compassion

.... compassion is a significant aspect of both Shi Qi's and Xiao Liu's characters. Let's explore how compassion manifests in each of them:

A. Shi Qi's Compassion:

  1. Protectiveness and Care: Throughout the narrative, Shi Qi consistently displays a protective and caring attitude towards Xiao Liu. This protective instinct goes beyond duty and reflects a genuine concern for her well-being.
  2. Immediate Response to Threats: When Zhuan Xu's hand approaches Xiao Liu's injured leg, Shi Qi's swift response to defend her showcases not only his physical strength but also his emotional investment in safeguarding her from harm.
  3. Gentle Gestures: Shi Qi's actions, such as peeling and offering fruits, signify a form of tenderness and thoughtfulness. These gestures go beyond mere practical assistance, revealing an emotional connection and a desire to provide comfort.

B. Xiao Liu's Compassion:

  1. Saving Zhuan Xu: Despite Zhuan Xu ordering her torture, Xiao Liu uses her body to shield him from harm when Nine-lives Xiang Liu is chasing him. This self-sacrificial act reflects a compassion that transcends personal grievances.
  2. Emotional Understanding: Xiao Liu's ability to understand Zhuan Xu's internal struggles and respond to them with a stoic demeanor implies a level of emotional intelligence and compassion. Her willingness to forgive, as indicated by her calm response to Zhuan Xu's question about pain, further underscores this quality.
  3. Healing Presence: Xiao Liu becomes a source of healing for Zhuan Xu, not only physically but also emotionally. Her past experiences, marked by bloodshed and betrayal, make her a unique character capable of extending compassion even in challenging circumstances.

A+B=Shared Compassion:

  1. Mutual Understanding: Both Shi Qi and Xiao Liu share a sense of understanding and compassion for each other's experiences. Shi Qi's protective nature aligns with Xiao Liu's need for stability and care, creating a symbiotic relationship built on empathy.
  2. Journey Towards Redemption: The presence of compassion in these characters contributes to the broader theme of redemption. It suggests that, despite past conflicts and betrayals, the capacity for compassion can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and deep mutual understanding.This point is strengthening their emotional connection.

This common compationate character trait, made me want to explore some more common traits between Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao and Yeshiqi/Tushan Jing:  

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  1. Resilience:

    • Both characters exhibit remarkable resilience in the face of adversity. Shi Qi's endurance of the torture inflicted by his brother and Xiao Liu's survival through a life filled with equally challenges highlight their inner strength and determination. 
    • Def.Resilience is the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Being resilient does not mean a person doesn't experience stress, emotional upheaval, and suffering. Resilience involves the ability to work through emotional pain and suffering. 
    • How do you show resilience?

      Resilient people have a positive image of the future. That is, they maintain a positive outlook, and envision brighter days ahead. Resilient people have solid goals, and a desire to achieve those goals. Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate, however, they don't waste time worrying what others think of them.

    • Resilient people never think of themselves as victims – they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.

    • Resilient is to have the courage to go after our dreams, despite the very real risk that we'll fail in some way or another. Being resilient means that when we do fail, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need to learn, and we can move on to bigger and better things.

    • https://www.mindtools.com/ao310a2/developing-resilience 

  2. Empathy:

    1. Beyond compassion, both Shi Qi and Xiao Liu demonstrate empathy. They understand each other's pain and struggles, creating a foundation for emotional connection. This shared empathy contributes to the depth of their relationship.
    2. Empathy Fosters Connection :it is defined as “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions” or “the ability to share someone else’s feelings.” It is looking at things from another person’s perspective and attempting to understand why they feel the way they do.  
    3. Empathy is not easy. It requires a tremendous amount of vulnerability to listen without judgment and see yourself in another person’s struggle. Empathy can be uncomfortable especially when you are supporting someone in a dark time.  
    4. By expressing empathy to your loved ones, you are inviting them into your inner world. When they see that you have struggles of your own, it makes them feel connected. This connection allows them to trust you and share what they are feeling. Empathy creates connection and understanding. 
    5. https://www.psychmc.com/blogs/empathy-vs-sympathy

3. Courage:

  • Whether facing physical torture or confronting a concealed past, Shi Qi and Xiao Liu display courage in challenging situations. Their ability to confront difficulties head-on reflects a shared trait that contributes to their growth as characters.
  • From Old French corage (French: courage), from Latin cor (“heart”). Distantly related to cardiac (“of the heart”), which is from Greek, but from the same Proto-Indo-European root.
  • The attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful, instead of withdrawing from it; quality of being fearless or brave.
  • https://www.yourdictionary.com/courage

4.Trustworthiness:

  • Trust is an essential element in their relationship. Despite the complexities of their individual histories, they demonstrate trustworthiness in their interactions. This mutual trust becomes a crucial factor in navigating the uncertainties of their intertwined destinies.
  • What are the five elements of trustworthiness?


    Along with a general willingness to risk vulnerability, five faces of trust emerged: benevolence, reliability, competence, honesty, and openness. This conceptual formulation of faculty trust was then subjected to empirical test, which supported the theoretical underpinnings of the construct.

  • What is the difference between trust and trustworthy? Trust is the near-term perception or leap of faith on which to base a decision. Trustworthiness is earned through an active pattern of behavior over a period of time. 

    5.Protectiveness:

    • Shi Qi's protective instincts, evident in his actions towards Xiao Liu, align with her own protective nature. They share a desire to shield each other from harm, emphasizing a mutual commitment to one another's well-being.
    • Protecting from outer dangers, inner threats, and even accidents can show love. From the time a child is born, adults are aware that protecting is an essential expression of love.

            6. Adaptability:

  • Both characters exhibit adaptability in various circumstances. Whether dealing with external threats or navigating complex relationships, Shi Qi and Xiao Liu showcase the ability to adapt and evolve, contributing to their resilience in a changing world.

7.Altruism:

  • Altruistic tendencies are apparent in both Shi Qi and Xiao Liu's actions. Their willingness to sacrifice for the well-being of others, as seen in Shi Qi saving Xiao Liu's life or Xiao Liu enduring hardships for the greater good, underscores their altruistic nature.

8. Complexity and Layers:

  • Both characters are multifaceted, with layers of complexity that make them intriguing. This depth adds dimension to their personalities, making them more relatable and engaging for the audience and readers.

9. Compassion

Shared Compassion:

  • Mutual Understanding: Both Shi Qi and Xiao Liu share a sense of understanding and compassion for each other's experiences. Shi Qi's protective nature aligns with Xiao Liu's need for stability and care, creating a symbiotic relationship built on empathy.
  • Journey Towards Redemption: The presence of compassion in these characters contributes to the broader theme of redemption. It suggests that, despite past conflicts and betrayals, the capacity for compassion can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and deep mutual understanding.This point is strengthening their emotional connection. Compassion extend kindness and forgiveness toward others, even those who have intentionally transgressed. 
  • Compassion “In the classical teachings of the Buddhist tradition compassion is defined as the heart that trembles in the face of suffering. At times, compassion is translated as the heart that can tremble in the face of suffering. It is aspired to as the noblest quality of the human heart, the motivation underlying all meditative paths of healing and liberation.
  • https://ccare.stanford.edu/research/wiki/compassion-definitions/compassion/ 
  • Compassion comes into the English language by way of the Latin root “passio”, which means to suffer, paired with the Latin prefix “com”, meaning together – to suffer together.

Side note- nobody is 100% this, 100% that. But there are some traits characteristics that as they are : and recurent and prime expressions of themselves,  apply, not as general, but as usual characteristics. Referential.   Recurent inner paterns.

Chapter 9

My Analysis Part 3

                                                          Mount of Money Vs The Moon Light   

Analysis of the Novel Extracts: Chapter 9 (Continued) Mount of Money Vs The Moon Light: 


The juxtaposition of the money mountain and the moonlight serves as a metaphor for Wen Xiao Liu's evolving understanding of her desires and the Grand Emperor's attempts at pampering her. The initial request for a mountain of money, fulfilled by the Grand Emperor, reflects a superficial desire that, when realized, brings little joy. The humorous scene of Xiao Liu rolling on the money mountain contrasts with the later realization that it obstructs the beauty of the moonlight she loves. The symbolic significance lies in the conflict between materialism and the appreciation of nature's beauty. Xiao Liu's preference for the moonlight over the mountain of money suggests a deeper connection to the  natural aspects of life. This shift in her preferences indicates a subtle transformation in her values and desires. The Grand Emperor's continued pampering, even when Xiao Liu changes her preference, reveals his attentiveness and adaptability. His silent acknowledgment, seen through a twinkle of mirth, indicates a deeper understanding of Xiao Liu's evolving feelings. This dynamic reflects a nuanced relationship, where gestures and responses speak volumes without explicit verbal communication. In essence, this part of the narrative explores the theme of genuine understanding and the importance of aligning one's desires with authentic sources of happiness, moving beyond superficial aspirations.

