AH :
She decides to leave Dahuang (where ZX now pretty much rules the whole world) and go to the ocean because of XL and her memories of him. Definitely not because she's already forgotten him. She makes the decision the first night after she finds out about his death. She spends the whole night crying for him and in pain. In the end she is weary and decides she wants to leave to explore the islands that XL told her about in chapter 26. XL reminded her that she could always return to the sea in chapter 43.

Yes, precisely. That's my point. Of all the places they could have gone to...

I don't think anyone doubts XY's love for XL. I personally think they had a forbidden passionate love for each other. They never get intimate other than the time of 37-year healing time in the underwater shell. Per the novel, every night he hugged her, cherished her, and put her to sleep with loving gestures. He talked to her gently and lovingly while she could hear it. Each full moon he transfered his heart blood to her. He had one heart, 9 different heads, and 81 forms. I think the first time he killed a head of him was for her at this time. With all his different 9 heads, he chose to give her the best and most loving head, his heart, and many of his forms with abilities to swim in and under the water in the deep ocean.

With all the above plus the love bug, XL and XY were deeply connected. I go beyond that, XL planted the best part of himself in the love of his life, XY. He was also worried that she might be mad about being more of a demon. Do you think our 9-head demon has fully died? No wonder she is in love with the ocean. Does it make XY a sinner with respect to Jing or make Jing jealous? IMO, not at all!

 Noush:
Do you think our 9-head demon has fully died? No wonder she is in love with the ocean.

Not you making me wanna drop all my work and drive to the beach at this very instant 😹

 Noush:
They never get intimate other than the time of 37-year healing time in the underwater shell.

There are several other moments of physical touch between them in the novel that I would call intimate. I've posted about most of them in this thread before.

 Noush:
I think the first time he killed a head of him was for her at this time.

Killed a head? I don't think he has to kill one of his heads from his true form in order to use up one of his lives. He still has all nine heads in chapter 43, well after using up a life to save XY in chapter 22. 

 Noush:
With all the above plus the love bug, XL and XY were deeply connected.

But I definitely agree with this ^^

 nathsketch:

Yes, precisely. That's my point. Of all the places they could have gone to...

The man who XL gives to XY (by saving his life, among other things) to be by her side (TSJ, of course) accompanies her to the place that, thanks to XL, she can always return to. ^^

So XL's efforts paid off and were not in vain.

 AH :

There are several other moments of physical touch between them in the novel that I would call intimate. I've posted about most of them in this thread before.

Killed a head? I don't think he has to kill one of his heads from his true form in order to use up one of his lives. He still has all nine heads in chapter 43, well after using up a life to save XY in chapter 22. 

But I definitely agree with this ^^

IMO, none of the previous touching moments were permitted to extend to intimacy mostly by XL till the 37-year time. 

On 9 heads, I probably take it like 9-tail fox form. So, XL had 9 heads and 9 lives not related, Yes? I need to know more about XL's lives, heads, and forms. AH, thanks for the clarification! 

 Noush:
IMO, none of the previous touching moments were permitted to extend to intimacy mostly by XL till the 37-year time.

In the drama, their physical touches are definitely minimized and either cut or less intimate than their touches in the novel. But even in the drama they have touches that feel more intimate than XL embracing XY's seemingly unconscious body. And since you were describing how their 37 years were in the novel, I assume the statement that they didn't have any other intimacy was about the novel. 

We can certainly have different interpretations, but there were quite a few instances in the novel where I interpreted their physical touches as intimate. Even if one were to view all of the bites, neck stroking, neck whispers, hand holding, and air-passing as not intimate, the multiple times where XY rests in XL's lap or with her body on top of his, the time where XL licks her bite wound to heal it, and the time where he lightly and quickly kisses her forehead.... I would interpret all of those as quite intimate. 

 Noush:
So, XL had 9 heads and 9 lives not related, Yes?

That's my understanding, yes.

@nathsketch I was reminded of a dream that XY has that I thought you might appreciate. Hopefully not in a traumatic way, but more like a satisfying confirmation-that-he-was-in-her-dreams kind of way.

This scene happens in chapter 27 after XL takes XY away from TSJ's clan leader ceremony to explore the ocean and hear the merpeople's song, and before XL takes her away from her wedding and asks her who she would most like to spend her entire life with.

-----

Zhuan Xu asked “Is your heart really like your expression, everything is over and done with in the past now?”

Xiao Yao was silent and softly said “No, when I see him looking so devastated it actually makes me a little bit happy. If he was like me, smiling and unaffected, then I would feel worse.” Xiao Yao sighed “I know it’s all over and I want to forget him as soon as possible, and I can say we are just nothing to each other, but deep down inside I don’t want him to forget me. I act like I don’t care but I won’t allow him not to care. If he doesn’t care this soon then I’ll hate him forever……….” Xiao Yao shook her head “Am I really sick to think this?”

Zhuan Xu listened and then said “You’re not sick, you just loved him for real.” He smiled sadly “Xiao Yao, I really regret it now. If it wasn’t for me wanting so badly to get the support of Tu Shan Jing, then none of this would have happened.”

Xiao Yao walked up to him “Did you forget? I saved him before you even showed up.”

“But you didn’t love him then. I’m the one who not only gave him the chance, I even created opportunities for him so that he could get closer to you step by step.”

