H19279:
4 hours ago
 Kokuto:
XY did have feelings for Jing when XL accepted the Love Bug.

No, she didn't have any love/ affection feeling with YQS by the time XL accepted the love bug. XY thought of YQS to accompany her when she agreed with the 15 year promise

XY had the beginning of feelings for YSQ in QS town, even before XL accepted the transferred bug. There was a mix of attraction, pity, hope, desire for and fear of reliance, indescribable feelings, and threads of longing that could not be severed.

Those feelings were strengthened when YSQ tried to help XY escape from CX in chapter 8, after XL accepted the transferred bug. 

Those feelings were strengthened even further in chapter 22, after XY found out that YSQ couldn't bear to live without her. 

Their relationship changed again after XY spoke with Tian Er in chapter 32 (making her realize that a relationship could only be successful if both parties put effort into it) and reconnected with TSJ in chapter 33.

-----

Chapter 1:

So Xiao Liu stopped washing his body and instead prepared a tub so he could take proper baths.

...

Xiao Liu put the cloth next to him and said, “You wash yourself. Your hair isn’t fully grown back yet so don’t scrub so hard.”

Xiao Liu sat to the side and munched on a snack and kept him company.

Perhaps because each scar on his body was a type of shame, the man always kept his head raised and eyes closed so as to not look at his own body. He took the cloth and started washing himself. From the neck down to the chest down to the stomach and finally lower towards his legs.

Xiao Liu’s eyes followed his hand when suddenly he turned to the side and munched loudly on the duck neck, making crunch crunch sounds.

The man’s eyes opened and he looked towards Xiao Liu. The sunlight shone through the window and bathed Xiao Liu in light. His cheeks were red and it was illuminated by the sunlight like a piece of beautiful jade with red spots on it.

Xiao Liu waited until the man was done bathing and carried him out of the tub. Because his leg wasn’t fully healed, usually Xiao Liu helped dress him but today he just put him on the pallet and let go.

The man kept his eyes lowered, one hand on the pallet supporting his body and the other clasping his robe shut. His hands were thin but very long, the newly grown nails white and healthy.

Xiao Liu kept his head lowered and put the robe next to him. “You….you try dressing yourself. If you can’t do it then call me.”

Xiao Liu hurried out of the room but stood by the door listening to the sounds, and when it all sounded normal that’s when he left.

-----

Chapter 2:

Shi Qi had laughter in his eyes and Xiao Liu couldn’t stand the way he always seemed to float above everything so poured him a glass of wine. “Drink it!” Shi Qi took it and gulped it down.

Xiao Liu was startled. “It’s poisoned.”

The laughter in Shi Qi’s eyes never disappeared as his body collapsed softly. Xiao Liu anxiously gave him the antidote and yelled, “You idiot!” while his heart felt this indescribable feeling.

-----

Chapter 3:

He wasn’t angry that Shi Qi let Xuan take the antidote. He was angry because when he relied on someone it was to turn around and discover that person wasn’t there. He was angry at himself for having this pathetic hope

...

Xiao Liu hurried back to his room, the hard shell around his heart already sealed shut again. It was his moment of softened pity that caused him to be confused for a while but now he was back to thinking clear again. Every person arrived alone on this Earth and would depart alone. There was no one to rely on. How much hope and reliance one had today, was how much pain and suffering one would endure down the road. Rather than that happening, it was better to not have it to begin with.

-----

Chapter 8:

The carriage started to move and it was dark and Xiao Liu and Jing were tightly pressed together due to its cramped space. When Xiao Liu went to look for Jing, it was a spur of the moment thing. He wanted to see Jing put in a tight spot, he wanted to hear Jing try to talk him into going to see the Grand Emperor and it was no big deal. Xiao Liu wanted to hear all of this with his own ears, so that he could use this cruel method to cut the final threads of longing in his heart, so that he could leave without a care, so that he could let Wen Xiao Liu vanish forever without any sadness.

But when Xiao Liu said he didn’t want to go and Jing never asked why he would rather risk death to escape than go, nor did he pause to think about his own danger before agreeing to help him escape, the longing in Xiao Liu’s heart expanded instead of being severed.

