plor20:Ohhhhh...I have so much to talk about the symbolic meaning of Chi You's home...hopefully when I have time to finish my thoughts the conversation haven't shifted gears.
Interested in reading once you can share :-)
Things have slowed down significantly, we used to average posts in the double digits from the time that I go to bed and wake up the next moring. It will probably pick up again once Season 2 hits so this is actually a good time to catch-up on the reading of the thread :-)
Hey guys I hope you're doing well. After been watching the drama for many times (seriously cannot start another drama , cuz I'm stuck with XL ♡and unfotunately this issue hasn't happened to me in my entire life :I) why don't I find a convincing answer to this Q00
What is XL's intention to have XY transfer the poison bug to his body !?
And another ambiguity which is in the kissing scene did he really helped her to breathe or sth else was going on?
Just saw some cute xiang liu arts. Artists are amazing! ❤ Man, I came for another character but fell hard for him. I thought. maybe this is like another drama, but pretty surprised its much different.
MAJOR SPOILER...
I realized, Xiao yao biggest fear was of being lonely and abandoned. So, what was more important to Xiang liu was that he was there when she was lonely and that he could leave without her feeling abandoned. One of many heartbreaking moments, how desperately Xiang liu try to keep their heartbeating when she was announced dead. Its not like anyone ever understood XL, a poor escaped orphan slave, who suffered harsh life, was always misunderstood just cause he's a demon. Its impossible to forget him. Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever. He is loyalty and love proved to be more worthy than human.
Devlin8:I realized, Xiao yao biggest fear was of being lonely and abandoned. So, what was more important to Xiang liu was that he was there when she was lonely and that he could leave without her feeling abandoned.
Yes, that's precisely why he overshadows all the other characters so much. All the others, including Xiao Yao, are incredibly selfish people. Cang Xuan is a bit better, but still nowhere near the level of selflessness of Xiang Liu.
Sadly, what makes him so special to the viewers/readers is also what many of us consider so infuriating about his character.
Devlin8:He is loyalty and love proved to be more worthy than human.
This. And he's the one everyone considers a monster. :(
Kimiya78:What is XL's intention to have XY transfer the poison bug to his body !?
The text does not provide a definitive answer and there are many different theories.
Personally, I view it on a few levels:
(1) XL wanted to help WXL get the bug out of CX. While the bug was in CX, it was dangerous to WXL in a few ways.
First, people might end up hurting or even killing WXL in an effort to hurt and kill CX through the bug connection (similar to how XL used the connection to stun WXL which in turn stunned CX so that FFYY could try to kill him, but potentially with more harm to WXL in the process).
Second, WXL might hurt herself with her efforts to remove the bug from CX (XL tells her, “If you don’t want to die, then don’t try calling it back. The only solution is to find a way to transfer the bug to another person.”).
Third, if she failed to remove the bug from CX before CX left QS town, he might imprison her / take her away from QS town / start to threaten the people she cared about.
And maybe there were other potential concerns for Lovers' Bugs that weren't planted properly that we don't know about. XL said the bug wasn't planted successfully in CX, but some kind of connection was established. CX did feel WXL's pain through a bug connection. That being the case... if CX was killed while the bug was still in him, maybe that could cause WXL harm? We don't know enough about that type of bug connection (where a limited connection is established but the bug isn't planted successfully) to know what the potential risks were. And XL didn't know that CX and WXL had love in their hearts for each other (even they weren't really aware of it at the time when WXL planted the bug in CX, since they didn't recognize each other), and perhaps there was a reason for XL to worry that the bugs might still end up turning into Heartbreak Bugs? Although I think that last part is unlikely. The bug that was unsuccessfully planted in CX was in him for a fair bit of time. If the bugs hadn't already turned into Heartbreak Bugs by the time XL suggested the transfer, it seems unlikely that they would turn into Heartbreak Bugs later on.
(2) Transferring the bug from CX to XL would allow XL to be closer to, better understand, and better protect WXL.
Once the bug was transferred to XL, he could feel WXL's emotions. That made it easier for XL to understand her. The bug connection also maximized his ability to comfort her when she was lonely or feeling heartache. In addition to knowing about her feelings, he could use the bug connection to make her feel that she was not bearing her difficult emotions alone, and he could speed up her heartbeat to distract her from her heartache.
The bug connection also allowed XL to feel WXL's physical pain, so he would know when she was injured, including when she was injured because she was in danger. Which would allow him to find her and protect her faster. And if she was critically injured to the point of being on the brink of death, he could use the bug connection (in combination with his essential blood and extra lives) to keep her alive.
We know from XL's epilogue that he had consciously appointed himself as WXL/XY's protector. So it would be strange if this aspect of the bug connection (its ability to help him protect WXL) wasn't among his reasons for suggesting and accepting the transfer.
Even if XL already planned to die on the battlefield with the remnant army one day (in the distant future) by the time he accepted the bug transfer (I believe that was always his intention), he might have already known by that point that he could do what he ended up doing in chapter 48 - i.e., he could use one of his extra lives to lure out and kill the bugs, breaking the bug connection without harming XY before his final battle. Meaning that he could tie his life to XY's (by accepting the bug transfer) AND die on the battlefield later (after breaking the bug connection) without putting XY's life at risk.
(3) The bug connection and the debt / promise he extracted from WXL would give XL another tie / excuse (on top of their poison requesting and making relationship) to see WXL and to protect WXL.
For example, in chapter 8 XL goes to Five Gods Mountain and offers to rescue WXL. In that conversation, he reminds WXL that she can't pay back her debt if she's dead. The promise / debt serves as XL's excuse for traveling thousands of miles and taking the risk to offer to try to rescue her.
And in chapter 13, when XL meets XY for the first time after she regains her true form and she tells him that she was planning on pretending to not know him if she ever saw him again, he says that the bug is still in him and asks if she was planning to renege on her promise. The implication being that, while her debt remains unpaid, she is morally obligated to not disappear and never see him again.
