Scars of Our Past (GeSun fanfic)

It was the night after the final battle. Princess Yicheng is gone, and all is peaceful throughout Great Tang, the grasslands, and deserts. 

Chang Ge was still resting from her near death experience with Yicheng. Her thoughts wandered back off to their conversation before the fire had started. 

Yicheng was right, there indeed was no return for her. But it still didn't ease Chang Ge’s mind knowing that the older woman had burned away in the fire. Despite all of the wrongs Yicheng has done, it was such a cruel way to die, to be burned alive in the very place that she once called home. In the end she was unable to save her. 

But her conversation with Yicheng had also scared her. Had she decided to continue with her revenge, would she also end up with the same fate as the former Sui Dynasty Princess? Would she come to the same bitterly tragic end?

Chang Ge was brought out of her thoughts when a knock came on her door.

Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes landed on the figure of A'Sun standing at the doorway. "A'Sun," she says. 

The Eagle Division general closes the door behind him before approaching her, his eyes holding a soft tenderness that was only present whenever he was around her. 

He sits down at the edge of her bedside, his gaze still fixated on her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

Chang Ge returns him a soft smile before saying, "I'm okay now. Why aren't you asleep?"

A'Sun releases a sigh before shifting his gaze away from her. "I couldn't," he responds.

The Tegin shuts his eyes as he clenches his hands tightly together. "How could I?" he whispers. "Every time I close my eyes, my mind drifts off to what could've happened if I hadn't been there in time."

Chang Ge was taken back by his confession. She thought that she had already put his mind at ease earlier while he was tending to her. But now she realizes that he was still concerned about her.

Her gaze softens as she places a hand on his fist. She gently rubs her thumb in circular motions on his hand until he eventually relaxes his clenched fists.

"A'Sun. I'm okay. I'm safe now. And I'm here with you." She reassured.

A'Sun turns his gaze back towards Chang Ge, which gives him a sense of comfort. Her words calmed him down. She was right, she was safe now, and she was here with him.

He raises his hand and gently caresses her cheek softly with his thumb. This gave him a sense of deja vu as his mind takes him back to the last time that they were both in this position. 

It was before he was arrested, the night when he had also experienced the familiar fear of almost losing her. 

Similar to that night, he leans over and places a gentle kiss on her forehead. Chang Ge's breath hitches as she was slightly taken off guard by his sudden affection.

Her heart beats rapidly as A'Sun leans back a bit to examine her features. Their eyes were locked onto each other with great intensity and emotion.

A'Sun's gaze slowly falls onto Chang Ge's lips. He waits for a moment, before once again leaning towards her and captures her lips with his. The softness of her luscious lips felt familiar as they responded to his.

The kiss deepens as their lips move against each other with perfect harmony, like magnets that can't be kept apart. All of the love, all of the yearning and worry that he held inside his heart for her, he poured it all out. 

He pulls away for a brief moment, as a lone tear slips from his eye. "I almost lost you today," he whispers. "Again."

Chang Ge raises a hand and gently caresses his cheek. "But you didn't. I'm here, and I promise I won't put myself at risk like that ever again."

A'Sun takes ahold of Chang Ge's hand that rested on his cheek, and leans into her touch. Her presence was enough for him. All he needed was her, and for her to be safe and happy. 

For a second time that night, he leans forward and claims the former Tang princess's lips. Her lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. 

He could feel the soft tickle of her breath beneath his nose, and the lingering scent of smoke was still present from the fire. Her hand that was once on his cheek now carded their way through his hair as they breathed each other in.

When A'Sun finally pulls away, a small smile lingers on his lips as he rests his forehead on Chang Ge's. 

Their eyes were still closed as they enjoyed the silence and comfort in each other's presence. 

"Chang Ge," A'Sun whispers. The Tegin leans back a bit as he silently searches her eyes for an answer to his unspoken question. 

