Keeping XL in her mirror? It "did not mean ...she's in love...but only fascinated." Lmao.song:
I'm wondering if anyone will accept this "reason" from their SO. Imagine your partner seeing pictures/videos of your "bosom friend" on your phone, while there's not a single one of him/her. Worse, imagine your partner caught you looking at your bosom friend's videos and photos while giggling to yourself. I have a feeling that you'll be having words and he or she will be questioning your feelings for this "bosom friend". Particularly if for nearly 100 years, this bosom friend is the only one who image you deen to record and keep :-).
This reminded me of a scene in the novel. The first was when WXL saw Xiang Liu's smile and was mesmerized, wanting to record it in his memory (paraphrasing here). And of course, in 100 years, XY only recorded one person in her Gorilla mirror and it ain't her "love", but her "bosom friend". Funny that!
Jingers measure the magnitude of his love by his inability to live without XY.plor20:
I'll just chalk this up to a different view of love. Frankly, I'd questioned the sincerity and healthiness of a love that is born out of need rather than free, unfettered choice. And I do not want to be responsible for another person's life and happiness. That's just far too suffocating and burdensome. If I wanted to be responsible for another life, I'd have a child. Why would I want a man-child who "needs" me and can't live without me? Hard pass.
They fail to understand that a man who stakes his whole existence on another person's life is actually very toxic.
Yup! Anyone who stakes their existence on another's love and life should re-considered what it's going on for them. Do you have no self-respect and self-worth? Are you incapable of standing on your own two feet? Romantic relationships are often wonderful things and may enhance your life; but if your worth is tied up in another person, that is not at all healthy.
It also upsets me that all the men around her also just indulge her poor decision-making too
In some ways, it benefits them to have her continue to be the way that she is. They also have their issues and probably don't recognise the problems. In others, it's about an unhealthy way of loving. It's like raising a child. Love alone isn't enough to raise a child into a healthy, functioning adult. Too much love without enough boundaries and consequences will raise a weak/spoiled brat. The men in XY's life overindulged her. She needed someone to call her out on her bullshit and bad behaviour. And metaphorically whack some sense into her :-).
I always felt that XL does yearn for XY, but because she is so steadfast in her needs, it becomes a form of rejection for XL.
Yes. I had some exchanges with another poster here that XL was well aware of XY's fearfulness and lack of emotional courage. Every time she dashed back to Jing it was an indicator that regardless of her feelings for XL, her fear was too strong. And this contributed to him not taking step towards their relationship.
If she didn't have many alternatives, it seems she couldn't truly exercise a choice. When there's no one else left except Jing, she is left with little option but to choose him.
Yes. It was either Jing or being alone, and we know that being alone is not a viable option for XY.
It's not that XL and CX didn't choose her; her requirements made it so that they didn't even have a fighting chance with her.
XY, with her trauma card, was too blind to understand the bigger picture. No woman should have to be so desperate to make such a choice.
Yes. Most of us have some sort of requirements for a potential partner. The stricter our requirements, the more we'll limit our choices and options. XY's requirements met her needs; needs that were born out of her trauma. XY was probably the most privileged woman in the land and yet, she chose to lock herself in a prison without bars. Sadly, her options were so limited and her desperation meant that she couldn't really afford to be more choosy.
Selected Lovers' Bug Excerpts
-----
Chapter 5:
“The poison was placed on Ah Nian’s body, I know Xuan would hug her, comfort her, and the poison would enter his body. Once it went into the blood stream, it’s very hard to remove. With Ah Nian’s personality, she must be crying these last few days and needing Xuan to comfort her often. He would never suspect it was aimed at him.”
“What poison did you give him?”
Xiao Liu cautiously explained, “Actually, it’s not really a poison, it’s best described as voodoo. The voodoo magic is practiced by the Jiu Li tribe and is their secret learning. A few hundred years ago, the Jiu Li tribe had a voodoo king who was called the poison master of the great wilderness. The voodoo magic is considered evil stacked against mainstream medicine and poisons. People have heard of it but very few actually understand it.”
Xiao Liu explained, “In truth, I raised a voodoo bug inside of my body, and that bug is now in Xuan’s body. From now on, when my body hurts, his body will also experience the same pain.”
“That voodoo bug must not have been easy to raise.”
“Of course! Very hard to raise!” If it was easy to raise this magic would be all over the great wilderness. Even with Xiao Liu’s special body, it still took him years to raise it.
“Why raise a voodoo bug?”
Xiao Liu sighed. “It was all to control Xiang Liu that big demon! He is a nine-headed monster and not a single poison can take him down. So I thought of this great plan but before I had a chance to plant it in him, I ended up using it on Xuan.” Beasts are very instinctive and Xiao Liu was worried Xiang Liu would cotton on to the voodoo bug. He was so compliant when he needed to drink his blood so that one day the voodoo bug would unwittingly be planted into Xiang Liu’s body.
Jing asked, “Is the voodoo bug harmful to the body?”
“No!”
“Are you certain?”
“Yes, with my life I promise!”
Jing wasn’t so sure but he didn’t know enough about voodoo bugs so he would need to consult a doctor later. Xiao Liu asked, “How many days since I was captured?” “Four.”
Xiao Liu looked down at his hands, thinking perhaps its time not to apply medicine. “The time is almost ready.”
...
Xiao Liu stared and then suddenly asked, “How long have you been here?”
Xiang Liu lightly answered, “Long enough to hear that you wanted to plant a voodoo bug in me.” Xiao Liu’s face changed color – speaking with Jing, he never tried to play word games so he was just careless earlier and forgot that he was on Xiang Liu’s territory. Xiao Liu laughed. “But I didn’t do it. I planted it in Xuan.”
Xiang Liu came down and stared at Xiao Liu like a predator looking at prey. “If you hurt, he hurts? When will the voodoo bug start working?” Xiao Liu immediately took a step back, afraid that Xiang Liu would strike. “The time isn’t here yet, but with the voodoo bug planted he won’t get off easy.”
Xiang Liu stared out over the clouds. “First you insult his cousin, then plant a voodoo bug on him. He will not let you live. I hope your bug is impossible to remove so that he is wary of you.”
“That voodoo bug was prepared for you. I’m the only one in this world who can remove it.”
-----
Chapter 7:
Xiang Liu asked, “What are you thinking?”
“How to remove that voodoo bug. Xuan’s follower came by once to ask.” With Xuan’s real identity, that bug might not hurt him, but it was more likely one day it’ll kill Xiao Liu since so many people wanted to kill Xuan. Xiao Liu also didn’t want people to use him anymore against Xuan so was genuinely racking his brains for how to remove it.
Xiang Liu said, “I told you, find another person and plant the bug there.”
‘”Who would be willing? Maybe one of Xuan’s men?”
Xiang Liu very casually said, “It can’t be just any person.”
“Why?”
“You raised the bug, you don’t know?”
“I…..I don’t know.” Xiao Liu confessed.
“Where did you get the bug?”
“Many years ago, I met an old lady from the Jiu Li tribe. You know that the legendary most fearless, vicious, cruel demon of all time Qi Yo was from the Jiu Li tribe. After he was killed by the Yellow Emperor, the entire Jiu Li tribe was demoted to slave status. The men and women were born into slavery. That old woman was a slave that no one wanted anymore. She was smelly and dirty, laying close to death in a pile of dirt. I found her very pitiful so I asked her what her final wish was before she died. She asked for a bath so she could go see her lover clean and pretty. I took her to the river and helped her bathe, then brushed her hair into the hairstyle of a Jiu Li woman. She gave me a blackened shriveled walnut, saying that she had nothing on her except this pair of voodoo bugs. She gave it to me as thanks. She told me to leave and then she died. Her body immediately attracted a lot of insects and was immediately devoured clean. Later on, when I didn’t know how to deal with you, I suddenly remembered this walnut I carried with me for a long time. I used it to raise the two voodoo bugs according to the magic of Jiu Li. I fed it pieces of my own flesh and blood, then one bug chose me, and then the other was meant for you but instead I planted it in Xuan.”
“How did you learn how to raise a voodoo bug?”
