ATOTS Rewatch Party: Ep. 7 May 28th @ 8:30 PM BKK Time: USING SYNCTUBE FOR GROUP VIEWING.

Hi everyone!  I'm sorry that this chapter is so long but I found it hard to condense.  It has a lot of nice scenes in it, though.  Have a nice week!

  Chapter 18

Phupha reflects that he just wants to live for others and all his real feelings are swallowed up by this this way of living.

Tian thanks Phupha for saving him and says he is attempting to repay him by taking care of him while he is recovering from his injuries.  Phupha shuts his mouth to prevent Tian from feeding him.  Tian asks him why he’s so stubborn and won’t allow him to take care of him.  He asks Phupha when he thinks his wound will heal.  Phupha replies mysteriously that his wound will never heal.  Tian is a shaken by that statement seeing that Phupha, who seemed so strong was slowly breaking down. 

Tian tells Phupha that he will be leaving him one day and he says he wants to leave behind a good memory of himself.  Tian is crying when he says this and Phupha wipes the tears from his face. 

Tian then reveals that he is the recipient of Torfun’s heart.  Phupha says he is not surprised by that but that he is more surprised that Tian had Torfun’s diary.  Tian apologizes for having taken her diary.  Phupha replies to this “It doesn’t matter, just please don’t live your life to replace anyone else in the future.”  This statement thoroughly shakes Tian. 

Tian’s mind went blank and he reflects on how his life now was really that of Torfun and he cries profusely.  He was living the life of a volunteer teacher like Torfun and not that of Tian Sopasitsakul, the unprofessional rich boy. 

He mumbles something unintelligible like a madman while sobbing hard and shaking from the inability to accept the truth.

Phupha feels Tian’s pain but he doesn’t want to intervene because he feels Tian would not be able to get rid of Torfun’s influence if he helped him out.  Phupha takes Tian’s hand and tenderly wipes away his tears.  Tian says he feels like his body and heart are splitting in two.  Phupha tries to calm him by asking Tian to reflect on why he came to Phabandao village in the first place.  Tian was silent for a while but then finally answers that he came to fulfill Torfun’s last wish which was to pray to the stars at the end of the year and then confess her love for Phupha on Phabandao cliff.  Phupha says he has misinterpreted Torfun’s words in her diary because, in reality, it says one is supposed to count a thousand stars in the sky and then one’s wish would come true.  Tian asks in surprise that if he does that, will there be a miracle?  Phupha replies he doesn’t know because no one has succeeded in doing it yet.

The next day Longtae looks for Tian.  He’s been told that Tian will be leaving by the end of the year.  Longtae reflects that even if Tian is an impulsive person he was also one of the rather rare and sincere people he’s ever met.  Longtae finds him by the waterfall to the north of the village.  Longtae remarks that Tian looks sullen and asks if Tian wants to go home to Bangkok.  Tian replies that he does.  Longtae jokes that someone must have upset Tian, but seeing Tian’s sad expression he shuts up and then says Tian could rely on him to listen to his problems.  Tian asks if a person exchanged hearts would their mind be absorbed by a hidden memory from the other person’s heart.  Longtae laughs and says that that idea is like something from a sci-fi movie and asks how the heart can have memories?  Hearing Longtae’s opinion, Tian’s mind becomes more clear and he soon reflects that he now thinks of Torfun as merely a dead person and a person that does not have any control of his life.  Tian suddenly grins which spooks Longtae who asks if Tian is all right.  Tian thanks Longtae for his help. 

Longtae tells Tian that Khama has asked him to come to the school at 1 o’clock.  When they arrive he sees the school has now been rebuilt.  He sees the words “Happy New Year” are taped onto the walls, and soon the children run out to hug him.  Tian looks up to the smiling Khama.  Inside the school there is a table laden with pastries, biscuits and a very large chocolate cake.  Everything has been arranged by Khama and Tian reflects that ‘this is the most impressive party of my life,’ even though he’s been to many five-star hotel banquets.  After eating some cake Tian playfully takes some brown butter that was at the bottom of the cake tray and smears it all over Longtae’s face.  The children seeing this soon attack Tian and get cake all over his face.  Tian smiles even as his faces is covered with cake and thinks how he wants to collect all these precious memories before he leaves. 