...

Xiao Liu laughed. “I don’t want to see the Grand Emperor for a different reason. Shi Qi, don’t worry about me, I stake my life on it that the Grand Emperor won’t kill me!”

Shi Qi could tell Xiao Liu was being serious so relaxed. Xiao Liu couldn’t help but secretly smile, every person must feel happy to have another worried about their welfare.

Shi Qi quietly held Xiao Liu and Xiao Liu quietly listened to his heartbeat. In this place of death, separated from the world’s enticements and entanglements, it made the complicated relationship between a man and a woman so very simple. It was just him and her. Xiao Liu suddenly felt right being here and that was calming.

Xiao Liu said, “How about we never leave here.”

“Fine.”

...

“Just you. And me.”

Xiao Liu laughed knowing that Shi Qi also understood. There was so much that made life complicated purely due to circumstance. The old married couple living in the far off secluded mountains, they were actually the envy of so many who live glamorous lives of conflict.

...

He said, “The first time I bathed after I was strong enough, you sat to the side and I saw…..when you saw my body…..I knew you…..to me…..”

Xiao Liu yelped and then covered her face. “You’re lying! I didn’t, I didn’t!”

“I’m not lying.”

“You’re lying, it’s totally a lie. I never blush.

...

Xiao Liu had long forgotten to be angry and slowly turned around and rested her head on Shi Qi’s shoulder to listen to him talk. Shi Qi’s forehead was resting on Xiao Liu’s hair. “I couldn’t open my eyes so I couldn’t see you. I could only sense. You didn’t want me to be afraid so you told me your name. You didn’t want me to be shamed so you told me jokes. You lightly wiped away my sweat and held me in your embrace and washed my hair which hadn’t been washed in three years. I knew how disgusting and horrific my body was, but you treated it like a treasure and tended to it with care. The three years of torture and degradation, the body even I couldn’t face and I couldn’t bear to walk out the door. That day you helped me bathe and when you saw my body you blushed beet red. In that instant I was truly reborn. In your eyes, I was still a man…..a man who affected you…”

Xiao Liu yelled, “Don’t you dare say another word!”

Shi Qi’s eyes misted with tears and it splashed on Xiao Liu’s hair, but his voice was filled with mirth. “When you carried me out of the tub, you didn’t even dare look directly at me before placing me on the pallet. You ran off even before you were done talking. How could I ever think you were a man?”

-----

Chapter 10:

“Everyone can appreciate a beautiful exterior, if I am the only one who can admire your beautiful interior then I’m happy.”

Xiao Liu felt her face redden and her heart beat faster. Shi Qi lately was the type who chose not to say much, but whenever he said something he had her feel totally off-kilter.

...

Xiao Liu lightly shook their hands and softly said, “Don’t worry and go. Fifteen years, I’ll wait for you.” Since that connection and longing couldn’t be severed, then let it remain for fifteen years. After that fifteen years, whether the thread would disappear or become a web, no one knows.

-----

Chapter 14:

Xiao Yao snuck a peek at Jing from under her veil. Jing sensed it and he lowered his eyes and smiled. Xiao Yao also smiled, even if she couldn’t talk to him or stand too close, but their hearts were aligned together and felt very close.

-----

Chapter 22:

Xiao Yao turned to look at Jing and murmured, “You really are so broken over me that you are seeking death?”

Xiao Yao felt the shell around her heart shatter completely. All those threads that she tried to cut all those times finally weaved together into a web at last.

-----

Chapter 27:

Xiao Yao was silent and softly said, “No, when I see him looking so devastated it actually makes me a little bit happy. If he was like me, smiling and unaffected, then I would feel worse.” Xiao Yao sighed “I know it’s all over and I want to forget him as soon as possible, and I can say we are just nothing to each other, but deep down inside I don’t want him to forget me. I act like I don’t care but I won’t allow him not to care. If he doesn’t care this soon then I’ll hate him forever……….” Xiao Yao shook her head. “Am I really sick to think this?”

Zhuan Xu listened and then said, “You’re not sick, you just loved him for real.” He smiled sadly “Xiao Yao, I really regret it now. If it wasn’t for me wanting so badly to get the support of Tu Shan Jing, then none of this would have happened.”