Xiao Liu’s eyes twirled. “That old woman told me!” Xiang Liu coldly laughed “You’re full of shit. If she told you how to raise the bugs, how could she not have told you what the name of this particular voodoo bug was?”
Xiao Liu knew what he said was contradictory so just went with it. “Why do you care how I know how to raise voodoo bugs? I just do.”
Xiang Liu said, “The pair of voodoo bugs you have is very rare. If you want to remove it, the only way is to find another person and lure the bug into that person.”
“What are the requirements for that person?”
Xiang Liu said nothing, and after a moment, he stiffly barked, “I don’t know!”
Xiao Liu didn’t believe him, yet he didn’t know why Xiang Liu wouldn’t come out and tell him. So he tried asking, “Do you fit the requirement?”
Xiang Liu didn’t answer so Xiao Liu asked more, “You are a nine-headed demon. Luring a voodoo bug into you, that can’t be a problem, right?”
Xiang Liu didn’t deny it so Xiao Liu took that as a tacit confirmation. Xiao Liu got all excited. “You said with your nine heads, even if my body hurt then it wouldn’t hurt you much, right? So can I lure the bug over into your body?”
Xiang Liu stood there with his hands behind his back, staring at the moon, saying nothing. After a few moments he said, “I can help you lure the bug into me, but you have to promise that in the future you will do one thing for me. If I ask, you will do it.”
Xiao Liu asked, “Then tell me now, how to remove the bug?”
“I don’t know! Don’t you know how to lure the bug into a person?”
Xiao Liu closed his eyes and his lips started speaking wordlessly as if reciting a chant. After some time, “There is a way, but you and Xuan must be within a certain vicinity of each other before I can start the spell. Right now it’s too far.”
Using this method, they had to make a visit to Gao Xing Kingdom’s royal capital Five Gods Mountain. ...
Furball took them South and after flying for a night and some hours they were close to Gao Xing’s Five Gods Mountain.
...
Xiang Liu’s voice was in Xiao Liu’s ear. “We’re at Five Gods Mountain. It ought to be close to where Zhuan Xu is. You can try calling the bug into my body.”
Xiao Liu felt the fish pulling his lower body along so he could move with ease. He took out a blackened walnut and bit his own middle finger. He smeared the blood on the walnut and then handed it to Xiang Liu and indicated he do the same. Xiang Liu pierced his middle finger and smeared blood on the other half of the walnut and handed it back to Xiao Liu.
Xiao Liu indicated for Xiang Liu to raise the hand that was bloody and point it towards Five Gods Mountain. Xiao Liu said, “You relax, and if possible, feel genuine happiness to welcome the bug to your body.”
Xiao Liu tightly clasped the walnut to his chest and started chanting, summoning the bug in his own body. After some time, Xiao Liu felt his own heart start to beat wildly, and incredibly he felt another heart beating as well. The two hearts were like friends who had not seen each other in a long time, beating wildly in joy to be together. Xiao Liu reached out his hand and pressed it on Xiang Liu’s chest, and it was indeed the sound of Xiang Liu’s heart.
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it. “The bug is planted into your body? That fast?”
Xiang Liu rolled his eyes at Xiao Liu. “Someone like you dared to control a bug? A truly powerful voodoo master could summon a bug tens of thousands of miles away to kill someone. Do you think all bugs are like you, slow pokes ambling across mountains and ridges?”
“Eh” Xiao Liu felt something strange in his palm. He opened it to find the walnut glowing and then gradually melting into splashes of color. It was like little fireflies dancing around Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu. Half of each went into Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu’s palms and disappeared.
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it and shook his hands a few times but it really just disappeared.
Xiao Liu’s expression grew dark and he said to Xiang Liu, “I have a bad feeling about this. This bug is sooooo strange. It’s not as simple as I thought it was.”
But then Xiao Liu didn’t feel anything weird in his body so asked Xiang Liu, “How do you feel?”
Xiang Liu was very calm and looked upward. “I feel like we need to run away now.” The bug summoning could not be done under concealment so it had alerted the guards in Five Gods Mountain.
-----
Chapter 22:
“Every time you mention voodoo you just glance over it, but how exactly did you learn to raise and plant a voodoo bug? And who taught you all the poison tricks you know?”
...
“When Mom left me in Jade Mountain, around my neck was a jade container that held the Sheng Nong Herb Manual which taught my Mom all about medicines, but it also contained the Jiu Li Poison Voodoo Manual which contained all the spells about using poison and bugs. When the Royal Mother discovered it, she said both manuals would bring future catastrophes if people discovered them. She forced me to memorize both and then she destroyed them afterwards.” Xiao Yao remembered how she cried and sobbed and refused to talk with the Royal Mother afterwards for destroying what her mom left for her.
Xiao Yao said “Initially I tucked all that knowledge away in the back of my mind, but when I was captured by the Nine-tailed fox, I remembered the poison learnings. I knew I only had one chance to poison him so I was very careful, and even worried that the Voodoo King’s voodoo manual poisons were not deadly and discreet enough, and even used the Flame Emperor’s medical research to create more poisons.”
-----
Chapter 24:
Xiao Yao learned some Jiu Li voodoo language when she was small from her mom so she could read what the Voodoo King wrote in his manual, but she never lived in Jiu Li so she couldn’t speak it and could only somewhat understand it.
Xiao Yao guessed a bit and slowly tried to explain, “I am not the next voodoo king, I’m just…..” If it wasn’t for the poison manual left for her by her mom that was written by the Jiu Li Voodoo King, she’d be long dead by now, so it was accurate to say the Voodoo King saved her and Xiao Yao felt great respect for him. “The Voodoo King saved my life and taught me voodoo. I know you didn’t harm anyone and the Voodoo King will not punish you.”
...
She made this promise even before Xiao Yao could diagnose her, but with the knowledge in her brain of the Sheng Nong Herb Manual and the Jiu Liu Poison Voodoo Manual, plus with Se Mai Er around, Xiao Yao was fairly certain she could lessen her pain.
-----
Chapter 48:
Xiang Liu sat down next to the raft and stared at the sleeping Xiao Yao before softly saying, “The tree grows old on land together, the mandarin ducks die together in the water – the Lover’s Bug connects heart to heart and our lives, and there truly is no way to remove the bug. Years ago I was only able to remove the bug from Zhuan Xu because he didn’t know it was you so he didn’t willingly accept the bug. So you never successfully planted the bug on him in the first place. But I….I was heart and soul willing, so the bug successfully planted in me. You asked me to remove the bug and I kept telling you I can’t do it, but you didn’t believe me. But I truly didn’t lie to you, I cannot remove the bug.”
Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao’s hand and used his finger as a knife to slice into the flesh of her palm and his palm back and forth until he drew a blood spell. “I cannot remove the bug, but I can kill the bug!”
Xiang Liu smiled before joining his bloody palm to Xiao Yao’s bloody palm, so tightly that the blood flowing wasn’t clear whether it was his or hers. “Don’t blame me for not telling you this before, you were the one who did not ask!”
Xiang Liu started to chant the spell and with it countless glowing blue dots appeared and flew around both of them. The blue dots lit up the night sky until it was an ethereal beauty of lights in the air and reflected in the lake surface.
Xiang Liu’s hand suddenly grabbed a real dagger made from ice and he stabbed it directly into his own heart. Sir Bi gasped out loud and had to force himself to not do anything.
Xiang Liu pulled out the dagger and blood gushed from the wound in his chest. All the blue dots rushed into the wound in his chest until they all vanished inside.
After all the blue dots were gone, Xiang Liu’s face was stark white and he pressed down with one hand on his chest wound, and the other grabbed medicine but he didn’t apply it to himself and instead applied it on Xiao Yao’s hand. The cuts on her hand quickly healed until there was no sign it was ever injured.
Xiang Liu smiled sadly and said to Xiao Yao, “I broke the bug connection between us! From now on, you and I will have no connection with each other!”
Xiang Liu gently pushed the raft towards Sir Bi. “She will wake up tomorrow morning.”
