liddi:
I believe the first printing of the revised 2019 edition had the character diagram which described Xiao Yao as 有情 having love for Xiang Liu etc. Unfortunately that diagram is not available in the 2023 edition that I own.
That diagram belongs to Once Promise (2019 edition I think), not in LYF 2019. LYF edition included the poster of XL and XY watching the moon on the ocean
H19279:
That diagram belongs to Once Promise (2019 edition I think), not in LYF 2019. LYF edition included the poster of XL and XY watching the moon on the ocean
No. The poster of Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao was in Vol 2 of the very first 2013 edition. But you're right. The character diagram was in Once Promised 2019 revised edition. Unfortunately my copy did not include the diagram, which is really disappointing.
But I also feel that the action of sending the black poison was like a passive-aggressive behavior, like she was blaming and venting her anger on XL for the tragic and unfortunate situation with their relationshipMayaDavid:
I can see this as a possible reason. However, if this was the case then it painted Xiao Yao as a rather selfish person - this isn't incongruent with how she is in the novel. They are both in situations that are out of their control - she has her loyalty to Cang Xuan, while he has his loyalty to his adopted father and responsibility towards his comrades whom he had fought with for hundreds of years before meeting XY. She wasn't willing to give up Cang Xuan and felt that her blood had chosen for her, yet she blamed him for their relationship? When she was the one that had the promise with Jing?
The article focused on XY's behavior after she returned from 37 years under the sea. It talked about how love and hate are like two faces of a coin (not the exact words, but something like this).
I need to find this article. The saying goes "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference". And we know that Xiao Yao has never been indifferent towards Xiang Liu. She has been indifferent towards Jing, though. While I don't really subscribe to the notion that love and hate are two faces of a coin, they are both strong emotions which is better than indifference.
I did notice :) I was actually wondering yesterday if it is a good time to post given all the frustration with the season 2 leaked script.
It's always a good time to post regardless of what conversation is happening on here. There's a good chance that someone will find what you post interesting and engage in discussion :-)
For me, fortunately, yours and H19279 's lotus analysis made me see that XL had the best ending possible. While love is beautiful, overcoming the bounds of love is a greater feat.
I do think Xiang Liu has the best ending in LYF as well (despite the whole dying thing). He's the most clear-sighted out of the main 4 characters and makes the best choices that he can for the things and people that he cares about. His ending was on his terms and choices. And being dead means that he's not around to suffer :-). Still doesn't make reading/watching it any less painful :-(
While love is beautiful, overcoming the bounds of love is a greater feat. So, I no longer wish for XL and XY to end up together.
I agree. Loving deeply, but being able to let go instead of stubbornly holding on is no mean feat; it speaks to an enlightened soul since most of us mere mortals wouldn't be able to do it. Cang Xuan couldn't do it and it caused Xiao Yao's grief. Forget about Jing who clings on even when it causes Xiao Yao's grief. He's the best man out of the 3. I just see Xiao Yao as a lesson that he has to learn or a debt that he needs to repay on his way to enlightenment :-)
I sometimes wonder if TH was deliberately cruel to XY and did not want XY to ever meet XL again (in rebirth or some other way).
During their last meeting on Gourd Lake, she said she never wanted to see him again in this lifetime. After removing the Bugs, he said he never wanted to see her again. Period. Full Stop. No caveat about it only being in this lifetime.
I personally think that Tong Hua is plenty cruel to Xiao Yao - starting with having poor Xiao Yao ending up with Jing :-). We've read plenty of Tong Hua's interviews so I find it hard to believe that Xiao Yao's choices and the YaoJing relationship are things that she sees as positive. But everyone's mileage varies when it comes to Author Intentionalism.
Kokuto:
Liddi
Were you looking for the 2013 version of Lost You Forever in Chinese? In digital.
I found this last night looking for something Tong Hua allegedly said. It is dated 5/10/2013, and appears to be divided into three books.
https://www.kanunu8.com/book4/10401/
It looks like there is a digital version of Once Promised on that site too.
It was referenced on this site which has some other links (some broken), including one for an audio book? Not sure if it too is broken. And a bunch of comments which I haven't gone through.
https://www.shushengbar.net/%E9%95%BF%E7%9B%B8%E6%80%9D-the-sauvignon-blanc-%E6%A1%90%E5%8D%8E/
Yes this should be the 2013 version, thank you. One of the best ways to tell is in Vol 3 Ch15 (Chapter 48), where Xiang Liu said he could not remove the bug but he could kill it:
"However, don't blame me for deceiving you. It was you who was useless!" -- 2013 edition
"However, don't blame me for deceiving you. It was you who didn't ask!" -- 2019 revised edition onwards
Yes, and in the 2013 edition, the song that XY sang for XL ended with you are like bird on the sky, I am like fish in the water, forget each other, remember each other
| Sang to lure Fei Fei ( XL was nearby) | Sang for Jing and FL, Xing Yue |
| 君若水上风 You're like wind on the lake 妾似风中莲 I'm like lotus in the wind 相见相思 See e.o. , miss e.o. 相见相思 See e.o., miss e.o. 君若天上云 You're like the cloud on the sky 妾似云中月 I'm like the moon in the cloud 相恋相惜 Love e.o., cherish e.o. 相恋相惜 Love e.o., cherish e.o. 君若山中树 You're like a tree in the mountain 妾似树上藤 I'm like vine on the tree 相伴相依 Accompany e.o., depend on e.o. 相伴相依 Accompany e.o., depend on e.o. 君若天上鸟 You're like a bird in the sky 妾似水中鱼 I'm like a fish in water 相忘相忆 Forget e.o., remember e.o. 相忘相忆 Forget e.o., remember e.o. Note: e.o.: each other So, this one was adapted in the drama when XY heard of XL's death | 君若水上风 |
I believe that from 2019 edition onward, only the version for Jing was used in both cases. Meaning TH skipped the text in red
In chapter 43, XY sang the last chorus of the song while she was singing for CX
缘何世间有悲欢 Why is there joy and sorrow in the world?
缘何人间有聚散 Why do people gather and disperse?
唯愿与君 Only wish to be with you
长相守、不分离 Stay together forever, never separate
长相守、不分离.... Stay together forever, never separate
Yes, but those are not 相思豆 acacia beans.
Acacia beans look like this on the tree:
This video shows you the actual flower (it's yellow) and the pod that holds the actual bean itself.
@liddi
红豆 (red beans), otherwise known as 相思子 (seed of lovesickness / yearning) are not acacia beans, but rosary peas. The entire plant is toxic, but especially the seeds:
Abrus precatorius beans (also known as rosary peas or jequirity beans) are distinctive-looking red seeds with a black spot that are commonly used in jewelry and toys, especially from foreign sources. The entire plant is toxic, but the beans are highly toxic to humans.
cr. poison.org
Today, while searching for the chinese maple trees, I found red bean tree mentioned in this site https://www.theworldofchinese.com/2022/03/chinese-trees-and-their-meanings/
According to that site:
The red bean tree (红豆树), the Chinese name for Ormosia hosiei and several related species, symbolizes love and yearning. Its seeds, which look like bright red beans, were said to be the tears wept by a woman whose husband died as a soldier guarding the border, according to Records of Old and New Poetry Talks (《古今诗话录》) by Northern Song scholar Li Qi (李颀). Often sent as tokens of love to a long-distance lover in ancient China, these beans were also popular materials for bracelets or imbedded in other jewelry and handicrafts. Tang poet Wang Wei (王维) famously captured the sentiment behind the tree with his poem “Love Seeds (《相思》)”:
红豆生南国，The red bean grows in the southern lands,
春来发几枝。With spring its slender tendrils twine.
