Cute romance
I didn't expect to enjoy this drama, because I saw Song Wei Long's flat acting in Untouchable Lovers and I also didn't think Victoria Song would be a good actress because she was a k-pop star. Surprisingly, their chemistry and older-woman-younger-man romance worked out very well.Things I enjoyed:
1. Romance of the main leads: Fanxing is 32 y/o while Yuan Song is 22 y/o. Fanxing is mature so she stays as reasonable as she can, yet her innocence in love and dating comes out when she deals with things such as jealousy and minding what outsiders think of her relationshup. Meanwhile, Yuan Song is young, yet he is determined to be a man in his own right. I'd describe this as a very enjoyable masculine and feminine dynamic.
2. Other storylines: Every else also had their own relationship troubles, such as Fanxing's twin brother's relationship with his younger female student, Fanxing's two older friends (one struggling to deal with a cheating husband and one being too headstrong to readily accept a traditional female role), etc.
3. Characters: I loved the main characters as well as side characters, each having their own story or personality. The closest to annoyance I felt was with the 2nd male lead, but his "annoyingness" does have its place in the drama and story line.
4. COMEDY: I can't tell if I'm childish, but I have to admit there were so many scenes where I laughed out loud at how ridiculous/petty the humor was, yet it felt like very realistic things I've seen in day-to-day life. It feels like the writer of this drama is actually quite in touch with the current generation and dating scene and could thus throw in jokes at appropriate moments.
Overall, I would recommend this if you're interested in that older-woman-younger-male romantic dynamic. The drama did a great job in showing it's quite reasonable while also being fun and light to watch.
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A cheating story
Female lead cheated on male lead emotionally in the first relationship then the female lead cheating on the second main lead emotionally and somewhat physically in the second relationship.I wished 100% that male lead shouldn't have given the second shot to the female lead he should have moved on and dated someone else someone reasonable somewhat good enough for him.
Fl was not good for ml...
Ml suffered the most.
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This review may contain spoilers
**SPOILER ALERT**I finished this drama in 2 days - watched till 3am in the morning #covoid19 time *_<
So first of all....letme talk about the characters. All the cast and characters were amazing. Both main leads were very well chosen from the director - APPROVED
He fan xiang - a women who hasnt been in a relationship within 30 years of her life. She finally finds her first love, someone who was younger than her by 10 years but she chooses to have a secret relationship with him because she's too scared of people's views. However bc she hasnt experienced being in a relationship and has so many insecurities about her relationship (how people see her and whether shes good enough or not), she chooses to let go of her true love and chooses someone who everyone thinks is "compatible" for her. Her character is very interesting. A character that teaches everybody to not care about what other people think about your relationship.....but think about how you feel and whether you love your other pair or not. She also teaches us that love is something you can't force. You can try your best to love someone but if you love someone else - you can't love no matter how much you try.
Song yuan. Let's just say......hes the most handsome guy I've seen in a drama recently lmao. Moving on.......he really suited this role. A young, fresh 20 year old that was ambitiously in love (i really wanted him as my bf >_<) with a 30 year old women. He didnt think much about what other people think, all he wanted was a loving relationship and a girlfriend that he could show off to everyone - opposite to he fan xiang. Which was what was interesting about this couple. She was mature and cared to much about what other people though while he was too 'young(?)' to care about what other people had to think, which is what created a flaw in their relationship.
I only talked about the 2 main leads bc they were the main characters that set up the plot and Itd take me all day to mention the rest lol but I also have to acknowledge zhang yu jian.......all i can say is that hes a fcken amazing actor. LOVED HIM
Within this drama......there were lots of relationships that I liked.
1) Ofc the relationship between the main leads. OMFG. They were so cuteee!!!!! A pretty 30 year old women and a handsome 20 year old man so madly in love. AHHHH!!!!! Was so jealous watching them lol.
2) He can yang and cai min min......I gotta say.....this couple was the cutest couple in the drama (sorry main leads), OMFRICKKKENNNN GOSHHH. The cringe LEVEL they gave me was unbeatable....gotta watch for yourself.
3) he fan xiang and he can yang. I really liked their sibling relationship..........they fight all the time, talk sht about each other all the time but during hard times, they're there for each other, care for each other and help each other out. So heart warming so their relationship was very special and nice.