Embracing Nature and Life's Annoyances:

 Xiao Liu's newfound ability to walk, albeit with one crutch, symbolizes her increasing physical and emotional independence. The act of walking at sunset, embracing the warmth and sweating, becomes a metaphor for confronting life's challenges and shedding internal burdens. Her commentary on men preferring women who don't sweat juxtaposed with the idea that marrying such women might not be ideal provides insights into Xiao Liu's philosophy. She advocates for the therapeutic nature of facing life openly, allowing oneself to experience both joy and annoyance. This philosophy aligns with her character's resilience and adaptability, emphasizing the importance of embracing life in its entirety. Shi Qi's silent observation and smile indicate a shared understanding or, perhaps, an appreciation for Xiao Liu's perspective. This silent companionship contributes to the evolving dynamics between the characters, suggesting a growing connection beyond spoken words. 


Emotional Release Through Humor:

  • Xiao Liu's decision to play along with the situation, rolling on the money mountain despite the pain, showcases her ability to find humor in adversity. This coping mechanism aligns with her character's resilience and adaptability.
  • The interaction between Zhuan Xu, Xiao Liu, and Shi Qi, all sharing in the amusement, adds a touch of camaraderie. It highlights the potential for humor to act as a bonding element, transcending the weight of past grievances.

Interpretation and Character Evolution:

 Wen Xiao Liu's changing preferences and perspectives illustrate her character's depth and capacity for growth. Initially drawn to materialistic desires, her shift towards appreciating the beauty of nature signifies a maturation in her outlook. The Grand Emperor's responses reflect a nuanced understanding of Xiao Liu's evolving needs. His commitment to making her feel comfortable, even when it involves changing his gestures based on her changing preferences, demonstrates a level of care that goes beyond mere indulgence. In conclusion, these extracts delve into the complexities of desire, the symbolism of nature, and the evolving dynamics between characters.

"Xiao Liu nattered “Men love a beauty who doesn’t sweat, but that’s a bad idea to marry one. Life has so many annoyances that upset people and to keep it all inside is bad. To walk around in the sun and sweat it all out, that way a woman can feel relieved and not be so petty. Look at me, lately I’ve been so upset but after walking like this I feel much better.” Shi Qi looked at Xiao Liu with a smile but said nothing."

My thoughts:

Xiao Liu's remarks about marriage and the type of woman to avoid might be her way of indirectly expressing her own views on relationships and perhaps signaling to Shi Qi about her own preferences. Considering Shi Qi's situation with the Tushan Clan's arranged marriage, it adds an additional layer of context to Xiao Liu's words.

Here are a few possible interpretations:

  1. Sympathy and Understanding: Xiao Liu might be indirectly expressing sympathy or understanding towards Shi Qi's predicament with the arranged marriage. By sharing her thoughts on the importance of a woman's personality and lifestyle, she could be subtly empathizing with his desire for a genuine connection rather than a superficial alliance.

  2. Encouragement to Pursue Genuine Connections: Knowing Shi Qi's discomfort with the arranged marriage, Xiao Liu's words could be encouraging him to seek a relationship based on shared values, emotions, and genuine connection rather than societal expectations.

  3. Testing Shi Qi's Reaction: Xiao Liu might be testing how Shi Qi reacts to her thoughts on marriage. If he responds positively or engages in a conversation about personal preferences, it could indicate that he values genuine connections in relationships.

  4. Shared Philosophy: Xiao Liu's words might reflect her own philosophy on relationships, which could align with Shi Qi's feelings. This shared perspective could serve as a subtle way of expressing compatibility and understanding between them.

Shi Qi's reaction of looking at Xiao Liu with a smile but not saying anything could be interpreted in a few ways within the context of the conversation about marriage and relationships:

  1. Agreement or Shared Sentiment: Shi Qi's smile might indicate agreement or a shared sentiment with Xiao Liu's thoughts. By not saying anything, he could be expressing that words are not necessary to convey understanding, and his smile might suggest that he resonates with her perspective.

  2. Respectful Silence: Alternatively, Shi Qi's silence could signify a respectful acknowledgment of Xiao Liu's feelings. He might be giving her space to share her thoughts without interjecting his own opinions, especially if he considers the topic personal or sensitive.

  3. Unspoken Understanding: The smile could imply an unspoken understanding between Shi Qi and Xiao Liu. It might suggest that they share a connection or bond that goes beyond words, and he appreciates her openness about such matters.

In summary, Xiao Liu's comments could be a nuanced way of addressing Shi Qi's situation and signaling her own stance on relationships. It adds depth to their interaction and potentially opens the door for a more personal conversation about their own views on love and marriage.

Paving the way for more intimate conversations about their own perspectives on love and relationships.

                 Literary Analysis of Chapters 9 (Part 4-7): Xiao Liu's Revelation and Reunion

In this parts  of  the chapter, the narrative unfolds a pivotal moment in the story, marked by Xiao Liu's revelation of her true identity, her reunion with the Grand Emperor, and the subsequent interactions with Zhuan Xu and Shi Qi. These chapters delve into themes of identity, acceptance, and the complexities of relationships, providing a rich literary tapestry that enhances character development and propels the plot forward.

**1. Theme of Identity:

  • The theme of identity is central to these chapters. Xiao Liu's revelation about her true identity as the daughter of the Grand Emperor and the granddaughter of the Yellow Emperor adds layers to her character. Her journey of self-discovery, marked by trials and transformations, underscores the fragility of identity and the impact of external circumstances on one's sense of self.

**2. Emotional Resonance:

  • The emotional resonance of these chapters is palpable. Xiao Liu's reunion with her father, the Grand Emperor, after centuries of separation evokes a potent mix of emotions – from joy and relief to guilt and vulnerability. The emotional complexity deepens the reader's connection with the characters, making their experiences more relatable and compelling.

**3. Family Dynamics:

  • Family dynamics take center stage as Xiao Liu confronts her father about the reasons for not picking her up earlier. The Grand Emperor's explanation adds nuances to the familial relationships, revealing the complexities of ruling a kingdom amidst internal strife. This exploration of family dynamics contributes to the story's realism and depth.

**4. Acceptance and Love:

  • Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu despite the complications of her identity showcases a profound theme of unconditional love. His willingness to see beyond societal expectations and embrace her for who she is underscores the redemptive power of love. This theme resonates with readers as it explores the transformative nature of their genuine connections.
  • Xiao Liu's actions throughout the narrative, including facing the Grand Emperor's anger and sharing her painful past, demonstrate a form of sacrificial love. She is willing to endure hardships and potential consequences for the sake of Shi Qi's well-being and understanding.

**5. Symbolism and Transformation:

  • Xiao Liu's ability to transform becomes a symbolic motif throughout these chapters. Beyond its literal interpretation, transformation becomes a metaphor for personal growth, resilience, and the fluidity of identity. 

**6. Foreshadowing and Intrigue:

  • These chapters skillfully employ foreshadowing to hint at future challenges and conflicts. Shi Qi's acknowledgment that things have become more complicated sets the stage for potential obstacles in the characters' relationships. The narrative leaves readers intrigued, eager to unravel the mysteries and confrontations that lie ahead.

**7. Contrast in Reactions:

  • The contrast in Zhuan Xu and Shi Qi's reactions to Xiao Liu's revelation adds depth to the narrative. Zhuan Xu's initial anger and frustration, juxtaposed with Shi Qi's understanding and acceptance, highlight the diverse emotional responses to Xiao Liu's past. This contrast introduces tension and sets the groundwork for character development.

**8. Narrative Structure:

  • The narrative structure, weaving together past and present, contributes to the overall engagement of the reader. Flashbacks provide essential context to Xiao Liu's journey, allowing readers to empathize with her struggles and appreciate the significance of her reunion with the Grand Emperor.

In conclusion, chapters 9 (Part 4-7) of the narrative represent a poignant exploration of identity, acceptance, and familial bonds.

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             Analysis of Shi Qi's Understanding and Acceptance of Xiao Liu's True Identity:

Shi Qi's understanding and acceptance of Xiao Liu's true identity play a crucial role in shaping the dynamics of their relationship. This development is significant for several reasons, and analyzing it provides insights into the characters and the overarching themes of the narrative.

