Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 plor20:

Ohhhhh...I have so much to talk about the symbolic meaning of Chi You's home...hopefully when I have time to finish my thoughts the conversation haven't shifted gears.

Interested in reading once you can share :-)

Things have slowed down significantly, we used to average posts in the double digits from the time that I go to bed and wake up the next moring.  It will probably pick up again once Season 2 hits so this is actually a good time to catch-up on the reading of the thread :-)

Just saw some cute xiang liu arts. Artists are amazing! ❤ Man, I came for another character but fell hard for him. I thought. maybe this is like another drama, but pretty surprised its much different. 

MAJOR SPOILER...

I realized, Xiao yao biggest fear was of being lonely and abandoned. So, what was more important to Xiang liu was that he was there when she was lonely and that he could leave without her feeling abandoned. One of many heartbreaking moments, how desperately Xiang liu try to keep their heartbeating when she was announced dead. Its not like anyone ever understood XL, a poor escaped orphan slave, who suffered harsh life, was always misunderstood just cause he's a demon. Its impossible to forget him. Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever. He is loyalty and love proved to be more worthy than human.

 Kimiya78:

What is XL's intention to have XY transfer the poison bug to his body !?

The text does not provide a definitive answer and there are many different theories. 

Personally, I view it on a few levels:

(1) XL wanted to help WXL get the bug out of CX. While the bug was in CX, it was dangerous to WXL in a few ways. 

 First, people might end up hurting or even killing WXL in an effort to hurt and kill CX through the bug connection (similar to how XL used the connection to stun WXL which in turn stunned CX so that FFYY could try to kill him, but potentially with more harm to WXL in the process). 

Second, WXL might hurt herself with her efforts to remove the bug from CX (XL tells her, “If you don’t want to die, then don’t try calling it back. The only solution is to find a way to transfer the bug to another person.”).

Third, if she failed to remove the bug from CX before CX left QS town, he might imprison her / take her away from QS town / start to threaten the people she cared about. 

And maybe there were other potential concerns for Lovers' Bugs that weren't planted properly that we don't know about. XL said the bug wasn't planted successfully in CX, but some kind of connection was established. CX did feel WXL's pain through a bug connection. That being the case... if CX was killed while the bug was still in him, maybe that could cause WXL harm? We don't know enough about that type of bug connection (where a limited connection is established but the bug isn't planted successfully) to know what the potential risks were. And XL didn't know that CX and WXL had love in their hearts for each other (even they weren't really aware of it at the time when WXL planted the bug in CX, since they didn't recognize each other), and perhaps there was a reason for XL to worry that the bugs might still end up turning into Heartbreak Bugs? Although I think that last part is unlikely. The bug that was unsuccessfully planted in CX was in him for a fair bit of time. If the bugs hadn't already turned into Heartbreak Bugs by the time XL suggested the transfer, it seems unlikely that they would turn into Heartbreak Bugs later on. 

(2) Transferring the bug from CX to XL would allow XL to be closer to, better understand, and better protect WXL.

Once the bug was transferred to XL, he could feel WXL's emotions. That made it easier for XL to understand her. The bug connection also maximized his ability to comfort her when she was lonely or feeling heartache. In addition to knowing about her feelings, he could use the bug connection to make her feel that she was not bearing her difficult emotions alone, and he could speed up her heartbeat to distract her from her heartache. 

The bug connection also allowed XL to feel WXL's physical pain, so he would know when she was injured, including when she was injured because she was in danger. Which would allow him to find her and protect her faster. And if she was critically injured to the point of being on the brink of death, he could use the bug connection (in combination with his essential blood and extra lives) to keep her alive. 

We know from XL's epilogue that he had consciously appointed himself as WXL/XY's protector. So it would be strange if this aspect of the bug connection (its ability to help him protect WXL) wasn't among his reasons for suggesting and accepting the transfer.

Even if XL already planned to die on the battlefield with the remnant army one day (in the distant future) by the time he accepted the bug transfer (I believe that was always his intention), he might have already known by that point that he could do what he ended up doing in chapter 48 - i.e., he could use one of his extra lives to lure out and kill the bugs, breaking the bug connection without harming XY before his final battle. Meaning that he could tie his life to XY's (by accepting the bug transfer) AND die on the battlefield later (after breaking the bug connection) without putting XY's life at risk. 

