Question to those who read the novel. Does Xiaoyao have any romantic feelings for Cangxuan without her realizing…
I'd say that most fans agree that she only had platonic (albeit very strong) love for CX in her heart. But there are some moments in the novel that create some very slight ambiguity.
As a child, XY promised CX that she would marry him and they would be together forever.
When CX got married for the first time, XY had no happiness in her heart. She felt that this wedding of his was not what she had envisioned, and she recalled the promise she made as a child to marry him.
When it was confirmed that CX was going to marry Xing Yue and make her his Empress, XY felt like she was losing CX. When she thought about it, her heart hurt and she had trouble sleeping. Somewhat similar to some of the heartache and sleeplessness she experienced after losing TSJ.
When CX finally admitted to his feelings for XY, she cried and was afraid to be alone with him. She felt that she could not give him what he wanted. However, when XY found out that CX was responsible for TSJ's death, she was devastated because she considered CX to be her closest person. Someone she treated as one and the same as herself. Someone she would give anything to, even her life. Someone she had opened her heart to long before she opened her heart to TSJ. Perhaps all of that was only ever 100% purely platonic. Or perhaps there was a little bit of unacknowledged romantic feeling at some point along the way.
So there is maybe just enough slight ambiguity that if any reader really wanted XY to have had some romantic feelings for CX at some point (or they at least wanted to feel that she might have chosen to marry him if their circumstances had played out differently), they could concievably make a case for it to themselves.
-----
From chapter 38 of the novel:
When he met Xiao Yao for the first time, they didn’t get along at all. He was a boy but he couldn’t beat the rough and tumble Xiao Yao in a fight. He even tried to be sly and find a way to get rid of her. But gradually the two of them played together and when his parents both died it was Xiao Yao who kept him company every night. When he had nightmares it was Xiao Yao who kissed him on the forehead and vowed, “I will be with you forever.” He didn’t believe her. “You’ll get married eventually and leave me.” She hurriedly said, “I won’t marry anyone else, I will marry you and never leave you.”
From Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Sheng Nong Mountain, Xiao Yao accompanied him each step of the way. No matter what happened, no matter what state he was in, she resolutely stood beside him. When Yu Jiang tried to assassinate him, it was Xiao Yao who used her body to shield him. When he was in the hidden chamber detoxing from the drugs, it was Xiao Yao who endured the agony with him and was willing to be injured but wouldn’t use Jin Xuan’s suggestion to tie him up. She knew that if she suggested it then he would do it…..
-----
From chapter 26 of the novel:
Seeing [Cang Xuan] getting married, Xiao Yao plastered a smile on her face but had no happiness in her heart. They stumbled, they fell, they drifted, they fought, along the way her and [Cang Xuan] both grew up and now he was getting married. But this wedding wasn’t what Xiao Yao had envisioned.
In her memories: her Eldest Uncle’s wedding to the Sheng Nong Kingdom’s Princess was a lavish ceremony. She and [Cang Xuan] got in a fight, he said a married daughter was like water splashed outside. She remembered later her Fourth Auntie committing suicide, [Cang Xuan]’s nightly nightmares, her comfort that she would forever be with him. [Cang Xuan] said she would marry one day and leave him, she innocently said that she wouldn’t marry another, she would marry him.
-----
From chapter 30 of the novel:
Xiao Yao returned to her residence and laid down on her pallet but couldn’t sleep. When she lost Jing she felt that she still had [Cang Xuan] and no matter what happened she would never lose him.
But tonight she felt for the first time that she was gradually losing [Cang Xuan].
Years ago they held hands and walked up Cao Yun Peak, facing adversity that did not defeat them or make them give up on each other. But now they reached the end, there were so many things and people gradually forming between them that it naturally split them apart. It wasn’t that one wanted to leave the other or the other stopped caring, it was life being so merciless and unwittingly leading them to this point.
Xiao Yao felt her heart constricting tightly so she sat up and took deep breaths. It started with being sleepless but over time she seemed to have developed a heart problem. She knew Xiang Liu was being bothered by her right now.
All these years in the deep dark of the night, when she was at her most painful to endure moments, knowing someone was experiencing the same feeling made her feel she wasn’t alone. It made her feel like he was right there keeping her company and it comforted her a lot.
In the poison packages she sent him, she wrote in a letter apologizing for disturbing him and reminding him to go to Jiu Li with her when he had time. But Xiang Liu never replied and Xiao Yao didn’t dare mention it a second time.
Xiao Yao clutched her heart and slowly laid back down. After laying for a long time, she slowly fell asleep.
-----
From chapter 45 of the novel:
Xing Yue glared at Xiao Yao, her face exploding with hatred. “Xiao Yao, how dare you say you didn’t take anything from me? Everything I want, you have it! Now it’s only this much, what will happen when the day you want to be the Empress arrives?”
Xiao Yao angrily retorted, “You’re insane! I….I….how could I ever want to be the Empress?” Xing Yue laughed loudly. “I’m crazy? I’m the most sane person around! His Majesty sees you as important as his life, you are willing to risk your life for His Majesty! Now that Jing is dead, one day you’ll realize that you and His Majesty…”
“Shut up! Shut up!”
“Shut up!”
The first two were Xiao Yao screaming out, but the final “shut up” came from [Cang Xuan]. He was standing at the door coldly staring at Xing Yue before calmly walking inside.
...
[Cang Xuan] said to Left Ear, “You’re dismissed.”
Xiao Yao yelled, “No!” She was scared right now to be alone with [Cang Xuan].
[Cang Xuan] didn’t insist and instead sat on the pallet and silently stared at Xiao Yao. She looked left and right, like so many things around her was interesting, and did everything she could not to look at [Cang Xuan]. He was the opposite, he just stared at Xiao Yao like she was the only thing left in the entire world.
[Cang Xuan] didn’t speak, like he could be this way until the end of time. Xiao Yao licked her lips and said awkwardly “Xing Yue is mistaken, I…..you….it’s impossible! She must have misunderstood!”
“If you think she’s spouting nonsense then why fret over it?” [Cang Xuan]’s voice was calm without a ripple.
Xiao Yao felt a weight lifting and smiled towards [Cang Xuan], who continued to stare unblinking at her. In the darkness of his eyes there were two little hers, and an endless abyss of sadness like the darkest of night. Xiao Yao was scared, she wanted to run or hide, but she was caught up in that never ending darkness with no place to run or ride. She tried to smile and make things go back to the way it was.