1. Unconditional Acceptance:

  • Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu despite her being the daughter of the Grand Emperor and the granddaughter of the Yellow Emperor speaks to the depth of his feelings for her. His willingness to embrace her, regardless of the complications and potential political implications, highlights a genuine connection that transcends societal expectations.

2. Complexity of Relationships:

  • The revelation of Shi Qi's engagement to Fang Feng Yi Yang adds a layer of complexity to the narrative. Despite this pre-existing engagement, Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu suggests that his feelings for her go beyond societal norms and predetermined alliances. It hints at the complexity of emotions and personal connections that often exist beneath the surface of political arrangements.

3. Foreshadowing Future Challenges:

  • Shi Qi acknowledging that things have become more complicated foreshadows potential challenges and conflicts in their relationship. This acknowledgment adds a layer of realism to their connection, recognizing that external factors and societal expectations can influence the course of their relationship.

4. Emotional Resilience of Xiao Liu:

  • Xiao Liu's past, marked by loneliness, fear, and a loss of identity, makes Shi Qi's acceptance even more poignant. It becomes a source of emotional support for Xiao Liu, offering her a sense of belonging and understanding that she has long sought. This dynamic reinforces the theme of resilience in the face of adversity.

5. Shi Qi's Emotional Intelligence:

  • Shi Qi's ability to navigate the complexities of Xiao Liu's identity reveals his emotional intelligence. He understands her fears, guilt, and the internal conflict she faces. This emotional awareness not only strengthens their connection but also positions Shi Qi as a character with depth and sensitivity.

6. Symbolism of Transformation:

  • Xiao Liu's transformative abilities become symbolic of personal growth and acceptance. Shi Qi's ability to see beyond her external identity and connect with the person beneath the transformations reflects a deeper understanding of love that goes beyond physical appearances.

7. Contrast with Zhuan Xu's Reaction:

  • Shi Qi's acceptance stands in contrast to Zhuan Xu's initial anger and frustration. While Zhuan Xu struggles with his emotions and the pain Xiao Liu endured, Shi Qi takes a more accepting and understanding stance. This contrast emphasizes the diversity of reactions to Xiao Liu's revelations and sets the stage for further exploration of these relationships.

8. Building Trust:

  • Shi Qi's acceptance contributes to the gradual building of trust between him and Xiao Liu. Trust is a foundational element in any relationship, and Shi Qi's ability to accept Xiao Liu for who she is fosters an environment where she can be more open and vulnerable.

In conclusion, Shi Qi's understanding and acceptance of Xiao Liu's true identity serve as a pivotal moment in their relationship. It adds depth to the characters, explores themes of love and acceptance, and foreshadows potential challenges for them both.

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     Analysis of Xiao Liu and Yeshiqi in chapter 9


1. Sacrifices and Risks:

  • Xiao Liu takes significant risks and makes sacrifices for Shi Qi. Despite her fears and uncertainties about revealing her true identity, she decides to share her past with him. Opening up about her painful experiences, including her time with the Nine-tailed fox, is a vulnerable act that demonstrates her trust and willingness to be honest with Shi Qi.

2. Emotional Connection:

  • The emotional connection between Xiao Liu and Shi Qi goes beyond the physical. Xiao Liu's willingness to share her deepest, most painful memories suggests a desire for emotional intimacy with Shi Qi. This kind of vulnerability is often associated with a deep emotional bond.

3. Protective Instinct:

  • Xiao Liu's protective instincts, such as shielding Shi Qi from the Grand Emperor's anger and ensuring his comfort, indicate a strong emotional attachment. Her actions go beyond mere friendship, suggesting a level of care and concern that is often associated with romantic love.

4. Shi Qi's Acceptance:

  • Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu, despite her complicated history and shape-shifting abilities, is a key element. Xiao Liu's fear of rejection and abandonment is alleviated by Shi Qi's understanding and unconditional support. This acceptance can contribute to the deepening of romantic feelings.

5. Intimacy and Closeness:

  • The intimate moments between Xiao Liu and Shi Qi, such as him covering her with a blanket and their close interaction during her revelation, imply a level of closeness that transcends mere friendship. These gestures can be interpreted as manifestations of affection and love.

6. Sacrificial Love:

  • Xiao Liu's actions throughout the narrative, including facing the Grand Emperor's anger and sharing her painful past, demonstrate a form of sacrificial love. She is willing to endure hardships and potential consequences for the sake of Shi Qi's well-being and understanding.

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  1. "Actually, I don’t care who you are. You are just you. Except things have become more and more complicated." - Shi Qi

    • This quote encapsulates Shi Qi's unconditional acceptance of Xiao Liu. Regardless of her complicated background and identity, he sees her for who she truly is, emphasizing the importance of personal essence over external factors.
  2. "I don’t know either. You should go ask the Grand Emperor, perhaps he will know why." - Shi Qi

    • Shi Qi's acknowledgment that he doesn't fully understand Xiao Liu's situation but suggests seeking answers from the Grand Emperor underscores his trust in Xiao Liu's family to provide clarity. It also reflects his openness to understanding her complexities.
  3. "I can’t see your true form so I feel like you’re hiding in a shell. I’m scared that if I open the shell, you’ll run away again." - Zhuan Xu

    • Zhuan Xu's metaphorical language of Xiao Liu hiding in a shell and his fear of her running away highlights the vulnerability and fear that Xiao Liu's transformative abilities may have instilled in her. It also illustrates the fragility of her emotional state.
  4. "You’ll find your true form." - Shi Qi

    • Shi Qi's reassurance reflects his belief in Xiao Liu's journey towards self-discovery and acceptance. The notion of finding one's true form extends beyond physical appearance, encompassing a deeper understanding of oneself.

Literary Analysis:

  1. Symbolism of Transformation:

    • Xiao Liu's shape-shifting abilities serve as a powerful symbol of personal growth and acceptance. The transformative nature of her identity mirrors the broader theme of self-discovery and the fluidity of identity over time. Her journey becomes a metaphor for the complexities of individuality.
  2. Acceptance Beyond Physicality:

    • Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu, irrespective of her changing appearances, symbolizes a love that transcends physical attributes. It emphasizes the idea that true acceptance is rooted in understanding and appreciating the essence of a person, independent of external changes.
  3. Metaphor for Emotional Struggles:

    • Xiao Liu's struggle with maintaining a consistent appearance can be seen as a metaphor for the emotional challenges she faces. The inability to hold onto a stable identity reflects the internal turmoil and uncertainty she grapples with, adding depth to her character.
  4. Trust and Vulnerability:

    • The act of Xiao Liu revealing her past to Shi Qi showcases a level of trust and vulnerability. Her willingness to share her darkest moments becomes a pivotal moment in their relationship, highlighting the transformative power of opening up to others.
  5. Journey Towards Self-Discovery:

    • Xiao Liu's quest to find her true form is not just a physical endeavor but a journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance. The theme encourages readers to reflect on the idea that true identity goes beyond external appearances and is an evolving, introspective process.
  • => Rejuvenate Hall - Rejuvenate Flower sealed weapon

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Quotes: 

  1. "Actually, I don’t care who you are. You are just you. Except things have become more and more complicated." - Shi Qi

    • This quote encapsulates Shi Qi's unconditional acceptance of Xiao Liu. Regardless of her complicated background and identity, he sees her for who she truly is, emphasizing the importance of personal essence over external factors.
  2. "I don’t know either. You should go ask the Grand Emperor, perhaps he will know why." - Shi Qi

    • Shi Qi's acknowledgment that he doesn't fully understand Xiao Liu's situation but suggests seeking answers from the Grand Emperor underscores his trust in Xiao Liu's family to provide clarity. It also reflects his openness to understanding her complexities.
  3. "I can’t see your true form so I feel like you’re hiding in a shell. I’m scared that if I open the shell, you’ll run away again." - Zhuan Xu

    • Zhuan Xu's metaphorical language of Xiao Liu hiding in a shell and his fear of her running away highlights the vulnerability and fear that Xiao Liu's transformative abilities may have instilled in her. It also illustrates the fragility of her emotional state.
  4. "You’ll find your true form." - Shi Qi

    • Shi Qi's reassurance reflects his belief in Xiao Liu's journey towards self-discovery and acceptance. The notion of finding one's true form extends beyond physical appearance, encompassing a deeper understanding of oneself.

