After she returned to her true form and regained her identity as the Gao Xing Eldest Princess, she admitted to XL that if she ever saw him again she was planning to pretend she didn't know him.AH :
I see what she said differently. My interpretation is that in her usual cheeky fashion, she did not plan to reveal who she was to him because she wanted to see if he would be able to recognise her in her true form. It was clear that even then, she continued to think of him and prepare poisons in anticipation of the next time they met. And when she saw how distant and unapproachable he was, so starkly different from how they were back in Qingshui town, more so during their underwater stroll not to mention how he braved danger to rush all the way to Gao Xin to save her, it made her heart ache, which goes to show that their relationship still mattered to her. So I cannot see such an attitude as one where she would consider severing it as and when she did leave Qingshui town.
相柳的手好似无意地搭在她肩上，手指轻扫着她的脖颈，循循善诱地说：“你说过的话里还有哪些是假的？不如今日一次坦白了，我不会杀你的。”
“我早和你说过，我只说废话，不说假话。”小夭摊摊手，“我喜欢说话，是因为怕寂寞，如果我满嘴谎话，只会越说越寂寞。”
相柳原本已经变得有点锋利的指甲无声无息地恢复了原样，小夭完全不知道刚才那一瞬她是真正和死亡擦肩而过。
相柳默默地凝望着漆黑的虚空，不知道在想什么，整个人如一把没有了剑柄的剑，锋利孤绝得世间没有一人可以接近。
小夭也不知为何，明明在水面上，可竟然觉得自己好像又沉在了水底，胸口憋闷得很。她突然想起了什么，掏出湿淋淋的荷包，拿出一个小玉瓶，倒出一把五颜六色的药丸，摊在掌心给相柳看，“要不要尝尝？”
Xiang Liu's hand seemed to rest on her shoulder casually, his fingers lightly brushing her neck, and he gently prompted, "What else have you lied about? Why don't you come clean today. I won't kill you."
"I told you before, I only talk nonsense, not lies," Xiao Yao shrugged. "I like to talk because I am afraid of being lonely. If I kept spouting lies, the more I talk, the lonelier I would be."
Xiang Liu's sharpened nails silently retracted, and Xiao Yao had no idea she had been a hair's breath from death in that moment.
Xiang Liu stared silently into the dark void, giving no indication what was on his mind, his entire being like a sword without a hilt, so sharp and alienated that not a single person could get close to him.
Xiao Yao did not know why but she felt like she was sinking into the depths of the water again although she was clearly floating on the surface, and her chest tightened with such heaviness. She suddenly remembered something. Pulling out a wet pouch, she took out a small jade bottle, poured out a few colourful pills and showed them to Xiang Liu. "Would you like to try these?"
-- Vol 1 Ch13
Try substituting "version of XL without ties to the remnant army" for "FFB".
You and I have different difnition of FFB. I look at the context, the way they talk, their attitute to see if he is FFB or XL.
- A pure FFB is the one in Xuan Yuan before he revealed he was XL.
- The time in the Middle Plain he was FFL as some people call. Their intereaction, dymanic between them was different than the period in Xuan Yuan. In this period, FFB and XL was intertwined (but I still can see when he was "XL"). The 37 year under the sea belong to this period but he was XL, a tender XL without hiding under an ice mask. And actually after she woke up, she mostly considered/treated him as XL. The ice crystal ball that she sent is for XL. For example, it was XL in my view in the excerpt in chapter 26. She asked him why didn't change the hair color, she sat on Furball with him and felt like lifetime ago. And she recalled the 37 year under the sea. She said the time that they had was like stealing to be together. With FFB, having time together is normal.
Xiao Yao didn’t move and continued to stare at the ocean. If it was possible, she really wanted to live like this for the rest of her life. ...
“Xiao Yao?” Xiang Liu stood before Xiao Yao. She raised her head to stare at him and smiled “Don’t you feel like today was a day we stole to spend together? That there is only now and no tomorrow!”
- And the rest (before she moved to Xuan Yuan and after FFB was dead) he was XL, too.
She used the "black hair" FFB as the psychological solution to keep hanging with him. Since the white hair XL tied with Gong Gong army, being her family enermy and she was not his first choice. Therefore, the "white hair" represents for XL that she refused in her mind but stayed in her heart (the part in chapter 35 describles it well).
I see what she said differently. My interpretation is that in her usual cheeky fashion, she did not plan to reveal who she was to him because she wanted to see if he would be able to recognise her in her true form. It was clear that even then, she continued to think of him and prepare poisons in anticipation of the next time they met.liddi:
That makes total sense. You're absolutely right that she was still preparing poisons for him.
