood friend.

2nd couple- thank God. For me they are the ones who literally are carrying the story. Qiu yu friend was mysterious. He keep his emotions and feelings towards both you en and the fan of qiu yu. Sometimes it will feel like he is trying to provoke qiu yu by getting close with you en when he actually admire him and his beauty. But what's interesting is qiu yu friend find the fan very opposite but still enjoy his company. Their love story has some mystery which is why I was able to watch till 4-5 ep. But still that also didn't entertain me enough to invest my time in this drama.

So unless someone says that story actually gets better i am dropping this drama.

Do what ur heart says. But yes u will get hurt in the entire series. But it's worth watching imo. Basically this kind of story is hard to find where two people love each other soo much but due to society time and again they have to let go of each other and spend their days in suffering and eventually hurt each other because of toxicity. Not because they were bad people but because they can't let go of each other but circumstances force them. One tries too hard to hold on the sand in his palm and one hesitates to fight for their relationship. But I bet u if u loved toxic and tragic stories or have liked "To my shore" u will love this as well. Give it a try for 3-4 and then decide.

Ep1-2 is basically soo sweet with their relationship.

Ikr. When I first read novel. I was shocked that yichen didn't even knew he was causing this much pain until this scene. It confirms that he put everyone above him. And the tone of novel " lu feng, lu feng" shows how much yichen felt pain when he realises this. It's like an heartache for him. It's like suddenly he realises the pain he gave to lu feng and his sacrifices and felt soo bad that he wronged him. And since words can't describe what he is feeling he is just calling his name lu feng lu feng out of pain, realisation, his dear one from whom he want to seek forgiveness, the one with whom he finally want to be together despite all the past. This paragraph was the moment when he finally let go of the world and did what his heart desires truly which was lu feng and his love and companionship and giving him the love he crave and showering him warmth and light which yichen was but he himself sabotage it. So beautiful but so tragic. May this kind of pain never finds me. Because imagine being yichen or lu feng it's sooo soo sooo sad.

Maybe some girls but not all. I personally like when plot has character depth and good plot not just romance. But sometimes when u watch lot of heavy plot or when life is a mess u need something on calm and sweet side to just heal u. So mood also plays a role.

Watch only if u are ready to watch toxic lovestory because no character imho is completely green here. Or wait for another 2 weeks to complete this drama. Because once u start there is no going back either u hate it or love it. But the series has potential to bind u to the screen all the time to the point that wait is only the way out.

While i can still understand other reasons. Yichen's brother hiding msg was never addressed and he doesn't seem guilty about it also. No i can't forgive him on that it has no reason. Plus later he was dating a guy still never felt guilty about it.

Ikr. I don't know how to explain my feelings about this drama. I love them together but given the toxicity i don't want them to be together. I see their deep love it was sooo beautiful but I see their suffering also. I see lu feng suffering and his love but I see yichen suffering and love. I see people around them. It's like this drama has truly conquered my heart and soul. They are toxic to each other for me but ig the love between them was soo strong that they decided to be together in the end. I just don't know what i feel about characters and story. It's like on and off emotional turmoil and to be able to write and make a drama like this is truly astonishing. For any matter I think I need to see it till the end but wait is too long. 2 ep per week is not suffice but is good also because it give me time to calm down my emotions only to get tortured by them again.

Because consider giving two people happy ending when lu feng raped, tortured, made yichen went through coma, putting down the person u love in front of everyone by humiliating him in front of his own son, making him body concious and what not. And consider yichen who just have one word in defense "I love him. I am miserable." Always playing victim card because of whatever reason idc never taking a stand for their relationship. Not giving equal in relationship and making other exhausted. Destroying lot of people life. It's not something everyone can accept and although it will be fiction adapted from novel it sets wrong standard and still romanticises the idea that these level of toxicity can still end up beautifully. It's a big no no. Atleast in drama when they toned down u can take stand and still think ok these are reasons but they can still be together atleast with whatever incidents happened till ep8. Plus not to mention of u read novel u clearly know that the author must be very young when she was writing this book. Lot of things were not dealt properly. Atleast through drama with some minor changes u can still have a hope to deal things in mature way. Otherwise from novel pov how can u defend lu feng slapping and raping yichen at his office? That's something one should go and report it to police. Because it is a real trauma irl. Although in drama also u can't defend lu feng with this and still ask them to be together at the end. These year gaps are like cooling down that I can let go of past and live my life without u. But still happy ending idk.

Imo it's not manipulative. But ig he still has feelings for lu feng. That's why he is just hoping that what if he also wasn't able to move on like me. And want to get his attention. Lu feng made the boundary by giving him cold shoulder.

What bothers me is why people always point out lu feng toxicity? Is it because it fits the set society standard of toxicity? But isn't yichen also toxic? Not giving equal efforts and not choosing your partner over and over again for whatever reason of sacrifices and all drama. But not giving equal efforts also makes other person tired. It's like u are in a one sided relationship where all the efforts to stay together are expected from u but u can't expect from ur partner.

