Polyamory (and alternative relationship styles)
!!SOME OF THE NOTES ARE SPOILERS!!
This list will NOT include historical polygamous relationships (even though Mishil's dynamic was sooo interesting in Queen Seon Deok). Also no lavender marriages.
Qualifications for being on this list! At least 1 person in the dynamic is comfortable with consensual non-monogamy, which is why Kakafukaka is on this list even though they do not end up in a non-monogamous relationship. The show I Have Three Boyfriends would NOT count because the lead character has no intention to give the opportunity for her lovers to consent to a non-monogamous dynamic. That's just cheating. I also did not include transactional relationships like in Ashita, Watashi wa Dareka no Kanojo because while the leads are dating more than one person at the same time, this is as a profession and not desire.
Terms defined:
- Polyamory, a consenting relationship in which people are allowed to date more than one person.
- Triad, a dynamic in which three people are all dating each other
- V, when one person is dating two people, but the two other people are not dating each other
- Swinging, when partners exchange partners with another couple, usually as a one night stand
- Parallel polyamory, when someone has multiple partners, but the other partners never see or meet each other
- Meta (short for metamore), your partner's partner
- FWB aka "friends with benefits," is when people have a casual sexual relationship often described as having "no strings attached." In jdramas this is usually called "sex friends."
- ENM, ethical non-monogamy
- Unicorn/Unicorn Hunter, this controversial relationship style in polyamorous circles describes when a couple chooses to date a new person who must date both people.
- Nesting partner - partners who live together
Arranged by color of cover
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1. Between Complete and Incomplete
Korean Movie - 2021
finally some decent polyamorous representation (triad)
- MMM
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2. A Bizarre Love Triangle
Korean Movie - 2002
So. So. Toxic. please let me know if you want trigger warnings because it gets ugly
cheating to polyamory
- FFM
✨Repeat actor: Gong Hyo Jin
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3. Ikebukuro West Gate Park
Japanese Drama - 2000, 11 episodes
Cathy and Jessie end up dating Takashi at the same time at the very end of the last episode. They seem to be very jealous of each other, but they have a system they've agreed to for dating him.
- FMF (not the main characters)
✨ Directed by Kaneko Fuminori
✨Repeat Writer: Kudo Kankuro -
4. Nagi no Oitoma
Japanese Drama - 2019, 10 episodes
Gon ends up in an open relationship with Nagi, but they don't communicate about it at all.
- FM(+ mystery women)
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5. Two and One
Filipino Movie - 2022
There is some interest expressed in sharing boyfriends, but this is ultimately an open relationship that turns into cheating. The dynamic is unicorn hunters looking for a hookup. Includes poor communication and repeatedly crossing established boundaries.
- MMM
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6. My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
Chinese Drama - 2017, 16 episodes
Queer platonic relationship (be warned, there is a LOT of toxic masculinity here. Probably also homophobia? it's been a while since I watched this, but this show is unexpectedly super queer)
- MMF
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7. My Girlfriend's Boyfriend Season 2
Chinese Drama - 2017, 16 episodes
Queer platonic relationship (triad). The dynamic is never called this, but this is what it is
- MMF
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8. My Wife Got Married
Korean Movie - 2008
Polyamory (kind of toxic, poor communication) V dynamic
- MFM
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9. The Naked Kitchen
Korean Movie - 2009
It takes a while (and gets toxic) but eventually becomes polyamorous. I believe it was a V?
cheating to polyamory
- MFM
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10. Watashi to Otto to Otto no Kareshi
Japanese Drama - 2023, 10 episodes
WOOOOOOOWWWWW RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY?! This was fascinating. I think this is the first time I have seen this relationship style in television or movies.... like.... everrrrrrr so that was fucking cool. Wasn't a fan of the directing thou tbh
cheating to polyamory
- MMF (plus other love interests that are mlw and wlw and mlm)
-
11. Jealousy Incarnate
Korean Drama - 2016, 24 episodes
Conditional V dynamic (she must choose one, but she can date them both at the same time for a certain period of time)
cheating to polyamory to monogamy
- MFM but omg did the two guys have such strong qpr energy. There were also two other love triangle lines that were MFF and FMM
✨ Repeat actor: Jo Jung Suk, Gong Hyo Jin
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12. Fuufu Enman Recipe: Koukan Shinai? Hitoban Dake
Japanese Drama - 2022, 12 episodes
swinging
- (idk i didnt watch it)
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13. 3 Will Be Free
Thai Drama - 2019, 10 episodes
Polyamory
- MMF
-
14. Bad Girlfriend
Korean Drama - 2022, 12 episodes
conditional v dynamic (kitchen table style), but it ends in polyamory
cheating to polyamory
- FMM and then FM(+ mystery men)
-
15. Iyashi no Otonari-san ni wa Himitsu ga aru
Japanese Drama - 2023, 13 episodes
One of the supporting characters mentions that it doesn't matter if her crush has a partner, she'll go for them anyway! Not sure yet if she means cheating or something else, but putting on this list for now and will update when i finish the show. Update: I don't remember this getting any clearer.