Xiao Yao walked up to him. “Did you forget? I saved him before you even showed up.

But you didn’t love him then. I’m the one who not only gave him the chance, I even created opportunities for him so that he could get closer to you step by step.”

It really was due to Zhuan Xu that she and Jing got to this point today – if it wasn’t for Zhuan Xu capturing her, she wouldn’t have asked Jing for help, she would have just switched her face and disappeared one day. If Zhuan Xu hadn’t locked them in the jail, Jing wouldn’t have asked for a fifteen year promise. If Zhuan Xu didn’t need Jing, she wouldn’t have gone back to see Jing that day because she had already severed the ties……

Xiao Yao pushed Zhuan Xu out and said with a smile, “What happened between Jing and I, you merely created the opportunity, but I don’t regret liking him so why do you need to feel bad? Don’t worry, time will heal everything and I just need more time to forget him.”

-----

Chapter 33:

Xiao Yao said, “Fang Feng Yi Yang was always polite and well-mannered in front of you, gentle and sweet, but I knew from the very beginning that she was calculating and deadly. I also knew you were soft-hearted and felt apologetic to her. Fang Feng Yi Yang was sure to use your personality and your regret against you. But I did nothing, I didn’t even warn you. I stood to the side and watched. My childhood made me pessimistic about human emotions. I felt like nothing will last forever and no one can be relied on. I never truly believed in you and I didn’t want to make the effort first. So when what I expected happened, I felt like it was exactly as I predicted. I knew people can’t be trusted. But I didn’t know that what we put in is what we get back. We need to make the effort to achieve the ending we want. Xan Tian Er said that if I never planted the seeds and tilled the field, how can I expect to reap the crop in the end?”

There were tears in Xiao Yao’s eyes. “Every night I thought about the fault and knew that I was wrong. My own pessimistic personality and attitude, my own distrust of others, it caused me to lose the man I like. If I made a bit more effort, said more or did more, perhaps the result would be completely different. Zhuan Xu thought I couldn’t get over it because I hated you, but in truth it’s because I can’t forgive myself. Jing, you shouldn’t feel guilty anymore. The world thinks we’re both very smart and calculating but when it came to our feelings and relationship, we both made mistakes. A person can make mistakes that can be fixed, other times it can never be fixed…….”

@liddi

Thank you, liddi. This part I like and the flashbacks are well picked! 

@AH

I am curious though how do you interpret the convo XY had with Jing about TianEr and Chuanzi. 

"Xiao Liu leaned on his crutches and watched them from a distance with Shi Qi beside him. Xiao Liu started nattering “This is actually an interesting gamble. Tian Er doesn’t believe Chuan Zi will want to be with her forever so right now she’s giving him all fake affection. But the more Tian Er is nice to him, the more Chuan Zi is nicer to her. The fake affection will gradually be mixed with real feeling, and as a lifetime passes even the false becomes true."

@AH, 

have you read the notes about writing style and technique in LYF. What did Tong Hua hint for readers how to read the book?

Windiaaa041293 made a very informative collection about that

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/121043-about-long-lovesickness-yaoliu

maybe you miss some because of some inactive period 

 H19279:
I remember you used to say that if her love for XL unchanged then it still fulfilled the requirement of the bug. However, you believe it's still possible to love other one.

Yes, I believe it is possible for XY to have romantic love for XL in her heart and for that love to remain in her heart, as required by the bug, while also having romantic love for another person (TSJ) in her heart at the same time. 

Earlier in this thread, I think we once touched on the question of what constitutes romantic love. How is it different from platonic love? Where is the dividing line? How is it different from lesser forms of romantic affection (e.g., "liking" that does not rise to the level of "loving")? Sometimes the difference is very unclear.

 H19279:
I think some of us believed something similar, the only difference that whole heart is devoted for that one love. And action generated from rational mind may not trigger the back-fire of the bug. 

Action generated from rational mind? As in, your interpretation is that one cannot have romantic love for more than one person, and XY's feelings for TSJ are something less than romantic love, so when XY kisses TSJ or wants to marry him, those are things she does with a "rational mind" that would not be viewed as threatening the romantic love she exclusively felt for XL?