Tian goes out at night headed for Phabandao cliff.  It’s on a nice sparsely wooded path with some fragrant smelling flowers that have a refreshing scent.  He soon comes to an open space and starts counting the stars.  The stars are beautiful and are densely packed in the sky.  The stars seem very bright and soon he becomes dazzled by them .  Tian starts getting a headache and becomes nauseous.  As soon as he counts more than 500 starts there is a blinding flash of light that makes him cry out in pain. 

Tian tries to revive himself and to renew his determination.  He starts counting again and does better even as a fleeting thought occurs to him that what he’s doing is rather stupid and ridiculous.    The light stings his delicate eyes and Tian feels dizzy but he grits his teeth and continues.  His body nearly falls over but he slaps himself on the cheek to clear his head.  It was as if thousands of stars were moving together in dazzling waves across the night sky.  Tian was panting as he saw success nearly at hand.  He was at 998, and his eyes became hollow and a hot crystal tear suddenly appeared and covered his eye.  He was then at 999.  Suddenly a large hand appeared above his eyes.  Phupha tells Tian, “That’s enough.”  Phupha’s fierce eyes softened sadly and he says, “You’ve done your best.”  Tian is upset and says he didn’t do this for Torfun and that he only did this for himself.  He then says that he doesn’t want to leave the village and he doesn’t want to leave Phupha.  Tian then kisses Phupha.  His body trembled and tensed and he holds onto Phupha for a long time.  In between sobs he tells Phupha that even though it started with Torfun, all his feelings were now his own.  Tian asks Phupha, “If I’m gone, will you forget me?”, Phupha replies, “I’ll never forget you, not even once.”  After a long time Phupha then says, “But when you go back, I want you to forget about me.”  Tian backs away angrily and rebukes Phupha for his suggestion. Phupha tells Tian he should find someone of equal social standing.  Tian then tells him that it is impossible for him to forget Phupha.  Phupha tells him, “Let time be the judge of that.”    They hold on to each other and even though the night was chilly a wave of deep love tied them together and the warmth spreads throughout their hearts.

Dawn finally comes and Tian is greeted by Longtae.  He tells Tian that someone has come to pick him up.  He soon finds it is his friend Tay.  They embrace but Tay soon admonishes Tian for what he’s done.  Tian says that ‘he couldn’t think of any other way’. Tay thanks Khama for looking after Tian.  They walk down the steep slope to get from the village down to the main road and Tian says goodbye to the people of the village.  Unexpectedly he finds the children have also come to say goodbye and they hug Tian while crying their farewell to him.  Seeing this Tay says to Khama that even though he had made his mother sick with worry, that he was glad Tian decided to go to Phabandao village.  Tian notices that Phupha isn’t there to say farewell and reflects that he really did intend for Tian to forget about him.  Tian with red teary eyes waves goodbye to everyone.  Tian grabs Tay’s hand and tries to rush away being embarrassed to show his vulnerability to the children. 

Hello again! You know the drill but for everyone who is new:

A quick heads up for the rewatch of the eighth episode on Synctube:

Here you can find the link on how to start the subtitles on your phone or tablet on synctube: How to activate subtitles and change your username on Synctube - YouTube 

On computer using a browser though you are able to activate the subtitles the same way as on Youtube. Once you activate the subtitles on the first video the following videos will show them automatically.

The video also shows how you can change your user name for the chat. Please use the same user name as the one you use here on MyDramaList so people can recognize you.

Also if you can, please use a computer/laptop/tablet for the rewatch on Synctube. That way you can see the video on the left side of the display and the chat is on the right next to the video. This is the most convenient way. When using the phone it can be a bit inconvenient and also too small, but it also works.