Xiao Yao frantically said, “Xing Yue said I was the only woman on Sheng Nong Mountain who can see you every day. But she’s wrong because you come to Xiao Yue Peak every day to pay your respects to Grandfather. She said I spent the most time with you but she’s wrong, Xiao Xiao spends the most time with you! She says I can call you by your first name, but that’s also wrong since Ah Nian also calls you [Cang Xuan] gege. Xing Yue said I dared to hit you but that wasn’t my fault! You attacked Gao Xing and I’ve been a Gao Xing princess for hundreds of years. I can’t be expected to not react. As for the hem drying and shoe carrying, it’s really nothing since you did stuff like that for me when we were kids, but now you’re the Emperor so everyone is watching is all! I’ll be aware from now on and won’t let you do stuff like that…”
Xiao Yao’s voice started to quiver and her body was shaking, the smile on her face turning pitiful as if pleading with [Cang Xuan] to agree with what she said, to agree that Xing Yue was mistaken.
[Cang Xuan] didn’t accede to Xiao Yao’s plea, he looked down instead and stopped staring at Xiao Yao. So Xiao Yao grabbed her crutch and got up to run away.
[Cang Xuan]’s voice rose to break the silence. “When I heard Xing Yue, Feng Long, and Chang came to see you, I hurried here and arrived just in time to hear you ask Xing Yue why she wanted to kill you. I knew the answer and could have stopped her from answering, but I did nothing and allowed her to say it.”
[Cang Xuan] sighed painfully. “Xing Yue wanted to kill you which made me enraged, but as I listened to her talking I actually grew grateful towards her. The secret has been hidden inside for so long, and I’ve done so many heartless things, you wouldn’t believe it, the whole world wouldn’t even believe it, and even I sometimes think about how absurd it all is. Yet there was one person who saw the truth! So in the eyes of one person out there, I am so, so good to you. The Black Emperor [Cang Xuan] isn’t such a heartless person!”
[Cang Xuan] continued, “Xiao Yao, I thought that I could wait, I could wait as long as it takes for you to turn around and see me. But the more I wait, the more I lose hope. I’m so afraid you’ll never look back, or when you look back you’ll see someone else who isn’t me! You can see Feng Long wanting to marry you, you can see Jing being good to you, you can see how charming and interesting Fang Feng Bei is, but in your eyes you see me arranging for you to date other men, agreeing for you to marry other men, and even doing so with a smile on my face. I did it not just once, but twice……..”
Xiao Yao’s legs buckled and she weakly sat back down on the pallet, the crutch falling from her hand and landing with a resounding thud.
[Cang Xuan] kneeled down before Xiao Yao and placed the crutch to the side. “Every time I took a new wife, I forbade you from congratulating me. I am Xuan Yuan [Cang Xuan], from the moment my mom committed suicide this is the path I chose. I cannot say no to the marriage alliances. I can’t tell people I don’t want it, that I hate it! My only consolation is you not congratulating me. I decided that if I didn’t get your congratulations, then it means every wedding didn’t have your consent, and without your consent then it doesn’t count!” [Cang Xuan] smiled pitifully “Isn’t it laughable? The whole world sees it, but I still don’t think any of it counts, because none of the weddings got your consent!”
Xiao Yao’s eyes teared up as she remembered [Cang Xuan]’s reaction before each marriage. [Cang Xuan] said “In Xuan Yuan Castle, you laughed about me being so different from my parents. They only had each other in their entire lives, while I was marrying woman after woman. Then I thought I was really different from them, not because I have a lot of women, but because I knew I only wanted you yet was willing to give up that love to succeed! I even saw you smiling with Jing and being okay with it since we were still alive, and that was all that mattered. As long as you didn’t end up like Grandmother, Auntie or my mom, crying and in pain, then nothing else mattered! No matter if I had other women or you have other men, it didn’t matter at all! But later I realized I was still their son and just like them, I didn’t just want to stay alive, I wanted to stay alive with you! I want to welcome the dawn every morning with you, I want to have dinner every night after coming home from working hard, I want to build swings for you and push you on the swing, I want to plant phoenix trees for you, to watch the flowers bloom on it, to suck the honey out of the petals, to talk to you, to see you smile, to hear you sing…”
“Don’t say anymore!” Xiao Yao shut her eyes painfully as her tears continued to fall.
[Cang Xuan] remained kneeling before Xiao Yao and placed his arms on the pallet to look up at her. “You once sincerely wished that I would find the woman I want to marry. I already found her. Xiao Yao, I know you haven’t forgotten Jing, but I can wait. I am willing to wait until your emotional wounds have healed, until you are willing to marry me. I won’t ask that you forget Jing, I just want you to give a part of your heart to me. I just want a little bit, a tiny little portion, so that we can spend the remaining days of our lives together.”
[Cang Xuan]’s position was very subservient and his words pleading and pitiful. In his entire life, he always courageously fought for what he wanted, never then did he beg with such a low demeanor.
Xiao Yao continued to cry, not sure what she was crying about – that she loved but could not have, or that [Cang Xuan]’s love all these years could not have.
“Xiao Yao, don’t cry!” [Cang Xuan] wanted to comfort Xiao Yao, but didn’t know how to right now. He just tried to guess her feelings. “Xiao Yao, don’t cry, don’t cry… nothing has changed, only that you know I want to marry you. I’m not asking you to accept me, I’m willing to wait, even wait until we die, none of that matters to me…”
Xiao Yao flopped on the pallet, crying even more loudly.
[Cang Xuan] grew silent. He knew things had changed, and it was because he wanted more from her. [Cang Xuan] said painfully, “Xiao Yao, don’t hate me! I love you, that’s not wrong!”
Xiao Yao’s face was smushed on the pallet so her expression wasn’t visible but her crying decreased and she said, “I don’t hate you, I just don’t know… don’t know what to do… you go back now. I want to be alone.”
[Cang Xuan]’s hand reached out instinctively to comfort Xiao Yao but he pulled back, silently getting up and walking out with heavy steps.
Xiao Yao heard from his footsteps - a never before heard weight. She knew that she wasn’t the only person hurting right now. [Cang Xuan] hurt more than she did, he was even more sad. Xiao Yao started to cry harder again, once they were each other’s only support and comfort. Who knew they would be hurting each other today?
Xiao Yao didn’t want to have to avoid [Cang Xuan], like he said it wasn’t wrong for him to like her. But at the moment she didn’t know how to face him, so she tried her hardest to avoid him. When he came to Xiao Yue Peak, Xiao Yao would plaster herself next to the Yellow Emperor.
[Cang Xuan] understood what she was doing so he didn’t force her, nor did he let it go. He was still the same, coming to Xiao Yue Peak every day, talking with the Yellow Emperor and taking tea.
Gradually Xiao Yao became less nervous, and as long as neither brought it up, they easily fell back to the way they interacted.
One night, [Cang Xuan] chatted with the Yellow Emperor for a bit and was taking his leave when he noticed the moon was exceptionally bright. He turned to Xiao Yao. “Haven’t been to the phoenix tree forest in some time, take a walk with me.”
“I’m turning in.” The sun had just set and even Xiao Yao felt this excuse was beyond lame. [Cang Xuan] said nothing, silently looking at Xiao Yao for a moment before walking out of the courtyard headed to the phoenix tree forest alone. His figure seemed especially lonesome.