(4) No one else was in a better position to accept the bug.
According to XL, it was impossible to just remove the bug from CX and it could only be transferred from CX to someone who met the necessary criteria. We know that the most important criteria (which XL talks about in chapter 48) is that the transfer recipient must willingly accept the bug. The other criteria seems to be that the recipient must have love in their heart for the host (and XL must have been self-aware enough to know that he had love in his heart for WXL by that point) and that the host must have love in their heart for the recipient (and to the extent that this was one of the criteria, I guess XL felt that WXL had the necessary feelings too).
XL would have been well aware of TSJ's feelings for WXL. But even if he thought that TSJ met all the criteria to have the bug be successfully transferred from CX to TSJ, that would be a less ideal outcome for several reasons.
First, TSJ had a target on his back. Hou wanted to be clan leader, and TSJ wasn't willing to kill Hou to take revenge for what Hou had done to him or to protect himself from future danger. And TSJ didn't have multiple lives to spare the way XL did (and since XL sacrificed a life to save XY's life in chapter 22, we know that XL losing one of his lives would not result in XY dying - presumably she would only die if XL lost all nine of his lives while the bugs were still connecting them). If Hou ended up killing TSJ after the bug was transferred to him, that would end up killing WXL too.
Second, TSJ had already shown that he couldn't be trusted to reliably protect WXL, and although he had a decent amount of spiritual power at that point in the story, he didn't have nearly as much spiritual power as XL. In terms of protecting WXL from immediate danger, XL was the better option. And TSJ wouldn't need the bug connection in order to use his other strengths (e.g., his clan's wealth and influence) to continue helping WXL (e.g., by procuring rare and expensive medicine for her after she was injured).
Third, I don't think XL was willing to play cupid for WXL and TSJ at that point in the story. I think that changed around chapter 22, long after the bug transfer decision. Plus... even if things had been different and he had started pushing WLX to be with TSJ much earlier in the story... it would still be very difficult for anyone, XL included, to give up the opportunity to have such a connection to the person you love and such insight into their heart and feelings and to instead give that opportunity to a rival love interest. Especially someone in TSJ's position (engaged to another woman and held back by a gentle heart and family obligations). And if it all worked out, it would likely lead to WXL drifting away from XL and possibly even leaving QS town to go live in Qing Qiu.
And then there would be the whole matter of how to arrange for the bug to be transferred from CX to TSJ... that would likely require a few awkward conversations about why TSJ was a potential candidate (he wasn't a full demon like XL was / he would feel 100% of WXL's pain instead of 1/9th of her pain the way XL would... so why him?). Then WXL would have to agree to make the transfer based on the information she had at the time. Whether she thought the bugs only transferred pain (something she wouldn't want to inflict on TSJ) or XL gave her more details about the true nature of the bugs (possibly making her aware that transferring the bug to TSJ would mean tying their lives and hearts together and exposing her emotions to him), either way I'm not sure WXL would have agreed to transfer the bug to TSJ at that point.
Kimiya78:And another ambiguity which is in the kissing scene did he really helped her to breathe or sth else was going on?
WXL/XY really did need air and XL really did need to pass air to her for her to breathe under water (until his blood made it possible for XY to breathe underwater herself after chapter 22). But I'd say there's more to it than just that.
Early in chapter 7, XL jumps off of Furball (Chubby in the drama) and causes WXL to be stunned / in pain due to the impact when they hit the lake below. Then he waits until she almost drowns before passing air to her and bringing her to the surface. The primary purpose of all of that was to cause CX to be stunned (as he would feel WXL's pain through the bug connection) long enough for FFYY to have a chance to shoot him with an arrow. The near-drowning and air-passing weren't totally necessary for that purpose, which makes one think that XL may have also wanted to seize the opportunity to "kiss" WXL / pass air to him at that time.
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Chapter 7:
The white condor flew to the same lake they once came to. Before the condor could descend, Xiang Liu suddenly grabbed Xiao Liu and vaulted off.
Xiao Liu was stunned and could only grab onto Xiang Liu with a tentacled creature grasp. The wind whistled past and Xiang Liu stared coldly “Shall I use you as a cushion?” Xiao Liu violently shook his head with his eyes full of pleading but Xiang Liu didn’t appear moved. They were descending so fast as if they were going to be smashed to smithereens. Right at the moment before impacting the water, Xiang Liu suddenly turned and flipped Xiao Liu on top.
With a giant plop, the two of them entered the water and a giant wave rose up. Even though Xiang Liu absorbed the brunt of the impact, Xiao Liu was still rocked by the waves and his head was spinning and his entire body ached. Because his limbs were in such pain, he couldn’t grab onto Xiang Liu and his body sank into the depths.
Xiang Liu floated in the water staring as Xiao Liu sank towards the bottom of the lake. Xiao Liu tried to reach out but could grab nothing and his eyes were gradually seeing black. Just as he was about to take his last breath, he felt Xiang Liu embrace him and a pair of cold lips pressed to his and passed air to him.
Xiang Liu held him and they rocketed towards the surface like an arrow. Sprawled on Xiang Liu's shoulder, Xiao Liu coughed violently, gasping for air, his nose and eyes filled with water.
...
Xiao Liu’s mind twirled and he jumped down. “What happened to Xuan?”
Ah Nian turned around. “Gege is injured. The doctor can’t stop the bleeding. Gege asked me to come find you.” Xiao Liu grabbed clothes and put them on as he ran out. He now understood why Xiang Liu came to see him yesterday. It wasn’t for a moonlight heart-to-heart. When he was in so much pain he lost all strength and couldn’t move, the same thing happened to Xuan. But Xuan was well protected, and Xiang Liu was with Xiao Liu. Who could break through the Xuan Yuan guards and harm Xuan?