Now I loved the characters role and acting so much so but the story line was a problem. TBH.....pretty much the first 20 episodes of this drama........it was SOOOOOOOOOOO BORINGGGG. I pretty much just skipped to the main leads most of the time (if you do skip........dont u dare skip the main lead scenes). However then after 20 episodes.......the story line gets interesting.........they have more meaning about life. However I did wish that the main couple had more loving scenes during the 2nd half of the drama.......there were but there weren't? ahahhah.........youll get what i mean when u start watching.
But overall......this was a exceptionally great, different and unique drama to watch. LOVED IT
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As the title has mentioned - Find Yourself is really suitable for this cdrama storyline as for a mature and independant lady/woman really needs to know what she is seeking for in a guy either a life partner or soul partner.
This story relates on the Asian Chinese single and mature lady hence it might not be applicable to Westerners single and mature lady as both has different culture, background, education, family brought up and friendship.
At the moment I feel this is one of the best modern cdramas which I have watched so far 'coz most modern cdramas have the concept of alien bf or gf or worst time travelling. Even though this is not really that good but based on this modern society and the increase of single and mature lady, I feel this story also touches on the concern and worries of how society accepting mature lady dating or marrying a much younger guy (age gap more than 5 years).
Overall the castings in this drama managed to bring up their roles very well especially Ye Lu Ming role how he goes after He Fang Xing and let go of her after much persuasion and effort put in. I remembered a line where Ye Lu Ming told He Fang Xing - "I am a businessman who if make an investment and does not has any ROI then I have no choice but to cut off this investment". Same goes to a relationship I have walked 99 steps and you just need to walk a step towards me and if you can't do it we call it a quit. Tbh. Ye Lu Ming is a good life partner 'coz he is mature, understandable, patience and most importantly financially stability. Whereas Yuan Song is like a soul partner a person who is young, vibrate, full of energy, romantic and financially he is still ok (his father's is Ye Lu Ming good friend & business associates).
If you are He Fang Xing who would you choose - life or soul partner? If you want to know the answer to this cdrama then I strongly suggest you to watch it. Every episode is rather interesting and funny except the final episode even though it's a happy ending.
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Better than I expected but not without its flaws...
I started this because I was craving some Song Wei Long. Despite hearing good things I had low expectations. May-December dramas don't particularly appeal to me but I don't mind the concept. This one was exceptionally well done and well casted actually. It wasn't perfect but the chemistry between the leads had me hooked....
The main couple: I like Victoria Song's music more than her acting but she did pretty well here. It could be because this character is similar to her real personality that made He Fan Xing more believable? And I also think it had to do with her having such good chemistry with SWL. And SWL played his lovesick, cheeky, green flag character perfectly. All of his microexpressions and longing gazes were swoony and very convincing (currently fanning myself thinking of certain scenes lol). He portrayed every moment perfectly from when he was being playful, feeling desire or feeling sadness. Whenever his expressions would drop or darken when he was disappointed or hurt, I really felt for him. Every scene with him was top notch. Although it was stressful seeing him rejected constantly, I still understood where HFX was coming from. She could've handled the situation better but I actually appreciated how human and flawed her character was. She never denied it when Yuan Song called her a coward. And her fear was totally understandable. In these instances it's always the older woman who will be judged harshly. Yuan Song never seemed to take that into consideration because he didn't care what others think. Yet even if she didn't care what other people think too, she still cared about him and did not want to ruin his life or prospects by tying him down to her. On the other hand, I also understood Yuan Song's side. He knew he was committed and had his priorities straight. In terms of talent and professionalism in his career he was already leagues ahead of other people his age. He was also very independent in his personal life, had his own apartment, didn't want to rely on his parents etc...whereas HFX still lived with her parents and was babied by them most of the time. Overall, YS's frustration was very understandable. HFX didn't trust him enough to accept his love and she kept making choices for him which he was capable of himself. He also didn't want to be hidden away. Who does? The whole situation just wasn't fair to either of them.
Luckily their time together made up for the frustrating areas of this drama. These two were seriously cute and their chemistry was on fire! (If you're one of those impatient people who complain about slow-burn, no PDA cdramas, this one doesn't wait long to deliver. It was really refreshing to watch a drama where we start off with them getting together and then watch them work through their relationship, break-up and then find their way back to each other. There was something very raw and intoxicating about this storyline.)
