@nathsketch I was reminded of a dream that XY has that I thought you might appreciate. Hopefully not in a traumatic way, but more like a satisfying confirmation-that-he-was-in-her-dreams kind of way.
This scene happens in chapter 27 after XL takes XY away from TSJ's clan leader ceremony to explore the ocean and hear the merpeople's song, and before XL takes her away from her wedding and asks her who she would most like to spend her entire life with.
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Zhuan Xu asked “Is your heart really like your expression, everything is over and done with in the past now?”
Xiao Yao was silent and softly said “No, when I see him looking so devastated it actually makes me a little bit happy. If he was like me, smiling and unaffected, then I would feel worse.” Xiao Yao sighed “I know it’s all over and I want to forget him as soon as possible, and I can say we are just nothing to each other, but deep down inside I don’t want him to forget me. I act like I don’t care but I won’t allow him not to care. If he doesn’t care this soon then I’ll hate him forever……….” Xiao Yao shook her head “Am I really sick to think this?”
Zhuan Xu listened and then said “You’re not sick, you just loved him for real.” He smiled sadly “Xiao Yao, I really regret it now. If it wasn’t for me wanting so badly to get the support of Tu Shan Jing, then none of this would have happened.”
Xiao Yao walked up to him “Did you forget? I saved him before you even showed up.”
“But you didn’t love him then. I’m the one who not only gave him the chance, I even created opportunities for him so that he could get closer to you step by step.”
It really was due to Zhuan Xu that she and Jing got to this point today – if it wasn’t for Zhuan Xu capturing her, she wouldn’t have asked Jing for help, she would have just switched her face and disappeared one day. If Zhuan Xu hadn’t locked them in the jail, Jing wouldn’t have asked for a fifteen year promise. If Zhuan Xu didn’t need Jing, she wouldn’t have gone back to see Jing that day because she had already severed the ties……
Xiao Yao pushed Zhuan Xu out and said with a smile “What happened between Jing and I, you merely created the opportunity, but I don’t regret liking him so why do you need to feel bad? Don’t worry, time will heal everything and I just need more time to forget him.”
Zhuan Xu turned around “Xiao Yao…..”
Xiao Yao muttered “Sleep now! So many people’s life and death hinges on you so you need to remain level leaded.”
Zhuan Xu said “Fine! You rest as well.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t torment myself.”
Xiao Yao closed the door and walked over to her pallet and laid down.
She knew tonight that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep unless she took a sleeping aid. She swallowed a few pills and fell asleep.
In her dream, she saw Jing with his son, but she couldn’t see his son’s face, only that he curled in his dad’s arms and called him sweetly “Daddy” while Jing smiled back.
Xiao Yao ran away as fast as she could and in a second she ran from Qing Qiu to Qing Shui Town. Xiao Yao jumped in the river and swam towards the vast blue ocean. She could see endless horizons and the joy of swimming freely, but she was so, so tired! Where could she go in this entire world? Fang Feng Bei appeared on the surface and he sat on an all white clam shell smiling at her with his black hair flying in the breeze. Xiao Yao swam towards him but in a second his hair turned all white and he became Xiang Liu coldly staring at her. White clam shell, all white Xiang Liu, it was like an ice mountain floating on the ocean surface.
The black-hair-him, the white-hair-him, closer and further away……Xiao Yao suddenly turned and swam towards land, as she swam her tears tumbled down like rain……
Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her. She touched her face and discovered that she was drenched in tears.