And when she saw how distant and unapproachable he was, so starkly different from how they were back in Qingshui town, more so during their underwater stroll not to mention how he braved danger to rush all the way to Gao Xin to save her, it made her heart ache, which goes to show that their relationship still mattered to her.
Xiang Liu stared silently into the dark void, giving no indication what was on his mind, his entire being like a sword without a hilt, so sharp and alienated that not a single person could get close to him.
Xiao Yao did not know why but she felt like she was sinking into the depths of the water again although she was clearly floating on the surface, and her chest tightened with such heaviness. She suddenly remembered something. Pulling out a wet pouch, she took out a small jade bottle, poured out a few colourful pills and showed them to Xiang Liu. "Would you like to try these?"
Your translation is pretty similar to Koala's:
Xiang Liu silently stared out at the pitch black sky, unclear what was on his mind, but his entire body was like the edge of the sharpest sword blade, so sharp that no one could get close.
Xiao Yao didn’t know why – she was floating on the surface but she felt like she was sinking into the depths. Her heart ached with this pressure when she looked at him like this, and then she suddenly thought of something and pulled out a wet satchel and took out a small jade bottle. She dumped out colorful pills and showed it to Xiang Liu “Want to try?”
I agree that XY's heart ached when she saw XL's distant and unapproachable side in this scene, but I'm not sure it's totally new to her at this point. It reminds me a little of what XL was like after cremating two of his fellow soldiers. And your comment about juxtaposing his distantness with how approachable he was in their previous encounters reminds me of the similar juxtaposition in chapter 5 between warm, laughing XL and serious XL walking with the lingering notes of a sorrowful song behind him.
-----
Chapter 5:
Xiang Liu softly chuckled, a genuine sound of mirth. Xiao Liu looked at how his cold handsome eyes seemed to melt like the Spring water and Xiao Liu wanted to freeze this moment.
The soldier reported from outside “General Xiang Liu, two more soldiers died.” Xiang Liu’s laughter stopped and he immediately stood up and walked out.
...
Xiang Liu slowly walked back with the sorrowful song lingering behind him. Xiao Liu leaned against the door and watched him walk in the blood red sunset, his white hair and white robe still pristine and untouched. Xiang Liu stopped in front of Xiao Liu, his cold gaze containing a measure of disdain, but it wasn’t clear if it was meant for the world or for himself.
Xiao Liu suddenly bowed. “I wanted to apologize for what I said last time.” Xiang Liu was expressionless as he entered the house. “If the medicine comes sooner, they can live a bit longer. They are warriors, if they are to die, it ought to be in front of the Yellow Emperor’s army.”
Xiao Yao did not know why but she felt like she was sinking into the depths of the water again although she was clearly floating on the surface, and her chest tightened with such heaviness
Some day ago, there was a post that interprets this sentence as XY's feeling through the Lovers' bug. It came from XY's hurt feeling, inner reaction (holding his breath). I found that explanation quite reasonable
You and I have different difnition of FFB.H19279:
Yes, it seems so.
The ice crystal ball that she sent is for XL.
The way I see it, XY sent the ice crystal ball to XL at the remnant army camp in QS town, but she was asking him to come to her and to give her a reason to not marry Feng Long. In the ice crystal ball, the merman was facing away from the mermaid, staring out beyond the world of the crystal ball. The mermaid had her hand extended to the merman, beckoning to him. To me, it feels like she was asking him to turn around. To face in her direction and to take her outstretched hand. To choose her over the remnant army. To choose to be the version of himself that wasn't tied by bonds of affection and loyalty to the remnant army.
For example, it was XL in my view in the excerpt in chapter 26. She asked him why didn't change the hair color, she sat on Furball and felt like lifetime ago. And she recalled the 37 year under the sea. She said the time that they had was like stealing to be together. With FFB, having time together is normal.
Xiao Yao didn’t move and continued to stare at the ocean. If it was possible, she really wanted to live like this for the rest of her life. ...
“Xiao Yao?” Xiang Liu stood before Xiao Yao. She raised her head to stare at him and smiled “Don’t you feel like today was a day we stole to spend together? That there is only now and no tomorrow!”
I agree that XY views the person who takes her out in chapter 26 as XL (she addresses him as XL), but with one very important caveat. In the day and the night that they spent together, there were no reminders of XL's ties to the remnant army. No reminders that XL was her family's enemy. No reminders of all the reasons they couldn't be together. Even his white robes and white hair (which often acted as a reminder) weren't present. No transactions were mentioned. XL/FFB didn't remind her that their time together was temporary. He didn't accept her kiss or her holding his hand, but he did let her hold his sleeve and they had quite a few soft, sweet moments. Overall, XL succeeded in cheering her up and making her feel less lonely.
