peng-peng:I have seen comments insulting TSJ for not leave his family , not telling grandmother to f oof, but the same is not asked of XL.
Before I get into this, I just want to say I don't hate TSJ and I am mostly pretty satisfied with how the novel ended.
People who criticize TSJ for not dealing with his family issues have a reason for not also criticizing XL for not betraying Gong Gong: it comes down to how they each handle XY's heart and what they ask of her.
While he is engaged to YY, TSJ confesses his feelings to XY, asks XY to reserve her heart for him, and asks her to wait 15 years for him. He promises XY that he will break the engagement and return to her as YSQ. But before he deals with the engagement, they become closer physically and emotionally. After the 15 years have passed, he hasn't broken the engagement (and he moves further away from being YSQ by becoming clan leader), but he still strings XY's heart along. He continues to say sweet things and make promises. They become even closer, and then...
It's a repeat of that horrible moment early on in the drama where YSQ's statements and behaviour start to give XY expectations. She starts to believe she can rely on YSQ, until one moment where she trusts he will show up for her and instead he abandons her. We saw how crushed XY was. She seemed much more affected by that than by being whipped by the Chenrong remnant army soldiers under XL's orders or by being tortured with the flesh-eating bugs under CX's orders. YSQ promised that the same situation would never happen again, but that's exactly what happens with their relationship. TSJ makes promises and behaves in a certain way that gives XY hope and expectations (although she really tries to harden her heart against such hope), but then he fails to keep those promises, which hurts her deeply. I don't blame TSJ for most of the things that hurt XY (not breaking the engagement, becoming clan leader, getting tricked by YY and his grandmother, not being the first person to tell XY what happened, getting married...), but I wish he hadn't given her expectations and then put himself in a position where he couldn't meet them.
XL, on the other hand, has realized they can't be together. XY tells him that he's not someone who should be in her dreams. XY knows she will never betray CX, XL knows that he will never betray Gong Gong, and they are both very aware of the fact that no one would ever accept them being together because of their identities. So he becomes her companion and alleviates her loneliness. He never confesses his feelings. He never asks her to wait for him or to reserve her heart for him. He only ever asks her to heal his injuries and make poisons for him. Instead of asking her to save her heart for him and only him, he accompanies her while she is lonely and waiting for TSJ (and, you know, teaches her archery so she can protect herself and spends 37 years saving her life...), and eventually he starts working to make sure that she and TSJ end up together. He doesn't make promises he can't keep or create expectations he can't meet. When he is FFB, he constantly reminds her that their time together is temporary. When she gets too close, he pushes her away. He just... he spends so much time and effort trying to protect XY's heart.
So on the whole, some people find TSJ's behaviour more frustrating.
Edit: Since this is a YaoJing thread I'll add that obviously TSJ made his promises fully intending to fulfill them and believing that he would, and he would have if it weren't for terrible circumstances that were largely out of his control. And that XY wants someone who is gentle and who isn't able to let her go. Which makes TSJ (and not XL) the right EG for her. Even if he's a bit a frustrating for the viewers sometimes.
Each character has their own flaws. If Tong Hua made Jing too perfect then he would be even more unrealistic. Though I find that XL's sacrifices for XY are even more unrealistic. I think that's why people are attracted to his character. We all wish that someone would be willing to do that for us without asking anything in return. In real life, we would call him a fool. Well, him and Jing are both fools. lol I don't think they'll be good boyfriend material in the modern world. One is too passive and the other just never tell you how he feels. I think I rather pick Cang Xuan in real life as he will be rich. lol
What I don't love about Tong Hua's writing is she seemed to neglect character development for Jing later on. Maybe he was only meant to be a side character to begin with to give XY her happy ending.
Antinh85:Each character has their own flaws. If Tong Hua made Jing too perfect then he would be even more unrealistic.
I was thinking about this during the scene where XY admits to CX that she felt happy when she saw how miserable TSJ was seeing her seemingly unaffected after he got married. If TSJ was too perfect, the readers / viewers might hate XY if she expressed (very human) feelings like that or any time she tried to protect her heart by being cold towards him.
