Chapter 9: 

My Analysis Part 1

Abstract 

A man in white sat in the middle, his face was neither young nor old, he looked about 30 something, but there were a lot of white hairs in his head and he gave off an aura of weathered sadness.

Shi Qi gently set Xiao Liu down and bowed “Your majesty, I am Ye Shi Qi and this is Wen Xiao Liu. His legs are injured so will Your majesty please forgive.”

The Grand Emperor appeared not to have heard Shi Qi and instead stared intently only at Xiao Liu.

Before entering the court, Xiao Liu was very nervous and strangely solemn. But now she appeared totally at ease and smiled at the Grand Emperor and let him stare his fill. After some time, the Grand Emperor waved for Shi Qi to get up.

The Grand Emperor asked Xiao Liu “Who hurt you?”

Xiao Liu smiled and glanced briefly at Zhuan Xu but said nothing. Zhuan Xu turned “It was me. He tried to run away time and time again, so I ordered him punished.”

The Grand Emperor stared at Zhuan Xu and then asked Xiao Liu “Did you have dinner yet?”

“Not yet.”

The Grand Emperor ordered a servant to prepare dinner.

.......
In the entire hall, only Xiao Liu was making loud uncouth noises. Xiao Liu ate and drank like a beast, without any refinement, eschewing utensils and just grabbing things with her hands and letting the juices fly everywhere.
....
A loud sucking and slurping noise wasn’t weird when a lot of people were eating together, but here in the silence of the imperial hall, where even the servants didn’t dare make any noise, Xiao Liu’s sucking was like a thunder loud.

The servants stood immobilized in fear but Shi Qi was silent and calm, continuing to eat his meal, while Zhuan Xu furrowed his brows in disgust.
....
The Grand Emperor stared for a long time at Xiao Liu then asked “What do you like to eat normally?”

“Me? Anything, but I love roasted lamb the most as the main dish.”

“Snacks?”

“Duck neck, chicken feet….” Xiao Liu licked her lips “And goose claws.”

“What kind of flavor? I’ll have the imperial kitchen make it for you. There is still enough time to have it ready for you to eat while listening to stories before bedtime.”

Xiao Liu was silent and stared at the Grand Emperor.
Zhuan Xu’s eyes were filled with confusion and doubt and his hands started shaking, causing the wine to slosh on him but he didn’t even notice and could only stare at Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu suddenly laughed “Whatever flavor is fine, country folks aren’t picky.”

The Grand Emperor said to a retainer “Make one of every flavor.”

Xiao Liut turned to Shi Qi “I’m full, I want to go back and rest.”

Shi Qi bowed to the Grand Emperor and he said to Shi Qi “You take Xiao Liu back.”

Shi Qi picked up Xiao Liu and walked out of the hall. That was when Zhuan Xu stood up and stared at Xiao Liu’s disappearing form...

Grand Emperor Pampering Xiao Liu

We first encountered Grand Emperor here in the novel. In previous chapter the way his palace looks modest is already described. In  here, Grand Emperor neither looking young or old, looking around as 30 age of a human, but the clear fact is that there is sadness in him.
Wen Xiao Liu was surely seemly wanting to annoy him with all those noisy and messy manners. But Grand Emperor was not bothered one bit by that. He even asked her about her favorite dish and flavor and seems to know her well , by revealing about how she likes snacks before bedtime. One could take that it is because she reminds him of someone special. But of course we do know things will be revealing for the rest of the of the chapter.

and then he urgently turned to the Grand Emperor and asked “Master, who is he?”

The Grand Emperor asked back “Who do you think he is?”

“Master wanted me to bring him here and said maybe he was the child of someone close. I thought he could be a son of one of the deceased Five Princes, supposedly one of their wives was a poison master and tried to poison Master before. Xiao Liu is a poison expert, so I thought….. But Master, you just said for him to have a snack while listening to stories before bedtime. Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao……” Zhuan Xu was so scared and excited that his voice was shaking so hard he couldn’t continue “Little sister when she was small she would eat snacks before bedtime while listening to Auntie’s stories. Because she wanted to eat bedtime snacks she wouldn’t even eat her dinner properly. When Auntie chastised her, she would argue back that her Daddy let her eat snacks.”

Compared to Zhuan Xu’s shock, the Grand Emperor remained calm without a ripple “I cannot see through the magic so I don’t so I don’t know who he really is.””

Zhuan Xu sat down wearily on his knees “But Master must suspect?”

The Grand Emperor said nothing and Zhuan Xu bolted up and rushed to the door “I’m going to ask her. I’m going to ask her who she really is, and why she won’t reunite with me.”

“Halt!”

The Grand Emperor’s icy cold voice caused Zhuan Xu to stop and he looked back in confusion “Doesn’t Master want to know? Xiao Yao is your daughter!”

The Grand Emperor’s right hand touched the white bone ring on his left finger and he slowly turned it “Who she is, is not for us to decide. She needs to decide.”

Zhuan Xu didn’t understand but he knew his Master was never wrong so he kneeled down and listened.

“In this world, it’s not only ill intent that causes harm, a lot of harm is caused by love. You want to know who she is, I want to know too. But don’t force her. Give her time to tell us who she is.”

Zhuan Xu shook his head “I don’t understand…..”

The Grand Emperor walked out “You will understand.”

Zhuan Xu finally guessed who Wen Xiao Liu is..

In this part, we see or guessed that Grand Emperor already knew who Wen Xiao Liu was when Zhuan Xu/Cang Xuan was only beginning to realize it. It was clear that Grand Emperor did not want to force Wen Xiao Liu into admiting. It's all up to her, whether she was willing to reunite with him or not. But he's making her feel comfortable.
Grand Emperor also hinted that sometimes not only ill intent that causes harm but also love. Therefore, nothing should be forced. 

Chapter 9

My Analysis Part 2

Abstract 

Zhuan Xu sat there in a daze for a long time before walking out, stumbling like he was drunk as he returned to Hua Yin Court.

Shi Qi and Xiao Liu sat in the corridor leaning against a beam enjoying the cool breeze. Shi Qi had a crystal plate on his leg filled with various fruits (mangosteen, lychee, loquat, longan..and colorful fruits) and he was peeling it and handing it to Xiao Liu.(Additional from Thai ver: Shi Qi peeled off longan handed it to Xiao Liu. Xiao Liu said "No". Shi Qi put longan into his own mouth. Then he peeled off mangosteen, split it into half and then gave it to Xiao Liu. Xiao Liu ate a piece after a piece.)

Seeing Zhuan Xu, Shi Qi politely stood up and bowed but Xiao Liu made no move other than to wave with a wide grin. Zhuan Xu walked over and sat down across from them. Images of all his interactions with Xiao Liu flashed before his eyes.

He ordered her tortured and they ought to hate each other, but she used her body to save his life. He thought she wanted him indebted to her and it was another plot. When Nine-lives Xiang Liu was chasing him, he lost the white fox tail satchel but later he discovered it wasn’t lost and was tucked into his robe.

He was shot in the chest by a Fang Feng family arrow and lured her over thinking that if needs be, he would shoot her as well so that she would go ask Tu Shan Jing for help. But she didn’t even hesitate and went to ask Tu Shan Jing for help and got him the ice crystals.

She planted a voodoo bug in him, supposedly just pain but no life threatening danger. But he didn’t believe her, especially when she made up all sorts of excuses not to remove the bug. He thought she clearly wanted to use the bug to control him. But when she sent word that she removed the bug, and he felt it was gone, he still didn’t really believe that she removed it.

Because Master wanted to see her, he thought she was the descendant of the traitorous Five Princes, that she approached him for nefarious purposes. He hurt her but she always only smiled back at him, without any anger in her smile, and instead there was comfort that he was now able to be so ruthless.

And their nights of drinking, time and time again….. Everything came back to him, and really the truth was so clearly before his eyes but his cold and suspicious heart chose not to see it.

Zhuan Xu looked at Xiao Liu’s legs wrapped up in wooden boards, so clumsy and painful. He reached out towards her legs and Shi Qi thought he wanted to hurt her again so his attack was swift. His finger was like a sword as it shot out but Zhuan Xu didn’t duck like Shi Qi thought he would, in fact Zhuan Xu let the finger blade pierce his arm and the blood came down.

Zhuan Xu’s hand touched Xiao Liu’s leg and he tenderly asked “Does it hurt?”

Xiao Liu turned her head and closed her eyes “No.”

Zhuan Xu had hundreds, thousands of words he wanted to say, tightly wound in his chest so he felt like exploding but he didn’t dare to open his mouth. In the three hundred years since, he was no longer the boy pushing her on the swing under the phoenix tree. Both his parents were dead, he was exiled and had to scrape by under others, he had worn his mask for too long and no longer knew how to feel genuine joy and genuine pain. He learned to manipulate others but forgot to to act with sincerity. He learned to use all sorts of strategy to achieve his goals but forgot how to converse candidly.

Zhuan Xu stood up and said to Shi Qi “Take good care of her.”

Zhuan Xu walked out the door, aimlessly strolling in the darkened night. The flowers in Cheng En Pavilion were in bloom and all sorts of incredible flora was present. The night wind gust blew the petals all around and sent the fragrance billowing. But in this distant land as far as the edge of the ocean, there was no red phoenix flower, the flower that bloomed like sunrise, the flower that looked like flames dancing when it fell.

Shi Qi saw Xiao Liu had her eyes tightly shut, and only after the sound of Zhuan Xu’s departing footsteps faded did the tears tumble down from the corner of her eyes. Shi Qi pulled Xiao Liu into his arms and Xiao Liu buried her face in his chest as her tears fell like the rain.

She once roamed in the deep mountains, drinking blood like an animal; she was once locked in a cage, raised like a pet; she was once chased and she killed many; her life was a lie, it was blood, it was death, everyone lied to her so she didn’t know who to trust, she didn’t know who to be in front of everyone.