愿君多采撷，Gather for me some more, I pray,
此物最相思。Of fond remembrance ‘tis the sign.
- Translated by W.J.B. Fletcher, “Gems of Chinese Verses,” Commercial Press, 1919
 From [1] |  This pics was from amazon site [2] |
Though they can live for over a thousand years, the red bean tree has been listed as an endangered species in China since 1999 due to over-harvesting for its seeds and timber.
Note: [2] is selling seed of Ormosia hosiei and the photo of the seeds and leaves look similar to the one depicted on the book covers of 2013 edition
---------------------------------
Another love tree in Chinese literature is wutong tree (or Chinese parasol tree) which is the plant mentioned in Jiuli poem about the lovers' bug (Chapter 37).
巫王叹了口气：“我们九黎的歌谣说‘地上梧桐相持老，天上鹣鹣不独飞，水中鸳鸯会双死。’”
The Witch King sighed: "Our Jiuli song says, 'The parasol trees on the ground are locked in a stalemate, the jian jian birds in the sky don't fly alone, and the mandarin ducks in the water dies together.'
This tree stands for devotion. Ancient Chinese mythology says that phoenixes only rest on Chinese parasol trees, giving them a magical and auspicious quality. From the Han to the Tang dynasty, writers began to associate wutong with devoted couples. Ancient Chinese also believed that wu and tong are the male and female versions of the same tree. As a couple, they grow side by side, as depicted in the “Song of a Virtuous Woman (《烈女操》)” by Tang poet, Meng Jiao (孟郊): “Wutong stay with each other for life; yuanyang [male and female Mandarin ducks] die together in the end.”
 |  |
I believe that from 2019 edition onward, only the version for Jing was used in both cases. Meaning TH skipped the text in red
No. The songs in the 2013 vs 2019 / 2023 editions are still unchanged.
This is the summary:
NOVEL
Vol 1 preface; song to lure out Fei Fei (Vol 1 Ch2)
If you are the wind above the water, I am like the lotus in the wind; Seeing and missing each other, Seeing and missing each other.
If you are the cloud in the sky, I am like the moon in the clouds; Loving and cherishing each other, Loving and cherishing each other.
If you are the tree on the mountain, I am like the vine on the tree: Accompanying and relying on each other, Accompanying and relying on each other.
If you are the bird in the sky, I am like the fish in the water; Forgetting and remembering each other, Forgetting and remembering each other
Song sung to Jing at Yan Zhuan manor (Vol 2 Ch3 - Chapter 20), Fake letter contents, song sung to Jing at the ocean (Vol 3 Ch10 - Chapter 43)
If you are the wind above the water, I am like the lotus in the wind; Seeing and missing each other, Seeing and missing each other.
If you are the cloud in the sky, I am like the moon in the clouds; Loving and cherishing each other, Loving and cherishing each other.
If you are the tree on the mountain, I am like the vine on the tree: Accompanying and relying on each other, Accompanying and relying on each other.If you are the bird in the sky, I am like the fish in the water; Forgetting and remembering each other, Forgetting and remembering each other
Why are there joys and sorrows in the world; Why are there gatherings and partings in the world;
I only wish for us, to stay together forever, never to part.
Vol 2 preface; Song sung to Cang Xuan after returning from 1st assassination attempt (Vol 3 Ch10 - Chapter 43)
Why are there joys and sorrows in the world; Why are there gatherings and partings in the world;
I only wish for us, to stay together forever, never to part.
DRAMA
Song to lure out Fei Fei (Ep3), sung to Jing (Ep29)
If you are the wind above the water, I am like the lotus in the wind; Seeing and missing each other, Seeing and missing each other.
If you are the cloud in the sky, I am like the moon in the clouds; Loving and cherishing each other, Loving and cherishing each other.
If you are the tree on the mountain, I am like the vine on the tree: Accompanying and relying on each other, Accompanying and relying on each other.
Why are there joys and sorrows in the world; Why are there gatherings and partings in the world;
缘何余生 愿与君执手 Why am I willing to hold hands with you for the rest of my life,
Stay together forever, never to part.
Actually, the lyrics of the song 相见相思 Seeing and Missing Each Other from the soundtrack do NOT have the line:
君若天上鸟，妾似水中鱼。If you are the bird in the sky, I am like the fish in the water;
相忘相忆，相忘相忆。Forgetting and remembering each other, Forgetting and remembering each other
What we got in Ep2 when Xiao Liu sang to lure out Fei Fei, was the complete song, as well as slightly revised lyrics (highlighted in yellow above). So to be honest, I can't see how this line could be included in the scene when Xiao Yao mourns Xiang Liu's death in S2, unless the song is revised, which is highly unlikely. In which case, the lyrics for the singing voiceover would probably be the same, or truncated, depending on the scene.
What is evident from the leaked script is that they removed the following line when she mourned Xiang Liu:
If you are the cloud in the sky, I am like the moon in the clouds; Loving and cherishing each other, Loving and cherishing each other.
while the one when she departs with Jing is exactly the same as the version she sang for him in the novel.
Let's look closely to her question to Miao Pu: “苗莆，你说为什么我一次都没有梦见璟昵？”
昵: Ni (similar to dear in english) 梦见: dream of ; 梦: dream
Kaola translated: "Miao Pu, who do you think I’ve not once dreamed about Jing?”
The best translation for this sentence using translation tools such as google and Baidu or Handbook.com is
Miao Pu, can you explain why I haven't ever dreamed of Jing?
or Miao Pu, can you explain why I have never dreamed of Jing?
@liddi can easily translate this sentence in the best way. But the message is she wanted to ask Miao Pu why she has't dream of Jing once.
My interpretation of this question remains the same. XY was asking Miao Pu why she had not dreamed of TSJ once since his disappearance less than a month earlier. Not why she had not dreamed of TSJ ever in her entire life.
We know that she has dreamed of TSJ in the past. In chapter 27, she dreams of TSJ, FFB and XL.
-----
Chapter 27:
She knew tonight that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep unless she took a sleeping aid. She swallowed a few pills and fell asleep.
In her dream, she saw Jing with his son, but she couldn’t see his son’s face, only that he curled in his dad’s arms and called him sweetly “Daddy” while Jing smiled back.
Xiao Yao ran away as fast as she could and in a second she ran from Qing Qiu to Qing Shui Town. Xiao Yao jumped in the river and swam towards the vast blue ocean. She could see endless horizons and the joy of swimming freely, but she was so, so tired! Where could she go in this entire world? Fang Feng Bei appeared on the surface and he sat on an all white clam shell smiling at her with his black hair flying in the breeze. Xiao Yao swam towards him but in a second his hair turned all white and he became Xiang Liu coldly staring at her. White clam shell, all white Xiang Liu, it was like an ice mountain floating on the ocean surface.
