Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 Kokuto:

There is also no indication that he knew he could get rid of the bug at this time.

There was no evidence of how XL knew about the bug at all in the book. But it seems that he knew everything. With his personality, I think he had collected all the data about the bugs before making the decision. However, the drama is different. we saw him visiting the Li rong veterant. Then we have to wait season 2 if they included the scence where he learnt how to "remove" the bug. If nobody told him and he figured it out by himself, he would be talented at poison bug since XY didn't know how eventhough she studied a lot of books about poison bug (she did it after engagement with Jing + knowlegde about the book from her childhood)

 Kokuto:

The only requirement for transfer was that the couple share love.  He could have easily told her to transfer it to Jing, who at that point to his knowledge, was an heir to a powerful clan, who could easily protect her

At that time, he didn't know Jing loved WXL. He didn't if Jing was willing to accept the bug. and if his assumption on WXL's feeling for him is correct, then WXL had no love with Jing. So I don't see any reason that XL told WXL to ask Jing to lure the bug from CX. 

So, WXL discussed with him and asked him for help. He also emphasized that he wanted to plant on only him. He was the most suitable one to lure the bug. The only knot here is why didn't he tell WXL it's lovers' bug? If he had done so, would WXL still have asked him to lure the bug? Both of them at that point did not dared to admitt their affection first to the other

 Kokuto:

because he WANTED to share the Love Bug with her.  It wasn't so much about protection, and it definitely wasn't to give her to time to find a way to get rid of the bugs -- cause he certainly didn't do anything to get rid of the bugs until he knew he was going to die.

So, he could sense her feeling. The bug was fine even XY dated and engaged with Jing for more than 40 years. So I think he wanted to keep it as long as he could. it definitely helped protect XY's life 3 times just within 7 years before he died (~ 2 weeks before his death, he still saved her life). The world was not kind to her, she had many enermy

 H19279:

There was no evidence of how XL knew about the bug at all in the book. But it seems that he knew everything. With his personality, I think he had collected all the data about the bugs before making the decision. However, the drama is different. we saw him visiting the Li rong veterant. Then we have to wait season 2 if they included the scence where he learnt how to "remove" the bug. If nobody told him and he figured it out by himself, he would be talented at poison bug since XY didn't know how eventhough she studied a lot of books about poison bug (she did it after engagement with Jing + knowlegde about the book from her childhood)

Really?  That's a really weird omission in the book, given how much turns on those Love Bugs and how ignorant XY is, with all her knowledge and books and the person she got it from.

I still think he had no desire to get rid of the bug, when he accepted it, so it wouldn't be something he was concerned about.

 H19279:

At that time, he didn't know Jing loved WXL. He didn't if Jing was willing to accept the bug. and if his assumption on WXL's feeling for him is correct, then WXL had no love with Jing. So I don't see any reason that XL told WXL to ask Jing to lure the bug from CX.

So, WXL discussed with him and asked him for help. He also emphasized that he wanted to plant on only him. He was the most suitable one to lure the bug. The only knot here is why didn't he tell WXL it's lovers' bug? If he had done so, would WXL still have asked him to lure the bug? Both of them at that point did not dared to admitt their affection first to the other

I think he knew Jing loved WXL.  He remarked on their relationship in their ... second meeting?  His first encounter with 17 had him invading the resistance army camp to save WXL and giving XL the murderous look when he saw WXL's back.  Dude was always waiting for him to return WXL ... and even tried to stop him from going with XL one time.

WXL discussed it with XL because they didn't know the bug required love to be shared between them.  Plus, XL was their choice of original host, and her original intent remained, that whoever she shared the bug with would suffer her pain.

There was a lot of lies and things that had not be discussed or revealed between them at that point.  She was still trying to pass herself off as a man.  She hadn't revealed her identity or why she spared CX.  I'm not sure if XL was entirely sure about his feelings, much less her feelings for him.

 H19279:

So, he could sense her feeling. The bug was fine even XY dated and engaged with Jing for more than 40 years. So I think he wanted to keep it as long as he could. it definitely helped protect XY's life 3 times just within 7 years before he died (~ 2 weeks before his death, he still saved her life). The world was not kind to her, she had many enermy

He definitely wanted to keep it.  I think because he loved her.  Like the poison she sent him, it was the only expression of their love that he could enjoy.

 blabla100:

That ball was made way before her marriage to FL and we can't know for sure if she made it with the intention to ever have it send to XL or not, but one thing  we can conclude for sure is that the globe is a depiction on her view on what she thought her dynamics with XL was.