Yichen said "are u going to leave me? I don't want to break up" when lu feng has dilemma to choose his family over yichen. But lu feng stayed. He assured that he will not let him go and he did that but when the same situation arises for yichen atleast a good confrontation also he didn't have. Why he don't talk things with lu feng. Isn't that toxic as well. Just because his toxicity doesn't come with physical violence doesn't mean he is not toxic.

Both yichen and lu feng are toxic.

Lu feng actually put more efforts and loved him over anything. Always discussing his decision that's why his love was taken granted. Afterall when u are always available for other person that person never values u. A person only values other person if they are far from ur reach.

This story is soo sad. But what's more sad is always pitying yichen's sacrifices and not recognising his toxic behaviour. Glad that atleast one person talked about him being manipulative even though I don't agree with yichen being manipulative but he is toxic.

I am planning to start this drama how is it? I see ratings is low. And drop out rates high after 12-13 ep

Novel has happy ending. Not sure how they will end in series. But lot of toxicity is coming if they adapt even 1percent of novel.

Idts till last ep u will find any happiness from this drama. Better relive the ep1,2 of this drama 🥺

Omg i also love fictional stories. I do love to watch toxic stories with red flag or black flag and avoid in future but ig if story is not written in s way where these dark themes are handled with much care i don't like that plot because it kind of set the idea that this is normal. And that's the reason I don't generally like FF dealing with manhandling. I wonder how people and society was back then if the toxic love was that norm. Because imagine romanticising and giving happy ending to the person who in real life deserve jail. But i love that cbl or the author was enough mature to understand ot atleast bring out issues like same sex rape can happen because there are lot of countries that think male rape is not possible. And has zero laws protecting them till now. Plus the issue of gay people marrying a girl for the sake of society is also something that I was shocked to know when I was teen. Let's see how story unfolds in drama because i am curious.
Finally after talking to you i can put my mind at ease that i am not alone with these thoughts.

Chapter no i don't remember but he did drugged him when he first came to his house after 20 years separation. He mixed something in his drink and that happened and yes he did had s*x in front of his own son. And the fact that story only slightly touched emotional trauma from that and every torture lu feng inflict on yichen by just having fever and not able to sleep and then move on is something due to which i can't love the story of novel. For me if u are using these intense things in novel it has to be addressed properly. But in the novel when yichen was in coms lu feng said his intention about each act and after that yichen although afraid of lu feng just never talked about the crimes he did to yichen. That made me think that author was some teenager because there is no way after these a person can have romantic feelings for anyone. I just hate lu feng toxic arc. And yes he was sex freak but in last chapter ig he did said " do I make love to u so that I can satisfy your lower body? I want to love your whole body" so that was atleast some character development only in that part.

I agree with u in series he is more humane. I like the changes that has been made in the series as compared to novel. Because in novel i truly didn't wanted them to get happy ending. At most friends. But here since things are changed i am thankful for that as now I think I can still accept lu feng being with yichen if things don't go beyond limit. R word is unforgettable crime , paralysing part is something i can't defend its wrong but except that till now I am still ok.

In novel, he made yichen suffer so much not to say he drugged yichen and he made him r*** a young guy. He used to have on off mood swings with yichen in novel as long as yichen was not suffering physically he never let any opportunity of showing hatred to let go. But i think here he will not show this level of brutality. Not to highlight in novel he used sexual violence but here violence was not shown of that level which i sn thankful. In novel he constantly humiliate yichen and beat him idts here he will do all that.

But similarities are there. Both lu feng are toxic. And essence of story is same.

Finally someone pointed out my emotions. You can't blame any one character but cannot defend anyone as well. Because all are at fault despite not being at fault. I think the only true villian is the society and the time this drama's story was written. It's just like untamed where no one is villian except society.

Idk what to feel after ep 8. I am speechless. Its like all i can see is suffering, pain and no resolution. Things are getting more complex as story progresses.

Yi chen- He did marry a girl as her mother wished. I am glad that the marriage didn't last long but it has already done it's damage to the life of so many people. Yichen truly wanted to be with lu feng. That's why when he was getting married he was seeing lu feng not Zhou lan. But in the process yichen, Zhou lan, lu feng, lu feng's sister got hurt. Now after all that idk why he even went to see lu feng to his company? See i told u he says break up then break up he says let's meet and be together then be together. After getting married he fulfilled his filial duty and he got divorced. Zhou lan found someone else. Now that he is not bounded by anything he suddenly wishes to see lu feng when he was the one who gave him up because of whatever reason. Shouldn't he let go of lu feng and move on with his life. I don't understand him. In these 5 years of separation although he was suffering he was having Zhou lan as a friend who understand him. But lu feng was alone bearing the pain, drowning himself in alcohol consumption. It was one decision that brought the suffering to the next level.