...
“Last night an assassin came. The guards protected the young master but suddenly an arrow came from the sky when the young master was also suddenly struck with extreme pain. Thank god a servant pushed him aside so the arrow didn’t hit a critical organ. The problem is that it won’t stop bleeding.”
-----
Later in chapter 7, after the bug is transferred from CX to XL, XL and WXL spend time in the ocean evading soldiers from Five Gods Mountain (although it's a very leisurely evasion).
In that scene, XL "kisses" WXL (in the sense that he passes air to WXL) many times, and it seems like it's not a big deal between them.
-----
Chapter 7:
Xiao Liu couldn’t believe it. “The bug is planted into your body? That fast?”
...
But then Xiao Liu didn’t feel anything weird in his body so asked Xiang Liu, “How do you feel?”
Xiang Liu was very calm and looked upward. “I feel like we need to run away now.” The bug summoning could not be done under concealment so it had alerted the guards in Five Gods Mountain. Xiang Liu grabbed Xiao Liu and sank into the ocean and started swimming away from Five Gods Mountain.
All the fish in the ocean came to help and created a maze to block and distract the Gao Xing soldiers and lead them astray. Xiang Liu held Xiao Liu’s hand and swam in the silent eerie bottom of the ocean. Every time Xiao Liu ran out of oxygen, Xiang Liu would pass a breath of air to him.
The bottom of the ocean was more colorful than on land, with fish of any shape and color and lots of strange creatures. Xiao Liu stared at everything with wonder and Xiang Liu did not rush him along.
...
Xiao Liu knew they were being chased by Gao Xing soldiers but never felt in danger. Because Xiang Liu was so calm that it didn’t feel like they were on the run, it felt rather like Xiang Liu was taking him on a stroll through the ocean. They swam for so long underwater but Xiao Liu was really happy and the time didn’t feel long. It wasn’t until they were completely free of the chasing Gao Xing soldiers that Xiang Liu took Xiao Liu up to the surface.
-----
In chapter 13, XL forces XY to choose between death (by drowning) and "kissing" him for air. XY chooses drowning, but XL ends up passing air to her anyway.
Between chapter 13, chapter 14, and chapter 26, three explanations are given for XY's decision.
(1) In the past she could "kiss" XL for air because she was WXL and didn't see herself as a woman. Now that she had regained her female identity as XY, she could no longer behave the same way.
(2) XY was afraid of letting someone like XL into her dreams.
(3) XY was trying to keep her 15 year promise to TSJ.
-----
Chapter 13:
At that moment he sank into the ocean and she entered the water. He grabbed her hand and pulled her down with him.
He held her under water but Xiao Yao knew he wouldn’t kill her but only wanted to torment her so she endured it.
When the final breath was almost gone, Xiao Yao grabbed his hands and pleaded with him but he ignored her and kept swimming underwater. Xiao Yao felt her entire chest was about to explode and her hands no longer had any strength. She let go and Xiang Liu grabbed her around the waist with a smile and pointed to his lips indicating that if she wanted fresh air, she was going to have to get it herself.
Xiao Yao shook her head. In the past, she was Wen Xiao Liu, she never saw herself as a woman. But now, no matter what happened, she couldn’t do it.
Xiang Liu’s smile disappeared and he embraced Xiao Yao and continued to sink deeper.
He stared at Xiao Yao, and Xiao Yao stared at him.
Xiang Liu was descending faster and Xiao Yao realized that faced with a Nine-headed demon who didn’t give a shit about anything, her identity as the Gao Xing Princess couldn’t protect her.
Xiang Liu was sinking even faster and the soft water was filled with such pressure it made Xiao Yao feel like it would rip her to pieces. Her chest was about to explode and her entire body hurt.
Life and death – it was one simple choice.
Their faces were so close, so close their noses were almost touching. All Xiao Yao needed to do was move forward an inch and she would be pressing to his lips.
But…she couldn’t!
Xiao Yao felt all the water rushing into her head. His lips were so close, so close…..and then Xiao Yao lost consciousness and fainted.
Xiang Liu jerked her head forward to his lips and then rocketed to the surface with her.
The two of them broke the surface.
Xiang Liu sat crossed legged on the surface and pulled up the unconscious Xiao Yao and placed her on his leg. He summoned power to his palms and patted her a few times on the back. Xiao Yao coughed and spit out mouthfuls of water. She was gradually regaining consciousness though her entire body was weak and sore and her head was heavy. She couldn’t move, so closed her eyes and rested wearily on Xiang Liu’s lap.
...
Xiao Yao continued pouting and Xiang Liu coldly humphed, and then he suddenly asked, “Why?”
Xiao Yao knew exactly what he was asking – why did she refuse to kiss him and would rather die. She pretended to be clueless. “Why what?”
Xiang Liu grabbed her arm and they started sinking so Xiao Yao yelped, “Oh, I remember, I remember!”
Xiang Liu stared at her and Xiao Yao said, “Because I’m scared.”
“It’s scarier than death?”
Xiao Liu thought about it and finally put it into words. “My Gege, that is Zhuan Xu, he said one night when we were talking that I was still a girl who dreams. So….so….I’m scared that if I’m not careful, you’ll walk into my dreams. And you…..” Xiao Yao shook her head. “You’re someone who is never ever suitable to show up in a young girl’s dreams. That might actually be scarier than death.”
Xiang Liu started chuckling, and it grew louder and louder until he was laughing. He released Xiao Yao and his body drifted away.
Xiao Yao yelled, “Hey…hey….don’t leave me here. If you leave me here, what’ll I do?”
Xiang Liu laughed “Swim back!”
Xiao Yao was in disbelief. “You want me to swim back from here? This is the deep ocean and sea monsters are around. I’ve got very weak powers, any random sea monster can eat me!”
