Sending healing vibes to your daughter....I haven't been able to get my daughter to read or watch LYF, but from the snips I've shown her, she is not a big fan of XY, and she thinks XL wasted his time falling in love with her. My sassy teenager doesn't like girls like XY...she says XY is a pick-me girl. Haha.plor20:
Thank you very much. Xiao Yao does not rank very highly on my girl's list either, but more than that, her rants are predominantly about her frustrations with Xiang Liu, and his dogged determination to sacrifice everything for her and everyone he cared for, leaving nothing for himself, and her pain is such that she loves him exactly because of who he is. She is also of the opinion that he should not have bothered forcibly waking her up at the end of the 37 years in time for her to save Jing, which I concur too. It would have made for a much shorter novel and drama, but at least we are not left inconsolable at the end of it.
Tong Hua seems like a hopeless romantic. Haha. I love it. I can see how something like this can manifest and solidify her contentment in writing XL's ending the way she did. Had I witnessed such a rate occasion after killing off my favorite character, I'd still feel like it was meant to be, a beautiful bittersweet meeting and parting.
That's a very good, poignant point which never occurred to me - thank you for sharing it. But hopeless romantic or not, I still wish her concept of "not a tragedy" was not so diametrically opposed to mine!
I think Kokuto , H19279 and I are some of the very few XL stans who believed he wasn't on a martyr mission (correct me if I am wrong) and that he approached and cared for XY on the small chance that he will be able to share a life with her, even if it was a short one among an ongoing war.
Add me to this list as well. There are many XL fans elsewhere who would disagree that he didn't plan or want to have a relationship with XY. Long-term or temporary (a few hundred years) is up to interpretation, but he was willing to offer what he could, it's up to XY to accept or reject. And we know the answer to that one :-).
Even if XL is fighting a losing war, he lives his life a "quarter mile at a time," meaning if he wins to live another day, he will live it up. If he is to die, he will die fighting on the battlefield. He was just hoping that the time in between those two events, he would be able share it with XY.
Agree! He's a soldier. A general. Death is part and parcel of his life, but the idea that he was planning to die never sits right with me. Is every soldier who gets deployed into active combat planning to die? They know that death is a possibility, but they fight with the hope of living to see another day. If we go with this idea that soldiers are planning to die then none of them should fall in love or get married. The life of a soldier's spouse is not easy - dealing with the spectre of death hanging over your head is not for everyone. XL fell in love with the wrong person. Given his position, he needed someone stronger and more willing to brave and risk it with him. XY with her particular history and limitations was obviously not cut out or willing to do it.
I also stand by my statement that FFB is in fact worthy of any girls dreams despite his reputation, because XY was not particular bothered by FFB reputation.
Was she not bothered by his reputation or was she aware that the more outrageous aspects of it were embellished? The way that I see it, XL used the playboy persona to minimize the scrutiny and conflict with his "siblings"; it's also a great smokescreen for him to gather intel and conduct business for Shen Nong Army. FFB is XL, but the playboy persona was a persona. For someone who is untouched by the "red dust of the mortal world" and has a heart that is clear as crystal, I find it hard to believe that he was a promiscuous libertine.
As FFB, XL showed XY another side to himself when he isn't wearing his Military Advisor armour - an attentive, indulgent and doting "boyfriend". If it was all part of a transaction then frankly, he didn't have to go to such an extent. How many men would spend hours smelling perfumes and giving feedback? If you know of one (who's single and eligible), send him my way :-). He didn't have to give her the best bits of the meat or the part of the bread that he knew she liked the most. Much like the 37 years under the sea. If it was purely transactional, he could have just dumped her there, visited once a month to heal her and left - there's no need for all the trips and conversations. As XL or FFB, I'd imagined that he's busy with many things that he needs to do - taking time out to spend with XY was because she was important to him. Did XY not see that or did she pretend not to see or understand?
windiaaa041293:
@liddi
Seeing Chi Chen standing on top of the roc all dressed in red, a vision of magnificence, as glorious as the glow of sunrise, as fast as lightning, Xiao Yo could not help but shout out to her mother in admiration, "Yao Yao also wants to ride on a big bird."
and after growing up, xiaoyao was finally able to ride a big bird.
Yes, multiple times, with the man for whom her heart would break, just as her mother's heart did for Chi Chen.
Oooh thank you for mentioning that! Pointing to his head (in Koala's translation) made me think that he definitely remembered all his comrades and probably cared about them a fair bit, but pointing to his heart makes me feel like he definitely remembered them and definitely cared about them in a major way. Way more poignant that way!AH :
Also interesting to see the implication that once someone he cares about is in his heart, they remain there forever, even hundreds of years after death.
Absolutely. He cared deeply for each and every one of his fellow soldiers, be it those who died hundreds of years ago, or those he was still trying to keep alive as long as possible. It was not just the memories that haunted him, but the ties and camaraderie that bound them. To live with the memories of so many comrades whom he kept in his heart, especially with the long natural lifespan of his kind, was another form of suffering in itself.
The leaked script added this line, which reinforces the poignancy:
It's been hundreds of years, their bodies have also been cremated, (self-mockery) but the memories of nine heads are too clear, I can still remember their voices and laughing faces...
on the night XY was supposed to marry him, but instead, married the moon.solarlunareclipse:
She said her vows to the moon, which stood in for TSJ in his absence. But she wasn't marrying the moon, she was marrying TSJ. Which is why she refers to TSJ as her husband and to herself as TSJ's wife after that ceremony (even before she marries him properly in chapter 50).
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Chapter 46:
Xiao Yao stood up and looked down at Xiang Liu. “General Xiang Liu, if you want to use me to cause internal strife then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”
Xiang Liu smiled. “No matter my purpose, all I said was the truth.”
“I won’t forgive anyone who harmed Jing, but I also won’t do as you wish. Like you said, you never took any advantage of Jing, and now you won’t do the same to his wife!”
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Chapter 47:
Within one night the Yellow Emperor aged another round. He silently stared at Xiao Yao and didn’t know how to talk to her. He had endless plots and vast commanding power, but he didn’t know right now how to comfort Xiao Yao. He finally said, “Zhuan Xu already committed a grave mistake, but if you kill him now it won’t bring Jing back.”
Xiao Yao painfully asked, “You both are my closest dearest family, but one killed my husband and the other helped conceal it! What did I do wrong to deserve this?”
While it may seem like XY is looking for and missing Jing on the surface, it's clear that deep down, the person she's actually searching for and yearning for is XL.
While I do think XY still had feelings for XL in chapter 43 (which, at the very least, is supported by the fact that the Lovers' Bugs were still connecting the two of them without any issues in that chapter), I did not get the impression that XY walked into that trap because she was searching and yearning for XL.
Just before she received the message, she made wedding vows to TSJ under the moon while wearing her wedding dress that was prepared for her wedding to TSJ on the day that was scheduled for that wedding. Afterwards, she considers TSJ to be her husband, and considers herself to be TSJ's wife.
That evening, XY wonders how much time it will take for her to get over the heartbreak of losing TSJ, and then she receives a message in TSJ's voice telling her to go to the ocean without telling anyone, which she does. When she gets to the ocean, she prays that TSJ is safe. When the seagull demon reveals that TSJ is not alive, XY doesn't feel angry about being lied to or worried about her imminent death, but does feel a deep sense of sadness that her hopes of reuniting with TSJ have been dashed.
What exactly was she hoping for? Given XY's skepticism regarding the authenticity of Jing's message, her motive likely wasn't to save him. Her subsequent efforts to escape the trap indicate that she also wasn't too serious about dying in order to be with Jing.
Miao Pu was the one who was skeptical, not XY. XY thought that even though it might be a trap, she still had to go and check it out.