So first look at the chronical events again:

In the end of chapter 26, after their meeting and excursion in the sea on CX's first marriage, XY heard from Se Mai Er that her bugs could be the legendary Lovers' bug. She looked toward QS town and further - vast ocean and mumured "lovers's bugs" ---> She probably recalled the 37 year together with XL and what he did for her during that time. And she also wondered about 2 things that could not be controlled - birth and death. ---> I have the feeling that she knew about what Lovers' bug was. The book about Jiuli act of poison and poison bug probably covered some basic information about it. 

In Chapter 28, she enagaged with Feng Long which a few months after CX's marriage. AT that point, she farewelled with her past with Jing and thought of a stable, simple life with FL.

Chapter 29, shortly after her engagement, CX ascended to the throne and XY met FFB in the casino She told XL that after marriage she would stop making poison for him. And later they went to the donkey restaurant and farewelled each other in front of Xiao Zhurong's mansion.  XY had the feeling that FFB stepped out of her life and after that she suffered depression. 

About 2 years later, she made the ice-crystall ball during her depression time (which lasted for 3 years until she returned to Gaoxin). During 13 month in Gaoxin, she got better since there were no memory related to FFB there. But CX forced her to go back to Sheng Nong and her depression returned. We know that depression tied with FFB since when her grandfather asked about FFB, she got worsen. She stopped making poison too. Then her grandfather showed her Jan Emperor's diary which encouraged her to learn medicine in proper way. And her mood got better. Thus, I think she only stopped making poison for short period after returning to Sheng Nong until starting learning medicine. 

Another 2 peaceful years passed and FL wanted to fix the wedding. So, I think XY still made and sent poison to XL during this 2 years. She sent poison to XL every 3-4 month, thus since the moment of making the ice-crystal ball, she probably made and sent about 10 batches of poison to him. XY had long plan for the ice-crystall ball. And she planned and intended to use it as the last poison - the last gift for him. It was a kind of her overview/conclusion about their relationship. I agree with @blabla100 on this

 blabla100:

 we can conclude for sure is that the globe is a depiction on her view on what she thought her dynamics with XL was. She did aknowledge her feelings for him, she was aware of them, but at the same time we can also notice that she was unsure of what XL feels for her,  since she made the merman looking away from her pleading hands.

Generally, she made edible poison for XL, however, the ice-crystal ball was not edible "except the ice crystal was so hard that even knives and swords couldn’t damage it". This was clearly aimed as a souvenir for their farewell. In addition to that message, in my opinion, XY took a gamble with the ice-crystal ball too. She enclosed a short message with the crystal ball: 

两个月后，我成婚，最后一次为你做毒药，请笑纳。

The scenery inside the ice-crystal ball depicted a peaceful sea which reminded the scenery of their excursion on CX's wedding day. She asked XL about the ocean, the islands and she wanted to live the life as such forever. She placed the time of the wedding at the front of the message, drawing the attention and hinting that it was his last chance too. Overall her ice-crystal ball conveyed her message that "I have feeling for you but i am confused or don't know your intention/feeling for me. If you love me, want to hold my hand and have a free, peaceful life together, take action within 2 months otherwise I will get married. 

Jing got married, becoming father. He was out of her plan. When FL asked her about the wedding, she thought of 2 choices: 

Xiaoyao felt that if it was true as Fenglong said, life had already been kind to her. Chishui City is neither big nor small, beautiful and peaceful. Maybe she can open a medical clinic in Chishui City, and live a normal life without heart-stirring joy or gutwrenching pain. She wanted to agree, but when the words came to her lips, she couldn't get them out, so she could only nod.

At that time, XY's life looked calm and back to normal, but she still suffered from the sorrow and longing for FFB. She worked hard during the day to distract her from longing, making the sleep better and reduced heartache. However, subconsciously her action still connected to FFB. Despite no archery practice, she incorporated it in her daily acupunture. She did not see FFB for 6 years, her life seemed to be fine but deep down in her heart, it was gutwrenching pain. So, she faced with 2 choices: continue to live in such life or let go and have a boring and normal, peaceful life with FL. She used the marriage to gamble on XL's intention of having life with her, running away together. If he did so, it also prove that she was the most important in his heart. At that point she didn't ask him to be FFB, she was willing to run away with XL. 

Probably because she has practiced archery for many years, Xiaoyao integrated archery skills into acupuncture. The method she uses with needles is very different from the acupuncture methods commonly used by doctors.

Although he was just a puppet, Xiaoyao became a real person and did not dare to ignore it at all. After practicing a set of acupuncture techniques, Xiaoyao was sweating profusely.

Cangxuan took a handkerchief to wipe her sweat, and said with some distress: "There are many doctors in the palace, why do you have to work on these details?"

Xiaoyao smiled and said, "If you concentrate on doing something during the day, you can sleep better at night."

"Is your insomnia better than before?"