The black-hair-him, the white-hair-him, closer and further away……Xiao Yao suddenly turned and swam towards land, as she swam her tears tumbled down like rain……
Xiao Yao startled awake from her dream and felt coldness next to her. She touched her face and discovered that she was drenched in tears.
So XY just had a dream and she woke up, and felt as if someone knocking the window. She was in the stage of half unconscious (between sleeping and fully awaken). Who came from the window? Jing never came from the window, if he was back, he would come from the door. What kind of dream that reminded her of someone from the window.
I appreciate the clarification that XY was definitely dreaming in that part of chapter 42 (rather than having a dreamless sleep). However, I'm not sure that I agree that we should conclude that XY must have been dreaming of FFB in this scene, and I firmly do not believe that she went to the window thinking of / expecting to see FFB.
Based on XY's question to Miao Pu, we know that XY did not see TSJ in the dream that she was awoken from, but other than that we really don't know anything about the dream. It could have been about FFB or XL. It also could have been about other people. Or it could have been about no one other than XY herself (e.g., a dream like her sea star collecting dream in chapter 26, or a dream about searching for TSJ and not finding him).
I don't see any indication that XY went to the window because of the subject matter of her dream. She went to the window because the rustling of the trees against the window sounded like someone knocking on the window, and that sound woke her from her dream. When FFB entered her room through the window in chapter 17, he did not knock first. He vaulted through her window without knocking. And in the instances where XL showed up in XY's room at the clinic because he was injured and wanted WXL to heal him, the reader isn't told how he got into WXL's room because WXL doesn't know. XL simply appears, and he definitely does not knock before entering.
XY had spent the last month either searching for TSJ or waiting for TSJ to return, and their wedding was scheduled for the next day. She was waiting for TSJ and expecting (or at least fervently hoping) that he would show up in time for the wedding. I don't imagine XY gave much thought in that moment as to whether TSJ would be the type to knock on her window or not (rather than arriving through the main entrance of her rooms), but even if she did, if TSJ was going to come to her in the middle of the night, the fastest and most respectful (to preserve her reputation, since they weren't married yet) way for him to arrive would be through her window, rather than alerting everyone to his presence in order to come through the main entrance in the middle of the night. So even if she did think about it, XY wouldn't necessarily assume that the person knocking on her window was not TSJ simply because TSJ would normally arrive via the main entrance to her rooms in different circumstances. I would actually argue the opposite. Knocking at the window (instead of vaulting inside without knocking) seems more like TSJ behaviour than XL or FFB behaviour. So a knock at the window would increase XY's expectations that the person at the window would be TSJ, rather than decrease them.
And of course, when she opens the window, XY calls, "Jing... Jing, have you returned?" For the reasons I've mentioned below, I don't believe that XY's thoughts and memories of TSJ and XL/FFB intertwined in moments when XY was groggy or feverish. But if they did, and XY really meant to refer to XL/FFB in this moment rather than TSJ, then why did XY refer to "TSJ" (but actually XL/FFB) "returning"? She could have said something more neutral like "Jing... Jing is it you?" instead. "Have you returned?" specifically sounds like it's referring to TSJ, who disappeared less than a month earlier. Especially given that XY was waiting for TSJ to return before the wedding.
On top of that, I don't think that XY was groggy when she ran to the window. I think the dizziness she feels after opening the window hits her when she realizes (after Miao Pu speaks) that no one is at the window. I also don't think XY called for TSJ simply to hide her true intentions from Miao Pu. If XY wanted to hide the fact that she ran to the window hoping to find XL or FFB, XY could have stayed silent. And if she did believe that XL/FFB was at her window, I really don't think XY would have called for TSJ like that out the window for XL/FFB to hear it.
In summary, I think XY was dreaming of something other than TSJ in this scene, but we don't know what. I don't think there's any indication that she was dreaming of FFB or XL coming through her window. It would be uncharacteristic of either of them to knock and wait by the window, rather than simply entering without knocking. When XY was woken up from her dream by something that sounded like a person knocking on her window, XY thought it was TSJ. She had been waiting for him to return for the past month, and the next day was their scheduled wedding day. When XY ran to the window and called "Jing... Jing, have you returned?" she was only thinking of TSJ and her thoughts / memories of TSJ in that moment were not intertwined with her thoughts / memories of XL/FFB.
-----
Chapter 17:
Xiao Yao chased the thoughts of her mom away and drank her wine and thought about her dad. She smiled and her feelings told her that her dad loved her very much! She had to be her dad’s daughter!
A person suddenly vaulted into her room from the window and then immediately closed it.
The sounds of the chasing soldiers reached her, clearly they were chasing someone.
...
The man was wearing a mask and silently staring at Xiao Yao,
Her body tensed and her instinct told her this man was someone she knew well. She reached out, and the man didn’t stop her, and she slowly took off his mask. It was Fang Feng Bei.
So XY just had a dream and she woke up, and felt as if someone knocking the window. She was in the stage of half unconscious (between sleeping and fully awaken). Who came from the window? Jing never came from the window, if he was back, he would come from the door. What kind of dream that reminded her of someone from the window.
This kind of mental state and her reaction is why similar to her reaction in chapter 44 when she saw the hibiscus flowers and had illision of "Jing"
Xiao Yao’s eyes were staring into the distance and she said with a smile “Jing, you’re finally back!”
Zhuan Xu paused for a split second, his smile frozen, but then he firmly picked Xiao Yao up into his arms “Let’s go home.
Zhuan Xu carried Xiao Yao onto the cloud carriage. Her body couldn’t move but her face was tightly pressed to his chest “Jing, I miss you so much, so much……..Don’t leave………don’t leave……..”
Zhuan Xu placed his palm on Xiao Yao’s back and felt her weak heartbeat.
His face showed no signs of his exhaustion from rushing back day and night, but his eyes reflected endless sorrow. His voice remained gentle and firm “I won’t leave, Xiao Yao, I won’t leave! I will always be here!”
Xiao Yao listened to his firm beating heart and finally felt comforted. Jing was here! Jing was right beside her (Chapter 44)
She called Jing but she was scared that he would leave her (Don't leave... don't... leave). If Jing was back, he would stay. Why should he leave her? She kept pressing her head to CX's chest to hear his heart beat. Eventually, it was the heart beat that comforted her. So, who shared heart beat with XY over decades? She felt her sorrow was understood, was shared by hearing XY's heart beat. During 37 years, XL's heart beat was the only constant sound that helped her overcome the endless darkness.
Therefore, these 2 examples show that in such half conscious/unconscious condition, her memory of Jing and XL intertwined. And the memory of XL/FFB is normally dominant or dictates her action.
I don't believe that XY's thoughts/memories of TSJ and XL/FFB "intertwined" in this scene. To be honest, that feels disrespectful of her feelings for XL/FFB... to suggest that she could mix the two up like that makes it seem like they are interchangeable. While I do think that XY occasionally uses TSJ as a proxy for XL, I don't think she would ever confuse the two or her (very different) feelings for them, even in a feverish state or in a groggy state after waking up.
TSJ disappeared unexpectedly in chapter 42. If he had really returned in chapter 44, I wouldn't be at all surprised if XY (especially XY in a feverish state) would ask him not to leave (again).