Xiao Yao watched his figure disappear into the phoenix tree forest like it was gradually being swallowed by the night, just like she was also being swallowed by the night, with no hope and no comfort.
Xiao Yao stood there in a daze for some time before bolting out of the residence and running towards the phoenix tree forest.
Xiao Yao stood under the phoenix tree bent over breathing heavily while looking around in dismay. “[Cang Xuan]! [Cang Xuan]…” There was no answer and no sign of anyone, [Cang Xuan] had already left.
Xiao Yao slowly sat down on the grass and wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her head in her lap. She felt sad, and confused, because the things [Cang Xuan] wanted she couldn’t give him.
-----
From chapter 47 of the novel:
“I want to know the truth. [Cang Xuan], did you send people to help Tu Shan Hou?”
[Cang Xuan] wanted to deny it but his pride wouldn’t allow him to, so he said after a pause, “It was me!”
“It was you!” Xiao Yao thought she had experienced every type of pain in the world, but who knew the most painful thing in the world was the person you love taking a knife and carving out your heart. Every part of Xiao Yao hurt, her insides, her bones, her skin, her head, none of the pain she experienced in the past could hold a candle to this. She was in such pain she wanted to die. Xiao Yao closed her eyes, unable to look at [Cang Xuan]. “Get out!”
...
Xiao Yao felt unsettled, like [Cang Xuan] was suddenly unfamiliar to her, or maybe it was that [Cang Xuan] to her, they laughed when happy, he carried her when she tired, he teased her when she pouted, he was a shoulder for her to lean on when she was in need, he could handle everything when she was in peril.
In Xiao Yao’s heart, [Cang Xuan] was the closest person to her, so much so that she didn’t differentiate between him and her. If he wanted something then she would give her life to help him achieve it. From Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Sheng Nong Mountain, whatever she had [Cang Xuan] could have it, including her life. She always thought [Cang Xuan] treated her the same way, that if she wanted something [Cang Xuan] would get it for her, that if she treasured something [Cang Xuan] would treasure it too.
But it was just her wishful thinking! So was she simply wrong about [Cang Xuan], or had he changed?
...
[Cang Xuan]’s tears fell and Xiao Yao saw it and smiled. “Gege, [Cang Xuan]…….I……..I forgive you! It’s too hard to hate you…….worse than cutting my own heart to pieces……I forgive you…….”
[Cang Xuan] cried, “Xiao Yao, tell me! If we could do it all over again and I held you close after we reunited on Five Gods Mountain, with no chance for Jing to get close to you, would you have picked me?”
Xiao Yao was about to pass out but [Cang Xuan]’s words took her back to the very beginning and it was as clear as yesterday, “When I was locked up in the cage by the nine-tailed fox, all I could think of was you…..all I missed was you….when you didn’t recognize me, I still used my life to save you…….back then…….there was no Jing yet………..” Xiao Yao’s voice trailed off.
[Cang Xuan] cried out, “Xiao Yao! Xiao Yao!………..” but he could feel only silence as her breathing ceased.
On Cao Yun Peak, they played during the day and slept in each other’s arms at night. They buried and said farewell to their loved ones, they endured the pain together……….Xiao Yao said her heart had turned cold into stone, but he remained the most precious treasure that Xiao Yao kept deep in her heart, in the softest most secure place. When Jing said he would give first and trust first to try and win Xiao Yao’s heart, Xiao Yao had already done the same for [Cang Xuan]. She didn’t like politics or care about the greater good, but she accompanied him back to Xuan Yuan Mountain and always protected him…..
-----
From chapter 49 of the novel:
Xiao Yao’s eyes followed [Cang Xuan] until his form disappeared from sight, as if watching the most important and precious part of her life vanish forever. Her body trembled and ached from the pain in her heart so she grabbed her chest with one hand as she leaned on Jing’s body for support.
There's debate about this, though AH laid out most of the information.I differ in opinion, because I don't think…
IMO, it could be both or either.
Maybe the bug was afraid of implanting itself on XL that first time, as WXL seemed to think.
Maybe the bug would not implant itself in XL because he had no love or affection for WXL at that point, because WXL had no love or affection for XL at that point, or both.
Maybe it was a bit of both the fear factor and the lack of love / affection factor.
In any case, I think we can safely say that XL probably did not love WXL at that point (when WXL first tried to plant the bug in him but failed), whether or not that was the reason why the bug didn't plant itself in him then, and that XL did love WXL later on when he willingly accepted the bug transfer - when the bug not only planted itself in XL, but did so very quickly.
WXL was able to plant the bug in CX and establish some kind of connection (one that transferred WXL's pain and…
No. Deyan is CX's 5th uncle.
Kokuto is referring to the Shaman King (referred to as the Voodoo King in Koala's translation of the novel) of Jiuli / Baili. The land where Chi Chen (XY's biological father) is from. The Shaman King is a master of poisons and related magic. He hasn't appeared in the drama yet.
WXL was able to plant the bug in CX and establish some kind of connection (one that transferred WXL's pain and…
A few minor points of clarification.
We never see XL get any information about the bugs in the novel, and the information that XY got about the bugs from the Shaman King in the novel was a bit different than the information that XL got from Lirong Ji in the drama.
XL sacrificed one life to kill the bugs in the novel. He sacrificed two lives to kill them in the leaked script.
WXL was able to plant the bug in CX and establish some kind of connection (one that transferred WXL's pain and…
In the novel, under normal circumstances the bugs could never be removed and the bug connection could never be broken. It would remain until one of the hosts died and then the bug connection would cause the other host to die at the same time.
XL was only able to break the bug connection because he had an extra life to spare to lure out and kill the bugs. In order to do so he had to perform a blood ritual that involved cutting XY's palm. But he healed her hand immediately after finishing the ritual and apart from that she was not harmed.
XL, however, had to stab himself in the heart in order to kill the bugs, in addition to sacrificing one of his extra lives. So yes, I would say it had a negative impact on him.
-----
Chapter 48:
Xiang Liu sat down next to the raft and stared at the sleeping Xiao Yao before softly saying, “The tree grows old on land together, the mandarin ducks die together in the water – the Lover’s Bug connects heart to heart and our lives, and there truly is no way to remove the bug. Years ago I was only able to remove the bug from [Cang Xuan] because he didn’t know it was you so he didn’t willingly accept the bug. So you never successfully planted the bug on him in the first place. But I….I was heart and soul willing, so the bug successfully planted in me. You asked me to remove the bug and I kept telling you I can’t do it, but you didn’t believe me. But I truly didn’t lie to you, I cannot remove the bug.”
Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao’s hand and used his finger as a knife to slice into the flesh of her palm and his palm back and forth until he drew a blood spell. “I cannot remove the bug, but I can kill the bug!”