After the seagull demon revealed that TSJ was dead, XY was willing to let the seagull demon murder her. She only changed her mind and tried to get out of the coffin after she thought of Miao Pu and the fact that CX might kill Miao Pu if XY died or disappeared on Miao Pu's watch.
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Chapter 42:
Xiao Yao asked, “Has the auspicious hour passed?”
The Yellow Emperor said, “Xiao Yao, Jing won’t be coming back. Your life is still long so forget him!”
Xiao Yao said, “Grandfather, I’m tired and I want rest. You go rest too!”
The Yellow Emperor was worried but Xiao Yao said “I’m fine. I just…..need time.”
The Yellow Emperor stared silently before standing up and slowly shuffling out of the room.
Xiao Yao walked to the window to look up at the full moon. Jing picked a full moon night for their wedding likely so they had a round happy ending. But today the round moon didn’t shine on a happy ending pair.
Xiao Yao told the Yellow Emperor she just needed time, but how much time did she need? How long would it take before her heart didn’t hurt anymore?
Xiao Yao asked, “Miao Pu, how long do you think before I’m not heartbroken?”
Miao Pu answered, “Like a severe injury, it will hurt a lot initially, and slowly the wound will scab and scar, and slowly it won’t hurt as much.”
Xiao Yao looked down, she had been injured before and knew how long it took to stop hurting. To stop hurting she had to forget! But time was like sand, it would cover up everything in the heart.
But——
Jing, I don’t want to!
If the price to pay to not hurt is to forget you, then I would rather be in pain always so that you can live in my heart, until my life reaches its conclusion.
I’ve already put on my wedding dress and said my vows to the moon. From tonight forward, I am your wife!
-----
Chapter 43:
Xiao Yao bowed three times to the moon and was standing up when a little white bird landed on the window sill. It didn’t have a little bird’s noisy affects and was instead silent and staring at Xiao Yao.
Xiao Yao put out her hand and the bird landed on her palm and spit out a small crystal ball. Xiao Yao picked up the ball and saw it wasn’t a real crystal but the fish egg of an echo fish demon. An echo fish had no intelligence but had the strange ability to remember word for word what was said. So people used its fish eggs to forge message jewels for use in transmitting voice mail.
Xiao Yao placed the fish egg to her ear and used her fingers to burst it. Her body shook as the voice said, “Xiao Yao, come to the East Sea immediately, don’t tell anyone.” It was Jing’s voice.
Xiao Yao instinctively asked, “Jing, say that again.” But a message jewel could only be used once and could not repeat.
The white bird flew away and Xiao snapped alert and grabbed Miao Pu. “I have to go to the East Sea immediately! Don’t tell anyone!”
Miao Pu’s freaked out. “No! No!”
“Miao Pu, are you going to help me or not?”
Miao Pu stuttered, “But…..but……His Majesty ordered Xiao Xiao to guard outside. I can’t beat her in a fight…..” Miao Pu suddenly shut up and looked at the door.
Xiao Xiao appeared and was holding the white bird from earlier and it was already dead. She bowed to Xiao Yao, “Miss, what did this white bird give you just now?”
Xiao Yao replied, “Why do I need to tell you?”
Xiao Xiao stared at Miao Pu who said in a low voice, “A message jewel.”
Xiao Xiao asked, “What did it say?”
Miao Pu said, “I didn’t hear.”
Xiao Xiao bowed again to Xiao Yao, “Will Miss please tell me what the message jewel said.”
Xiao Yao cocked her head and thought “If you don’t ask clearly then you can’t report back to Zhuan Xu. Fine, I won’t make it difficult for you!” Xiao Yao walked up to Xiao Xiao and put her hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper. “Xiao Xiao, you’re a good girl but too inflexible at times. I’m going to the East Sea and won’t bring you because you clearly won’t let me go.”
Xiao Xiao saw black and her body went slack, tumbling backwards as Miao Pu rushed over to catch her while staring in shock at Xiao Yao.
“Help me!” Xiao Yao had Miao Pu put Xiao Xiao on the bed and covered her with a blanket before putting down the bed veil. At a glance it appeared Xiao Yao was sleeping inside.
Xiao Yao quickly changed and said to the stunned Miao Pu, “What are you standing there for? Let’s go!”
Zhuan Xu didn’t just assign Xiao Xiao to protect Xiao Yao, but only Xiao Xiao and Miao Pu protect her at close range, the other four guards were men and stayed at a distance. They were guarding against outside intruders and never thought that Xiao Yao would take out Xiao Xiao so they didn’t even realize Xiao Yao had knocked Xiao Xiao out.
Xiao Yao pressed the opening and a door to a secret passage opened. She went inside with Miao Pu and started walking. Back when Zhuan Xu was renovating the Sheng Nong Palaces, Xiao Yao also studied all the design maps and saw that all the palace residences had secret passageways, some just had more than others.
Miao Pu’s expression was desolate and glum, muttering as she walked, “His Majesty is going to kill me!”
Xiao Yao said, “Then he’ll have to kill me first!”
Xiao Yao’s words didn’t reassure her as Miao Pu continued to look like she was going to cry.
The end of the secret passageway led to the stables and Xiao Yao said, “Not sure which former owner of the residence liked to sneak out and play but this is totally helping us tonight.”
Miao Pu picked two of the strongest winged horses and readied the cloud carriage. Xiao Yao huddled in the cloud carriage and handed a jade badge to Miao Pu, “This is Grandfather’s badge, allowing unfettered travel in and out of Sheng Nong Mountain.”
Miao Pu took a deep breath and said to herself, “If I’m going to die then just go for it!” Miao Pu drove the cloud carriage into the air and handed the badge to the guards at the East Sky Gate and was immediately let through.
After they left Sheng Nong Mountain, Xiao Yao stuck her head out the cloud carriage “Thank you!”
Miao Pu grumbled, “My Lady, why did you have to go to the East Sea in the middle of the night? Can’t Xiao Xiao have informed His Majesty, he dotes on you and lets you do whatever. If you wanted to go he would have allowed it. Why sneak around?”
“I heard Jing tell me to immediately go to the East Sea and tell no one.”
Miao Pu gasped. “What? The voice inside the message jewel was the Tu Shan Clan Leader? What did he say?”
“To go to the East Sea, and to tell no one.”
Miao Pu thought about it. “If he can say those words why can’t he explain more? It’s easy to find someone to impersonate his voice, but those closest to him will see through it if a lot is said. The less is said the more the ruse will work. I think this sounds fishy, my lady let’s go back!”
“Perhaps you are right but it could have been an urgent situation and he could only say such curt phrases. Miao Pu, do you know, even if there is a miniscule chance or even a trap, I have to immediately go.”
Miao Pu sighed and urged the horses faster. Even if this was a trap, the person setting it was ruthless and found the one way to get Xiao Yao to follow instructions. Miao Pu silently prayed for the miniscule chance to come true.
The two strong winged horses flew nonstop and Xiao Yao fed them Jade Mountain stew to keep up their strength. They landed on an island in the East Sea around noon the next day. The two winged horses were spitting foam from exhaustion and could not be used to search over the sea lest they fall into the water from passing out.
Xiao Yao pointed to the East where a ship was sailing towards them, and on the mast cover was a beautiful nine-tailed fox.
Xiao Yao said, “I’ll go see over there, you hide here waiting for me.” Miao Pu immediately said, “No! I’m going with you!”
“Then who will watch the winged horses? If they run away and we need to escape, are we going to run on our two feet?”
Miao Pu had no answer until she said, “Xiao Xiao will definitely find us, their powers are strong and at most will be here in two or three hours. Wait until then.”
“We can wait but Jing might not be able to wait.” Xiao Yao picked up her amethyst fish ruby on the necklace and said, “I’ll swim over there underwater and look around. If there is any danger I’ll hide deep underwater. They won’t be able to do anything to me there. If you come with me then you’ll be a liability. Plus if you wait here, you can be my backup and I can go forward or retreat. If anything happens, you can also tell Xiao Xiao and find the Xuan Yuan forces stationed nearby to come rescue us.”