-
16. My Fuxxxxx Romance
Korean Drama - 2020, 6 episodes
Parallel polyamory
- oh boy idk how to categorize, this was like... MFFF for the dude (eventually), but the girls also had their own relationship dynamics with other people I believe. I don't remember the exacts about them though.
-
17. Strawberry Night
Chinese Movie - 2019
The characters are in an open relationship. The dynamic seems to be a V
- MFF
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18. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa...
Japanese Drama - 2023, 8 episodes
The protagonists get into a FWB thing. Ren is okay with Kazuma seeing other people, but Kazuma is not interested in doing so. Their relationship is fairly monogamish.
- MM
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19. Five Senses of Eros
Korean Movie - 2009
Swinging
- FM/FM
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20. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu
Japanese Drama - 2020, 12 episodes
Friends with benefits (multiple partners) includes cheating
- FMMMMM (main character and supporting characters)
- MFFFF (main character and supporting characters)
✨Repeat writer: Date Sorami
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21. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu Season 2
Japanese Drama - 2021, 8 episodes
same as ^^
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22. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu SP
Japanese Special - 2021, 1 episode
same as ^^
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23. RaiRaiRaise Demo Chanto Shimasu
Japanese Drama - 2021, 3 episodes
same as ^^ and also someone who is already in a relationship asks someone else to marry him to act as his beard.
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24. Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu Season 3
Japanese Drama - 2022, 12 episodes
references past sex friends and deals with trying to revert to monogamy after having sex friends for a decent chunk of time.
- MF
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25. Konin Todoke ni Han wo Oshita dake desu ga
Japanese Drama - 2021, 10 episodes
well... not sure if this counts or not because of a technicality. The leads are married to each other, but the SL knows its a fake marriage. He wants to date the FL even though she is married... but its a fake marriage so thats why I'm unsure if I should count it. For now it's on here anyway. But honestly im in love with the way the ML has zero expectations of relationship dynamics whether they are as friends or as lovers. Like he just takes people as they are and respects that with no assumptions. That's just so good... so good. I love him. AGUh idk how to explain but it gives me a relationship anarchy kind of vibe even though that was not what they were going for at all. But its what my heart wanted lmao XD
There's also an interesting minor character who is getting divorced with his wife. They both seem to want to be together still, but she doesn't want to be legally married to her husband anymore. Well, that's enough of an alternative relationship to count for this list ^_^
✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori
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26. Club Sapan Fine Season 2
Thai Drama - 2022, 8 episodes
I highly recommend you just watch this one instead of reading about it because the delivery is so good and worth not being spoiled. WATCH EPISODE 2. This is an anthology so each episode is a different story. Only episode 2 is the polyamorous one.
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SPOILERS
-------------The protagonist starts off not wanting an open relationship, though I don't think his partner hides his relationships. However, the polyamorous lead is clearly gung-ho about his partner finding a new partner and is like "yoooo triad squadddd" lmao They also actually literally define their relationship as polyamory. While I appreciate that's what two of the main characters were aiming for, this definitly would not be considered ethical non-monogamy because this is clearly not a consenting relationship. Along with the cheating there is poor communication and repeated crossing of boundaries. (If you watched The Ultimatum: Queer Love, the protagonist and his first boyfriend are basically Tiff and Mildred in terms of kissing their way through every conflict.) There's an emphasis on consent from an outside party, but it's never delivered on within the actual dynamic. The tone is comedic and silly.
- MMMMMMMM (cheating... I think I counted that correctly? Main characters and mystery men)
- MMM triad (nesting partners, main characters)
cheating to polyamory (but no one is claiming this is a healthy relationship)
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27. Hit the Spot
Korean Drama - 2022, 8 episodes
Monogamish sex friends but pretty bad communication of boundaries. I think the SFL was trying to go for a "no-nonsense badass" but she just came off as rude :/
they also have other scenes with other people who are FWB
- M+ an unknown number of women and F+ an unknown number of men (not the main characters)
- When these two get together it becomes MF
- M+ an unknown number of women and F+ an unknown number of men (not the main characters)
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28. Watashi no Shite Kurenai Pheromone Kareshi
Japanese Drama - 2022, 9 episodes
One of the second FLs (Momoi) is pretty open about having sex friends.
And Mamarou makes the suggestion that if Rei and Shuto want to have a platonic relationship, Rei should be able to pursue sexual relationships with other people. (Mamarou is very much interested, and steps into cheating territory even after having this conversation :/) This show is pretty monogamish though
- MF (main characters)
- MF+ an unknown number of men (supporting and unknown characters)
✨Repeat writer: Date Sorami
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29. Futekisetsu ni mo Hodo ga Aru!