Xiang Liu smiled before joining his bloody palm to Xiao Yao’s bloody palm, so tightly that the blood flowing wasn’t clear whether it was his or hers. “Don’t blame me for not telling you this before, you were the one who did not ask!”
Xiang Liu started to chant the spell and with it countless glowing blue dots appeared and flew around both of them. The blue dots lit up the night sky until it was an ethereal beauty of lights in the air and reflected in the lake surface.
Xiang Liu’s hand suddenly grabbed a real dagger made from ice and he stabbed it directly into his own heart. Sir Bi gasped out loud and had to force himself to not do anything.
Xiang Liu pulled out the dagger and blood gushed from the wound in his chest. All the blue dots rushed into the wound in his chest until they all vanished inside.
After all the blue dots were gone, Xiang Liu’s face was stark white and he pressed down with one hand on his chest wound, and the other grabbed medicine but he didn’t apply it to himself and instead applied it on Xiao Yao’s hand. The cuts on her hand quickly healed until there was no sign it was ever injured.
Xiang Liu smiled sadly and said to Xiao Yao, “I broke the bug connection between us! From now on, you and I will have no connection with each other!”
Xiang Liu gently pushed the raft towards Sir Bi. “She will wake up tomorrow morning.”
Sir Bi understood what happened – the heart-and-life-connected Lover’s Bug was planted between Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, which is why Xiang Liu could save Xiao Yao’s life earlier. Xiang Liu managed to now break the bug by using his own life as the lure to kill the bugs. It was a suicidal method, but a method that only Nine Lives Xiang Liu could use by taking one of his lives.
-----
Edit: To answer the updated version of your comment: XY knew that the bugs were Lovers Bugs and was told what that meant. Out loud it seemed like she was never willing to totally admit it what the bugs meant (in terms of the feelings between her and XL), but whether she admitted it internally or not is left up to the reader to interpret.
She did not know that XL was responsible for breaking the bug connection or that he sacrificed one of his lives to do so. She was told that the Royal Mother of Jade Mountain was the one who broke the connection / removed the bug from her.
WXL was able to plant the bug in CX and establish some kind of connection (one that transferred WXL's pain and…
You're welcome!
In the novel, it was very strongly implied that XY would die if XL died while the two of them were still connected by the Lovers Bugs.
Major spoilers ahead.... for that reason, XL made sure to break the bug connection between them (by sacrificing one of his extra lives to lure out the bugs and kill them) before he died on the battlefield at the end of the novel.
Could i confirm something from S1 on the love bug please...Initially when Xiaoliu wana plant the bug into Xiangliu…
WXL was able to plant the bug in CX and establish some kind of connection (one that transferred WXL's pain and sensations to CX) even though CX didn't know that the bug was being planted in him or that it was being planted by WXL/XY. At that time CX had no love for WXL. Perhaps the bug would have been able to detect his love for XY and know that WXL was XY (even though CX did not). However, as we will find out later in the drama (if it follows chapter 48 of the novel and the corresponding scene in the leaked script), CX did not willingly accept the bug. So it was not "successfully" planted in the sense that it did not become a Lovers Bug that connected CX's life and heart with WXL's life and heart.
Whereas, when WXL transferred the bug from CX to XL, XL did willingly accept the bug. So it was "successfully" planted and it became a Lovers Bug that tied XL and XY's lives and hearts together. Notably, WXL was also surprised by how quickly the bug came to XL during that transfer.
When WXL first tried to plant the bug in XL and failed, WXL scolded the bug for being cowardly. My interpretation was that WXL failed to plant the bug that first time and scolded it because the bug was afraid of XL at a point in time when he did not willingly call it / accept it. The bug did not have the same concern with CX, so WXL was able to plant it in CX against CX's will (although "unsuccessfully" in the sense that it did not become a Lovers Bug).
Then when XL called the bug to his heart later, at a time when he had feelings for WXL and accepted the bug willingly, the transfer happened quickly as the bug was no longer afraid of forcibly planting itself in an unwilling XL.
The show makes it very confusing in the first 20 episodes but the Xiyan King makes it clear in episode 21 I think…
And yet, in S1 Ep39, XY refers to CX as the grandson of the King of Xiyan and his Queen, Xie Zu, and says that she (XY) can only be considered "half".
Which is one of the reasons why (among the other inconsistencies mentioned in the thread linked above) I think the drama (the censored and re-dubbed version at least) is trying to frame XY's mother as basically the Queen of Xiyan's neice (or similar blood relation) and disciple (who she treated as a daughter and who the former King of Xiyan recongized as a daughter when he bestowed the title of Princess General on her when she led the Xiyan army against Chi Chen and the Chenrong army) and XY as CX's second-cousin (or similar blood relation) and the former King of Xiyan's "recognized" (but not biological) granddaughter.
In the novel, Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan are blood-related first cousins through Xiao Yao's mother and Cang Xuan's father, who are respectively the daughter and son of the Yellow Emperor (in the drama, the King of Xiyan) and his official empress, Leizhu (in the drama, the Queen of Xiyan, Xiling Xie). After Cang Xuan's parents died, Xiao Yao's mother looked after Cang Xuan (her nephew) as if he were her own child. Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao lived together for eight years after Xiao Yao's mother's divorce, and they referred to each other as 哥哥 (Ge Ge / older brother) and 妹妹 (Mei Mei / younger sister) even before Cang Xuan's parents died.
In the drama, some details have been changed (in some cases at the last minute, in redubbing) to make it seem like Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan are perhaps still blood relatives, but, if so, only distant ones (with Xiao Yao's mother being the Queen of Xiyan's disciple and relative, but not her biological daughter) and not blood-related first cousins.
In particular, they have made changes so that Xiao Yao's mother (Xiling Heng / Ah Heng) comes from the same clan as Cang Xuan's grandmother, the Queen of Xiyan (Xiling Xie / Lady Xiezu), so the two women are likely blood-related to some degree, but Ah Heng is Xiling Xie's disciple rather than her biological daughter. We can infer that Ah Heng was probably something like Xiling Xie's niece, in which case, CX and XY's parents would be first counsins and CX and XY would be second cousins.
XL uses poison to increase his powers. It's also implied that he enjoys getting poisons that are made "just for…
I would guess so?
He also uses his blood on weapons sometimes (e.g., chapter 46) and the more potent poisons he consumes the more impossible it is for anyone to create an antidote that would be able to combat his poisonous blood.
I'm not inclined to attack or write an essay. About the last point on timing, XL was physically the furthest away…
The only insight I can provide from the novel on that point is that it describes the assassination in its entirety, then it shows XL feeling the assasination and leaving the remanant army camp, then it shows CX sensing it and leaving his palace, and then it shows TSJ sensing it and the scene continues from his POV with him tracking XY and discovering her body.
Might be more of an editing choice to not intercut the assassination sequence with their reactions as they feel them?