Xiang Liu smiled with a twinkle in his eye. “I’m doing this for your own good. If I’m too tender and considerate with you, I might accidentally enter your dreams and leave you wishing for death. That would be a crime on my part.”
Xiang Liu finished talking and sank into the ocean and disappeared.
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Chapter 14:
“I waited for you all night and thought you weren’t coming.”
Xiao Yao said angrily, “If you thought I wasn’t coming, then why keep waiting?”
Jing didn’t know how to answer. If she didn’t come, then he didn’t know where else to go. In this dark deep place, he once experienced the sweetest happiness, but the one who gave him the happiness was Xiao Liu. It wasn’t this girl before him now. If she took back her promise, he would completely understand.
Xiao Yao got on her knees and faced him, her eyes reflecting her anger. “Do you think waiting all night was hard? You have a fiancee! You step out with her all the time together, and then you find any opportunity to remind me of my promise to you. If you don’t trust me, then why ask me to promise? Let me tell you, last night I tried to keep the promise and almost died!”
Xiao Yao shoved Jing hard. “I don’t want to play anymore. I take back my promise! You scram back to Qing Qiu and go marry Fang Feng Yi Yang!”
Jing didn’t dare do anything back to her but he also didn’t budge. “I won’t marry her. She doesn’t like me so she likely doesn’t want to marry me either.”
Xiao Yao stopped shoving. “I don’t believe it! What reason does she have to not like you?”
...
Jing slowly raised his head and Xiao Yao put her face right in front of his and murmured, “Last night, a man forced me to kiss him, but right now all I want to do is kiss you.” Her lips softly landed on his lips and Jing’s body shook and he darted backwards “No….Xiao Yao.”
...
Jing immediately released her with his face bright red. Xiao Yao chuckled and rested her head on his arm and looked at him. Jing was embarrassed so turned his head slightly “You said just now that you almost died last night, and also said…..”
Xiao Yao waved her hand casually “It’s nonsense, I just said it to scare you.”
-----
Chapter 26:
After some time, Xiao Yao felt the water pressure gently squeezing her. She held her breath until it was almost gone and she pointed to the surface to go up. Xiang Liu grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let her go up.
Xiao Yao furiously stared at him, was he trying to force her…..to do that?
Xiang Liu smiled and pulled Xiao Yao down with him deeper. Xiao Yao’s face was turning blue and white and her brain was fighting with itself – kiss or no kiss?
Back then it was because of her promise to Jing, but now it was all in the past and Jing was married. There was no reason for her to suffer for it anymore and risk her own life… Xiao Yao made her decision and pulled on Xiang Liu’s arm and used it to propel her closer to him.
Xiang Liu stood in the water and smiled at her. Xiao Yao was embarrassed and frustrated and lowered her eyes because she didn’t dare look at him. Right as she was about to kiss Xiang Liu, he suddenly turned his head and avoided her kiss and then started laughing loudly.
Xiao Yao was so embarrassed she decided to just go die! She shook off his hand and didn’t swim upward but instead dove deeper.
Xiang Liu chased behind her and chuckled as he said, “Don’t suffocate yourself to death! Try breathing. I didn’t let you swim up not because I wanted to force you to…..kiss me.” Xiang Liu’s laughter rang out again “It’s because you don’t need to do that anymore.”
Xiao Yao tried breathing and it was just like when she put the fish amethyst in her mouth. She could breathe underwater like fish. Xiao Yao realized that when Xiang Liu gave her his essential soul blood, she gained some of his powers. From now on, she could be like the daughter of the sea and swim in the water in complete freedom.
But at the moment Xiao Yao wasn’t happy about that, but instead was so embarrassed about what she just tried to do that she would rather slam her head in the water and kill herself.
Xiao Yao was so furious she screamed “Xiang Liu, you….you did that on purpose! I hate you!” She finished yelling and realized she was just like Xiang Liu and could now talk underwater.
“I, I can talk!” Xiao Yao was stunned for a moment and then back to being furious “Xiang Liu, I hate you! How dare you keep laughing? If you keep laughing, I’ll….I’ll…..” Xiao Yao couldn’t think of anything she could use to torment him. He played the world and wanted for nothing, the only thing he cared about was the Sheng Nong resistance army, but even if Xiao Yao had ten guts she didn’t dare to use the army to threaten Xiang Liu.
Xiang Liu was still laughing and Xiao Yao was still so mortified and humiliated that she turned and started swimming away, only thinking she never wanted to see Xiang Liu again.
Xiang Liu called out, “Fine, I’ll stop laughing” but his voice was still full of mirth.
Kimiya78:And another ambiguity which is in the kissing scene did he really helped her to breathe or sth else was going on?
He did help her breath, but in the censored film language of costume Cdramas, it is a romantic kiss. If you watch any amount of costume Cdramas, you'll see the air breathing 'kiss' in many of them. That's because 'proper' respectable unmarried people don't kiss, simply because they are attracted. The underwater kiss, the medicine kiss, etc. are ways to circumvent those strictures and progress the romance.
Kimiya78:After been watching the drama for many times (seriously cannot start another drama , cuz I'm stuck with XL ♡and unfotunately this issue hasn't happened to me in my entire life :I)
I totally understand. I'm new to Cdramas, but after watching LYF, I couldn't move one and watch anything else. It took me a while to finish up the dramas I had dropped when I started watching LYF. Even now, I don't watch as many shows, when I can rewatch LYF clips or some other Tan Jian Ci show. lol
Kimiya78:What is XL's intention to have XY transfer the poison bug to his body !?
As AH said, there are a variety of theories and I don't think there's a single reason or intention, but a combination. I'm may be in the minority, but here are some of my thoughts on his initial reasons for accepting the Love Bug.
1) It was a test for both him and her. XY is supposed to be the first woman he loved. He doesn't know what love feels like (or really how to deal with it). He also doesn't know what it feels like to be loved, or if XY loves him. But if the Lovers Bug will transfer to him, then he will know what they are both feeling is love.
