Find Yourself (2020)

Be Prepared For Character Flaws

For this Find Yourself review, I would say that they have done a great job with the casting. It is hard to get a much older woman and younger man pairing that looks good and a pleasure to watch. But Victoria Song and Song Wei Long managed to do it and they did it well enough to make the whole drama highly watchable. They do have good chemistry despite the age gap. I wouldn’t say it is off-the-charts chemistry like those you get in K-dramas such as Her Private Life but it is good enough to make it sweet as needed for a romance drama.

For a young actor, Song Wei Long is certainly someone to watch out for. His good looks help which I’m pretty sure why some fans are driven to watch Find Yourself. In this drama, he does suit the character of Yuan Song very well with his boyish charm and teasing manner. David Wang gives Lu Ming a contrasting style to Song Wei Long’s Yuan Song with his maturity and life experiences so viewers can see the differences in the 2 men. Victoria Song’s portrayal of Fan Xing is a little bit more varied as she needs to portray the maturity of a 32-year-old woman in some scenes and the girlishness of a first time lover in others. I think she handles the different aspects of Fan Xing’s character rather well.

The Plot
Basically, Find Yourself is about the pressures faced by an older woman in a relationship with a much younger man. It explores how society and family members frown upon such relationships and do not expect them to last. So, it is not a rom-com that is heavy on fantasy such as Love The Way You Are but relates closely to the real world.

The relationship between Can Yang and Min Min also adds a great twist to the story. It becomes kind of funny in a way as it is then their turn to hide their relationship from everyone. But it also brings up the issue of hierarchy which is important in a traditional Chinese family. Overall, the plot is realistic and ties closely to modern life problems.

Not The Most Likable Characters
However, if there is one thing that could make you feel put off about this drama, it is the flaws evident in the main characters. Normally, you will root hard for the heroine but Fan Xing is not your typical perfect female lead. She lacks courage and conviction when it comes to loving her younger partner. You can say that she thinks of Yuan Song as a temporary fling as she doesn’t have confidence that their relationship will last. Hence, she has no intention to make their relationship public which is grossly unfair to him.

At the same time, Fan Xing spends a lot of time with Lu Ming and confides her love problems to him. She lets herself to be pushed into a relationship with someone more compatible. While the reasons are understandable, her character is shown to be indecisive and weak at times. She yearns for the love and passion that Yuan Song can give her but she ends up trying a relationship with Lu Ming as he is a more suitable marriage partner. Hence, Fan Xing has her flaws which not every viewer can tolerate.

Lu Ming too is not a sweet savior as he is domineering and cunning. He puts himself in a favorable position as a friend to Fan Xing with the intention to snatch her away from Yuan Song. Well, he is not all bad as a man needs to do what he has to do to get the woman he loves. He is a great uncle to Min Min and he does care for Fan Xing. But again, not everyone will like his character as his actions can also be seen as manipulative.

My Verdict
I am inclined to give a rating of 7.5/10 for this Find Yourself review. It is not as draggy and melodramatic as Here To Heart which helps to up its score. Fan Xing’s relationship with Yuan Song begins very early on in the drama to set the tone for what is to follow. The quick development of their relationship and the subsequent misunderstandings and insecurities she faced take up about half the show. It is not exactly boring but it does take a bit of determination to sit through all that time Fan Xing spends confiding in Lu Ming and being friends with each other. She is in a relationship with a guy but is seen spending a lot of time with another. That is the vibe that I got from the first 20 episodes.

The second half of the drama is better than the first. In the second half, the anticipation builds as to what Fan Xing would do and who she will choose as she considers her parents’ worries and old age. Would she listen to her own heart or go for the man that everyone is saying is the perfect suitor? So, I do recommend a watch for Find Yourself for exploring a topic that is often talked about. Perhaps if they have made Fan Xing more likable and the time she spent with Yuan Song a bit longer than she did with Lu Ming, this would would have gotten a higher rating from me. I guess if you want to watch it, you would have to be prepared for the possibility that the main characters would get on your nerves. Just concentrate on the plot then to enjoy the drama!

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Aggravating Story

SPOILERS.

General Rants:
Something I have grown to hate is the way the FL in these shows completely loses her personality by episode 6. I am also tired of romantic comedies and dramas that spend more time showing the FL with a dude she doesn't really like for a majority of the show or alone due to her family. I would love to see a couple building their relationship for the last few episodes. So many shows don't have them get together until the last episode and it is really disappointing because that is what we are here for, the actual love. (What's wrong with Secretary Kim wins major points for actually having the main love interests on screen together for the majority of the series not just the end.)

