Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

Their relationship is complicated; not enemies, not lovers but also not quite friends. Like XL told her that are simply companions who've met each other and is enjoying their time together. XL will never admit it to her but XY isn't that stupid or dense either. She knows he feels something for her and he definitely knows she feels something for him. 

I think the dream scene brought forth the reality check that they aren't right for each other and shouldn't be showing up in each other's dreams or entering each other's hearts. The mermaid watching/calm shell scene (ch. 26) showed us that they both have mutual feelings. XY blushed like a middle school girl a few times thinking about the significance behind XL's shell to where her heart couldn't stop pounding... that in response made XL lose control over the bug and XY felt his heart racing as well. But she didn't push it and neither did he. 

I went back and reread some of the last chapters and I truly think XL was insecure. He's stable, strong and confident in his abilities to protect and defend but was always unsure and insecure about himself when it came to be a worthy lover for XY. He was afraid she was going to hate him for turning her into a sea monster like himself hence why he avoided her and ran away without hearing her answer. He also didn't want her to see his true demon form and that's why he told her to close her eyes (ch. 43) but she peeked anyways. I don't think he was mad at her for looking but was afraid that she was going to think he's hideous and ugly so once more, he tried to run away again. You know like wanting to show your crush only the best sides of you and not the ugly side. 

They are too similar in terms of rationality, logic, priorities, and love language. They want to protect the one they love without burdening each other. He couldn't give her stability and longevity since he has long made up his mind to die on the battlefield. His loyalty to his foster dad is greater than his love for XY but he still made sure that his beloved would never feel sad or worry ever again. And her love for him is deep in her heart but she will never burden her family the same way her parents did. 

Guys, I'm totally gutted.... when reading your excerpts from the novel, my heart hurts more and more for their doomed fate.  Ugh, the writing is so beautiful.  I think that's what makes their story so interesting - no clear answers, nothing directly expressed, things are implied, different readers having their own interpretations... not sure the characters even know themselves what their feelings are other than the fact that "their bloodline has decided for them" and so doomed from the start.

 tofuscramble:

Guys, I'm totally gutted.... when reading your excerpts from the novel, my heart hurts more and more for their doomed fate.  Ugh, the writing is so beautiful.  I think that's what makes their story so interesting - no clear answers, nothing directly expressed, things are implied, different readers having their own interpretations... not sure the characters even know themselves what their feelings are other than the fact that "their bloodline has decided for them" and so doomed from the start.

When I first finished the novel I cried so hard I gave myself a headache. Also when I read the epilogue. That's probably even sadder. I can't bring myself to reread it. 

 Feyre:

The epilogue is written in XL's POV. It was tragic and kind of frustrating. If only they both had the courage to fight for their love. 

Yes, his final thoughts upset me so much ??? I really wish there was some sort of a fix-it fan fic. Especially too because Tan Jian Ci's acting is too good. His eyes are so expressive and when this part comes I think I'll be in shambles. 

 Yara_B:

Beautifully said. She was abandoned by everyone who has ever loved her and for most of her life, she was afraid to open up or trust others hence why she said many times she only trusted herself. If a man made her life difficult, she would rather abandon first. If she found out about all that XL did for her, she'd probably be both sad and angry. That she wasn't worth staying alive for or worst fighting for but we know XY will never make things hard for XL. She'll never make him choose between her and the army. 

"That she wasn't worth staying alive for..." I feel like this is exactly how she would act which is why I know XL's decision in the end was the right one but I still selfishly wish she knew. Lmao. I've been battling myself on this so much because the way they acted in the novel and in the episodes we have from the show thus far makes sense but I can't help it. 

 Mina:

I thought it was a wooden doll with a big head and belly lol. But yes, like Feyre said, XY doesn’t know it’s from XL. XL made another character give it to her as wedding gift from that person.  Im still conflicted if denying the truth from XY is the most compassionate or tragic part of XL and XY’s story. 

It was a doll, but inside was a snow globe with a mermaid and mermain, which represented XL and XY. The mermain was looking in a different direction and couldn't be with the mermaid so a human had to be instead. Basically, they're the same "species," soulmates but couldn't be together.  Some quotes from the book:

Xiao Yao stared at the empty plate and her heart soared “The only person who can make poisons this tasty in the entire world is me!”

Bei laughed back “And the only person in the entire world who can appreciate your great “cooking” talents is me!”

Xiao Yao sassed back “It’s enough to have a true soulmate.”

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Xiao Yao didn’t move and continued to stare at the ocean. If it was possible, she really wanted to live like this for the rest of her life.