2) He had grown to like what he felt with XY and spending time with her and he could see a future where they could make each other happy. I don't think XL had always planned to die with his men. Accepting the Love Bug was a confession, and a commitment to tying his life to hers. In a way, it was like a marriage vow.
3) XY had raised the Love Bug for him, and he knows it belongs to him. In a story where poison was a symbol of their love, the Love Bug was the ultimate proof of their love. Throughout the story, both the audience and XY can see how XL's attitude softens when she gives him poison.
4) It was to protect her from the screw up of the unsuccessful planting of the Love Bug in CX and allowed him to kill CX without harm to XY.
Devlin8:I realized, Xiao yao biggest fear was of being lonely and abandoned. So, what was more important to Xiang liu was that he was there when she was lonely and that he could leave without her feeling abandoned. One of many heartbreaking moments, how desperately Xiang liu try to keep their heartbeating when she was announced dead. Its not like anyone ever understood XL, a poor escaped orphan slave, who suffered harsh life, was always misunderstood just cause he's a demon. Its impossible to forget him. Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever. He is loyalty and love proved to be more worthy than human.
I agree. I'm so glad you picked up on what XL was attempting to do once WXL became the princess XY and rejected him. We go back and forth on exactly when XY decided he was going to have to leave her, but his interactions with XY in the later half were pretty much driven by that.
Like others I wished XL had saved at least one of his lives for himself, but I do accept the choice he made in the end. sniff
And welcome to the thread!
Kimiya78:What is XL's intention to have XY transfer the poison bug to his body !?
Around New Year, there were some discussion about this from some of us I looked up and found some (@Blabla100, @Kokuto, @HeadInThe Clouds and @H19279). Many points are in common with the post by @AH above . (the link of the post is attached with the account name)
Kimiya78:And another ambiguity which is in the kissing scene did he really helped her to breathe or sth else was going on?
I guess that you mean the kiss scene in Qing Shui Town when XL threw WXL from flying Furball into the water.
The primary purpose of his action is to pass air to WXL. But there might be other purpose.
Right after that scene when they talked about the bug, XL already gave WXL signal that he could move the bug to him although he made it sound not so serious offer. This means that by this point XL was sure that his feeling for WXL was love. There was a theory that XL used the circumstance when WXL was almost drown to take the last test of his feeling for WXL.
1. If he had been ruthless enough and had not loved WXL, he could have let WXL drown. Thus he could have killed CX. We all know that he rescued WXL at the last breath. He could not see her dying thus, he could confirm that he really loved her.
2. Only when WXL was back to woman form, she considered underwater passing air is a kiss. I don't think that the passing air in QS town or during the excursion after planting the bug in Gao Xing was as passionate as shown in the drama. In the drama, it looked as if XL seized the chance to kiss unconscious WXL. However, in the book, WXL was conscious and he knew and felt XL's lip contact and passing air. Maybe XL did not need to take it as a chance to kiss her
Xiang Liu floated in the water and watched coldly as he sank to the bottom of the lake.
Xiaoliu tried his best to reach out, but couldn't grab anything. His eyes gradually darkened. Just as he exhaled his last breath and water poured into his mouth and nose, he felt Xiang Liu hugging him again, and his cold lips were pressed against his, giving him a breath of relief.
Xiang Liu led him upward like an arrow and rushed out of the water quickly. (Chapter 7- Google translate)
And during 10 hours tour at the bottom of the sea after moving the bugs, XL passed air to WXL repeatedly whenever his breath was about to expire. So, it was more than 20 nowaday hours; if we assumed that WXL could hold the breath for 3 min then XL passed air to WXL about 400 times. In chapter 6 when both of them were injured and XL bit WXL to suck blood, CX felt arousal since he felt that WXL got bitten but then as if got licked and kissed. So XL "kissed" WXL in the pool caused the arousal but the underwater air-passing "kiss" in both occasion did not cause the same effect. WXL could only feel/regard it normally when XL's air-passing action was not so passionate as depicted in the drama.
AH :(1) In the past she could "kiss" XL for air because she was WXL and didn't see herself as a woman. Now that she had regained her female identity as XY, she could no longer behave the same way.
(2) XY was afraid of letting someone like XL into her dreams.
AH :Xiao Yao felt all the water rushing into her head. His lips were so close, so close…..and then Xiao Yao lost consciousness and fainted.
Xiang Liu jerked her head forward to his lips and then rocketed to the surface with her.
There is loss of oppotunity for XY and for reader to understand her feeling with his "air-passing" kiss when she had more awareness of her feeling to him and when he was so furious (thus his rational thinking and supression would be lower and he might express his true feeling more)
H19279:The word 知音 was actually used in both drama and the novel. 知己 is synonym of 知音.
Thanks @H19279 and @AH for the discussion on these two words. Zhiji is more commonly seen if you watch any Chinese series, while zhiyin is a bit rarer. I want to add a little bit to this discussion.
With time, maybe zhiji and zhiyin start to be used interchangeably - language is incredibly dynamic - however, they didn't start as synonymous. There is a Vietnamese proverb (bad translation incoming :-)) - "In 100 years it's difficult to find a zhiji, it's difficult to meet a zhiyin, it's difficult to be acquainted with a kind friend ". Through this proverb, we can see that they are two different ideas. By the same token, they are also different from the idea of a "friend". Zhiyin and zhiji tend to go together and are seen as highly desirable to have.
@AH already posted the story of Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi that demonstrated the idea of zhiyin. The story that I often came across that illustrated the idea of zhiji is Bao Shuya and Guan Zhong. Guan was reported to have said: "My parents gave birth to me, but it is Bao who knows me best." https://english.news.cn/20220107/6c390fa34bd74b42be0d16c5c5b638b1/c.html
The difficulty with translating these terms is not just the limitation of the English language, but also trying to capture the cultural ideas that are embedded behind these terms. One of the links that @AH provided talked about the importance of "knowing/understanding" in Chinese culture vs. the Western ideas of romantic love being the highest form of relationship etc.