I will share the Synctube link on Friday, around 8 pm Bankok time, so everyone has enough time to enter and change their username. I will start the episode at 08:30 pm Bankok time. Between 08:00 an 8:30 I will drop some of the OSTs of the series in the watch playlist so we have some nice music while waiting for the episode to start - so feel free to already enter around 08:00 pm. :)

See you tomorrow! :)

Thank you!  I do enjoy it.  I do some writing in my spare time and it's fun analyzing the differences.  It's actually quite complex and in this case there are so many valid takes from both the novel and screenplay, but, honestly, the screenplay is mostly better.  This chapter was my favorite of the novel.  I love the line where it says "It was as if thousands of stars were moving together in dazzling waves across the night sky."  I've read a lot but the author, Bacteria, hit upon one of the best images I've ever seen in a novel.  I just love that part.  If you read this section of the novel it just waxed poetic whereas much of the rest of the novel is so humdrum.  The whole chapter is just emotionally and spiritually so much more elevated than the rest, but you can see how she built it up to this point.  Kudos to Bacteria.  I've been a little tough on her, but she is certainly a very cogent inspiration for this series. 

Hello friends!

Click down below to enter the rewatch for episode 8 on Synctube.

Before that don’t forget to check out how the subtitles work on the phone/small tablets and how to change your username, if you didn’t already: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5GkdopVuGE&ab_channel=Sina 
On computer the subtitles just work the same way as on YouTube. 

If you can, please use a laptop/computer or a bigger tablet for the rewatch as it is the most convenient way to watch and chat at the same time. Phone does work, too though.

If you enter the Synctube room and it says “no video” you may have to use a different browser or disable Browser extensions like Ad Blocker.

RULES:

- Please set your username as the one you use here on MyDramaList
- Don’t spam the chat and be nice to each other, please

And last but not least – have fun. :)

Click here to enter >>>> https://sync-tube.de/rooms/txfuSWd83 <<<<

Thank you so much, Kpop, for all those links.     (The music is so beautiful and it brings tears to my eyes.....)    I think the last one (Dream Cave) is my favorite.   It is a sunrise-and-hope kind of melody.

 kpoptrash:

We should figure sth. out to watch after this haha

I would be very much in favor of that!!!   Normally I watch BL series on my own (my husband is seriously not interested) and it is great to have some like-minded people to talk with.   

The hard part might be coming to agreement on which one to watch next.    One obvious candidate would be ITSAY, which is so wonderful in so many ways.   Or Gaya Sa Pelikula (Like in the Movies).  Or if we all want to be just fluffy and light and lovestruck, there's also Boys Lockdown.  

Others:   Please indicate if you'd be interested in this, and which series might grab your interest!!

 kpoptrash:

When Tian and Phu were visiting Torphuns "grave" or dunno how to call that place

The English word for that type of final resting place is "columbarium," which is a pretty specialized word and I think most native English speakers would not know it.   (It comes from the ancient roman word for "dove", as the niches where the ashes are stored resemble the little holes in a dovecote (nest), where the doves go in and stay.)  

 solipsism5:

Thank you!  I do enjoy it.  I do some writing in my spare time and it's fun analyzing the differences.

You are doing a good job in summarizing the novel! I'm looking forward to the next. Thank you!

 kpoptrash:

- At the end when Phu was shot there was also an amazing song playing but I couldn't find it at all :( Shazam didn't do anything and I also couldn't find it on the Spotify playlist.. if anybody knows tell me

Thank you kpop for listing down the music. Here are some of my favorites as it always steers my emotions:

1. Friend or Foe- Johannes Bornlöf

2. One Day Years From Now- Dream Cave

3.  Roots- Jakob Ahlbom

4. Unspeakable Joy- Edgar Hopp

5. Gone- Gavin Luke

6.  Lots of Love, Judy- David Celeste

7. Don't Look Back- Dream Cave

8.   Messages On The Window- Emily Rubye

9.  A Moment to Myself- Jon Björk 

10. Distant Echo & Sphere- Jakob Ahlbom

I have a lot of favorites in episode 10 too which is yet to be discovered. 

 kpoptrash:

I'm up for all of them as I watched and loved them all! So everyone share your thoughts :)

You guys can count me in too. You guys are so fun to do a re-watch with. 

 BraveAppointment1:

The English word for that type of final resting place is "columbarium," which is a pretty specialized word and I think most native English speakers would not know it.   (It comes from the ancient roman word for "dove", as the niches where the ashes are stored resemble the little holes in a dovecote (nest), where the doves go in and stay.)  

It's also called Columbarium in the Philippines.   There's even one for pets here.  How interesting! 