It was as if she could read him. There were no other words uttered, she seems to understand him perfectly without him having to ask her. She gives him a nod, keeping her gaze on him to assure him that she is okay, that she wants him just as much as he wants her.

A'Sun begins to unbutton his clothes, his heart pounded against his chest to the point where he believes that it might burst through his rib cage.

He was beyond nervous. He's never felt this way about anyone before. This was all new to him. He licked his lips in order to try and calm his nerves. 

His top was now half unbuttoned as he shifted his gaze back onto Chang Ge's face. The latter's heart was in a mess itself. 

Her breath hitches with each button that A'Sun unbuttoned. She swallows her saliva as she feels her hands starting to feel clammy with sweat.  

Chang Ge holds A'Sun's gaze as she watches his eyes look at her with love and admiration. There were hints of yearning and soft tenderness in his eyes as he looked at her in a way that no one has ever looked at her before.

The warmth of his gaze warmed her heart, reminding her of how much love she has for the man before her. During the darkest moments of her life when she was weighed down by the depths of her despair, A’Sun was the one who had pulled her out of her own self hatred and given her the will and reason to live. 

Her heart had hardened, fueled with nothing but the bitter thirst for revenge for the man behind the destruction of everything she once knew. A’Sun was the person who had blown warmth onto her cold heart. When she thought that she had no one left in this world, he remained by her side. His presence was the only constant in her ever changing and arduous life, like a pillar amidst an unrelenting storm. 

Her eyes trailed down to his chest and noticed the three familiar jagged scars running across them.

Chang Ge reaches her arm out and gently runs her hand along the scars, her fingers tracing the jagged lines.

"Your scars," she starts, before glancing back to look at his eyes, "How did you get them?"

A'Sun's gaze shifts down to his scars and the hand that was now resting upon them. 

He released a sigh and took a moment of silence before beginning to recount the story. "It was when I was 13 years old. Father Khan had taken Sher'er and I out to hunt. It was a competition between Sher'er and I, of who could hunt the most prey. Sher'er had wandered off the trails and gotten his leg trapped inside a bear trap."

A'Sun looks away, his head drops as he delves more deeply into the memory. "I went to save Sher'er," he continues.

"When I arrived at the scene, a bear was already closing in on him. I don't really remember the details of what had happened, but I recall charging at it. That bear was two times my size, so of course I knew the slim chances of me beating it. But fighting it was our only chances of survival. When Father Khan came, he didn't do anything to help me. He only stood there and watched as Sher'er cried out in pain and as I fended off that bear on my own..." he pauses for a moment as his gaze shifts back onto the scars. 

"He never stepped in. Not even when I got this... I took a misstep, and my stance faltered. The bear slashed his claws across my chest. In that moment all I could think about was the burning pain. But in my idled state, I heard Father Khan calling out to me. He scolded me for being weak, for letting such a small wound take me down. I don't know how, maybe it was the adrenaline. But somehow, I managed to get back on my feet and killed the bear." A'Sun releases another deep breath and brought his focus back towards Chang Ge's sympathizing eyes.

"After killing the bear, I immediately passed out from the pain. I was in a coma for 3 days. When I woke up, I found out that I was brought back to the Eagle Division camp by Father Khan."

Chang Ge unclenches her hand that she had unknowingly tightened while listening to A'Sun talk about his past.

How could a father be so cruel? To just stand there and watch as his son was injured and fighting for his life.

"A'Sun," she calls out. "You've suffered."

A'Sun gives her a small smile. "It's all in the past. Besides, I've come to understand that despite his harshness on me, my Father Khan had cared for me in his own way. We shared bad memories, but also good ones." 

Chang Ge returns A'Sun a smile of her own after hearing his words, recalling the story that he once told her about the Great Khan. "Like when he taught you how to roast lamb." 

A'Sun nods along with a smile. "That's right."

Chang Ge's expression turns into a wistful one as she thought about her memories with her own father. "I don't think I can recall a good memory between my father and I. He was always busy... and when he wasn't, he never paid me any attention."