If you've watched enough CDramas then you would have come across examples of two people (usually 2 men) who are each other zhiji. These people may be married, but often it's their zhiji who "knows" them even better than their spouses. Zhiji can also be used between a man and a woman, usually with extra prefixes added. In Vietnamese, it's "hồng nhan tri kỷ". Trị kỷ = zhiji and hồng nhan translates roughly to "rouge appearance" to denote that the zhiji is a woman. In Bu Bu Jin Xin, 13th prince referred to his lover, Luwu as his "hồng nhan tri kỷ".
My understanding of these words is that zhiji is someone who knows you - you're personality, why you do what you do, your strengths and weaknesses. Zhiyin, on the other hand, has more of an emotional aspect - someone who is emotionally attuned to you. I think it comes from the idea that music can convey a person's inner thoughts/emotions - if someone feels down and is burdened with worries, the music they play will convey this turmoil vs. when they feel happy etc. Much like Ziqi can hear from Boya's music when he's contemplating a majestic mountain or river.
In LYF, the poisons that XY made each contain her thoughts, mood and emotions. When XL consume them, not only is he appreciating her talent as only he, her zhiyin in this can, metaphorically, he can also understand her thoughts, mood and emotions. It's another way that they are emotionally attuned besides the connection provided by the Lover Bugs.
Zhiji and zhiyin don't have to be romantic relationships, but they also don't preclude romantic relationships. If your partner is also your zhiji and zhiyin then you have hit the jackpot. Like Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji in The Untamed who found all three in each other :-). I think soulmate is a perfectly valid way to translate these terms, other posters have pointed out that soulmate is not exclusively about romantic love. Having someone who understands you on a soul-deep level without the need for words is a pretty apt way of thinking about these terms.
HeadInTheClouds:The story that I often came across that illustrated the idea of zhiji is Bao Shuya and Guan Zhong. Guan was reported to have said: "My parents gave birth to me, but it is Bao who knows me best." https://english.news.cn/20220107/6c390fa34bd74b42be0d16c5c5b638b1/c.html
Thank you for sharing this! Totally see the parallels with WWX and LWJ.
HeadInTheClouds:Zhiji and zhiyin doesn't have to be romantic relationship, but they also doesn't preclude romantic relationship. If your partner is also your zhiji and zhiyin then you have hit the jackpot. Like Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji in The Untamed who found all three in each other :-)
<3
Devlin8:Broken, injured and tired, XL never got time to heal, neither got freedom to live for himself ever.
I don't quite agree with this. I take a great deal of comfort in knowing that there were points in his life when XL did have time to heal, time to live for himself, and freedom, and that his choice to join the remnant army, to stay with them, to die with them, and to be WXL/XY's temporary companion before that end were all choices that he made freely.
When he was injured by a whirlpool after escaping from the slave death match arena, Gong Gong saved him. XL stabbed Gong Gong but Gong Gong didn't blame him, and taught him a special healing technique. Gong Gong planned to take XL to the Flame Emperor (revered for his contributions to medicine) for additional healing, but XL didn't trust him and ran away.
To escape his pursuers, XL ran all the way to the far north. There he continued to use the healing technique that Gong Gong taught him, and developed it into his own snow / ice-based fighting style. During his time in the far north, XL got into the habit of wearing all-white for camouflage / survival. XL stayed in the far north for over 100 years before crossing paths with the original FFB.
As he promised the original FFB (in exchange for the opportunity to consume FFB's body and spiritual power), XL then went to the Fang Feng family residence and spent four years caring for FFB's dying mother there. According to XL, those years gave XL the opportunity to experience the unconditional love of a mother. Even after FFB's mother passed, XL spent approximately 100 years as FFB before he re-united with Gong Gong. That's 100 years of the life that XY wished for him - a life as FFB without any burdens or ties to the Sheng Nong remnant army.
When XL went to the Sheng Nong remnant army, XL originally planned to simply pay back his debt to Gong Gong. But he and Gong Gong ended up becoming so close that Gong Gong adopted XL as his own son. After that, XL remained with the Sheng Nong remnant army out of affection and true loyalty, rather than a mere obligation to repay a debt.
With his fellow soldiers, XL developed a deep loyalty and camaraderie. XL tells XY that, in addition to Gong Gong, his fellow soldiers were part of the reason he chose to stay with the remnant army, and that he never forgot a single one of his fallen comrades. The novel doesn't show us much of XL interacting with other soldiers who are currently fighting with the Sheng Nong remnant army (beyond him worrying about them and diligently working to procure medicine for them in chapter 5), but we are given some insight into that side of XL through his interactions with the one-armed veteran, who XL describes as an old friend. The two of them drank together and spoke about fallen soldiers that they both knew. The one-armed veteran mentioned that XL had visited his donkey-meat restaurant hundreds of times before he brought XY there.
After the bet he made with XY about giving hope to Left Ear, XL went and watched seven of Left Ear's matches over the next 40 years, giving Left Ear renewed hope with each visit. XL got to see Left Ear win his freedom and escape from the slave death match arena. And then, in chapter 43, his prompting ensured that Left Ear would become XY's bodyguard, which meant that XY would be safer but also that Left Ear would have someone to guide and care for him. Left Ear reminded XY of a young XL, and XL likely saw much of himself in Left Ear too. I like to think that XL would have taken some satisfaction and comfort from the role he played in giving Left Ear a better life.
We don't know how long Furball has been with XL, but they clearly both care about each other. When XL faced off against the seagull demon and Left Ear in chapter 43, he didn't consider the odds to be two against one. He viewed the odds as two against two, because Furball was on his side. Furball bore witness to all of XL's choices and the full extent of his sacrifices. Just as Ah Heng, Lie Yang and Sir Bi cared deeply for each other even when Sir Bi (a winged fox demon) had not yet achieved a human form, XL and Furball seem to care deeply about each other and are loyal to one another throughout the novel.
