Kang Hae Jun vs Kim San Ha Family Situation

so i have been thinking about which one has the worse situation too, and i believe San Ha is having a worse time.

Hae Jun's mom left him with so much love and promised to come back. at least he knows that his mom loved him until the last moment. he is just waiting for a promise to come true and it's not that torturing.
On the other side, San Ha's mom left him with no love. she was like "you wanna be here? then be here" and she left. and before leaving him, she made him feel terrible about his sister's death. so all in all, he is a depressed boy with no mother and a drunk dad.
About their situation in episode 4, I still think San Ha is going through more. imagine your mom coming back after 10 years and still hating you. it's just terrible. Hae Jun has to keep doing what he was doing for the past 10 years, waiting. But San Ha has to deal with so many things now. 

 Webbits:

Is it really better that Hae Jun's mom lied to him?

 Webbits:

it would hurt more in the moment, but you know what's scarier than the truth?

 Webbits:

Hope is scary because it goes both ways. It could be something wonderful that keeps you going everyday, or like in Haejun's case, it's a traumatic situation where he keeps wondering "what if, when".

I SO agree with you on this. Knowing for a fact with no doubt, one can come to terms with the one who caused the damage (eventually) and won't be discouraged if it turns out to BE true. On the other hand, 'they' say hope deferred makes the heart sick. It keeps the heart longing for something which might not EVER occur. 

Personally this reminds me of 1 daughter of mine who promises things to the rest of us when we all know she has no intention of fullfiling them. But each time she does, we hope this time will be different. 

 Webbits:

After finishing episode 4, I i took a step back just to put myself in both Kang Hae Jun and Kim Sanhas shoes.  One boy having hope that his mother will come back for him and one boy having a grudge against his mother. The one question that lingers is when Kim Sanha stated to Kang Hae Jun "At least your mom had the decency to lie to you that she'll return." Is it really better that Hae Jun's mom lied to him? I would prefer honesty if my mother hated me. Yes, it would hurt more in the moment, but you know what's scarier than the truth? 

HOPE.

Hope is scary because it goes both ways. It could be something wonderful that keeps you going everyday, or like in Haejun's case, it's a traumatic situation where he keeps wondering "what if, when".

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be a negative post. It's more thought provoking. 

Let me know what you think.

Signed - Webbits.

I just hate Kim Sanha's mom so much, she was very hateable in Go Ahead but here is another level of infuriating.

 LucyL:

I don't agree that here Kim Sanha's mom is on another level. I think they both are raving vile pos B****. We do agree they're both very bad mothers and women.

I think is how she keeps blaming him from his sister's death and keeps saying that bringing the other sister that looks exactly like her is for him, like what ? Do you think he can just replace her because she looks like her. And does she think his trauma is not also because of her and how she kept repeating how he killed her and didn't deserve to be happy? Most of the things the mother did to him in Go ahead were when he was living with her, and here she already did unforgivable things and he has yet to live with her. 

it has been revealed that Haejun stopped believing in middle school - about the promised return of his mom. 

Although one can still hope continually but long goneis the desperation as if your life depends on it. He may sometimes get jealous and get emotional but he knows he can continue life even without his mom.

Sanha on the other hand, he described the relationship as toxic. It made him hate himself, to salvage the affection left he has for his mother and dead sister. He needed a lifeline to literally live life and be allowed to enjoy it. He found this with Juwon.

I think we must also consider their personalities. Haejun does not have any parents, but I still feel for Sanha because I have a closer personality with him. I am reseved who thinks and feels a lot of my surroundings.

Lastly, the tie breaker  there was grief of losing someone to death. This weighs more for me.

 1259:

it has been revealed that Haejun stopped believing in middle school - about the promised return of his mom.

Although one can still hope continually but long goneis the desperation as if your life depends on it. He may sometimes get jealous and get emotional but he knows he can continue life even without his mom.

Of course HaeJun can continue life without his mom. But no matter what he says that he stopped believing she'd return, you saw how he reacted when he saw a woman he mistook for her. He ran to her and just called her, "Eomma!" at the top of his voice. 

I was 9 when my mom left us. We didn't know where she was.  After a while, I forgot what she really looked like. But, whenever I saw a short Asian lady with her last haircut, I would think, she could be passing by me and I wouldn't even know. Abandonment and the issues that come with it stayed with me for decades, until I sought therapy and dealt with it.

 LucyL:

the heaviness of having to seek out therapy.

I just wish both HaeJun and SanHa had the option to seek out therapy. Having that third-party perspective made a huge difference for me. These boys had to carry so much at such young ages.