"Since I started to concentrate on studying medical skills, I am much better than before." Although it is still difficult to fall asleep, the number of times I wake up from my dreams is much less. Because I slept well, my heartache was greatly reduced.

Cangxuan's eyes were very complicated. Xiaoyao's illness was caused by Jing. Although she never mentioned Jing now, it was obvious that after so many years, she still had not forgotten Jing. (Chapter 31)

Note: XY hid XL/FFB very well so that CX still thought that her sorrow/problem was due to Jing.

 windiaaa041293:

Look, it's a dream again... how many time she dreamed of XL

Yes, she woke up, crying when she dreamed of XL. When she dreamed of only Jing (after his marriage), she did not want to wake up because it was sweet in the dream but she felt bitterness when waking up. 

 blabla100:

She did aknowledge her feelings for him, she was aware of them, but at the same time we can also notice that she was unsure of what XL feels for her,

 blabla100:

She wasn't pleading and begging for XL to save her from that marriage, she was pleading and begging for XL to look her way, that's what her view on XL's feelings for her was years before even setting a wedding date with FL

I don't disagree with these points. In fact, I agreed with many of your points in that post. I think where we differed is that I'm not as kind about how Xiao Yao chose to conduct herself - her extreme fear of rejection and abandonment had her acting in ways that, at times, had her come across as faithless and fickle, IMO. Yes, it was her trauma, but that doesn't mean that her actions don't have an impact on how things turned out. XL's choices played a role, but so did hers - their individual choices influenced the other party.

 blabla100:

She never knew XL loved her, on the contrary, she thought he is just using her, she never learned that she did, în fact, manage to poison him.

I wouldn't say that she didn't know, more like she needs more evidence/confirmation. 50/50 wasn't good enough, she wanted more certainty before she would be willing to do anything. Everything with XY comes down to her insecurity, and fears of rejection so she's never willing to be the one to take the first step. Many of her exchange with FFB in chapter 28 was her "fishing" for a confession or confirmation from him about his feelings for her. 

 blabla100:

Even going back to the 37 years underwater, since that is what the globe depicts, it was, again, XL who took the decision for both of them, when he decided to be away when she wakes up. Even his half-statement/half-question "I hope you won't hate me when you wake up" makes me belive that he was aware that XY wanted him and hoped for him to be there or at least aknowledge his feelings for her, yet he decided to abandon her and make her belive that it was all a transaction and the help he gave her was only because he wanted that mountain from CX.

I see his "I hope you won't hate me when you wake up" has more to do with the fact that she had become a demon like him. XL can only make decisions for himself; he chose not to come out to see her. Nothing stops her from refusing to leave until he shows himself or seeking him out later after making sure that Jing is OK. If after the 37 years, XY wanted to have a relationship with XL, then her behaviour after waking up doesn't exactly instil confidence in her commitment to their relationship. 'Cause it really didn't take much to have her running back to Jing.

37 years - she suspected that he used one of his life to exchange for hers, she knew that he fed her his essential soul blood monthly, that he cuddled her in his arms after the healing was done and took her on excursions so she wouldn't get bored. These are not the behaviour of someone for whom this was just a transaction. 37 years in exchange for a promise that may not even eventuate at this point - XL got himself a bum deal. Was XY stupid to not understand all of these things or did she simply choose not to understand? All it took was for him not to be there to see her, and the minute that she was told that Jing couldn't live without her, she was all over him like white on rice (and this was before CX told her about the deal with XL). What does it tell XL about XY's commitment? 

The same pattern played out after the bride's snatch. Sent the crystal ball while engaged to another man. Didn't want to face her feelings for him with that last question. And 3 months between sending XL the crystal ball and running back to Jing to start a reconciliation. 3 months! I've committed and been devoted to a boba tea flavour for longer than that. Like I said, fickle and faithless. You can argue that XL rejected her so she's under no obligation to him, but really? 3 months? I questioned how deep her commitment went. However deep it was, it seemed that it was not as deep as her insecurity and fears. How could XL pursue their relationship, particularly when he can only offer her something short-term when this is the message that her behaviour sent him? He probably already knew all of this and that was why he didn't pursue things further and left Jing as an option for her. Probably cause he knew that XY was not emotionally strong enough to deal with him "abandoning" her with his death, so he didn't want to place her in that position. If XY was different, and weren't plagued by fears, XL might have felt more comfortable with pursuing their relationship.

 blabla100:

Afterwards, when she did decide to sent him the ball, it was mostly an ultimatum and XL knew that.

It's rich that she's the one who's giving him an ultimatum when she was the one who rejected him in the first instant. He travelled the long distance between QS Town and 5 Gods Mountains twice for her, he wanted their relationship; she was the one that made a promise with an engaged man. All these years later she wants a relationship? Too little too late. I wonder if XY ever thinks back to that moment outside of the Dragon Bone Prison and kicked herself.

 blabla100:

At the end of the day, I belive she only needed a confession from him, not even a commitment, a confession and everything would have been game over with Jing.