(3) The bug connection and the debt / promise he extracted from WXL would give XL another tie / excuse (on top of their poison requesting and making relationship) to see WXL and to protect WXL.

For example, in chapter 8 XL goes to Five Gods Mountain and offers to rescue WXL. In that conversation, he reminds WXL that she can't pay back her debt if she's dead. The promise / debt serves as XL's excuse for traveling thousands of miles and taking the risk to offer to try to rescue her.

And in chapter 13, when XL meets XY for the first time after she regains her true form and she tells him that she was planning on pretending to not know him if she ever saw him again, he says that the bug is still in him and asks if she was planning to renege on her promise. The implication being that, while her debt remains unpaid, she is morally obligated to not disappear and never see him again.

(4) No one else was in a better position to accept the bug. 

According to XL, it was impossible to just remove the bug from CX and it could only be transferred from CX to someone who met the necessary criteria. We know that the most important criteria (which XL talks about in chapter 48) is that the transfer recipient must willingly accept the bug. The other criteria seems to be that the recipient must have love in their heart for the host (and XL must have been self-aware enough to know that he had love in his heart for WXL by that point) and that the host must have love in their heart for the recipient (and to the extent that this was one of the criteria, I guess XL felt that WXL had the necessary feelings too).

XL would have been well aware of TSJ's feelings for WXL. But even if he thought that TSJ met all the criteria to have the bug be successfully transferred from CX to TSJ, that would be a less ideal outcome for several reasons.

First, TSJ had a target on his back. Hou wanted to be clan leader, and TSJ wasn't willing to kill Hou to take revenge for what Hou had done to him or to protect himself from future danger. And TSJ didn't have multiple lives to spare the way XL did (and since XL sacrificed a life to save XY's life in chapter 22, we know that XL losing one of his lives would not result in XY dying - presumably she would only die if XL lost all nine of his lives while the bugs were still connecting them). If Hou ended up killing TSJ after the bug was transferred to him, that would end up killing WXL too. 

Second, TSJ had already shown that he couldn't be trusted to reliably protect WXL, and although he had a decent amount of spiritual power at that point in the story, he didn't have nearly as much spiritual power as XL. In terms of protecting WXL from immediate danger, XL was the better option. And TSJ wouldn't need the bug connection in order to use his other strengths (e.g., his clan's wealth and influence) to continue helping WXL (e.g., by procuring rare and expensive medicine for her after she was injured). 

Third, I don't think XL was willing to play cupid for WXL and TSJ at that point in the story. I think that changed around chapter 22, long after the bug transfer decision. Plus... even if things had been different and he had started pushing WLX to be with TSJ much earlier in the story... it would still be very difficult for anyone, XL included, to give up the opportunity to have such a connection to the person you love and such insight into their heart and feelings and to instead give that opportunity to a rival love interest. Especially someone in TSJ's position (engaged to another woman and held back by a gentle heart and family obligations). And if it all worked out, it would likely lead to WXL drifting away from XL and possibly even leaving QS town to go live in Qing Qiu.

And then there would be the whole matter of how to arrange for the bug to be transferred from CX to TSJ... that would likely require a few awkward conversations about why TSJ was a potential candidate (he wasn't a full demon like XL was / he would feel 100% of WXL's pain instead of 1/9th of her pain the way XL would... so why him?). Then WXL would have to agree to make the transfer based on the information she had at the time. Whether she thought the bugs only transferred pain (something she wouldn't want to inflict on TSJ) or XL gave her more details about the true nature of the bugs (possibly making her aware that transferring the bug to TSJ would mean tying their lives and hearts together and exposing her emotions to him), either way I'm not sure WXL would have agreed to transfer the bug to TSJ at that point. 

 Kimiya78:

And another ambiguity which is in the kissing scene did he really helped her to breathe or sth else was going on?

He did help her breath, but in the censored film language of costume Cdramas, it is a romantic kiss. If you watch any amount of costume Cdramas, you'll see the air breathing 'kiss' in many of them.  That's because 'proper' respectable unmarried people don't kiss, simply because they are attracted.  The underwater kiss, the medicine kiss, etc. are ways to circumvent those strictures and progress the romance.