Sir Bi understood what happened – the heart-and-life-connected Lover’s Bug was planted between Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, which is why Xiang Liu could save Xiao Yao’s life earlier. Xiang Liu managed to now break the bug by using his own life as the lure to kill the bugs. It was a suicidal method, but a method that only Nine Lives Xiang Liu could use by taking one of his lives.
The time when XY was transfering the bug to XL' body how come the walnut disappeared after the transfer?Kimiya78:
-----
Chapter 7:
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it. “The bug is planted into your body? That fast?”
...
“Eh” Xiao Liu felt something strange in his palm. He opened it to find the walnut glowing and then gradually melting into splashes of color. It was like little fireflies dancing around Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu. Half of each went into Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu’s palms and disappeared.
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it and shook his hands a few times but it really just disappeared.
-----
When XY received the bugs from the old Jiu Li woman, they were kept inside the walnut. When XY raised the bugs inside her body, she used the walnut to do so. When XY summoned the bug from CX, she and XL each wiped their blood on one half of the walnut and then XY clasped the walnut to her chest while chanting.
My interpretation is that the walnut disappearing (after the life and heart connection is successfully established between XL and XY) is a way that Tong Hua provides the reader with a hint at something that is not confirmed until chapter 48: when XY "planted" the bug in CX, it wasn't planted successfully. But when she transferred the bug to XL, it was planted successfully. Because it was successfully planted, it could never be transferred to another person again. No more walnut (because the walnut halves disappeared into XL and XY's palms) = no more future transfers.
Note that when XL breaks the bug connection in chapter 48, he carves a blood spell into his palm and XY's palm (where the walnut halves disappeared) and their hands are joined (with their blood mingling together) during the spell that XL casts to lure the bugs out. XL then uses one of his extra lives as a lure to trap and kill the bugs - breaking the connection.
And why XY said that she had a strange feeling?
-----
Chapter 7:
“Eh” Xiao Liu felt something strange in his palm. He opened it to find the walnut glowing and then gradually melting into splashes of color. It was like little fireflies dancing around Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu. Half of each went into Xiao Liu and Xiang Liu’s palms and disappeared.
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it and shook his hands a few times but it really just disappeared.
Xiao Liu’s expression grew dark and he said to Xiang Liu, “I have a bad feeling about this. This bug is sooooo strange. It’s not as simple as I thought it was.”
-----
I'm not sure that we really know anything about this. Except that (similar to the walnut disappearing), XY having a bad feeling about how strange / unexpectedly complicated the bug is seems to be another indication that the transfer of the bug to XL did not go the way XY expected and was different from the circumstances when she unsuccessfully planted the bug in CX.
XL then kinda asked why she manipulated the bugs, what was the purport of that? I mean I don't get the meaning of XL's Question.
-----
Chapter 7:
“We’re at Five Gods Mountain. It ought to be close to where Zhuan Xu is. You can try calling the bug into my body.”
...
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it. “The bug is planted into your body? That fast?”
Xiang Liu rolled his eyes at Xiao Liu. “Someone like you dared to control a bug? A truly powerful voodoo master could summon a bug tens of thousands of miles away to kill someone. Do you think all bugs are like you, slow pokes ambling across mountains and ridges?”
-----
XY did not know that the bugs she had were life-linking bugs, or that they were called Lovers' Bugs.
She didn't know how they worked (she wrongly thought they were the type of bugs that only transferred pain) and she didn't know the requirements for successfully planting them.
It was clear to XL that XY was not a voodoo master.
We (the readers) find out that XY's knowledge of voodoo is entirely derived from a manual (granted - a manual that was written by the foremost voodoo / poison master) that she read 300+ years earlier as a child in a language that she didn't fully understand.
So when XY marvels at how quickly the bug was transferred from CX to XL, XL makes a snarky comment about true voodoo masters being able to summon bugs across tens of thousands of miles and sarcastically asks XY if she thinks those bugs would crawl across those tens of thousands of miles slowly. The obvious answer being: of course not. The logical conclusion being: since they were not a long distance away from CX, it was normal / expected for the bug to be transferred so quickly between CX and XL.
Part of me also wonders... did the transfer actually occur especially quickly (perhaps due to the intensity of XL's love or willingness to accept the bug) and did XL then make that snarky comment to throw XY off the scent of possibly figuring that out someday?
I note that XY was under the impression that it would take more than four days for the bug she planted in CX to start transferring her pain to him.
54 minutes agoKokuto:
Kimiya78:
1) Why XY's blood is nutritious?
When the Nine / Eight Tailed fox demon imprisoned her in the cage for 30 years, he fed her special herbs and drugs to push her spiritual power into her blood, so when he ate her, he would get the more if not all her spirit power.
That might be an extra reason why her blood has such properties, but the primary reason is due to the time she spent on Jade Mountain. https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2947527&page=465#p2947527
Sir Bi was not tortured by the nine-tailed fox, but his blood has similar properties to XY's blood and was used in Once Promised to help keep Chi You alive when he was plagued by deadly poison.
Kimiya78:
2) The time when XY was transfering the bug to XL' body how come the walnut disappeared after the transfer? And why XY said that she had a strange feeling? ANOTHER Question regarding this scene is that XL then kinda asked why she manipulated the bugs, what was the purport of that? I mean I don't get the meaning of XL's Question.
The walnut disappeared because it was a SUCCESSFUL implantation of the Love Bug. It didn't plant successfully with CX. Since it worked, and connected her fully with XL, I'm guessing it felt different.
He was just pointing out that her control was poor, as a Bug Master, like the Voodoo King, I assume, could control bugs from great distances.
Rather than pointing out that XY's control was poor (the transfer was completed faster than XY expected, not slower), I think XL was pointing out XY's ignorance / lack of knowledge about the voodoo bugs. He seems to be implying that it should have been obvious to her that the bugs would be able to cover such a short distance so quickly.
5) Since I haven't read the novel completely and somehow I ignore every single spoil about the things that have to do with beyond S1 of the drama, I still didn't get XY's true father identity. Is she Hao Ling's daughter or not?
Shao Hao / the Grand Emperor of Gao Xing / the White Emperor / the King of Haoling is not XY's biological father. He has always been aware of that fact (he and XY's mother agreed at the beginning of their marriage to have a political alliance rather than a true marriage), but he loved XY like a daughter anyway.
-----
Chapter 36:
Jing said, “These recent months I’ve done all I can to search for information about Your majesty and Qi Yo. Whether it was Your majesty or Qi Yo, both are incisively smart and overly cautious and wary people. If Xiao Yao’s mother wanted to fool the world it wasn’t hard. But to fool either or both of you, it would be impossible. Unless someone helped her, that is. My guess is when Xiao Yao was born, Your majesty knew that she was Qi Yo’s daughter. Because Your majesty helped to place the Face Forming Flower in Xiao Yao, that is why she resembled you so much when she was small.”
The Grand Emperor still had no expression but he coolly said, “Your conclusion is correct, it was Ah Heng and I who sealed the Face Forming Flower in Xiao Yao’s body.”
Ah Heng must be the name that her close family called the Xuan Yuan Princess. Jing continued “The world thinks that Your majesty doesn’t know the truth and thus treated Xiao Yao as your daughter. They don’t know that you know the truth and still treated Xiao Yao as your daughter. I can guess that it was the Black Emperor who spread the rumor far and wide, and Your majesty is so smart you probably also figured that out already. I believe I know why he did it, and I think Your majesty does as well.”
...
He murmured, “Does Ah Heng really want Xiao Yao to know? I always thought Ah Heng wanted Xiao Yao to live free without a care.”
“Since Xiao Yao was born her life has determined that she can’t grow up like Ah Nian. Now that she’s grown up, no matter how painful and cruel the truth is, please tell Xiao Yao everything because only the truth can open her heart so that one day she can live carefree.”
The Grand Emperor murmured, “She’s grown up?” When Ah Heng gave birth to Xiao Yao in a dangerous delivery, Ah Heng was in a coma for over a year and he was the one who slept with baby Xiao Yao and fed her. Ah Heng, why do I feel like Xiao Yao is still a daughter that must be protected at all costs? But she really is all grown up now!
-----
Chapter 19 in Volume 2 of Once Promised:
Ah Heng smiled suddenly. “But…if possible, please use your power and authority to protect Xiao Yao. That child may one day bring you the greatest shame in your life, and if you want please be mad at me, but never take it out on her.”