Zhuan Xu Recalling The Past

Zhuan Xu finally knew Wen Xiao Liu was his long lost beloved sister, Xiao Yao. He realized that his scheming ability and ruthlessness that made him miss to see the sincerity Wen Xiao Liu showed him when he was Xuan, and saved him two times. He even thought of hurting her to get Tushan Jing to bring the ice crystal to get healed.
Zhuan Xu chose to believe Wen Xiao Liu was the child of on of 5 princes, the sibling and traitors to Grand Emperor. Therefore he treated her roughly in bringing her to Five Gods Mountains. He even broke her legs when he capture her.
So in this chapter, in this scene, finally he cured her with his power but still dare not ask her anything.
It is implied that Wen Xiao Liu smiled to his ruthlessness as she understood he had to be like this for survival. 

Shi Qi's Protectiveness

Up to this scene, chapter 9 does not seem to  give Shi Qi importance. However, we can all notice clearly that he's been taking care of Wen Xiao Liu throughout. He had been carrying her around because her legs hurt. Feeding her fruits( to make her happy) and swiftly attack Zhuan Xu when he thought Zhuan Xu was going to hurt Xiao Liu although he was weak in power. And she did lean in his arms especially when she cried and thought about her past. 

Chapter 9

My Analysis Part 3

Abstract 

The Grand Emperor didn’t summon Xiao Liu often, once every three or four days, and each time he said very little. “What do you like to drink?” “What color do you like?” “What plants?” ‘What…..”

Within Hua Yin Court, his dictates were everywhere, whatever Xiao Liu said she liked it would appear immediately. One time he asked what she liked and she shamelessly said “I like money, it’s even better if I have a mountain of money where I can roll around in.”

The next day when Xiao Liu got up, there was a mountain of money in the courtyard. It wasn’t jewels, it wasn’t jade, it was actually a mound of cold hard coins stacked as high as a mountain.

Seeing this glittering money mountain, Xiao Liu’s face darkened but Zhuan Xu who hadn’t so much as cracked a smile in the last two weeks suddenly burst out laughing. Even the reticent Shi Qi couldn’t help but laugh as well as he said very earnestly to Xiao Liu “Even I’ve never seen this much money before.”

Hearing Zhuan Xu’s laughter, Xiao Liu tossed her crutches aside and flopped on the money mountain and rolled around a few times.

Shi Qi asked “Happy?”

“No, it really hurts.” Xiao Liu laid on top of the money mountain and stubbornly persisted “But at least now I know what it feels like to roll around on a money mountain.”

Zhuan Xu and Shi Qi both laughed.

The servants from then on would always need to walk around the money mountain, and when Shi Qi and Xiao Liu were relaxing in the yard from any angle they could see the money mountain glittering shiny bright.

On a particular moon lit night, Xiao Liu was in the mood and wanted to see the moon, but when she opened the window all she saw was the shiny money mountain. In front of the money mountain, no beauty or beautiful sight could compare. Xiao Liu finally couldn’t take it anymore and said to a servant “Take it away.”

The servant explained “This is His majesty’s order, if young master wants it removed, you need to ask His majesty.”

The next time the Grand Emperor summoned Xiao Liu, it was the first time she spoke first to him “I don’t like the money mountain anymore.”

The Grand Emperor had no expression and slightly nodded his head. Only the very familiar Zhuan Xu could see the twinkle of mirth in the Grand Emperor’s eyes.

After that, Xiao Liu no longer dared to bullshit when the Grand Emperor asked what she liked. She answered honestly, because having something she didn’t like in front of her every day was such a pain

Mount of Money Vs The Moon Light

Grand Emperor was still pampering Wen Xiao Liu and she was still randomly answering his questions of what she wanted. Without thinking much she answered what normally a person would want. Money of course. The way she roll on the money mountain was a fun scene. But yet the mountain made her unable to see the beauty of the moonlight she loved. She realized Grand Emperor was serious with her, so she no longer dare to bullshit with him.

In this particular scene, we could see Grand Emperor was still trying best to make Wen Xiao Liu feel comfortable. It also explained Wen Xiao Liu's love for the beauty of nature/moon more than a lot of money. In other words she is not materialistic but love  the beauty of the world that include moonlight.

Continue Abstract 

Xiao Liu’s legs got better and didn’t need the two crutches anymore. She used one crutch and could walk slowly by herself. She couldn’t sit still so she got bored of just wandering Hua Yin Court. She liked walking at sunset until she was covered in sweat and then she would stop.

Shi Qi would slowly follow behind her.

Xiao Liu nattered “Men love a beauty who doesn’t sweat, but that’s a bad idea to marry one. Life has so many annoyances that upset people and to keep it all inside is bad. To walk around in the sun and sweat it all out, that way a woman can feel relieved and not be so petty. Look at me, lately I’ve been so upset but after walking like this I feel much better.”
Shi Qi looked at Xiao Liu with a smile but said nothing.

"It's best not to marry the woman who do not sweat"
(Different usage of translation from thai ver, but I will still be using Koala ver, because its still the same)

We could see Wen Xiao Liu was feeling more and more comfortable at Grand Emperor's palace. In this certain passage on what she said to Jing/Shi Qi was that avoid marrying woman who are all beautiful  but not like to enjoy outside life but all kept themselves inside to be beautiful and not to get tired with sweat, such woman could be petty. Therefore marry someone like her who enjoy life? I could be wrong. So how do you interpret this passage?

In my personal opinion, Xiao Liu is accepting herself as a woman more and more. Moreover, I have a feeling as if she was indirectly flirting with Jing.

Chapter 9

Part 4

Abstract 

Suddenly there was a sound of a bird calling from above and a large swallow zoomed down from above and landed right next to Xiao Liu. Its body was inching forward and its head was bowed as if it was bowing to Xiao Liu and inviting Xiao Liu to pet its head.

Xiao Liu stepped back and dropped her crutch, her body stumbling.

Shi Qi wanted to go assist her but the Grand Emperor and Zhuan Xu arrived and the Grand Emperor raised his hand and a giant force blocked Shi Qi’s path. Shi Qi could see the swallow didn’t want to hurt Xiao Liu so he didn’t resist and quietly watched.

The swallow saw that Xiao Liu was ignoring it so it cocked its head quizzically and walked towards Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu backed away faster and faster and it walked forward faster and faster. Xiao Liu fell on the ground and the swallow thought Xiao Liu wanted to play with it so it happily called out and started rolling on the ground a few times. It then stretched its neck out and curled up next to Xiao Liu.

Xiao Liu stared at it and the swallow was heartbroken and cried out pitifully. It put its head under Xiao Liu’s hand and whined, clearly it wasn’t going to stop complaining until Xiao Liu paid it attention. Xiao Liu finally reached out her hand and stroked its head.

The swallow flapped its wings and cried out happily in song, its joy evident to everyone watching.

Xiao Liu held the swallow’s body and slowly got up “You thing, how’d you get so fat?” She then raised her head and saw the Grand Emperor and Zhuan Xu staring at her.

Xiao Liu laughed and pointed at the swallow “This fat bird seems to like me a lot, likely it’s a female.”

The Grand Emperor said “I selected this swallow as the winged ride for my eldest daughter Xiao Yao. Xiao Yao slept with it every night when it was still an egg. When it hatched, the first thing it saw was Xiao Yao. She named it Yuan Yuan and every day she would ask when she could ride Yuan Yuan in the skies. I always answered “When both of you are all grown up”. Now Yuan Yuan is all grown up, but Xiao Yao still has not returned.”

Xiao Liu bowed apologetically “I didn’t know it was the Princess’s winged ride, if I insulted it then will Your majesty please forgive.”

The Grand Emperor stared at Xiao Liu and then left with Zhuan Xu without saying a word.

Xiao Liu saw them leave and then walked to rest on a rock with Shi Qi’s assistance. The swallow came over and Xiao Liu patted it “Don’t bother me, you go play by yourself.” The swallow Yuan Yuan crouched pitifully near Xiao Liu for a bit and then flew off.

Xiao Liu rested for a bit and then said to Shi Qi with a smile “Let’s go back.”

(Remark: the bird written in Thai ver is not exact a swallow but it is a bird from Chinese myth, written as Xiwian(เสวียน). It has four wings and has wild rough behavior. It looks like swallow at first but can transform into phoenix with a chicken crest on its head, its legs are like crane's and has a tail like peafowl.)

...

Xiao Liu was soon able to walk without crutches and she walked all over the court but never to the yard anymore. One day, a very hot and muggy Summer day, Shi Qi followed Xiao Liu to Qi Qing Garden and was resting under a tree when Xiao Liu said “This would be a perfect time for an iced melon.”

Shi Qi stood up “I saw some maids icing melons, I’ll go bring some.”

Xiao Liu laughed “I was just mentioning it, let’s wait until we go back.”

“I’ll be back quickly.” Shi Qi took off quickly and Xiao Liu sat down to wait for the iced melon.

Xiao Liu remembered when she was small, she loved playing in the water and often when it was hot out she stayed in the water and refused to come out. Her mom would lure her out with a big plate of iced melon, eating it on land and indicating that she would finish it all if her daughter didn’t come out. She would quickly climb out and run to her mom’s side and open her mouth wide waiting for her mom to feed her a bite.
.......(I am skipping the whole scene of Ah Nian's torture)
Ah Nian saw her mom and immediately forced a smile and asked “Mom, why are you here?”

Xiao Liu kept her head lowered to let the servants hit her, but when she heard what Ah Nian said, her body shook and she wanted to look up but didn’t dare. This woman might not be the Empress, but she was the only woman now in the Grand Emperor’s life. Almost no one in the entire world had ever seen her before, rumors were that the Grand Emperor kept her hidden because she was so beautiful.