Literary Analysis:

  1. Symbolism of Transformation:

    • Xiao Liu's shape-shifting abilities serve as a powerful symbol of personal growth and acceptance. The transformative nature of her identity mirrors the broader theme of self-discovery and the fluidity of identity over time. Her journey becomes a metaphor for the complexities of individuality.
  2. Acceptance Beyond Physicality:

    • Shi Qi's acceptance of Xiao Liu, irrespective of her changing appearances, symbolizes a love that transcends physical attributes. It emphasizes the idea that true acceptance is rooted in understanding and appreciating the essence of a person, independent of external changes.
  3. Trust and Vulnerability:

    • The act of Xiao Liu revealing her past to Shi Qi showcases a level of trust and vulnerability. Her willingness to share her darkest moments becomes a pivotal moment in their relationship, highlighting the transformative power of opening up to others.
  4. Journey Towards Self-Discovery:

    • Xiao Liu's quest to find her true form is not just a physical endeavor but a journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance. The theme encourages readers to reflect on the idea that true identity goes beyond external appearances and is an evolving, introspective process.

Xiao Liu's journey toward self-discovery and acceptance can be seen from a jungian perspective, as an attempt to integrate her various personas into a cohesive identity. This aligns with psychological theories that emphasize the importance of integrating different aspects of the self for psychological well-being.                                                                     "You’ll find your true form." - Shi Qi 

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@Peng-Peng: It would be out of character 

You  pointed out the potential subtleties in Jing's response and the Grand Emperor's subsequent inquiries. It's indeed very possible that Jing's discomfort and the Grand Emperor's probing suggest a deeper connection between Jing and Xiao Liu (Xiao Yao), which the Grand Emperor is keen to understand.

Your perspective highlights the tension in the scene and suggests that the Grand Emperor might be aware of the unspoken dynamics between Jing and Xiao Liu. Jing's uneasiness could stem from the fact that he is engaged but also has a close relationship with Xiao Liu, and the Grand Emperor might be subtly questioning the nature of that relationship.

Wich in the drama is very palpable...(ep.15).

                                                      My closure post for chapter 9=>

                                   Rejuvenate Hall - Rejuvenate Flower sealed weapon

                                             2 pictures/2 moments of Xiao Liu's life 

                                                                                          Xiao Liu /Xiao Yao.  

Chapter 10 – Who Knows Your Sorrow:

links to Lost you Forever  Chinese novel chapters index 

http://m.xsbiquge.la/chapters/36337

[Shi Qi stood under the awning to avoid Ah Nian and after she left he came over “You really want to go to Little Zhu Yen’s Autumn Tournament?”

Xiao Liu nodded “Zhuan Xu will go so I want to go with him. Before my dad announces me officially, before things completely change around me, I want to sneak in some last bit of freedom and fun.”
“Are you very close with Zhuan Xu?”......................

Do you wish to stay here by their side?”
I’m willing to spend time with them. But I’m lazy now and don’t want to be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess. But knowing my dad, my grandfather, Zhuan Xu’s personality…..........” Xiao Liu sighed “If I didn’t reappear it would be fine, but I’m here now so they will never allow me to return to being Wen Xiao Liu. I ran away before not because I was angry at them, it was also because I knew that once I returned to my real identity, it would be harder to leave here than to ascend to the Heavens.”
Shi Qi looked at Xiao Liu A person cannot choose their birth, even if we are unwilling, we must accept it.”

Shi Qi smiled warmly, a clear and gentle smile “If a heart is like a clean moon, even in the darkened clouds it will pass and the moon will return.”
Xiao Liu pointed to her heart and asked half in jest half serious “But if the lady’s heart is tainted, then will my lord’s heart be clear like the moon and shine it on the lady’s heart.”

TH  Chinese  text below

十七凝视着小六,说道:“人不能选择自己的出身,纵然不愿,也只能接受。”

小六对十七苦笑,“你,很复杂,我,很复杂,十五年后,究竟会怎么样呢?”

十七微微而笑,笑容明净温暖,“心若如明月,诸般变化都如浮云遮月,再纷扰晦暗,最终都会浮云散、明月出。”

小六笑指着自己的心,半真半假地说:“奈何妾心如墨染,若君心有明月,望君能常使明月向妾心。”
 Auto transaction:    Seventeen stared at Xiao Liu and said, "People can't choose their own origin. Even if they don't want to, they can only accept it."

Xiao Liu smiled bitterly at seventeen, "You are very complicated, I am very complicated, what will happen in fifteen years?"

Seventeen smiled slightly, and the smile was bright and warm"If the heart is like a bright moon, all kinds of changes are like floating clouds covering the moon. If you disturb the darkness again, the clouds will eventually disperse and the bright moon will come out."

Xiao Liu smiled and pointed to his heart and said half-true and half falsely, "But my concubine's heart is like ink. If there is a bright moon in your heart, I hope you can always make the bright moon to my concubine's heart."

Google translate:    [Shi Qi stared at Xiao Liu and said: "People can't choose their own origin. Even if they don't want to, they can only accept it."


Xiao Liu smiled bitterly at Shi Qi, "You are very complicated, and I am very complicated. What will happen in fifteen years?"


Shi Qi smiled slightly, her smile bright and warm, 
"The heart is like the bright moon, and all changes are like clouds covering the moon. No matter how dark it is, the clouds will eventually disperse and the bright moon will emerge."

Xiao Liu pointed at his heart with a smile and said half-seriously: "But my heart is stained with ink. If there is a bright moon in your heart, I hope you can always make the moon shine in my heart."}........
............................................................................................

Xiao Liu walked the garden with her daddy in a completely different mood. She chatted about everything and asked about anything. She even dared to suggest “Daddy, can I not be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess? I’m not saying I don’t want to be your daughter, I just don’t want to be a princess.”"........................“No!”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re my daughter, I am the Grand Emperor of Gao Xing.”...................
The Grand Emperor said “A person needs to have proper manners, it’s not a bad thing. As for marriage, who do you think I’ll sacrifice you to?”.....................................Please don’t reject it.”
Xiao Liu felt her tears about to fall and she took a deep breath “Dad, I’m willing to be the Princess.”..................................................................................

Half an hour later, Zhuan Xu’s great chess game was a complete and utter disaster under Xiao Liu’s hands. Xiao Liu refused to play another piece and used her hands to upend the entire board and announced “I won!”
Zhuan Xu shook his head with a sigh but Shi Qi smiled at Xiao Liu and looked very wistful and full of longing................................................................................

[“You think I’m great if I’m ugly?”
Everyone can appreciate a beautiful exterior, if I am the only one who can admire your beautiful interior then I’m happy.”
Xiao Liu felt her face redden and her heart beat faster. Shi Qi lately was the type who chose not to say much, but whenever he said something he had her feel totally off-kilter.
My heart is pitch black, where’s the beauty.”
“I think you’re beautiful and there is beauty in black.”
Xiao Liu guffawed “We’re like two peas in a pod.”

Chinese text of the above extract “我是丑八怪,你竟然觉得很好?”

“形之美,人人可见,心之美,非眼能看到,我愿意独享。”

小六一下子有些脸热心跳,十七现在是不开口则已,一开口总能让她败退,“我心墨黑墨黑的,哪里美了?”

“世间事,甲之砒霜,乙之熊掌,全凭个人所感,觉得美就美了。”

小六哈哈大笑,“就如王八对绿豆。

google trans: "I'm ugly, and you think it's fine?"

"The beauty of form can be seen by everyone, and the beauty of heart cannot be seen by the eyes. I am willing to enjoy it alone."

Xiaoliu's face suddenly felt hot and her heart was beating, but Qi Qi didn't open her mouth now. Whenever she opened her mouth, she would always be defeated, "
My heart is so black and so black, how can it be beautiful?"

"
Everything in the world is like arsenic to one person and bear's paw to another. It all depends on one's personal feelings. Whatever you think is beautiful is beautiful."..............................

Xiao Liu couldn’t eat anymore and washed her hands. Shi Qi took out a handkerchief and Xiao Liu reached for it but he didn’t hand it to her. He wrapped her hands in it and slowly dried it for it. Her hands were long dried but he still didn’t let go. He tightly held on to her two hands.
Xiao Liu’s heart was a bit jumbled and she kept her head down.
Shi Qi said in a low voice “Fifteen years. Don’t let another man into your heart.”
Xiao Liu raised her head and said with an laugh “Then what about fifteen years later? Can I let another man in fifteen years later?”
Shi Qi’s face darkened and he tightly gripped Xiao Liu’s hands.
Xiao Liu lightly shook their hands and softly said “Don’t worry and go. Fifteen years, I’ll wait for you.”
Since that connection and longing couldn’t be severed, then let it remain for fifteen years. After that fifteen years, whether the thread disappeared or became a web, no one knows............................