 Kimiya78:

After been watching the drama for many times (seriously cannot start another drama , cuz I'm stuck with XL ♡and unfotunately this issue hasn't happened to me in my entire life :I)

I totally understand.  I'm new to Cdramas, but after watching LYF, I couldn't move one and watch anything else.  It took me a while to finish up the dramas I had dropped when I started watching LYF.  Even now, I don't watch as many shows, when I can rewatch LYF clips or some other Tan Jian Ci show.  lol

 Devlin8:

I realized, Xiao yao biggest fear was of being lonely and abandoned. So, what was more important to Xiang liu was that he was there when she was lonely and that he could leave without her feeling abandoned. One of many heartbreaking moments, how desperately Xiang liu try to keep their heartbeating when she was announced dead. Its not like anyone ever understood XL, a poor escaped orphan slave, who suffered harsh life, was always misunderstood just cause he's a demon. Its impossible to forget him. Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever. He is loyalty and love proved to be more worthy than human.

I agree.  I'm so glad you picked up on what XL was attempting to do once WXL became the princess XY and rejected him.  We go back and forth on exactly when XY decided he was going to have to leave her, but his interactions with XY in the later half were pretty much driven by that.

Like others I wished XL had saved at least one of his lives for himself, but I do accept the choice he made in the end.  sniff

And welcome to the thread!

 H19279:

The word 知音 was actually used in both drama and the novel. 知己 is synonym of 知音.

Thanks @H19279 and @AH for the discussion on these two words. Zhiji is more commonly seen if you watch any Chinese series, while zhiyin is a bit rarer. I want to add a little bit to this discussion. 

With time, maybe zhiji and zhiyin start to be used interchangeably - language is incredibly dynamic - however, they didn't start as synonymous. There is a Vietnamese proverb (bad translation incoming :-)) - "In 100 years it's difficult to find a zhiji, it's difficult to meet a zhiyin, it's difficult to be acquainted with a kind friend ". Through this proverb, we can see that they are two different ideas. By the same token, they are also different from the idea of a "friend". Zhiyin and zhiji tend to go together and are seen as highly desirable to have.

@AH already posted the story of Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi that demonstrated the idea of zhiyin. The story that I often came across that illustrated the idea of zhiji is Bao Shuya and Guan Zhong. Guan was reported to have said: "My parents gave birth to me, but it is Bao who knows me best." https://english.news.cn/20220107/6c390fa34bd74b42be0d16c5c5b638b1/c.html

The difficulty with translating these terms is not just the limitation of the English language, but also trying to capture the cultural ideas that are embedded behind these terms. One of the links that @AH provided talked about the importance of "knowing/understanding" in Chinese culture vs. the Western ideas of romantic love being the highest form of relationship etc.

If you've watched enough CDramas then you would have come across examples of two people (usually 2 men) who are each other zhiji. These people may be married, but often it's their zhiji who "knows" them even better than their spouses. Zhiji can also be used between a man and a woman, usually with extra prefixes added. In Vietnamese, it's "hồng nhan tri kỷ". Trị kỷ = zhiji and hồng nhan translates roughly to "rouge appearance" to denote that the zhiji is a woman. In Bu Bu Jin Xin, 13th prince referred to his lover, Luwu as his "hồng nhan tri kỷ". 

My understanding of these words is that zhiji is someone who knows you - you're personality, why you do what you do, your strengths and weaknesses. Zhiyin, on the other hand, has more of an emotional aspect - someone who is emotionally attuned to you. I think it comes from the idea that music can convey a person's inner thoughts/emotions - if someone feels down and is burdened with worries, the music they play will convey this turmoil vs. when they feel happy etc. Much like Ziqi can hear from Boya's music when he's contemplating a majestic mountain or river. 

In LYF, the poisons that XY made each contain her thoughts, mood and emotions. When XL consume them, not only is he appreciating her talent as only he, her zhiyin in this can, metaphorically, he can also understand her thoughts, mood and emotions. It's another way that they are emotionally attuned besides the connection provided by the Lover Bugs.  

Zhiji and zhiyin don't have to be romantic relationships, but they also don't preclude romantic relationships. If your partner is also your zhiji and zhiyin then you have hit the jackpot. Like Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji in The Untamed who found all three in each other :-). I think soulmate is a perfectly valid way to translate these terms, other posters have pointed out that soulmate is not exclusively about romantic love. Having someone who understands you on a soul-deep level without the need for words is a pretty apt way of thinking about these terms.

 Devlin8:

Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever.