Consort Jing An said nothing but Ah Nian called out “Stop!”

Xiao Liu slowly raised her head and in the split second when she saw Consort Jing An’s face, her entire body spasmed with pain and her heart was shattered. She cried out through the muffled shoe in her mouth “Mom, mom……” Her cries was unintelligible but she desperately tried to crawl over and violently struggled to escape the hands of the servants holding her. She desperately reached for the woman wearing blue standing there.

Xiao Liu’s hands were bloody and bruised and the woman was startled and took a step back. Ah Nian quickly held her mother and screamed “Hold on to that lowlife!”

The servants were afraid that Xiao Liu would hurt the Consort and violently pushed her down on the ground but Xiao Liu appeared to be possessed and her strength was shockingly great as she struggled with all her might to grab the Consort.

“Mom, mom…….” Xiao Liu’s mouth was stuffed up and she couldn’t make a sound.

The Consort looked at her like she was a crazed dog and Xiao Liu could only cry and cry and reach her hand towards her. She just wanted to hold her mom, to not let her leave again “Mom, mom….don’t abandon me….”

She wanted to ask why her mom abandoned her so many years ago. You promised to come pick me up, but you left and never returned. Did I do something wrong? No matter what I did wrong, if you tell me then I’ll change! As long as you don’t leave me! Am I really a cursed spawn who should have never been born? Mom, you tell me, why don’t you want me?

When the Grand Emperor and Zhuan Xu rushed over, all they saw was a bloody Xiao Liu being pressed to the ground by servants as she struggled with all her might staring at Consort Jing An, her face streaked with tears, her hands outstretched, begging her not to leave “Mom, mom…..”

The Grand Emperor’s entire body shook and he appeared to be unsteady on his feet.

Zhuan Xu felt his entire head burst open in that very second and he rushed forward like a crazed person. He pushed everyone aside and grabbed Xiao Liu as he cried “Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao, she’s not! She’s not Auntie!”

Zhuan Xu pulled the shoe out of his mouth and crumbled it into ashes. Xiao Liu’s entire body was shaking like a dried leaf “Mom, she’s mom. Gege, I want to ask her why she didn’t want me anymore. Was it because I was being bad? I will be good, I promise I will be good, I will be good…..”

Zhuan Xu’s entire face was buried in Xiao Liu’s shoulder as his tears came down “She’s not Auntie, Auntie already died on the battlefield. She is Consort Jing An, she just looks a lot like Auntie.”

Xiao Liu’s entire body shook and she howled through her tears like a wounded wolf “She said she would come pick me up, she said she would come pick me up. I waited for her for over 70 years! She never came, she didn’t want me anymore! I don’t blame her but I just want to know why…..:

Zhuan Xu tightly embraced her, just like when they were small, when his father died, his mother committed suicide, in those endless dark nights he held her tightly.

Xiao Liu’s cries gradually subsided but her body continued to shake and spasm. She could feel Gege’s tears silently soaking the collar of her robe. He was still like when they were kids, no matter how hurt, he would never let anyone see him cry. Only her. Xiao Liu’s hands slowly reached out and encircled his back and she tightly hugged him back.

The two of them said nothing, just tightly holding each other. They were each other’s comfort, each other’s strength.
....

My Thought

Xiao Liu's memories and past are coming back. 

In chapter 9, it is too obvious that Xiao Liu memories of her being princess and her mother. Especially in I felt she completely felt she was a woman. First she encountered her bird (wing ride purpose) whom she had to be parted with since it's still in its egg. But the bird still recognized her.
Then she remembered how she once played with her mother in this garden.
And then after the torture and meeting Consort Jing An, who exactly look like her mother but not her mother. We can see how much this affected her and how much she missed and longed for her mother. Because she totally lost to act as Wen Xiao Liu. At the moment she was the princess Xiao Yao, her original and former self.
And Zhuan Xu came to embrace her. This is how he reunited with Xiao Yao. We can definetly see their bond was indeed very strong. According to the context, when they were young they supported each other when left alone together by parents and elders. As Xiao Yao (Xiao Liu) hugged him back meaning she's accepting to be his sister again, his accepting his support (and to back in his life to continue support him.)

Chapter 9

Part 5

Abstract 

Xiao Liu rushed into the Grand Emperor’s arms as her tears spilled forth.

The Grand Emperor held his daughter, after three hundred years, after her laughter turned into tears, his daughter was finally home. Xiao Liu said “They say you….you don’t want me anymore. Why didn’t you come to Jade Mountain to pick me up?”

The Grand Emperor patted her on the back “Back then I didn’t pick you up because your five uncles revolted and there was battles to the West and assassinations in the Palace. I was worried I couldn’t handle it alone and you would be injured. So I wanted the Royal Mother to take care of you in Jade Mountain. Wait until I finished ending the revolt then I would pick you up. Who knew you would sneak off the mountain. If I knew this would happen, I would have kept you by my side no matter the danger.”

Xiao Liu asked “Are you really my father?”

The Grand Emperor raised her face and looked directly into her eyes and said with absolute certainty “I am your father! Even if you don’t call me dad, I am always your father!”

Xiao Liu suddenly felt like a dam burst and she was laughing and crying “Daddy…..daddy.”

The Grand Emperor smiled and helped Xiao Liu up and handed her a white handkerchief. She wiped her face but her eyes felt so heavy like she wanted to keep crying, like the tears she had been holding back for hundreds of years needed to come out.

Zhuan Xu was all smiles as he walked over with Shi Qi following behind.

Xiao Liu looked at Shi Qi and felt so guilty “I….I…” wanting to explain but not sure how to say anything.

The Grand Emperor shook his head “He’s a member of the Tu Shan clan of foxes. He’s way smarter than you. Even if initially he didn’t know, he likely long since figured it out.”

Xiao Liu smiled wanly. He’s right, neither the Grand Emperor nor Zhuan Xu were easy going people. For them to endure and be patient for so long, there were very few people in the world that would merit such treatment.

Shi Qi bowed to the Grand Emperor who asked “Tu Shan Jing?”

Shi Qi respectfully answer “It is I.”

The Grand Emperor said very leisurely “I remember you are engaged to the youngest daughter of the Fang Feng family. Or am I mistaken?”

Jing started to sweat and he answered very stiffly “No.”

“No, you aren’t engaged? Or no, I am not mistaken?”

“Yes, Your majesty is not mistaken.”

Xiao Liu couldn’t watch this anymore and said “Dad!”

The Grand Emperor looked at Shi Qi for a long time.

My Thought

Xiao Yao Reunion with Grand Emperor and Tushan Jing
 Xiao Yao was reunited with her dad after her long anxiety. It seems like she was afraid he would not accepted her because he did not came to pick her up at Jade Mountain back then. But both are very happy; father and daughter.
Xiao Yao was guilty that she did not tell her true identity to her Shi Qi before when Shi Qi told her everything about his background. To my personal opinion, she did not tell him because she herself was not sure how things will turn out to be. Besides, I have a feeling she has sort of feeling haunted by her past loss and things that had happened, and still wanted to run away from it. But now everything was well settled.

And then in the next scene when Shi Qi or Jing showed up in front of Grand Emperor. Grand Emperor knew who he is and straight talk of his fiance, Fang Feng Yi Yang. It must be very difficult feeling for Jing. I think Grand Emperor knew what is going on between Jing and his daughter. That's why he brought up this engagement topic to Jing, sort of reminding him. Because Grand Emperor is his Wen Xiao Liu's father, Jing was very nervous and sliped out "No" and had to admit he was. He can't deny his truth. Engagement is something he had to handle.
We all know he wants her, and so was Grand Emperor I guess. 

And then Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao did not want her father to make Jing uncomfortable. Besides she had already agreed to wait for him. 

Chapter 9

Part 6

I will share parts of the novel here and my thoughts in another reply because it is so long. 

Abstract 

It got dark and the maids lit the sconces in the hall. The three leaned on jade pillows and started drinking on the pallet. Shi Qi was silent and Xiao Liu would sneak peeks at him.

Zhuan Xu put down his wine and went to change, but then didn’t return for a long time, clearly to give Xiao Liu and Shi Qi time to talk privately.

Xiao Liu knew Shi Qi guessed her real identity, but seeing with his own eyes is still very different. She knew Shi Qi didn’t want her to be the Grand Emperor’s daughter, the granddaughter of the Yellow Emperor. Just like she didn’t want him to be the son of the Tu Shan clan. But the only thing a person cannot choose is birth.

Xiao Liu said “Whatever you want to ask or say, go right ahead.”

Shi Qi said “Actually, I don’t care who you are. You are just you. Except things have become more and more complicated.”

Xiao Liu raised an eyebrow “What? You scared now?”

Shi Qi smiled “I’ve always been scared. To desire comes worry, to love comes fear. It would be strange not to be scared.”

The Shi Qi under the lamp was so warm, so calm, so peaceful, even Xiao Liu felt her heart warm. She laughed “I don’t understand.”

Shi Qi played with his wine and smiled “What shall I call you from now on? When do I see your real face?”

“My father is the Grand Emperor. My mother is the daughter of the Yellow Emperor, she is the Xuan Yuan Princess. My full name is Gao Xing Jiu Yao. Because my forehead has the birthmark of a peach blossom, my parents gave me the nickname Xiao Yao, from the poem about how the peach blossom is blooming. But for now, you can still call me Xiao Liu.”

Xiao Liu only answered his first question and for the longest time never answered the second.

Zhuan Xu came back and said “Xiao Yao, now there is only the three of us, I want to see your real face.”

Xiao Liu leaned back and looked at the sky, and then she spoke “These past things I’ll only say once. If later on Dad and Grandfather ask about it, then Gege you go tell them!”

Zhuan Xu sat down next to her “Fine!”