It's absolutely true that XY has been comforted by XL's heartbeat in the past on several occasions, but it was always through the bug connection. XY also felt XL/FFB's heartbeat by placing her hand on his chest more than once, although not in circumstances where she needed comfort. She also felt FFB's pulse when he came to her injured in chapter 17, but again XY did not need comfort in that scene (beyond the comfort of confirming the status of XL/FFB's health). But XY did not ever press her head or her body against XL or FFB's chest in order to hear his heartbeat - whether she needed comfort or not. Whereas XY has leaned against YSQ's chest (with her head on YSQ's shoulder) and felt YSQ's heartbeat, and she was comforted in that scene.
-----
Chapter 8:
Shi Qi helped Xiao Liu up and let him rest on his shoulder to be more comfortable. Shi Qi asked, “You don’t want to see the Grand Emperor, is it because he will kill you if he sees you?”
...
Shi Qi quietly held Xiao Liu and Xiao Liu quietly listened to his heartbeat. In this place of death, separated from the world’s enticements and entanglements, it made the complicated relationship between a man and a woman so very simple. It was just him and her. Xiao Liu suddenly felt right being here and that was calming.
...
Shi Qi’s body stiffened and he said nothing for a long time. Xiao Liu was leaning on him so could feel his heart beating so fast it might burst out of his chest.
I translated this excerpt some time ago:
In the middle of the night, Xiao Yao woke up from her dream with a start. She seemed to have heard someone knocking on the window, so she jumped on the ground barefooted and rushed over to the window in a few steps, opening the window, "Jing... Jing, have you returned?"
Miao Pu held the pearl lamp in one hand, clothes in the other, "Young Lady, it is just the sound of the rustling of the branches in the wind."
Xiao Yao felt dizzy and unsteady on her feet. Leaning against the window, she murmured, "Is it really not him?"
The bright moonlight accorded an unobstructed view outside the window. There were only flowers and trees, but not even a shadow of a person. Disappointed and sad, Xiao Yao asked quietly, "Miao Pu, why do you think I never once dreamt of Jing?"
Miao Pu draped the clothes on Xiao Yao's body and handed her the embroidered shoes. Not knowing how to answer Xiao Yao's question, she could only say vaguely, "I don't know."
Xiao Yao looked up at the moon and said, "I really miss him. Even if I really can't see him anymore, it would be good to see him in my dreams."
-- Vol 3 Ch9 (Chapter 42)
I'll cover off a few more thoughts on this scene below.
-----
Chapter 42:
In the middle of the night, Xiao Yao woke up from her dream with a start. She seemed to have heard someone knocking on the window, so she jumped on the ground barefooted and rushed over to the window in a few steps, opening the window [she called], "Jing... Jing, have you returned?"
Miao Pu held the pearl lamp in one hand, clothes in the other, "Young Lady, it is just the sound of the rustling of the branches in the wind."
Xiao Yao felt dizzy and unsteady on her feet. Leaning against the window, she murmured, "Is it really not him?"
The bright moonlight accorded an unobstructed view outside the window. There were only flowers and trees, but not even a shadow of a person.
Disappointed and sad, Xiao Yao asked quietly, "Miao Pu, why do you think I never once dreamt of Jing?"
Miao Pu draped the clothes on Xiao Yao's body and handed her the embroidered shoes. Not knowing how to answer Xiao Yao's question, she could only say vaguely, "I don't know."
Xiao Yao looked up at the moon and said, "I really miss him. Even if I really can't see him anymore, it would be good to see him in my dreams."
-----
While I believe she was primarily referring to TSJ when she said those last words, I do think that those words also happen to be true of her feelings about FFB, and that Tong Hua probably created that parallel intentionally.
TSJ disappeared less than a month before this scene and is presumed to be dead.
Based on the events described in chapter 42, we know that XY is deeply affected by the loss of TSJ and really misses him. She hasn't been able to dream of him since he disappeared, but if he is really dead and she won't be able to see him again in real life, then it would at least be nice to see him in her dreams.
TSJ chose the night of the full moon to be the night of his wedding with XY. When XY looks up at the moon before saying that she really misses "him", the full moon holds an association with TSJ (in addition to the association with XL that we are all aware of). XY mentions that association later in this chapter (chapter 42) and when she goes ahead with her wedding to TSJ despite his absence later in this chapter (chapter 42), she makes her vows to the moon. In chapter 43, the seagull assassin uses the lyrics of the song that XY previously sang to TSJ written on the fabric of TSJ's sleeve to lure XY into a trap. Later in chapter 43, XY mentions the association between TSJ and the full moon again and recalls her last memories with TSJ before singing that song.
-----
Chapter 42:
Xiao Yao walked to the window to look up at the full moon. Jing picked a full moon night for their wedding likely so they had a round happy ending. But today the round moon didn’t shine on a happy ending pair.
...
Xiao Yao looked down, she had been injured before and knew how long it took to stop hurting. To stop hurting she had to forget! But time was like sand, it would cover up everything in the heart.
But——
Jing, I don’t want to!
If the price to pay to not hurt is to forget you, then I would rather be in pain always so that you can live in my heart, until my life reaches its conclusion.
I’ve already put on my wedding dress and said my vows to the moon. From tonight forward, I am your wife!
-----
Chapter 43:
Xiao Yao was swimming under the ship taking things in when a woman in purple laying on the edge lifted her head. “If you want to see Tu Shan Jing then get on the ship.”
Xiao Yao emerged and asked, “Why should I believe you?”
The woman tossed a scrap of cloth at Xiao Yao and on it was writing in Jing’s hand. It was the lyrics of the song she sang for him in his residence.
If beloved is wind above the water
I will be the lily in the wind
To see and to miss
To see and to miss
If beloved is the cloud in the sky
I would be the moon in the cloud
To love and to cherish
To love and to cherish
If beloved were the tree in the forest
I would be the vines on the tree
Together and connected
Together and connected
Why does the world have sadness
Why do lives have gathering and parting
Only wish with beloved
Together forever, never apart
Xiao Yao finished reading and restrained her tears before jumping on the ship.
...
Who could have foreseen that Jing would leave her? Even if it was just like her parents with a reason that couldn’t be helped. But she was still abandoned again, and she didn’t want to keep being strong anymore to face a long life ahead. If Jing slept in this ocean, then she would rather be here with him.
...
The sun gradually set and the moon rose from the ocean surface. Xiao Yao pointed and said to Xiang Liu, “Look!”
Xiang Liu stared coldly at her and didn’t move but Left Ear turned to look at the moon and said, “Very round moon!”
Xiao Yao burst out laughing while staring at the moon. “Jing picked the full moon night to get married. I wanted to ask him why but was too embarrassed to, and figured I could ask him after the wedding since we had plenty of time. The last time I saw him was 32 days ago, he came to Xiao Yue Peak to see me and was supposed to leave before dinner but stayed until long after dinner, until the moon rose high over the mountain. We walked in the moonlight along the mountain paths. The moon was very beautiful that night. I pulled him to dance as I sang but he didn’t know how so I laughed at him for being so silly. Later he left on his winged ride and pointed to the moon and said, “At the next full moon, no matter if the moon is bright or dark, if people gather or part, I will be with you forever, never apart.”