Miao Pu had to admit Xiao Yao made sense but she was still upset. “Then you quickly come back, just go take a look and no matter what we need to discuss before taking any action.”
“Okay!” Xiao Yao hid behind a rock and slowly disappeared into the water.
Xiao Yao didn’t need the fish ruby to breathe underwater but she didn’t want others to know of her body’s new ability and she kept the fish ruby on her because it was a gift from Jing. Right now Xiao Yao felt this ache in her heart as she sank into the water and prayed: heavens, you can do anything cruel to me but please let Jing be alive even if he’s gravely injured or crippled.
Xiao Yao was swimming under the ship taking things in when a woman in purple laying on the edge lifted her head. “If you want to see Tu Shan Jing then get on the ship.”
Xiao Yao emerged and asked, “Why should I believe you?”
The woman tossed a scrap of cloth at Xiao Yao and on it was writing in Jing’s hand. It was the lyrics of the song she sang for him in his residence.
If beloved is wind above the water
I will be the lily in the wind
To see and to miss
To see and to miss
If beloved is the cloud in the sky
I would be the moon in the cloud
To love and to cherish
To love and to cherish
If beloved were the tree in the forest
I would be the vines on the tree
Together and connected
Together and connected
Why does the world have sadness
Why do lives have gathering and parting
Only wish with beloved
Together forever, never apart
Xiao Yao finished reading and restrained her tears before jumping on the ship.
The woman in purple handed a bowl of wine to Xiao Yao with a laugh. “I’ve heard you are well versed in medicines so I don’t dare to use poison in front of you. This is just a bowl of wine made from the red jade plant. Humans who drink it will sleep for three hundred years, at most it’ll make a god weak in the limbs and dizzy and a good sleep will shake it off. It’s not a poison or will render you unconscious, therefore it doesn’t have an antidote either. After you drink it I will take you to see Tu Shan Jing.”
Xiao Yao picked up the bowl and sniffed, it really was red jade plant wine. Drinking too much would make it addictive, but one drink wouldn’t harm the body.
The purple robed woman said, “I never force anyone, if you don’t want to drink then go back!”
Xiao Yao raised her head and gulped it down. “Where is Jing?”
“I always fulfill my promises!” The woman started moving the ship into the deeper reaches of the ocean.
The ship moved swiftly over the water and Xiao Yao could hear the wind whistling around her as her limbs weakened so she laid down on the deck and stared up at the sky.
The ship stopped in the middle of the ocean nowhere, with no land in sight in any direction. The woman walked over and picked up Xiao Yao to place her inside a crystal coffin.
Xiao Yao weakly asked, “What are you doing?”
The woman took out the scrap of song lyric and burned it, then took Xiao Yao’s amethyst fish ruby and shattered it completely, turning it into purple light.
Tears fell from Xiao Yao’s eyes “Where’s Jing?”
The purple robed woman leaned on the coffin with a smile. “Tu Shan Jing is dead! I’m fulfilling my promise now to send you to see him! This ship is taking in water now and soon will completely sink into the ocean. I’m just a hired killer and doing my job. The person who hired me gave specific instructions – no hint of blood and you have to disappear completely without a trace, not even a hair to be found. I thought all night about it and remembered this area in the ocean and how scary it is and came up with this plan.” The woman patted Xiao Yao’s face. “Can you imagine how much the person who hired me hates you, to not even let a hair of you remain on this earth? But, only this way can there be no trace left of you, otherwise the Yellow Emperor and the Black Emperor will be hard to deal with.”
Xiao Yao stared at the sky and didn’t feel any rage at being lied to, or fear at imminent death. Only the sadness of having her hopes dashed. Since childhood she had lived a hard life, her heart always drifting, feeling like she would be abandoned at any time. Only after her engagement to Jing did her heart settle down, thinking that things would finally change. Who could have foreseen that Jing would leave her? Even if it was just like her parents with a reason that couldn’t be helped. But she was still abandoned again, and she didn’t want to keep being strong anymore to face a long life ahead. If Jing slept in this ocean, then she would rather be here with him.
The purple robed woman noticed that Xiao Yao was oddly at peace, not like people she killed in the past, and felt some pity for her. She fixed Xiao Yao’s hair and cloth and sincerely complimented, “Your wedding dress is very beautiful, your hairstyle is lovely as well. You are an exquisite bride, the Tu Shan Clan Leader will be very pleased when he sees you.”
Xiao Yao broke into a beaming smile. “Thank you!”
The woman startled. “Don’t you want to know who wants to kill you?”
Xiao Yao didn’t even care to answer. What difference if she knows or not?
The woman in purple said, “I don’t even know who it is, the person paid an astronomical sum so my partner and I decided to take this job and afterwards we can retire.”
The water lapped at her feet so the woman sealed the crystal coffin tightly before looking skyward, “So annoying, I have to show my demon form again.” She transformed into a seagull and flew into the sky, her clothes burning on the deck and disappearing.
The crystal coffin slowly sank into the water.
Xiao Yao felt suffocated and couldn’t breathe, until the water seeped into the coffin and she could breathe like a fish returning to the water. Xiao Yao laughed wryly as she thought about this plan and how perfect it was, to kill her with no bloodshed and hidden in the depths of the ocean. Except the plan wasn’t perfect because no one knew that Xiao Yao couldn’t drown.
Because she drank the red jade plant wine, Xiao Yao was woozy and found it hard to think. As the coffin sank she thought she was going to die as well and was calmly facing death, except now she wasn’t going to die and felt like a free falling entity that couldn’t find an end to the fall.
Xiao Yao laid in the crystal coffin and looked at the fishes swimming around her. She tapped on the coffin and asked, “Have you guys seen Jing?”
The fishes were startled and swam off. Xiao Yao could only lay in the crystal coffin zoned out.
The sun set outside and gradually the water turned dark, as dark as ink. Many fishes glowed in the dark so the water was like a night sky filled with shooting stars. She wondered if Xiao Xiao arrived, whether Zhuan Xu was looking for her, if Miao Pu was crying. Xiao Yao suddenly remembered how angry Zhuan Xu would be, and what if he killed Miao Pu? Xiao Yao stopped laying there to enjoy the view and started to try and get out. But no matter how hard she pushed she couldn’t open the coffin.
Xiao Yao tried so hard to open the coffin but it wouldn’t budge, until she was all tired out and hungry. She suddenly realized that she might end up dying after all, not of drowning but of hunger. Xiao Yao rested for a bit before continuing to try and open the coffin.
After XY nearly got crushed by a vortex, XL arrived just in time to save her. It was strongly implied that this had been her hope all along, considering she knew the East Sea was like XL’s home.
Again, that was not my impression.
The chapter does not show XY thinking of XL once before the whirlpool reminds her of him.
Even when she "thought she was going to die" she didn't worry that the bug connection might cause XL to die too. She was just "calmly facing death" without thinking of him.
When XL did arrive, XY didn't act like she had been expecting him all along. She was dumbfounded and felt like this was a dream. Later on, she doesn't understand why XL cared about whether she lived or died. She definitely didn't seem to be under the impression that putting her life at risk would definitely cause XL to show up and save her.
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Chapter 43:
As the water churned faster and faster, the power of the whirlpool increased and in a resounding crack the coffin shattered. Xiao Yao screamed and closed her eyes, but then didn’t experience the pain of being smashed to smithereens.
Xiao Yao slowly opened her eyes and in the whirling inferno she saw Xiang Liu, white hair white robe, standing right in front of her. His hair was fanned out like the wings of a bird and was protecting Xiao Yao by forming a barrier between her and the whirlpool.