Xiao Liu’s voice started “During the final battle between the Xuan Yuan Yellow Emperor and Sheng Nong’s General Qi Yo, my mother died during battle. Before she went to battle, she left me with the Royal Mother in Jade Mountain. I wanted to go home, but year after year I waited and Dad never came to get me. I was very immature then, and the Royal Mother rarely spoke and never smiled, every day forcing me to practice my spiritual powers. I hated her, and one time when Dad had a servant bring a present for me, I hid in the undercarriage and escaped down the mountain. Initially I wanted to hide in the carriage all the way home to Five Gods Mountain, to scare Dad and ask why he didn’t bring me home. I wanted him to tell me that Mom wasn’t dead. On the way home, the two servants were gossiping about me. They said a lot of bad things about my mom and me. They called me a bastard spawn. They said I was so pathetic, wanting to go back to Five Gods Mountain, but my dad would never bring me back. It was his grace that he didn’t have me killed. That was when I learned that my mom actually divorced my dad! She wasn’t my dad’s wife anymore!”

...

“I don’t remember exactly how I felt – despair, disappointment, rage, disbelief – I hated my mom, hated my dad…..my entire head was spinning. When the servants stopped to rest, I snuck away and didn’t know where to go but knew I couldn’t go back to Five Gods Mountain. But that was the only home I knew, I didn’t know where else to go. I followed the way to Yi Zhou because I heard that was where my mom died. I didn’t know what to do and just walked on. Probably because I was so cute, people were nice to me and fed me. One time an uncle let me ride in his carriage and said he was headed the same way. I sat down and he took me to his residence. He was nice to me, told me stories and made me laugh. I felt like Dad didn’t want me anymore so I thought he could be my dad. But one day he tried to take my clothes off, and even though I didn’t understand what was happening, I remembered the Royal Mother saying that a girl cannot take her clothes off randomly. I wasn’t willing so he hit me and I accidentally killed him. I was……” Xiao Liu gestured to the height of an eight year old human girl “Just this tall. I couldn’t believe a person could have so much blood, my clothes were soaked in his blood.”

Zhuan Xu knew now why Master couldn’t find Xiao Yao, she had been hidden away by a human in his residence.

Xiao Liu was cold but didn’t want to move and only curled up to keep telling her past. Shi Qi got up and opened a blanket, lightly covering her with it. He wanted to sit back down but Xiao Liu grabbed his sleeve and Shi Qi sat down next to her.

“Dad and Grandfather made a proclamation to the world looking for me. Many people started looking for me. Some wanted to bring me in for the reward, others wanted to kill me. I saw a little girl my age get killed. Some demons wanted to eat me because rumor was that I was bathed in the holy Yang Valley water when I was born, and live in Jade Mountain for 70 years. The Royal Mother was very harsh with my training but generous with her bounty and I ate whatever treasures were there willy nilly. So rumor was that eating me would increase their power multiple folds. I was afraid and started running and hiding. One time I hid with beggars but the people chasing me had us cornered. I was so scared and dreamed that if I could change my looks, if I was covered with the pox, my eyes crooked, my nose flat, my forehead without the birthmark, then they wouldn’t recognize me. They checked all the kids and when they got to me, I thought I was a goner but they looked at my face and let me go. I didn’t know why until I got to the river and discovered that I changed my face. I transformed into exactly the face I was thinking of. And after trying it time and again, I learned that I not only could change my face, I could change my gender as well. After learning I had this ability, I was rarely in danger.”

Zhuan Xu had so many questions but he didn’t ask and only listened.

Xiao Liu looked at the sky and calmly continued.

“In the beginning I was so excited and changed my face every few days. After a year the people chasing me gradually decreased and I felt safe. I changed my face all the time and traveled the vast wilderness. One day I looked in the mirror and discovered that I forgot what my real face looked like. I desperately tried to remember and reassemble it but nothing looked it. Initially I tried not to be nervous, I knew magic transformation could never destroy the true face. I tried to learn the magic to transform back and discovered that there was no transformation ability quite like mine. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find my real face anymore.”

Xiao Liu closed her eyes “Those days were like an nightmare, my face changing all the time. I walked on the street and a girl walked towards me and if her eyes were pretty and I thought about it, my eyes would become hers. I was so nervous every day, and at night I would worry about it and my face would change even in my dreams so I woke up with a new face. I was constantly changing and every face was a false one. I was too scared to look in the mirror or see anyone. One day I was eating at a restaurant when I heard a girl call grandmother and remembered my grandmothe
r and my face changed and everyone saw it and screamed. I rushed out the restaurant and ran and ran until I ran into the mountains. I hid there seeing no one. I had no mirror and when I washed my face in the river I closed my eyes. If I didn’t look at myself, it didn’t matter what my face turned into because I was still me.”

Shi Qi and Zhuan Xu were both very distressed. They knew Xiao Yao had experienced very bad things, but they never would have imagined that she would lose her face. Everyone envied the Gods for having spiritual powers and could change their forms, but to lose oneself is the biggest nightmare of all.

“I lived like a beast and thanks to the Royal Mother’s harsh training I had pretty decent powers and the normal beasts were no match for me. It was free in the mountains but there was no one to talk to and I was very lonely. But I didn’t dare leave so I started talking to myself. Later I talked to a snake demon in training but it didn’t want to talk to me. I stole its egg so it would chase me every day to kill me. I would run and talk to it. It understood what I was saying but hadn’t developed the ability to talk yet so I would talk for it and converse with myself. My talkative habit was formed there. Day after day, year after year, I didn’t know how much time passed, and it was only later I learned 20 years had passed.”

Zhuan Xu held her hand tightly, as if wanting to give that frightened lonely girl some companionship. He asked with a raspy voice “How did you maintain your face?”

“One day I met a man and he candidly admitted he was a demon and was gravely injured and was seeking medicines. He talked to me so I talked to you. Initially I was very wary so I sat far from him and ran away after a few words. After a long time and I kept testing him, he never expressed any ulterior motive towards me. So I talked more to him and he wasn’t afraid of my changing face. He changed his face and I changed my face and we had a competition and had a great laugh about it. In front of him I didn’t feel like a monster, I didn’t feel scared so I gradually trusted him. One night he caught me and wanted to take me away. The snake demon got mad and wanted to stop him but he killed it. He took me to a far off Southern place where the mountains was tall and perilous. He hid me in a remote cave where he built a nest and a cage to raise me in. He said he was the Nine-tailed fox, a hundred years ago my mother’s………friend cut one of his tails off. He was greatly injured and his powers were severely diminished. Because of my special body, he wanted to raise me for tens of years to become the best medicine.”
Zhuan Xu’s face changed and he pulled out his satchel with the furry white fox tail “Is this his?”

Xiao Liu nodded her head and Zhuan Xu wanted to destroy the white fox tail but Xiao Liu snatched it away and wrapped it around her wrist and continued talking.

“That bastard fox demon hated my mom, and not just because my mom’s………friend injured him. It was also because my mom killed my ninth uncle and he was best friends with my ninth uncle. Whenever he thought of my ninth uncle, he would curse my mom with the most vicious loathsome insults. But mom was dead so he could only torture me. I was raised by him for 30 years, tortured by him for 30 years. One night he said that in two more full moon nights then he could eat me. He sang a sad song and got drunk and didn’t shut the cage completely. I had been devising how to run away for 30 years so I opened the cage and came out and secretly poisoned his drink then snuck back in the cage. He didn’t sense anything odd and the second day I tried to get him drunk by purposely mentioning my ninth uncle. He beat me up and started drinking again and ingested the poison that I developed from all the weird things he had been feeding me. He collapsed on the floor and returned to his true fox form. I climbed out the cage and he opened his eyes and looked at me. I picked up a knife and cut off each of his tails. After I cut off a tail, I would show it to him. His entire fox mouth was covered in blood but in his eyes was the sense of release. He closed his eyes and I lit a fire and burned the entire cave down.”

Xiao Liu picked up the fox tail “He locked me in a cage for 30 years, cursing and torturing me, stripping all my powers developed on Jade Mountain and turned me into a useless person. But he taught me many things. In the mountain it was just the two of us. When he wasn’t having a crazy fit, he explained the various transformation powers to me and gave me a priceless treasure. It was the mirror made from the soul of a mystic gorilla beast that could record the past. He told me to use the mirror to record my face so that if it changed the next day I could use the mirror to change back. Gradually I learned to hold my face and when he took me out occasionally he would teach me how to differentiate between the plants and told me all the various demons and beasts he had killed. He told me all the weaknesses of the various types. In the end when I killed him, when I cut off each of his remaining 8 tails, then he and I ended our vengeance at that time. I’ve long stopped hating him so just keep this tail!”

Xiao Liu handed the tail to Zhuan Xu “The Nine-tailed fox is as rare a beast as the phoenix. I can transform myself so this tail has no use for me. You keep it, in the future you can use it to help you transform and break through mystic enchantments.”

Zhuan Xu tossed it on the ground in disgust “I don’t want it.”

Xiao Liu knew Zhuan Xu was furious right now so pointed to Shi Qi to pick it up. She said to him “That night in the inn when you asked me to show you my true form, I declined not because I was planning to abandon you and disappear forever. It’s because I couldn’t show you my true form. That fox dummy mocked me correctly, if I don’t know what I really look like, how can she transform into me.”

Zhuan Xu was so angry that the anger even rubbed off on Shi Qi who carried the Nine-tailed fox lineage “They say the Nine-tailed fox is adept at transformation, what problem does Xiao Yao have that she can’t return to her true form?”

Shi Qi thought and realized that Xiao Yao’s childhood face was probably already a false one. If she had a false face from the moment she was born, that meant the Grand Emperor and the Xuan Yuan Princess must have used an incredibly powerful magic or the assistance of a magical object to transform the face of an newborn infant who had no powers yet. And do so in a way not to be seen through by others. But why? This inexplicable action must be hiding a huge secret, but one done so they could protect Xiao Yao. Shi Qi slowly said “I don’t know either. You should go ask the Grand Emperor, perhaps he will know why.”