@Antinh85 Yeah, I totally agree. Especially that last bit. I think more of Jing as a life insurance. XL was just: let me get this paperwork in order so when I die my beloved will be taken care of. He paid the regular monthly premiums (always on time, may I add), and there you'll go. The lass will receive her death benefit upon his passing. Oh, joy of joys.
Antinh85:What I don't love about Tong Hua's writing is she seemed to neglect character development for Jing later on. Maybe he was only meant to be a side character to begin with to give XY her happy ending.
Let me add that the TSJ that TH created in the novel is just a catalyst for severing the relationship between CX and XY. She used him as a tool.
A lot of comments on Weibo are saying DW loves TSJ more than the author.
Kali_01:It’s so funny I love LYF, but if this was a normal harem drama there’s no way I’d watch it ? with a male lead and 4 fl chasing after him
I second this. I just want to see another YZ costume drama because I got lazy finishing IS. I did not expect to love this because I have already gone through a lot of reverse harem tropes when I was younger, and it's always the tsundere/cold-hearted male lead type who always gets the heart of the female lead. (Meteor Garden, You're Beautiful, Hana Kimi, Hot Gimmick, Good Morning Call, et al.) There is no exciting factor anymore seeing that kind of ending over and over again. It's a good thing this drama deviates from that kind of ending, which is why I stayed.
His Smile:I second this. I just want to see another YZ costume drama because I got lazy finishing IS. I did not expect to love this because I have already gone through a lot of reverse harem tropes when I was younger, and it's always the tsundere/cold-hearted male lead type who always gets the heart of the female lead. (Meteor Garden, You're Beautiful, Hana Kimi, Hot Gimmick, Good Morning Call, et al.) There is no exciting factor anymore seeing that kind of ending over and over again. It's a good thing this drama deviates from that kind of ending, which is why I stayed.
Yes, same lol especially Meteor Garden with the Boys over Flowers remake .
I think Tong Hua gave each of the guys an ideal quality and a bunch of flaws with one common denominator which is their love for XY. At least they never made her choose one or the other and let her be free to do what she wants. Even her Haoling father and her grandfather, although they are both ruthless emperors they care more about her happiness than any alliance marriage nonsense. Though honestly, i think XY herself is a hotmess too but we as viewers/readers of the novel, love her so much that we look past her flaws and focus on the guys' flaws instead xD
CX- Family
XL- Loyalty
TSL- kindness
FL- friendship? lol (poor guy is barely mentioned)
It's TH's fault to writing Jing to be that way. He's frustratingly nice, that's why he gets bullied. He's like the stereotypical forgotten middle child. But even so I love Jing flaws and all and i love that XY understands Jing and doesn't make him change.
nathsketch:XL was just: let me get this paperwork in order so when I die my beloved will be taken care of.
His Smile:Let me add that the TSJ that TH created in the novel is just a catalyst for severing the relationship between CX and XY. She used him as a tool.
A lot of comments on Weibo are saying DW loves TSJ more than the author.
Poor TSJ is used by so many. By his grandmother to carry her legacy and to fulfill her wishes no matter how horribly it cost him, by CX to gain power, by XY to heal her trauma, by XL to make sure one of XY's outstanding needs was met before he died, by the author to sever the relationship between CX and XY... if he wasn't the one person to get a happy ending with XY he really would be the most tragic of tragic figures.
nathsketch:AH, you explained it perfectly and the more I read and learn about all this, the more I love XL. The unfairness of it all just drives me insane.
<3 Maybe I've already gone insane but I find it all to be rather poetic.
AH :Poor TSJ is used by so many. By his grandmother to carry her legacy and to fulfill her wishes no matter how horribly it cost him, by CX to gain power, by XY to heal her trauma, by XL to make sure one of XY's outstanding needs was met before he died, by the author to sever the relationship between CX and XY... if he wasn't the one person to get a happy ending with XY he really would be the most tragic of tragic figures.
<3 Maybe I've already gone insane but I find it all to be rather poetic.
I've never hated anyone grandmother so much until i met Jing's. I wish she died a painful death like she was supposed to in the novel lol She's really the one to start the toxic cycle in his family. Like if Jing's dad has an affair with a maid then she should've made her a concubine or something, why make Jing's mom raise someone else child that she clearly did not want to do, im pretty sure it was that old woman's idea.
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