Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 H19279:

i was bored and has free time so i was curious at what was going on there. wow i was amazed by the chapter analysis ( just quick look on chapter 8). That comment of the author drew my attention ( showed how well they understand their Jing).

Ah there are post on TH saying the FL’s decision was based on psychological shortcomings. Then they said how comes. They found XY was normal . She was only afraid of being abandoned in the beginning, and some complaints that how TH’s book introductions sounds like YaoLiu’s fans. 

oh yeah...I saw that too, and they just ignored it.
I was worried about leaving you there alone.
Maybe I will quote the poem from the title of chapter 8: it's dark there, why don't you go home?

 windiaaa041293:

Moreover, from the beginning to the end of the book, the only time the heroine uses the word "love" regarding the meaning of love between men and women is to cry about her "unable to love". {Can anyone explain this part?}^^

Are you posing a question here. I made an analysis about this. https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2902991&page=419#p2902991 

This corresponds to XY's monologue about her mistakes that she lost the man she like/love. She used a word [xi huan] as the verb which can means love or like. 

When Ah Nian asked her about the reason for running away from the wedding, she also used this word. 

I found one interesting line about love that she shared with CX in chapter 47

Xiao Yao sighed “Yes, that was Jing’s mistake, but I wasn’t blameless either. I could have handled the matter with him but chose not to do anything, watching from the sidelines and forcing him to prove himself to me. Back then I didn’t know that love can be about one siding giving, staying together requires both sides working at it. We both made mistakes, so we both endured the punishment. It was the first time we both liked someone, so making mistakes is normal. We were simply used by Hou and Yi Yang is all.” 

So, "back then" corresponds to the period before Jing got married with FFYY. What she meaned is she didn't know that staying together required both parties working on it. However what she actually said (in chinese text) that falling in love (相恋) can involve only one party's effort. Jing loved her but she did not need to love him. In term of intensity, 相恋 is somewhere between like and love, literally means attach to each other

 windiaaa041293:

Oh, it was a long time ago and I forgot the link. I read it on zhihu.com, originally I wanted to discuss it in our thread, but I was afraid of being said to be biased towards XL and too roasting jing.LOL

Thank you. If you ever found it again, please drop me a link :-).

I used to avoid discussing Jing since this is a YaoLiu thread and didn't want to create problems with people who like this character. However,  I think discussing other characters shouldn't be something that's taboo. I do try to tone down my sarcasm and snarkiness to keep things more "professional". As professional as I can be when it comes to this character :-)

 windiaaa041293:

The main theme is a bug that has not been corrected after ten years of publication and multiple revisions. If it can prove that Yao Liu is in love, it is a bug.

The Lovers Bugs is a plot device used by Tong Hua for the specific purpose of making explicit the mutual/unchanging love between XY and XL. It's probably the only explicit thing about their relationship because pretty much all of the other details of their love are hidden. If you think of YaoLiu's love line like an iceberg, then the Lovers Bugs is the tip of the iceberg - the observable part - while the rest is submerged beneath the surface. Tong Hua probably anticipated that if she didn't include the Lovers Bugs, then YaoLiu's love line could easily be dismissed. At the same, she probably over-estimated the audience because, despite the presence of the Lovers Bugs, there's still a subset of the audience that dismissed YaoLiu as "just friends".

 windiaaa041293:

Moreover, from the beginning to the end of the book, the only time the heroine uses the word "love" regarding the meaning of love between men and women is to cry about her "unable to love". {

H19279 already provided an explanation. However, do you know exactly the passage that the author is referring to? I always like to be clear about what the author is referring to so that we can discuss it. Otherwise, it could be just us making assumptions.

 HeadInTheClouds:

 windiaaa041293:
Moreover, from the beginning to the end of the book, the only time the heroine uses the word "love" regarding the meaning of love between men and women is to cry about her "unable to love". {
H19279 already provided an explanation. However, do you know exactly the passage that the author is referring to? I always like to be clear about what the author is referring to so that we can discuss it. Otherwise, it could be just us making assumptions.

I read the link that windiaa041293 enclosed. It was like that. No specific excerpt was mentioned. 

Throughout the novel, her monologue in chapter 33 is the only occasion that she mentioned about she loved someone. Other occasion such as when XY talked to A Nian about running away or when she talked with CX about Jing in chapter 47 all referred to her monologue in chapter 33. She never used the word 爱 [ai], she used 喜欢 [xi huan]. or 相恋 [xiāng liàn].