Zhuan Xu was very perplexed and turned to Xiao Liu “I can’t see your true form so I feel like you’re hiding in a shell. I’m scared that if I open the shell, you’ll run away again.”

Xiao Liu teased him “What do you want me to look like? I’ll transform into her for you. You can have whatever little sister you want.”

Zhuan Xu was exasperated and raised his fist “Are you itching for a fight?”

Xiao Liu laughed “I can’t beat you in a fight anymore” then turned to Shi Qi “When we were kids, he could never beat me in a fight.”

Zhuan Xu remembered how all Xiao Yao’s powers were forcibly stripped from her, and the pain she must have endured, and how she would never be able to develop her powers ever again. All his tamped down rage bubbled forth and he couldn’t pretend to be unaffected anymore. He stood up abruptly and rushed towards his room “I’m going to rest.”

Xiao Liu looked at his departing back and murmured “It’s all in the past now.”

Xiao Liu stood up and said to Shi Qi “I’m off to rest as well.”

Shi Qi said to Xiao Liu “Don’t worry, you’ll find your true form.”

Xiao Liu laughed. They all wanted to see what she looked like but the person who most wanted to know what she looked like in this world was herself.

End of chapter 9.

Chapter 9 

Part 6 

My Thought
Running Away from Jade Mountain


We learnt the reason why Xiao Yao ran away from Jade Mountain and did not dare to go back to Five Gods Mountains. It must be really hard for her to accept the fact that her mother involvement with another man. Her parents divorced. She probably did not want to face her father, Grand Emperor. The servants talked badly of her. So that she decided to go find her mother first. She probably could not accept the fact that her mother die in war.

Abused as A Child (Nearly Raped)


She was still a child. Some people found her cute. Some may pity her but some may want to take advantage from her. Such as the man who tried to raped her. I really feel terrible for a kid around 8 years (human age) to have commit such a deed as killing somebody even it meant to defense. It is horrible. 

Face Lost and Wandering


It was after that then she probably got more scared of others. She became lost and despaired. Because she has this peach blossom birth mark inside, her face keep changing. She had no control over it. Because she was still young and not knowing how to use this ability. As a metaphor, I take it as her being lost to who she was because she was not sure who she was at all. So all those hundreds of years, she just wandered around. 

Caged By Nine Tailed Fox And  Revenge

 
The nine tailed fox took revenge on Xiao Yao just because she was the daughter of the a woman who was friend of the one that cut one of his tailed. 30 years in capture, making her eat disgusting things, stripping all her power. It ended with her poisoning him, cutting all his tails off and burning down the whole cave. 

Again very horrible experience. But I am glad how Xiao Yao had strong spirit and soul. I mean she did not give herself completely into horrible way. In fact when she started to entering medical profression it's because of the wrong intention of learning to kill, but she ended up creating more lives by treating infertility in ladies. 

I do love that Jing was there making her warm from cold by putting on blanket onto her. I mean he noticed her being cold. And how she made him to be near her. It is sweet. Jing already could tell Xiao Yao appearance was fake from the start but he's not going to mentioned it because its not the time and he guessed it must be for protecting Xiao Yao. Both Zhuan Xu and Jing  felt so bad for Xiao Yao. But I love how Jing was quick in taking care of her. Zhuan Xu was also affected. He held her too. At the same time he showed disgusted towards those who hurt someone he care. His anger fell upon the furry fox tail. But Xiao Yao was already over with all of her vengeance feelings. 

Chapter 9 Wrapped Up

Part 1

Grand Emperor Pampering Xiao Liu

We first encountered Grand Emperor here in the novel. In previous chapter the way his palace looks modest is already described. In  here, Grand Emperor neither looking young or old, looking around as 30 age of a human, but the clear fact is that there is sadness in him.
Wen Xiao Liu was surely seemly wanting to annoy him with all those noisy and messy manners. But Grand Emperor was not bothered one bit by that. He even asked her about her favorite dish and flavor and seems to know her well , by revealing about how she likes snacks before bedtime. One could take that it is because she reminds him of someone special. But of course we do know things will be revealing for the rest of the of the chapter. 

Zhuan Xu finally guessed who Wen Xiao Liu is..

In this part, we see or guessed that Grand Emperor already knew who Wen Xiao Liu was when Zhuan Xu/Cang Xuan was only beginning to realize it. It was clear that Grand Emperor did not want to force Wen Xiao Liu into admiting. It's all up to her, whether she was willing to reunite with him or not. But he's making her feel comfortable.
Grand Emperor also hinted that sometimes not only ill intent that causes harm but also love. Therefore, nothing should be forced. 

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2923787&page=364#p2923787

Part 2

Zhuan Xu Recalling The Past

Zhuan Xu finally knew Wen Xiao Liu was his long lost beloved sister, Xiao Yao. He realized that his scheming ability and ruthlessness that made him miss to see the sincerity Wen Xiao Liu showed him when he was Xuan, and saved him two times. He even thought of hurting her to get Tushan Jing to bring the ice crystal to get healed.
Zhuan Xu chose to believe Wen Xiao Liu was the child of on of 5 princes, the sibling and traitors to Grand Emperor. Therefore he treated her roughly in bringing her to Five Gods Mountains. He even broke her legs when he capture her.
So in this chapter, in this scene, finally he cured her with his power but still dare not ask her anything.
It is implied that Wen Xiao Liu smiled to his ruthlessness as she understood he had to be like this for survival. 

Shi Qi's Protectiveness

Up to this scene, chapter 9 does not seem to  give Shi Qi importance. However, we can all notice clearly that he's been taking care of Wen Xiao Liu throughout. Feeding her fruits( to make her happy) and swiftly attack Zhuan Xu when he thought Zhuan Xu was going to hurt Xiao Liu although he was weak in power. Anf she did lean in his arms especially when she cried and thought about her past. 

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2923821&page=364#p2923821

Part 3

Mount of Money Vs The Moon Light

Grand Emperor was still pampering Wen Xiao Liu and she was still randomly answering his questions of what she wanted. Without thinking much she answered what normally a person would want. Money of course. The way she roll on the money mountain was a fun scene. But yet the mountain made her unable to see the beauty of the moonlight she loved. She realized Grand Emperor was serious with her, so she no longer dare to bullshit with him. 

In this particular scene, we could see Grand Emperor was still trying best to make Wen Xiao Liu feel comfortable. It also explained Wen Xiao Liu's love for the beauty of nature/moon more than a lot of money. In other words she is not materialistic but love  the beauty of the world that include moonlight. 

"It's best not to marry the woman who do not sweat"
(Different usage of translation from thai ver, but I will still be using Koala ver, because its still the same)

We could see Wen Xiao Liu was feeling more and more comfortable at Grand Emperor's palace. In this certain passage on what she said to Jing/Shi Qi was that avoid marrying woman who are all beautiful  but not like to enjoy outside life but all kept themselves inside to be beautiful and not to get tired with sweat, such woman could be petty. Therefore marry someone like her who enjoy life? I could be wrong. So how do you interpret this passage?

In my personal opinion, Xiao Liu is accepting herself as a woman more and more. Moreover, I have a feeling as if she was indirectly flirting with Jing.

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2924643&page=366#p2924643

Part 4

Xiao Liu's memories and past are coming back. 

In chapter 9, it is too obvious that Xiao Liu memories of her being princess and her mother. Especially in I felt she completely felt she was a woman. First she encountered her bird (wing ride purpose) whom she had to be parted with since it's still in its egg. But the bird still recognized her.
Then she remembered how she once played with her mother in this garden.
And then after the torture and meeting Consort Jing An, who exactly look like her mother but not her mother. We can see how much this affected her and how much she missed and longed for her mother. Because she totally lost to act as Wen Xiao Liu. At the moment she was the princess Xiao Yao, her original and former self.
And Zhuan Xu came to embrace her. This is how he reunited with Xiao Yao. We can definetly see their bond was indeed very strong. According to the context, when they were young they supported each other when left alone together by parents and elders. As Xiao Yao (Xiao Liu) hugged him back meaning she's accepting to be his sister again and to back in his life to continue support him him.

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2925481&page=366#p2925481

Part 5

Xiao Yao Reunion with Grand Emperor and Tushan Jing
 Xiao Yao was reunited with her dad after her long anxiety. It seems like she was afraid he would not accepted her because he did not came to pick her up at Jade Mountain back then. But both are very happy; father and daughter.
Xiao Yao was guilty that she did not tell her true identity to her Shi Qi before when Shi Qi told her everything about his background. To my personal opinion, she did not tell him because she herself was not sure how things will turn out to be. Besides, I have a feeling she has sort of feeling haunted by her past loss and things that had happened, and still wanted to run away from it. But now everything was well settled.

And then in the next scene when Shi Qi or Jing showed up in front of Grand Emperor. Grand Emperor knew who he is and straight talk of his fiance, Fang Feng Yi Yang. It must be very difficult feeling Jing.
Jing wanted to deny it because Grand Emperor is Xiao Liu's father. We all know he wants her. But he could not run away from his truth. And Xiao Liu/Xiao Yao did not want her dad to make him uncomfortable.

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2925489&page=366#p2925489

Part 6
Running Away from Jade Mountain
We learnt the reason why Xiao Yao ran away from Jade Mountain and did not dare to go back to Five Gods Mountains. It must be really hard for her to accept the fact that her mother involvement with another man. Her parents divorced. She probably did not want to face her father, Grand Emperor. The servants talked badly of her. So that she decided to go find her mother first. She probably could not accept the fact that her mother die in war.