 H19279:
Actually the more I read, the more I found the feeling XY for Jing was not love from heart.

While I view her feelings for XL and her feelings for TSJ as quite different, I still view both of them as constituting romantic love to varying degrees at different points in the story. 

I know that's not a very common interpretation in the fandom. ^^"

 H19279:
The sorrow and depression that she suffered from chapter 25 till chapter 31 was from whom?

XL helped XY alleviate the pain she felt because of TSJ in chapter 25 and chapter 26. 

In chapter 27, XY had a nightmare that ended with her waking up in tears. It began with TSJ holding his baby, and ended with approachable FFB turning into unapproachable XL. 

When XY spoke to Feng Long about their engagement in chapter 28, she told him that she wanted a home and only he was willing to give one to her. The one with the feelings had no ability (TSJ), and the one with the ability had (in her view) no feelings (XL). 

In chapter 29, when the Yellow Emperor tells XY to be more impetuous and to do what she wants, she tells him that she doesn't dare do so because of him and CX. Her bloodline ties her down. She asks him: if she told him that she was going to find XL to play with him, would he agree? And the Yellow Emperor tells her that he would not agree. Later, she meets TSJ in the street on a bad day and runs away fighting back tears, telling herself that losing a man wasn't anything. She could still live well. Then she meets FFB in the gambling den, and he takes her out to dinner. When they part at the end of the night... it feels like a shift. XY had been seeing less and less of him, and this parting felt very intense. 

I recall pointing out a long, long time ago in this thread that XY's deep depression really began after she parted with XL.

@H19279

"I remember you used to say that if her love for XL unchanged then it still fulfilled the requirement of the bug. However, you believe it's still possible to love other one."

With or without bugs, IMO it is impossible to love 2 people at the same time, there is no way. You can be torn between 2 people or 2 choices for different reasons, but no one loves 2 people at once, this thing doesn't exist, it is impossible. You can like 2 people, get attached to, even getting some butterflies în your stomach, but love is much more than that. 

 windiaaa041293:

Wasn't the Voodoo king's explanation very clear.
You claim that you gave your heart to Jing, but you planted lover Gu with someone else. Then why are you still alive?
Look how panicked the Voodoo king is.

without any additions from the drama series, I think the scene with the voodo king is very clear.

The Voodoo King was initially shocked and later perplexed. It didn't seem like he was ever panicked. 

XY doesn't claim that she gave her heart to TSJ in front of the Voodoo King. Koala's translation specifies that "it was clear that the young man sitting beside Xiao Yao was clearly her beloved". Unless that translation is very off, it was simply apparent to the Voodoo King that TSJ was XY's beloved. 

So the Voodoo King was shocked that the man in whom XY had planted the Lovers' Bug was not the man beside her (TSJ), who was clearly her beloved. 

Not Lovers produce the Heartbreak Bug, and the recipient must willingly accept the bug. If the other man was not XY's lover, how did she successfully plant the bug in him in the first place? And how did their bugs not turn into Heartbreak Bugs?

The Voodoo King might have asked XY about her feelings for this other man, if TSJ hadn't been beside her. Even if he could have asked, he likely wouldn't have gotten the real answer. 

If he could have sat XL down and somehow compelled him to tell the truth, then perhaps he could've gotten the real explanation. Although XY and XL were not lovers in the sense that they were not in a relationship and had not even openly declared their feelings for each other, they were still two people who had love in their hearts for each other. And in that sense XL was XY's lover, which is why he willingly accepted the bug and why their bugs did not turn into Heartbreak Bugs. 

-----

Chapter 37:

The Voodoo King continued, “Se Mai Er mentioned that you wanted to know how to break the Lover’s Bug voodoo spell?”

Xiao Yao quickly glanced at Jing and acted nonchalant. “When I placed the voodoo bug I didn’t know it had such a weird name.”

Jing smiled. “It’s just a name, why are you in a rush to explain?”

Xiao Yao quickly said, “Yes, yes! It’s just a name.”