Japanese Drama - 2024, 10 episodes
In episode 7, Junko refers to her relationship as something between three people. This is not explicitly agreed upon between the two guys, Mutchy and Kiyoshi, but we can see there is some back and forth between them. Mutchy yields Junko to Kiyoshi, but he also fights to see her too, not really forfeiting like a classic SML would, but it also doesn't feel like a standard love triangle. But mostly, this is on the list because of the way that Junko seems to interpret the relationship. She also has no qualms going on dates with another man who is neither Mutchy nor Kiyoshi, and she has no issue with that man having a girlfriend. This doesn't exclude the possibility of it being cheating, but I just thought her outlook on dating was interesting.
Her husband later on is also a womanizer who is dating other women while engaged to her, but he promises to never be with another woman once they get married, and she seems fine with this arrangement.
- Mainly MFM for Junko, but also open beyond that.
✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori
✨Repeat writer: Kudo Kankuro -
30. Hello My Love
Korean Movie - 2009
Up to interpretation
- MMF
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31. Rinko-san wa Shite Mitai
Japanese Drama - 2021, 8 episodes
FWB (or as they call it in Japan, sex friends) that ends in monogamy
- MF
-
32. Kuzu no Honkai
Japanese Drama - 2017, 12 episodes
i cant remember that well but I think this was a friends with benefits thing?
i dont remember the dynamic
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33. Love Is Science?
Taiwanese Drama - 2021, 18 episodes
In episode 8, Mark says "I must ask how many boyfriends she has," in a way that felt like he didn't mind if she was dating other people. He also cheats on many women, but his open-minded approach to Joanna counts for this list. To be clear, these are not the main characters.
- This is how to explain.... this is MMF but like MF that eventually becomes platonic (not the protagonists). There's like a kid involved and the three agree to co-parent together.
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34. 49 Days with a Merman
Taiwanese Drama - 2022, 14 episodes
Recommended by anonymous:
"The show features a V poly situation where the main male lead has a romantic dynamic with both a boy and a girl at the same time. The chemistry between everyone is great [...]"
- MMF
Will update when I watch it too! ^_^
Update! I watched this and didn't feel the relationship dynamic was explicit enough for me personally, and that's probably because I really value direct communication with clearly defined dynamics in my relationships. I can see why it could be interpreted the way anon recommended it. The romance between the leads that anon mentions is mostly homoeroticism, while towards the end it becomes a lot of self-sacrifice, which in the context of youth dramas can be done by your friends (this is a rag-tag group) or for someone you love when it's also a romance drama. For me, because there's never the air that Longjie would want to date both Renyu and Biyu at the same time, I wouldn't count it.While this drama breaks my first qualification for this list, "At least 1 person in the dynamic is comfortable with consensual non-monogamy," as we don't get an indication of this at any point, this recommendation is a good opportunity to reflect on the fact that not everyone's experience in non-monogamy has such clear-cut borders of "dating" vs "not dating." And for that alone I'll make it an exception to the list. It's a good reminder that there are lots of different ways to experience non-monogamy.
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35. Hijra in Between
Taiwanese Movie - 2018
When they're in college, He Xi Zhen is in an open relationship with her boyfriend. Wen Hao Sheng doesn't approve, and she says she's okay with it, but it doesn't seem to be a healthy relationship :( And her meta is super mean!!! But then later He Xi Zhen says the meta is just her boyfriend's confidante.... so not his other partner? A little confused on this one. Might not actually count. Probably need to rewatch. Lmk what you think!
- MFF (one of the main characters and then side characters)
- (also if you're looking for trans and/or intersex characters, here ya go! While it was cheating, the dynamic with the protagonist who I interpreted as trans is MFF as well. This was with all the main characters)
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36. Summer Grass
Korean Movie - 2021
This one is up to interpretation, but I think it's fair to say from her nap dream that this is about wanting some kind of polyamorous relationship
- FFM
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37. 5 Lessons in Happiness: Throuple
Taiwanese Movie - 2020
Literally up to the audience
- MFF
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38. His
Japanese Movie - 2020
This barely counts, but Sora wishes her parents and Shun to live together. :')
- MM
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39. Three of Us
Korean Movie - 2022
This is a story about a triad. It starts off really sweet before the relationship starts to crack.
I found this interesting as it felt pretty real. Jieun, the most experienced of the group in more than two dynamics, starts off pretty bluntly getting into rules. At first, I thought "oh her rules are pretty controlling. Is she going to grow out of that?" but as her characterization went on, I realized that's just where she is in life. I liked seeing how she tries to manipulate her jealousy, because it's a pretty real experience and something people do sometimes try to tackle that way. And I loved her line of "I'm not living an experiment," and suddenly realizing that's all that Yeon thought this was. Idk Minjun also brought something interesting to the table as the guy who bragged about having two girlfriends, kind of bringing out that common insecurity people have about MFF arrangements. Each of them were characters who felt like they represented different perceptions and experiences of polyamory. It was kind of dope. They all had flaws they couldn't really overcome, and sometimes its worth watching a movie where people fail.