I love this episode but I still stand with what I said that they could have gone away with keeping Torfun's death a secret. The decision to include it is weak and really has no purpose other than to stir more drama that it got too much already and the result is a damp squib for me. It  also made a lot of the audience hate Phupha more for keeping it a secret.  I think we are all in agreement that he shouldn't have confronted Tian in front of the villagers. It is out of his character but quite honestly it is realistic.

He wasn't necessarily the most composed character in the show and he can be resolute and stubborn once he made up his mind. 

In episode 1, his anger over Torfun's death is made apparent and he did say he'll never forgive who ran her over. He is obviously aware of the background of the case including the money involved in settling it.

In episode 2, we've heard Phupha said a lot of harsh things to Tian when he confronted him about Kalae's drowning. KZrocks is right. He can be pretty callous and his words cut deep so no surprise he did it again here.

In episode 4, he asked Tian directly about his relationship with Torfun but he denied knowing her and he believed it. 

Things have progressed significantly between him and Tian since then. The bonus scene where he finally admitted he wants Tian to stay was the biggest indication that he's completely won over. There was no reason to hide their feelings for each other.

So Tian's revelation is nothing short of betrayal.  The way Phupha looked at him  as he walked away after the revelation was full of pain (sad teary eyes).  He was deeply hurting because of all the emotional investments.   So no matter how much people want to punch him, I can't feel the same.  I was once in his position before and it's soul crushing. 

He was not beyond reason though and took a bullet for Tian without hesitation.  

And I'd like to think he'd still do it even if Dr. Nam didn't tell him he's not directly responsible not because of duty but simply because his love for Tian is much stronger. Ok, that's me being romantic :)

I think this episode is the most powerful dramatically.  It borders on melodrama, but I have no problem with it.  I think Tian’s confession to the whole village while being scolded by Phupha is just such a hard thing to take for any normal person.  Tian was cut down so hard it is hard to imagine someone recovering from it for several months, at least.  The naïve trusting villagers accusing him of lying to them had to be incredibly hard on Tian and doing it all together would be overwhelming for almost anyone.  The drama here is absolutely at the maximum – like you would see in a war setting or scene of a genocide.  I really do think it was at that level because of the level of disappointment the villagers had for Tian and because of Tian’s very abrasive rejection by his love interest, Phupha.  This might be the most somber moment in any BL I’ve ever seen, and in a way, the most powerful vehicle for our emotional involvement as well. 

The funereal atmosphere continues for a while Tian walks around the village like a zombie with everyone refusing to acknowledge him.  When he sees Phupha later the look he gives him conveys such hatred, when he says, “Why don’t you just leave.”  You couldn’t imagine your love interest doing that to you.  It would be devastating, and you have to feel so sorry for Tian.  He’s already been through hell and he has to hear this on top of it.  It’s as if Phupha is saying why don’t you die already?  Again, this is such a powerful moving moment like I’ve seen nowhere else in BL.

Finally there is some relief when Khama tells Longtae to basically forgive Tian with the lovely proverb of the caterpillars turning into butterflies.  Longtae seeks Tian out and finally the somber mood is lifted.  And then we are taken into a whole new drama which seems like an antidote to the previous one.  This drama is actually less gripping for me but it is certainly very powerful, albeit in your normal Hollywood kind of way.  Before that, though, Tian’s confession to Longtae reveals that he didn’t actually kill Torfun directly, but it reveals how Tian was willing to take the whole blame for the incident rather than skirting around it.  You have to feel admiration for Tian for taking such a brave stand. 

The following scene with the smugglers is really exciting and I really love how the actor who plays Sakda reveals himself to be just a merciless killer which is such a stark contrast to when he was playing the kindly old gentleman.  Tian reveals himself to be very brave risking death without much thought and risking his life to make sure that Longtae can get away.  One of the most gripping moments occurs when Tian is about to be killed only to get a reprieve.  Shortly afterwards we see Phupha get shot in the back.  Overall, this day and the previous one for Tian should require several months to recover from, but this is one of those fantasy moments in the drama world where magical recoveries are a norm.   I think this episode left me a little emotionally exhausted but in a good way.  I felt its impact like no other BL before and we have to admire the craftsmanship that went into that.