The Shortest Distance Is Round (2019)

STORY: Based off the NOIR version of the film, which is supposed to be the true, intended ending. This is about what happens when things go terribly wrong and a guy resorts to selling his body in the underground of Japan. There are so many sex scenes, kissing scenes, it might as well be pornographic. I'd describe this movie as: very dark, disturbing, horrific, sweet, happy, sad, hilarious, freaky, creepy, crazy, insane, erotic, and so much more.

ACTING: These actors made it look real, the sex, the kissing, even if no private parts were shown. They were not squeamish in the slightest when it came to the many scenes. I spend half the time marveling at what the actors must have been feeling during these make-out scenes. For Riku Mukai, he virtually had sex with the entire cast onscreen--I mean this must have been HOURS and HOURS of takes, getting everything right, all the kissing, rubbing, touching, wow.

MUSIC: I liked the main piano piece, the main theme, but really either there wasn't much or it was so much in the background I didn't hear it.

REWATCH VALUE: I will probably watch the BLANC version next time when I'm in the mood to revisit this, to see how the last 15 minutes differs.

OVERALL: I liked the movie, but it's not a sweet BL by ANY stretch of the imagination. It's much darker, insane WTF movie with a lot of sinister people in it. Not usually my taste, but worth the ride.

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Story: Both Blanc and Noir contain disturbing elements, depicting mostly the ugly world of male prostitution, whether as a host for female customers or as a gay fuck toy for monied clientele. Especially jarring are the numerous instances of sick torture, unreasonable demands, basically shit that the MC and others like him have to go through just to keep themselves alive, and hopefully out of debt.

It is understandable that copious amounts of sex would be involved in a movie about selling your body, but sometimes I don't see why it's necessary the client's backstories are included, like a precursor as to why they seek male companionship in the first place (I especially had problems with the goat story).

It seemed to me the movie is going for shock value with the numerous fucked up scenes, but at least not as mentally disturbing as some other shorts I've seen trying to pass as film noir.

Acting: With their clothes off, they are quite convincing but with their clothes on, not so much

Music: Nothing to write home about

Rewatch: Maybe for only some parts of the movie (just to measure the trajectory of piss-cum), but unless I'm a masochist, then no.

Overall: Watch only if you want to say that you've watched it. Or if there's no good porn left on the net.

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Amazing

This was SO good 10/10. To me, this movie was not hard to get through at all. Have you seen gay porn? Have you seen gangster movies? Yes? Okay.. There is no problem for you.

I have seen Japanese movies that depict the horrible sides of prostitution, but even though the main character is not in good circumstances, I never felt sad or bad for him.

This movie is over the top on purpose. There are no scenes that show the main character feeling bad for himself in despair. The movie does not drag on at all, and there are no serious conversations about the world of prostitution or hosting.

Therefore there are no lessons to be taught from this movie. It's pure entertainment. It's sexy and entertaining.

I recommend it. The acting was great. Camera work is good. The straight client was especially sexy for me, and I am just so tickled by the plot. I promise you will be tickled too if you're not skeemish and don't take this movie too seriously.

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LITERAL WASTE OF TIME!!

*Directly go down my review to know the main reason why I hated this movie.

I'm sorry to say but this movie is a literal waste of time. Both the versions are very dark and senseless.
I've watched few porns with good plot but this movie is really disappointing.
PLOT :
Senseless cuz half of the time you don't get what's happening (except the s** scenes).
CAST :
The story was so dark & depressive that I didn't bother to look for the cast and their acting.
MUSIC :
Okay Okay.
RE-WATCH :
Hahahahh...I could barely it watch for the first time so no chance of watching it again.

*SPOILER*
Actually there's a scene where one person bites the genitals of the other person and that's what made me vomit.
VERY DISTURBING!!

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Welcome to shock value festival

If I had to describe this movie with a single serious word: muddy, it is a clear indiscriminate use of shock value in excess and without meaning.

There are many stories with strong scenes and it is understood because they contribute something to the plot, that is, they play a role within the story that you are telling and establish a part of the universe that you are creating, this film is a huge nonsense, the plot lacks of meaning and it's just a collection of tacky soft porn.

I understand, that they try to represent the world of prostitution, with decadence and violence, but the point is that no scene is there to encourage us to understand the characters, we do not know anything about them and beyond what they do with their bodies do not are relevant, I'm not the type of person to condemn any kind of movie, but I can hardly see that this is a movie since it lacks the most essential of one: plot and development.

