AH

https://koalasplayground.com/tag/lost-you-forever/page/8/

Just my personal opinion, but I prefer the novel. I imagine this will not surprise anyone. ^^

Sorry, I edited it too late!

You're welcome! Understandable, but I think you're safe on this one. ^^

This is from chapter 42. Fair warning, it's a bit graphic.

Edit: Just saw that you don't want more spoilers than what Sunbath12 gave. So don't read on!

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Chapter 42:

The tiger ripped off another fox tail and Jing screamed in pain while continuing to battle with Hou. The tiger bit off yet another tail and Hou roared, “Jing, you would rather have every organ ripped to shreds than admit you’re not as good as me?”

Jing’s body shook but his voice was calm. “If it was my older brother from before who asked me this, I would immediately admit I’m not as good, there are many areas I can’t match up to him. But asking me now, I can tell you clearly that I look down on you! You’re just a weakling who let jealousy and hatred control your heart.”

Hou’s face was contorted in rage and he screamed, and with that deafening scream the entire ground shook and all the fog lifted. The tiger pounced and pressed down on the nine-tailed fox under its paws.

Jing collapsed on the ground covered in blood. Hou yelled “Who is the weakling now? How dare you look down on me? Say it! Who is the weakling!”

Jing said nothing and didn’t even look at Hou.

The tiger ripped another fox tail and Jing’s body convulsed in pain. Hou raged, “Who’s stronger than who? You answer! Who isn’t as good as who? You answer me!”

The tiger raised its front paws and was about to smash the entire fox body to smithereens when suddenly Hou’s entire body froze and his roar stopped, while the tiger’s body began to shrink.

Hou looked down in disbelief as an arrow tipped with a pair of intertwined mandarin ducks protruded from his chest. He touched the tips with the lover birds and murmured “Yi Yang!”

Hou lifted his head to look up towards the sky.

A white flying horse descended and an all black clad Yi Yang was sprawled on the horse and holding a beautiful bow in her hand.

Because she was so weak and afraid of falling off the horse, she used a rope to tie herself to the horse’s back. Now Yi Yang untied the rope and fell off the horse. She appeared too weak to walk but used the bow as a crutch to slowly stumble over.

Hou stared at Yi Yang as the blood dripped from his chest, a mocking smile on his lips. “Is that the bow that I designed for you?”

“This is also something you gave me!” Yi Yang ripped off her black face veil and her face was completely shriveled and dried, without any blood or flesh. It was like dried skin directly plastered on bone, except her eyes were bright and shiny like a young girl, making the visage even more ghastly.

Hou made a noise and it wasn’t clear if he was trying to laugh or cry. “You’re saving him? You came to save him? If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

“You should say that if it wasn’t for you, everything would be different!” Yi Yang glanced at Jing with conflicted emotions. She harmed him time and again but he chose to forgive her. She used to see his kindness as weakness but only after she was truly heartbroken did she understand that hating is easy but forgiving required a stronger vaster heart.

Yi Yang stumbled towards Hou. “But I met you first! That year it was festival season and I was in Gao Xing traveling with my girlfriends to see the lanterns. There was an accident and I fell in the water, but I couldn’t swim and was caught by a water grass demon. It was you who saved me, and then accompanied me to view the lanterns while rowing on the lake to help me find my friends. I could tell this wasn’t your first time in Gao Xing and asked why you were there. You said “I came to see a girl, I heard she was viewing the lanterns.” I knew I was already engaged but felt this disappointment in my heart. Later I found my friends and they called me Yi Yang, and you heard that and asked if I was Ms. Fang Feng. I said yes and you stared at me before smiling “So it’s you!” You then rowed out towards the ocean and I heard someone calling you “Young Master Tu Shan” and you responded. All my friends teased me because we all thought you were the Tu Shan young master I was engaged to, and you came specifically to see me. I stared at you rowing away, with surprise and joy in my heart, thinking “So it’s you!” I prepared my trousseau and happily waited to marry you. But the news came instead was your grave illness and the wedding called off. Father tried to find out if you were dead or missing, not wanting to marry me to someone who was going to die. He wanted to cancel the engagement but all I could see was you standing within the lanterns with a smile saying “So it’s you!” I ignored my father’s objection and put on my wedding dress, rushing thousands of miles to Qing Qiu with one thought – I would find out who harmed you and kill that person. Even if you didn’t marry me yet, I lived as your wife, taking good care of grandmother. When I learned that Tu Shan Hou harmed you, I decided to take revenge for you once Hou came back to the residence. Months later you finished a big deal and came home from Xuan Yuan Castle, I helped grandmother out to welcome you back and you walked towards me under the lit lanterns and I stared dumbstruck with only one thought “So it’s you!”

