Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 liddi:

Welcome! Misery loves company, so you are definitely welcome here!

Have you read the novel? If so, you would definitely know how this ship is going to end. Either way, there is group therapy available and I see that @nathsketch has offered chocolates and teddy bears too (hey! where's my chocs and teddies?!) In any case, do join us and jump right in! 

OH MY GOSH, you really need chocs and teddies. Especially with all the heavy work you've been doing for us mere mortals \O/

Actually, you deserve more. You deserve diamonds!

 nathsketch:

Actually, you deserve more. You deserve diamonds!

Awww thank you! Can I take the model along with the diamonds too? It would be incomplete without him. Yes yes?

 H19279:

Dear all,

We have discussed about what was XL's original plan after moving the Lovers' bug from CX to him. There was indeed some reasonable options.

However, we didn't take into account WXL's plan after that momment. If I remember correctly, WXL planned to disappear.  Tian Er and YSQ detected her intention. If CX had not returned to bring her back to Gaoxin (in time), WXL would have left QS town, changing her appearance. Then none could trace her. Maybe XL could if he come across her in the mortal life due to the bug connection. However, that chance would be low. 

I don't know if she would keep her "promise" to XL (in the first encounter) that she wanted to stay in QS town forever. She is good at lying, isn't she

Hmm. That was not my impression. Based on the novel, Xiao Liu went back to her old life after Cang Xuan left Qingshui town, and the lovers bug was moved from him to Xiang Liu. At the time, she had no inclination that Cang Xuan would return since there was no reason for him to do so. What she did not count on was the Gao Xin king honing in on her, and insisting that Cang Xuan brought her to Gao Xin. So, no, the way I see it, she would not have left Qingshui town, if not for Cang Xuan forcibly taking her away.

 liddi:

Hmm. That was not my impression. Based on the novel, Xiao Liu went back to her old life after Cang Xuan left Qingshui town, and the lovers bug was moved from him to Xiang Liu

Here are the part in Chapter 8 about WXL's plan to leave QS Town after moving the bugs:

After some time, Jing’s voice spoke “You tenderly cleaned my wounds. You carefully washed my hair. You patiently fed me medicine and food. You gently bathed my body. You were afraid I was in pain so you talked with me. You were afraid I was ashamed so you told me jokes. You were afraid I would give up so you described the beautiful views for me. You were afraid I was lonely so you told me interesting stories. You didn’t just heal my body, you saved my soul. You will never be able to imagine how much I wish I were Ye Shi Qi. But I have no choice but to be Tu Shan Jing. Because of this, more than you I hate myself. I know you hate Tu Shan Jing so I control myself not to come visit you. But I’m scared to leave. You gave Ma Zi a family, you found Xan Tian Er for Chuan Zi, you set up everything for Lao Mu. You are already prepared to leave it all behind and continue wandering. I’m afraid if I turn around even for a second, I won’t be able to find you ever again.”

This was the first time Jing spoke so much and the atmosphere was very solemn. He silently looked at Xiao Liu but Xiao Liu never turned around. Jing finally got up and quietly left.

Xiao Liu suddenly collapsed on the pallet and stared at the wind chime. Shi Qi saw through it, that he was planning to leave. Someone walked into the yard and Xiao Liu covered his eyes and said in annoyance “I’m resting, don’t bother me!”

XY could change her appearance easily. If she run away, it would be enormously difficult to find her.Despite any plan that he had in mind,  XL would have found super disappointed if WXL had managed to do so. However, maybe he would be the only person who could find her because of the Lovers' bug. I wonder what would he do in tha case

@Liddi,

Jing was smart. He already afraid of if WXL left, he could not find her. Because he knew XY was a girl but she could transform to a man without any trace despite very low spiritual power. 

Then, when WXL came to ask Jing for help to escape from CX, he also noticed that WXL didn't know her own face. The puppet for her could not reproduce the face since she didn't know her own true face.

In Gaoxin, he also guessed correctly that the Flower face former was used on her to hide her real facial figures.

 H19279:

In my opinion, although XY knew FFB and XL are one person (FFB is XL without armor, XL is FFB at the frontline). She still had certain distinction between 2 identities.

FFB is the one who she can have hope for long-term accompany. Her attitude is more relaxed when talking, hanging with FFB. She and FFB are more balanced in their relationship.
In the relationship with XL, he was at higher position, and she awared clearly that XL was on the other side.

Who did she love more deeply? XL or FFB. It's XL. She refused to think of long term accompany with XL because it's impossible. Thus she resisted to answer the last question.

So that was it! I feel awkward to say this but I couldn't understand until now how XY's silence was that eloquent and enough for XL to understand without ambiguity which was her answer between FFB or XL or both. 