- MFF
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40. TharnType
Thai Drama - 2019, 12 episodes
Type interprets their relationship as he can flirt with other people. When they do talk about boundaries it's not pretty and even involves punching. Type is adamant that their relationship is nonexclusive while Tharn would prefer they be monogamous even if it's only as sex friends.
Sex friends to casual lovers to monogamy
- MM
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41. Kakafukaka
Japanese Drama - 2019, 10 episodes
a love triangle where one man proposes to a lady, who is in love with someone else. He knows and says he doesn't mind the two being together and even offers to raise any future children from the two. This show ends up being monogamous though
- MF (but one of the characters wishes it was MFM)
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42. Oh My Ghost
Korean Drama - 2015, 16 episodes
This is on the weird boundry of "this does not really count, but it sort of counts." Very unconsensual.
- FMF
✨ Repeat actor: Jo Jung Suk
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43. Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu
Japanese Drama - 2023, 8 episodes
So these two did not communicate about what kind of relationship they were going to be in or anything. Because of this there's a misunderstanding where Ritsu assumed they were in an open relationship and Masumi assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. Yikes!
- MM(+ mystery people)
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44. Kimi wa Petto
Japanese Drama - 2003, 10 episodes
Momo (aka Takeshi) at one point asks if he can still be Iwaya's pet if she gets married (episode 5). Not that any throuple actually happens, but it counts for this list! Because her relationship with Momo is a secret, the show's dynamic is more like cheating.
- MFM
✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori
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45. Tiger & Dragon
Japanese Drama - 2005, 11 episodes
Megumi and Kotora are described as being sex friends. Kotora doesn't consider himself to be boyfriend-girlfriend with Megumi, but they're still seeing each other. It's the kind of relationship where Kotora gives Mugmi's number to Ryuji when they all know he likes her. Also Megumi very clearly is not interested in being tied down to any one person (though she does seem interested in dating) and flirts with many different guys.
- im not gonna try and categorize that one lmao its too complicated. (protagonists and others)
There's also an odd relationship dynamic with the rakugo teacher. He has a girlfriend??? who is also his second wife?? but he is also married. Anyway, the husband also tries to set his girlfriend up with his old friend from college. And he tells Kotora not to tell anyone about her, but also he introduces her to everyone so I'm not actually sure what's going on here. I think he is hiding the relationship from his wife though, so that's cheating.... right? Except that his wife and his girlfriend both know about each other and actually are good friends, and they keep their friendship a secret from their boyfriend/husband! Wait... maybe that's still cheating.
- uhhhhhhh this is.... FMF? Yeah... but then its MF MF (supporting characters)
✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori
✨Repeat writer: Kudo Kankuro -
46. This Is Not What I Expected
Chinese Movie - 2017
okay but hear me out.... if you look at it as a metaphor.... then Lu Jin's personal chef was looking for a non-monogamous relationship. But that's only if you interpreted it as a metaphor (like I did).
- MF (but in my head its FMF)
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47. Kemutai Ane to Zurui Imoto
Japanese Drama - 2023, 8 episodes
In the FIRST EPISODE the ML asks about polyamory. However, while there is infidelity, this is a show that focuses on monogamy and cheating throughout.
- MF and the guy ends up cheating with another woman (his wife's sister)
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48. My Rosy Life, His Rosy Passion
Japanese Movie - 2014
So this is a lavender relationship between a gay man (Otoya) and a woman (Ruri). However, the woman falls in love with her husband while he finds the touch of a woman repulsive, describing it like a phobia. Typically, I wouldn't count a lavender relationship, but because Otoya's partner (Junpei) knows that Ruri is in love with Otoya, and neither Junpei nor Ruri mind that they are both in love with Otoya, I think it counts for at least something that is not your typical relationship style. It may be one-sided for her, but they all consider each other family. However...
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SPOILERS
-------------Alas what are we to do? Ruri falls for Junpei too and they cheat together. Still, Ruri wants the three of them to raise a child together and continue their home life as. Otoya ends up cheating on Junpei I guess in retaliation? But the guy he sleeps with is like "wait but that's beautiful" and Otoya ends up agreeing to a three-person relationship with Ruri and Junpei that I suppose is probably a V dynamic. The ending of the movie is literally "And that's when our family began" as they walk off together holding hands. I'm starting to realize this is a small trope in these kinds of stories (married couple cheats, someone gets pregnant, they three stay together).
- MMF