Shao Hao had tears in his eyes. “You forget that after you were unconscious for a year after giving birth, who took care of her day and night? Every day after I left court, she would warmly run into my arms to greet me. She would use her little hands to wipe away the furrows in my brows. Only she would dare say that I looked awful with a poker face, only she would dare throw a temper tantrum at me. Xiao Yao is the only person on Five Gods Mountain who ever loved me unconditionally. She gave me so much happiness, I may not dare to make any other promise to you, but I will promise you that she will forever be my daughter!”
this sentence is not directed at you AH :-)HeadInTheClouds:
Thanks for specifying. ^^"
We know that XY has "psychological deficiencies" due to her childhood trauma resulting in fear of abandonment.
I think it might be helpful to spell out XY's issues and what real healing would look like for her?
IMO, XY is afraid of three things:
- Loneliness.
- Becoming close to / loving another person and then being abandoned by that person.
- Being emotionally honest / emotionally vulnerable in front of other people (particularly TSJ).
For fear #1, this fear is not overly extreme or unhealthy. XY is capable of being alone and sometimes chooses to be alone.
-----
Chapter 21:
Xiao Yao was different than Xing Yue, she lived alone in the mountains for twenty years, then captured by the Nine-tailed fox for thirty years. She liked people keeping her company but she was picky about who her companions were. She would rather be alone than hang out with people she didn’t like.
-----
In fact, fear #2 sometimes causes her to correct too hard in the other direction towards self-isolation out of a pathological fear of abandonment. The idea being that you can't be abandoned by someone you love or someone that you've come to rely on if you never allow yourself to love anyone or to rely on anyone else in the first place.
If a parting must occur, she prefers to be the person who leaves, rather than to be the person who is left / abandoned.
-----
Chapter 3:
He was wrong, he should never rely on another.
...
He wasn’t angry that Shi Qi let Xuan take the antidote. He was angry because when he relied on someone it was to turn around and discover that person wasn’t there. He was angry at himself for having this pathetic hope.
...
Xiao Liu hurried back to his room, the hard shell around his heart already sealed shut again. It was his moment of softened pity that caused him to be confused for a while but now he was back to thinking clear again. Every person arrived alone on this Earth and would depart alone. There was no one to rely on. How much hope and reliance one had today, was how much pain and suffering one would endure down the road. Rather than that happening, it was better to not have it to begin with.
------
Chapter 8:
Xiao Liu’s legs were in excruciating pain and he leaned on Shi Qi and murmured to himself, “If I knew it was so painful to run, I would have chosen not to run. But if I didn’t run, then I would have never known that you would do anything for me. But what shall I do now? It would have been better had you not helped me. I could have easily severed my longing and hope. Or when we were surrounded back there, it would have been better had you not told me to run away by myself. Xan Tian Er’s life is a struggle, and when a man thinks he is helping her by easing her struggle, he is putting her into a different kind of struggle. She is now struggling with the fear that he would leave her one day and she’s left struggling all alone again. Which of the two struggles is harder? Perhaps most women choose to struggle with a man easing her load, at least there is some happiness, some hope that the man won’t let go one day. But I’m not like that! I would rather be roasted all alone, struggle all alone, because at least my hands are free. Pain makes me hope for escape, a man’s hands make me fear he’ll let go. I would then reach out and hold onto him tightly, collect all the happiness tightly. Right now Xan Tian Er is able to save herself because I helped her. But who will help me? The Gods can help humans, but who will help the Gods? No one! I still feel it’s safer to hide in my shell. I’ve suffered so much in my life already, I don’t want to suffer more, I don’t want to be hurt more…..”
...
Shi Qi said, “I know you never give yourself hope so you don’t trust first and won’t give first. You have a true heart but if the other doesn’t appreciate it, then you won’t give it. I’m willing to wait, wait until you’re willing to hope.”
“What if in my entire lifetime I’m not willing?”
“Then I’ll wait an entire lifetime. As long as you don’t disappear, then even if it’s an entire lifetime it will still be happy.”
-----
Chapter 12:
Zhuan Xu’s hand was on Xiao Liu’s shoulder, “Don’t give yourself hope, then you won’t be disappointed.”
-----
Chapter 16:
She waited half a year and never heard again from Jing.
One night, she laid on the pallet playing with the nine bottles, rolling them around on the blanket. It rested on the white sheets and the nine cherry blossoms bloomed brightly. Xiao Yao suddenly thought of Jade Mountain, she waited for her mother there for seventy years and never got anything. In her lifetime, she never wanted to wait for another person again.
...
The Yellow Emperor stared at Xiao Yao. “What kind of man do you want?” The Yellow Emperor did not come from a noble or imperial birth right or received such an education, he was born in an ordinary family so when conversing with him, he was much more blunt than the Grand Emperor.
This bold topic would have made any young girl blush but Xiao Yao. She really thought about it and said, “Before I came of age I was already pretending to be a man. When young ladies are just noticing guys I was trying to just survive. I was alone for so long that really I just wanted someone to keep me company. Not someone I want to marry – I want someone I can live with, share happiness and sorrow with, fight and make up, I just don’t want to talk to myself anymore. But I’m scared because think about it, my own grandfather, mom, dad, they all abandoned me before. How can I trust someone won’t abandon me? I took in lonely elders and orphans because I know they need me so they won’t abandon me.”
Xiao Yao chuckled. “People think I am kind but really I’m just weak. When I’m with those who are weaker than me, I feel like I am in control and am needed so I won’t be abandoned. That is when I feel safe.”
...
She continued, “When I became a girl again, I thought marrying is so far away and never thought about it. But I know I’m scared of a man like you. In your heart, there will always be choices that are more important than the woman you love.”
The Yellow Emperor was expressionless and he said, “Men like me are not suited to be husbands.”
Xiao Yao slowly said, “I am too afraid of having and losing, so I would rather not have at all. Unless there is a man who, no matter faced with any choice, will always pick me first, who will never abandon me no matter what reason, then I will be willing to spend the rest of my life with him.”
The Yellow Emperor said, “That’s very hard.”
Xiao Yao smiled, “I know it’s hard which is why I don’t think about any man. I’m too scared of falling in and not being able to save myself…..” Xiao Yao sighed. “Even if I have a bit of stirring, I do my best to rein it in.”
...
The Yellow Emperor said, “Actually you think too much. People need to pretend to be clueless sometimes. If you pick the right person, treat him well and it’s not hard to grow old together.”
Xiao Yao mulled over what he said and after a few minutes smiled ruefully “I understand what grandfather is trying to say but I’m already this way. If I can’t find the kind of man I want, then I would rather not marry and take in some orphans and live my life.”
-----
Chapter 22:
Xiao Yao watched the cloud carriage depart before turning to Zhuan Xu. He helped her on their cloud carriage. She was tired and closed her eyes to nap and the carriage was silent until Zhuan Xu suddenly asked, “Are you certain? Jing may not be the best man, or the man most suited for you.”
Xioa Yao opened her eyes. “You and I are both abandoned children, you know more than anyone what I want.”
Zhuan Xu said “Even if he gives up being Tu Shan Jing, but you and I know that the blood ties are too thick to ever just give up and cut off that easily. The Grand Madam is infamous for being stubborn and difficult. Have you thought about the future?”
“The future is not up to me, it’s up to him. I am merely willing to wait for him to give me an outcome.”
Zhuan Xu murmured, “You’re not the type to wait for people, clearly he’s special in your heart.”
Xiao Yao said, “Don’t worry about me! I’ve experienced too many disappointments and have long learned to keep expectations low and always think of the worst case scenario. You and I both know, to not be disappointed, one must never have hope.”
-----
Chapter 23:
Fang Feng Bei said, “Little sister said Jing didn’t want to be clan leader, and to cancel their engagement he knelt for a day and night in front of the Grand Madam’s room. If he really didn’t want to be clan leader, knowing little sister’s personality, she would have found a way to cancel their engagement herself. But now that Jing is clan leader, little sister’s years of hard work is finally right at her fingertips. She won’t give up now.”