Also, I wish shows would stop casting older men in younger roles then trying to make us believe they are in the same age range as the much younger actress. The actor who plays the second male lead is 46 in real life and is playing a 37 year old against a lead actress who is 13 years his junior in real life. Yet the roles cast them as only 5 years older apart, which is not at all believable. He looks 46 which is fine, just cast him closer to his range, because his middle-aged look makes his character's immature behavior even more annoying.

Now on to the show:

Cons: I wanted to like the FL, but the character was portrayed as entirely too naïve just because she hadn't dated before. She is 32 and has a career, she is not an idiot, yet she is manipulated through the whole show as if she were a 12 year old. 3/4 of the show was spent showing her building - and in - a relationship with a sneaky, conniving old looking, rich guy who broke up her relationship the ML. FL lead refuses to see that is manipulating her. True to trope the FL decides everything based on others' opinions and not her own feelings. She breaks up with ML for no reason other than her own insecurity, then begins dating old guy to please everybody else. She puts up with so much crap from old dude that she would never allow from ML. The FL is supposed to be strong & independent but never actually is. She is so worried about her parents' & friends feelings yet has zero problem continually hurting the ML.

Old guy says believes he has a "destined one" but then spends all of the show trying to force and connive his way into a relationship with somebody who is taken. I have seen a lot of reviews acting as if we are supposed to find him admirable and feel bad for him at the end. He stalked this woman and her family and forced his way into her life, this is not the move fellas. It is creepy and I do not understand viewers who find him sympathetic. I had to stop watching when he was on the screen because I found his character so off-putting. The show wasted so much time on this character instead of giving us more of the ML and FL together. The story arc involving old guy should have been 5 episodes max not 30.

Pros: I love the relationship between FL and her twin brother. That is one of my favorite aspects of the show.

The actor who plays the ML is hot and his character is sweet, which is the only reason I kept watching. It would have been nice to see the ML featured more, we don't get to see much of his personality since he was onscreen so little.

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I didn't thought Victoria Song was very good at acting but funnily in this show she acted the best out of all. I am sorry but SWL's acting was bad, he didn't make me feel like he loved the FL or atleast their romance scenes weren't sweet to me. The show however did great in casting both for the older woman-younger man romance drama because SWL does look like a young boy beside Victoria Song. If you talk about plot, it's just like any other younger man falling in love with an older woman show out there now, nothing special. Their relationship does not have any solid foundation as well. Would have given higher ratings if supporting roles have a better story but it is nothing interesting too (also another age gap relationship thing repeated). Still, i think if u are into this kind of genre u can try watching it. Otherwise, there's nothing memorable about this show.

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"Find Yourself" is about how He Fanxing and how she finds love despite trying to fit in with traditional values in terms of age when it comes to marriage. I find this storyline quite interesting because storylines don't usually talk about the age difference when it comes dating.

Story; The story was pretty good, it was quite a calming plot, like there weren't too much happening so you could chill and understand what's going on. The FL character annoyed me a bit because of her "dumbness" and how she can't usually interpret situations. Overall this was a pretty good story because it was quite unique.

Acting/Cast: The cast did amazing! Both the FL and the ML really converted the script into something real and magical. The choices for cast were pretty good too because their appearances really fitted well with the characters they were going to play. Song Weilong seemed like that somewhat rebellious young person that doesn't really know much about life yet well Song Qian seemed quite experienced.

Music: The theme songs were very calming, but I felt like the lyrics were a bit sad and it would've been nice if there was a much more catchier happier tune, but it was alright.

Rewatch value: I personally thought that the scenes with the FL and the SML dragged for a bit. There were also some unnecessary scenes with supporting characters that didn't really affect the FL and the ML. I personally find that the drama is a bit too long, so I won't be very likely rewatching it.

Overall, this is an okay drama because of its uniqueness in plots and the cast were also well chosen. I'm happy to say this is a well produced drama.