Xiao Yao suddenly started singing towards the ocean.
If beloved is wind above the water
I will be the lily in the wind
To see and to miss
To see and to miss
If beloved is the cloud in the sky
I would be the moon in the cloud
To love and to cherish
To love and to cherish
If beloved was the tree in the forest
I would be the vines on the tree
Together and connected
Together and connected
Why does the world have sadness
Why do lives have gathering and parting
Only wish with beloved
Together forever, never apart
The silver moonlight lent an air of desolation around as the waves crested glittering in soft folds. Xiao Yao pointed at the moon with a smile. “If I don’t see his body then in my memory he will always be on the back of his crane smiling at me while pointing to the moon to say, “At the next full moon, no matter if the moon is bright or dark, if people gather or part, I will be with you forever, never apart.” I likely am very stupid and very weak. I can’t believe that he’s dead and feel that he may come back at the next full moon.”
-----
But it is also true that XL told XY that FFB was "dead" in chapter 32.
Based on her encounter with XL in chapter 35 (when he looked like FFB for a moment and she nearly became torn again) and her response to Left Ear's question in chapter 43, we know for sure that XY also really missed FFB at this point in the story. I'm sure it was true that XY felt that if XL really wouldn't let her see FFB anymore, it would at least be nice if she could see FFB in her dreams. If you feel that this statement accurately describes XY's feelings about FFB in chapter 42 and believe that Tong Hua intended for XY's words here to have that dual meaning, then I think that's another reason to believe that XY was not dreaming of FFB before she woke up and ran to the window in chapter 42.
----
Chapter 43:
“What about the man who was with you before? You called him Bei.” Left Ear saw Bei many times in the slave death match arena, but he was always wearing a dog face mask so Left Ear didn’t know what Bei looked like.
Xiao Yao looked at Xiang Liu just as he glanced at her and the two’s eyes met. Xiao Yao immediately looked away and said to Left Ear, “He died.”
Left Ear’s normally dispassionate eyes turned sad.
...
Left Ear asked, “Do you miss him?”
Xiao Yao sighed and didn’t answer.
Left Ear was persistent and stared at Xiao Yao to ask again, “He’s not here anymore. Do you miss him?”
Xiao Yao cried out, “Yes!”
Left Ear smiled. “That will make him very happy.”
----
In chapter 42, XY almost certainly also really missed XL. But unlike TSJ and FFB, there is no reason for XY to think that she will never see XL again. She encountered him unexpectedly in chapter 35, and was able to spot him in disguise when he came to discuss the bug with TSJ (at TSJ's request) in chapter 38. Although they have drifted apart and rarely met up with each other at that point in the story, I'm sure that XY believed that she would still see XL in person again in the future. In chapter 51, XY looks back on her words in chapter 46 with regret and laments that she never would have said those words to him if she knew it was really going to be their last meeting ever. Which means that even after she cut ties with him in chapter 46, XY still thought that she would meet XL again someday.
Plus XY didn't need to rely on dreams to see XL. Before chapter 48, she could use her gorilla spirit mirror to see his face whenever she wanted.
So I don't think "I really miss him. Even if I really can't see him anymore, it would be good to see him in my dreams." is intended to be about XL. I think it is intended to be about TSJ, but is intentionally written so that it is also an accurate description of how XY feels about FFB.
-----
Chapter 42:
Xiao Yao looked up at the moon and said, "I really miss him. Even if I really can't see him anymore, it would be good to see him in my dreams."
Miao Pu felt like crying, she had been serving Xiao Yao this whole time and had seen how hard it was for Xiao Yao and Jing to finally get together. Just as they were about to get their happy ending, then this happened.
Xiao Yao said, “Likely because I didn’t see it with my own eyes, everything doesn’t seem real. I feel like he will suddenly appear. How could someone just vanish like that? How come he didn’t say goodbye to me? I would rather he died in my arms, that we could say our last words to each other. But what’s this? One day I get his letter telling me to sleep early and not read late into the night, and the next day everyone says he’s gone. How’s that possible? I don’t believe it! Why didn’t he tell me anything? I hate him!” Xiao Yao screamed at the moon, “Tu Shan Jing, I hate you!”
The night was silent back.
Xiao Yao wearily lowered her head as the tears came down like rain drops. “But I don’t have the heart to hate you. I know that you must be in pain that you couldn’t keep your promise.”
-----
XY went on to talk about how she didn't see TSJ die, so his death didn't feel real. She felt like he would suddenly appear again. She wondered out loud how someone could have vanished the way he vanished. She wondered why he didn't say goodbye to her. Rather than dying and disappearing like that, she would have preferred to have him die in her arms so they could say their last words to each other. She wondered how it was possible that she could receive his letter about going to QS town, which contained such normal sentiments (e.g., him worrying about her staying up all night reading), only for him to be dead and gone the next day. She said she hated him, but also that she didn't have the heart to hate him, because she knew that he must be in pain due to not being able to keep his promise to her. She might have been referring to his promise to marry her on their scheduled wedding day. She might have been referring to his declaration a month earlier that, as of the next full moon, they would be together forever, never apart. Or she might have been referring to the promise he made in chapter 4 - that XY would always be able to find him when she needed him.
Whichever promise it was, it seems clear to me that these words are all about TSJ.
-----
Chapter 4:
Xiao Liu was almost falling asleep when Shi Qi’s voice spoke. “There won’t be a second time.”
“Hhmmm?” Xiao Liu drowsily opened his eyes.
“No matter what reason, there won’t be a second time when you need me but can’t find me.”
-----
However, some of XY's words do also apply to FFB. XY didn't see FFB's death. She only encountered XL in the courtyard after he removed the dye from his hair. One day FFB was taking her away from her wedding with Feng Long, and then next day XL was telling her that FFB was dead. He vanished from her life and didn't say goodbye. He seemed to reappear before her for a moment again in chapter 35, but then XL's white hair reminded her who he was.
Rather than having FFB disappear like that, XY likely would have preferred to be able to say goodbye to him.
Perhaps she also still can't believe that FFB is gone, and feels like he will suddenly appear again.
Perhaps she hates FFB for disappearing (or hates XL for "killing" FFB) but also doesn't have the heart to hate FFB/XL. Not because either of them ever broke a promise to her (FFB made no promises, and XL never broke the promises he made to her), but simply because they are FFB and XL.
While the sentiment behind her words mostly applies to FFB, in addition to applying to TSJ, I don't think that means that we are supposed to read XY's words and conclude that she was actually talking about FFB instead of TSJ. I think the words are meant to be understood as applying to TSJ just as XY says them, but Tong Hua also intentionally wrote them in a way that would remind the reader of her feelings for FFB.
-----
Chapter 42:
Xiao Yao said to Miao Pu, “Bring me a godly mulberry wood.” Miao Pu didn’t know why but quickly went to bring one back. When she got back, she saw Xiao Yao in the corridor and she had already brought a ladder over. Miao Pu said, “Miss, be careful, this branch seems flameless but is entirely a flame. Hold it by the jade handle.”
Xiao Yao took the branch with the jade handle and climbed the ladder to light the bright red wedding lantern.
...