IMO, this is what XY wanted. To be happy with XL/FFB without all of those other things getting in the way.
When XY says that she wishes XL could be FFB forever, I interpret that as XY meaning that she wishes she could be with XL like that (in the ocean or on land, the location is less important than the manner) with nothing keeping them apart. No reminders of the remnant army or war or anything like that. Just the two of them together and happy.
Edit: One other great thing about their excursion in chapter 26 is that XY finds out that she can breathe under water and swim almost as well XL. Which meant that she could accompany him through the ocean almost as an equal, unlike in chapter 7, when XL had to carry her on his back and pass air to her.
Some day ago, there was a post that interprets this sentence as XY's feeling through the Lovers' bug. It came from XY's hurt feeling, inner reaction (holding his breath). I found that explanation quite reasonable
Xiao Yao or Xiang Liu's hurt feelings?
If it were Xiang Liu's, I don't see it that way, because Xiang Liu would never allow her to sense his feelings and had always shielded her from it, except those times when he was momentarily not in control.
If it were Xiao Yao's, I do not believe the hurt had anything to do with her feelings as she recalled her close brush with drowning. The oppressiveness and tightening of the chest refers to more an emotional response to the distant aura that he exuded, rather than a physical one to a bad memory of drowning.
He could not kill her. If he had done that, both of them would die. Or would he rescue her using one of his lives after that?
At that point in time, Xiang Liu was extremely furious with her because he believed that she fooled him into believing she was something she was not, an identity in response to which he willingly accepted the lovers bug and all its consequences. As such, I am inclined to think that he did not particularly care and he would have killed her, no matter the personal risk to his own life.
He could not kill her. If he had done that, both of them would die. Or would he rescue her using one of his lives after that?
We discussed this a while back.
In my original post, I wasn't sure how seriously we were supposed to take "Xiao Yao had no idea she had been a hair's breath from death in that moment". https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2770421&page=120#p2770421
blimarch said "Yes, me too! I wonder what it looks like in the original language, maybe it is less confusing. But clearly, as angry and heartbreaked as he was, he would have been able to kill her at the cost of losing just one of his life." https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2770791&page=121#p2770791
liddi posted a translation. https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2771097&page=121#p2771097
blimarch replied "Thank you @liddi ! Seems like XL did recanted at the last minute and that he could well have killed the woman he loves..." https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2771111&page=121#p2771111
liddi wrote "You're welcome! Yes, Xiang Liu had been close to killing her because he thought she lied her way in to his heart to gain his trust and make a mockery of himself. She only survived because he believed her, that despite her real lofty position and identity, she was the same person deep down whom he allowed into his own lonely heart." https://mydramalist.com/discussions/lost-you-forever/110123-xl-and-xy-story-and-romance-warning-spoilers?pid=2771115&page=121#p2771115
And your comment about juxtaposing his distantness with how approachable he was in their previous encounters reminds me of the similar juxtaposition in chapter 5 between warm, laughing XL and serious XL walking with the lingering notes of a sorrowful song behind him.
I love this scene so much, both in the novel and the drama - the first time he allowed her to see a genuinely warm side behind the cold mask he always wore, a precursor to the Fangfeng Bei she would be so familiar with not too long down the road, the real unfettered Xiang Liu without his metaphorical mask.
Well, polygamy WAS the standard and acceptable form of relationships at that time.Kokuto:
It depends on your view of love, and how secure one is in that love.
Here's two loopholes:
1) It's the man who has to be in love and not cheat. IIRC, they state woman raise the bugs with the intention of keeping their men loyal.
2) XL controls the bugs, so his love is enough, as long as he doesn't feel betrayed.
Too many maybes with these loopholes. I'm a big believer in the Occam Razor's principles, anything that requires too many convoluted explanations just doesn't pass the smell test. YMMV, of course :-)
It just came back to Tong Hua wanting her cake and eating it too. YaoLiu shippers can point to the Lovers Bugs not turning into Heartbreak Bugs as a sign that XY loves XL, while YaoJing shippers can point to all the intimate moments etc. to support their cause. Scratch the surface and everything just stinks.