Interestingly that when hearing about the final war with Sheng Nong remnant army, XY recalled the past in Qing Shui Town. She recalled as this "为了帮颛顼解蛊，和相柳做了交易，不想却是心意相通、命脉相连的情人……" - " In order to help ZX removing the poison bug, made the deal with Xiang Liu, unexpectedly in fact heart-mind is connected together, lifeline is connected together as lover... "(literal translation) (Chapter 47)

Moreover, CX admitted to XY that "我喜欢你 " [wo xi huan ni] (XY, don't hate me! I like you! it's not wrong)

Jing had never said to XY that he loved her or liked her. He just said he wanted to be next to her, by her side forever. However, in his thought he loved her. 也许是因为他爱得太深，无法放手让她嫁给别人；也许是因为他心底深处还有不肯死心的期冀 (Maybe it's because he loves her too deeply and can't let her marry someone else; maybe it's because deep down in his heart he still has a hope that he refuses to give up. )

I know that this was previously brought up by I would really appreciate a reminder. Besides leaving out the forewords introducing and essentially explaining the relationships in the novel, was are the differences in the actual text of the novel between the 2013 and 2019 editions? 

I know that in the part where XL killed the Lovers Bugs, there is a slight dialogue change from "blame yourself for being useless" to "you have never asked me". Were there any other changes?

 windiaaa041293:

Fangfeng Bei snatched the bride. What kind of marriage is snatching? If Xiaoyao is not willing to follow, can a Fangfeng Bei really snatch someone away from tens of thousands of people in the Chishui clan? This is an attempted elopement, and she did not run away with the "wild man". In Xiaoyao's own words, " The most fundamental reason why she ran away from marriage was that I didn't like Fenglong ." And the reason why she followed him was, "If you really like someone, no one can stop her." 

I once had discussed about this with @blabla100 https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2908105&page=431#p2908105

With regard to the recent topic of XY's insecurity and passiveness, the wedding with FL was also an example for it. Clearly she did not want to marry FL. 

Feng Long chuckled “That….I was thinking…..my wedding to Xiao Yao ought to be scheduled. My grandfather wants to see great-grandchildren and I’m sure your grandfather does as well.”

Xiao Yao’s heart dropped with a thud, like a person walking on the edge of the cliff suddenly stepping on empty. Her hands started to shake and she quickly clenched into a fist and looked down.

-------

Xiao Yao felt that if her life was exactly as Feng Long offered then it was already such a good life. Chi Sui castle wasn’t very big and was beautiful and serene. Perhaps she can open a medical clinic in Chi Sui Castle, there might not be blissful happiness but there also won’t be gutwrenching sadness. The days would pass in mellow calmness. She wanted to say yes but the word was stuck in her mouth and she couldn’t bring herself to actually say it out loud so she nodded her head.

Feng Long asked “So you agree?”

Xiao Yao nodded again “Yup.”

Since returning to Gaoxing, she could not speak her thought out confidently in such important decision. (Remember she did not say yes to YSQ's deal in the dragon bone prison but only tap the hands). This time, she just nodded her head. How reluctant she was!She had enough reason in her mind for cancellation but she didn't do it. She waited for someone else to taking first action and in this case she hoped XL to "give first". She sent the ice-crytal ball by express with 5 time of normal price. For sure, she wanted the transport was warranty and XL would received it.  

And on the wedding day, if FFB had not arrived there and taken the firt step, she would have proceeded to the last step of the ceremony and become FL's wife. And then what she told Ah Nian about the reason for running away in the wedding is just a way to avoid admitting her cowardice and passiveness

EDIT: In The last immortal, I still see some couples say [wo xi huan ni] and [wo ai ni]. So "I (true) LOVE you" is not so rare to be spoken out.

So, I found this podcast called Sex, Love, Literature done by two English PhDs.  They did a three part podcast on Lost You Forever.  It's not like this thread, but it was interesting to see how relatively unbiased people see the show and what they picked up on ... and what they didn't.

Episode 1 - LYF discussion starts at 15:36 -- spoiler free introduction and reactions

Episode 2 - LYF discussion starts at 7:20 -- XY and CX

Episode 3 - What's Sparking Joy OST 2:23 -- Feng Long, XL, Jing

https://sexloveliterature.carrd.co/