It was nice to see that there were obvious reasons the two of them liked each other as well, besides them just being the leads and being attractive. HFX is young at heart and very inexperienced in love despite her age but her being naive about love I found more endearing than ridiculous somehow. It may be because she also has a long list of amiable qualities on top of being extremely beautiful. She is kind, generous, understanding, elegant, loyal, forgiving, always willing to help anyone, and outspoken/fiery when deserved. And finally she is a good boss, friend, daughter and girlfriend (when she allows herself to be one). So it's completely believable that YS would fall for her. Her biggest flaw...she is NOT good with necklaces lol...Okay, so she had a few more flaws than that but none of them made me hate her. I didn't like the lengths she went to to keep their relationship a secret. Every time she was in a jam and feared getting caught, she would make a terrible decision like pretending to be a maid or making Ye Lu Ming pretend to be her boyfriend because he looked like the better choice. That was just really poor judgement and inconsiderate. Which again proved how inexperienced and immature in dating she was in comparison to YS. That and she does lack emotional intelligence and awareness. Although she is highly aware of how her actions affect others and is timid when not wanting to hurt other people, she really isn't good at reading men's romantic feelings at all. She also falls for YS's ragebaiting time and time again lol But it's clear to the audience that he teases her so much because he wants her attention and finds her innocuous anger cute.
It's actually pretty believable that she's never dated and why she likes YS of all people. Someone as pretty and successful as her must have gotten offers from eligible men her whole life. The reason she never accepted any of them was because she genuinely never liked any of them. Yes, YS is handsome but HFX isn't shallow so good looks alone is not enough for her to commit her heart. She doesn't care about a man with money or power. She falls for YS because he is another rare bird in this world just like her so their connection made sense. He also isn't shallow and could have his pick of pretty girls. But YS and HFX both have similar hearts and personalities. The only issue between them was their ages.
Yuan Song radiates youth when he's being playful but mentally and romantically he is a lot more mature for someone his age. He clearly is the one with more experience in love because he's always coaching her through their relationship, which is funny to watch most of the time. He is even wise and gentle with his words when he rejects Cai Min Min in the beginning, but then stays her friend and continues to handle her gently/gives her good advice from a caring perspective. I also found that the leads are even similar in the way they handled the bad situations that came up. They are both passionate and emotional people but also graceful in their deliveries because of how considerate they both are. And as silly as they both could be at times, they were always mature when it mattered. And I appreciated that none of their conflicts were really that terrible. They didn't do anything to each other that created a moral conflict I couldn't get over like a big lie, betrayal or nasty breakup. I think that also goes back to them just being similar people. At their core they are both very sincere and innocent-minded so it's not in their nature to be spiteful or dishonest. They just worked really well together.
I thought that their break up was sad but a crucial part of the story (hence them "finding themselves" as the title suggests). It gave HFX the space and time she needed to realize that YS was the only person who could make her happy. It sounds crappy but I think she needed to try dating Ye Lu Ming to realize that as well. And Yuan Song needed the time to realize the position HFX was in when they were dating. When he finally did, he tried his best to earn her trust and show her that he wasn't a fair weather lover. I can't even be mad at him when he's trying to get her back from Ye Lu Ming because that was just giving YLM a taste of his own medicine. And I can't be mad at him either when she finally wants him back and he gives her a hard time. By that point, he was the one who had taken all the steps towards her in their relationship. It was her turn to close the distance and prove to him she's not going anywhere.
Ye Lu Ming: I have a love hate relationship for our 2ML. I hated that he was so scheming in the beginning but he was so funny that it made him more bearable somehow. And he really wasn't a terrible person. He was good to his niece and family. And as a friend he was good to HFX when he wasn't scheming. As far as 2MLs go, he was pretty mild and even likable most of the time.