Yi Yang used all her strength to shoot out that arrow and now she collapsed on the ground, and ignoring the mud on her face, she raised her head to look at Hou “That moment, all my hate turned into joy. I didn’t care who you were or what you had done, as long as you were alive then I was happy.”

Yi Yang softly asked “Hou, I just want to know, was your true heart there even for one moment?”

Hou coldly laughed “We’re about to die, what does it matter, true heart or not?”

Yi Yang crawled forward and stood up shakily. She looked at Jing “I agreed to set this trap for Hou not to kill you, but to kill Hou. I told you before that I’m not the same as you. Someone who wrongs me, I will make him pay! Zhen Er’s poison has been lifted and I wrote him a letter to let him know all the wrong things his mom and real dad did. I hope that when he grows up, he can repay you on my behalf. Jing, I’m sorry! It’s not that you’re not good, it’s that you’re too good! The heavens knew that you were too good for me, that I wasn’t good enough for you, so that’s why I met him first!”

Yi Yang walked up to Hou and whispered in his ears “I don’t care if you were sincere or faking it this whole time, you promised to be a pair of mandarin ducks with me, lovers forever, in life and in death.” She grabbed Hou’s waist with one hand and the arrow with the other, and used all her remaining power to push the arrow forward until it pierced fully through Hou’s heart and into her heart.

Hou may have been gravely injured with the arrow but he still had power, he could have pushed Yi Yang away. It wasn’t clear if he was dazed or wanted this, but he let Yi Yang embrace him as if he knew what she was going to do. When Yi Yang touched the arrow, he actually wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer into his arms. He smiled at Jing “This time, it’s still not fair. And the person cheating for you is my own woman!”

When the arrow pierced Yi Yang, Hou used all his remaining power to rush forward and kick Jing with all his might “Let’s all die together!”

Jing’s body flew into the air and fell into the Qing Shui River.

With that kick Hou used up all his energy and died, but his body continued to move forward and he fell into the Qing Shui River along with Yi Yang.
Yi Yang held him tightly, nestled in his arms, tears falling from her eyes.
The two pierced together with an arrow tipped with mandarin ducks disappeared underneath the churning waves.

I'm hoping her ending in the novel will be fully adapted in the drama.

XY does not die.

In the novel, XY poisons CX with a non-lethal dose and poisons herself with a lethal dose after discovering that CX orchestrated TSJ's death. XL intervenes and secretly saves her life, so she does not die. He also secretly saves TSJ's life.

In the drama, based on the leaked script, we are expecting that sequence (CX being behind TSJ's death and XY poisoning him + herself) to be turned into a dream sequence brought on by special tea given to CX by the former King of Xiyan to help him see the consequences he will face if he doesn't let XY go.

Normally I hate slaps. They usually seem so childish. But FFYY slapping TSH was surprisingly satisfying.

Man do I agree. Every single seemingly small difference definitely adds up.

Lol, rehashing old talking points so you know this already, but my interpretation (with a very high degree of confidence for the novel and a lower degree of confidence for the drama) has always been that XL knew how to break the bug connection for the same amount of time that he knew what kind of bugs they were (Lovers Bugs) and what the criteria were for transferring and successfully planting them. In other words, IMO, he knew how to break the connection before he suggested the bug transfer the first time and definitely before he accepted the bug transfer when WXL asked him about it later on.

You're welcome!

Lol, thank you Grumpy Witch. I appreciate that! ^^

Going off of the novel, CX was behind both the spread of the rumours in general and specifically XY overhearing the General confirming their legitimacy.

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Chapter 35:

Zhuan Xu was leaving when Jing asked, “Your majesty, why did you do that?”

Zhuan Xu slowly turned back around. The crowds were rushing past below the steps but on the steps, either the guards were keeping a barrier or there simply was no one else headed that way, it was oddly silent with only Jing and Zhuan Xu staring at each other under the lamp light.