The Voodoo King coughed once and solemnly explained, “Lover’s Bug, like its name indicates, is a pair of male-female voodoo bugs. The couple who has the bug successfully planted will have their life and emotions connected. If one hurts then the other will hurt. If one is injured then the other will also be injured.”

Xiao Yao said, “This I know already. What else?”

“To outsiders voodoo is considered mysterious and bad, but really it's a craft and magic that the Jiu Li tribe has passed down through generations to protect and heal us. Jiu Li has lots of deadly insects, deadly plants, deadly gasses, to live here our ancestors had to learn to understand it and control it. Voodoo is seen as a harmful power but we actually mostly use it here to save lives. The Lover’s Bug keeps two people’s lives connected, which means when one is injured as long as the other is healthy then the injured person will survive. This is a very good thing. Even if the Lover’s Bug is notoriously hard to grow, it ought to still be relatively prevalent since many people will try to grow it. So why it is so rare to see?”

Xiao Yao asked, “Why?”

“All living things that have a benefit must also carry a harm. The greater the benefit then the greater the potential for harm. The Lover’s Bug is exactly that. It can lead two people to be connected in life and emotions but it is just like a pair of lovers in love with each other. It is tempermental and hard to control. If the Lover’s Bug turns on each other then both people will die. Which is why the Lover’s Bug also has another name, the Heartbreak Bug.”

Jing stared in dismay at Xiao Yao who quickly said, “It can’t be as scary as he makes it out to be. It’s been over seventy years and I’m still just fine.”

The Voodoo King’s expression changed as he stared at Jing, “You’re not the man the other bug is planted in?”

“No.”

The Voodoo King stared in shock at Xiao Yao. “Can I feel the bug in you?”

Xiao Yao nodded.

The Voodoo King didn’t move so he was likely using a bug inside of himself to sense. He furrowed his brows and murmured, “It really is a Lover’s Bug! But how is this possible? ‘Lovers who raise the bug produce the Lover’s Bug, Not Lovers who raise the bug produce the Heartbreak Bug.’ The Lover’s Bug is different then other voodoo bugs and absolutely requires the couple to willingly accept the bug for it to be successfully planted. If the man you successfully planted the other bug in is not your lover, then how did you plant it in him?

Xiao Yao said “You might not know as much as your ancestors, the bug could be more multi-facted and evolving in ways beyond your understanding.”

The Voodoo King was still perplexed. But it was clear that the young man sitting beside Xiao Yao was clearly her beloved so the rest of what he wanted to say wasn’t suitable for discussing at this time. He smoothed things over. “Miss you are likely right, the bug inside of you is different than other bugs. Likely Miss and the other man have very unique bodily compositions.”

Xiao Yao inwardly sighed in relief “He is very unique!” Since the bug was planted, only Xiang Liu could sense her but she could never sense him.

Jing anxiously asked, “How to break the spell?”

The Voodoo King’s face scrunched up. “The Lover’s Bug – either live in love or die in heartbreak. Once the Lover’s Bug has been planted there is no way to break the spell. It is impossible. This is what I was trying to say earlier for why so few people raise it despite the great benefit. Only very determined girls would raise the bug but even if they successfully raise it, it’s near impossible to find a man willing to accept the other bug to be planted in him.”

Jing was stunned and after a moment of silence he slowly asked “What happens if one person who has the Lover’s Bug dies? What happens to the other person?”

The Voodoo King sighed “Our Jiu Li folk ballad sings ‘The twisted roots of the parasol tree entwine on land, the doves do not fly alone in the sky, the pair of mandarin ducks in the water always die together.'”

Jing stared at Xiao Yao and tightly grabbed her hand.

Xiao Yao smiled at him and made a joke face. “Don’t worry! We don’t need to believe everything the Voodoo King says. Don’t forget, he said that only in a pair of lovers in love could the bug be successfully planted. I don’t have any relationship with Xiang Liu, but we still successfully planted the bug. The Voodoo King also said the spell couldn’t be broken once the bug was planted but don’t forget that I planted the bug first in Zhuan Xu before Xiang Liu helped me break the spell and move the bug to himself.”

 blabla100:

@H19279

"I remember you used to say that if her love for XL unchanged then it still fulfilled the requirement of the bug. However, you believe it's still possible to love other one."