Bei looked at Xiao Yao. “Seeing hope so close but evaporated into the air, are you upset?”
Xiao Yao replied, “Of course I’m a little upset, but perhaps I’ve been disappointed and always getting the short end of the stick since childhood, no matter what good things are promised to me, I instinctively expect it to be crushed. No matter how poignant the promise is, I never fully believe in it. So I’m not that upset.” Having her own mother abandon her for the greater good of the world, what other love in this world could be fully trusted?
Fang Feng Bei softly chuckled. “Your personality isn’t all that, no matter how happy, you always brace for the pain to come.”
Xiao Yao laughed. “That is why I treasure the happiness right before me, because that is the only thing that is real.”
-----
For fear #3, XY is the type of person that laughs or puts on a big smile when she is in pain in public / in front of almost everyone.
Her emotional facade led TSJ to believe that XY was over him / their breakup, when she very much was not.
It took her ten years (and a conversation with Tian Er) to finally break down and cry in front of TSJ after their breakup.
-----
Chapter 29:
A person can be hurt two ways, one is physical and can be seen and the other is emotional and cannot be seen. No matter how strong, a person who is physically injured will rest and heal. But emotional injury, the stronger a person is, the more the person will pretend it never happened and live on as usual. But this type of injury is even harder to heal.
Abandoned by her mother, running for her life, turning into a faceless monster, living alone in the deep mountains, captured by the Nine-tailed fox, wandering by herself…….all those things injured Xiao Yao deeply but she stayed strong and pushed the injuries deep down inside and pretended it didn’t happen. She told herself that she was grown now and those things were in the past.
...
Zhuan Xu stroked Xiao Yao’s head, “Don’t worry, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here. You can be weak if you want. You can even cry! Don’t worry!”
...
Zhuan Xu said, “I just hope there is a person out there who can pave over the pain Jing left on you. That you can believe you are treasured, you are loved, you are valued, you are someone he can never, ever let go of.”
Xiao Yao’s tears swam in her eyes and she murmured, “I’ve always been unlucky. This type of lucky thing I don’t even dare to hope for.”
Zhuan Xu said in a low voice, “It’s there, Xiao Yao, it’s there.”
Zhuan Xu kept Xiao Yao company until she fell asleep. He got up and covered her with the blanket. Xiao Yao refused to cry in front of him because she was so headstrong, but right now the tears were slowly falling from her eyes.
------
Chapter 33:
Jing felt like a knife was cutting his heart when he heard Xiao Yao crying. This was the first time she ever cried for him. When she heard Yi Yang was pregnant, she smiled at him.
...
Xiao Yao hit Jing hard and cried, “Why didn’t you let me get married? Why can’t you let me act like I’m fine and keep walking forward with a smile?”
...
Xiao Yao cried until she let out all the years of tamped down anguish and gradually regained her clarity. She realized she was in Jing’s arms and forcefully pushed him away.
...
Xiao Yao’s attitude turned cool and she said, “I said what I wanted to say so you can go now. Tomorrow I’ll go back to Sheng Nong Mountain and you don’t need to see me off.”
Jing stared at Xiao Yao and said nothing. It took ten years for Xiao Yao to finally lose her composure and the tears were still in the corner of her eyes but she was once again calm and rational. This time she said the final things she needed to say, after this parting he likely would never see her again.
Xiao Yao smiled “Wrong is wrong, even regret can’t change things. I will try hard to forget and keep on walking forward for your sake and for mine. Let’s not see each other ever again!”
------
So what would healing look like for XY?
First off, I personally don't think XY ending up alone would demonstrate her growing / healing. XY is already capable of being alone, I don't think it's fair to expect her to be totally happy and content if she were completely alone, and she is far too prone to extreme self-isolation. The narrowly-avoided tragic ending of XY becoming the Royal Mother of Jade Mountain (which would have involved XY dooming herself to being eternally alone) highlights that.
IMO, if an ending were to show a version of XY that had overcome her issues (or that had at least made a lot of progress on her healing journey), that ending would show XY in a relationship where she is comfortable being emotionally honest and vulnerable, communicates openly with her partner and contributes to the relationship, trusts her partner to not abandon her, and yet also feels secure in the knowledge that she could handle it if her partner did leave her for some reason.
-----
IMO, XY made some progress towards addressing her issues and healing her trauma in chapters 31 - 32, 35, and 36.
In chapter 31, XY has a conversation with Tian Er that leads XY to realize that successful relationships require joint effort, and that she will need to communicate and contribute if she wants to have a successful relationship in the future. XY relays that to TSJ in chapter 32, and also breaks down in front of TSJ in her first real moment of emotional vulnerability with him. XY's initial instinct after that episode of vulnerability is to run (to leave and never see TSJ again). But they end up taking their first steps towards repairing and rekindling their relationship instead.
In chapter 35, XY finds out that she is Chi You's daughter and is officially disowned by the Grand Emperor. Another perceived abandonment. But XL comforts her and reassures her that the ocean will always have a place for her. And CX and the Yellow Emperor take steps to make the world know that she is still someone they care about deeply.
In chapter 36, XY gets to meet her mother and her father's spirit. She gets real closure for the trauma that most significantly contributed to her issues.
------
XY also has some setbacks. In chapter 43, XY is willing to let someone murder her so that she can join TSJ in death. In chapter 47, she tries to kill herself after finding out that CX is responsible for TSJ's death. When suicide doesn't stick, she tries to condemn herself to being the Royal Mother in chapter 49. And by the end of the novel XY hasn't really resolved the personal issues that led to those crisis moments. XL solved the problems for her by saving her life and saving TSJ's life so he could come back to her.
-----
In the last chapter of the novel, XY loses XL to death in battle (very similar to her original trauma / how she thought she lost her mother).
XY initially goes into denial and then, once she comes to believe that he really was killed, she mutters over and over again that she is fine. She drinks, rejects TSJ's offer of company on a stroll, and insists that she can sleep. After TSJ goes to bed, she gets up and mourns XL alone.
When the sun comes up, TSJ joins XY and asks when she got up. XY lies and says not long ago, but after some time she admits that she lied, that she was up for a long time, and that she couldn't sleep.
TSJ acknowledges that XY needs alone time to deal with her sadness and pain, and that he is eternally grateful to XL. XY allows herself to cry in front of TSJ, allows him to comfort her, and allows him to listen as she begins to vent and lament again.
-----
Chapter 51:
Xiao Yao’s face was ashen white but she kept muttering the same lie over and over. “I’m fine! I was already prepared…..when I first met him I knew this day would come! I always knew!”
Jing picked up the wine jug. “Then let’s drink!”
Jing poured the wine for Xiao Yao and she picked it up and gulped it down, the strong wine giving her cheeks a red flush.
The sky gradually darkened.
Jing said, “If you don’t want to rest, I can accompany you for a stroll outside.”
Xiao Yao staggered to the pallet, “I can fall asleep.”
Jing could tell she was trying to battle herself so he didn’t say more and released the curtains for her to rest.
Xiao Yao breathed evenly in and didn’t move, appearing to fall into a slumber.
In the middle of the night, Xiao Yao’s eyes opened wide and she stared at the beams on the ceiling.
She quietly got up and looked at Jing sleeping calmly and felt relieved. She put on her outer robe and walked out of the room to sit on the jade steps.
...
Xiao Yao’s entire face was awash with tears and she lifted her head to stare at the sky.
Xiang Liu, why? Why? Why do you treat me this way?
...
When Jing embraced Xiao Yao from behind, she realized it was gradually sunrise.
Xiao Yao realized she was cold from being in the cold all night and Jing used his body to warm her. “When did you get up?”
Xiao Yao hurriedly wiped her tears and said with a twinge, “Not long ago.”
Jing softly kissed her on the curve of her neck.
Xiao Yao weakly leaned into Jing’s embrace and after some time she said in a low voice. “I just told you a lie, I’ve actually been up for a long time. I couldn’t sleep last night.”
Jing replied, “Don’t worry, even the most loving spouses need time to themselves. I know you are very sad and pained right now, so you need to be alone even more.”
...