Zhuan Xu had a mocking smile on the corner of his lips, “How did you find out?”

Jing said, “I initially thought it was the Empress since she wants to hurt Xiao Yao and has the power to spread the rumors. I thought Your majesty would be working to staunch the rumors but as much as I tried, even using the power of the three clans of Xi Ling, Gui Fang, and Tu Shan, it could not stop the rumors. I realized it didn’t appear to be the Empress since the power behind the rumors was too great. Tonight it appears Xiao Yao made all the choices, but if Your majesty wanted Xiao Yao to be undisturbed, then General Li Yuan and his group would not have been able to enter the restaurant. The only explanation is that Your majesty wanted Xiao Yao to accidentally meet General Li Yuan’s group.”

Zhuan Xu calmly said, “Feng Long told me once that you are smarter than anyone he knows. I didn’t really believe him then but today it appears you deserve Feng Long’s praise.”

Jing said, “Your majesty, it’s not Xiao Yao being not smart enough to figure it out, it’s that she will never ever believe that you would hurt her.”

Zhuan Xu’s smile vanished and he coldly said, “I did it because I want to protect her.”

Jing already knew Zhuan Xu’s intentions but to have it confirmed still shook him to the core. He silently stepped off the steps and bid farewell. “Your humble citizen I shall be going.”

Thanks Kokuto.

While I personally don't think XL ever seriously foresaw a possible future where he and WXL would have a long-term romantic relationship together, I don't think there are any details in the novel that totally rule out that possibility.

The drama and the novel are also different on some points (in more ways than just the OOCness I've lamented). So maybe drama!XL did foresee such a future, even if novel!XL did not. ^^

You're welcome!

You know, I hadn't thought of that line as perhaps echoing the dynamic between XL and XY, with XL coldly pushing XY away (partly because of her loyalty to CX and the fact that he and CX were on opposite sides of a war and to spare XY emotional pain). But now that you mention it, it does seem like that might have been an intentional parallel.

You're welcome!

If CX had started the war with Haoling while XY was still the princess of Haoling, she might have returned to Haoling (and viewed him as an enemy). Or, if she stayed in Xiyan, she might have been villified as a princess of an enemy nation / for betraying her father (the King of Haoling). Either way, she would be torn between her two closest family members.

By exposing her true parentage and causing the King of Haoling to revoke XY's status as the Princess of Haoling, he ensured that XY would stay with him in Xiyan during the war instead of returning to Haoling, where she no longer officially had a home.

Her father (the King of Haoling) understood CX's intention and didn't want XY to be torn between him and CX when the war came so he went along with it and removed XY from the royal family registry, even though he still loves XY and will continue to support her.

There was also a factor of protecting XY's safety. There was always a risk that the truth about XY's parentage would come out, and for as long as that was true she was vulnerable to facing attacks like the one that she faced in chapter 21. But after the truth was exposed, CX and others made a point of showing the world that XY was strongly valued and protected by powerful people (mainly CX, the King of Xiyan) despite her parentage. And CX secretly backed a campaign to ensure that the people of Xiyan remembered what XY's mother had done for them and (for the most part) they chose to not take their anger against Chi Chen out against XY. So although XY was still vulnerable, controlling the exposure and the aftermath ensured that she was as protected as possible in the circumstances.

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Zhuan Xu = CX
The Xuan Yuan Emperor = CX
Black Emperor = CX
Yellow Emperor = the former King of Xiyan
Xuan Yuan = Xiyan
Gao Xing = Haoling
Grand Emperor = the King of Haoling
Qi Yo = Chi Chen

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Chapter 35:

Jing said, “Your majesty, it’s not Xiao Yao being not smart enough to figure it out, it’s that she will never ever believe that you would hurt her.”

Zhuan Xu’s smile vanished and he coldly said, “I did it because I want to protect her.”

Jing already knew Zhuan Xu’s intentions but to have it confirmed still shook him to the core. He silently stepped off the steps and bid farewell. “Your humble citizen I shall be going.”

...

In the middle of the Spring month, the Grand Emperor proclaimed to the world that Gao Xing Jiu Yao would be stricken from the Gao Xing family ledger. The entire world was stunned.