Not sad? I thought you really liked his company.”
“I really do like his company, but what I know even more is that there is no person who can keep company forever in this life. You and I have experienced too many partings, that heartbreaking gutwrenching sorrow we have endured too many times. I don’t want to hurt anymore so I learned to protect myself. You can call it being rational, or see it as being coldhearted. Zhuan Xu, do you have that feeling? If you have something and you like it so much, you will still remind yourself that it might be gone so you remain rational. Even if you like it it comes with a sense of melancholy, so when the time comes and it’s gone, you can be fine accepting the loss.”

We  see her with Jing and she shares her disappointment at having to be the princess   and. Jing asks her question in order to see how deep is her connection to her family.  after all  if he is to deal with his families and then be YSQ in the end,  she  would need to also  return to be WXL. would she be able to if she is attached deeply tom her family? Jing ask about her attending the tournament  so  maybe he go as well  if she will indeed be going there.   

I love the part in red . Xiao Liu asked  while pointing at her heart  that Jing makes the moon light of his heart shine on hers so her heart which is as dark as ink do not remain so.   Coming form here even if she say it 1/2 smiling but  1/2 seriously  it is huge  because she said in last chapters that. she has no  hope in that department. Xiao Yao  is hoping that Jing's heart will remove the darkness that is in her heart. That he will open her closed hear, break the chain that  she has put around it to lock it.  

We  see Xiao Yao (I will refer to her as such ) having to embrace her identity as the Gao Xin 1rst princess.  This is not what she wants as she does not see herself suited for the role, life style and all it entails due to her life experience since she ran away  but,  she cannot say "No" to her dear father

Later on she saw Jing and Zhuan  Xu play a game  of Go  and she ended up playing with Jing.  Xiao Yao end up playing with Jing and again does nothing right. This again shows us that Xiao You  is not a good tactician at all.  Jing  of course did not mind  since he longs  for these moments with his Xiao Yao.   Jing  told  Xiao Yao that he will be leaving now that he knows she is safe with people who love and are are taking good care of her.  Xiao Yao shared  again with Jing  what her father has told her of her changing appearance . She is worried that she may not be beautiful  and asked `Jing what would he do. if she is ugly.  Jing again offered her his confront.  and his word makes  her bush and her heart beat faster.  His word are affecting her in a sweet way as we can see in the texts.   Jing told her he does not care about her physical appearance  and that as long as he is the only one the appreciate her inner beauty, he is alright with that . He explained to her that   beauty is in the ye of the beholder depending of what that  person feels.     I  also love her reaction  and her admittance that  Jing does not always say a lot but when he  he does, she is always defeat by his words. they bring her to her knees so to speak, 

We see that Jing does not want to let her go and again ask her keep the 15 years promise. Xiao Yao being the pessimist that she  asked hi m softly then what after the b15 years? she then told Jing not to worry that she will keep her promise. 

 later on see her explain to her cousin  why shes is pessimistic.  This is her way to protect herself from  any disappointment if  what she hopes -company forever in this life-for does not come  to fruition. She has fsuffered enough and does not want to . She does not want  to keeper hopes up or have any hopes so she will be safe from hurting. 

Xiao Yoa and Jing are now embarking in her  journey as their true  identity even though they both do not wish to be . Xiao Liu/ will soo be a girl  but she is now the princess of Gao Xin Xiao Yao.   YSQ is going back to deal with being Tu Shan Jing. Our lovebirds will now  be dealing with the ups and down that will come with their true  identity Xiao Yoa  and Tu Shan Jing.   her cousin as Zhuan Xu  not Xuan the wine seller, will also be dealing with his the ups and down of being who he is.  

So what we have at this stage is:  Jing promised ~Xiao Liu to come back after 15 years as Ye `Shi QI,

Zhuan Xi promised to protect Xiao Liu,

 Xiang Liu promised nothing 

please see  Wnny post for Thai translation as she own the Thai version of the novel.

This is my  2 cents

Chapter 10 : Who Knows Your Sorrow:

Part 1

Abstract 

Shi Qi stood under the awning to avoid Ah Nian and after she left he came over “You really want to go to Little Zhu Yen’s Autumn Tournament?”

Xiao Liu nodded “Zhuan Xu will go so I want to go with him. Before my dad announces me officially, before things completely change around me, I want to sneak in some last bit of freedom and fun.”

“Are you very close with Zhuan Xu?”

Xiao Liu answered “I’ve never thought about whether we’re close or not. We fought as kids, we argued as kids, I called him Gege when I was happy, I called him Zhuan Xu when I wasn’t. We played together, we laughed together, we ate from the same rice bowl, we slept under the same blanket. When I saw him hurt I wanted the pain to fall on me. When I saw others mock him I was in so much pain for him. Gege’s suffered a lot all these years, his parents both died when he was small, and later my Mom raised him. After my Mom died in battle he was all alone, and when he was still small his various royal uncles all forced him to Gao Xing. Xuan Yuan is his homeland but there is no support for him there. He appears to be doing well in Gao Xing living as a Prince, but he’s been exiled here and even the maids can look down on him. They think he survives by the grace of the Grand Emperor. We’ve been apart for far too long so I don’t exactly what he’s endured, but right now all I want to do is spend more time with him.”

“Do you wish to stay here by their side?”

“I’m willing to spend time with them. But I’m lazy now and don’t want to be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess. But knowing my dad, my grandfather, Zhuan Xu’s personality……even Ah Nian that clueless one knows that it’s pointless to go up against them.” Xiao Liu sighed “If I didn’t reappear it would be fine, but I’m here now so they will never allow me to return to being Wen Xiao Liu. I ran away before not because I was angry at them, it was also because I knew that once I returned to my real identity, it would be harder to leave here than to ascend to the Heavens.”

Shi Qi looked at Xiao Liu “A person cannot choose their birth, even if we are unwilling, we must accept it.”

Shi Qi smiled warmly, a clear and gentle smile “If a heart is like a clean moon, even in the darkened clouds it will pass and the moon will return.”

Xiao Liu pointed to her heart and asked half in jest half serious “But if the lady’s heart is tainted, then will my lord’s heart be clear like the moon and shine it on the lady’s heart.”

Thai ver (book vol 2 page 14) on purple highlighted part..
There is a line before Shi Qi talked about the moon.

เสี่ยวลิ่วยิ้มเฝื่อนให้สือชี "เจ้าช่างสลับซับซ้อนยิ่ง ข้าก็สลับซับซ้อนยิ่ง สิบห้าปีให้หลัง ที่แท้จะเป็นเช่นไรกันนะ?"

สือชียิ้มละไม รอยยิ้มสดใสอบอุ่น "หากใจเป็นดั่งจันทรา สรรพสิ่ง ทั่วหล้าแปรเปลี่ยน เฉกเช่นเมฆาเคลื่อนคล้อย ลอยเลื่อนบดบังแสง เดือน มาตรแม้นหม่นหมองมืดมิด สักวันจักล้วนสลายมองเห็นจันทราหระจ่าง"

เสี่ยวลิ่วยิ้มพลางชี้ที่หัวใจตน กล่าวกึ่งเล่นกึ่งจริงว่า "เสียดายที่ใจน้องนั้น มืดมิดดั่งหมึกย้อม หากว่า ใจพี่มีจันทรา แล้วไซร้ ขอใจพี่เพียร สงจันทราสู่ใจน้อง"



My Translation...
Xiao Liu smiled awkwardly at Shi Qi. "You are complicated. I am also complicated. After 15 years pass, what will really happen?

Shi Qi smiled smoothly. His smile was fresh warm. "If a heart is like the moon, all things in world are changing just like the moving cloud covering the moonlight, making it pale and dark. Someday it will be destroyed and the moon will be seen clearly"

Xiao Liu was smiling and pointing to her heart, spoke with half seriousness annd half playfuness, "It is a pity that my heart is as dark as dyed by the dark ink. If my lord has the moon in the heart. Please let your heart shine on mine."

Remark: In Koala version of translation for the part of Xiao Liu poetic talk on the moon, I have translated "I" rather than "the lady". Because thai translator had used the word nong "น้อง" which means younger sister or brother ....but it also used to indicate first person(especially when a woman is using) when addressing to older siblings, boyfriend or husband. I decided to share the thai ver too because although it has almost same meaning there is a little different because there is no if (in Xiao Liu speech) in thai ver. And also Koala is missing one line. But Koala is really good though.

 From the original Chinese Text Shared by peng-peng.