Lu feng- not defending him. But his pain is something i can't watch. Who is that boy? Why was he so non chalant with yichen? What feelings he has now with yichen? Yichen was able to see lu feng through social media but lu feng was not able to even know why suddenly he took that decision to marry and not even have proper bye. He drowned himself with work and alcohol to ease the pain. Every second he was suffering.

Both had to let go of the person they loved because of the stigma. I am happy that in 2026 atleast lot of countries are starting to acknowledge this and make laws.
Because no one should suffer like this.

Yichen's mother- I hope now that her one of the son is "normal," has fulfilled his filial duty, she can peacefully die. Because I don't want to even talk about her. She never once thought about yichen's happiness. All she thought is about the society and stigma. She never even said " i understand u yichen but not society hence let's follow the rules made by society". She just said loving a person of same gender is not normal.

Zhou lan- i have doubt if she knew that yichen was gay? And if yes then why she decided to marry him? When she knew his relationship with lu feng? Was she trying to give a shot that ok a person's sexual orientation can be changed? Having said that i am glad she got divorced and found her happiness.

I honestly don't know what to feel about this drama because I am not sure if i want both yichen and lu feng to be together. But one thing for sure, lu feng lost his innocence and warmth now. He now don't have that eyes that he used to give to yichen. I really need to watch ep1,2 to see lu feng and yichen school days relationship to heal myself rn.

I agree with you on yichen's dilemma of fighting for their love with her mother when she is in critical health condition. I do agree with you on lu feng part. That he did made the situation worse . No one is defending lu feng actions. But how should I put it? Yichen has grown with such a happy family except that homophobic thing. It's true that anyone in his position will think about family than his lover.

While lu feng is also not wrong from where he is coming. I am saying about his feelings and not his actions( his actions are something that I can't defend period). He has always seen violence in his life so when he fell in love with yichen he fell deeply and don't want to let it go at any cost. Considering the fact that they both were so happy when they were together. They were each other's world. Specially for lu feng yi chen was like his light, warmth. He already lost him once and the fear of loosing him and to not be able to take suffering from separation is something that is the main drive here of his anger. Again not defending lu feng actions.

But at least for me the main problem with yi chen is that why can't he ever come out on front of the world? U can see in his college reunion, when they were in relationship even yi chen should have taken his time and effort to talk to her mother properly by giving some hints that love can't be forced and being gay is not a disease and he is completely normal. The first start of this should be from the time his mother was constantly talking about marriage.

Lu feng actions of not understanding the situation when everyone was trying him to hold back when talking with his mother escalated but yi chen was also at the fault for not trying to speak to his mother. He should have said to Zhou lan that he is gay. Atleast somewhere he needed to start which he didn't that makes him at fault. Otherwise isn't it also a human nature for other party( lu feng) to just expect something when he is always trying and fighting? It was not a equal give and take relationship and how much one can fight without getting tired or frustrated. Which he did also. All he wanted yi chen to be there with him. But that also lu feng sensed that he is ready to leave him without any thoughts. Yi chen could have explained that " we are taking break but we are not letting go of each other. During this time we will try to talk with our family and see where it goes" instead of that it came out as "we are taking a break because of my mother i don't know when we will be back together or if we ever be together". That's why lu feng bashed out enough is enough. Not defending his actions but i get his suffering.

If lu feng is to blame for his toxic behaviour then yi chen is also to be blamed for not taking enough effort in their relationship.

As a person who hates violence i don't agree with you here. Lu feng despite being the person who has always seen violence and power as the resolution to let out frustration since childhood, i think lu feng was the same person who knows how to love someone deeply to the point he can fight the whole world but will keep his love safe.

If u see lu feng and yi chen relationship. He was always do patient with him, pampering him, trying to always win his love.

Now let's talk about the problematic part:-
1. When lu feng R word yi chen- no excuse it's a crime not to be forgiven.
2. When lu feng was confronting xiao chen mother he was already tired of xiao chen not taking stand for their love. He was already separated for 4 years because of this and then with xiao chen because xiao chen was afraid of getting hurt again and when they came into relationship then also in gatherings coming as "friends" even when Zhou lan approached yichen. Yichen didn't told her that he is gay. This all made lu feng frustrated that if not u then I will. I will tell her that we love each other and are not ready to let go. That's why he emphasized " if not now then when?" Nobody knew that yichen mother will went to shock.
3. When yichen's brother was all provoking him that he ruined their life because he just loved yi chen and fought for that. Then why nobody is questioning his brother? He also used his hands constantly to push lu feng. Ik the strength was low and more of accusing in nature. But he did it first. Now lu feng yes he was wrong to push yichen's brother no one is saying that. But giving the whole situation we are understanding him that ok that's why ig happened although it was never his intention.

But saying lu feng always resort to violence atp i don't think so it's s correct statement. Otherwise it's all ur pov and opinion.