Xiao Yao felt like this was a dream and stared dumbfounded at Xiang Liu. He furrowed his brows, clearly he was being affected by the whirlpool. They were also being carried closer and closer to the center, and by then even Xiang Liu would be crushed.
...
Xiang Liu rose up from the ocean to stand on the waves. His white hair like the clouds, his white robe like the snow, the silver moonlight made him look even more noble and ethereal, except his expression looking down at Xiao Yao was filled with an evil smirk. “Any price I want?”
Xiao Yao stood up on the waves and raised her chin to look at Xiang Liu. “As long as it has nothing to do with Zhuan Xu, then any price is fine!” For Miao Pu, even if she had to make a real deal with the devil she would do it. At this point what else did she have left to lose?
Xiang Liu said, “The price is for you to stay alive. Even if Tu Shan Jing is really dead, you have to stay alive!”
Xiao Yao stared dumbstruck at Xiang Liu before her eyes went beyond him to stare at the limitless ocean horizon. A life that was long, a longing that had no end in sight……if she didn’t give up and stayed alive, what would that feel like? Probably like a dark night with no sunrise. Xiao Yao didn’t understand why Xiang Liu cared about her life or death.
Xiang Liu coldly said, “I just don’t have any interest in dying with you. If you want to give up, then first find the way to break the voodoo bug link.”
Right! Her life was connected to Xiang Liu. She really did need to find the solution to break the spell. Xiao Yao said, “I accept your price, so take me to find the seagull demon!”
XY implicitly understands that when XL mentions Jing, he is actually speaking about himself. Thus, XL is asking XY to remain alive in the event of his own death.
This is another moment where I had a very different impression. Is there something in the original text that Koala didn't capture in her translation that led to this interpretation?
After XY wonders why XL cares about whether she lives or dies, XL explains by saying that he doesn't want to die with her because of the bug connection, which IMO is a complete lie (he wants her to live even after he dies, which is why he breaks the bug connection before the final battle) but that explanation makes sense to XY. So it seems illogical to assume that XY would have interpreted his requirement (you need to live even if TSJ is dead) to actually be about XY needing to live even if XL were to die, since she accepted XL's explanation that the reason he asked her to live is so that he can also live.
On top of that, XL rejected XY in chapter 22 (sending her to TSJ without meeting her when she woke up), chapter 31 (not responding to her ice crystal ball message or going to see her), and chapter 32 (the way he treated her during and after the wedding interruption). So why would the notion of XY giving up and wanting to die because of XL (rather than because of TSJ) only come up in chapter 43, right after TSJ's disappearance / death? That just doesn't seem logical. In addition to several other factors, the timing is too off.
Aside from any feelings she might have had for TSJ, XY wanted to marry TSJ for stability and the sense of safety she got from being with someone who wasn't capable of leaving her. She longed for that, thought she had it, and then lost it. XL probably could have filled that void if he was willing to drop everything and put her first, but he wasn't willing to do that. At this point XY even seemed to have convinced herself that he just didn't care about her, to the point where she was confused as to why he cared if she lived or died.
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Chapter 43:
Xiao Yao stared at the sky and didn’t feel any rage at being lied to, or fear at imminent death. Only the sadness of having her hopes dashed. Since childhood she had lived a hard life, her heart always drifting, feeling like she would be abandoned at any time. Only after her engagement to Jing did her heart settle down, thinking that things would finally change. Who could have foreseen that Jing would leave her? Even if it was just like her parents with a reason that couldn’t be helped. But she was still abandoned again, and she didn’t want to keep being strong anymore to face a long life ahead. If Jing slept in this ocean, then she would rather be here with him.
...
Xiang Liu stared in disgust at Xiao Yao. “Someone wanted to kill you, so you let yourself get imprisoned?”
Xiao Yao stared at the fire and said nothing.
Xiang Liu pressed on. “Why didn’t you fight back?”
Xiao Yao said in a low voice, “Jing……disappeared.” She suddenly remembered and anxiously asked, “The East Sea is like your home. You….you….have you seen Jing?”
Xiang Liu mockingly said, “Do you think I spend my time hanging in the ocean just waiting to rescue people?”
“No….I just thought….Qing Shui Town is also your territory of sorts, perhaps you noticed Tu Shan Hou’s activities. The East Sea may be big but you’re a sea demon….so maybe…..”
Xiang Liu coldly replied, “There aren’t that many maybes!”
Xiao Yao lowered her head and her tears came down silently.
Xiang Liu turned around to stare at the ocean expanse, with his back to Xiao Yao, but even then he clearly heard her tears falling. One drop after another, so soft and bunched together, the sound entered his ears like a sharp thorn prick, each drop a stab to his heart.
Xiang Liu said, “If you have time to cry, use it to think about who tried to kill you.”
Xiao Yao suddenly remembered Miao Pu and used her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “I have to go back, otherwise Zhuan Xu will kill Miao Pu for sure!”
“Even if the Black Emperor wanted to kill Miao Pu, he’d have to find her first.”
Xiao Yao remembered the seagull demon mentioning a partner. Miao Pu never came to rescue her which meant she likely encountered the other killer. Xiao Yao’s face fell. “Miao Pu…..is Miao Pu dead?”
“I don’t know! When I rushed over all I saw were two winged horse corpses in the water. She likely was attacked but I didn’t see her body.” Xiao Yao sighed in relief until Xiang Liu added, “She could have sunk into the ocean.”
Xiang Liu always had a way of making her grateful to him in one second, and the other want to choke him to death. Xiao Yao was anxious and upset but there was nothing she could do to Xiang Liu for being mean. “I need to find Miao Pu, you take me back to that island.”
Xiang Liu said, “I happen to have free time, I can accompany you to go look for Miao Pu.”
“When did you become so nice?”
“Of course there is a price.”
“I only have one head, so I can't outthink your nine heads. I don’t think this deal is going to be good.”
Xiang Liu vaulted into the ocean without a care about Xiao Yao’s reverse psychology negotiating tactics. Xiao Yao anxiously jumped into the ocean after him and grabbed a lock of his flowing white hair.
Xiang Liu turned around and glared at her, so Xiao Yao let go with a smile. “You help me find the seagull demon and I agree to your price.” The seagull demon chose to let the whirlpool swallow her up forever, clearly she knew this ocean expanse very well. Only with Xiang Liu’s help could Xiao Yao hope to find her quickly.
Xiang Liu rose up from the ocean to stand on the waves. His white hair like the clouds, his white robe like the snow, the silver moonlight made him look even more noble and ethereal, except his expression looking down at Xiao Yao was filled with an evil smirk. “Any price I want?”
Xiao Yao stood up on the waves and raised her chin to look at Xiang Liu. “As long as it has nothing to do with Zhuan Xu, then any price is fine!” For Miao Pu, even if she had to make a real deal with the devil she would do it. At this point what else did she have left to lose?
Xiang Liu said, “The price is for you to stay alive. Even if Tu Shan Jing is really dead, you have to stay alive!”
Xiao Yao stared dumbstruck at Xiang Liu before her eyes went beyond him to stare at the limitless ocean horizon. A life that was long, a longing that had no end in sight……if she didn’t give up and stayed alive, what would that feel like? Probably like a dark night with no sunrise. Xiao Yao didn’t understand why Xiang Liu cared about her life or death.
Xiang Liu coldly said, “I just don’t have any interest in dying with you. If you want to give up, then first find the way to break the voodoo bug link.”
Right! Her life was connected to Xiang Liu. She really did need to find the solution to break the spell. Xiao Yao said, “I accept your price, so take me to find the seagull demon!”
At this point, the following conversation takes place. During this conversation, XL personifies the traits of being 嘴硬心软 (Zuǐyìng xīnruǎn), hard-spoken but soft-hearted. He employs harsh words to push XY away, preparing her for a life without him. My aim is to provide my interpretation of the true intentions underlying XL and XY's dialogue.