TH  Chinese  text below

十七凝视着小六,说道:“人不能选择自己的出身,纵然不愿,也只能接受。”

小六对十七苦笑,“你,很复杂,我,很复杂,十五年后,究竟会怎么样呢?”

十七微微而笑,笑容明净温暖,“心若如明月,诸般变化都如浮云遮月,再纷扰晦暗,最终都会浮云散、明月出。”

小六笑指着自己的心,半真半假地说:“奈何妾心如墨染,若君心有明月,望君能常使明月向妾心。”
 

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Seventeen stared at Xiao Liu and said, "People can't choose their own origin. Even if they don't want to, they can only accept it."

Xiao Liu smiled bitterly at seventeen, "You are very complicated, I am very complicated, what will happen in fifteen years?"

Seventeen smiled slightly, and the smile was bright and warm. "If the heart is like a bright moon, all kinds of changes are like floating clouds covering the moon. If you disturb the darkness again, the clouds will eventually disperse and the bright moon will come out."

Xiao Liu smiled and pointed to his heart and said half-true and half falsely, "But my concubine's heart is like ink. If there is a bright moon in your heart, I hope you can always make the bright moon to my concubine's heart."


My Thoughts
Xiao Liu was still saying how she wanted to enjoy her free life first before becoming princess of Gao Xing again. With her saying about her getting out from Gao Xing again because both Grand Emperor and Zhuan Xu will not allow her to, still confirm me that not continuing her free life must have concerned in her not wanting to come back to Gao Xing since begining. 

A person cannot choose birth
Our origin is something that is hard to escape. We need to embrace what we are born with and make the best out of it for life. And our Xiao Liu is accepting it. And she had sympathy for her cousin, gege, Zhuan Xu in which he had to be exiled to Gao Xing. Although Grand Emperor was very nice to Zhuan Xu, life was still difficult for him and his four uncles at his homeland, Xuan Yuan, making him not able to return there. 

The dark cloud on the moon
The discussion about the moon between Shi Qi and Xiao Liu is romantic for me. It started out all with her talking about their 15 years promise because things are complicated now since they will no longer be Ye Shi Qi and Wen Xiao Liu without any ties. Now they have to embrace the title if Tushan Jing and Gao Xing Princess and all the ties that come with it. Would they be able to be together after that?
Then Shi Qi talked about how things can be changing and moving like the cloud which will cover the moon, however when the time comes the cloud needed to be moving away again. The moon will be shining again.
And with Xiao Liu reply, the way I understand the meaning  that her heart is sort of dyed dark, hard to open up, therefore Jing/Shi Qi need to lead her to open up her heart. 

Chapter 10

Part 2

Abstract

That night the Grand Emperor came to dine with them at Hua Yin Court and Shi Qi was included. This time Xiao Liu summoned all her proper manners to dine, but even back then she was never a right and proper lady plus with two hundred years passed, she pretty much forgot all her etiquette and was awkward all over.

Shi Qi assisted and provided reminders from time to time, whereas Zhuan Xu was totally hands off and sat by with a big smile waiting to watch Xiao Liu screw up. Xiao Liu pouted angrily “You’re just like when we were kids, you’re still a mean older brother!”

Zhuan Xu’s eyes flashed a moment of desolation, but then he laughed “If I’m not picking on you, then who shall I pick on?”

The Grand Emperor smiled “Don’t worry, just eat like you normally do.”

Xiao Liu smiled sweetly “Daddy is the best.”

My Thoughts

Dinner Time with Harmony

This is a short scene. Yet heart warming.
It states the character of Xiao Yao/Xiao Liu at dinner table manners. She was not a proper lady since the beginning.

Her father, Grand Emperor, and Zhuan Xu did not mind, although Zhuan Xu was sort of ready to laugh at her

Jing/Shi Qi was as usual too assisting his Wen Xiao Liu. 

I am sure everything was making Xiao Liu/ Xiao Yao comfortable and felt like home. 

Chapter 10

Part 3

Abstract

Qi Qing Garden had an abundance of water, flora, and exotic animals. Legend has it that the previous Grand Emperor loved strolling here the most. Xiao Liu remembered her mother bringing her here often to play. Sometimes staying the entire day, Xiao Liu playing in the water and fighting with the various animals while her Mom read. The entire Cheng En Palace was too big and many places she had never been to before. The two places she was most familiar with was her mom’s residence Cue Xing Court and here in Qi Qing Garden.

Xiao Liu strolled here and felt her nose getting twitchy and her eyes tearing up. It was exactly the same as in her memory and it was just like yesterday she was playing here.

They passed a pavilion and Xiao Liu suddenly rushed in and inspected a post and saw squiggly jagged lines carved on there. She excitedly cried out “Daddy, look! My drawing is still here!”

“And this! This is still here, too!” There were three lines scratched on the past where Xiao Liu stood against it years ago and her dad marked her height. She crowed back then that she would grow taller than her dad until he could’t mark the place for her.

The pavilion had been renovated many times but these doodles were carefully preserved.

The Grand Emperor kneeled with a smile “This was your greatest handiwork, and you told me that I had to keep it forever.”

Xiao Liu suddenly embraced the Grand Emperor, even if they had already reunited, she still didn’t feel like she had come home until now. Now she finally felt like she had come home.


Xiao Liu’s tear tumbled down and the Grand Emperor patted her on the pat, he didn’t comfort her and just let her cry, to let her cry out a few hundred years worth of hurt and pain.

Xiao Liu cried and cried, seemingly really going to cry three hundred years worth of tears. Finally she felt like it was too much and started hiccuping “Normally I’m not a crybaby.”

The Grand Emperor said “No need to feel bad, it’s my failing. A daughter’s tears is a father’s lacking.”

Xiao Liu stopped crying and asked him to measure her height again. He marked a slash above her head and said “You grew and grew, but you didn’t grow so tall that your dad can’t mark your height.”

Xiao Liu stuck out her tongue and then stared at the line with her face crestfallen “I don’t even know if this is my true height. I feel like everything is false.” When she told Zhuan Xu what happened, she tried to act nonchalant as if she was used to having no face. But now her true fear emerged.

The Grand Emperor touched her forehead and gradually a small peach blossom birthmark appeared in the middle. He said “You’re face changing is not some weird disease. It’s because you have a magical spiritual object in your body called the Face Forming Flower. It can allow a person to imprint any face.”

Xiao Liu asked quizzically “A spiritual object? I don’t have a disease? The object causes my face to change at will? But why does my body have this spiritual object? Her face suddenly lit up “Does that mean if the object is removed, then my true face will emerge? I can become my real self then?”

“Yes.”

Xiao Liu was so happy “Dad, take it out for me! I hate transforming and would rather that I was a freakishly ugly girl than be a fake beauty.”

The Grand Emperor’s hand caressed the peach blossom birthmark and it glowed a red aura. Back then it required the spiritual power of two Gods, himself and Xiao Yao’s mother, to seal it in Xiao Yao’s body. It would need the spiritual power of two Gods now to remove it. “Right now I can’t remove it but dad promises that I will help you find your true face.”

Xiao Liu wanted desperately to regain her true face immediately but knew her dad had a reason for not doing it right now. The Grand Emperor looked at the birthmark on Xiao Liu’s forehead and in his eyes was such hidden sorrow. He waved his hand and the birthmark disappeared.

After this big worry was lifted, Xiao Liu walked the garden with her daddy in a completely different mood. She chatted about everything and asked about anything. She even dared to suggest “Daddy, can I not be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess? I’m not saying I don’t want to be your daughter, I just don’t want to be a princess.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re my daughter, I am the Grand Emperor of Gao Xing.”

Xiao Liu immediately adopted the saddest puppy dog expression and grabbed her dad’s arm and shook it while pleading “But it’s so hard being the Princess. I have to eat properly, behave properly, and even my marriage is sacrificed to politics and gain. I don’t want to be the Princess!”

The Grand Emperor said “A person needs to have proper manners, it’s not a bad thing. As for marriage, who do you think I’ll sacrifice you to?”

Xiao Liu blurted out “I don’t know who you will sacrifice me to, I just….I just…..”

The Grand Emperor looked at Xiao Liu “I am the Grand Emperor, you are my daughter. You must be the Princess of Gao Xing. This is an imperial birthright, do you understand?”

Xiao Liu lowered her head and whined “Can I not understand?”