Abused as A Child (Nearly Raped)
She was still a child. Some people found her cute. Some may pity her but some may want to take advantage from her. Such as the man who tried to raped her. I really feel terrible for a kid around 8 years (human age) to have commit such a deed as killing somebody even it meant to defense. It is horrible. 

Face Lost and Wandering
It was after that then she probably got more scared of others. She became lost and despaired. Because she has this peach blossom birth mark inside, her face keep changing. She had no control over it. Because she was still young and not knowing how to use this ability. As a metaphor, I take it as her being lost to who she was because she was not sure who she was at all. So all those hundreds of years, she just wandered around. 

Caged By Nine Tailed Fox And  Revenge 
The nine tailed fox took revenge on Xiao Yao just because she was the daughter of the a woman who was friend of the one that cut one of his tailed. 30 years in capture, making her eat disgusting things, stripping all her power. It ended with her poisoning him, cutting all his tails off and burning down the whole cave. 

Again very horrible experience. But I am glad how Xiao Yao had strong spirit and soul. I mean she did not give herself completely into horrible way. In fact when she started to entering medical profression it's because of the wrong intention of learning to kill, but she ended up creating more lives by treating infertility in ladies. 

I do love that Jing was there making her warm from cold by putting on blanket onto her. I mean he noticed her being cold. And how she made him to be near her. It is sweet. Jing already could tell Xiao Yao appearance was fake from the start but he's not going to mentioned it because its not the time and he guessed it must be for protecting Xiao Yao. Both Zhuan Xu and Jing  felt so bad for Xiao Yao. But I love how Jing was quick in taking care of her. Zhuan Xu was also affected. He held her too. At the same time he showed disgusted towards those who hurt someone he care. His anger fell upon the furry fox tail. But Xiao Yao was already over with all of her vengeance feelings. 

https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever-season-2/119991-tushan-jing-and-xiao-yao-here-s-to-a-happily-ever-after?pid=2925533&page=367#p2925533

Wrap Up
Overall chapter 9 focus on Xiao Liu going back to the place which she called home. Her identity is revealed as well as her torturing past. The reason why she had been  wandering for so long. It's really is intriging how her wandering, loss of identity flow together well with her lost of true appearance.
But what really make me delighted is that at the stage of Wen Xiao Liu changing life, from a mere Qing Shui town doctor Wen Xiao Liu, into a Princess of Gao Xing, Jing was there besides her. He also get to witness her reuniting with her brother and father, the other two important men in her life. He was there for her to cried upon and rest in his arms. 

Chapter 9

I will this time only focus on my fav moment in this moment and discuss it 

This take place after we all learn  that Xiao Liu is Xiao n You the daughter of the Grand Emperor  and the "little sister"/cousin of Zhuan Xu. She is now alone with Shin Qin and Zhuan Xu. 

"Shi Qi was silent and Xiao Liu would sneak peeks at him.

Xiao Liu knew Shi Qi guessed her real identity, but seeing with his own eyes is still very different. She knew Shi Qi didn’t want her to be the Grand Emperor’s daughter, the granddaughter of the Yellow Emperor. Just like she didn’t want him to be the son of the Tu Shan clan. But the only thing a person cannot choose is birth.
Xiao Liu said “Whatever you want to ask or say, go right ahead.”
Shi Qi said “Actually, I don’t care who you are. You are just you. Except things have become more and more complicated.”
Xiao Liu raised an eyebrow “What? You scared now?”
Shi Qi smiled “I’ve always been scared. To desire comes worry, to love comes fear. It would be strange not to be scared.”
The Shi Qi under the lamp was so warm, so calm, so peaceful, even Xiao Liu felt her heart warm. She laughed “I don’t understand.
Shi Qi played with his wine and smiled “What shall I call you from now on? When do I see your real face?”
“My father is the Grand Emperor. My mother is the daughter of the Yellow Emperor, she is the Xuan Yuan Princess. My full name is Gao Xing Jiu Yao. Because my forehead has the birthmark of a peach blossom, my parents gave me the nickname Xiao Yao, from the poem about how the peach blossom is blooming. But for now, you can still call me Xiao Liu.”
Xiao Liu only answered his first question and for the longest time never answered the second............

Xiao Liu’s voice started “During the final battle between the Xuan Yuan Yellow Emperor and Sheng Nong’s General Qi Yo, my mother died during battle. Before she went to battle, she left me with the Royal Mother in Jade Mountain. I wanted to go home, but year after year I waited and Dad never came to get me...................................

Shi Qi thought and realized that Xiao Yao’s childhood face was probably already a false one. If she had a false face from the moment she was born, that meant the Grand Emperor and the Xuan Yuan Princess must have used an incredibly powerful magic or the assistance of a magical object to transform the face of an newborn infant who had no powers yet. And do so in a way not to be seen through by others. But why? This inexplicable action must be hiding a huge secret, but one done so they could protect Xiao Yao. Shi Qi slowly said “I don’t know either. You should go ask the Grand Emperor, perhaps he will know why.”............................................................

Xiao Liu knew Zhuan Xu was furious right now so pointed to Shi Qi to pick it up. She said to him “That night in the inn when you asked me to show you my true form, I declined not because I was planning to abandon you and disappear forever. It’s because I couldn’t show you my true form. That fox dummy mocked me correctly, if I don’t know what I really look like, how can she transform into me.

What I like in this chapter is  that we see how much Xiao Yao and Ye Shi Qi kind of parallel each one and she- Xiao Yao - is aware of it.   She understood  why he was quiet since the big revelation and that just like her not wanting him to be the son of the Tu Shan Clan, he did not want her to be the daughter of the Grand Emperor,  the grand daughters of the Yellow emperor.  She is right that we do not choose our birth.  his reply to her shows that  even though he knows that their situation is now getting more complicated, and  that scares him, he is not giving up. I honestly do not get why Xiao Yao does not understand  what he said in "To desire comes worry, to love comes fear". Maybe she does not because her believes her heart closed to love, she is not looking for love but for a partnerlol this will change before she knows it. 

As their conversation progresses we see her Xiao Yao revealing her story to Ye Shi Qi/ Tu Shan  Jing  [ I call him  Jing because he introduced as such to then Grand Emperor :

" Shi Qi bowed to the Grand Emperor who asked “Tu Shan Jing?”
Shi Qi respectfully answer “It is I.”  

Again this show that  Ye Shi Qi and Jing are one and the same.  No offence but anybody believing otherwise really need to read the novel again for at this stage it would be  serious lack of comprehension ]

She told him about her parents, her full name and the reason for her name.  This is something extremely private and she only shared it with  him 1rst.  She did not need to share something so private WITH HIM BUT SHE DID . This shows how much she cares and respect him and want hims to know this important fact about her.  

Zhuan Xu  asked  her to tell him and Jing  about what happened to her. Again Xiao Yao share with them - she could have refused and asked Jing to leave but she did not  -all  that she went through in the past. She told them more than she ever told Xiang Liu.  So when people say that Xiao Yao  shared her story with only Xiang  Liu, they are lying because  that is not true as we can see in this chapter. She shared   her parents divorce, the feeling she had for her mother and father when she felt that they did not want her, she spoke about her near rape, her 1rst  kills,  during her tale, she looked for Shi Qi comfort and morale and emotional support  :

"Zhuan Xu knew now why Master couldn’t find Xiao Yao, she had been hidden away by a human in his residence.
Xiao Liu was cold but didn’t want to move and only curled up to keep telling her past. Shi Qi got up and opened a blanket, lightly covering her with it. He wanted to sit back down but Xiao Liu grabbed his sleeve and Shi Qi sat down next to her."

She told them about her face changing abilities, how she used it  many times,   and when she could nomore remember her own feature.  She told them  of the 9 tails fox in detail and  what he taught her  and the mirror he gave her. 

"He said he was the Nine-tailed fox, a hundred years ago my mother’s………friend cut one of his tails off. He was greatly injured and his powers were severely diminished. Because of my special body, he wanted to raise me for tens of years to become the best medicine.”.........................................When he wasn’t having a crazy fit, he explained the various transformation powers to me and gave me a priceless treasure. It was the mirror made from the soul of a mystic gorilla beast that could record the past. He told me to use the mirror to record my face so that if it changed the next day I could use the mirror to change back. Gradually I learned to hold my face and when he took me out occasionally he would teach me how to differentiate between the plants and told me all the various demons and beasts he had killed. He told me all the weaknesses of the various types. In the end when I killed him, when I cut off each of his remaining 8 tails, then he and I ended our vengeance at that time. I’ve long stopped hating him so just keep this tail!”

It seems to me that the fox knowing  her body was different due to her true parentage( demon and god),  was able to turn her blood into a medicine hence why her blood can heal Xiang Liu and was going to heal the 9 tail fox and make him regain his lost power if she had not killed him.  She shared that  he taught her a lot.  We see that Xiao Yao is able to forgive the 9 tails fox of his time towards her.  How ironic is it that she is now  longing for a 9 tails fox-as long time partner. 

 I was extremely please to see Jing sharp mind he realised that Xiao Yao may never had had her true face  when  she was a child and that her parent must have done this to her when she was born hence the face Zhuan Xu knew of his childhood Xiaonyaomwas not even her true face.  I like that he is caring enough ntom not tell her this so not to worry her. he is considerate enough to tell her to  discuss it with her after.  

And finally the best moment for me is when she tells S Jing that the reason she did not dish him her face when he asked her was not because she did not want to but because she could not.  This is totally different to the reason she  got angry when Xiang Liu brushed the subject of her face.    Xiao Yao is telling him and us the reader that,  had  she been able to,  she would have shown Shi Qi / Jing her true face.   For  Ye Shi Qi/ Tu Shan Jing, Xiao Liu was willing, is sharing all of her story in details.

This is my 2 cents  regarding  chapter 9 

Xiao Liu’s sucking was like a thunder loud.

ahahaha! Tong Hua words are so visuals! I laughed much to this one! :D Xiao Liu and her humor...

