“the one who is willing is powerless, while the one who is able to is unwilling”

so is the first one jing and the 2nd XL?  

Ahh baby…XL is willing willing willing ..and he does ..but uggh he had to ask for the 37 ammunition years…making her feel used again…but that’s his purpose so she doesn’t know he has feelings for her .::sigh ..such a tragedy …

But it shows her longing to be with XL ..

 Dramadoggy2021:
so is the first one jing and the 2nd XL?  

Yes. Jing loves and wants to be with her but couldn't because of his engagement and family responsibilities. Xiang Liu could be with her if he was willing to give up Hong Jiang and his comrades in arms, but he does not love her nor wants to be with her (so she thinks). 

 liddi:

Yes. Jing loves and wants to be with her but couldn't because of his engagement and family responsibilities. Xiang Liu could be with her if he was willing to give up Hong Jiang and his comrades in arms, but he does not love her nor wants to be with her (so she thinks). 

Reading this just makes me angry at XY.  Both of these are the SAME thing.  Jing can't be with her because of his commitments.  XL can't be with her because of his commitments.  She thinks Jing loves her because of words and promises that are lies, and completely ignores all the ways XL shows his love with his actions and worse, her own damn feelings.

I know she's afraid, but she needs to stop lying to herself.

 Kokuto:

Reading this just makes me angry at XY.  Both of these are the SAME thing.  Jing can't be with her because of his commitments.  XL can't be with her because of his commitments.  She thinks Jing loves her because of words and promises that are lies, and completely ignores all the ways XL shows his love with his actions and worse, her own damn feelings.

I know she's afraid, but she needs to stop lying to herself.

Yes, it's all the same thing. Why isn't this mentioned enough?

@liddi

Xiao Yao said, "I have no regrets. I have been wandering since I was a child. Although I appear to be carefree, drifting with the tide, I am actually very weary of wandering, and want to stop. However, the people I meet - the one who is willing is powerless, while the one who is able to is unwilling. Only you are willing to give me a safe harbour for me to stop and settle down. Thank you!"


There is an intriguing subtext to  Xiao Yao's description of the two kinds of people she met -  有心的无力,有力的无心 . The obvious meaning is:

the one who is willing is powerless, while the one who is able to is unwilling

 However, there is also a hidden connotation to her words:

the one who has feelings (for me) is powerless, while the one who is able to, has no feelings (for me)

Since she is describing two people she hoped she would be able to settle down with, it also implies that she nursed this hope even though she believes the latter has no feelings for her, which in turn is a testament to where her deepest feelings lie even if she would not admit it, since in her mind, it is one-sided. It makes it even more ironic then that she would still take the initiative to appeal to that person to take her away from a marriage she clearly did not want despite refusing chance after chance to cancel her marriage, first by Feng Long, Cang Xuan and even her father.  It also gives context to her mute refusal to answer Xiang Liu's last question when he probed her mind after forcibly taking her away from the wedding.


You know. It's hard to parse some of this, given how much LYING and denial XY subjects us to.  For example, when she talks TO XL, she talks about how she wants to wander the Earth with him and explore freely.  But when she talks ABOUT XL, she always goes on about wanting to settle down and have a home.  I think what she tells XL is true, given how that's what she and Jing end up doing.

And XY keeps telling herself and everyone else that XL has no feelings for her, but she KNOWS that isn't the case.  I mean, how can you tell a man you want to save him, and STARE at his face as he pours his heart out through his eyes, and is reaching to touch your face, but denies himself even that, and NOT know he has deep, deep, feelings for you?  You are almost crying at seeing that naked emotion, so don't tell me that you honestly believe XL/FFB doesn't love and want you.  Heck, I'm crying writing this and remembering that scene.

Which, of course, makes it even more clear how simpatico XL and XY are, that he can cut through all of XY's BS to understand what she truly wants.

And yes.  It's another sign of what XY truly feels that she turns to XL when she wants to escape the marriage to Feng Long.

Of course, if everything was unambiguous and the characters were straightforward and honest, we wouldn't STILL be talking about it, nor would we be so enamored of the characters.

@Kokuto 

"if everything was unambiguous and the characters were straightforward and honest, we wouldn't STILL be talking about it,"


So true. Too many "if only", too much that stays unfullfiled, unfinished, squandered... That's why we, poor unfortunate souls, still cannot grieve over how messy the story unfolded and ended.

Has anyone kept track of how many times:

  • XY has made a love declaration to XL?  
  • XL has made a love declaration to XY?

Seems to me that it is XY that was the most friendzoned/rejected.

 blimarch:

@Kokuto 

"if everything was unambiguous and the characters were straightforward and honest, we wouldn't STILL be talking about it,"


So true. Too many "if only", too much that stays unfullfiled, unfinished, squandered... That's why we, poor unfortunate souls, still cannot grieve over how messy the story unfolded and ended.

Has anyone kept track of how many times:

  • XY has made a love declaration to XL?  
  • XL has made a love declaration to XY?

Seems to me that it is XY that was the most friendzoned/rejected.