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fluff

I loved this drama since episode 1. I was a bit hesitant to watch this at first because nowadays I've been easily distracted and often find myself diverting attention to the drama I'm watching. However this drama is so sweet, fluffy, funny, and emotional on so many levels. It's definitely considered on the lighter side because there aren't any super intense scenes however, it is more on the realistic end as well. There are many societal factors that are subtly addressed throughout the drama. definitely great romance. The scenes are shot incredibly well it made me feel super fluffy inside >< Props to vic I never knew she was such a great actress. This is the first time I'm discovering the male lead and I'm totally in for it. He's not only handsome but plays his part so well???? last time I was so drawn in was for "The Untamed". damn. bravo! well done. I highly highly recommend this drama to all those who are thinking of watching. Please consider! you will not regret.

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I thought I'm now used to watch noona romance so I won't get that feeling of swetness but I have to say that I was completly wrong. This series have everything that I needed to see in a age gap relationship
The things I love most of this drama are :
- Character development
- Main leads amaing chemistry
- Story
- such a comprensive parents "To be honest I don't thinks exist"
- my Goal was watch more the main couple but I also fall for the 2nd teacher x student couple
- the ending was perfect I coudn't ask for more

Now that I finished this drama I feel empty, I wish there where some more episode but one of my sides also thinks those were enough. The romance was one of the best things of this series specially woahh the male lead killed it he was such an amazing actor he's perfomance here was great, he's looks are perfect like handsome, cute, attractive woahh I don't know from where to start.
Another thing that I loved a lot about this drama was that there weren't at all embrassing scenes in the entire show, everything felt so real that I was fully immersed, usually in most of dramas they tend to make the leads pathetic or something missing but for this one hhmmm perfect nothing has been missed to add on it

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must must watch!

At first i dropped the show because i couldnt understand WHY must i watch this show about this woman dating a younger boy like the plot seems so plain.. but i was sooo wrong!
I came back the second time with the intention to see esther yu and zhang yu jian (cai minmin n he canyang)
but slowly i fell more and more for the main cp than them
story:
never like any ive seen before! slightly twisted regarding the family relationship and dating relationship ahahah
i think its just me who caught a few notes of sadness in the story, as in the overall story, it isnt about the couple's love story but instead this show is a life lesson, maybe a love lesson too especially for those who havent had their first love.
i found ye lu ming slightly annoying. its indescribable. he was stealing fanxing from yuan song but yet he loves her so much but at the same time what he is doing is wrong because he is forcing he fan xing to like him and date him and in the end he got mad at her for trying to force herself to like him... so thats kknda annoying... overall i really love the story and all the small funny details about this show, like the sound effects and just all the tiny little details about the show..
acting:
this was produced in the late 2018, song wei long was only 18 if not 19... and his acting is just so natural????? like how...
im a fan of zhang yujian's drama like le coup de foudre and please love me.. he never fails to make me laugh and i relate to his acting/emotions like even before he cried (when his father went missing) i cried already because i sensed that he was so sad and desperate. anyways i love him alott
victoria song, let me just tell u her body figure is sooooo good that im jealous sighh. i wouldnt say her acting is superb but she did great!! i love her drunk acting alot ahah alot of aegyo/撒娇/acting cute. i saw the behind the scenes and everyone had so much chemistry especially the cp and cai minmin cp
music:
i literally just finished the drama 12 minutes ago, im currently listening to the tracklist while writing this because all the songs played in the drama really caught my attention. "Amazing" is my favourite. ( the one that sings in english)
rewatch:
I WILL. when i get onto my rewatch binge during this quarantine until the first of june (now is 23 april) on the lost its eternal love, maybe ashes of love then maybe this. but before all that im gonna watch skate to love. so see you all soon on their review page!!

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Immature FL, cunning, manipulative and annoying SML

I’m on episode 32 of find yourself but I just wanna drop it, I don’t think I can watch it any longer. I’m Only watching it for Song Weilong and the 2nd and 3rd couple. I mean I’m so excited for this show because Song Weilong and Miles Wei in one drama what else can you ask for right? Plus I started liking He Canyang. When I started watching it I’m really looking forward for the FL character cause I thought they would give us a strong and mature female lead since this is a noona drama, but no they didn’t. The ML is right FL was a two timer. Even if we didn’t have any relationship experience how can you be that clueless right? She would go to ML in just one phone call, she would go in her house, she even dated the SML before she sees the ML on a Valentine’s Day. And the person I hate the most in this series is the SML, he is very cunning and manipulative. I hate it more when he acts cute cause it’s so cringey. He is just the same age as the FL dad and it clearly shows no matter how many times they tell us he is 37 years old. And for the love of God they gave the SML more screen time than the ML I have to skip all
Of his scenes starting from a few episodes after I saw how manipulative he was.
P.S let’s not also forgets those professional adults friends that advised the FL to go on another relationship right away to cure heartbreaks?