That being said, I think that XY seems more casual with FFB from the moment she realizes he is XL:

Chapter 19

When she was with Fang Feng Bei, Xiao Yao often forgot her identity and she would feel like she was still Wen Xiao Liu except wearing girl clothes.

Xiao Yao knew Fang Feng Bei was Xiang Liu, but because this wasn’t the battlefield and he wasn’t being a cold and ruthless battle god, it was like he took off his armor and resumed living the ordinary life as well. He was a spare son who didn’t have any ambition or influence, she was an ordinary goddess girl with very low power. No one ever paid them any attention.

[...]

After he paid and they left the store, Fang Feng Bei very sternly said to Xiao Yao “Paying is a man’s job, you stop getting involved!”

Seeing his expression, Xiao Yao didn’t dare giggle so she put on her best serious face and nodded. That night in Zhi Jin Court, the sound of Xiao Yao’s laughter would ring out every so often as she laid on her pallet rolling around laughing so hard until her stomach hurt.

It's like she became again Wen Xiao Liu but accompanying a mix of FFB and XL: "Fang Feng Liu" (as seen on Twitter). XL now seems less unworldy, more close to her, less likely to make her feel like he could no longer be part of her world and vanish from her life, leaving her alone:

Chapter 25

Xiao Yao was rooted in place and watched him come closer to her through the dense thrum of bustling ordinary life. Even knowing it was hopeless, she still fervently wished that this ordinary world could keep him in it.

Something that seems to mean a lot to her and that she already tried to make happen before, once with XL and also with TSJ:

Chapter 2

Lao Mu didn’t feel right to receive his gift and kept wiping his hands on his robe, afraid that even his sweat would dirty his body. Xiao Liu smirked and walked forward, tossing the drumstick on the ground and used his two oily hands to take the gift from Xiang Liu and even dared to rub his palm on his hand a few times. Xiang Liu’s smile never wavered and merely shot a glance at Chuan Zi standing behind Xiao Liu and immediately Xiao Liu wised up.

Chapter 4

Xiao Liu sighed. Actually Shi Qi was another type of lofty personage. Ah Nian’s type made Xiao Liu want to jerk her down and whip her. Shi Qi’s type made Xiao Liu want to rub his dirt all over Shi Qi so that he got some dirt on himself, so that he wouldn’t disappear into the wind and become like the cloud.

 HeadInTheClouds:

XY made a clear distinction between Jing and 17. She agreed to marry 17, but not Jing. This suggests that it's not the person of Jing/17 that she wants to marry, but what each one of them can give her. 17 can put her first, and never abandon her, but Jing cannot. Now look at the final, and key question:

XL: Who do you most want to journey together through this life with?

XY refused to answer this question. The answer to this question can't be Feng Long or Can Xuan for obvious reasons. It cannot be Jing because it doesn't make sense given her answer to the previous question. And it's not 17, otherwise she would have said it. The only choices left are FFB or XL. If XY makes the same distinction between FFB and XL as she does with Jing and 17 (based on what each identity could give her), the answer here should be FFB. And yet, she couldn't/wouldn't answer. Why? Because she wants the person of XL/FFB and not simply based on what each identity can give her. She knows that it's not possible, so once again refuses to face what's in her heart.

I felt like context was important here. XY had confirmed that XL received her ice crystal ball and ignored it (basically rejecting her). Then he "killed" FFB and was very cold to her for a month in QS town, emphasizing promises and transactions. And the person asking the question (the person she had to face while answering) is XL. 

When XL asked his last question in chapter 32, I felt like XY's heart was probably saying that the person she most wanted to spend her life with was FFB (the version of XL that was not burdened by ties of affection and loyalty to the remnant army, the version of XL that wasn't her family's enemy), 

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Chapter 17:

During the two years, the two of them were each other’s companion exploring every nook and cranny of Xuan Yuan Castle. He sometimes disappeared, and then would show up again, always with a whatever attitude. Xiao Yao felt like the two of them could have kept playing together like this for forever and an eternity. Because the two of them were just too similar – they didn’t care about anything, willing to try everything, interested in all, and whatever could make them smile.

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Chapter 18:

Xiao Yao thought back and realized that Fang Feng Bei appeared different than Xiang Liu only on the surface, but the way he didn’t give a damn about anything and didn’t want for anything was the same attitude. The only difference was Xiang Liu appeared to be him when wearing battle armor and heading to war on the battlefield, while Fang Feng Bei was him who shed the armor and was enjoying exploring the world.

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Chapter 19:

Xiao Yao couldn’t help it and sighed loudly and murmured, “If only you can forever be Fang Feng Bei, that would be so great.”

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Chapter 23:

Xiao Yao walked and talked. “I was thinking that when you escaped the slave death match arena, wouldn’t it have been great if I was the one who saved you? If that was the case, then I would let you only be Fang Feng Bei! I really hate that I wasn’t born a few hundred years earlier. I would definitely find you in the slave death match arena…….”

