This review may contain spoilers
***May contain spoilers***I love this movie, cute, lovely, bittersweet, relatable, all rolled into one. I love movies that talks about the reality of loving someone and yet having a dreams and this two conflicts each other and that you have to choose one and regretting at the end. I love the two leads, the acting sre excellent. You can see the transitions as they grow and mature. What makes this a beautiful, is that how the storytelling is just honestly being told. I cried, it is sad, it's painful. God, I feel them, the love in the family is so real!
We really need to constantly remind ourselves that we need to express and demonstrate our love and care to the people we love. This movie just provided a realization that we need to express our love no matter how. The additional scenes of real people saying all kinds of emotions that they cannot tell to their loved ones or lost love, I am just having goosebumps.
Great movie to watch. Soundtracks is excellent especially at the end. Highly recommended.
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This review may contain spoilers
****Contains a few Spoilers***Let me just start off by saying this, It made me cry like a baby but I think I would watch it again. It totally gave me 'One Day' movie feels. the one with Anne Hathaway. The storyline was a bit predictable (kinda figured out what was going to happen at the end of the movie) but still beautiful to watch. The cute start, the getting together, and the bittersweet end. I don't think I have ever seen a movie that honestly gives us a pretty accurate description of a relationship like this. The whole, "just because you love each other doesn't mean you're meant to be". you can love someone to bits but sometimes it just doesn't work out. And they did it in a realistic way, there was no childish dramatics. it was honest, real problems that couples go through. God, it killed my feels. The actors played their part so well, I fell in love with them. She was so cute and he was so in love with her. The both matured and grew throughout the film. The whole relationship was so cute and the ending was done perfectly even though it hurt to watch. The music was so good. It wasn't like songs but rather piano to fit the mood. I like it. There are two theme songs for the movie that they played at the end. If you're in for a film that is cute but sad, watch this. I loved it despite crying over it.
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"The world will turn colorless"
*** Contains a few spoilers***Honestly loved it so much. It left me sad and with an immense void in my heart but also satisfied? It's such a beautiful movie.
When Jianqing said "if Ian couldn't find Kelly at the end, then the world will turn colorless" and the next scene is Xiaoxiao putting on earrings for him in a colorless picture. The cinematography of this movie is so detailed and simple, yet mindblowing, I love it.
Also this dialogue:
Jianqing: We have everything in the end.
Xiaoxiao: Just not each other.
Bitch that shit HURTED. HURTED MUCH.
The way they still cared for each other after all those years makes me so sad and it reminded me of this American movie 'Before Sunset' because I watched it only a couple days ago and I was kind of hoping for their romance to develop like Jesse and Celine's but it'd have been wrong to wish for an affair right...? Unless...
The scene of Jianqing's dad letter to Xiaoxiao absolutely wrecked me up, do NOT touch parents being abandoned by their children and expect me not to cry.
I love how this movie's whole plot is surrounded and greatly affected by their poor status, however, poverty is never seen romantically and Jianqing's dad even mentions something like "do you think you can do anything now just because you're rich." What a wise man.
Also, the whole game was a love letter and a confession to the world, how would their lives have been if only he got on the train or if she looked for him after watching his interview about his game...
Anyway, this is probably one of my fav sad romantic movies that i'll rewatch in the future if I'm in the mood to bet sad.
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The story’s tone is that of a sad one, one could argue it’s a bittersweet. And the most moving part of the story is actually of the main male lead’s father. His letter at the end makes this a good story, otherwise, I would down right dislike this story.
What I don’t like about this story is the main male lead claimed he would give her stars from the sky, and pearls from the deep ocean. Yet... he gave up on her almost immediately and got married and have kid? They didn’t break up for longer than 2 yrs, with 1 yr he tried to apologise to her. There was part where he claimed “he doesn’t have the right to be in pain”, and at the end of it, I’m not sure he gets why she left him.
Maybe I sympathise with the female lead so much more that I couldn’t stand the male lead, and that’s why while I enjoyed the movie, think the plot was decent, however the tone was depressing, and the guy literally had no redeeming quality, I couldn’t rewatch it ever, hence the low rewatch value score.
I do get that this story is about the biggest regret in your life, but the dude goes on living in fancy house, a beautiful wife and kid, while she’s alone and all sad, reminiscing about their past love is just uh... not right. I just don’t feel he’s that remorseful? It’s almost turn out to be her biggest regret was to dump him??? Like it’s not, but it felt like it is with how it ends. And some of the messages at the end felt more like gloating than trying to tell the (past) greatest love of your life that you are ok and living well, if it wasn’t for the music, I would think very differently. So here is why I think the music serves its purpose.