He Can Yang & Cai Gua: As a brother and friend I found him adequate. I liked how protective and caring he was to his sister. Them being twins was definitely believable. And he was funny during all their family moments. But as a love interest he was insufferable to me. He was kind of a pretentious know-it-all, playboy turned hypocrite. In the beginning they set him up as smooth-talker and a heartbreaker but then we are suddenly supposed to believe that he's this innocent, tame guy by the end? I wasn't buying it. He winds up falling for a student with the same age gap his sister has with the ML. But their relationship just seemed shallow, had zero chemistry and gave me the ick. On her own, Cai Gua (Cai Min Min) was earnest, cute and loveable. I found her kind hearted overall but she was delusional and ridiculous in love. She's been spoiled her whole life so she's generally self-centered and irrational in most situations. Ye Lu Ming being her uncle was very believable because they were very similar and entertaining together. If the two of them weren't so funny/theatrical I probably wouldn't like either of their characters at all. Honestly, pairing Cai Gua with Can Yang was just weird and I found their dynamic awkward. And not because I'm being hypocritical and only accepting the age gap between the leads. But the relationship between the leads actually made sense. Yuan Song is mature for his age and values HFX for all of the right reasons and vice versa. There was really nothing in common between Can Yang and Cai Gua. It just seemed like he settled for her because she wore him down by acting shameless and babyish around him. She's definitely not mature for her age or his intellectual equal. Not to mention Cai Gua was in love with ML, and Can Yang's best friend, for the first half of the DRAMA and publicly confessed to him! It just seemed like them getting together was a last minute decision in an attempt to make the leads' relationship more okay? If that makes sense. The only thing I liked about their pairing was that he tried to teach her to value herself more like Yuan Song did as well. I would've preferred if their relationship didn't progress into romance but he became her mentor and coached her into being a more confident, independent person.
Other couples: Her friends relationships were just mildly interesting. I wanted the best for them and they both came out on top in their storylines so I was happy for them. Song Xue I liked a little more because she was smarter and more supportive to everyone around her. I've seen people say they wished Can Yang would've ended up with her but he's honestly not good enough for her.
Other characters: I LOVED her parents. They were funny and youthful themselves. You see how they raised their children with love and consideration rather than pressure. Which may have stunted both of them in maturity but also created too good hearted, unique kids. I was devasted when the father got sick in the end. But at least they showed him still well and functioning in the end even though we know his condition will progress in the future.
HFX's employees were all likable and cute. Cong Xiao irritated me at times but she's harmless and made the right decision in the end so all is forgiven. Just seeing sweet Chang Huan happy was all I needed there.
Final thoughts: I would definitely rewatch this if I need a pick me up! It was sweet, funny and thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. Now one of my top SWL dramas!
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This review may contain spoilers
I found myself Song Wei Long
Find Yourself is strongly recommended, coming from China I've seen a lot of cliche romances and find them a bit too sweet. Now this drama has plenty of sweet moments, but what makes it worthwhile and a payoff is the struggles the main couple has to work through.The chemistry between Song Wei Long and Victoria Song is impressive, especially with the age gap in the drama being real in their lives also. Song Wei Long is really showing off his acting well in emotional scenes, he's sweet, youthful, and is a scene stealer. The man is also very handsome which is something to recommend by itself. Victoria Song is also a really good actress, and the emotional scenes she has she delivers. She's clearly a pro and I'm glad she's in a project like this.
The conflict in the main relationship makes this show interesting. Age gaps are explored in dramas, but it's really the main focus of conflict in this one and I like that. They are at different points in their lives and many people could judge them based off of stigma/prejiduce.
It's important to add that the dynamic is one being 'naive' while the other is more realistic. But in Find Yourself Song Wei Long's character has the development to understand her struggles and at a point he looks past the gap they have because he really loves Fan Xing. I really like how Yuan Song is able to take initiative and show her that he isn't as immature as she thinks at time... talking about a specific elevator scene. I hope to see more scenes like that as Fan Xing needs sometimes to just have moments like that where Yuan Song shows her he really is a man opposed to a colleague or kid.
Overall I love the dynamic, I love the production, Song Wei Long is really hot and Victoria Song is gorgeous
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BLAST OF COMEDY AND ROMANCE ! DON'T THINK JUST WATCH IT!
i want to thank director and story writer for making such amazing drama. this drama has unique comedy and amazing casts. i really loved watching it. This is the best rom com drama to watch. I loved every single character and their acting. omg!! THINGS THAT I DID NOT LIKED IN THIS SERIES:- That this drama is quite long. it can also be amazing drama with 32-36 episodes (STILL I DIDNT REGRETED WATCHING THIS DRAMA) • And the other reason is i skiped many scenes after episode 35 (im still okay with it because of casting and acting). Hope y'all enjoy this drama too and i also hope that review would be helpful for you :))Was this review helpful to you?