We also see that XL has an ongoing friendly acquaintanceship with Sir Bi of Jade Mountain. The two respect one another and enjoy drinking together every time XL visits Jade Mountain. Between his life as FFB and his life as XL, we don't know how many such friends and acquaintances XL had. Over several centuries, I imagine he had several that we (the readers) never have the opportunity to meet in the novel.
Choices
XL had freedom and no burdens as FFB, but chose to go to Gong Gong at a time when the rest of the world was abandoning Gong Gong. Over the next 300 years, XL more than paid back his debt to Gong Gong. He could have left the remnant army, but chose to stay with them to the end. XL knew that XY's bug was a Lovers' Bug when he suggested and accepted its transfer, and willingly (wholeheartedly!) accepted it with that knowledge. XL chose to approach XY as FFB, and told her from the beginning that their companionship would be temporary. In chapter 22, XL chose to wake up XY in time for her to save TSJ and to send her to TSJ without meeting her when she woke up. In the next few chapters, XL chose to push XY towards TSJ. In chapter 25, XL chose to stop giving XY archery lessons (telling her that she had graduated). In chapter 31, XL received XY's ice crystal ball, but chose to ignore its message and to not to go see her when she waited for him on the shore by Five Gods Mountain. In chapter 32, XL chose to make a deal with TSJ, to stop XY's wedding in the manner that he did, to "kill" FFB, and to treat XY harshly. In chapter 43, XL chose to hide his true reasons for saving XY's life. In chapter 46, he chose to push XY to cut ties with him. In chapter 48, XL chose to hide his involvement in saving XY's life and breaking the bug connection between them. He also chose to hide his involvement in saving TSJ's life, and in making the big-bellied laughing doll. He chose to erase the memories of him that XY saved in her mirror. And he chose to die on the battlefield with the remnant army in their final stand.
Relationships
XL experienced the unconditional love of a mother. He developed a bond of loyalty and affection with Gong Gong strong enough that they chose to formalize it and to become each other's adoptive father and son. XL's sense of affection, loyalty and camaraderie with Gong Gong and his fellow soldiers was so strong that he chose to live and die with them. With XY, he not only experienced a deep and selfless love, but also the rare and precious experience of meeting a zhi yin (知音). He had friends (like the one-armed veteran) and friendly acquaintances (like Sir Bi). He helped Left Ear, and in his 600+ years he probably had many more unique and valuable relationships that we never get to see in the novel.
Experiences
XL does not only live in his role as a cold and stoic solider. When living as FFB, he maintains FFB's reputation as a rake. He drinks, gambles, and frequents dancing halls - and leaves with beautiful women. He was no monk. And when XY comes along, he takes XY out exploring and hiking. They practice archery together, visit dance halls and gambling dens together, go shopping together, and share countless meals together. When XL is FFB, it's like he has taken off his armor and shed the burdens of the remnant army.
Even when he is XL, he is someone who appreciates the world's beauty and pleasures, and takes pleasure in sharing them with another special person. In chapter 4, XL takes XY to appreciate the spectacular beauty of the moon rising over the vast ocean. In chapter 7 and chapter 26, XL spends a great deal of time with XY in the ocean as she explores and marvels at its wonders and beauty. Unlike humans and deities, XL can hear the merpeople's song - the most beautiful sound in the world. And after his blood transforms her, XY can hear it too.
And throughout much of the novel, XL receives XY's poisons. Over time those poisons become much more elaborate and beautiful, and XY puts her longing and emotions into them. They are a constant reminder that he is in her thoughts, and, in a way, they are almost tokens of love. None more so than XY's final poison creation: the ice crystal ball. XL was the only person in the world who could fully appreciate XY's poison creations, and clearly took pleasure in receiving them.
Overall
In parts of his life, XL did experience a great deal of loneliness and suffering. He also made many selfless choices, and some of those choices caused him to suffer further. But he also had many deep and meaningful experiences and relationships. In many cases, experiences and relationships that most people never have the chance to experience in their lifetime. In some ways, his life was very rich and full. And through his choices he exercised an extraordinary amount of control over his own fate.
As XY said, "One time he told me, “Actually, to a General, the best ending is dying on the battlefield.” So he chose for himself the best ending!" Even though XY thought he was an idiot for making that choice and she (and many readers) wished that he had chosen a different end for himself, I personally take the view that XL was probably very satisfied with his ending. He put so much effort into planning his ending and the things he left behind (and didn't leave behind) for XY. And then he put so much effort into executing that plan, and it seemed like it all went the way he wanted it to go. That part gives me a lot of comfort, and is probably the main thing that led me to eventually view the novel ending as satisfying.
Today, I finally finished translating the Forward to my edition of Lost You Forever...and in comparing to Kaola version, it looks like a lot of things were changed.