This I agree with. It's not that I doubt that she loves XL and that her feelings for XL far exceed her feelings for Jing. That crystal ball was probably the biggest gamble that XY took; the first time that she risked rejection and took the first step in her relationship. The issue was that her fears were never far from the surface. By this point as well, I think XL was quite set in his path and whatever chances that were left pretty much died after the bride snatch. And XY running back to Jing soon after probably confirmed to XL that he'd made the right choice. 

 blabla100:

Even în chapter 37, when she was already engaged with Jing, that whole discussion she had with XL on the boat, after she learned more about the bugs, it was still an attempt from her to get a confession from XL, but as usual, it was met with a rejection. Even so, when she found out that XL always knew what type of bugs these were, she was ready to jump after him in the ocean, not even considering that Jing was waiting for her inside.

You know, a lot of my problems with XY come from differing values and obviously, I don't have XY's issues with fears of rejection and abandonment. I get why she is the way she is, and yet the thought of being in love with one man, still hopeful about a love confession from him while holding on to another as some kind of safety net is a lot for me to wrap my head around :-). XL knew that XY's fears were far too strong so he chose to not confess his feelings or pursue their relationship. I don't see this as him making her decision for her; he's simply exercising his right to his own decisions. If XY was stronger, and not so fearful, she could have exercised her rights to ardently pursue their relationship and she wouldn't need to hold onto Jing the way that she does. That would drastically change things. But XY is XY and her fears are parts of her defining characteristics, and shaped the choices that she made which led to the outcome that we got. 

Like I said way back when, I don't blame either one of them for the outcome of their relationship. I don't blame XY for being fearful of committing to XL. I do not like the messy way that XY's went about things. She loves XL, but is too fearful to fully commit to him so every time he rejects her she runs back to Jing faster than The Flash :-)

@H19279

"The scenery inside the ice-crystal ball depicted a peaceful sea which reminded the scenery of their excursion on CX's wedding day."

 Can also suggest the pursuit of the merpeople, the one they saw in chapter 26. Just that in XY's take, it was the mermaid who was pursuing the merman, on her white clan shell, with one hand on the heart, while the other reaching to grab the merman. 

你知道小天现在想亲你

都是出于怜惜

她觉得你怎么这么自卑

她在鼓励你的这种感情

You know Xiaotian wants to kiss you now

It's all out of pity

Why does she think you are so inferior?

She's encouraging your feelings

Cnetz comment: I don’t know what else the official supporting party can refute when they see the behind-the-scenes footage of the director telling the story.

@HeadsInTheCLouds

About chapter 37,  let's be reasonable, him leaving her alone AND sending fur ball to take her back is a rejection. She clearly understood XL's intention. Yes, she could have refused to leave or even come back after Jing got better, but IMO by not doing any of these, she respected XL's decision. Would have been of no use even if she didn't, on the contrary, she would have only made things worse between them. 

It's not only XY's trauma to take into consideration, but also XL's determination. He was the dominant between the two, she never got her way when it came to him, never. He went to great lenghts to minimize his help, by not being there when she woke up, by sending fur ball to take her back asap, by making a deal with CX in exchange, I mean it is obvious that he didn't want XY to get her hopes up and start dreaming about him. You can't force things up when it comes to XL, once he made a decision there is no turning back. XY was wise enough to understand this, otherwise he would have probably exit her life much sooner than the bride's snatch episode. 

In QS town things were even between them, two people with a similar past and an uncertain future who alleviate each other's loneliness. After she became a princess and faced with Jing's  promise of accompany her forever things changed. They were both torn between the love they had for eachother and their lifetime-long goals. Between them two, XY was weaker. If not for XL determination and selfless love, she would have likely ended up throwing her whole life down the drain. XL, on the other hand, stood his ground basically the whole time. Yes, he, too, had his moments of weakness, but once he made up his mind, he never crossed the limits. The underwater kiss she was so close of giving in chapter 26 was a limit, the crystal ball was a limit, XY's intention of going after him underwater after the Voodoo king's discussion was a limit, XY throwing herself at him în chapter 43 was a limit, even her request to CX to spare XL's life was a limit. Everytime XY came close to cross a limit, XL withdrew himself even more from her life. 

XY was, by no means, dumb but XL was both stronger and smarter than her. At the end of the day, she knew that one has no power to control one's life and death. She couldn't control her birth in order for her to be the one who saved XL from the slave match arena and she couldn't control his death alongside the army either. She did try to take control over what's between life and death, but XL didn't allow her to.