I asked two friends of mine, both old-school drag queens, and both with excellent make-up skills, to watch Cosmetic Playlover. Here is an excerpt of their conversation, edited for clarity.

MANI: Is this for real? This show?
PEDI: What do you mean?
MANI: Did we really just watch a Japanese BL about two gays behind a Sephora counter?
PEDI: Who knew? Who knew they had such dramatic lives?
MANI: What dramatic life? Apart from whatever’s going on with Natsume’s hair?

PEDI: That *is* a disaster, isn’t it? He stares at a mirror all day long... Did it not occur to him, at least once, to think, "hang on, my wig looks like it was sheared by a British dentist"?
MANI (laughing): The tall one, Toma, is it? His ain’t much better. But he’s so gorgeous that he can get away with it. He can get away with anything.
PEDI: He does.
MANI: By the way, in what world does a former supermodel work behind a makeup counter? Can you imagine Naomi Campbell working for Chanel at Macy's or Harrod's?

PEDI: Or Romy Féerique... Fun fact. Féerique is French for fairy. 

MANI: Now why would you know that?
PEDI: Because I’m a fairy, Mary.
MANI: Well, I'll tell you one thing, I'm not sure these two fairies deserve their own show. They are not funny, they are not sassy, they don't gossip... I'm sorry, but these are not interesting people. Beautiful, but not interesting. They take themselves way too seriously. And the show takes itself way too seriously.
PEDI: I mean, could the stakes be any lower? Let's face it. They're not doing neurosurgery here. Do you think the Gucci girl behind the counter has the time to take clinical notes on each woman who comes to her for free make-up? Also, silent callers? Hate mail? What is this, 2006? All because Mr Dimple Cheeks “poached” a “make-up client”. Who is this client? Sultan of Brunei?
MANI: If he did poach him, he’d be doing us all a favor. By the way, I don’t remember us taking an exam to become a “make-up expert”. Do you?
PEDI: Ummm, yes we did. Remember when we first went out in drag 20 years ago, and no one punched us in the face? That was the exam.
MANI (laughing): I mean, do people in Japan really take make-up this seriously?
PEDI: The straight women who wrote this thing do. I’m absolutely certain... certain... that whoever wrote the manga wrote the first draft by imagining herself as the female lead, and then replaced herself with Natsume.
MANI: Which, I think, is how most BLs are written.
PEDI: I don’t think we, as drag queens, are in any position to judge that.
MANI (laughing): No, I will say though, I was surprised by the heat levels in this show. The kisses were quite hot.
PEDI: Yes. But the villains were not.
MANI: Except for the one skinny guy who now makes a regular appearance in JBLs. He’s in Smells Like Green Spirit, and that teacher-student BL. Whatchamacallit?
PEDI: I know who you mean. He’s good. He served some real camp goodness. He's very good. And hot.
MANI: Toma’s brother?
PEDI: Not.
MANI: Remind me again, why does he come between the leads?
PEDI: I don’t know. I don’t remember. Something about their parents being in New York, and wanting him to run the family business... Listen, mama, there’s more drama between my fake eyelashes than the entirety of this show. Here’s the thing. If I was a hot Japanese ex-supermodel, and my family lived in New York, I’m taking Mr Dimple Cheeks with me, getting gay married at the Plaza, and buying an apartment in Chelsea.
MANI: Are you kidding? You’ll be catnip for the polyamorous gays. Sniffies will crash.
PEDI (laughing): Exactly. These two though, they wanna play husband and wife in Tokyo. This show was serving some very old-school JBL vibes...
MANI: Ah, the monologues, the monologues... Because, you know, characters in JBL don’t believe in talking to each other, but they’ll happily talk to us, invisible people.
PEDI: Yes! Then there’s the pushing against the wall, cartoon villains, the shy maiden trope...
MANI: Again, because if there’s one thing we know about same-sex sex in BL world, it is that bottoms don’t want tops to top them…
PEDI: See, I don’t get that. I can't think of a single bottom in my life who won't jump on a hot top when he sees one. Hell, even a mediocre top! I don’t get that whole patriarchal “you belong to me” crap either.
MANI: I thought that went out with All About Eve.
PEDI: This is All About Steve.
MANI (laughing): But I don’t mind the old-school vibe. It’s fun. Loved that kiss against the background of fireworks... Ham-fisted symbolism? So sexy. Also, I kept imagining myself as Sponge Bob Hair Cut, and wanting to be pulled and hugged by him and have my lips smashed. If that tall slice of meat were to come up to me and say, “you belong to me”, I’ll throw myself at him.
PEDI: Except you’ll cause an accident with those fake boobs...
MANI: What if it turns him on? 

PEDI: That means you've died and gone to heaven.
MANI (laughing): This show is absolutely ridiculous.
PEDI: And hot.
MANI: And ridiculous.
PEDI: And stupid.
MANI: And ridiculous.
PEDI: And surprisingly watchable.
MANI: Do you think Netflix will pay us to watch BLs like they do Trixie and Katya?

PEDI: Only if it’s a podcast.

Reader's Digest:
DO SAY: Maybe she's born with it.
DON'T SAY: Maybe it's Maybelline.