Since we have nothing but time until new episodes on Monday let’s analyze what the *SHOW* says about the bugs.…
I'm not inclined to attack or write an essay.
About the last point on timing, XL was physically the furthest away from XY when her assassination happened. TSJ was the closest, had his calamity-anticipating ability, and his tracking ability. So he arrived first. CX was the second closest and he also had a similar ability - he can sense when a loved one is about to die (he anticipated both his father and his grandmother's deaths this way). So he arrived second. XL left the remnant army camp outside of QS town when he felt the assassination take place through the bug connection but had to fly overnight (if I remember correctly) to get to Shengnong Mountain, where CX's people had taken XY's body.
This is the translation for the last few scenes in the leaked script: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2904229&page=420#p2904229
This is the translation for the last few scenes in the leaked script: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2904229&page=420#p2904229
I'm not sure which pairing you're referring to?
As for whether or not the dream sequence from the leaked script ends up being reflected in the final version of the drama or not, I think we just have to wait and see.
This is the translation for the last few scenes in the leaked script: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2904229&page=420#p2904229
Are Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan cousins? CX address XY's mom aunt? Doesn't that make them cousins? So how come he has…
In the novel, XY and CX are first cousins. CX has romantic feelings for XY anyway. It doesn't seem totally uncommon in this particular setting. Feng Long and Xing Yue's father married his cousin.
In the drama, XY and CX seem to still be related, but not as closely as first cousins. Possibly second cousins.
3 
1 
1 
As a child, XY promised CX that she would marry him and they would be together forever.
When CX got married for the first time, XY had no happiness in her heart. She felt that this wedding of his was not what she had envisioned, and she recalled the promise she made as a child to marry him.
When it was confirmed that CX was going to marry Xing Yue and make her his Empress, XY felt like she was losing CX. When she thought about it, her heart hurt and she had trouble sleeping. Somewhat similar to some of the heartache and sleeplessness she experienced after losing TSJ.
When CX finally admitted to his feelings for XY, she cried and was afraid to be alone with him. She felt that she could not give him what he wanted. However, when XY found out that CX was responsible for TSJ's death, she was devastated because she considered CX to be her closest person. Someone she treated as one and the same as herself. Someone she would give anything to, even her life. Someone she had opened her heart to long before she opened her heart to TSJ. Perhaps all of that was only ever 100% purely platonic. Or perhaps there was a little bit of unacknowledged romantic feeling at some point along the way.
So there is maybe just enough slight ambiguity that if any reader really wanted XY to have had some romantic feelings for CX at some point (or they at least wanted to feel that she might have chosen to marry him if their circumstances had played out differently), they could concievably make a case for it to themselves.
-----
From chapter 38 of the novel:
When he met Xiao Yao for the first time, they didn’t get along at all. He was a boy but he couldn’t beat the rough and tumble Xiao Yao in a fight. He even tried to be sly and find a way to get rid of her. But gradually the two of them played together and when his parents both died it was Xiao Yao who kept him company every night. When he had nightmares it was Xiao Yao who kissed him on the forehead and vowed, “I will be with you forever.” He didn’t believe her. “You’ll get married eventually and leave me.” She hurriedly said, “I won’t marry anyone else, I will marry you and never leave you.”
From Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Sheng Nong Mountain, Xiao Yao accompanied him each step of the way. No matter what happened, no matter what state he was in, she resolutely stood beside him. When Yu Jiang tried to assassinate him, it was Xiao Yao who used her body to shield him. When he was in the hidden chamber detoxing from the drugs, it was Xiao Yao who endured the agony with him and was willing to be injured but wouldn’t use Jin Xuan’s suggestion to tie him up. She knew that if she suggested it then he would do it…..
-----
From chapter 26 of the novel:
Seeing [Cang Xuan] getting married, Xiao Yao plastered a smile on her face but had no happiness in her heart. They stumbled, they fell, they drifted, they fought, along the way her and [Cang Xuan] both grew up and now he was getting married. But this wedding wasn’t what Xiao Yao had envisioned.
In her memories: her Eldest Uncle’s wedding to the Sheng Nong Kingdom’s Princess was a lavish ceremony. She and [Cang Xuan] got in a fight, he said a married daughter was like water splashed outside. She remembered later her Fourth Auntie committing suicide, [Cang Xuan]’s nightly nightmares, her comfort that she would forever be with him. [Cang Xuan] said she would marry one day and leave him, she innocently said that she wouldn’t marry another, she would marry him.
-----
From chapter 30 of the novel:
Xiao Yao returned to her residence and laid down on her pallet but couldn’t sleep. When she lost Jing she felt that she still had [Cang Xuan] and no matter what happened she would never lose him.
But tonight she felt for the first time that she was gradually losing [Cang Xuan].
Years ago they held hands and walked up Cao Yun Peak, facing adversity that did not defeat them or make them give up on each other. But now they reached the end, there were so many things and people gradually forming between them that it naturally split them apart.
It wasn’t that one wanted to leave the other or the other stopped caring, it was life being so merciless and unwittingly leading them to this point.
Xiao Yao felt her heart constricting tightly so she sat up and took deep breaths. It started with being sleepless but over time she seemed to have developed a heart problem. She knew Xiang Liu was being bothered by her right now.
All these years in the deep dark of the night, when she was at her most painful to endure moments, knowing someone was experiencing the same feeling made her feel she wasn’t alone. It made her feel like he was right there keeping her company and it comforted her a lot.
In the poison packages she sent him, she wrote in a letter apologizing for disturbing him and reminding him to go to Jiu Li with her when he had time. But Xiang Liu never replied and Xiao Yao didn’t dare mention it a second time.
Xiao Yao clutched her heart and slowly laid back down. After laying for a long time, she slowly fell asleep.
-----
From chapter 45 of the novel:
Xing Yue glared at Xiao Yao, her face exploding with hatred. “Xiao Yao, how dare you say you didn’t take anything from me? Everything I want, you have it! Now it’s only this much, what will happen when the day you want to be the Empress arrives?”
Xiao Yao angrily retorted, “You’re insane! I….I….how could I ever want to be the Empress?”
Xing Yue laughed loudly. “I’m crazy? I’m the most sane person around! His Majesty sees you as important as his life, you are willing to risk your life for His Majesty! Now that Jing is dead, one day you’ll realize that you and His Majesty…”
“Shut up! Shut up!”
“Shut up!”
The first two were Xiao Yao screaming out, but the final “shut up” came from [Cang Xuan]. He was standing at the door coldly staring at Xing Yue before calmly walking inside.
...
[Cang Xuan] said to Left Ear, “You’re dismissed.”
Xiao Yao yelled, “No!” She was scared right now to be alone with [Cang Xuan].
[Cang Xuan] didn’t insist and instead sat on the pallet and silently stared at Xiao Yao. She looked left and right, like so many things around her was interesting, and did everything she could not to look at [Cang Xuan]. He was the opposite, he just stared at Xiao Yao like she was the only thing left in the entire world.