When Love Compromises Too Much
This story explores the dynamic between a woman who is already settled in her career and a young man who is about to graduate from college and is just beginning to navigate the real world. Their age gap is ten years, and both characters learn to compromise within an unconventional relationship.I really liked the chemistry between Victoria Song and Song Wei Long, but what became frustrating was the constant push and pull between their characters. Yuan Song was extremely serious about the relationship and felt there was no need to hide it or worry about what others thought, while He Fan Xing was deeply concerned with public opinion. Every time their relationship hit a roadblock, Yuan Song was the one making the compromises. Honestly, if Yuan Song hadn’t been willing to compromise as much as he did, their relationship would have ended before it truly began. It was frustrating how immature He Fan Xing was despite being ten years older, while Yuan Song was realistic in his view of their relationship. The offhanded comments she made caused me to question her emotional intelligence, such as when she said something along the lines of, “You’re still rather young, I’ll just be one of your many milestones in life.” Uh, what? I felt that was extremely disrespectful, and there were times when she made comments that basically suggested a breakup was inevitable. I feel like anyone dating someone who made comments like that wouldn’t have stayed around for long.
I get He Fan Xing’s insecurities, but Yuan Song has never once given her a reason not to trust him or think he would leave her. One of the first things he did when they started dating was set up her fingerprint on his phone. At some point, it’s not really about Yuan Song’s age or maturity. It’s about He Fan Xing’s own issues, and there’s nothing he could do to fix that no matter how much he tries. This was something He Fan Xing had to figure out on her own.
Song Wei Long’s portrayal of Yuan Song was perfect. He captured the character’s mischievous and humorous side effortlessly. My favorite scene was when He Fan Xing’s brother, He Can Yang, found out Yuan Song was dating his sister and confronted him. In that scene, Yuan Song was hilarious even though he was angry. He was overly dramatic, and I really enjoyed every scene featuring Yuan Song and He Can Yang together.
I also didn’t think it was necessary for the story to stretch across forty one episodes. The plot dragged on far longer than it needed to, which weakened the overall impact of the drama. I don’t have the desire to rewatch the drama in its entirety, but I will rewatch my favorite scenes.
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This review may contain spoilers
I will write a little of my review for this drama ...honestly I don't really like the story about the main character in this drama, this drama first gives an interesting beginning story between an independent woman who gets her love with a man who is much younger than her, and yes ... it all starts with things that sweet and cute and adorable and then changed after HFX (the female lead) began to feel fear of the gossip that would befall them because she was dating and fell in love with a man who was much younger than her YS. and the worst thing happened when she had to hide to date YS and then when YS was so brave to announce their status, She instead chose to break up with him, and the most stupid thing that HFX did was She was so happy and enjoyed every moment out with SML, YLM. even admitted him as her boyfriend in front of her friends, taking pictures together. silly .... for a woman who is dating, I read a lot of people blame YLM for stealing someone else's girlfriend ... YLM is wrong but what's more wrong is HFX, she can refuse to do all that but no, she accepts it and even really enjoyed it ....
I do not like the character that is not stable for that, after breaking up then going out with YLM with the reason to try a new relationship (and should not learn self-introspection of a relationship that just broke).
and after dating YLM, even jealous when YS is close to other women ... omg ... I really can't stand this woman's attitude ... and don't even dare to break up with YLM even though she doesn't love him and deceives her own feelings as well as hurting the feelings of others .... and her attitude when trying to catch up YS instead makes me feel she is disgusting after what she did.
the happy ending between HFX and YS actually didn't make a good impression for me, because of the attitude of the female lead that I really can't accept.
I gave a rating of 7.5 for this drama because I felt the stories of other actors besides the main actors like CX and CH, HCY and CMM, and other HFX friends were even more interesting than that ...
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Still love it, even the second time around.
I watched this while it was still airing, and recently rewatched, so I thought I’d write a review while the memory is still fresh.This one is definitely one of my favourites, from main couple to side characters/stories I loved everything and everyone (or hated who should be hated).
I loved the actor choices for all characters honestly, each actor fit their character perfectly.
The story develops quite quickly which is one of the things I liked about this Drama, at the point it starts to slow down the side stories kick in to make our time worth while.