In the dark silent night, Miao Pu moved the ladder and Xiao Yao lit the lantern, one after another, until all the wedding lanterns were shining brightly. With that the entire residence was bathed in warm red light.
...
Xiao Yao walked to the window to look up at the full moon. Jing picked a full moon night for their wedding likely so they had a round happy ending. But today the round moon didn’t shine on a happy ending pair.
Xiao Yao told the Yellow Emperor she just needed time, but how much time did she need? How long would it take before her heart didn’t hurt anymore?
Xiao Yao asked “Miao Pu, how long do you think before I’m not heartbroken?”
Miao Pu answered “Like a severe injury, it will hurt a lot initially, and slowly the wound will scab and scar, and slowly it won’t hurt as much.”
Xiao Yao looked down, she had been injured before and knew how long it took to stop hurting. To stop hurting she had to forget! But time was like sand, it would cover up everything in the heart.
But——
Jing, I don’t want to!
If the price to pay to not hurt is to forget you, then I would rather be in pain always so that you can live in my heart, until my life reaches its conclusion.
I’ve already put on my wedding dress and said my vows to the moon. From tonight forward, I am your wife!
-----
After her laments at the window, XY lights the wedding lanterns, puts on her wedding make up, puts on her wedding dress, says her wedding vows to the moon, and considers herself to be TSJ's wife.
All of that seems to just be about TSJ, with no secondary connection to FFB or XL.
However, XY also wonders how long it would take before her heart doesn't hurt anymore. She thinks to herself that she has been injured before, so she knew how long it took to stop hurting. To stop hurting she had to forget. But if the price to pay to not be heartbroken over TSJ is to forget TSJ, then she would rather be in pain always so that TSJ can live in her heart until the day she dies.
Those are XY's internal thoughts, rather than words that she says to someone else, so I believe that XY genuinely feels that way about TSJ. But I also believe that the same sentiment applies to FFB/XL. Her heart is still hurting over him, but she is unwilling to forget him in order to not hurt any more. She would rather be in pain always so that FFB/XL can live in her heart until the day she dies. She doesn't want to forget FFB/XL in order to escape the pain. We are reminded of this when XY confirms that she misses FFB in chapter 43, and again in chapter 51 when XY is devastated to discover that her memories of XL have been erased from her gorilla spirit mirror.
I also wonder what XY was referring to when she thinks to herself that she had been injured before, so she knew how long it would take to stop hurting and that to stop hurting she would need to forget.
Was XY thinking of the trauma she experienced when her mother abandoned her on Jade Mountain and died in battle? XY didn't exactly forget her mother, but that trauma was healed in chapter 36 after XY got to meet her mother and hear the truth about her choice, which gave XY closure and allowed her to put the trauma behind her. Which perhaps is a form of forgetting. I'm not sure if this fits the bill.
Was XY thinking of the trauma she experienced when she was separated from CX and he never came to collect her from Jade Mountain? She used her memories of CX to endure the torture she experienced when she was captured by the nine tailed fox, and to endure the torture she experienced (the flesh eating bugs) when she was captured by CX before he knew her true identity - which forced XY to plant the bug in CX instead of XL. It didn't seem like XY ever forgot CX in order to heal from that trauma. She just moved past the pain of their separation because they were able to reunite again. So I'm not sure if this fits the bill either.
Was XY thinking of the pain she endured when XL pushed her away in chapter 22 (which was reinforced when CX told her that XL had saved her in exchange for a peak on Sheng Nong Mountain in chapter 23)? Or the pain she endured when he didn't respond to the ice crystal ball message in chapter 31 (which was exacerbated when he ruined the wedding the way he did, when he told her that FFB was dead in chapter 32, and by the way he treated her in chapter 32)? I don't think XY got over that pain and I don't think XY forgot XL, so IMO this definitely doesn't fit the bill.
Was XY thinking of the pain she endured when she found out about FFYY's pregnancy, and the pain she experienced from her subsequent breakup with TSJ and his marriage to FFYY? It didn't seem like XY ever completely got over that pain or forgot TSJ, but I do think there were several occasions where XL or FFB managed to help XY temporarily forget TSJ and the pain he caused her. Perhaps that's what she was thinking of? But then that seems like an odd example, given that the context is XY thinking to herself that she doesn't want to forget TSJ. She wants to remember him and keep him in her heart until she dies, and she considers herself to be his wife...
I'd be interested to hear others' thoughts on that.
@AH
the missing part in kaola translation of chapter 6
typical example of missing information due to different perceptions or misunderstanding author”s intention
I'm not sure that I've totally understood exactly how this post is suggesting that we are supposed to translate this scene and understand it.
Please let me know if this is right.
Suggestion 1
Is the first suggestion that this part of chapter 6 of Koala's translation omits a few lines from the original mandarin text?
-----
Chapter 6:
Ten days later, Xiao Liu woke up in an elegantly decorated room. It was hot Summer out but cool inside, and through the window there was a courtyard filled with blooming flowers of every type. A wind chime hung on the window sill made from crystal from the North Pole and in various colors carved into different flower shapes. As the wind blew past, the cold from the crystal chimes released into the air and brought a breeze.
Xiao Liu put on a robe and walked out to the corridor. Jing stood up in the courtyard and looked directly at him. The bright warm sun, the vibrant flowers, and a gentleman. Like a painting, it was so utterly beautiful. Xiao Liu walked up to Jing and he reached out to touch his face as if to confirm he was real. Xiao Liu slightly leaned his head to feel the warmth of his palm.
Jing suddenly embraced Xiao Liu, gentle but tightly pulling him into his arms. Xiao Liu closed his eyes, allowing his head to lightly rest on Jing’s shoulder. In this moment, they were just Shi Qi and Xiao Liu.
Cling clank, plates crashed on the ground. Xiao Liu raised his head and saw Jing Ye standing dumbstruck in the corridor, her eyes filled with shock and dismay. Xiao Liu’s evil side rose up so he maintained his position and closed his eyes, pretending he saw and heard nothing, waiting to see how Jing would react.
Jing disappointed Xiao Liu, he was calm and continued to quietly embrace Xiao Liu. There was the feeling that even if the world was ending, he was still going keep on hugging.
Jing Ye finally moved and walked over. “Is Master Liu’s injuries worsened? Let me help him stand.”
Xiao Liu guffawed out loud, she’s a funny one as well! He squirmed out of Jing’s arms and smiled at Jing Ye. She bowed to him “Thank you Young Master for saving my Lord’s life. Please accept my bow of gratitude.” Xiao Liu avoided it. “Your lord saved my life so it’s even.” Xiao Liu thanked Jing, “Lao Mu is waiting for me so I’ll be off.”
Xiao Liu turned and left. Jing reached out his hand but slowly pulled it back, only watching Xiao Liu’s form disappear down the corridor.
-----
And that this text should be included in that text?
小六披衣起来，走到廊下，璟从花圃中站起，定定地看着他。
明媚灿烂的阳光，勃勃生机的鲜花，还有一位君子，如金如锡、如圭如璧，一切都赏心悦目，令人欢喜。
小六走到璟面前，微笑着轻叹：“我姑酌彼金罍，维以不永怀！我姑酌彼兕觥，维以不永伤！” 从死到生，让我姑且放纵一下吧，那些悲伤的事情就不想了
-----
So that it reads something like this?