With or without bugs, IMO it is impossible to love 2 people at the same time, there is no way. You can be torn between 2 people or 2 choices for different reasons, but no one loves 2 people at once, this thing doesn't exist, it is impossible. You can like 2 people, get attached to, even getting some butterflies în your stomach, but love is much more than that. 

Yes, of course it exists.  Just as in LYF's society, many cultures throughout history and even now, practice polygamy.  Granted, marriage doesn't require love, either in single or multiple spouses.

 AH :
While I view her feelings for XL and her feelings for TSJ as quite different, I still view both of them as constituting romantic love to varying degrees at different points in the story.

I know that's not a very common interpretation in the fandom. ^^"

yes, everyone has different difinition of love. In this novel the bug has it own difinition. The fact that the bugs found their nest in lovers' heart, the fact that both of them was ok for over 100 years implied that despite his pushing away, she still love him wholeheartedly and despite her itimate actions with Jing, the bug did not regard it as betrayal since it did come from her heart.


 AH :
I recall pointing out a long, long time ago in this thread that XY's deep depression really began after she parted with XL

and if you recall her emotion dialogue with CX about her mood and behavior condition in chapter 29, all and all she just mentioned Jing there. 

As someone written, XL was her poison and Jing was the antidote; XL caused her pain, she would come to Jing since he was the pain-relieave. Desire, emotion that XL brought to her but she could not do anything, she applied it on Jing. Most of her emotional line, acitivities with Jing was followed by an event with XL. 

In the novel, there are million hint and hidden gems scattered everywhere. What we read, what we see sometimes just an illusion. For example in the very private meeting with Jing at night in Xuan Yuan, her room had nothing suitable for his hobby (only poinson),the talked about their relationship, she tried to help him with his issue of spy; she gave him 4 hankerchieves to paints. She wanted him to paint lotus and butterfly which are all related to XL, other two, she didn't care. Then he drew the beach of dragon bone prison and peach blossom refecting the promise and herself (2 most important for him). She plays with his hair, talking about using hibiscus leaves to clean his hair. Again this one connected to FFB. XY is similar to CX, kept her real love deep inside her heart secretly. When she had to vent the sorrow out during talk with someone else, she took the name Jing to cover her serect lover. XY had mouthful of lies as XL said. 

Moreover, Kaola translation sometimes ignored some lines and missed the hints because sometimes those words or line are very out of sync. For example the song that she sang after coma for 10 days due to injury by XL. Kaola didn't translate and include it. Reading full poems, you will see that she missed her lover and chose Jing to relieave her sorrow, her pain due to longing her man (Chapter 6). She might start loving XL in the event of observing the full moon on the sea. With YSQ she kept kind of elvaluating, testing if he was committed. And her feeling for him started from the stance between patient and savior. She felt responsible for him, could not get rid of him because she had saved him. And blush on the face when seeing his naked body is quite normal for girls. Thus I don't regard her feeling for YSQ as romantic feeling or like or love. YSQ met her requirement for accompany and she took it into account. 

So odd. These parts here:

 AH :
Zhuan Xu listened and then said, “You’re not sick, you just loved him for real.”


 AH :
“But you didn’t love him then. I’m the one who not only gave him the chance, I even created opportunities for him so that he could get closer to you step by step.”


 AH :
The Voodoo King was still perplexed. But it was clear that the young man sitting beside Xiao Yao was clearly her beloved

Is it always like this in the novel? Third parties referring to it as love, except for Xiao Yao?

Because...

 AH :
“What happened between Jing and I, you merely created the opportunity, but I don’t regret liking him


 AH :
“Every night I thought about the fault and knew that I was wrong. My own pessimistic personality and attitude, my own distrust of others, it caused me to lose the man I like.

Like and love are vastly different things. We have already discussed this here when we were talking about 爱 e 喜欢. Interesting choice of words for her to be using.

Does she ever say "the man I love" or something? I used to believe that she loves them both, but the more I read this thread... The girl seems to be in so much denial.