Her lips form into a sad smile. "Back then, I still had my mother, and my uncle. They were my family. But now..." She trails off and shifts her focus back towards A'Sun. "I have you."

A'Sun smiles and takes her hand in his own. "From now on, I am your family, and you are mine."

Chang Ge breaks into a smile at his words before nodding her head in agreement. A'sun's smile widens as he wraps an arm around Chang Ge's figure and turns her over to lie on the bed. He was now staring down at her, a small smile forming on his lips at the sight of her flushed face. 

"Chang Ge, are you shy?" he asks teasingly. Chang Ge clears her throat as she averts her gaze away for a brief moment. "As if." 

A'Sun chuckles softly. His eyes soften as he takes in her beautiful features. He loves everything about her, from her greatest qualities to her most imperfect imperfections. He tenderly cups her face with his hand, and softly strokes her tear nevus with his thumb. He smiles a bit before leaning down and places a gentle kiss on it. 

"Chang Ge," he utters softly. "I love you."

Chang Ge gazes up at A'Sun with loving eyes. His words, the gentleness that can be heard every time he says her name, the affection in his eyes when he looks at her, she loves it all. She loves the way that he understands her, the way that he doesn't hold her back and continuously supports her. She loves the way he protects her. "I love you too," she finally responds. 

She drew him toward her with her eyes. And slowly, he inclined his face toward hers until they were nose to nose, their lips only a few centimeters apart. A'Sun nudged his nose against hers, and closed the gap between their lips. 

Chang Ge wraps her arms around his body and pulls him into her. Onto her. Their bodies were pressed against each other. Warmth blossomed in Chang Ge's chest as A'Sun deepens the kiss, exploring, yearning, and making love to her.  

He kisses her neck, taking in her sweet scent. His hands trail up her body before fiddling with the strings of her clothes as he begins to undress her. He slips the garment over her shoulder, and kisses her collarbone. 

A'Sun suddenly stops, his eyes frozen on the small, circular scar on her shoulder, a scar that he was too familiar with. Guilt quickly planted itself inside his heart as his regretful eyes trailed up to meet her questioning ones. "Does it still hurt?" he asks. 

Finally understanding the abrupt change in his behavior, Chang Ge uses her thumb to smooth out the worried crinkle between his eyebrows. "It doesn't. I'm fine, you made sure of it."

A'Sun shook his head before dropping it in shame. "Chang Ge, if I could... I would've never--"

"A'Sun," she cuts him off. "You don't need to explain to me. There was nothing else you could've done. You've already done enough for me. I'm safe, and I'm okay."

A'Sun searches her eyes for forgiveness and saw that there was no resentment in them. "You don't blame me?" He asks. Chang Ge returns him a reassuring smile and shakes her head. "I don't."

A'Sun's gaze falls back onto the scar, his fingers caress it with loving tenderness, as another rush of aching emotion fills his heart upon seeing the scar. He leans forward and gently kisses it,  innocently and desperately willing the scar to disappear. 

He made a silent vow to himself at that moment. He was going to protect this woman with each and every remaining breath that he still had. He will spend the rest of his life making up for all of the sufferings of her past as well as the ones he's caused her. 

But for tonight, his love will heal her scars, just like how her presence in his life has healed him. 

p.s. shoutout to @fairydustpuppy, since I used most of her ideas for the arrow wound scene :)

hope everyone enjoys! it's my first fanfic, constructive criticism is appreciated but please don't be too harsh on me haha

Bloody hell that is ace!  

 HappyBirdEgg:

OMG!! Just fabulous!! Love it! You are an amazing writer!!

Aw thanks for the compliment! I know I still have a lot to learn haha!

thank you for providing us with all these lovely and gorgeous moments.. we would've been blessed if we had gotten them on the show but still grateful for your beautiful descriptions. i can see them playing in my head. 

Loved it! Looking forward to more. 

It’s so beautiful , can we have more please?!? 

Yes we will give you so much boba!!