Xiang Liu stared at the birds and slowly said “The Wen Xiao Liu I knew a long time ago had many deficiencies, but the one deficiency not there was to roll over and accept a beating like an idiot. Has Tu Shan Jing taken such good care of you all these years that you’ve forgotten how to stay alive now that he’s dead?”
I won’t be able to protect you for much longer. Find your will to live and fight to stay alive!
I mostly agree with this being XL's true intention here, but I'm not sure the first part is necessary. Even when XL was still alive and around to provide some protection, he wanted her to fight for herself and not let others hurt her. IMO, "If someone tries to murder you, don't accept it (like an idiot). Fight to live!" was the main gist of his intention here.
Xiao Yao couldn’t handle anyone talking about Jing being dead so she glared at Xiang Liu.
Jing serves as a proxy for XL, thus "Jing being dead" represents XL's demise and his departure from XY's life. XY is unwilling to confront the idea of XL abandoning her.
IMO, there isn't a double meaning here. She's glaring at XL because he mentioned TSJ being dead and she can't handle it. When she mentioned TSJ earlier before they set out to look for the seagull demon she could only bring herself to say that he had disappeared, and not that he was dead.
Xiang Liu sneered right back and said in a sarcastic way “Did I say anything wrong? You may not be in the wilderness or the mountains but you’re in a place even more dangerous, Sheng Nong Mountain. The most dangerous beast at most eats you. But in Sheng Nong Mountain, your death affects so much more, do you know how many people will die if you died? Chi Sui Feng Long smashed the tradition of the Four Great Clans and now the Tu Shan clan leader was suddenly killed, leaving behind a child successor. If you died, then the Tu Shan Clan may be picked apart and taken over by the three other clans. In the face of power and wealth, people are even brave enough to try to kill an Emperor, what’s stopping them from trying to kill you? I really regret getting my life connected with a stupid woman as you! I beg of you, before you die from idiocy can you find a way to break our bug link first!”
You are in a dangerous situation, targeted by individuals for selfish reasons. But remember, your death will have enormous consequences for those who care for or rely on you. Meanwhile, my situation is worsening, and my days are numbered. We must to find a way to break the bug link so you won’t die when I inevitably do.
I had a different interpretation.
I read this as XL trying very hard to convince XY to fight / protect her own life without revealing his feelings for her, so he hides behind the bug connection (as usual).
But by this point (chapter 43), he definitely already knew how to break the bug connection between them. His implication that he didn't know how is him intentionally misleading XY.
Even before XL accepted the bug transfer, he knew that the bugs were Lovers' Bugs, that they were rare, what criteria needed to be met in order for the bugs to transfer successfully, and that he met those criteria. He likely already knew at that point that he could break the bug connection by killing the bugs (as he ended up doing in chapter 48). But even if you believe that he didn't have that information at that point, he definitely had it by chapter 38, long before chapter 43 rolled around.
In chapter 48, XL says that he didn't lie to XY when he said he didn't know how to break the bug connection, she just didn't ask the right question. So she shouldn't blame him for not telling her that he could break the connection by killing the bugs - not because he didn't know how to do so when she asked her question, but because she didn't ask the right question.
XY asked XL to go with her to Jiu Li to ask the Voodoo King to help break the bug connection in chapter 29 and sent a letter repeating the request in chapter 30. Then in chapter 38 both TSJ and XY each asked XL to help them remove the bug, and at that point XL said that he did't know how to break the voodoo bug spell. At that point XY did not think to ask if XL was able to break the bug connection by killing the bugs. So, according to XL in chapter 48, she shouldn't blame him for not telling her at that point that he was able to break the bug connection by killing the bugs.
It's understandable that XY did not think to ask this question, especially since XL (with his extra lives to spare) was quite possibly the only person in the world who could break the bug connection using the method he ended up using, without needing to know how to break the bug connection spell.
-----
Chapter 48:
Xiang Liu sat down next to the raft and stared at the sleeping Xiao Yao before softly saying, “The tree grows old on land together, the mandarin ducks die together in the water – the Lover’s Bug connects heart to heart and our lives, and there truly is no way to remove the bug. Years ago I was only able to remove the bug from Zhuan Xu because he didn’t know it was you so he didn’t willingly accept the bug. So you never successfully planted the bug on him in the first place. But I….I was heart and soul willing, so the bug successfully planted in me. You asked me to remove the bug and I kept telling you I can’t do it, but you didn’t believe me. But I truly didn’t lie to you, I cannot remove the bug.”
Xiang Liu picked up Xiao Yao’s hand and used his finger as a knife to slice into the flesh of her palm and his palm back and forth until he drew a blood spell. “I cannot remove the bug, but I can kill the bug!”
Xiang Liu smiled before joining his bloody palm to Xiao Yao’s bloody palm, so tightly that the blood flowing wasn’t clear whether it was his or hers. “Don’t blame me for not telling you this before, you were the one who did not ask!”
Xiang Liu started to chant the spell and with it countless glowing blue dots appeared and flew around both of them. The blue dots lit up the night sky until it was an ethereal beauty of lights in the air and reflected in the lake surface.
Xiang Liu’s hand suddenly grabbed a real dagger made from ice and he stabbed it directly into his own heart. Sir Bi gasped out loud and had to force himself to not do anything.
Xiang Liu pulled out the dagger and blood gushed from the wound in his chest. All the blue dots rushed into the wound in his chest until they all vanished inside.
After all the blue dots were gone, Xiang Liu’s face was stark white and he pressed down with one hand on his chest wound, and the other grabbed medicine but he didn’t apply it to himself and instead applied it on Xiao Yao’s hand. The cuts on her hand quickly healed until there was no sign it was ever injured.
Xiang Liu smiled sadly and said to Xiao Yao, “I broke the bug connection between us! From now on, you and I will have no connection with each other!”
Xiang Liu gently pushed the raft towards Sir Bi. “She will wake up tomorrow morning.”
Sir Bi understood what happened – the heart-and-life-connected Lover’s Bug was planted between Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao, which is why Xiang Liu could save Xiao Yao’s life earlier. Xiang Liu managed to now break the bug by using his own life as the lure to kill the bugs. It was a suicidal method, but a method that only Nine Lives Xiang Liu could use by taking one of his lives.
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Chapter 29:
Xiao Yao silently stared at Fang Feng Bei for a few moments before shaking her head with a smile. “I need to discuss two things with you.”
Fang Feng Bei played with his mask. “Tell me.”
“The first is making poisons for you. I can still do it now but after….I’m married I won’t be able to anymore.”
Fang Feng Bei held the mask still and smiled at Xiao Yao. “And the second?”
“I want to remove the voodoo bug linking us. The Tu Shan Madam had a doctor from the Jiu Li tribe who said that…….our bug might be the legendary Lover’s Bug. This bug is used by lovers…..and you and I…..it’s not suitable!” Xiao Yao mockingly said, “Last time you said you were annoyed by the bug so I want to know when you have free time to go to Jiu Li with me so that we can find the Voodoo King to remove the bug.”
Fang Feng Bei stared at Xiao Yao and under the dim light of the gambling hall his sliver of a smile felt cold.
Xiao Yao added, “Even if the bug is removed, I’ll still be good for my promise.”
Xiang Liu coolly said, “Fine, wait until I have time.”
-----
Chapter 30:
Xiao Yao felt her heart constricting tightly so she sat up and took deep breaths. It started with being sleepless but over time she seemed to have developed a heart problem. She knew Xiang Liu was being bothered by her right now.
All these years in the deep dark of the night, when she was at her most painful to endure moments, knowing someone was experiencing the same feeling made her feel she wasn’t alone. It made her feel like he was right there keeping her company and it comforted her a lot.
In the poison packages she sent him, she wrote in a letter apologizing for disturbing him and reminding him to go to Jiu Li with her when he had time. But Xiang Liu never replied and Xiao Yao didn’t dare mention it a second time.