I don't quite agree with this. I take a great deal of comfort in knowing that there were points in his life when XL did have time to heal, time to live for himself, and freedom, and that his choice to join the remnant army, to stay with them, to die with them, and to be WXL/XY's temporary companion before that end were all choices that he made freely. 

When he was injured by a whirlpool after escaping from the slave death match arena, Gong Gong saved him. XL stabbed Gong Gong but Gong Gong didn't blame him, and taught him a special healing technique. Gong Gong planned to take XL to the Flame Emperor (revered for his contributions to medicine) for additional healing, but XL didn't trust him and ran away. 

To escape his pursuers, XL ran all the way to the far north. There he continued to use the healing technique that Gong Gong taught him, and developed it into his own snow / ice-based fighting style. During his time in the far north, XL got into the habit of wearing all-white for camouflage / survival. XL stayed in the far north for over 100 years before crossing paths with the original FFB. 

As he promised the original FFB (in exchange for the opportunity to consume FFB's body and spiritual power), XL then went to the Fang Feng family residence and spent four years caring for FFB's dying mother there. According to XL, those years gave XL the opportunity to experience the unconditional love of a mother. Even after FFB's mother passed, XL spent approximately 100 years as FFB before he re-united with Gong Gong. That's 100 years of the life that XY wished for him - a life as FFB without any burdens or ties to the Sheng Nong remnant army.

When XL went to the Sheng Nong remnant army, XL originally planned to simply pay back his debt to Gong Gong. But he and Gong Gong ended up becoming so close that Gong Gong adopted XL as his own son. After that, XL remained with the Sheng Nong remnant army out of affection and true loyalty, rather than a mere obligation to repay a debt. 

With his fellow soldiers, XL developed a deep loyalty and camaraderie. XL tells XY that, in addition to Gong Gong, his fellow soldiers were part of the reason he chose to stay with the remnant army, and that he never forgot a single one of his fallen comrades. The novel doesn't show us much of XL interacting with other soldiers who are currently fighting with the Sheng Nong remnant army (beyond him worrying about them and diligently working to procure medicine for them in chapter 5), but we are given some insight into that side of XL through his interactions with the one-armed veteran, who XL describes as an old friend. The two of them drank together and spoke about fallen soldiers that they both knew. The one-armed veteran mentioned that XL had visited his donkey-meat restaurant hundreds of times before he brought XY there.

After the bet he made with XY about giving hope to Left Ear, XL went and watched seven of Left Ear's matches over the next 40 years, giving Left Ear renewed hope with each visit. XL got to see Left Ear win his freedom and escape from the slave death match arena. And then, in chapter 43, his prompting ensured that Left Ear would become XY's bodyguard, which meant that XY would be safer but also that Left Ear would have someone to guide and care for him. Left Ear reminded XY of a young XL, and XL likely saw much of himself in Left Ear too. I like to think that XL would have taken some satisfaction and comfort from the role he played in giving Left Ear a better life. 

We don't know how long Furball has been with XL, but they clearly both care about each other. When XL faced off against the seagull demon and Left Ear in chapter 43, he didn't consider the odds to be two against one. He viewed the odds as two against two, because Furball was on his side. Furball bore witness to all of XL's choices and the full extent of his sacrifices. Just as Ah Heng, Lie Yang and Sir Bi cared deeply for each other even when Sir Bi (a winged fox demon) had not yet achieved a human form, XL and Furball seem to care deeply about each other and are loyal to one another throughout the novel.

We also see that XL has an ongoing friendly acquaintanceship with Sir Bi of Jade Mountain. The two respect one another and enjoy drinking together every time XL visits Jade Mountain. Between his life as FFB and his life as XL, we don't know how many such friends and acquaintances XL had. Over several centuries, I imagine he had several that we (the readers) never have the opportunity to meet in the novel. 