The Grand Emperor’s hand caressed Xiao Liu’s head and he said sadly “I’m not like any other dad, I have too much I need to deal with. I worry about a kingdom and its citizens. I cannot just let you do what you want. I need to protect my daughter and the only protection I can give my daughter is my authority. Only if you are the Gao Xing Princess can you enjoy the protection of the entire kingdom. Before anyone dares to harm you, they need to consider whether they can withstand the wrath of an Emperor. Xiao Yao, this is the only thing I can give you as a father who did not do his duty for you. Please don’t reject it.”

Xiao Liu felt her tears about to fall and she took a deep breath “Dad, I’m willing to be the Princess.”

The Grand Emperor smiled “Being a Princess isn’t all bad, at least you can misuse your authority and pick on people. You can be ruthless and lawless, taking whatever you want.”

Xiao Liu gaped “Daddy, are you sure you’re teaching your daughter the right things?”

The Grand Emperor grinned “I work so hard as the ruler of the kingdom and for what? I can’t do anything myself and I don’t have the time even if I wanted to. You don’t have that restriction. I can’t do anything but you can do everything. Who said it’s bad your dad is the ruler of a kingdom with supreme authority and can handle whatever you want to do.”

Xiao Liu was so shocked and confused and so utterly thrilled to have a dad! Having a dad who let her so whatever she wanted was the best feeling ever!

Father's Authority and Protection

This is truely father and daughter reunion scene. And our Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao was finally relaxed and happy.
Grand Emperor was saying his authority was something to protect his daughter. Grand Emperor was ready to pamper Xiao Yao.

The whole scene was nostalgic for Xiao Yao but also refreshing start.

The Birth Mark
There is now the explanation of the birth mark on Xiao Yao's forehead, which makes her able to change appearances as she liked.
However, Xiao Yao at the moment, just want to be her authentic self rather than any disguised beauty.

She is now back to home. And she wanted her original self back.

Chapter 10 

Part 4

Abstract 

In the morning, Xiao Liu came out of her room stretching like a cat, wandering the courtyard before leaning on a tree and staring at the sunlight in contentment.

Zhuan Xu and Shi Qi were playing chess and looked over to see her standing against the flower tree. Shi Qi’s heart skipped a few beats but Zhuan Xu teased “Did you steal a fish last night?”

Xiao Liu pulled a flower “I talked all night with dad.”

“You talk the most, but then you act like you haven’t talk all that much.”

Xiao Liu flew forward like she wanted to strangle Zhuan Xu “Let me tell you, I may not have powers now but don’t think I’m easy to pick on. I can make you not talk and not move if you piss me off.”

Zhuan Xu quickly added “Fine, fine, fine. I’m playing chess right now so don’t mess it up.”

Xiao Liu peered at the board and discovered it wasn’t a normal chessboard. It was a magical one used by Gods and she wanted to play.

Zhuan Xu tried to plead “I finally convinced Shi Qi to play with me, when we’re done with this match I’ll play with you.”

Xiao Liu pouted and walked over to Shi Qi “I want to play now.”

Shi Qi immediately put his pieces in her hand and Xiao Liu glared in victory at Zhuan Xu. She picked up a piece and surveyed the chessboard before putting it down and asking Shi Qi “This place good?”

“Very good!” said Shi Qi and Zhuan Xu at the exact same time. One said it in sarcasm, the other in gentle warmth.

Zhuan Xu stood up and pushed Xiao Liu to his spot “Since you’re not going to let us play in peace, you play with him!”

Xiao Liu clapped “Now you’re like an older brother!”

Xiao Liu played Zhuan Xu’s pieces and was her usual reneging on moves and generally being crap at everything. But no matter what Xiao Liu did, Shi Qi was patient and actually was playing seriously. But after each play he would teach Xiao Liu how to play better to avoid the next loss.

The way Zhuan Xu saw it, it was like a kid throwing a temper tantrum and rolling around on the ground. An adult didn’t stop him but also didn’t agree with it, only standing to the side and talking maturely with the kid. After the first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time……

Half an hour later, Zhuan Xu’s great chess game was a complete and utter disaster under Xiao Liu’s hands. Xiao Liu refused to play another piece and used her hands to upend the entire board and announced “I won!”

Zhuan Xu shook his head with a sigh but Shi Qi smiled at Xiao Liu and looked very wistful and full of longing.

Xiao Liu’s heart leapt a few beats and she calmed down to stare at Shi Qi.


The Chess Play

The chess play scene was humorous and fun. But it also tells about the characters well. The romantic attraction between Wen Xao Liu and Ye Shi Qi is presented with words Shi Qi's heart beat and Wen Xiao Liu's heart leapt. Zhaun Xu's reaction towards Xiao Liu is still that of a big brother who got annoyed at his little sister naughty act. He was all disappointed when Xiao Liu wanted to play chess when Shi Qi had agree. 

The way Shi Qi taught Xiao Liu to play chess is not like he is all after what she want. But he was seriously teaching her even if it isn't the interest of Wen Xiao Liu. The action tells Shi Qi aka Jing character of being patient and also caring towards Xiao Liu but also serious with what they are actually doing.
Abstract continue ....

Xiao Liu sat in the courtyard waiting and Shi Qi came back alone after a short while. Xiao Liu asked “What did my dad say?”

“Asked a few matters about my clan but nothing else much.”

Xiao Liu asked “It’s a few hours before sunset, what do you want to do?”

“Nothing. Let’s just sit here basking in the sun, smelling the flowers, and eating snacks.”

All of Xiao Liu’s favorite snacks were always prepared so Shi Qi brought a plate over and sat down in the corridor with Xiao Liu and enjoyed the view of the flowers.

Xiao Liu picked up a duck neck and munched “My dad said that my face transformation is due to a magical spiritual object in my body. When he removes it I won’t transform anymore. What will you do if I’m really ugly?”

You’re not.”

“What if I am?”

“That’s great.”

“You think I’m great if I’m ugly?”

“Everyone can appreciate a beautiful exterior, if I am the only one who can admire your beautiful interior then I’m happy.”

Xiao Liu felt her face redden and her heart beat faster. Shi Qi lately was the type who chose not to say much, but whenever he said something he had her feel totally off-kilter.

“My heart is pitch black, where’s the beauty.”

“I think you’re beautiful and there is beauty in black.”

Xiao Liu guffawed “We’re like two peas in a pod.”

Shi Qi stared at her smiling and she grinned before sighing “You be careful.”

“I know.”

“Even though your mother’s actions led to what your brother did, I know you feel pity and want to stop the cycle of vengeance, but don’t let him hurt you.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Worry? What me worry. I just think you’re rather stupid and want to remind you out of the goodness of my heart.”

Shi Qi smiled “I’ll take this fox tail that Zhuan Xu doesn’t want. After I create a magical spiritual object for you, I’ll give it to you.”

Xiao Liu nodded. If the Nine-tailed fox is the King of the fox tribe, then the leader of the Tu Shan clan would be the King of the fox kings. There was no one else in this world better than Tu Shan Jing who knew how to use the fox tail.

They ate snacks and chatted, talking about whatever came to mind, or silently sitting next to each other.

The sun gradually set and the sky gradually darkened.

Xiao Liu couldn’t eat anymore and washed her hands. Shi Qi took out a handkerchief and Xiao Liu reached for it but he didn’t hand it to her. He wrapped her hands in it and slowly dried it for it. Her hands were long dried but he still didn’t let go. He tightly held on to her two hands.

Xiao Liu’s heart was a bit jumbled and she kept her head down.

Shi Qi said in a low voice “Fifteen years. Don’t let another man into your heart.”

Xiao Liu raised her head and said with an laugh “Then what about fifteen years later? Can I let another man in fifteen years later?”

Shi Qi’s face darkened and he tightly gripped Xiao Liu’s hands.

Xiao Liu lightly shook their hands and softly said “Don’t worry and go. Fifteen years, I’ll wait for you.” Since that connection and longing couldn’t be severed, then let it remain for fifteen years. After that fifteen years, whether the thread disappeared or became a web, no one knows.

Farewell & Maintaining Promise 

It is now a time for Shi Qi to back to Tushan Clan to clear things off. 

15 years promised is spoken again. He asked her again to give him time and locked the heart. It was clear Xiao Liu agreed to this promise because she longed for him too, because she could not severed. 

We can clearly Shi Qi was in love with her just like any decent or ordinary man would be in love. The only fact is he is not letting go. He was in love with her even before he could see her true female. Their male female attraction is just very pure raw. I mean Xiao Liu attraction to Shi Qi was when he was still in bandage. And Shi Qi attraction to Xiao Liu was when she was still in false form.
Regardless of their appearances, their hearts beat. 

The promise is just a promise because there is no gurantee that it could be definetly fulfilled. Whether it would disappear or become a woven web, nobody just know yet.