 AH :
Xiao Yao smiled at him and made a joke face. “Don’t worry! We don’t need to believe everything the Voodoo King says. Don’t forget, he said that only in a pair of lovers in love could the bug be successfully planted. I don’t have any relationship with Xiang Liu, but we still successfully planted the bug.

And yet it was successfully planted as she said herself. But sure Xiao Yao, keep lying to yourself and to others, girl. Also, does she think Jing is that stupid? Is he? Rhetorical question :)

 H19279:
Thus I don't regard her feeling for YSQ as romantic feeling or like or love. YSQ met her requirement for accompany and she took it into account.

THIS.

Re-reading the Voodoo scene again, I belive the key word is lover / beloved. Once again I am leaning to belive that he is dismissing the possibility of having 2 loved ones. I also don't really read  Voodoo king's use of "beloved" as his aknowledgment of XY-Jing love, rather as an inconvenience for saying more. Regardless if their relationship is fake or not, it's still not proper to discuss this topic în front of Jing, as long as they came to see the Voodoo king posing as a couple. 

"If the man you successfully planted the other bug in is not your lover, then how did you plant it in him?

... 

But it was clear that the young man sitting beside Xiao Yao was clearly her beloved so the rest of what he wanted to say wasn’t suitable for discussing at this time.

 liddi:
We finally reach the death scene, which incorporates his internal monologue from the epilogue, with minor changes to make up for the chart of the ocean not being adapted in the drama.

I have read the narration of this scene in the novel countless times in the past, but revisiting it after the leaked scenes of the Shen Nong army brings fresh tears to my eyes. What the leaked script did well was to give a voice to Hong Jiang and the previously faceless Shen Nong soldiers, providing glimpses into their lives, leading up to the last day, so much so that now their deaths hurt that much more.

And Xiang Liu's death will never not hurt.

Waaaaaugh!

 nathsketch:
So odd. These parts here:

 AH :
Zhuan Xu listened and then said, “You’re not sick, you just loved him for real.”


 AH :
“But you didn’t love him then. I’m the one who not only gave him the chance, I even created opportunities for him so that he could get closer to you step by step.”

this is what we just mentioned above, her depression started from XL and XY used Jing as excuse when talking with CX.

 AH :
In chapter 29, when the Yellow Emperor tells XY to be more impetuous and to do what she wants, she tells him that she doesn't dare do so because of him and CX. Her bloodline ties her down. She asks him: if she told him that she was going to find XL to play with him, would he agree? And the Yellow Emperor tells her that he would not agree. Later, she meets TSJ in the street on a bad day and runs away fighting back tears, telling herself that losing a man wasn't anything. She could still live well. Then she meets FFB in the gambling den, and he takes her out to dinner. When they part at the end of the night... it feels like a shift. XY had been seeing less and less of him, and this parting felt very intense. 

I recall pointing out a long, long time ago in this thread that XY's deep depression really began after she parted with XL.

Actually this paint was deepened again in chapter 31 when her grandfather asked her about FFB, she depression got to the next level (even stop making poison, do nothing) after recovery in Gaoxin for 13 month. She mentioned this pained again in chapter 41 when talking with other doctors how study medicine helped her through the deep depression (again Kaola did not include it)

Now I am thinking if the reason why XY recorded XL's face in her mirror was the same as Jing's when he asked WXL to let him see her real face. She was also quite worried about XL's real face în chapter 19, if I am not mistaken. Worried that that might not be his real face.  Also  there is that scene when she is all happy that she was able to recognize XL after chasing him în the casino. Jing wanted to see her real face because he thought he won't ever be able to find her again unless he sees her real face.

 liddi:
Xiang Liu's face was peaceful, his eyes downcast with lips curved in a faint smile, gazing at something between his fingers. A spotless, crystal-clear pearl was held between his fingers, his eyes filled with tenderness.

Although I like this scene - he cherished the pearl made from her tear, I dislike the next scene the pearl converted to string of tear drop on his face. It is like he collected her tear (in other event) to cry for his death


 liddi:
Xiang Liu's body slowly collapsed, and the pearl between his fingers transformed into a string of tears, falling down drop by drop on Xiang Liu's face.