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Cultural norms and marriage

I really enjoyed my time with the He family as Mrs. He showered her family with love by feeding them. The He parents also allowed their twins, Can Yang and Fan Xing, to having more personal freedom. Even though Mrs. He drops hints about marriage into the conversation, she doesn't actually set her kids up on blind dates.

Fan Xing and Yuan Song's chemistry was great and I was rooting for them from the start. Yuan Song (played Song Wei Long) was pure eye candy but I was also impressed by Wei Long's acting. He displayed a wider range of emotions than he did in Go Ahead, where his kept his emotions restrained. This was my first time seeing Victoria Song in anything, and she played Fan Xing well, going from the emotionally naive woman to the straight manager to the girly girl when she's with her best friends.

I also enjoyed the other couples. Although I'm not a big fan of Esther Yu's character, Cai Min Min, I could see her growth in the series and was rooting for her and Can Yang in the end. Can Yang, played by Zhang Yu Jian, is an immature, fun-loving, professor, This is such a departure from Yu Jian's role in Le Coup de Foudre, where his acting felt more wooden.

Watching this show really made me think about cultural norms, not only about the age differences in the two couple, but also the relationship choices Fan Xing's best friends felt they had to make given their circumstances. There were also questions about marriage: do we marry for love, compatibility, security, a large house, children? I found the romance fun, but I found these questions, which were woven throughout the series, even more compelling.

I watched 1-2 episodes at a time for the first 13 episodes. After that, I binged watched. I really didn't want to stop watching. It was so good! I was a little disappointed about the ending. I really wanted to watch the main couple be together for longer than what we got.

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Sweet romance about an older woman and a younger guy

Likes
1. Super love the OTP couple Fanxing and Yuan Song. In real life i wouldn't agree with this couple because 22yo is too young but in this drama i loved them because they understood each other and became better persons together.
2. The premise is nothing new - do you choose love vs compatibility? 22yo younger immature guy or 37yo older but arrogant guy? But the way they handled the situations and the conversations were so real and relatable.
3. 41 eps were so long but the drama took time to tell everyone's stories and resolve them in the end that 41 felt just right. Though i wished we had 1 or 2 more episodes of OTP moments because there were too little Yuan Song and too much Luming in the second half.
4. Each character had flaws and they all made questionable decisions and mistakes but that's life. Just like Fanxing said about life being like a school test. There are no right or wrong answers.
5. Loved the friendship between Fanxing, Song Xue and Xiaoyu. Through thick or thin they've been there for each other in every joy or pain.
6. I didnt like Cong Xiao at the start but grew to like her and Chang Huan together!

Dislikes
1. I didn't like Ye Luming, he was too arrogant and manipulative of Fanxing from the very start. I wish he genuinely approached her for friendship like the usual second leads. He was right when he said he asked for it. The only time i liked him was when he was there to comfort Fanxing like a real friend when she broke up with Yuan Song. But this show has a way of redeeming the characters so when he finally broke up with Fanxing i actually felt bad for him and wished that he can really find the one.
2. I didn't really like Canyang and Minmin as a couple. Thought they were a mismatch and was going to break up in the end but they didn't. But not bad coz i like Canyang and Minmin slowly became mature.

Rating: 9/10

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Liked: The scenes of Shanghai; the music; the acting by Victoria Song, Wang Yaoqing, and Yang Zhiying; the characters Ye Luming and Wu Yei Min; the friendships between He Fanxing and her buddies and between He Fanxing and Ye Luming; and the way the drama handled the issues with the father. Bonus point: Lots of cute dogs.

Did not like: Any of the romances. The age gap in the two primary romances was exacerbated by the immaturity of the younger half of each couple. Relationships between teacher and student always make me uncomfortable but the one here was made worse by how naive and childlike the student was contrasted against a teacher who was depicted as something of a rake. As for the main couple, I found Yuan Song irritating and selfish. It bothered me, for example, when he pursued He Fanxing then “teased” her about sexual harrassment (that's not funny and is pretty passive aggressive); tried to out her without consulting her first (I’d be ticked off if someone had done that to me, too); and most of all, the way he made her grovel at the end. All of the other relationships (including the parents’) were also problematic in one way or another.

I look forward to the inevitable sequel: Find Yourselves Divorce Lawyers.

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