(ep.14) 

While CX inner thoughts are........ Ahahahaha!!! <3 I enjoy her clowning side sooo much! Let's never forget this Xiao Yao's side: her humor!  

Chapter 9:

My Analysis Part 1

                                               Literary Analysis with Dialogue Excerpts:

Introduction:

 Chapter 9 - Part 1 introduces the enigmatic Grand Emperor, setting the stage for a complex narrative. Through an exploration of key dialogues, we can unravel the intricacies of character relationships, particularly focusing on the interactions between the Grand Emperor, Xiao Liu, Zhuan Xu, and Shi Qi.

Grand Emperor's Aura and Xiao Liu's Provocative Behavior: Excerpt:

"A man in white sat in the middle, his face was neither young nor old, he looked about 30 something, but there were a lot of white hairs in his head and he gave off an aura of weathered sadness."

Analysis: The Grand Emperor's introduction is marked by a description that hints at both physical age and emotional weight. The dialogue here is non-verbal, conveyed through the narrator's observations, setting the tone for the Grand Emperor's enigmatic persona. Xiao Liu's subsequent disruptive behavior during the dinner serves as a dialogue of actions, a silent challenge to the Grand Emperor.

Grand Emperor's Knowledge and Xiao Liu's Identity: Excerpt:

The Grand Emperor asked Xiao Liu, “Who hurt you?”

Xiao Liu smiled and glanced briefly at Zhuan Xu but said nothing. Zhuan Xu turned “It was me. He tried to run away time and time again, so I ordered him punished.”

Analysis: The Grand Emperor's question about Xiao Liu's injury and her subsequent silence speak volumes. The unspoken exchange between them suggests a level of understanding or familiarity. Zhuan Xu's admission of being the one who caused the injury adds tension to the dialogue, as it hints at a troubled history between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu.

Zhuan Xu's Realization and Grand Emperor's Calm Response: Excerpt:

“I’m going to ask her. I’m going to ask her who she really is, and why she won’t reunite with me.”

“Halt!”

The Grand Emperor’s icy cold voice caused Zhuan Xu to stop and he looked back in confusion “Doesn’t Master want to know? Xiao Yao is your daughter!” 

Analysis: Zhuan Xu's emotional outburst and determination to confront Xiao Liu are reflected in his dialogue. The Grand Emperor's response, delivered with an "icy cold" voice, contrasts with Zhuan Xu's turmoil. The revelation that Xiao Yao might be Zhuan Xu's sister adds a layer of complexity to the dialogue, raising questions about Xiao Liu's true identity.

Shi Qi's Supportive Role: Excerpt:

Shi Qi bowed to the Grand Emperor and he said to Shi Qi “You take Xiao Liu back.”

Analysis: The Grand Emperor's directive to Shi Qi is a brief yet significant dialogue. It signifies the Grand Emperor's trust in Shi Qi and establishes Shi Qi's role as a guardian / caretaker for Xiao Liu. The politeness in Shi Qi's bow emphasizes his respect for authority and his willingness to follow orders.

Speculations and Unveiling Mysteries: Excerpt:

“Master, who is he?”

The Grand Emperor asked back “Who do you think he is?”

Analysis: Zhuan Xu's direct inquiry and the Grand Emperor's counter-question create a dialogue that prompts speculation. The exchange invites readers to participate in the mystery, encouraging them to form their own hypotheses about the identities and relationships of the characters.

Conclusion: 

Through a careful analysis of dialogues in Chapter 9 - Part 1, we gain insights into the characters' emotions, relationships, and the overarching mysteries driving the narrative. Dialogues serve as a powerful tool in conveying tensions and revelations.

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Symbolism of Xiao Liu's Behavior: 

Xiao Liu's disruptive and uncouth behavior during the dinner carries symbolic weight. Her "loud uncouth noises" and messy eating style serve as a rebellion against the formality of the imperial hall. This can be seen as a reflection of Xiao Liu's resistance to societal norms and expectations, possibly stemming from her mysterious background and experiences.

Grand Emperor's Stoicism: 

The Grand Emperor's calm demeanor in the face of Xiao Liu's provocative actions raises questions about his emotional state and self-control. His ability to maintain composure hints at a deep well of experience and wisdom. The "aura of weathered sadness" around him suggests a complex past, adding layers to his character.

Zhuan Xu's Emotional Turmoil:

 Zhuan Xu's emotional journey in this scene is palpable. From the initial shock of recognizing Xiao Liu's potential identity to his desperate desire for answers, Zhuan Xu undergoes a tumultuous emotional experience. His determination to confront Xiao Liu and seek the truth reveals the depth of his emotional investment in her.

Shi Qi's Role as a Mediator: 

Shi Qi's role as the intermediary between Xiao Liu and the Grand Emperor is noteworthy. His calm and composed demeanor during the dinner, despite Xiao Liu's behavior, showcases his ability to navigate complex situations. This role positions Shi Qi as a bridge between the mysterious world of Xiao Liu and the imperial court.

Foreshadowing and Mystery: 

The Grand Emperor's enigmatic responses and the lingering mysteries surrounding Xiao Liu's true identity contribute to the overall sense of anticipation and foreshadowing. The scene sets the stage for revelations and unveils a web of secrets that will likely shape the narrative's trajectory.

Contrast in Dining Etiquette: 

The stark contrast between Xiao Liu's eating habits and the refined manners of the imperial hall's occupants serves as a visual metaphor. This dichotomy may represent Xiao Liu's outsider status and her reluctance to conform to the expectations of the elite. It also underscores the theme of societal norms versus individual authenticity.

Themes of Identity and Choice:

 The central theme of identity and the power of personal choice reverberates throughout the scene. The Grand Emperor's insistence that Xiao Liu must decide her own identity and destiny introduces a philosophical layer to the narrative. It raises questions about agency, self-discovery, and the consequences of one's choices.

Intricacies of Parental Relationships: 

The scene delves into the complexities of familial relationships, particularly between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu. The revelation of Xiao Liu potentially being Zhuan Xu's daughter adds an emotional dimension. The Grand Emperor's insistence on allowing Xiao Liu to decide her familial ties emphasizes the theme of choice even within familial bonds.

Overall Atmosphere:

 The tone of the scene oscillates between tension, mystery, and a touch of melancholy. The silent power play, the weight of unspoken truths, and the unresolved emotions contribute to a rich and multifaceted atmosphere. 

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Bonus: (ep.14) CX  "welcomed moment" by Xiao Liu and Yeshiqi - both expressions are gold:

Contrast in Dining Etiquette:

The stark contrast between Xiao Liu's eating habits and the refined manners of the imperial hall's occupants serves as a visual metaphor. This dichotomy may represent Xiao Liu's outsider status and her reluctance to conform to the expectations of the elite. It also underscores the theme of societal norms versus individual authenticity.

The theme of identity and the power of personal choice has been a central focus in various philosophical traditions, with thinkers exploring the nature of selfhood, free will, and the implications of our choices. While it's challenging to pinpoint a single philosopher or set of words that encapsulate this theme, several notable figures and their philosophical perspectives contribute to our understanding of identity and choice.

Exemples: 

  1. Existentialism - Jean-Paul Sartre:

    • Sartre, a prominent  french existentialist philosopher, argued that existence precedes essence, emphasizing human freedom and the responsibility that comes with it. His famous phrase "existence precedes essence" suggests that individuals are first born into the world without a predetermined essence or identity. Instead, they construct their identities through their choices and actions.

    • Sartre's notion of "bad faith" explores how individuals may avoid taking responsibility for their freedom by conforming to societal expectations and not fully embracing their capacity to choose. In the context of Xiao Liu's situation, the Grand Emperor's insistence on her deciding her own identity aligns with Sartrean existentialist principles.

  2. Personal Identity - John Locke:

    • John Locke, a philosopher of the Enlightenment, discussed personal identity and consciousness. According to Locke, personal identity is tied to consciousness and memory. Individuals are the same person over time if they retain memories of past experiences.

    • Applying Locke's ideas to the scene, Xiao Liu's potential struggle with her identity aligns with Locke's emphasis on memory as a key component of personal identity. The Grand Emperor's encouragement for Xiao Liu to decide her identity recognizes the role of memory and self-awareness in shaping one's sense of self.

  3. Determinism and Free Will - Friedrich Nietzsche:

    • Nietzsche's exploration of eternal recurrence and the will to power delves into the concepts of determinism and free will. While he did not provide a straightforward solution, his writings invite contemplation on the idea of embracing one's existence and choices, even in the face of an eternal return.

    • Xiao Liu's predicament, coupled with the Grand Emperor's insistence on her agency, echoes Nietzschean themes of embracing the weight of one's choices, knowing that they contribute to the continual shaping of one's identity.

  4. Ethics of Care - Nel Noddings:

    • Nel Noddings, a contemporary ethicist, discusses the ethics of care and relational ethics. Her work emphasizes the importance of relationships and caring for others in moral decision-making. Applying this to the scene, the Grand Emperor's approach may align with a caring perspective that allows Xiao Liu the freedom to determine her identity.

    • Noddings' philosophy introduces a softer, more compassionate understanding of moral agency and choice, suggesting that the relationships between individuals play a crucial role in shaping ethical decisions.

While these philosophers may not have directly addressed the specific scenario in the novel, their ideas provide a philosophical backdrop to the themes of identity and choice presented in Chapter 9 - Part 1. The narrative invites readers to contemplate the profound philosophical questions embedded in the characters' struggles and decisions. 

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So, to wich philosophy could  Xiao Liu  and Grand Emperor -fit  mostly?...In my opinion it's Jean Paul Sartre:

- Xiao Liu's character, with her journey of self-discovery and the emphasis on personal choice, aligns closely with existentialist themes. In particular, her situation resonates with the existential philosophy of Jean-Paul Sartre. Sartre's ideas, such as "existence precedes essence" and the importance of individual freedom and responsibility, provide a philosophical lens through which Xiao Liu's character can be viewed.

