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I won’t be on the discussion thread to avoid uncovered trailer spoilers.
CX's goal is to win the crown to bring peace to Dahuang and be in the most powerful position to protect XY. I honestly don't know what comes first but although XY has no desire to rule she is of one heart with him. As she advised A'Nian not to expect CX to be a one woman man, he will marry and be kind/grateful to many women if it gets him where he wants to be. And I do think CX's end game is A'Nian. Then Xiyan and Haoling become one. No more wars. No more children orphaned by war. The first persons XY and CX lost forever is not a lover but their parents.
I don't think XY is unreasonable at all. She is actually incredibly realistic. She also knows XL is also just like her and CX. They are sworn to a cause greater than love. And XL is in conflict with CX and thus her cause. She can't love him and he can't love her. They may be soul mates but neither has free will. I don't think she is under any illusions about XL but she personally cares for him even though she must at the end of the day side with CX in any conflict between them.