Xiao Yao’s tears began to fall again and the drops landed on Jing’s hand. Jing said nothing and continued to hold Xiao Yao in his arms.
...
Xiao Yao kept talking and crying until gradually her words trailed off and she curled tightly in Jing’s arms and stared at the tall Phoenix Flower Tree.
-----
At the end of the novel, XY leaves Xuan Yuan for the ocean accompanied by TSJ, Miao Pu and Left Ear. She had three trusted companions, she was not completely broken by losing XL (his efforts to shield her from much of the pain that she would have felt if he had acted differently paid off), and she showed signs of being more emotionally honest and vulnerable with her partner.
It's not perfect, and TSJ hasn't dealt with his issues (and we can add abandoning his nephew / son-figure to the list of concerns), but IMO there are a few elements that are positive.
" Xiaoyao watched intently as the eight spiders spun silk and busily weaved webs. They were like the most dexterous weavers in the world, and they could weave an exquisite web in just a cup of tea.blabla100:
8 spiders, same as the fox that trapped her, who at the time had 8 tails.
Interesting observation. Koala's translation didn't capture that detail.
There are a few more 8s related to TSJ, although some are probably coincidental.
From what I can gather, the full list is:
- Shi Qi = Seventeen = 17 --> 1 + 7 = 8
- When TSJ's fiancée arrives in QS town in chapter 7, her carriage is followed by eight tall men.
- TSH was born eight days before TSJ.
- When the fox (likely a Tushan clan relative) captured XY the first time, Chi You cut off one of his nine tails. So the second time the fox captured XY and held her captive for 30 years, he had eight tails.
- TSJ and XY are locked in the dragon bone prison (and TSJ gets XY to make the 15 year promise) in chapter 8.
- In chapter 16, TSJ sends XY nine bottles of plumb wine. Since he stops communicating with XY for 16 months (8 months x 2) and XY doesn't want to drink the last bottle until she receives more, those nine bottles become eight empty bottles and one full bottle for a long time.
- Several of XY's uncles are killed, but her Eighth Uncle is locked up forever.
- In chapter 36, TSJ deploys eight spiders to build a web hammock, and each spider has eight legs.
-----
Chapter 4:
“He should have killed me the moment he caught me. But he was consumed by hatred and greed. He used various special creatures to feed to me, forcing me to eat many disgusting things, all so that he could make me nice and plump before eating me. He intended to use my mythical blood to help him recover his lost powers……Oh, I forgot to tell you, he wasn’t a Nine-tailed fox by then, just an eight tail since he got a tail cut off so his powers were severely depleted. He raised me for thirty years and right when he was about to partake of the victory, one day he accidentally got drunk in front of me.”
-----
Chapter 7:
A carriage rumbled past with a window decorated oddly – with a golden arrow embroidered on it. Eight tall men followed behind the carriage, all carrying bows and arrows, giving off an imposing presence. Even the most brazen hooligans stood silently staring, everyone on the street quieting down to observe.
The second Jing saw the carriage, the laughter disappeared from his eyes.
...
The way Jing looked suddenly made Xiao Liu remember the connection. He turned his head away and asked Xuan in a low voice “Was that the Tu Shan family future second daughter-in-law?”
-----
Chapter 8:
My brother finally broke down and cried and asked why she played favorites. She raged at him and said that he could not match up to me, that he had a disgusting heart and mind, that he couldn’t even compare to one toe on my foot. She died shortly thereafter and I was very sad, but felt my brother was even more sad. He didn’t just lose a mother, he lost any chance of getting her acceptance. When she died he started to drink and told everyone that it was enough there was one Tu Shan Jing in this world, there was no need for a pathetic useless Tu Shan Hou. Our grandmother didn’t want him to kill himself so finally told the truth. He wasn’t my mother’s son, he was born of our father and a maid. The maid killed herself after she gave birth to him. Because he was born 8 days before me, our grandmother made the announcement that we were twins. After he heard this he stopped drinking and started getting a grip on himself. I felt very bad towards him so treated him very well and that made our grandmother happy and she complimented me often for being so caring. She told my brother to help me always. After my mother died four years, grandmother decided to have my wedding and announce to the world that I would be the clan leader. One day, my brother came to see me and asked to talk. I went with him without any suspicion, and when I woke up I was in a deep dark jail cell, my powers sealed, my limbs in dragon bone chains.”
...
“Xiao Liu….I……I know I am engaged and have no right to say this to you…..and I never dared to….but…….I will call off the engagement, I will call off the engagement! You wait for me for twenty years….no…..no, fifteen years. You give Tu Shan Jing fifteen years, and after fifteen years I’ll give you back a Ye Shi Qi.”
Xiao Liu asked, “How do you want me to wait?”
“You…..you won’t let another man……into your heart.”
...
Shi Qi asked, “So you’re agreeing? Let’s make a palm promise.”
Xiao Liu lazily raised her palm and Shi Qi felt where it was and then solemnly pressed his palm on hers.
-----
Chapter 16:
From their Ying Province island parting until now, it had gone from Winter to Summer and half a year had passed. Jing only contacted Xiao Yao once, to thank Zhuan Xu for his hospitality and in the thank you gift package there were nine bottles of green plum wine. Zhuan Xu might not know what was meant for Xiao Yao in the gift package but he guessed it wasn’t all meant for him. He got the present and called Xiao Yao over. “I don’t understand your secret language. You go pick it out.”
Xiao Yao picked out the nine bottles of plum wine all in white jade bottles with a row of red plum blossoms. They were very ordinary bottles but Xiao Yao felt a warmth surrounding her.
Those nine bottles accompanied Xiao Yao from Five Gods Mountain to Cao Yun Court in Xuan Yuan Mountain.
The plum wine, Xiao Yao drank it slowly until she had only one bottle left. She was reluctant to drink it and held on to it while putting the eight finished bottles away.
-----
Chapter 27:
Xiao Yao stifled a laugh, “If you can’t determine the truth, will he be locked up forever like my Eighth Uncle, or killed like my Sixth Uncle?”
-----
Chapter 36:
璟却拿出一个一尺长的玉筒，拧开盖子，几只蜘蛛爬出来，挥舞着八只脚，在树与树之间忙碌。
小夭辨认了一下：“盘丝蛛？你要纺纱吗？”大荒内，和鲛绡齐名的盘丝纱就是用盘丝蛛吐出的蛛丝纺成，薄如蝉翼，柔若流云，水火不伤，刀砍不断，十分珍贵。
璟飞跃到小夭身旁，揽住她，将带着寒意的山风挡在外面：“这是我小时养的盘丝蛛，不过养它们可不是为了纺纱。”
小夭目不转睛地看着，八只蜘蛛一边吐丝，一边忙忙碌碌地织网，它们就如世间最灵巧的织女，不过一盏茶工夫，一张精巧的网就织好了。
八只蜘蛛向着璟爬来，璟给它们各喂了一滴玉髓，八只蜘蛛好像很满意，摇摇晃晃地爬回玉筒里。
小夭打量着蛛网，不知道璟用什么常年喂养盘丝蛛，它们吐出的蛛丝是海蓝色。这张海蓝色的蛛网呈八卦形，八个角与树桠相连，中间悬空，蛛丝横竖有序，呈细密的格纹，却又一圈圈交缠，犹如涟漪，朦胧的星光下，整张蛛网好似一匹精美无比的蓝色绸缎。
Jing took out a one-foot-long jade tube and unscrewed the lid. Several spiders crawled out, waving their eight legs, and were busy between the trees.
Xiaoyao identified it: "Spinning silk spider? Do you want to spin?" In the wilderness, the spinning yarn, which is as famous as the shark's yarn, is spun from the silk spun by the spinning spider. It is as thin as a cicada's wing and as soft as a flowing cloud, invulnerable to fire and water, can be cut with a knife, very precious.
Jing flew to Xiaoyao's side, hugged her, and blocked out the chilly mountain wind: "These are the silk spiders I raised when I was a child, but they were not raised for spinning yarn."
Xiaoyao watched intently as the eight spiders spun silk and busily weaved webs. They were like the most dexterous weavers in the world. They could weave an exquisite web in just a teacup.