And I'm not saying that they can't make a production that includes these types of themes or scenes if you want, that's fine, but at least, make it matter, a 6min scene of sex with a character whose name we don't even know, which is just an extra, which will never matter again and from which the protagonist does not learn or get anything at all.

Nor do I have anything against representing couples with toxic or illegal or immoral (as a teacher-student) behaviors in the entertainment media that's fine, the cinema lends itself to telling any story as long as nobody's rights are violated, but we have the same, this relationship does not contribute anything, there is no criticism or a message or something that can be taken from any of the relationships in this series.

And well, what happens at the end, as I said is nothing more than an endless shock value festival, it was never intended to tell a story and with all the resources that the cinema makes available to create, it makes me sad that there are productions like this, I hope they would worry about creating less morb and more stories that are worthwhile, because that way they could see that one thing does not contradict the other, the difference is that morbid by itself is not a story.

I don't have much to say about the performances, the truth is that it seems that the director was directing some kind of porn, and I don't want to underestimate the work of the actors, maybe they are very good at acting, unfortunately here they didn't have something with it to work.

I don't even want to remember that I saw this and if you want to see it ahead I am nobody to say whether you should do it or not, but I do recommend that you take it easy yes it contains sensitive images and is clearly not appropriate for all ages.

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Hollow

There wasn't enough of an emotional connection (with any character or between any of them) to make up for all the disturbing and shock-value scenes (sexually and non-sexually). Gruesome in parts. It's not philosophical or psychologically interesting either.
I wish I hadn't given it a try.

The "bond" between the student and teacher is thin and forced. Their motivations, especially regarding each other, are weak and shallow. They had very little chemistry. The "romance" is flat and actually had me rolling my eyes a couple times.

The acting was okay but no one was charismatic.

Out of the many sexual scenes, the 2 that weren't disturbing weren't good either. They felt blocked-out and not natural at all. Rather awkward and perfunctory.

To me there was nothing redeeming or in any way enjoyable about this story.

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why are we here? just to suffer?

i read the comments and thought to myself, "hOw bAd caN tHis bE? ???"

the answer is = very bad

in terms of plot, there really is no plot. the start was actually alright but as it progresses, you sort of have your jaw dropping at how nonsensical and ridiculous everything is. if this was some sort of parody of porn, then i would've rated this a tad bit higher. however, this isn't a parody but a movie with dragged out sex scenes after sex scenes till you forget what you came (pun not intended) here for.

overall, definitely a disappointment. one thing that i found funny was the homeless guy. you'll know if you watch.

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japanes "gay" movies have come a long way......not

I've been avoiding anything lgbt japanese (except for manga) like the plague. Why? Because overall quality almost always just makes me cringe. (notable exceptions include Mood Indigo and His (the one with the kids)).

This movie, sadly, is no exception.
We have seen a rise in production quality (meaning cinematography, dialogue, set design, etc) these last few years, but the acting unfortunately still sucks ass.

for those looking for more semi - R - rated content far off youporn and co, you will most likely find what you're looking for in this, there's plenty of kissing (tongue too) and naked make outs. all very soft core (and I am really thankful for that).
the plot is thiiiiiiiiiin. japanese girls bmi thin. almost see through. chemistry is nonexistant.
the music was..uh...porn-y. and that's all I remember about this movie which I just finished 5 minutes ago. horrible

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Dark and boring

I love "darkish" and explicit content, but I was not sold on this one. Both versions left an impact so I am here, writing a review, which happens only when I am deeply affected by something. Do not be fooled by the Noir or Blanc version, the are both really dark.

ACTING is good. Kisses are overall pornographic (I have seen more subtle kissing in some porn movies - I do not mind that). Scenes outside of the context can be defined as very sexual, super erotic and even hot.

STORY is not good. Everything is toxic, dark and not polished to look pretty (which can be defined as real, or raw). However I really didn't like it at all.

CONCLUSION: If you can digest explicit content with smudged boundaries between unethical or ethical, if you tolerate porn and a bit of violence and obscenity go for it. Everything would be okay if the story is okay. Story is not strong enough to hold all the insanity.

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The comments made me watch this! DX

Ever heard curiosity killed the cat? Well this time curiosity killed my psyche! The comments on this made me so curious to watch it i regret my decision. What TF did i just watch O__O This movie was kind of traumatizing. I dont know how the actors did it i wouldnt ever be able to kiss the way they did.... they looked like cows every kissing scene XP. Just overall disturbing! Not for the faint of heart. If you are on the fence about watching this........just........dont! I promise its not worth the psychological damage. Softcore porn with a side of abuse is what your ordering if you decide to watch.

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