DesertEagle88

He absolutely questioned why she runs to her roommates to tell them things and she said because they are supportive!

He also wanted her to stop helping Sun Yu, he even threatened to bankrupt Sun Yu by pulling his investment and calling the other investors and telling them to do the same all because she was helping Sun Yu at the entrance of her company's event. Even though he knows that she wasn't using the app to go on dates or talk to other men. What do you think him doing that would have done to her friendship with Sun Yu had he followed through? Did he even care about that at all?

Even if the Ex and Sun Yuanzhu liked HER she wasn't trying to be with either of them so isn't it a bit hypocritical of him to be jealous when he regularly goes on trips with Zang Yao?

"She lived with a roommate for six years and never realized he had feelings for her?"

So you blame her for not knowing this when Sun Yuanzhu never said anything to her and she knew Sun Yu liked him? Why would she spend any time thinking that Sun Yuanzhu liked her?

"My deduction is that Flora treats Luke less like a boyfriend and more like a boss with benefits."

I 100% agree and she should he does not act like a (nice) boyfriend. And he only started calling her his girlfriend after she tried to put distance between them. He never took her on dates, didn't wish her happy birthday, didn't buy her flowers, didn't trust her, doesn't say nice things to her unless prompted.

What does your added context change about him calling her incapable, stupid, dumb, easy to target, cheap, obedient, naive, weak minded etc for years??

You don't want to explain it because, you can't make it better. Are you trying to say when he called her all these things he meant she was fantastic?

"You make it sound like he has been verbally abusing her everyday for no reason."

He literally was verbally abusing her from the very first day she started working for him and the reason was to get her to quit.

You're not going to gaslight me into thinking he was helping her. If she had quit that first day and never came back he wouldn't have thought twice about her. No one said he had to be perfect but if he wants her to stay in a relationship with him and run to him first he can't be verbally abusive to her whenever she does anything.

I am absolutely not shocked that the behavior and words of MLs in most other cDrama's would be considered red flags. We live in a patriarchal world after all. Most drama's center that even in the west.

I personally would consider SangYan more of a gray flag, there have been reddit threads about his stalking and lying to the FL in TFF and I can see how the behaviors can be construed by many as such, I will add, that I agree with @Jiejie about the added concept of 'malice' being necessary to really pin point red flag behavior. Obviously, Sang Yan never had any malice toward the FL no matter how many times she rejected him.

When it comes to Luke.... his mouth can start sounding real malicious sometimes so it's hard to cut him slack and he is absolutely verbally abusive. Every character has told him this!

Yes, in ep 14 after she blocked him and he was trying to get back into her good graces he praised her in their meeting. Like I said, he is capable of sweetness, but it usually comes after she establishes a boundary or distance between them.

I also can admit he talks nicely about her to other people (e.g. Alex when she put in for a transfer), but the main issue is he rarely tells HER these things and she has been begging him for it because she craves words of affirmation. She's starving for some positive words from him. She lights up every single time.

I head cannon she has a praise kink in bed because that's probably the only place where he regularly compliments her on anything.

Thank you for joining in the discussion.

I appreciate your views and agree with your added distinction of malice.

I will add I think Luke has emotional triggers that make him act *as if* he is coming from a place of malice but it's really low self control, especially because he really does have feelings for Flora (even if they come out a little wonky).

One more question: Do his intentions matter more than the impact of his words and actions?

To me: he has been chipping away at her self esteem for *years* then blaming her for not turning to him *first* whenever she needs support and telling her she’s wrong for having a support network outside of him. He wants her to be alone unless he approves of who she is with.

Yes, he has moments of sweetness but that usually comes after she tries to put distance and boundaries between them and it doesn’t last long.

So you are okay with verbal abuse against female characters , got it!

You mean like the time he said he was going out with his ex gf but really he was meeting up with his cousin/sister?

Or what about the time he told her he needed her to work overtime but really he just wanted to prevent her from meeting up with her roommate?

Does the time that he was pretending to be sicker than he was to get her to take care of him count?

What about time he said he couldn't find Luke's vaccination record so he could keep her dog with him as an excuse for her to keep in contact with him outside of work?

Do these incidents count as deceit or NO???

You don’t think him calling her incapable, stupid, dumb, easy to target, cheap, obedient, naive, weak minded etc for years is abuse ?

You minimize the verbal abuse she experiences just like he does but she has been asking him for years to speak nicer, gentler, kinder to her and he never does. Literally every main character he has interacted with has told him he needs to learn how to speak nicely but he hasn't.

She is someone who *needs* words of affirmation and he rarely gives her those.

Imagine how their relationship would have developed if he had always spoken kindly to her. She would have run to him first for everything. Folks keep saying they are equally problematic but their problems begin and end with his MOUTH.

You don’t think him calling her incapable, stupid, dumb, easy to target, cheap, obedient, naive, weak minded etc for years is abuse ?

Please explain how your question relates to the issue of the verbal abuse I mentioned?

Also, please post your picture if you think the FL is ugly so we can do proper comparisons on ugliness.

Are you mad that the FL has a sex life with your fav or nah?

Is verbal abuse only abuse when the ML is ugly?

Trust me I know exactly how you feel.

Too many women are dismissing the verbal abuse as if that isn't the main issue. Folks saying she's also a red flag or equivocating that she's just as bad don't see he's been chipping away at her self esteem for YEARS.

Also imagine where they would have been if he had been capable of communicating to her kindly from day one.

😂 LOL so true.

My eyes have been opened over the airing of this drama about how many 'girly girls' actually hate FL's having agency especially if that agency is not in line with what the attractive ML needs or tells her to do 🙄😂

true!

Of all the reasons you list I think the below is the closest red flag behavior she's displayed: She suddenly brings up her bucket list and marriage when they had their mini-fight but when Luke hesitates, she handles the rejection by shutting down completely.

That is definitely red.

When it comes the the dating app I think its out of proportion because he is an *inside* investor of the Dating App business Sun Yu is running, realistically he should already know exactly how it operates, why any part of it should shock him you have to tell me, but even if he was shocked, when does Flora have time to go out on dates? She's always working, which he knows, because he's with her for that and when she's not working he's with her in his apartment or she's studying English/French, or helping her roommates. So it comes off a bit hypocritical and controlling for him to be yelling at her about the dating app that she's not even using (and only downloaded to help her friend)

As far as her being "dishonest" I don't agree with that at all.

When she first started *she* was* an* open* book*

*HE* was the one who was always telling her she is too naive, too trusting, too open, too easy to target. Overtime, she becomes more hesitant to share things *with him* because of what he keeps telling her. Notice she has no problem sharing her issues with roommates or Lumi or even talking with Kitty once the SA issue comes up, ultimately I feel it's because of Luke's verbal abuse that she becomes hesitant to share information because she's always waiting for him to say something mean or unkind to her.

People take his verbal abuse too lightly, but if we could picture she was getting physically cut by all the unkind things he's told her over the years she would be an open wound especially because he rarely apologizes for his words.

thank you!

Yay you helped me fix it! I hope your pillow always stays cool, your fridge stays full of your favorite snacks, and you always have a riveting 32 episode Cdrama to watch 🩷

LOL good one 😂