Eight spiders crawled toward Jing, and Jing fed them each a drop of chalcedony. The eight spiders seemed satisfied and crawled back into the jade tube staggeringly.
Xiaoyao looked at the spider web and wondered what Jing used to feed the silk spiders all year round. The silk they spewed was sea blue. This sea-blue spider web is in the shape of a trigram, with eight corners connected to the tree branches, and suspended in the middle. The spider webs are arranged horizontally and vertically, in a fine grid pattern, but intertwined in circles, like ripples. Under the dim starlight, the entire web is the spider web looks like a piece of exquisite blue satin.
1 hour agoAH :
blabla100:
" Xiaoyao watched intently as the eight spiders spun silk and busily weaved webs. They were like the most dexterous weavers in the world, and they could weave an exquisite web in just a cup of tea.
8 spiders, same as the fox that trapped her, who at the time had 8 tails.
Interesting observation. Koala's translation didn't capture that detail.
There are a few more 8s related to TSJ, although some are probably coincidental.
From what I can gather, the full list is:
Shi Qi = Seventeen = 17 --> 1 + 7 = 8
When TSJ's fiancée arrives in QS town in chapter 7, her carriage is followed by eight tall men.
TSH was born eight days before TSJ.
When the fox (likely a Tushan clan relative) captured XY the first time, Chi You cut off one of his nine tails. So the second time the fox captured XY and held her captive for 30 years, he had eight tails.
TSJ and XY are locked in the dragon bone prison (and TSJ gets XY to make the 15 year promise) in chapter 8.
In chapter 16, TSJ sends XY nine bottles of plumb wine. Since he stops communicating with XY for 16 months (8 months x 2) and XY doesn't want to drink the last bottle until she receives more, those nine bottles become eight empty bottles and one full bottle for a long time.
Several of XY's uncles are killed, but her Eighth Uncle is locked up forever.
In chapter 36, TSJ deploys eight spiders to build a web hammock, and each spider has eight legs.
When I checked the original text in Chinese, I realised that Kaola skipped translating the detail of the the spinning process by the 8 spiders. I also wondered why TH used 8 spiders. There must be a reason that she describled the spider web so detail. Thus, I chose to take the google translation for the excerpt (in English) instead of using Kaola translation.
Thank you @Blabla100 for pointing out the connection of 8 spiders and 8-tailed fox demon who imprisoned XY for 30 years.
Thank @AH for listing some extra information about connection between Jing and number 8. I remember someone had mentioned that Shi Qi = 17 = 8 + 9 (total tail of Jing and that fox demon).
This sea-blue spider web is in the shape of a trigram, with eight corners connected to the tree branches, and suspended in the middle. The spider webs are arranged horizontally and vertically, in a fine grid pattern, but intertwined in circles, like ripples.
When I read the post by @Blabla100 this morning, the only image emerged in my head is 八卦 - Baqua which is a set of symbolic signs created by ancient Chinese; the Eight Triagrams (eight combinations of three whole or broken lines formerly used in divination)[ wiki-baqua]. I imagine that the spider web would look similar to Baqua diagram. The below image is Fuxi's "Early Heaven Bagua" which might be dated back to Fuxi legend era
 |  64 Hexagrams |
In Fengshui, the Fuxi's "Early Heaven Baqua" is used for burial site.
The 8 spiders with 8 legs/spider --> 64 legs in total represents the 64 hexagram. The blue color of the web corresponds to the south east direction which link to the daughter in the family relationship
Then the next thing that popped in my head is the novel "Journey to the west" in which the Monkey was punished in Laozi's furnace. Baqua lu.
The beginning of chapter seven sees Sun Wukong transported to the realm above to be executed for his rebellion against the primacy of heaven. However, his immortal body proves impervious to blades, fire, and lightning. Laozi theorizes Monkey’s extreme invulnerability is the result of having consumed large quantities of immortal peaches, wine, and elixir that were later refined in his stomach into “a solid single mass”. The Daoist god goes onto to suggest that the demon be subjected to his Brazier of Eight Trigrams (Bagua lu, 八卦爐) in order to separate the elixir and make his subsequently weakened body susceptible to death
And actually, XY had mentioned thatlife is like furnace in chapter 8
桑甜儿渴望着一个男人去拯救她，可其实男人根本不能拯救她，男人给了桑甜儿几滴蜜，把一种痛苦变成了另一种痛苦。生活对桑甜儿而言，就是个火炉，日日炙烤得她很痛苦，男人看似抱起了她，使她免于痛苦，可实际男人只是把桑甜儿的痛苦从被炙烤的痛苦变成了恐惧着男人会放手再次被炙烤的痛苦，两种痛苦哪种更痛苦呢？
Sang Tian'er longed for a man to save her, but in fact, a man could not save her at all. The man gave Sang Tian'er a few drops of honey, turning one pain into another. For Sang Tian'er, life was like a furnace. She was scorched in pain every day. The man seems to have hugged her to save her from the pain, but in fact, the man only takes Sang Tian'er's pain away from the scorching furnace. The pain turned into the fear that the man would let go and be burned again. Which of the two pains was more painful?
Jing-the spider "trapped" her-butterfly in a soft, warm web. She felt like a child, she did not have to worry or think about anything; she did not have stay alert as in the past while sleeping in the wildness. "She said with a smile: "It's not that you look like my mother, but...just like when I was a child, I didn't have to think about anything, I didn't have to worry about anything, I was happy every day ." The smile on Xiaoyao's lips gradually disappeared: Everything feels like a dream. I'm really afraid that I will wake up from the dream like before." . This exactly sounds like her thought of relying on a man in chapter 8
可被人抱着时，我因恐惧他松手，会用双手去紧紧抓他，会因为他给的几滴蜜忘记了思索。
But when I was held by someone, I would hold him tightly with both hands because I was afraid that he would let go, and I would forget to think because he gave me a few drops of honey.
The foreshadow of Sang Tian Er 's story once again reflects on XY's perspective about Jing. In chapter 8, she did not want to reply on any man. She hoped Jing would help her to return to her old style of living which she hid her fear behind the hard shell, and just needed companionship to talk with, to share sorrow and happiness etc in life. As time went by and they experienced and overcame some obstacles in their relationship, from doubting his committment to put her as first choice to fully trust; from letting him alone dealing with family matters to helping Jing solve the family issues, her initial hope laying on YSQ for companionship became the man who she could rely on. However, it also weakened her independent character and foreshadowed her ill behavior and attitude when Jing was missing before their marriage.
And the very fact that TH deliberately choose to keep him from growing as a character is proof that he remains toxic til the very end.
The minimal character growth that the author gave him is a real sticking point for me as well.
While I don't think of Jing as toxic or some kind of evil, bad person, I do find him passive and weak to the point of incompetence. His lack of character and helplessness do not instil confidence. His intelligence seems restricted to certain domains and he is hampered by his lack of will to act. Knowing what you need/should do is one thing, actually having the will to take action to do it is another. His failure to address the issue of Hou was at best naive, at worst foolish and stupid. Using kindness to excuse his lack of decisive actions is hollow. Personally, I don't think Jing didn't take action because he was too kind, but because he didn't know how to do so effectively, so he chose to bury his head in the sand in the hope that it would go away - like a darn ostrich. I don't know what's worse - being naive and foolish or being incompetent.
The thing is that there are many opportunities for Jing to improve and be "better", but the author chose to keep him helpless. Even the situation with his family matter was resolved with the help of Xiao Yao. This isn't an issue, but the way that the author chose to do this is an issue - having Xiao Yao use the beauty trap and "seduce" Hou. This has got to be the most metaphorically emasculating way that she could have chosen to do this and I find it hard to believe that she is not aware of the optic of this choice. And yes, there is reasoning in the novel, but surely she could have used another method that wouldn't look so bad on Jing. Jing got smarter afterwards, but right to the end she still has him being saved by his "love rival".
Maybe because the author loves Xiang Liu so much she didn't want to create a true rival for him, so poor Jing got repeatedly shafted. So many times I questioned if she actually wanted me to like him and root for him to end up with Xiao Yao. It's like she didn't want Xiao Yao and Jing to end up together, but she couldn't write a tragic ending for XY since Once Promised was already a tragedy, so she begrudgingly gave her this "non-tragic" ending.