[Cang Xuan] didn’t speak, like he could be this way until the end of time. Xiao Yao licked her lips and said awkwardly “Xing Yue is mistaken, I…..you….it’s impossible! She must have misunderstood!”
“If you think she’s spouting nonsense then why fret over it?” [Cang Xuan]’s voice was calm without a ripple.
Xiao Yao felt a weight lifting and smiled towards [Cang Xuan], who continued to stare unblinking at her. In the darkness of his eyes there were two little hers, and an endless abyss of sadness like the darkest of night. Xiao Yao was scared, she wanted to run or hide, but she was caught up in that never ending darkness with no place to run or ride. She tried to smile and make things go back to the way it was.
Xiao Yao frantically said, “Xing Yue said I was the only woman on Sheng Nong Mountain who can see you every day. But she’s wrong because you come to Xiao Yue Peak every day to pay your respects to Grandfather. She said I spent the most time with you but she’s wrong, Xiao Xiao spends the most time with you! She says I can call you by your first name, but that’s also wrong since Ah Nian also calls you [Cang Xuan] gege. Xing Yue said I dared to hit you but that wasn’t my fault! You attacked Gao Xing and I’ve been a Gao Xing princess for hundreds of years. I can’t be expected to not react. As for the hem drying and shoe carrying, it’s really nothing since you did stuff like that for me when we were kids, but now you’re the Emperor so everyone is watching is all! I’ll be aware from now on and won’t let you do stuff like that…”
Xiao Yao’s voice started to quiver and her body was shaking, the smile on her face turning pitiful as if pleading with [Cang Xuan] to agree with what she said, to agree that Xing Yue was mistaken.
[Cang Xuan] didn’t accede to Xiao Yao’s plea, he looked down instead and stopped staring at Xiao Yao. So Xiao Yao grabbed her crutch and got up to run away.
[Cang Xuan]’s voice rose to break the silence. “When I heard Xing Yue, Feng Long, and Chang came to see you, I hurried here and arrived just in time to hear you ask Xing Yue why she wanted to kill you. I knew the answer and could have stopped her from answering, but I did nothing and allowed her to say it.”
[Cang Xuan] sighed painfully. “Xing Yue wanted to kill you which made me enraged, but as I listened to her talking I actually grew grateful towards her. The secret has been hidden inside for so long, and I’ve done so many heartless things, you wouldn’t believe it, the whole world wouldn’t even believe it, and even I sometimes think about how absurd it all is. Yet there was one person who saw the truth! So in the eyes of one person out there, I am so, so good to you. The Black Emperor [Cang Xuan] isn’t such a heartless person!”
[Cang Xuan] continued, “Xiao Yao, I thought that I could wait, I could wait as long as it takes for you to turn around and see me. But the more I wait, the more I lose hope. I’m so afraid you’ll never look back, or when you look back you’ll see someone else who isn’t me! You can see Feng Long wanting to marry you, you can see Jing being good to you, you can see how charming and interesting Fang Feng Bei is, but in your eyes you see me arranging for you to date other men, agreeing for you to marry other men, and even doing so with a smile on my face. I did it not just once, but twice……..”
Xiao Yao’s legs buckled and she weakly sat back down on the pallet, the crutch falling from her hand and landing with a resounding thud.
[Cang Xuan] kneeled down before Xiao Yao and placed the crutch to the side. “Every time I took a new wife, I forbade you from congratulating me. I am Xuan Yuan [Cang Xuan], from the moment my mom committed suicide this is the path I chose. I cannot say no to the marriage alliances. I can’t tell people I don’t want it, that I hate it! My only consolation is you not congratulating me. I decided that if I didn’t get your congratulations, then it means every wedding didn’t have your consent, and without your consent then it doesn’t count!”
[Cang Xuan] smiled pitifully “Isn’t it laughable? The whole world sees it, but I still don’t think any of it counts, because none of the weddings got your consent!”
Xiao Yao’s eyes teared up as she remembered [Cang Xuan]’s reaction before each marriage.
[Cang Xuan] said “In Xuan Yuan Castle, you laughed about me being so different from my parents. They only had each other in their entire lives, while I was marrying woman after woman. Then I thought I was really different from them, not because I have a lot of women, but because I knew I only wanted you yet was willing to give up that love to succeed! I even saw you smiling with Jing and being okay with it since we were still alive, and that was all that mattered. As long as you didn’t end up like Grandmother, Auntie or my mom, crying and in pain, then nothing else mattered! No matter if I had other women or you have other men, it didn’t matter at all! But later I realized I was still their son and just like them, I didn’t just want to stay alive, I wanted to stay alive with you! I want to welcome the dawn every morning with you, I want to have dinner every night after coming home from working hard, I want to build swings for you and push you on the swing, I want to plant phoenix trees for you, to watch the flowers bloom on it, to suck the honey out of the petals, to talk to you, to see you smile, to hear you sing…”
“Don’t say anymore!” Xiao Yao shut her eyes painfully as her tears continued to fall.
[Cang Xuan] remained kneeling before Xiao Yao and placed his arms on the pallet to look up at her. “You once sincerely wished that I would find the woman I want to marry. I already found her. Xiao Yao, I know you haven’t forgotten Jing, but I can wait. I am willing to wait until your emotional wounds have healed, until you are willing to marry me. I won’t ask that you forget Jing, I just want you to give a part of your heart to me. I just want a little bit, a tiny little portion, so that we can spend the remaining days of our lives together.”
[Cang Xuan]’s position was very subservient and his words pleading and pitiful. In his entire life, he always courageously fought for what he wanted, never then did he beg with such a low demeanor.
Xiao Yao continued to cry, not sure what she was crying about – that she loved but could not have, or that [Cang Xuan]’s love all these years could not have.
“Xiao Yao, don’t cry!” [Cang Xuan] wanted to comfort Xiao Yao, but didn’t know how to right now. He just tried to guess her feelings. “Xiao Yao, don’t cry, don’t cry… nothing has changed, only that you know I want to marry you. I’m not asking you to accept me, I’m willing to wait, even wait until we die, none of that matters to me…”
Xiao Yao flopped on the pallet, crying even more loudly.
[Cang Xuan] grew silent. He knew things had changed, and it was because he wanted more from her. [Cang Xuan] said painfully, “Xiao Yao, don’t hate me! I love you, that’s not wrong!”
Xiao Yao’s face was smushed on the pallet so her expression wasn’t visible but her crying decreased and she said, “I don’t hate you, I just don’t know… don’t know what to do… you go back now. I want to be alone.”
[Cang Xuan]’s hand reached out instinctively to comfort Xiao Yao but he pulled back, silently getting up and walking out with heavy steps.