You mean shown?  Or opened up?  Because I don't think either has actually declared their love to each other.

 liddi:
There is an interesting excerpt in the novel, which takes place after Cang Xuan's coronation, when Feng Long, Jing and others came to congratulate him. Jing was drunk and started playing the song Xiao Yao sang for him on the zither, making everyone present uncomfortable until Feng Long sliced the zither in half in fury, and Xiao Yao knocked Jing out with a drugged wine. As Feng Long angrily carried out the unconscious Jing, Xiao Yao chased after him.

Ahh I remember this scene. Such clown behavior from that dude. Making a drunken embarrassment of himself and making everyone uncomfortable ???‍♀️(lol sorry I sound so mean)


 liddi:
Since she is describing two people she hoped she would be able to settle down with, it also implies that she nursed this hope even though she believes the latter has no feelings for her, which in turn is a testament to where her deepest feelings lie even if she would not admit it, since in her mind, it is one-sided. It makes it even more ironic then that she would still take the initiative to appeal to that person to take her away from a marriage she clearly did not want despite refusing chance after chance to cancel her marriage, first by Feng Long, Cang Xuan and even her father. It also gives context to her mute refusal to answer Xiang Liu's last question when he probed her mind after forcibly taking her away from the wedding.

That silent plea to Xiang Liu to take her away by gifting him that snow globe... waiting 7 days by the sea for him before her wedding to Feng Long. It makes me sad just thinking about it. I really do feel like she'd be with him if Xiang Liu reciprocated or maybe if she opened her eyes to his affection. It's always one step forward, and two steps back with him. He tries to hide his love by making their interactions look like transactions. He's content with just being her silent protector ? 

I mean "shown", like very obviously, quite direct:

XY: the "If I saved you" speech after the slaves fight in the arena, the poison snow globe, the flower poison delicacies, the tear pearl, every time she chased after XL and begged him and held tightly on him (on the boat, with the "richly dressed" man, on the beach), the waiting at the Dragon Bone prison before the wedding with Fenglong...

XL: the "why not quit being a princess and wander around with me", the forced kiss underwater, the slight kiss in XY forehead at Lirong's...

Uuggh. ..silent protector ..he doesn’t realize how it hurts not only him but her …

what s the point of this chenrong army for? Hundreds years what’s their point of living …dumb and he decides to be dumb with them ::.Why couldn’t XL  ask if CX become king to protect his army to live at peace..not just a mountain for grave …problem solved …he doesn’t need to be on different sides especially since she is not biological daughter of haolin king anyway…and he has spent hundreds years paying his debt to hongjiang…I want to squeeze hongjiang neck ..what an idiot …hundreds years fighting for no reason ..he and his soldiers can’t live a peaceful live …what’s the meaning of life 

yeah jing is all talk sweet talk business person promise things he could deliver …he says he willing give up everything but the moment his grandmother is sick he becomes tushanjing clan leader …isn’t that worse?  He promises but doesn’t deliver .

Hong Jiang.  The most hated character in Lost You Forever ... who hasn't even showed his face!  LOL!

But XL's situation with the rebel army is complicated.  I think there's actually a lot more going on there between the plains families and the rebel army.

 Kokuto:

Reading this just makes me angry at XY.  Both of these are the SAME thing.  Jing can't be with her because of his commitments.  XL can't be with her because of his commitments.  She thinks Jing loves her because of words and promises that are lies, and completely ignores all the ways XL shows his love with his actions and worse, her own damn feelings.

I know she's afraid, but she needs to stop lying to herself.

Ugh I remember this scene in the novel where Xiang Liu kisses her forehead and SHE DENIES IT EVER HAPPENED. Look at this:

She stared at Xiang Liu and the man before her was that dissolute wastrel but the moment she was about to become torn again a strand of white hair fell that reminded her exactly who he was. Xiao Yao softly stroked his hair and said “This place is not safe to stay, pay your respects and hurry off!”

Because she just cried, Xiao Yao’s eyes were extraordinarily clear and bright. Xiang Liu could clearly see himself reflected in her eyes so he covered her eyes with his hand “I’m off!”

Xiao Yao felt a soft coolness brush over her forehead, a brief touch that immediately vanished. Xiao Yao clasped her forehead in shock and opened her eyes to see the room was already empty before her.

Mistaken illusion! It was a mistaken illusion!

Xiang Liu vaulted out of of the room and onto the courtyard wall to see that it was dense fog all outside and nowhere he could go.

Lost You Forever Chapter 35

Xiang Liu kissed her forehead and she denied it ever happened thinking it was a mistaken illusion. She couldn't believe it happened. She's lying to herself.

@Elise 

Does the book actually say "Mistaken illustion!"

Not really surprised.  Like I said.  She repeatedly lies to her self and is in denial.  Her fear is so strong.

 Kokuto:

@Elise 

Does the book actually say "Mistaken illustion!"

Not really surprised.  Like I said.  She repeatedly lies to her self and is in denial.  Her fear is so strong.

Yep, that's exactly what it said

 Kokuto:

@Elise 

Does the book actually say "Mistaken illustion!"

Not really surprised.  Like I said.  She repeatedly lies to her self and is in denial.  Her fear is so strong.

She says that to herself twice and then stays in a daze in that room for quite some time (XL and TSJ have a whole conversation outside in the meantime) afterwards.