Xiao Liu put on a robe and walked out to the corridor. Jing stood up in the courtyard and looked directly at him.
The bright warm sun, the vibrant flowers, and a gentleman. Like a painting, it was so utterly beautiful.
The bright sunshine, the vibrant flowers, and a gentleman, like gold (金) or tin (锡), like a jade tablet (圭*) or a jade annulus (璧**), everything was pleasing to the eye and delightful.
Xiao Liu walked up to Jing and he reached out to touch his face as if to confirm he was real. Xiao Liu slightly leaned his head to feel the warmth of his palm.
Xiao Liu walked up to Jing, smiled and sighed. "I'll drink from the gold cup (金櫑), so that I won't miss [him] any longer! I'll drink from the jade wine pouring vessel (彼兕觥***), so that I won't suffer any longer!" From death to life, let me indulge for a moment and forget about those sad things.
Jing suddenly embraced Xiao Liu, gently but tightly pulling him into his arms. Xiao Liu closed his eyes, allowing his head to lightly rest on Jing’s shoulder. In this moment, they were just Shi Qi and Xiao Liu.
* 圭 - A jade ritual tablet like this one:
More details available here: https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%9C%AD
** 璧 - A sacred, ceremonial bi (jade annulus) like this one:
More details available here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bi_(jade) and here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._He%27s_jade
*** 彼兕觥 - A decorative jade wine pouring vessel like this one:
More details available here: https://www.polypm.com.cn/assest/detail/0/art5033598925/34/12
-----
Suggestion 2
And is the second suggestion that the underlined text is WXL quoting from a poem (or set of poems)? In the poem(s), a woman who misses her husband (a king who is away on the battlefield) wants to ride her horse up a high, rocky mountain in order to go see the husband she is missing, but her horse becomes too fatigued to continue the journey. So the woman drinks wine to avoid the suffering of missing her husband.
Based on the details shared by windiaaa041293 in this comment: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2886109&page=391#p2886109
And the details shared by H19279 in this comment: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2886105&page=391#p2886105
-----
Suggestion 3
And is the third suggestion that this is intended to imply that XY is missing someone other than TSJ, but since she can't get to that other someone, she will use TSJ like wine to get "drunk" (i.e., to distract her) in order to help her not suffer due to missing that other someone?
And that that "other someone" must be XL?
-----
IMO, slotting in that text makes the scene feel disjointed and makes it so that it doesn't flow as well as Koala's translation. The idea that WXL would walk up to TSJ and quote parts of a poem at him with a literal meaning that makes no sense (there was no wine for WXL to drink there) and a rather rude non-literal meaning (telling TSJ to his face that he will be acting as a distraction to alleviate WXL's suffering due to missing someone else) seems very odd to me. Especially if TSJ doesn't say anything in response and the text immediately moves on to them embracing and focusing on the idea that, in that moment, TSJ was just YSQ and XY was just WXL. And then moments later WXL leaves the residence.
I note that the drama depicts what was included in Koala's translation. TSJ reaches out his hand to touch WXL's face, and WXL leans his cheek into the palm of TSJ's hand. Then TSJ embraces WXL.
But if I put all of that aside and accept that this is how the scene is intended to flow and that the added line that WXL says to TSJ is intended to allude to those poems with that meaning, then my next thought is that the person who WXL was missing but unable to see due to how difficult it would be to climb up to his position (and thus the reason she required TSJ to distract her from her suffering) at this point was CX, not XL.
For 300 years, XY deeply missed CX. Thinking of him got her through the 30 years that she spent caged by the nine tailed fox. Thinking of him also enabled XY to stay sane when she was enduring the flesh-eating bug torture after CX captured WXL and tried to get WXL to reveal the antidote to the poison that WXL claimed to have used on Ah Nian. When he (a prince and future emperor) was fighting against XL on the battlefield, WXL finally found out that Xuan the wine merchant was CX and used her body to save him, resulting in the heavy injuries that she had just recovered from in this scene.
When WXL leaves TSJ's residence at the end of this scene, WXL goes directly to the clinic. In that next scene, WXL gives instructions to Tian Er because WXL was preparing to leave QS town, and in that scene CX came to visit WXL at the clinic. When CX came, WXL hid the emotion in "his" eyes.
CX was a prince with ambitions of becoming an emperor. He occupied a lofty position far above the lowly status of small-town fertility doctor WXL. XY knew that if she revealed her true identity as XY to CX, she would be forced to return to her equally lofty identity as Eldest Princess Gao Xing Jiu Yao and that it would be nearly impossible to return to being WXL. So the climb up to meet CX was too steep. She couldn't continue towards him. Even staying in QS town was too dangerous. WXL didn't want to risk CX possibly discovering her identity (and she maybe also felt that she wanted to cut her dangerous threads of longing for YSQ/TSJ), so she planned to leave QS town and change her face. She was preparing to continue missing CX from afar.
------
Chapter 6:
Xiao Liu turned and left. Jing reached out his hand but slowly pulled it back, only watching Xiao Liu’s form disappear down the corridor.
It appeared Xiao Liu was recovered but he still couldn’t use any energy and would get tired from just a little labor. But he hadn’t made any money in too long and there was a family to feed. So he couldn’t rest and rushed back to Hui Chun Clinic to see patients.
Xan Tian Er followed next to Xiao Liu and the two were surprisingly in sync. He ordered, she did, and from grabbing medicine to wrapping wounds, she did a great job. She wasn’t afraid of blood or disgusting wounds, and she was so thorough the patients all complimented her.
...
Xiao Liu added “Seeing patients is a form of observation, I think you can learn medicine.” Tian Er raised her head and stared at Xiao Liu.
Xiao Liu added, “Chuan Zi and Ma Zi followed me for 20 years but they don’t belong in this profession. I think you can do it, so if you’re willing then learn from me. I will teach you to treat infertility, and with that skill, no matter where you go you won’t starve to death.”
“Brother Liu is willing to teach me?”
“Why not? If you work, then I can retire.”
Xan Tian Er knelt down and bowed three times and choked up “Thank you, Brother Liu.”
...
Xiao Liu gently said, “Be good to Lao Mu. When you guys die and he’s still alive, make sure your children are good to him.” Xan Tian Er looked quizzically at Xiao Liu but he just smiled. Xan Tian Er appeared to understand a bit and she nodded solemnly. “You don’t need to worry. I will take good care of Lao Mu and Chuan Zi.”
Xuan walked into the clinic and sat down across from Xiao Liu, “Giving final instructions?”
Xiao Liu went to get water and used that to control the emotions in his eyes. He said to Tian Er, “Go to the field to help Chuan Zi.” Tian Er looked at Xuan and walked out.
Xiao Liu slowly drank some water before raising his head and looking at Xuan, “Why are you gracing us with your presence?” Xuan paused. “Why did you save me?”
Xiao Liu laughed, “If you died, then the voodoo bug in your body dies. It took me a lot of work to raise that bug, I don’t want it to die.” Xuan looked at him and Xiao Liu poured him water. “I kidnapped Ah Nian but didn’t hurt her and just teased her a bit. Your men tortured me and I also didn’t let you off easy. Xiang Liu used me as a trap but I saved you. Let’s consider it even, okay?”