Even though the rumor was spread far and wide, it was still a matter that happened hundreds of years ago. Other than the Xuan Yuan Princess coming back to life to tell the truth, there was no way to confirm it either way. What the Grand Emperor did appeared to be punishing Xiao Yao, but in truth he was taking all the shame of being cuckholded on himself.

Since Xiao Yao was born she had one of the most illustrious and powerful last names in the vast wilderness: Gao Xing. Even when she was wandering the world and had no face, she knew she was Gao Xing Jiu Yao. But in an instant she lost her last name and became someone as low as a slave who had no last name.

....

A few days later, the Xi Ling clan leader announced to the world that Xiao Yao would be added to their clan ledger and she officially became the eldest daughter of the Xi Ling clan.

The Xuan Yuan Emperor congratulated the Xi Ling clan by showering them with priceless treasures and also gifted the Jang Yi Pavilion on Xiao Yue Summit to Xiao Yao. Jang Yi Pavilion was the residence of the former Flame Emperor’s daughter Princess Yao Ji and was famed for producing beautiful jade. The name Jang Yi also meant hiding beautiful jade, so it was hinting to the world that Xiao Yao was as precious as a princess.

After the Black Emperor ascended the throne, the Yellow Emperor never once made a proclamation before. But this gift to Xiao Yao had the seal of both Emperors on the proclamation papers which was the first ever in history to have two emperor seals on the same document.

The Royal Mother gifted forty eight bottles of priceless saturn peach wine and bone essence to Xi Ling Jiu Yao. The Royal Mother was always aloof and even when the Black Emperor got married she only sent half of that, which signaled to the world that her disciple Xiao Yao was of utmost importance to her.

After Xiao Yao was stripped of her Gao Xing Eldest Princess identity, everyone thought it was time to get rid of her. But it was unbelievable that the Yellow and Black Emperors didn’t care that she was Qi Yo’s daughter and widely announced to the world how much they treasured her.

To the Xuan Yuan elders, the Xi Ling last name reminded her that even if they hated Qi Yo, Xiao Yao was still the bloodline of Empress Lei Zhu and the Princess who died to protect them. General Ying Long and Li Yuan led the brigade to treat Xiao Yao as if she was the Xuan Yuan Princess and didn’t care about anything else. Plus with the two Emperors' attitude in protecting Xiao Yao, the rest of the elders decided that they couldn’t transfer their hatred of Qi Yo to Xiao Yao no matter what.

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Chapter 38:

“If you don’t care about how we feel then you leave. I don’t want to see you! In the future you’re not welcome at Xiao Yue Peak either!” Xiao Yao ran into the inner room and flopped on her pallet before pulling the blanket tightly over her head.

“Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao…..” Zhuan Xu pounded on the door but heard silence back from inside the room. He could have broken down the door easily with his power but he didn’t force his way inside.

Zhuan Xu’s forehead wearily leaned against the door, “I care about what you think!” That’s why a war that should have begun three years ago got delayed time and again until now. That’s why he was willing to alert the Grand Emperor to his war intentions and sever Xiao Yao’s connection with him as father-daughter first.

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Chapter 39:

Xiao Yao walked to the window and stared out, not wanting Ah Nian to see the weakness in her heart. “Not that I didn’t want to but….Ah Nian, the Grand Emperor had me stricken from the Gao Xing family tree and ancestral lineage books and forbade me from using the Gao Xing last name.”

Ah Nian’s mouth dropped open and didn’t know how to berate Xiao Yao anymore. By being stricken from the family then Xiao Yao would have no right to go to Five Gods Mountain anymore. Remembering the way the Gao Xing officials viciously cursed Xiao Yao, Ah Nian’s heart softened.

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Chapter 40:

The Grand Emperor reached out his hand “Xiao Yao, I remember when you were small. Every night you would sit in front of the court steps with your eyes staring ahead until you saw me. Then you would happily run towards me and into my arms. That was the happiest part of my day because you loved me not for my power or anything else, but because I was your Dad. I loved and coddled you because you were my daughter, even if I didn’t promise your mom or if I didn’t know your uncles, I would still have loved and treated you the same. Don’t be mad at the cold way I’ve pushed you away, I just didn’t want you to feel torn between Zhuan Xu and me.”