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Chapter 38:
Xiao Yao stared at him before breaking into a beaming smile, the happiness lighting up her eyes.
Xiang Liu wearily asked “Miss Xi Ling, what do you want?”
“I…..I…..” Xiao Yao actually didn’t know what she wanted so she got tongue-tied. She finally said, “Help me break the voodoo bug spell and you can pick your price!”
Xiang Liu smiled, “Half an hour earlier, Tu Shan Jing said the exact same thing to me.”
“You came here to see Jing?”
“More accurate to say Tu Shan Jing asked to see me to discuss business.”
Xiao Yao understood now, Jing saw that she couldn’t break the spell so went directly to Xiang Liu to discuss terms. “Did you accept Jing’s offer?”
“His offer was tempting and I very much wanted to accept but it’s not that I’m refusing to break the voodoo spell, I really don’t know how!”
“You’re lying! Back then you broke it from Zhuan Xu and moved it over to you. How come you can’t do it now?”
Xiang Liu sighed loudly and shook his head. “You need to ask Tu Shan Jing to teach you how to conduct business. Doing business isn’t picking a fight, especially when you have something you want from the other person. You can’t just accuse the other person, what you want is for me to help you and not for me to be pissed at you.”
Xiao Yao glared at Xiang Liu. “But you’re clearly lying!”
“Do you think I would say such a lame lie? Tu Shan Jing is much smarter than you and he asked why I was able to break the spell before but not now?”
“Why?”
“The voodoo bugs are living creatures! Back then is not the same as now! You can beat a baby tiger to death but can’t you win a fight with a thousand year old tiger demon?”
Xiao Yao felt that what he was saying made sense but also this niggling sensation that he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. She slowly said, “I can’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t?”
“If you don’t believe me then why keep asking me?”
Xiao Yao was silent before asking, “Did you come to Zhi Yi just to see Jing? When are you leaving?”
“If you didn’t stop me then I would have left already.”
Xiao Yao suddenly realized that she was still holding on tightly to Xiang Liu’s arm and she quickly let go.
Kokuto:
solarlunareclipse:
I really regret getting my life connected with a stupid woman as you! I beg of you, before you die from idiocy can you find a way to break our bug link first!”
You are in a dangerous situation, targeted by individuals for selfish reasons. But remember, your death will have enormous consequences for those who care for or rely on you. Meanwhile, my situation is worsening, and my days are numbered. We must to find a way to break the bug link so you won’t die when I inevitably do.
Ah! So, he did NOT know how to break the Lovers Bug link when he accepted the bug -- as I thought.
For many reasons, including the reasons noted above, I strongly believe that XL knew how to break the bug connection by chapter 43, and that XL was intentionally misleading XY when he said that line (along with several other intentionally deceptive lines).
Xiao Yao walked to the edge of the ship and looked out at the wide expanse of the ocean, the wind whipping her red wedding dress around her like a dance, and the red sunset behind her illuminated her vivid color so much that the red dress looked like blood was dripping from it.
XY is telling XL that she stands by the blood oath they took when they accepted the Lover’s bugs. She doesn’t want to break their connection.
This seems like a stretch. Personally, I don't read that meaning into XY walking to the edge of the ship and looking out over the ocean instead of answering XL. Especially since the next thing she says is about TSJ planning their wedding.
The sun gradually set and the moon rose from the ocean surface. Xiao Yao pointed and said to Xiang Liu “Look!”
Xiang Liu stared coldly at her and didn’t move but Left Ear turned to look at the moon and said “Very round moon!”
The moon symbolizes XY and XL’s mutual feelings for each other. During their time together in Qing Shui Town and throughout their 37 years under the sea, the moon served as a focal point for numerous memorable moments in their relationship. When XY points out the moon, she is expressing her desire to hold onto their shared affection. However, XL attempts to distance himself by ignoring XY's request to look at the moon. He does so because he wants her to let go of her feelings for him in order to protect her from getting hurt in the future.
Xiao Yao burst out laughing while staring at the moon “Jing picked the full moon night to get married. I wanted to ask him why but was too embarrassed to, and figured I could ask him after the wedding since we had plenty of time. The last time I saw him was 32 days ago, he came to Xiao Yue Peak to see me and was supposed to leave before dinner but stayed until long after dinner, until the moon rose high over the mountain. We walked in the moonlight along the mountain paths, the moon was very beautiful that night. I pulled him to dance as I sang but he didn’t know how so I laughed at him for being so silly. Later he left on his winged ride and pointed to the moon and said “At the next full moon, no matter if the moon is bright or dark, if people gather or part, I will be with you forever, never apart.”
XY has always expressed her feelings for XL by using Jing as a substitute for XL. XY indirectly hints at her desire to be with XL by recounting a potentially fabricated story of a romantic moment she shared with Jing. The declaration of love by Jing at the end of the story echoes the lyrics of the song XL heard XY sing when they first met, long before she sang the same song for Jing.
Xiao Yao suddenly started singing towards the ocean.
If beloved were wind above the water
I would be the lily in the wind
To see and to miss
To see and to miss
If beloved were the cloud in the sky
I would be the moon in the cloud
To love and to cherish
To love and to cherish
If beloved were the tree in the forest
I would be the vines on the tree
Together and connected
Together and connected
Why does the world have sadness
Why do lives have gathering and parting
Only wish with beloved
Together forever, never apart
This is the song XY was singing when she and XL first met. The ocean symbolizes XL, so she is singing the song for him. The lyrics convey what she wishes to express to XL but lacks the courage to say directly.
The silver moonlight lent an air of desolation around as the waves crested glittering in soft folds. Xiao Yao pointed at the moon with a smile “If I don’t see his body then in my memory he will always be on the back of his crane smiling at me while pointing to the moon to say “At the next full moon, no matter if the moon is bright or dark, if people gather or part, I will be with you forever, never apart.” I likely am very stupid and very weak, I can’t believe that he’s dead and feel that he may come back at the next full moon.”
XY looks out over the ocean and waits for the full moon to rise. When it rises, she points it out and then starts talking about TSJ picking the full moon night to be night of their wedding. I don't interpret any of that as XY "expressing her desire to hold onto their shared affection". Especially since, at this point, XY has allowed XL to convince her that he does not have feelings for her, to the point where she is confused as to why he would care about whether she lived or died.
She goes on to quote TSJ quoting from the end of that song, and then sings that song towards the ocean (where TSJ's body is believed to be resting, as XY mentioned earlier in this chapter) and not towards XL standing off to her side.
Earlier in the chapter, that song is described in the text as the song that XY sang for TSJ in his residence. Seeing the lyrics of that song written in TSJ's handwriting convinced XY to get on the seagull demon's ship, despite the risk that it was a trap. While some readers may associate the song with XL simply because XL heard XY singing it (before she had met him, so certainly not to or about him), XY clearly associates the song with TSJ in this chapter.
After singing, she points to the moon again and talks about not believing that TSJ is dead and believing that he will come back at the next full moon. The idea that XY would use that conversation to covertly convey to XL that she was clinging to hope of being together with XL just doesn't make sense to me.
Now when Left Ear gets XY to admit that she misses FFB later in the chapter? That truly seems like a moment where XY finally exposes a bit of her hidden / suppressed feelings for XL.
-----
Chapter 43:
“If you want to see Tu Shan Jing then get on the ship.”
Xiao Yao emerged and asked, “Why should I believe you?”
The woman tossed a scrap of cloth at Xiao Yao and on it was writing in Jing’s hand. It was the lyrics of the song she sang for him in his residence.
If beloved is wind above the water
I will be the lily in the wind
To see and to miss
To see and to miss
If beloved is the cloud in the sky
I would be the moon in the cloud
To love and to cherish
To love and to cherish
If beloved were the tree in the forest
I would be the vines on the tree
Together and connected
Together and connected
Why does the world have sadness
Why do lives have gathering and parting
Only wish with beloved
Together forever, never apart
Xiao Yao finished reading and restrained her tears before jumping on the ship.