It really was due to Zhuan Xu that she and Jing got to this point today – if it wasn’t for Zhuan Xu capturing her, she wouldn’t have asked Jing for help, she would have just switched her face and disappeared one day. If Zhuan Xu hadn’t locked them in the jail, Jing wouldn’t have asked for a fifteen year promise. If Zhuan Xu didn’t need Jing, she wouldn’t have gone back to see Jing that day because she had already severed the ties……

Xiao Yao pushed Zhuan Xu out and said with a smile “What happened between Jing and I, you merely created the opportunity, but I don’t regret liking him so why do you need to feel bad? Don’t worry, time will heal everything and I just need more time to forget him.”

Zhuan Xu turned around “Xiao Yao…..”

Xiao Yao muttered “Sleep now! So many people’s life and death hinges on you so you need to remain level leaded.”

Zhuan Xu said “Fine! You rest as well.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t torment myself.”

Xiao Yao closed the door and walked over to her pallet and laid down.

She knew tonight that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep unless she took a sleeping aid. She swallowed a few pills and fell asleep.

In her dream, she saw Jing with his son, but she couldn’t see his son’s face, only that he curled in his dad’s arms and called him sweetly “Daddy” while Jing smiled back.

Xiao Yao ran away as fast as she could and in a second she ran from Qing Qiu to Qing Shui Town. Xiao Yao jumped in the river and swam towards the vast blue ocean. She could see endless horizons and the joy of swimming freely, but she was so, so tired! Where could she go in this entire world? Fang Feng Bei appeared on the surface and he sat on an all white clam shell smiling at her with his black hair flying in the breeze. Xiao Yao swam towards him but in a second his hair turned all white and he became Xiang Liu coldly staring at her. White clam shell, all white Xiang Liu, it was like an ice mountain floating on the ocean surface.

The black-hair-him, the white-hair-him, closer and further away……Xiao Yao suddenly turned and swam towards land, as she swam her tears tumbled down like rain……

Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her. She touched her face and discovered that she was drenched in tears.

Love this, AH! Thank you ♥️

 nathsketch:

Love this, AH! Thank you ♥️

<3

I love, that despite their best efforts, he made it into her dreams times two!

 AH :
Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her.

I was thinking more about this. Not sure if the coldness is meant to refer to just the puddle of her tears or if it's perhaps meant to refer to the absence of a body. Maybe that's over-thinking, but I did the math. If XL slept beside her after every monthly healing session that's 12 x 37, so at least 444 nights together. If we add to that the night they slept beside each other in her bed, that's 445. 

And that's not counting the times that they sleep in the same room in the military camp or WXL's clinic, or the times that XY falls asleep beside (or on top of) XL while he stays awake. 

Here's one more dream:

The two of them aimlessly ambled in the ocean until Xiao Yao got tired and laid down in the water and couldn’t move anymore.

Xiang Liu asked her “Tired?”

Xiao Yao was tired and sleepy and murmured “I’m just going to close my eyes for a second.” And she promptly fell asleep. With the water as her cushion, it was soft but continuously moving so her sleep was being jostled.

A pure white enormous clam shell floated over to them and slowly opened when it arrived next to them. Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao in his arms and gingerly placed her inside the clam shell. He didn’t sleep and instead leaned against the clam shell and stared at the glittering starfish in the distance.

Xiao Yao hadn’t slept through the night for the past year and would even wake up two or three times a night. Sometimes she needed sleeping pills on particularly bad nights to even fall asleep.

This sleep was deep and restful and she didn’t even have a single dream. When she was about to wake up, she finally had a dream and it was one where she was picking stars in the ocean. The ocean stars were growing like mushrooms in the mountains and she plucked one after another and it was in all sorts of colors. She ate one and discovered it was sweet. Xiao Yao laughed happily as she picked more and she actually laughed out loud and woke herself up with her laugh. She realized it was a dream but kept her eyes closed to remain happily ensconced in the happy dream.

Xiao Yao opened her eyes and saw Xiang Liu leaning against the clam shell next to her, one leg straight and the other curved with his arm resting on it as he lowered his head to stare at her, a smile curving on his lips. Xiao Yao smiled and stretched and sweetly said, “I had a happy dream.”

Xiang Liu answered “I know.”

 Kokuto:

I love, that despite their best efforts, he made it into her dreams times two!

Yes, both versions ^^

And so interesting that FFB smiles at her and she swims towards him before he turns into the version of himself that is cold and foreboding and "someone who is never ever suitable to show up in a young girl’s dreams", to quote XY's words. 

 AH :

Yes, both versions ^^

And so interesting that FFB smiles at her and she swims towards him before he turns into the version of himself that is cold and foreboding and "someone who is never ever suitable to show up in a young girl’s dreams", to quote XY's words. 

She thinks FFB is what XL would have been without duty.  But he's a match for what XY would be without duty.  She sees XL as a cold armor FFB wears, and she also has a cold side, created by her fear of abandonment, that matches XL.  They really are soulmates.

 AH :
Xiao Yao opened her eyes and saw Xiang Liu leaning against the clam shell next to her, one leg straight and the other curved with his arm resting on it as he lowered his head to stare at her, a smile curving on his lips. Xiao Yao smiled and stretched and sweetly said, “I had a happy dream.”

Xiang Liu answered “I know.”

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SiW4whl6egE