“Xiao Yao?” Xiang Liu stood before Xiao Yao. She raised her head to stare at him and smiled 

“Don’t you feel like today was a day we stole to spend together? That there is only now and no tomorrow!”

Xiao Yao ran away as fast as she could and in a second she ran from Qing Qiu to Qing Shui Town. Xiao Yao jumped in the river and swam towards the vast blue ocean. She could see endless horizons and the joy of swimming freely, but she was so so tired! Where could she go in this entire world? Fang Feng Bei appeared on the surface and he sat on an all white clam shell smiling at her with his black hair flying in the breeze. Xiao Yao swam towards him but in a second his hair turned all white and he became Xiang Liu coldly staring at her. White clam shell, all white Xiang Liu, it was like an ice mountain floating on the ocean surface.

The black hair him, the white hair him, closer and further away……Xiao Yao suddenly turned and swam towards land, as she swam her tears tumbled down like rain……

Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her. She touched her face and discovered that she was drenched in tears.

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Xiang Liu didn’t want her to know that when she was unconscious the things he did with her, and she didn’t want him to know that she already knew. Their embraces and companionship, just let it be buried deep in the dark ocean depths!

The clam shell was enormous and even with the two of them inside it wasn’t a tight squeeze at all. She slept here for thirty-seven years with Xiang Liu, would that be equivalent of sleeping in the same bed and sharing the same pillow? Those two merpeople saw the clam shell as their home, how did Xiang Liu view this clam shell?

Xiao Yao suddenly felt all sorts of thoughts and feelings rush up and her face burned as her heart sped up.

Xiao Yao chastised herself and tried desperately to control her feelings and reactions, but she couldn’t control her heartbeat.

 Just like that, Xiang Liu sensed it and looked over at her. Xiao Yao quickly said “I’m hungry! So hungry I’m all nerves!”

Xiao Yao’s face was so red it was like a burning sunset and she forced her eyes wide open to stare at Xiang Liu. His heartbeat quickened a few times and Xiao Yao sensed it. But then it was gone just like that and she wondered if it was her mistaken sensation.

It's undeniable that they are the soulmate in this book. Although their ending is not a happy ending but at least the quiet and remarkable love that they shared is worth living for. The love that only exist in the world that only they know. The love that can only exist in the realm of a dream. The love of a soulmate. The unspoken love, the indescribable sadness that comes with it. The kind of love that can't be spoken and must only be buried deep in their hearts. A love that aches and understands. A love that is filled with longing and solitude. A love with deceits and sincerity. A love that linked their hearts, two hearts beating as one. A love so divine, in its glory it soared. A love of lovers that are destined to live in two different paths. A love filled with hope and hopelessness. A love with continuous sighs of the past and of the future.  A love as pure and as cold as the snow. A passionate love that smoulders and scorches leaving only repercussions if it's ignited. A love that flows naturally and organically like water, the fleeting peaceful simplicity that they received from time to time. A love so unbreakable, so untouchable, so obscured just like the ice in the North Pole. A love of infinite solitude and infinite abyss. A love that can only reside in the vast and deep ocean. That's the love that only the two of them, the two legendary lovers, can quietly possess.

So the part we were talking about before about XL asking her who she wants to spend the rest of her life with is from chp. 32. I'm going to be including an excerpt from the conversation they had:

[*He asks her if she wants to marry Jing and she says yes.*

Another question was right at the tip of XL's lips but he was actually torn until a moment later he asked, "Who do you most want to spend your entire life with?"

XY opened her mouth to answer but her expression showed her internal struggle as her mind refused to let her say what her heart felt. After multiple struggles, she became more and more pained and her body began to shake as she clutched her head. 

"Hurt....Hurt...." 

XL had used his power to try and see into XY's heart but XY's mind was too strong-willed. If she encountered something that even she refused to think about, then she would unexpectedly oppose answering it and the headache was the result of her refusal to answer the question. 

XL was afraid that she would injure her soul essence so he didn't dare push her and quickly pulled back his probe and said, "If your head hurts, rest!"

XY wearily rested on the pillow with her forehead furrowed in pain. XL covered her with a blanket and XY suddenly opened her eyes, "Why?"

XL stared at XY and didn't know exactly why she was asking why about. Was it why he forced her to become a runaway bride? Or was it why he used his powers to probe the true feelings inside her heart?

XY gave up asking and closed her eyes to murmur, " I'm so hurting...Xiang Liu, I hurt..."

XL's hand pressed on XY's forehead and he said in a low voice, "You'll forget what just happened and after a good night's sleep it'll all be fine!" ]