Chapter 10: 

Part 5

Abstract 

Zhuan Xu patted Xiao Yao’s hand and said nothing. He always thought Xiao Yao would grow up like Ah Nian in the sunlight surrounded by rainbows, never seeing any darkness or danger. Like a Spring flower blooming so beautiful and pure. If Xiao Yao was like that, then Zhuan Xu would do everything in his power to protect her. But Xiao Yao today was not like he imagined, yet he wasn’t disappointed. Instead he felt like this was the Xiao Yao he really wanted, no, she was even better than he could have envisioned. Despite the long time apart, they could still immediately understand what each other was thinking. Whether it was beautiful, whether it was ugly, one was not afraid to show it, the other completely understood it.

“I have something to tell you.” Some things Xiao Yao kept inside and still never dared to share. She felt revealing it would be a mistake, would be deep pain, but not saying it felt like a bug growing inside her body gnawing at her insides. Only to Zhuan Xu could she share it without any hesitation.

“Tell me!” Zhuan Xu immediately said.

“That Nine-tailed fox said I wasn’t my daddy’s daughter. He said that mom was a slut and cheated on my dad with General Qi Yo of the Sheng Nong Kingdom. He said I was really the demon spawn of the most vicious monster who ever lived Qi Yo.” The Nine-tailed fox constantly insulted Xiao Yao’s mom, and initially she was angry and didn’t believe him, but after thirty years of hearing him say it over and over again, she started to get confused.

Zhuan Xu shot up and stared in shock at Xiao Yao. So this was the real reason she was too scared to come home.

Xiao Yao’s eyes were filled with confusion and terror “The Nine-tailed fox said that Qi Yo and my Mom were a pair of adulterous lovers and I was their love child. He said my mom was devious and lied to my dad and to the entire world by passing me off. If my dad knew the truth, he would destroy the demon spawn that was me……”

“Be quiet!” Zhuan Xu slapped his hand over Xiao Yao’s hand “You believe the words of that demon fox? Auntie killed Qi Yo with her own hands! Plus Master is so smart, how could he not know you’re not his daughter? Be honest with yourself, how does Master treat you?”

Xiao Liu stared at Zhuan Xu with her tears filled with tears “So I’m daddy’s daughter?”

Zhuan Xu said with absolute certainty “You are definitely Master’s daughter!”

Dad and Gege were both the smartest of the lot, and if those two smart men reached that conclusion, then Xiao Liu finally relaxed and smiled “Yes, I’m too foolish, I have to be daddy’s daughter!”

Zhuan Xu said “Master is a great man. Years ago when my four royal uncles wanted to eliminate me, I remembered my dad told me when he was still alive about the friendship between our eldest uncle and Master. Auntie also told me before that if I ever ran into any problems to write a letter to the Grand Emperor asking for help. I wrote to him when I had no other option left and he wrote back welcoming me to Five Gods Mountain anytime. When I came I was filled with trepidation, but he treated me like I was his real son. He taught me how to run a nation and when I did well he was proud of me and when I made mistakes he never hesitated to punish me. One time I was injured by an assassin and he encouraged me to train my own personal guards. Do you know that my guards cannot even take orders from him. One time he purposely ordered something contrary to my orders, and those guards who listened to him were then killed because he told me that the people who guarded my life could only be loyal to me.”

Xiao Liu said “Daddy is so great, then why would my Mom divorce him? I used to think it was because Dad did something wrong to Mom, but you see Ah Nian’s mom. Ah Nian’s real name is Gao Xing Yi, and Yi means memory while Nian means missing. Her name is all about missing someone and past memories. If Daddy was so missing the past and only had my Mom in his heart, then why would my Mom not want my Dad? Sometimes I really hate her!”

Zhuan Xu remembered his mom and said with a sigh “I don’t know! We can’t understand them! Sometimes I hate my mom, too. Right before she committed suicide, she held me in her arms and begged me to forgive her. She gave birth to me and then abandoned me. How can I forgive her?”

Xiao Liu said “In the future if I had kids, I will never leave them no matter what happens.”

Zhuan Xu said “In the future when I marry a wife, I will ask for her whether she’ll die if I die first. If she wants to die with me then I don’t want her!”

.......

Zhuan Xu smiled matter-of-factly “The road to power is always littered with blood and bones. I don’t just want to go back to Cao Yun Court, I want the entire Xuan Yuan Mountain.” In front of others he was always refined and charming, the noble young master who excelled at the arts and socializing. Only in front of Xiao Yao did he show his ruthlessness and ambition.

Xiao Yao laughed “You go fight for it then!” Just like a phoenix was destined to rise to the Heavens, Zhuan Xu was born to wield power. She knew that truth since she was very small.

Zhuan Xu said “Right now everyone in the Xuan Yuan Court is aligned with our royal uncles. I once used the merman tribe to request a summons to bring Prince Zhuan Xu back to Xuan Yuan and it was immediately opposed by the entire court. So if I am to go back, I need an excuse that no one can oppose. For that I’m going to need to use you.”

Xiao Yao smiled “You can use me all you want.”

Zhuan Xu’s face was nestled in the palm of Xiao Yao’s hand and he said in a low voice “It’s so good to have you back. I’m not fighting all alone anymore.”

“Hey, I never said I was going to help you and fight with you.”

Zhuan Xu lifted his head and smiled “You don’t want to help? But its too bad because I’m your Gege! So even if you don’t want to help, the moment I’m in danger you’ll come running to help anyways.”

Xiao Liu smacked him “You’re shameless! People say a brother needs to protect his little sister, but you’ve got it switched around and are shamelessly waiting for me to protect you!”

Zhuan Xu sighed “I have no choice, I haven’t been able to win in a fight with you since we were kids.”

“And you’re not embarrassed to bring that up now?”

“Xiao Yao” Zhuan Xu’s teasing faded and he got serious “You’ve been whatever goes for so long, but I know you won’t be able to sit back and watch me without getting involved. Once I go back to Xuan Yuan, whatever I do will clearly impact you. The people who want to get rid of me will try and harm you. So why should I act like you won’t get involved? Rather than vowing not to get you involved, I’d rather tell you up front so you are better prepared.”

Xiao Yao patted Zhuan Xu’s hand to indicate that she understood. She said “Zhuan Xu, do you remember? When grandmother was about to die, she grabbed both our hands and said that we were poor children and that we needed to stick to each other from then on and take care of each other.”

“I remember.” It was long engraved in his heart, how could he forget? Zhuan Xu vividly remembered their grandmother’s dying request. Because his parents died so tragically, he grew up very young and he solemnly promised grandmother that he would protect his sister for life. Xiao Yao didn’t understand at that time so she merely copied him and promised to protect her Gege for life.

My thoughts will be in the next reply.

.

Chapter 10

Part 5

My Thoughts 

Xiao Yao & Zhuan Xu

Xiao Yao's Fear Inside
It's only finally when Xiao Yao and Zhuan Xu were together alone that she was able to reveal her true fear inside. She feared always that she might be the bastard child and her mother might be adulterous. And she scared it might be true. But Zhuan Xu comforted it wasn't. 

Zhuan Xu's Wrecked Feelings On Parents'Love

In my opinion, Zhuan Xu's mother suicide to be his dad, leaving him, must have impact on Zhuan Xu take on love and marriages. I think he always thought his mother must be so irresponsibility and such love must be a absurd.

Grand Emperor Teaching Of Politics&Wars
According to how Zhuan Xu describe on Grand Emperor, as an Emperor, indeed he has to be ruthless and taught Zhuan Xu like he was his own even to kill off the guards whom had been appointed to Zhuan Xu when the guards were not only listening Zhuan Xu's order. It was really strict and also a bit of ruthless. However, when managing army and running a nation, those ruthless acts must be involved. 

Zhuan Xu's Depending On Xiao Yao
Zhuan Xu was very frank about how he needed Xiao Yao in his journey to conquer throne. He was so sure about their strong bond, comfort in each other. With Xiao Yao already using her life to protect him. With Xiao Yao, he craved to depend on her. 

Promise To Protect Each Other
Their promise to protect each other started since they were kids they vow to protect each other in front of their grandmother and mothers.  Again this promise is now revoked. 

In chapter 10 we also learnt about A Nian's real name meaning,  Gao Xing Yi which means "missing". It was like A Nian was a substitute for Xiao Yao. Zhuan Xu had treated A Nian like his own sister and protected her the way he wanted to protect Xiao Yao. Nevertheless, he appreciated how strong Xiao Yao had become.