Do I recommend this? Well not exactly, while it’s beautiful in many ways, it’s frustrated in many ways, and it’s 2hours long, at 90mins, I was like is this gonna end? But it’s not a bad watch either, so if you want to watch a movie about two young lovebirds struggle and didn’t make it, then be my guest.
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1"Happiness is not a story, misfortune is"
Young love is a heady experience that eventually has to give way to maturity and communication or else the relationship is doomed to failure. Us and Them showed how love blossomed and faded, but never scattered away.Jian Qing and Fang Xiao Xiao meet on a train headed to their hometown for Lunar New Year celebrations. The two hit it off and become friends. Both are struggling to make their dreams come true in Beijing. Xiao Xiao dates men older than her who are established because she wants to live in a nice house. After Jian Qing graduates from college, he works odd jobs selling games and porn. His dream is to create a video game but struggles with a lack of time and resources. After a second broken heart, Xiao Xiao moves into Qing’s cramped accommodations and the two eventually become lovers. Financial struggles begin to take a toll on the two as they attempt to make a living in Beijing.
By presenting the couple in the present (in black and white) and the past (in color) we learn how their expectations changed over time. Xiao Xiao went from wanting to live in a nice house to being content to live in a veritable dungeon with Qing. Qing doesn’t get that message and the pressure in his mind to measure up begins to build. Even as their fortunes change, Qing doesn’t comprehend what Xiao Xiao truly wanted. The older versions are able to look back on their younger selves and see the missteps and inevitabilities along the way.
The most heartbreaking element of the film for me, was Qing’s relationship with his father. His black and white problem-solving brain missed what his father tried to tell him. He diminished the sacrifices his father made for him, only realizing how his words cut when it was too late. Sometimes it is too late to say, “I’m sorry.”
Rene Liu created a gorgeous film with stunning snowy vistas, beautiful autumn walks, and claustrophobic living spaces. Jing Bo Ran and Zhou Dong Yu had a believable chemistry as young lovers and older, maybe wiser adults. Tian Zhuang Zhuang gave a touching performance as Qing’s dedicated father.
Us and Them conveyed through the obstacles Qing and Xiao Xiao faced that love isn’t always enough. Communication, trust, perseverance, and understanding are required to hang in for the long haul. All of these things are made even more difficult in poverty and when always on the move for shelter. The dumbest movie advice ever came from 1970’s Love Story, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” It’s just the opposite, love whether romantic or familial means saying you’re sorry and always working to do better. Or I suppose as this film declared, “If you see Kelly, tell her I’m sorry.” Us and Them was a bittersweet tale of love, heartache, and healing well worth giving a try.
17 September 2025
Patti Smyth may have said it best:
There’s a danger in loving somebody too much
And it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough
Final note:
Don't skip the credits with real people giving ex-lovers messages. My fave..."Don't come back!" lol It also had a short epilogue.
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This review may contain spoilers
"We have everything in the end." "Just not each other."
This is like the saddest romantic film I've ever seen. I was quite wondering at first why the past was colored and the present was b&w, until it all made sense. Ian and Kelly were the characters in Jian Qing's video game, Ian loved Kelly and the point of the game was to find her. Jian Qing once answered that if Ian wouldn't meet Kelly in the end, it would be colorless.Jian Qing and Xiao Xiao had the best start, making me, a watcher fall in love with them too. They were so inlove with each other, and they were so happy. The world they built was full of happiness and love, but it needed more than just the two. The foundation they started was weak enough, that when reality starts hitting it slowly crumbled. They built fort but they never made it home. I also wondered when did it started to go wrong. Is it when Jian Qing began to become distant? Is it when they moved houses? Is it when Xiao Xiao gave up and turned her back?
Or maybe is it from the start? Instead of lending puzzle pieces to complete each other, they happen to miss the same puzzle piece that none of them can be completed.
For me, I think, they were both Ian from the video game, and Kelly was their selves. The past was colored because they were themselves from finding love from each other and the present were dark because when they lost each other, they found themselves lost. And when they met again, it was b&w, because they can't find their self due to questioned pasts. They tried answering the left "why"s from their past, and had the closure and the proper goodbye. In the end, it started to have colors. Jian Qing and Xiao xiao weren't each other's destination, they were just each other's stop over. They weren't meant to complete each other, but just an instrument to help each other grow.