I had and still have one problem with this Drama, and that is the second male lead. The first time I watched, it was because I felt he had too much screen time, causing the main story to pause for quite a while, however, as I rewatched that part didn’t bother me too much anymore, since I didn’t have to wait an entire week only to get an episode that contains more of the second male lead than the actual lead.
However while rewatching I realised how manipulative and unhealthy he and his interactions with the female lead actually were... if that is the definition of a good/ suitable man, then there’s definitely something wrong with society.
Overall I loved how this Drama showed different types and sides of Love and relationships, good parts as well as bad parts.
Definitely watch this, it’s worth the time.
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Major romance is centered around two 32 year old twins. The female lead called fang zin and her twin brother cang yang both falling in love with younger lovers with over 10 year age and how they were able to make the love work despite the the societal pressure from friends , family, neighbors and colleagues.
The male lead was obviously very young and because he looked really young his love for the female lead looked more like a lingering crush, although he did well with romance and skin-ship scenes, they were able to obviously portray that they preferred romance was with him and not luming which is why most viewers will concede to song yuan, however Luming was Obviously realistically capable and older.
The female lead was a bit lacking in character portrayal , she was meant to be an extremely efficient business administrator and acted in that capacity at work, but her trying to speak like she is an idiot in the name of acting cute will probably grate on your nerves, acting innocent and speaking cute was absolutely unnecessary for her age and in trying to make it look like she is new at love , given that song yuan didn’t like his female age mates at school for the same reason.
Canyang the leads make twin brother also really stole the show as he was a really funny character and I don’t think you can get through this drama without his character and that of the energetic and crafty Luming.
This drama had no devious and evil parents against their relationship. All the couple problems were self inflicted because they didn’t act brave for the love they believed in.
I want to see more of characters like canyang and Luming in cdramas, they brought so much comedy and life to their acting that made me finish 41 episodes else I would have dropped this drama because of the cute way Fanxing started trying to speak when she started her relationship with Song Yuan, it really dropped her character value to the regular stupid Typical female leads
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This review may contain spoilers
Infuriatingly Realistic Age Gap Drama
Find Yourself Will Test Your Patience But Make You Think
Find Yourself is an age gap drama that stars Victoria Song and Song Weilong. The story is about He Fanxing, a successful 32-year-old career woman who falls for Yuan Song, a 22-year-old intern at her company. As she navigates this secret relationship, she faces immense pressure from society and family to choose a more "appropriate" partner, leading to a love triangle with an older executive.
This is one of the most infuriating dramas featuring an age gap that you will ever see — and rightfully so, because the themes, the characters, and the situations are all extremely realistic.
In Defense of He Fanxing
I see a lot of hate for the female lead online, but as someone who is also no longer young, I can say with certainty that if a woman somehow missed out on dating in her twenties because she was building her career, she would absolutely act and behave the way He Fanxing does. People who are too preoccupied with working and building their future in their twenties tend to go all out and be silly and irrational in their thirties. I lived through that myself so I can relate a little bit too Victoria Song’s character. She did fairly well portraying a woman falling hard for a man she shouldn’t be falling for, and I did not have any problems with her acting despite what some people say.
Now that I've finished all forty-one episodes, I can say that most of the frustration and hatred toward her character comes from viewers who are probably younger or haven't lived in the same part of the world with the same type of family pressures she deals with. If you put yourself in her shoes, she is actually quite easy to understand. I think a lot of women want her to be a stronger character, but in this particular setting, she didn't need to be. She did what she thought was right for herself, her future, her family, and her reputation. I think a lot of us probably hate her because she reflects how the majority of us would behave if we were dating someone much younger and were put in the same situation.
My One Major Gripe With the Premise
This drama doesn't strike me as romcom-y or suspend-all-your-belief story enough to justify the premise of a thirty-two-year-old highly successful career woman being a virgin. Having no dating experience and never having been with a man are completely different things. I really wish that given the serious tone of the drama, the premise had been a little more realistic — because the drama itself is fairly compelling.
I would have taken the story more seriously if He Fanxing had relationships before, even ones that weren't serious. I wouldn’t mind if she dated, had actual intimate partners, but just never learned how to truly be in a committed relationship possibly because of the demands of her job. Writers really need to stop portraying modern successful women as someone who is waiting for their one true love and saving themselves for that one man. It's an outdated concept, and it was the first thing that didn't sit right with me. I would never believe that a successful woman who is surrounded by men and constantly socializing has never been with a single one. Usually curiosity wins anyway, plus peer pressure.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest — moving on.