Xiao Yao heard from his footsteps - a never before heard weight. She knew that she wasn’t the only person hurting right now. [Cang Xuan] hurt more than she did, he was even more sad. Xiao Yao started to cry harder again, once they were each other’s only support and comfort. Who knew they would be hurting each other today?
Xiao Yao didn’t want to have to avoid [Cang Xuan], like he said it wasn’t wrong for him to like her. But at the moment she didn’t know how to face him, so she tried her hardest to avoid him. When he came to Xiao Yue Peak, Xiao Yao would plaster herself next to the Yellow Emperor.
[Cang Xuan] understood what she was doing so he didn’t force her, nor did he let it go. He was still the same, coming to Xiao Yue Peak every day, talking with the Yellow Emperor and taking tea.
Gradually Xiao Yao became less nervous, and as long as neither brought it up, they easily fell back to the way they interacted.
One night, [Cang Xuan] chatted with the Yellow Emperor for a bit and was taking his leave when he noticed the moon was exceptionally bright. He turned to Xiao Yao. “Haven’t been to the phoenix tree forest in some time, take a walk with me.”
“I’m turning in.” The sun had just set and even Xiao Yao felt this excuse was beyond lame.
[Cang Xuan] said nothing, silently looking at Xiao Yao for a moment before walking out of the courtyard headed to the phoenix tree forest alone. His figure seemed especially lonesome.
Xiao Yao watched his figure disappear into the phoenix tree forest like it was gradually being swallowed by the night, just like she was also being swallowed by the night, with no hope and no comfort.
Xiao Yao stood there in a daze for some time before bolting out of the residence and running towards the phoenix tree forest.
Xiao Yao stood under the phoenix tree bent over breathing heavily while looking around in dismay. “[Cang Xuan]! [Cang Xuan]…” There was no answer and no sign of anyone, [Cang Xuan] had already left.
Xiao Yao slowly sat down on the grass and wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her head in her lap. She felt sad, and confused, because the things [Cang Xuan] wanted she couldn’t give him.
-----
From chapter 47 of the novel:
“I want to know the truth. [Cang Xuan], did you send people to help Tu Shan Hou?”
[Cang Xuan] wanted to deny it but his pride wouldn’t allow him to, so he said after a pause, “It was me!”
“It was you!” Xiao Yao thought she had experienced every type of pain in the world, but who knew the most painful thing in the world was the person you love taking a knife and carving out your heart. Every part of Xiao Yao hurt, her insides, her bones, her skin, her head, none of the pain she experienced in the past could hold a candle to this. She was in such pain she wanted to die. Xiao Yao closed her eyes, unable to look at [Cang Xuan]. “Get out!”
...
Xiao Yao felt unsettled, like [Cang Xuan] was suddenly unfamiliar to her, or maybe it was that [Cang Xuan] to her, they laughed when happy, he carried her when she tired, he teased her when she pouted, he was a shoulder for her to lean on when she was in need, he could handle everything when she was in peril.
In Xiao Yao’s heart, [Cang Xuan] was the closest person to her, so much so that she didn’t differentiate between him and her. If he wanted something then she would give her life to help him achieve it. From Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Sheng Nong Mountain, whatever she had [Cang Xuan] could have it, including her life. She always thought [Cang Xuan] treated her the same way, that if she wanted something [Cang Xuan] would get it for her, that if she treasured something [Cang Xuan] would treasure it too.
But it was just her wishful thinking! So was she simply wrong about [Cang Xuan], or had he changed?
...
[Cang Xuan]’s tears fell and Xiao Yao saw it and smiled. “Gege, [Cang Xuan]…….I……..I forgive you! It’s too hard to hate you…….worse than cutting my own heart to pieces……I forgive you…….”
[Cang Xuan] cried, “Xiao Yao, tell me! If we could do it all over again and I held you close after we reunited on Five Gods Mountain, with no chance for Jing to get close to you, would you have picked me?”
Xiao Yao was about to pass out but [Cang Xuan]’s words took her back to the very beginning and it was as clear as yesterday, “When I was locked up in the cage by the nine-tailed fox, all I could think of was you…..all I missed was you….when you didn’t recognize me, I still used my life to save you…….back then…….there was no Jing yet………..” Xiao Yao’s voice trailed off.
[Cang Xuan] cried out, “Xiao Yao! Xiao Yao!………..” but he could feel only silence as her breathing ceased.
On Cao Yun Peak, they played during the day and slept in each other’s arms at night. They buried and said farewell to their loved ones, they endured the pain together……….Xiao Yao said her heart had turned cold into stone, but he remained the most precious treasure that Xiao Yao kept deep in her heart, in the softest most secure place. When Jing said he would give first and trust first to try and win Xiao Yao’s heart, Xiao Yao had already done the same for [Cang Xuan]. She didn’t like politics or care about the greater good, but she accompanied him back to Xuan Yuan Mountain and always protected him…..
-----
From chapter 49 of the novel:
Xiao Yao’s eyes followed [Cang Xuan] until his form disappeared from sight, as if watching the most important and precious part of her life vanish forever. Her body trembled and ached from the pain in her heart so she grabbed her chest with one hand as she leaned on Jing’s body for support.
Maybe the bug was afraid of implanting itself on XL that first time, as WXL seemed to think.
Maybe the bug would not implant itself in XL because he had no love or affection for WXL at that point, because WXL had no love or affection for XL at that point, or both.
Maybe it was a bit of both the fear factor and the lack of love / affection factor.
In any case, I think we can safely say that XL probably did not love WXL at that point (when WXL first tried to plant the bug in him but failed), whether or not that was the reason why the bug didn't plant itself in him then, and that XL did love WXL later on when he willingly accepted the bug transfer - when the bug not only planted itself in XL, but did so very quickly.
Kokuto is referring to the Shaman King (referred to as the Voodoo King in Koala's translation of the novel) of Jiuli / Baili. The land where Chi Chen (XY's biological father) is from. The Shaman King is a master of poisons and related magic. He hasn't appeared in the drama yet.
We never see XL get any information about the bugs in the novel, and the information that XY got about the bugs from the Shaman King in the novel was a bit different than the information that XL got from Lirong Ji in the drama.
XL sacrificed one life to kill the bugs in the novel. He sacrificed two lives to kill them in the leaked script.
XL was only able to break the bug connection because he had an extra life to spare to lure out and kill the bugs. In order to do so he had to perform a blood ritual that involved cutting XY's palm. But he healed her hand immediately after finishing the ritual and apart from that she was not harmed.
XL, however, had to stab himself in the heart in order to kill the bugs, in addition to sacrificing one of his extra lives. So yes, I would say it had a negative impact on him.