My version: In the beginning, when the universe was in chaos, Emperor Pang Gu split open primordial energy and created the world. At that time, the gods, humans, and demon races existed together between heaven and earth, in an era where the distance between the realms was not far. Humans inhabited the land, while the gods dwelled on the heavenly mountains. Humans could traverse the stairways of heaven to mingle with gods. Emperor Pang Gu had three subordinates, beloved like his own siblings. The most powerful god among them was a woman, whose name is lost in time. Several thousand years ago, she created the civilization of Huaxu and is known only by that name. Of the pair of male gods, one is named Shennong, the protector of the Central Plains and peacekeeper of the directions. The other is named Gaoxing, the shield of the east, overseeing the sun, Valley of Tang, and the ten thousand waters of Yan Gui Xu. After the death of Emperor Pang Gu, the flames of war ignited. Hua Xu attempted to quell the bloodshed. Disgusted by warfare, she retreated far away and soon founded the peaceful nation of Hua Xu. Later generations will remember her not for the reasons of her country but for her son and daughter, Fuxi and Nuwa. Fuxi and Nuwa are both equally powerful, filled with goodness and righteousness. In the oncoming years, they will both rise to heroic measures, protecting against war and conflict. Quietly, the scars of the wilderness healed, and peace returned where life slowly began again. Soon after, Fuxi and Nuwa were crowned emperor and empress. With Fuxi’s passing, Nuwa was overcome with unfathomable sadness. She returned to the nation of Hua Xu, and her existence, life, and death became a mystery. The descendants of Fuxi and Nuwa would fall from grace, never to be heard from. To the west of the wilderness, a small god clan called Xuan Yuan had a leader who began to rise in power. As time passed, Xuan Yuan’s rise rivaled the ancient civilization of Shennong, both competing with Gaoxing. Three powerful god civilizations split evenly under the heavens: in the Central Plains is Shennong, to the southeast is Gaoxing, and to the northwest is Xuan Yuan. The Shennong Emperor experimented with herbs, testing them on himself, in an attempt find a cure to rid common people of their sufferings. He was worshiped by thousands and revered as the ancestor of medicine. His passing disrupted and caused an imbalance to the three superpowers. Courageous and ambitious, the Xuan Yuan Emperor was well respected and supported. Shortly, the harmonious Shennong fell into hardships, alongside the Central Plains. Together, with conflicts and suffering to no end, another dilemma will soon arise. The civilizations of Shennong and Xuan Yuan will face many hardships stemming from strife. Gradually, working towards peace, all conflict ceases quietly, dormant like a volcano, awaiting to erupt. | Koala's: At the dawn of time, when the universe was just formless chaos, the world had only one ruler. That was the Great Emperor Pan Gu, who opened the Heavens and created the world itself. At that time, the distance between Heaven and Earth was much closer. Humans lived on Earth and the Gods lived on the Heavenly Mountains. Humans could travel on a sky stair to reach the Gods. The Humans, the Gods, and the Demons all co-existed together in the world. The Great Emperor Pan Gu had three subordinates that he was as close as siblings with. The one with the greatest spiritual power was a woman, but the time was so long ago that her name no longer can be found. Only known is that she created the Hua Xu Kingdom, so the people called her Hua Xu. The other two subordinates were men, one was named Sheng Nong and was stationed in the Middle Plains to ensure peace from all four reaches, and the other was named Gao Xing and was stationed to the East to protect where the sun rose the Holy Yang Valley and the Eye of the East Gui Xu. After the Great Emperor Pan Gu passed, the world descended into fiery conflict and endless warfare. Hua Xu tired of the endless battle and left for the far reaches to create the peaceful and harmonious Hua Xu Kingdom. But what made her live on through the legends was not her Hua Xu Kingdom, but her two children - her son Fu Yi and her daughter Nü Wa. Fu Yi and Nü Wa were brave and just, subduing all the heroes of the world willingly and ending the warfare. They were crowned Emperor Fu Yi and Empress Nü Wa. They brought peace to the bruised and battered vast wilderness, and gradually life began anew again. After thousands of years, Emperor Fu Yi passed and Empress Nu Wa was devastated. She left for the Hua Xu Kingdom and was never seen again. What happened to her remained a mystery and the Fu Yi and Nü Wa tribes slowly lost prominence. With the downturn of the Fu Yi tribe, the Sheng Nong tribe in the Middle Plains and the Gao Xing tribe in the Southeast rose to be the two great powers. On the surface both abided by the pacted signed before Emperor Fu Yi and Empress Nu Wa to never attack each other, but deep down each was bursting with ambition to devour the other. In the Northwest area of the vast wilderness, there was a unassuming mountain called Xuan Yuan Mountain. Living at the base of the mountain was a small God tribe that the powerful Gods never took notice of - the Xuan Yuan tribe. After a great ceremony, the tribal elders of the Xuan Yuan tribe chose the bravest, smartest strapping young man in the tribe to be their leader. But even the tribal elders could not have foreseen what great feats and accomplishments this young man would one day accomplish. In another few thousand short years time, the young man expanded the formerly small Xuan Yuan tribe until by the time Gao Xing and Sheng Nong became aware of its rival existence in might, the time had passed to eliminate Xuan Yuan easily. They could only watch wearily as Xuan Yuan vaulted to join them and become one of the top three greatest God tribes in existence. The three great God tribes. The head was Sheng Nong, the tribe that received the direct order from the Great Emperor Pan Gu to watch over the Middle Plains, and each leader of the Sheng Nong Kingdom was called the Flame Emperor. The Flame Emperor ruled by beneficence. The second was Gao Xing, under orders to watch over the Southeast, and each successive ruler was called the Grand Emperor. The Grand Emperor ruled by protocol. The last was the upstart Xuan Yuan based in the Northwest, its ruler was called the Yellow Emperor, and he ruled by law. From then on, Sheng Nong in the Middle Plains, Xuan Yuan in the Northwest, and Gao Xing in the Southeast - the three powers co-existed warily for thousands of years in a seemingly stable balance and division of power. |
H19279:About the legend of the musician, I knew it and actually it was mentioned in the poem that Tong Hua used as title for chapter 25 (Li Bai's poem about zhi yin friends). I first wanted to mention it as example of zhi yin friendship but just lazy to reopen other page.
Chapter 25, FFB told XY that she graduated and no need to take archery lesson. Although, the title seems to link to her reaction when XY knew FFYY got pregnant but the poem was about the loss of zhiyin friend.
I'm going to take this as confirmation that Tong Hua chose these poems to be the titles of these chapters for specific purposes - to highlight messages in the chapter. It's not just by coincidence. Looks like I need to go back and look at the analysis of these poems again.
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