  • Existentialism - Jean-Paul Sartre:
    • Xiao Liu: Her quest to define her identity, the freedom to make choices, and the existential angst she experiences in confronting her past align with Sartrean existentialist principles. Xiao Liu embodies the existential hero who must grapple with the responsibility of shaping her own identity through her choices.

    • Grand Emperor: The Grand Emperor's approach to Xiao Liu's identity and the emphasis on her making her own choices reflects a Sartrean recognition of individual freedom. By allowing Xiao Liu the agency to determine her identity, the Grand Emperor adopts a perspective that resonates with existentialist themes of personal responsibility.

While Xiao Liu's character leans towards existentialist notions, the Grand Emperor's role aligns with the mentor figure who acknowledges and respects the individual's freedom to shape their identity.

                                                      Jean Paul Sartre and his wife, Simone de Beauvoir

Further : https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Paul_Sartre  + Book Quote: 

Shi Qi's Role as a Mediator:

Shi Qi's role as the intermediary between Xiao Liu and the Grand Emperor is noteworthy. His calm and composed demeanor during the dinner, despite Xiao Liu's behavior, showcases his ability to navigate complex situations. This role positions Shi Qi as a bridge between the mysterious world of Xiao Liu and the imperial court.

Tushan Jing/Yeshiqi as mediator, and   connection between the past and the present, as well as a facilitator for Xiao Liu's journey of self-discovery. He acts as a liaison, enabling communication between Xiao Liu and the Grand Emperor. 

     Extract:        -" Shi Qi bowed to the Grand Emperor and he said to Shi Qi “You take Xiao Liu back.

Also: His calm and composed presence  supports Xiao Liu during her encounters with the Grand Emperor. His assistance and understanding contribute to Xiao Liu's sense of security and trust. As a result, Shi Qi becomes a crucial ally in Xiao Liu's quest to understand her true identity -allowing Xiao Liu to navigate the complexities of her past and present :). 

@Winny Aye: it wasn’t lost and was tucked into his robe.

Part 2, Thank you Winny <3

Summary of this second part:

Zhuan Xu's Realization and Reflection:

  • Zhuan Xu's journey in this chapter is marked by profound realizations and self-reflection. His initial disbelief and shock upon discovering Xiao Liu's true identity as Xiao Yao, his long-lost sister, opens a floodgate of memories. The narrative beautifully captures the complexity of Zhuan Xu's emotions as he grapples with the stark contrast between his past actions and his newfound awareness. His recognition of Xiao Liu's sacrifices and genuine care for him unveils layers of guilt and remorse.

    Philosophical Connection: This part of the narrative aligns with philosophical themes related to self-awareness, redemption, and the consequences of one's actions. It echoes the idea that true growth comes from acknowledging one's mistakes and learning from them.

Shi Qi's Protective Role:

  • Shi Qi emerges as a silent yet potent guardian throughout this chapter. His actions, from carrying Xiao Liu to feeding her fruits, highlight a consistent theme of protection and care. The subtle yet powerful attack on Zhuan Xu when he perceives a threat to Xiao Liu emphasizes Shi Qi's unwavering commitment.

    Symbolic Significance: Shi Qi's protective role symbolizes stability and support. In a chapter marked by emotional turbulence, Shi Qi becomes a steady force, reinforcing the novel's exploration of trust and reliability.

Zhuan Xu's Unspoken Apology:

  • Zhuan Xu's interaction with Xiao Liu showcases a profound yet unspoken apology. His tenderness toward her injured legs and the genuine concern for her well-being serve as a silent acknowledgment of the pain he caused. The blood from Zhuan Xu's self-inflicted wound becomes a symbolic gesture, reflecting the emotional wounds he inflicted upon Xiao Liu.

    Literary Device: This part of the narrative employs poignant imagery and symbolism to convey complex emotions. The blood connecting Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu's legs creates a visual metaphor for shared pain and a tentative bridge toward reconciliation.

Xiao Liu's Emotional Resilience:

  • Xiao Liu's response to Zhuan Xu's tenderness speaks volumes about her emotional resilience. Despite the hardships she endured and Zhuan Xu's past mistreatment, her ability to close her eyes and calmly respond to Zhuan Xu's question about pain suggests a level of forgiveness and acceptance.

    Character Development: Xiao Liu's character undergoes subtle yet significant development. Her past, filled with bloodshed and deception, contrasts with her present vulnerability. The juxtaposition highlights her capacity for growth and adaptation.

Foreshadowing: The mention of the missing red phoenix flower and the absence of Xiao Liu's past sanctuary hints at unresolved mysteries and foreshadows future challenges

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Blood Connection:

 The scene where Zhuan Xu allows Shi Qi's attack to pierce his hand creates a symbolic link between Zhuan Xu and Xiao Liu. This shared blood becomes a metaphor for their intertwined destinies and the emotional wounds that connect them. It symbolizes a link between past actions and a tentative step towards reconciliation. 

Night and Flowers: 

The night setting, with petals swirling in the air, adds an atmospheric touch to Zhuan Xu's introspective walk. The absence of the red phoenix flower, a symbol of Xiao Liu's past sanctuary, reinforces the idea of the  lost innocence and an unattainable ideal he want to reach.

 Character Dynamics:

 Zhuan Xu's Internal Conflict: The internal turmoil within Zhuan Xu is palpable. His inability to express the multitude of emotions reflects a character deeply scarred by his past actions. The contrast between the present Zhuan Xu and the boy pushing Xiao Liu on the swing highlights the transformative impact of the years and the burdens he carries. A symbol to his internal swing.

 Xiao Liu's Emotional Release: Xiao Liu's tears, unleashed only after Zhuan Xu's departure, serve as a cathartic moment. Her emotional vulnerability, hidden behind a façade of strength, exposes the toll her tumultuous life has taken on her. The act of burying her face in Shi Qi's chest symbolizes a rare moment of seeking comfort and solace. 

Themes of Redemption and Forgiveness: 

Zhuan Xu's Unspoken Apology: Zhuan Xu's actions, from tending to Xiao Liu's legs to allowing Shi Qi's attack, can be seen as an unspoken apology. The motif of physical pain, both self-inflicted and directed take a form of redemption, a way to deal with the emotional gaps created by past mistakes. 

Xiao Liu's Forgiveness: Xiao Liu's stoic response to Zhuan Xu's question about pain implies a willingness to forgive. It hints at her understanding of Zhuan Xu's struggles and her capacity for empathy.  

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                                             Emotional Resonance and  CX/TSJ Contrasting Roles in Xiao Liu's Life: 


  1. Zhuan Xu's Internal Turmoil:

    • Haunted by Past Actions: Zhuan Xu's character is marked by internal conflicts stemming from his past actions. The weight of decisions made in the previous chapters, such as ordering Xiao Liu's torture for exemple, lingers heavily on his conscience. This turmoil impedes his ability to openly express emotions.
    • Struggle with Authenticity: Having worn a metaphorical mask for an extended period, Zhuan Xu grapples with authenticity. His years of exile and manipulation have shaped him into a person who, at times, struggles to connect genuinely with others. This internal struggle is evident in his interactions with Xiao Liu.

Extract: - "he had worn his mask for too long and no longer knew how to feel genuine joy and genuine pain. He learned to manipulate others but forgot  to act with sincerity. He learned to use all sorts of strategy to achieve his goals but forgot how to converse candidly.

                                          Zhuan Xu stood up and said to Shi Qi “Take good care of her.”--------------------------------------

    2 .Shi Qi's Present and Tangible Comfort:

  • Physical and Emotional Care: Shi Qi, on the other hand, represents a stark contrast. 

               His actions are immediate, tangible, and rooted in the present. From peeling fruits to offering a                     comforting embrace, Shi Qi provides both physical and emotional care to Xiao Liu. 

****This contrast  highlights the dichotomy between dwelling on past mistakes and addressing present needs.

  • Steadfast Support: Unlike Zhuan Xu's internal conflicts, Shi Qi's support is steadfast and unwavering. His role extends beyond the complexities of political intrigue and historical burdens. In caring for Xiao Liu's immediate well-being, Shi Qi embodies a sense of reliability and constancy in the midst of present chaos.

=> Implications for Xiao Liu's Healing:

  1. Zhuan Xu's in blood apology:

    • Unspoken Apology: Zhuan Xu's actions, such as tending to Xiao Liu's legs and allowing Shi Qi's attack, can be interpreted as an unspoken apology. The physical pain becomes a metaphorical way for Zhuan Xu to convey remorse and seek redemption for past transgressions.  
  2. Shi Qi as a Source of Comfort:

    • Healing in the Present: Shi Qi's role in providing immediate comfort aligns with the theme of healing in the present moment. His gestures go beyond CX symbolic apologies, he is fully focusing on Xiao Liu's current needs. This dynamic introduces the idea that, amidst Zhuan Xu's internal struggles, Shi Qi serves as a tangible source of comfort and stability.

=>Broader Themes of Redemption and Compassion:

  1. Redemption Through Actions:

    • Actions Speak Louder: 

The contrast between Zhuan Xu's internal turmoil and Shi Qi's outward gestures underscores the narrative's exploration of redemption. The narrative suggests that redemption is not solely achieved through introspection but also through tangible actions that address the consequences of one's past.

          2. Compassion as a Healing Force:

                      °     Shi Qi's Compassion: 

Shi Qi's compassion becomes a potent force in Xiao Liu's journey. His ability to offer care and support exemplifies the transformative power of compassion in healing emotional wounds. This theme positions compassion as a vital element in the characters' collective quest for redemption and understanding in the novel.