-----
Chapter 48:
Xiang Liu sat down next to the raft and stared at the sleeping Xiao Yao before softly saying, “The tree grows old on land together, the mandarin ducks die together in the water – the Lover’s Bug connects heart to heart and our lives, and there truly is no way to remove the bug. Years ago I was only able to remove the bug from [Cang Xuan] because he didn’t know it was you so he didn’t willingly accept the bug. So you never successfully planted the bug on him in the first place. But I….I was heart and soul willing, so the bug successfully planted in me. You asked me to remove the bug and I kept telling you I can’t do it, but you didn’t believe me. But I truly didn’t lie to you, I cannot remove the bug.”
Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao’s hand and used his finger as a knife to slice into the flesh of her palm and his palm back and forth until he drew a blood spell. “I cannot remove the bug, but I can kill the bug!”
Xiang Liu smiled before joining his bloody palm to Xiao Yao’s bloody palm, so tightly that the blood flowing wasn’t clear whether it was his or hers. “Don’t blame me for not telling you this before, you were the one who did not ask!”
Xiang Liu started to chant the spell and with it countless glowing blue dots appeared and flew around both of them. The blue dots lit up the night sky until it was an ethereal beauty of lights in the air and reflected in the lake surface.
Xiang Liu’s hand suddenly grabbed a real dagger made from ice and he stabbed it directly into his own heart. Sir Bi gasped out loud and had to force himself to not do anything.
Xiang Liu pulled out the dagger and blood gushed from the wound in his chest. All the blue dots rushed into the wound in his chest until they all vanished inside.
After all the blue dots were gone, Xiang Liu’s face was stark white and he pressed down with one hand on his chest wound, and the other grabbed medicine but he didn’t apply it to himself and instead applied it on Xiao Yao’s hand. The cuts on her hand quickly healed until there was no sign it was ever injured.
Xiang Liu smiled sadly and said to Xiao Yao, “I broke the bug connection between us! From now on, you and I will have no connection with each other!”
Xiang Liu gently pushed the raft towards Sir Bi. “She will wake up tomorrow morning.”
Sir Bi understood what happened – the heart-and-life-connected Lover’s Bug was planted between Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, which is why Xiang Liu could save Xiao Yao’s life earlier. Xiang Liu managed to now break the bug by using his own life as the lure to kill the bugs. It was a suicidal method, but a method that only Nine Lives Xiang Liu could use by taking one of his lives.
-----
Edit: To answer the updated version of your comment: XY knew that the bugs were Lovers Bugs and was told what that meant. Out loud it seemed like she was never willing to totally admit it what the bugs meant (in terms of the feelings between her and XL), but whether she admitted it internally or not is left up to the reader to interpret.
She did not know that XL was responsible for breaking the bug connection or that he sacrificed one of his lives to do so. She was told that the Royal Mother of Jade Mountain was the one who broke the connection / removed the bug from her.
In the novel, it was very strongly implied that XY would die if XL died while the two of them were still connected by the Lovers Bugs.
Major spoilers ahead.... for that reason, XL made sure to break the bug connection between them (by sacrificing one of his extra lives to lure out the bugs and kill them) before he died on the battlefield at the end of the novel.
Whereas, when WXL transferred the bug from CX to XL, XL did willingly accept the bug. So it was "successfully" planted and it became a Lovers Bug that tied XL and XY's lives and hearts together. Notably, WXL was also surprised by how quickly the bug came to XL during that transfer.
When WXL first tried to plant the bug in XL and failed, WXL scolded the bug for being cowardly. My interpretation was that WXL failed to plant the bug that first time and scolded it because the bug was afraid of XL at a point in time when he did not willingly call it / accept it. The bug did not have the same concern with CX, so WXL was able to plant it in CX against CX's will (although "unsuccessfully" in the sense that it did not become a Lovers Bug).
Then when XL called the bug to his heart later, at a time when he had feelings for WXL and accepted the bug willingly, the transfer happened quickly as the bug was no longer afraid of forcibly planting itself in an unwilling XL.
Which is one of the reasons why (among the other inconsistencies mentioned in the thread linked above) I think the drama (the censored and re-dubbed version at least) is trying to frame XY's mother as basically the Queen of Xiyan's neice (or similar blood relation) and disciple (who she treated as a daughter and who the former King of Xiyan recongized as a daughter when he bestowed the title of Princess General on her when she led the Xiyan army against Chi Chen and the Chenrong army) and XY as CX's second-cousin (or similar blood relation) and the former King of Xiyan's "recognized" (but not biological) granddaughter.
This is the TL;DR from that thread:
In the novel, Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan are blood-related first cousins through Xiao Yao's mother and Cang Xuan's father, who are respectively the daughter and son of the Yellow Emperor (in the drama, the King of Xiyan) and his official empress, Leizhu (in the drama, the Queen of Xiyan, Xiling Xie). After Cang Xuan's parents died, Xiao Yao's mother looked after Cang Xuan (her nephew) as if he were her own child. Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao lived together for eight years after Xiao Yao's mother's divorce, and they referred to each other as 哥哥 (Ge Ge / older brother) and 妹妹 (Mei Mei / younger sister) even before Cang Xuan's parents died.
In the drama, some details have been changed (in some cases at the last minute, in redubbing) to make it seem like Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan are perhaps still blood relatives, but, if so, only distant ones (with Xiao Yao's mother being the Queen of Xiyan's disciple and relative, but not her biological daughter) and not blood-related first cousins.
In particular, they have made changes so that Xiao Yao's mother (Xiling Heng / Ah Heng) comes from the same clan as Cang Xuan's grandmother, the Queen of Xiyan (Xiling Xie / Lady Xiezu), so the two women are likely blood-related to some degree, but Ah Heng is Xiling Xie's disciple rather than her biological daughter. We can infer that Ah Heng was probably something like Xiling Xie's niece, in which case, CX and XY's parents would be first counsins and CX and XY would be second cousins.
He also uses his blood on weapons sometimes (e.g., chapter 46) and the more potent poisons he consumes the more impossible it is for anyone to create an antidote that would be able to combat his poisonous blood.
Might be more of an editing choice to not intercut the assassination sequence with their reactions as they feel them?
It's also implied that he enjoys getting poisons that are made "just for him" from WXL/XY.
About the last point on timing, XL was physically the furthest away from XY when her assassination happened. TSJ was the closest, had his calamity-anticipating ability, and his tracking ability. So he arrived first. CX was the second closest and he also had a similar ability - he can sense when a loved one is about to die (he anticipated both his father and his grandmother's deaths this way). So he arrived second. XL left the remnant army camp outside of QS town when he felt the assassination take place through the bug connection but had to fly overnight (if I remember correctly) to get to Shengnong Mountain, where CX's people had taken XY's body.
As for whether or not the dream sequence from the leaked script ends up being reflected in the final version of the drama or not, I think we just have to wait and see.
In the drama, XY and CX seem to still be related, but not as closely as first cousins. Possibly second cousins.
The details for both are covered at length here: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/120191-are-cang-xuan-and-xiao-yao-blood-relatives-in-the-drama