Song Weilong as Yuan Song
I previously saw Song Weilong in Shine on Me and thought his acting was pretty stilted at the beginning of that drama, so I wasn't sure I'd like him in Find Yourself. But I was extremely impressed with his performance, considering he filmed this when he was probably around eighteen. I'm also quite surprised at the level of intimacy he was able to pull off with his co-star. His acting was extremely natural and exactly how someone his age would behave. I truly appreciated his effort here, and I think he was probably the highlight of the drama for me.
What to Expect
In the first 10 episodes, things progress pretty fast between Yuan Song and He Fanxing, which I had neutral feelings about — didn't hate it, didn't love it. But the writers set the bar very high for their romance with quite a lot of skinship. So obviously when they break up in the middle of the show and the writers choose for her not to take action earlier than she did, it puts a damper on her romance with Yuan Song because there’s literally not a single kiss until the last episode. This is the kind of romance storyline I hate. Because there is absolutely no tension here. I mentioned this before, and I will mention this again: if you are developing a romantic storyline, it needs to build towards something and not blow up at the beginning and then trickle little by little toward the last episode. You don’t really feel much satisfaction at the end once the romantic storyline concludes despite the conclusion being a happy ending.
I also couldn't entirely understand what attracted Yuan Song to He Fanxing initially. He explains it a little bit later, but I think it would have been beneficial to include that information earlier. However, as I continued watching, I enjoyed how the drama explored the fear and anxiety our female lead experienced due to the possibility of being stigmatized if she told everyone about her relationship with a twenty-two-year-old intern. This right here, if this was set anywhere in the western world, could have been interpreted as abuse of power. It is a huge no-no in the corporate setting where I work at, which in itself makes it a compelling watch.
The drama also makes some valid points toward the end about how women are looked down on for dating someone younger while for men it's perfectly acceptable.
Although the characters in the drama are dynamic, because they do go through transformation they feel static for the most part of the drama. I think that’s another flaw with this drama. Writers should have developed everyone through action instead of lengthy psychoanalysis through conversation with friends.
That said, if you're diving into this drama exclusively for the romance, you will probably be a little disappointed. This is more of a family drama than a romantic one. Yes, there is romance, and yes, we're watching several love and marriage stories develop in different directions — but understand going in that this is not purely a romantic show. A lot of scenes are very drawn out and long, and I'll be honest, I skipped through quite a bit. But some of them are interesting and compelling, and dialogues shed a lot of light on how different characters feel about different things happening in their lives. Some viewers may enjoy this slice of life take.
There are some genuinely fun laugh-out-loud moments though — particularly Esther Yu's character trying to win over He Fanxing's twin brother. Their relationship was extremely cute, and Esther Yu was a delight to watch overall.
Production & Quality
The camera work and production quality are pretty high for something that came out during Covid, which surprised me. The performances across the board are solid, and the side stories are interesting — they make you think about something real. Draggy scenes. Check. This was 2020, after all. Ridiculous premise of a 32 year-old virgin. Check. Uneven pacing for the romantic storyline for both twin brother and twin sister. Check. I wish writers developed both romances differently. Yuan Song and He Fanxing start flaming hot, then crash and burn, and then she spends 2/3 of the drama with another man until the very last episode. Her brother and Melon take half the drama to get together and we don’t even see them sharing a proper romantic kiss.
Final Verdict
If you're into serious sensitive but important topics, interesting family dynamics, and multiple characters with multiple storylines, you'll probably enjoy this. I would say keep an open mind about the main female lead and try to put yourself in her shoes. Yes, she is indecisive and at times unlikable, but I think most of us in her situation would behave exactly the same. If you're watching this for Song Weilong — and I know many of you are — just have some patience with the pacing and know that his performance here is well worth it.
Overall, this is not a bad drama. Find Yourself is a little bit different from typical romantic comedy but the drama does explore interesting and important topics. I say give it a try and if you still don’t like it after a few episodes, don’t bother. I liked certain parts and certain parts were frustrating but overall, I am glad I watched it. It did leave an impression on me.
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