Choices

XL had freedom and no burdens as FFB, but chose to go to Gong Gong at a time when the rest of the world was abandoning Gong Gong. Over the next 300 years, XL more than paid back his debt to Gong Gong. He could have left the remnant army, but chose to stay with them to the end. XL knew that XY's bug was a Lovers' Bug when he suggested and accepted its transfer, and willingly (wholeheartedly!) accepted it with that knowledge. XL chose to approach XY as FFB, and told her from the beginning that their companionship would be temporary. In chapter 22, XL chose to wake up XY in time for her to save TSJ and to send her to TSJ without meeting her when she woke up. In the next few chapters, XL chose to push XY towards TSJ. In chapter 25, XL chose to stop giving XY archery lessons (telling her that she had graduated). In chapter 31, XL received XY's ice crystal ball, but chose to ignore its message and to not to go see her when she waited for him on the shore by Five Gods Mountain. In chapter 32, XL chose to make a deal with TSJ, to stop XY's wedding in the manner that he did, to "kill" FFB, and to treat XY harshly. In chapter 43, XL chose to hide his true reasons for saving XY's life. In chapter 46, he chose to push XY to cut ties with him. In chapter 48, XL chose to hide his involvement in saving XY's life and breaking the bug connection between them. He also chose to hide his involvement in saving TSJ's life, and in making the big-bellied laughing doll. He chose to erase the memories of him that XY saved in her mirror. And he chose to die on the battlefield with the remnant army in their final stand.

Relationships

XL experienced the unconditional love of a mother. He developed a bond of loyalty and affection with Gong Gong strong enough that they chose to formalize it and to become each other's adoptive father and son. XL's sense of affection, loyalty and camaraderie with Gong Gong and his fellow soldiers was so strong that he chose to live and die with them. With XY, he not only experienced a deep and selfless love, but also the rare and precious experience of meeting a zhi yin (知音). He had friends (like the one-armed veteran) and friendly acquaintances (like Sir Bi). He helped Left Ear, and in his 600+ years he probably had many more unique and valuable relationships that we never get to see in the novel. 

Experiences

XL does not only live in his role as a cold and stoic solider. When living as FFB, he maintains FFB's reputation as a rake. He drinks, gambles, and frequents dancing halls - and leaves with beautiful women. He was no monk. And when XY comes along, he takes XY out exploring and hiking. They practice archery together, visit dance halls and gambling dens together, go shopping together, and share countless meals together. When XL is FFB, it's like he has taken off his armor and shed the burdens of the remnant army. 

Even when he is XL, he is someone who appreciates the world's beauty and pleasures, and takes pleasure in sharing them with another special person. In chapter 4, XL takes XY to appreciate the spectacular beauty of the moon rising over the vast ocean. In chapter 7 and chapter 26, XL spends a great deal of time with XY in the ocean as she explores and marvels at its wonders and beauty. Unlike humans and deities, XL can hear the merpeople's song - the most beautiful sound in the world. And after his blood transforms her, XY can hear it too. 

And throughout much of the novel, XL receives XY's poisons. Over time those poisons become much more elaborate and beautiful, and XY puts her longing and emotions into them. They are a constant reminder that he is in her thoughts, and, in a way, they are almost tokens of love. None more so than XY's final poison creation: the ice crystal ball. XL was the only person in the world who could fully appreciate XY's poison creations, and clearly took pleasure in receiving them. 

Overall

In parts of his life, XL did experience a great deal of loneliness and suffering. He also made many selfless choices, and some of those choices caused him to suffer further. But he also had many deep and meaningful experiences and relationships. In many cases, experiences and relationships that most people never have the chance to experience in their lifetime. In some ways, his life was very rich and full. And through his choices he exercised an extraordinary amount of control over his own fate. 

As XY said, "One time he told me, “Actually, to a General, the best ending is dying on the battlefield.” So he chose for himself the best ending!" Even though XY thought he was an idiot for making that choice and she (and many readers) wished that he had chosen a different end for himself, I personally take the view that XL was probably very satisfied with his ending. He put so much effort into planning his ending and the things he left behind (and didn't leave behind) for XY. And then he put so much effort into executing that plan, and it seemed like it all went the way he wanted it to go. That part gives me a lot of comfort, and is probably the main thing that led me to eventually view the novel ending as satisfying. 

 H19279:

About the legend of the musician, I knew it and actually it was mentioned in the poem that Tong Hua used as title for chapter 25 (Li Bai's poem about zhi yin friends). I first wanted to mention it as example of zhi yin friendship but just lazy to reopen other page.

Chapter 25, FFB told XY that she graduated and no need to take archery lesson. Although, the title seems to link to her reaction when XY knew FFYY got pregnant but the poem was about the loss of zhiyin friend.

I'm going to take this as confirmation that Tong Hua chose these poems to be the titles of these chapters for specific purposes - to highlight messages in the chapter. It's not just by coincidence. Looks like I need to go back and look at the analysis of these poems again.