The whole movie was a bittersweet one. It was painful, it was sad but it was real. Some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together, and some are meant to be together but not meant forever. The "what if"s where so painful, but still comes down to being pointless. What's the use of what if, when you can't turn back time?
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Relatable, and depressing with a hint of nostalgia
This movie is one of those slow icepicks aimed right thrue the heart... A story trying to answer the age old question will two miserable souls become happy when crammed together in a tiny apartment or will the two just become miserable? Do you have to be with the person you love or is it better to let go... How many setbacks are too many set backs, is there a way back in to love? Or is it just better to let it go? And does a break up mean we did not love at all?This is beautifully done with well timed flashbacks, filming angles as well as use of color/lack of color...
The acting in this movie is top, and so is the mood... depressing with a constant feeling of trying to balance between hope and pain.. waiting for the inevitable break up, and to find out what will happen when they reunite. How much of the movie will focus on each etc... Keeping viewers, or at leas me on my toes and with a constant lump in my chest.
There are a few scenes that hit harder than others, reminding me of relationships passed... an experience that may not look so bad but is indeed more painful than most people who just see it can imagine. And I love this movie for making way for that part of being in a relationship.
I also love the female lead, she is very much a human being and extremely relatable. The male lead does seem to lack some communication skills and even if he did remind me of my ex at times, he was not as bad as that guy but did need a lesson or two in communication and anger management.
So what do I say, save this for a day when you can handle darkness... but do not be afraid to watch it, it is one of the better slice of life movies out there.
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Colourless world of what ifs and regrets...
The movie explored the realistic and complex nature of long-term relationship between Jian Qing and Fang Xiao Xiao. It focused on their journey as a couple, their growth, how they became mature, and faced the challenges of life by staying together over time. Their story is not just a sweet or innocent romantic story but delves into the deeper, something different, difficult realities of love and commitment over the years together.The acting in the movie is top-notch, especially the performances of the two leads. Their portrayal of them getting to know eachother, then being friends and later lovers felt realistically natural. They were lovely, silly but beautifully flawed together. Jing Boran, Zhou Dong Yu and the actor who played Jian Qing's father, Tian Zhuang Zhuang's superb acting that effectively portrayed their emotional transitions and growth of the characters throughout the film. The chemistry between the leads added the special, exclusive authenticity to their relationship which eventually made the story more engaging and relatable for me.
The narrative is described as lovely yet realistic, focusing on the ups and downs of a couple's life together. It touched on the themes of love, sacrifice, and the question of whether love can endure through life's hardships. The film's portrayal of these themes resonated with me very much. Because I truly appreciated their honest and mature approach to life. For me the FL who believed to do her without leaving in regrets has truly lived her life fullest. On the other side the ML who relied more on his self-sabotaging approach, had more regrets than he could imagine. The regrets piled up and hindered their happy life. Proved that sometimes love isn't enough to be together. Not everything in life our works out as we wanted it to be. Somethings are better left unfinished and unspoken. Their realistic soliloquy pierced through my heart many times that it made me cry a ton. I can't explain it enough how brilliantly the actors portrayed their emotions, that I could feel how they were hurting.
Also loved the mood and tone of the film. The soundtrack served its purpose without overshadowing the story or performances. It sewed their bittersweet journey in a melodious hidden love track.
Overall, this movie is a beautiful and heartfelt film that offered a sincere yet complex look at love and relationships. If you enjoy realistic approach to romance and life that goes the beyond clichés and explore the complexities of love, then I highly recommend this!
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it is good this one did not do that as the missed life together is the point.
my favorite scene was the one in the car . i thought there was so much emotion, it really was the best scene.
the other thing i loved was the scenery. the snowy roads and byways were gorgeous. shots on the train...i thought the whole movie was beautifully mad
another great asian movie....i love that i was able to find all these gems on netflix...
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This review may contain spoilers
[NO SPOILERS] This movie is a real gem. Each scene is so well written, directed and acted, it seems like real life, but still stylized. There's little bits of unexpected business that just ads to the enjoyment of the film: a little giggle here, and turn of a phrase there, a certain look, etc. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. It reminded me in the tone and pacing of "Unstrung Heroes", another heart-string pulling film directed by an famous actress. Once you get to the end of "Us and Them" you are rewarded with such a bittersweet experience, you'll just sit transfixed for a while. It's that good. Was this review helpful to you?
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