Xiao Yao tightly gripped the Grand Emperor’s hand as if fearing losing him again “I know….I understood it deep down….I wasn’t angry at you.”

@AncientLoveGoddess and @Mich, thank you for reading it!

IMO, CX revealing XY's true parentage did not protect her feelings from being hurt.

If CX had started the war with Haoling while XY was still the princess of Haoling, she might have returned to Haoling (and viewed him as an enemy). Or, if she stayed in Xiyan, she might have been villified as a princess of an enemy nation / for betraying her father (the King of Haoling).

By exposing her true parentage and causing the King of Haoling to revoke XY's status as the Princess of Haoling, he ensured that XY would stay with him in Xiyan during the war instead of returning to Haoling, where she no longer officially had a home. Her father (the King of Haoling) understood CX's intention and went along with it, even though he still loves XY and will continue to support her.

There was also a factor of protecting XY's safety. There was always a risk that the truth about XY's parentage would come out, and for as long as that was true she was vulnerable to facing attacks like the one that she faced in chapter 21. But after the truth was exposed, CX and others made a point of showing the world that XY was strongly valued and protected by powerful people (mainly CX, the King of Xiyan) despite her parentage. And CX secretly backed a campaign to ensure that the people of Xiyan remembered what XY's mother had done for them and (for the most part) chose to not take their anger against Chi Chen out against XY. So although XY was still vulnerable, controlling the exposure and the aftermath ensured that she was as protected as possible in the circumstances.

There are a few reasons, but the main one comes down to their respective loyalties.

When XY and CX were children, they promised to always support one another and to be together by each others' sides forever. After they reunited, XY considered CX to be her closest and most important person. However, the chenrong remnant army and Xiyan are at war for the entirety of the story. XL fights for the chenrong remnant army, which is led by his adoptive father (Hong Jiang), and will never betray or abandon them. CX becomes the king of Xiyan (and as vlees mentioned, XY's mother also led the Xiyan kingdom's army in the battle that resulted in Xiyan's conquest of Chenrong and her grandfather was the King of Xiyan before CX). So if XL remains loyal to Hong Jiang and the chenrong remnant army and XY remains loyal to CX / her family, then they will always be on the opposite sides of a war.

The next bit is my personal interpretation. Many fans have different interpretations, so take this part as subjective.

XY told XL that she was afraid of being lonely, so XL did his best to alleviate her loneliness temporarily through both the bug connection and by becoming her temporary companion. But he emphasized to XY that it was temporary and made sure that she never developed an expectation that he would be with her forever.

IMO, as XL expects / plans to die on the battlefield with his chenrong remnant army comrades, he also cannot promise to be with her forever and wants to protect her from the impact of his death. For that reason, he doesn't want her to know how much he did for her, to know the feelings he had for her, or for her to have feelings for him in return, as that would result in his death causing her much more pain.

There might even be a risk that she would want to die herself in order to join him in death. I say that because Lost You Forever is a sequel to Once Promised, and in Once Promised, the three main female characters (Ah Heng - XY's mother, Chang Pu - CX's mother, and Yun Sang - a princess of Chenrong) all wanted to die after the men they loved died in battle so that they could be together with the one they loved in death. As the female protagonist of Lost You Forever, much of XY's story is about how close she came to repeating her mother's tragic fate and how she managed, in the end, to avoid doing so.

So XL hides what he does for her when he can and masks his intentions (with deals / transactions and harshness) when he can't. And, in the end, he pushes her to break ties with him, breaks the bug connection between them (so she will not die when he dies in the last battle), and he erases the memories of him that she saved in her mirror before he dies.

It's also spelled out in XL's epilogue that he wanted to close all of the gaps in XY's life that she identified when they first met - giving her an ability to protect herself (archery), someone to rely on (someone who would survive, stay by her side, and put her first), and a place that she would always be able to go (the Ocean, thanks to his blood transfusions, which gave her some of his abilities, including breathing under water) before he died. To fulfill the "someone to rely on" part, XL pushed XY towards TSJ. In the novel, he secretly saved TSJ's life for this purpose, secretly sent a gift for XY's wedding with TSJ, and secretly included a hidden message inside the gift wishing her a lifetime of worry-free happiness.