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Chapter 26:

Xiao Yao sat on Furball and stared at Xiang Liu, feeling like it was another lifetime ago. She asked, “Aren’t you going to transform your hair color back?”

Xiang Liu said, “This is dyed and not transformation.”

...

Xiao Yao realized they spent a day and a night under the sea. 

...

Xiao Yao didn’t move and continued to stare at the ocean. If it was possible, she really wanted to live like this for the rest of her life.

“Xiao Yao?” Xiang Liu stood before Xiao Yao. She raised her head to stare at him and smiled “Don’t you feel like today was a day we stole to spend together? That there is only now and no tomorrow!”

Xiang Liu was taken aback and said nothing.

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Chapter 27:

In her dream, she saw Jing with his son, but she couldn’t see his son’s face, only that he curled in his dad’s arms and called him sweetly “Daddy” while Jing smiled back.

Xiao Yao ran away as fast as she could and in a second she ran from Qing Qiu to Qing Shui Town. Xiao Yao jumped in the river and swam towards the vast blue ocean. She could see endless horizons and the joy of swimming freely, but she was so, so tired! Where could she go in this entire world? Fang Feng Bei appeared on the surface and he sat on an all white clam shell smiling at her with his black hair flying in the breeze. Xiao Yao swam towards him but in a second his hair turned all white and he became Xiang Liu coldly staring at her. White clam shell, all white Xiang Liu, it was like an ice mountain floating on the ocean surface.

The black-hair-him, the white-hair-him, closer and further away……Xiao Yao suddenly turned and swam towards land, as she swam her tears tumbled down like rain……

Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her. She touched her face and discovered that she was drenched in tears.

-----

Even though her heart wanted to say "FFB", XY's mind knew that FFB was "dead" and that "FFB" really couldn't be separated from XL because of XL's choices. XL had rejected her (he chose Gong Gong and the remnant army - and she asks him why he made that choice in chapter 35) and spent the last month in QS town being very cold to her. So her mind wouldn't accept her heart's answer (FFB). 

Plus, how could she bring herself to say "FFB" or "XL" to XL's face at that moment, after he rejected her request for him to choose her (the ice crystal ball)? 

 HeadInTheClouds:

Here’s another observation for you liddi. In that same scene, Xiang Liu carved spells into his and Xiao Yao’s wrists to remove the bugs, the cuts are described as “so deep that white bones can be seen” – essentially, the bugs have planted bone-deep. You’re probably familiar with the expression, “carved into the bones and written onto the heart” to describe a love that is deep and unforgettable. I feel like the combination of the thousands of fireflies and cutting into their bones is the imagery of this saying. This saying is typically used to describe romantic love, not platonic love, so I see it as another indicator that the Lovers Bugs is true to its name (no matter what XY claimed to Jing).

@AH. We talked earlier about how cultural context/knowledge may have influenced our interpretation of the work. This is probably a good example of that. It wasn't explicitly stated, but the imagery instantly pointed me to a particular interpretation without me even consciously aware of it in the moment.

It's possible that I'm over-interpreting things. I blame it on this thread, it's turning me crazy, I'm seeing things that may not even be there :-)

I am familiar with this expression. I also remember seeing it used in XL's song.

GrowingBeautifully (GB) posted a translation of the lyrics here: https://bitchesoverdramas.com/2023/08/06/lost-you-forever-eps-31-to-36-open-thread/.

Seaside moonlight shines on my clothes
You laugh, eyes like stars
Lost you forever
Having got the love poisonous bug
Carved in my bones and heart
Waiting for snow
Waiting for destiny’s favour
Waiting for you a lifetime
Yearning surpasses time
Waiting brings no bloom
You never show up
In every corner of this earthly realm
It’s longing. It’s self-pity
The tones of tenderness
It’s muteness. It’s imprisonment
Scenes unfurl within myself
It’s the way back. It’s the way home
Life is like dancing in the snow
It’s loneliness
In every corner of this earthly realm
It’s longing. It’s self-pity
The tones of tenderness
It’s muteness. It’s imprisonment
Scenes unfurl within myself
It’s the way back. It’s the way home
Life is like dancing in the snow
It’s the end.

Edit: I couldn't remember if Koala's translation used that description ("so deep that white bones can be seen"). I checked and it didn't, so thank you for letting me know about that extra detail HeadInTheClouds! ^^

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Chapter 48:

Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao’s hand and used his finger as a knife to slice into the flesh of her palm and his palm back and forth until he drew a blood spell. “I cannot remove the bug, but I can kill the bug!”

...

After all the blue dots were gone, Xiang Liu’s face was stark white and he pressed down with one hand on his chest wound, and the other grabbed medicine but he didn’t apply it to himself and instead applied it on Xiao Yao’s hand. The cuts on her hand quickly healed until there was no sign it was ever injured.