Xiao Yao whirled around and stared with bright eyes at Xiang Liu and said in a strong voice “Xiang Liu, I don’t have a way to break our bug link right now. Sheng Ning Mountain is rife with danger but Qing Shui Town isn’t any better. It’s unclear who will drag the other down. Rather than worry that I’ll be a hassle to you, why don’t you worry about yourself first!”
I’m unable to control my feelings for you. I am extremely concerned for your safety. Please take care of yourself.
I interpreted this part slightly differently.
-----
Chapter 43:
Xiao Yao whirled around and stared with bright eyes at Xiang Liu and said in a strong voice, “Xiang Liu, I don’t have a way to break our bug link right now. Sheng Nong Mountain is rife with danger but Qing Shui Town isn’t any better. It’s unclear who will drag the other down. Rather than worry that I’ll be a hassle to you, why don’t you worry about yourself first!”
Xiao Yao walked up to Xiang Liu and lifted up her arm from under her sleeve. “While I’m still here to give you blood, hurry up and get better so you don’t burden me!”
Xiang Liu didn’t even act polite and took her arm to bite down and suck.
During the rest of the trip, every dawn and dusk Xiang Liu would drink Xiao Yao’s blood, and sometimes they would say a few words to one another, other times stay silent. One would sit with her arms wrapped around her knees staring sadly at the ocean as if waiting, the other would sit cross-legged facing the ocean healing with no expression on his face. After three days, Xiang Liu finished healing and stood up.
-----
I interpret this as XY utilizing he same method that XL used to push for an outcome without revealing true feelings.
XL wanted XY to protect herself from danger, but didn't want to expose his true feelings to XY. So he told her that he wanted her to protect herself because her being in danger put him in danger for as long as the bug connection remained in place.
Now XY wants XL to use her blood to continue healing his remaining wounds from battling the whirlpool, but doesn't want to expose her feelings either (with both of them just blatantly ignoring the fact that they are connected by Lovers' Bugs). So she tells him that the bug connection is what is for now (she doesn't have a way to remove it) and while she is in danger on Sheng Nong Mountain (which poses a threat to him), he is also in danger in QS town and his danger might pose as much of a threat to her as her danger poses to him. So he should heal himself and get better so he doesn't put her life at risk by putting his own life at risk (a pretty flimsy excuse really, but he's happy to go with it).
Xiang Liu said “Tomorrow you’ll encounter the people sent by the Blank Emperor to search for Xiao Yao.” He tossed a little jewel to Xiao Yao before vaulting off the ship to land on the water surface.
“What is this?” Xiao Yao asked.
“A sea map. If you don’t have the ability to survive on Sheng Nong Mountain, then come to the ocean. This sea map is but a small portion of the ocean but with your body in no time you’ll be like a fish as familiar with the ocean.”
If in the future you feel you have no where to go, remember you can call the sea your home now. I have chosen my path and I won’t be able go with you.
Our interpretations here were not exactly the same, but pretty close.
I felt that XL gave the map to XY so she would have a physical reminder that she could always go to the ocean, even if she felt like she had nowhere else to go (and even if he was not there to remind her himself).
Although XY was already aware that XL had chosen his path and although I do agree that giving a map as a gift does convey an implication that he would not be with her when she went to the ocean to show her around, I don't quite think the act of giving her this map rose to the level of clearly saying, "I have chosen my path and I won't be able to go with you."
Xiao Yao remembered what Xiang Liu said before, there are countless islands in the vast ocean, some with nothing on it, others as beautiful as a dream.
“I don’t need this!” Xiao Yao wanted to toss the jewel back but Xiang Liu was already walking away, stepping on the emerald waves headed North until his form disappeared.
I can’t bear the thought of a future without you. Remember when I told you I wanted to explore those islands (with you)?
IMO, XY remembered her comment about wanting to go see the islands that XL described, and how he rejected her by ignoring her comment and bringing the two of them back to shore. Perhaps she felt that accepting his gift was a bit too much like acknowledging her feelings for XL, which she had been trying to suppress and avoid for a long time, or it was too much of a reminder of her rejected wish to go explore the islands with XL. So she tried to toss the map back to XL.
Left Ear watched Xiao Yao continue to stare at the direction where Xiang Liu vanished.
Why else would she stare at the direction where XL vanished if not for longing for and missing him.
I agree that XY was not completely successful when she tried to avoid and suppress her feelings for XL. She did long for him and she did miss him, and that was why she stared after him.
After a long long time, Xiao Yao finally looked away and carefully tucked the sea map jewel away.
XY understands that no matter how much she wishes for it, XL won't change his mind and choose to accompany her. She accepts that she must walk her own path.
I view this as XY allowing herself to keep a physical reminder of XL with her, despite her ongoing efforts to avoid and suppress her feelings for him.
Yes. It's times like these that I wished Furball ran into navigation issues when sending Xiao Yao back after the 37 years, and took just that much longer to reach the destination, unfortunately not in time before a certain someone expired. Gah.liddi:
It is interesting to think about how the story would be different if TSJ had died in the maze.
Would CX have exposed his selfishness in a different way? Perhaps by trying to hurt XL/FFB instead of TSJ? Or would XY remain tied to him at the end of the story? Would XY have gotten engaged to Feng Long? Would XL have stayed and met XY when she woke up after the 37 years of healing? Would he have treated her differently if there wasn't someone else that he could push her to? Would CX have gained the throne so early? Would TSH have become the next clan leader?
Will do. After translating excerpts from two chapters, I am definitely looking forward to reading it even more.
Can't wait!
@nathsketch @plor20
I am truly sorry to hear about your grandfather and father respectively. I lost my father several years ago after caring for him for 6 years at home, and it was difficult to watch him gradually deteriorate over that period of time. One of the hardest part to accept was that his condition blindsided us because his medical results were always exemplary, and there were a lot of "if only's" that we struggled with, wondering if things would have been different otherwise. I hope and pray that you will find the strength and support to help your loved ones as well as yourselves as carers during this trying time.
Words don't seem sufficient to convey sentiments properly, but I am sending thoughts of comfort to you all.
@AH
The Chinese have a saying 善终, which means to have a good death, to die naturally, peacefully, and it is something that I myself pray for - to also be blessed with when my own time comes, without pain or suffering (physically, emotionally or mentally). More than anything else, I do not wish to be a burden to my loved ones, but whatever the outcome, I ask only for the courage and grace to face it in a way that does not cause them more undue pain.
That resonates deeply.
Probably mixing up chiêm liền cánh, cây liền cành. Sloppy work.HeadInTheClouds:
I checked the Vietnamese novel and they left out the Jian birds - they talked about birds in the sky but didn't specify them as Jian Birds. For something that is the "official" work, I find it really disappointing. The fan translation does a better job of staying accurate.
Chim liền cánh is a way to describe jian bird
If I remember correctly, wutong trees have their root interwine with each other, not the branches. The root that is crucial for the well-being of the tree. So when 2 trees have root systems interwined, it is almost impossible to separate them apart without harm to one of them.
Translation or use the idiom as "cây liền cành"( which means trees with branches interwined) doesn't fully express the meaning of connection and dependence to each other.
From what I see of these chapters, Xiao Yao's impression should have come from Ch7 (Chapter 10). Certainly, I do not see any violence in Ch9 after he saved her from the Nine-tailed fox and brought her back to A Heng.