Xuan asked, “When are you removing the bug from me?” Xiao Liu thought and said, “When you leave Qing Shui Town.” Xuan’s hands pressed down on the table. “Why not now?”
“You have great ambitions and ought to be leaving town soon. When you leave, I’ll remove the bug. This bug has no ill effects other than when one of us hurts the other hurts. So if you don’t harm me, then you won’t hurt. This is to keep me safe.”
“Fine.” Xuan got up and left, and when he arrived at the door, he suddenly turned around, “When you have time, you can come drink with me at the shop.” Xiao Liu smiled. “Sure.”
Xuan raised his eyebrow and smirked. “And when you’re hurt, you might want to restrain your urges.”
“………..” Xiao Liu was thoroughly confused. When did he ever have urges?
Xuan touched his neck and left with a laugh. Xiao Liu stared confused and then after some time he started to smile. Can I really go drink with you? There was a voice that told him not to, but another said that he was leaving town soon, so if not now then he’ll never get the chance again.
-----
Chapter 10:
“Do you wish to stay here by their side?”
“I’m willing to spend time with them. But I’m lazy now and don’t want to be the Gao Xing Eldest Princess. But knowing my dad, my grandfather, Zhuan Xu’s personality……even Ah Nian that clueless one knows that it’s pointless to go up against them.” Xiao Liu sighed. “If I didn’t reappear it would be fine, but I’m here now so they will never allow me to return to being Wen Xiao Liu. I ran away before not because I was angry at them, but because I knew that once I returned to my real identity it would be harder to leave here than to ascend to the Heavens.”
-----
However, I do think it's possible that TSJ acting as a distraction to XY (so she can momentarily avoid the suffering of missing CX) in this scene is intended to foreshadow the roles that TSJ and XL play later in the story, when each of them take turns distracting XY from the pain that she feels when she misses or feels heartbroken over the other one of them. Tbh, I feel like XL/FFB did a much better job of distracting XY from her suffering / heartbreak. He's the finer wine of the two.
IMO XY did try to open the door for XL. The crystal ball and her wait for him is a clear messageblabla100:
Her hand, as described by TH when XL looked at the crystal ball, was begging, pleading and summoning, there is no way that XL didn't get the message.
Even after the robbery, she asked him when did he find out about her marriage, perhaps deep down still hoping that he received the message late and thus giving him an excuse for why he acted so brutal, but his reply - "2 months ago" is definetely his answer / rejection to the crystal ball.
I agree with this.
Also that scene in QSTown when she kept opening the window, while XL kept closing it, I interpret that as an analogy for her trying, while him not allowing it.
That's interesting. I always thought that this scene (when XL forces the window closed so that XY won't get sick from the cold, even though XY clearly wants the window open) was intentionally juxtaposed with the window scene in the next chapter (when TSJ wants to close the window for the same reason, but XY forbids him from doing so, so he closes the window most of the way so it is only barely open and then gets her a hot cup of tea and a heater as a further set of measures to keep XY warm without disobeying her order) to show how XL and TSJ each handle circumstances where XY wants to do something that could harm her, and XL and TSJ want to protect her from the potential harms of that choice. Just as they did when they interfered with her wedding to Feng Long.
-----
Chapter 32:
When the first snowflakes fell, it was the first snow of the Winter. Xiao Yao reached out her hand but the snowflakes were too wispy and melted the moment it touched her palm.
Xiang Liu walked into the room and closed the window for her.
Xiao Yao opened it. Xiang Liu closed it again.
Xiao Yao opened it again. Xiang Liu closed it again.
Xiao Yao went to open it again but Xiang Liu used his power and Xiao Yao couldn’t open it at all.
Even since she left Chi Sui Castle, Xiao Yao had been calm but now she couldn’t endure it any longer and punched the window violently before glaring at Xiang Liu.
Xiang Liu coolly said, “What kind of person I am, you’ve known all along. Since you dared to make a deal with the devil, you ought to have the courage to accept the consequences.”
-----
Chapter 33:
People here had powers so could dispel the cold but Xiao Yao’s powers were weak so the room had a lot of braziers placed around it in case Xiao Yao was cold.
The room felt muggy so when Xiao Yao walked in Jing immediately stood up but she ignored him and went to open the window. Jing quickly said, “Your hair is not dry yet, you’ll catch a cold.”
Jing wanted to close the window but Xiao Yao yelled, “Don’t you dare!”
Jing quickly pulled the window so that only a small slit was open. Xiao Yao wanted to lose her temper but found that she couldn’t. Jing placed a brazier right behind Xiao Yao and then handed her a cup of magnolia flower tea for her to sip.
------
But I can also see how that interaction (XL closing the window and XY opening it, XL closing it again and XY opening it again, until XL finally forces the window closed) could be seen as a metaphor for their relationship, with XL ultimately forcing XY to cut ties with him. The ending that he thought was best for her in the circumstances.
Speaking of which, that's another window scene that ties XL to her dream from chapter 42.
I previously described why I don't think XY was dreaming of FFB in chapter 42 and why I don't think her dream necessarily had anything to do with her waking up and going to the window in that chapter. Similar to what I said in that previous comment, I would point out that the window scene in chapter 32 does not involve XL knocking on the window and respectfully waiting outside for the window to be opened (which would make it parallel the window scene in chapter 42). Instead it involves XL behaving in an opposite manner (forcing his own decision).
But I do think that there's an interesting parallel between FFB entering through XY's window in chapter 17 and the window scene with XL in chapter 32. In both cases, FFB and XL quickly close the window.
-----
Chapter 17:
Xiao Yao chased the thoughts of her mom away and drank her wine and thought about her dad. She smiled and her feelings told her that her dad loved her very much! She had to be her dad’s daughter!
A person suddenly vaulted into her room from the window and then immediately closed it.
The sounds of the chasing soldiers reached her, clearly they were chasing someone.
...
The man was wearing a mask and silently staring at Xiao Yao,
Her body tensed and her instinct told her this man was someone she knew well. She reached out, and the man didn’t stop her, and she slowly took off his mask. It was Fang Feng Bei.
-----
Chapter 32:
When the first snowflakes fell, it was the first snow of the Winter. Xiao Yao reached out her hand but the snowflakes were too wispy and melted the moment it touched her palm.
Xiang Liu walked into the room and closed the window for her.
Xiao Yao opened it. Xiang Liu closed it again.
Xiao Yao opened it again. Xiang Liu closed it again.
Xiao Yao went to open it again but Xiang Liu used his power and Xiao Yao couldn’t open it at all.
Even since she left Chi Sui Castle, Xiao Yao had been calm but now she couldn’t endure it any longer and punched the window violently before glaring at Xiang Liu.
Xiang Liu coolly said, “What kind of person I am, you’ve known all along. Since you dared to make a deal with the devil, you ought to have the courage to accept the consequences.”
Even before the crystal ball, she tried to open up to him when they had that walk after she found out the name of the bugs, but he kept telling her to go inside, go inside. He didn't let her speak more.
You're referring to the conversation they have in chapter 29 after leaving the restaurant owned by the one-armed veteran whose specialty is donkey meat?
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