Have you ever dealt with a person like XY, someone with strong emotional and psychological deficiencies? I ask because it is very exhausting and traumatic
Yes, being in a relationship with someone like this is very challenging. Xiao Yao said that Xiang Liu is not suitable to enter a girl's dreams, but frankly, Xiao Yao with her issues isn't a good candidate for a partner. If I was XL or Jing or any other man's friends and family, I wouldn't want my loved one to get involved with someone like XY. She has her good points, but in a romantic relationship, she is messy AF! Just asked poor Feng Long who got caught in the crossfire of her messiness.
I've also witnessed this same person consistently involving themselves with Jing-like characters, and codependency just throws off our whole family - it's drama after drama.
Yup. Watching them repeatedly making the same poor choices is exhausting. Kinda like how Xiao Yao agreed to that 15-year promise despised knowing that it was ill-advised and repeatedly returned to Jing despite his broken promises and various other shortcomings. Not everyone with psychological issues is irrational or erratic. Some are quite rational, but their psychopathology is such that they make rationally poor choices because they feel compelled to. They would even tell you that they know that it's not a good idea, and yet they still do it. Being adults, they are free to make their own choices, but it doesn't mean that their choices are "good". As their loved one, all you can do is pray and hope for things to work out, but often it's just a matter of time before the wheels fall off and then it's you who has to be the one to help pick up the pieces. Only for them to repeat the same pattern again and again.
I am not shy to say that this has a strong influence on my worldview of XY. I would also argue that it's fair game to draw in these kinds of feelings in interpreting XY as a character since TH has said that the choices in her book mirror reality. Hence, we can also conclude that, in reality, codependent relationships like YaoJing's don't end up in happy endings.
Our subjective opinions and experiences will impact our interpretation and evaluation of a work of art. I don't think there's anything wrong with that when it's within reason. I feel like those of us who have experiences with the Xiao Yao and Jings of the world may be less tolerant or patient with such characters in fiction. We've used up all of our tolerance and patience in the real world :-). And as you said, we've also seen how these sorts of things typically panned out in real life so we are less swayed by the crumps of character developments that the story gave us and that "non-tragic" ending of the novel.
P.S. I swear I'm not stalking you :-). Some of your posts resonate so I reply.
The one word I have for this is AVOIDANCE. AVOIDANCE. AVOIDANCE. We know that XY has "psychological deficiencies" due to her childhood trauma resulting in fear of abandonment. It's there in the text provided that you have basic reading comprehension and care enough to acknowledge it (this sentence is not directed at you AH :-)). And the author had made it explicitly clear in her interview.
Avoidance is the most commonly used coping mechanism for fears and anxiety because it works in reducing your fears. However, this is only temporary. Psychological avoidance is akin to an ostrich burying it head in the sand - ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away. Any therapist worth their salt will tell you that in the long run, avoidance perpetuates/exacerbates the problem, prevents you from living as fully as possible and eventually reduces your quality of life. The problem with avoidance is that it prevents you from facing your fears and challenges the erroneous beliefs that keep you a prisoner of those fears.
Yes, avoidance is one of her trait when dealing with loss, problems that she could not solve. There are several examples about her avoidance trait.
1. The famous resistance to answer the 4th question about “你最想和谁相伴一生？” - "who do you most want to spend life with?". ..."She would be extremely resistant to issues that she usually refused to think about, and her headaches were the outburst of her resistance."
2. After Jing got marriage, She could not accept that Jing would not be by her side and kept thinking about that which caused her trouble to fall into sleep. In her dream, she still "lived" with the sweet moments and she felt like she would rather live in the dream and never wake up.
She missed him! Her longing for Jing exceeded anything that anyone could have imagined, and it even shocked herself.
She thought she controlled everything so perfectly. Even if Jing left she could candidly accept it. But when it happened she realized that she thought too highly of herself. She could use her willpower to handle everything and control her behavior so she wasn’t angry, wasn’t upset, didn’t act out of turn, didn’t go see him, continued living as if nothing was the matter. But every night she couldn’t control her missing him.
One time she dreamed about Jing kissing her and it was as sweet as dew in her dream, but when she woke it was only bitterness in her mouth, even drinking honey water it turned bitter.
Xiao Yao didn’t want to remember and would rather not open her eyes and keep it tightly shut. All she could see would be them together and the memory was so clear and the warmth was still lingering on her lips. But everything was gone.
Every time she thought of him she would rather never see him or hear him speak. Everything about him no longer had anything to do with her. His presence would no longer be in her life. That kind of pain made Xiao Yao feel like she would rather live in a dream and never wake up. (Chapter 26)
First off, I personally don't think XY ending up alone would demonstrate her growing / healing. XY is already capable of being alone, I don't think it's fair to expect her to be totally happy and content if she were completely alone, and she is far too prone to extreme self-isolation. The narrowly-avoided tragic ending of XY becoming the Royal Mother of Jade Mountain (which would have involved XY dooming herself to being eternally alone) highlights that.
IMO, if an ending were to show a version of XY that had overcome her issues (or that had at least made a lot of progress on her healing journey), that ending would show XY in a relationship where she is comfortable being emotionally honest and vulnerable, communicates openly with her partner and contributes to the relationship, trusts her partner to not abandon her, and yet also feels secure in the knowledge that she could handle it if her partner did leave her for some reason.
Being alone and feeling loneliness are two separate things. The former is a physical state, while the latter is an emotional/psychological state. A person can be alone and feel perfectly happy, loved, and trusting. Loneliness can manifest even in a room filled with people. Throughout the story, XY never quite overcomes her sense of loneliness, and in her conclusion, I don't think she ever did.
WXL, with all her deficiencies, was at a state where she could overcome her obstacles. As Princess XY, she experienced a significant regression in her character, and I believe her worldview being narrowed to noble life, like a caged bird, contributed to this. She goes on this journey where she consistently takes a step forward, but in the next, her poor decisions pull her back another step.
I always wondered why she never visited her Qingshui town family because when she was with them, she wasn't actually lonely. Was she afraid of being alone one day when they pass on? Yes. But was she lonely? No. In the times when she was away, she often thought about how worried they would be if she didn't go home. These are the thoughts of someone who feels at home and has people waiting for them. It is unfortunate she never really understood that family and home are what you make of them, not just because they are related to you by blood.
I've been thinking a lot about what constitutes a tragic story, and even though TH herself declares it not one, the elements in her story fit the bill of one. Authors and artists might have another idea of their work, but sometimes its reception is the opposite of it. Considering that XY and Jing end up in a similar setup as to how they met at the beginning of the story is itself tragic, albeit subtly, with XL and CX bearing the most tragic elements.
I agree that for XY to truly heal, she needs to be comfortable with her emotions and communicate openly. She needs to stop lying, especially to herself.
Interesting, yellow emperor again. This is actually quite similar to the fragment where Yellow emperor calls XY similar to her mother în chapter 34, her mom had a long marriage without any wedding night,
Ah Heng and Shao Hao never consumated their marriage. From the first night, they made alliance agreement to help each other and once day Ah Heng could make the choice of staying with Shao Hao or leaving him. Thus, she also did not accept the Queen title if one day he became King of Gao Xin
Recent Discussions
-
Who Do You Prefer? (Korean Actors/Actresses Ver.)2 minutes ago - in halt
-
BL Drama Lovers Club5 minutes ago - axdxex
-
Last Korean song you listened?20 minutes ago - heartbeatuu
-
Last Drama You Completed? #22 hours ago - Dashing Empress
-
Most played song in your music library2 hours ago - Moonlight
-
Last NON Asian Movie you watched? #22 hours ago - Moonlight
Hottest Discussions
-
A Vincenzo and K-pop Fan from Turkey is Here!7 hours ago
-
Who Do You Prefer? (Kpop Ver.)2 hours ago
-
Last Korean song you listened?20 minutes ago
-
Last Drama You Completed? #22 hours ago
-
♥️Count to 7000000♥️30 minutes ago
-
10 dramas/movies with ____? #421 minutes ago