Indeed, there is direct description of Chi Chen's cold look in Vol 2 Ch7 (or originally chapter 10) with XY nearby. That is why I suspect her impression might come from both of them. In chapter 7, his look was toward Ah Heng when he got disappointed and felt betrayed by her. However, in my mind I think that kind of cold, murderous look was his normal look toward almost everyone especially someone he disliked or his enemy. Thus when he rescued XY, she might see his look toward the Nine Tailed Fox which was not describled in the novel. TH just said he probably found the Fox, fought agaist him to rescue XY and cut a tail of him. The his look toward Yellow Emperor and others during the wedding was a kind of cold, arrogant. Additionally when Ah Heng recalled the first official meeting with Chi Chen, he also had a look kind of the look in his eyes that was so arrogant and wild that he could eviscerate the world in his one glance
I Put the excerpt in Once Promised and XY's memory/impression mentioned in Lost you Forever in the following table.
| XY's encounter with Chi Chen in Once Promised | XY memory about Chi Chen and her mom mentioned in Lost you forever |
Xiao Yao stretched out her hands to Shao Hao, saying "Father, Father", wanting him to carry her. Chi Chen felt as if he had plunged into the coldest ice cave, his body shivering uncontrollably, the burning flames in his eyes completely extinguished. Bright lights and brilliance abound all around him, but in his eyes, the world suddenly became pitch black. Xiling Heng betrayed him, deceived him! In an instant, Chi Chen's eyes turned cold-blooded and cruel, and murderous thoughts welled in him. A Heng held Xiao Yao and backed away in fear, but Chi Chen grabbed the child and threw her over to Shao Hao. (Vol 2 Ch7 (originally Ch10) | Realizing that Xiao Liu was looking at him, he looked at Xiao Liu with a smile. Xiao Liu shuddered and immediately closed his eyes. She had seen such a look in the eyes of a famous demonrenowned all over the Great Wilderness when he was a child, and it could only be tempered by stepping on countless corpses and heads. Xiao Liu guessed his identity, the legendary and handsome nine-headed murderous demon - Xiang Liu with nine lives. (Vol 1 Ch2) ------ and a man with the look in his eyes that was so arrogant and wild that he could eviscerate the world in his one glance (Vol 1 Ch17) |
| Chi Chen could not help hugging her, immeasurable pride and tenderness surging in his heart. He looked over to A Heng. "Why exactly?" In the mountains of Bai Li, she built a home for him with her own hands, personally promising that she would leave Shao Hao as soon as possible. However, by the time he woke up, she said that she could not sever the affections in Cheng En Palace and she had given Shao Hao a daughter. Even now, he could not understand why, and the only explanation he could come up with was that A Heng loved Shao Hao. Chi Chen handed Xiao Yao over to A Heng. "If she were my daughter, I would definitely be the happiest man in the whole world." Just as A Heng was about to take Xiao Yao from him, Chi Chen grabbed hold of her with one hand while carrying Xiao Yao in the other, and said, "Come away with me!" She could not help wanting to hold on to Chi Chen tightly-- Fireworks suddenly flew up to the sky, lighting up the entire Xuan Yuan City, and snapping A Heng back to reality. Her mother and brothers were still in Xuan Yuan City! Yu Wang and Qing Yang had long drawn an unbridgeable chasm between them! She pulled her hand away forcefully and frowned, "I am now the Royal Consort of Gao Xin. General, please forget me!" In that instant, Chi Chen clearly sensed her feelings, and could even feel the deepest, lingering affection on her fingertips. But just when he thought she would be willing to go to the farthest corners of the earth with him and grow old together, she became cold, and the one she thought of was Shao Hao. Once again, everything was an illusion after all! Chi Chen let go. As A Heng took Xiao Yao from him, she lowered her head and told Xiao Yao, "Say goodbye to Uncle." Xiao Yao smiled and waved, "Uncle, have a pleasant journey." Chi Chen stared at A Heng who resolutely refused to look at him once more. Shaking his head, he let out a desolate cry and left on [his roc] Xiāo Yáo** into the distance. Seeing Chi Chen standing on top of the roc all dressed in red, a vision of magnificence, as glorious as the glow of sunrise, as fast as lightning, Xiao Yao could not help but shout out to her mother in admiration, "Yao Yao also wants to ride on a big bird." Her mother's face was pressed on her forehead, not moving for a long time, tears falling on to Xiao Yao's face. Xiao Yao wiped away her mother's tears and said obediently, "Mother, don't cry. Yao Yao doesn't want to sit on the big bird anymore!" (Vol 2 Ch 9 (originally Ch12)) Note: Chi Chen and A Heng's look should match their action (in green text) ------------------Shao Hao handed Xiao Yao over to A Heng and walked down the steps to admire the lights on the river. Chi Chen walked down the steps, face pale, eyes dark, burning with grief and fury. "Why?" His voice was hoarse and low, suppressing his anger like a wounded beast. A Heng held Xiao Yao tightly, her eyes brimming with tears, not saying a word.... Chi Chen felt as if he had plunged into the coldest ice cave, his body shivering uncontrollably, the burning flames in his eyes completely extinguished. Bright lights and brilliance abound all around him, but in his eyes, the world suddenly became pitch black. .... A Heng felt the pain of the blades penetrating her bones, but her expression actually relaxed, as if she was finally free from all constraints and burdens. She did not resist at all. Never taking her eyes off him, she merely gazed intently at Chi Chen as tears fell from her eyes. (Vol 2 Chapter 7) | The insults Ah Nian hurled at her mother were the words hidden in her heart that she was most afraid to face. But in her eyes there was the image of a vividly red robe, and a man with the look in his eyes that was so arrogant and wild that he could eviscerate the world in his one glance, yet when he looked at her mom, his eyes was so tender and loving. And the way her mom looked at him…..Xiao Yao didn’t know it then, but she understood it now. The way her mom cried when she looked at him…the feeling of the tears landing on Xiao Yao’s face was a sensation she could still feel. Xiao Yao touched her face as if to wipe those tears away but there was nothing. (Vol 1 Chapter 17) |
More complete excerpt of Vol 2 chapter 7 and 9 of Once Promised is linked to Translation of Ch7 & 9 of Once Promised by @liddi
Checking the Koala translation for clarification on what Lao Mu was saying, I found this tidbit from Koala.
"... Tong Hua had hinted at the end of Once Promised the OTP for her sequel story dealing with XY."
Is this true? Were there hints at the end of Once Promised?
I don't know if one of the last part of the novel related to the hint that you mentioned. I found A Heng's yearning for Chi Chen would be similar to XY's yearning for XL the rest of her life
Below is the translation from Vietnamese translation of Once promised (Vol 2 originally Chapter 20). Note: I just used google translation with some edition. I don't have the original chinese text.
In countless long days and nights, only remembering him over and over can help me stay resilient and continue living, but the clearer the memory, the deeper the nostalgia carved into my bones, the more painful it becomes. It's heart-wrenching, it turns out that after all those endless hugs, in the end we can only live and die looking forward to each other.
I wanted to enjoy with him all the most beautiful sounds in the world, but when he left, I realized that the most beautiful sound in this world was his gentle voice calling "Ah Heng". But now, no matter how much I cry, I can't hear him gently call me "Ah Heng" anymore.
I once wanted to travel the world with him, but when I was alone in the world, I realized that he is my world, the most beautiful sight in this world is his smile. It's a pity that now, even if I call out to him hoarsely, I can't see his smile again.
He often has the habit of pulling me into his arms, close to his chest to hear his heart beating passionately in his chest. But right now, the heart that belongs to him is beating in my chest. Apparently, we used to be so closed to each other days and nights, but now we were separated by life and death. I can't touch him, and I can't hear his heart anymore.
Nostalgia is like a poisonous plant, tormenting me everday, painful like a sharp knife, gouging me every night. Every time the peach blossoms bloom, my longing and pain cannot be relieved, so... I stir up the sand storm again, just hoping to hear his heart again. Thump, thump, thump…
Vol 2 Chapter 20 orginally (Vol 2 Ch 17 in 2019 edition
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