Just thinking about all the time that XL has to suffer through experiencing XY's feelings while she's intimate with Jing and my stomach turned. That and her greedy back-and-forth with her relationships just left a bad taste in my mouth. Xiao Yao of course has the convenient "Childhood Trauma Shield" as some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card (can't have our female lead being too unlikeable). She was scared! She didn't know! Yeah, nah! Reasons are not excuses. Characters/people that acted the way XY did would have been deservedly side-eyed.
When Xiang Liu said after removing the bugs that from now on, they will never ever meet again, I hope that will be true.
I think it's time I officially hop off this ship. Lol
P.S. The tone of this post may come across as really angry, I'm really not. I've fun in this thread and enjoyed all debates you ladies get into.
I've also seen "Xiang Bei" :Dblimarch:
I like that too. ^^
I love this scene so much, both in the novel and the drama - the first time he allowed her to see a genuinely warm side behind the cold mask he always wore, a precursor to the Fangfeng Bei she would be so familiar with not too long down the road, the real unfettered Xiang Liu without his metaphorical mask.
100%
Just thinking about all the time that XL has to suffer through experiencing XY's feelings while she's intimate with Jing and my stomach turned. That and her greedy back-and-forth with her relationships just left a bad taste in my mouth. Xiao Yao of course has the convenient "Childhood Trauma Shield" as some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card (can't have our female lead being too unlikeable). She was scared! She didn't know! Yeah, nah! Reasons are not excuses. Characters/people that acted the way XY did would have been deservedly side-eyed.HeadInTheClouds:
Yes, the whole childhood trauma is making me roll my eyes. Who in that time period, in the middle of all those internecine wars, didn't have childhood trauma? Deal with it, go do some yoga, keep prescribing Viagra as she had been doing for 300 years bahahaha
Spare me this nonsense. She deserves that limp fox. Good riddance. I just wish they hadn't dragged Xiang Liu into this mess. Dude also needs therapy with that whole dying thing. He's not allowed to die. I've just passed a new law. Bow down, peasants lolololol
Yes, I'm a villain hahaha
My interpretation is that in her usual cheeky fashion, she did not plan to reveal who she was to him because she wanted to see if he would be able to recognise her in her true form. It was clear that even then, she continued to think of him and prepare poisons in anticipation of the next time they met.
Xiao Yao finally said: "Originally, I planned to pretend that I didn't know you when I saw you in the future."windiaaa041293:
So what she says now is a lie: its just make some nonsense.
I think liddi had it right. XY wasn't lying. She did plan to pretend not to recognize him in the future, but perhaps she would only do so temporarily as a joke / test since she didn't expect him to be able to recognize her.
Do you still remember how Xiaoyao missed Xiang Liu in the previous section?
However, Wen Xiaoliu has completely disappeared. Even if he sees Xiang Liu again in the future, I'm afraid he won't be able to recognize her. Xiaoyao lay on the water and sighed melancholy.
I agree that this scene is relevant / indicative that XY didn't want to never see XL again after regaining her true form.
There are a few other clues in the same chapter.
-----
Chapter 13:
Xiao Yao felt that she must be growing lonely again and forced herself to think of other things. Swimming, swimming…..there must be other things in her life connected with swimming…..Xiao Yao suddenly missed Nine-lives Xiang Liu very much. If he was here, likely she would not have any time to think about the past. But Wen Xiao Liu was gone and even if she ran into Xiang Liu in the future, he would not recognize her anymore.
Xiao Yao floated on the surface and sighed deeply.
...
Xiao Yao started researching poisons again. During the day she went to find the palace doctors to discuss and at night she went to hang out with her dad. Everyday she was busy and it made her feel better. The only regret was that there was no one around for her to test her poisons on.
One night Xiao Yao was in Cao Yao Court admiring the latest poison she concocted, feeling very sad that she couldn’t give it to Xiang Liu.
She took out her most precious mirror and pulled up the memories she saved in it. One was when she drew nine heads on Xiang Liu’s face, and the other was after she moved the voodoo bug from Zhuan Xu to Xiang Liu and walked along the ocean floor with him. She secretly used the mirror to record that moment.
In the dark blue ocean depths, Xiang Liu’s white hair white robe was so elegant and refined as he swam, the white hair billowing behind him, making his already handsome face even more ethereally beautiful.
“Who is he?”
The Grand Emperor’s voice asked and Xiao Yao was so surprised, turning around to discover her dad was sitting behind her and looking into the mirror. He was clearly curious about the man in his daughter’s mirror.
Xiao Yao said, “A friend who is not quite a friend.”
The Grand Emperor laughed. “I thought at this time you would be missing the Tu Shan clan’s little fox.”
Xiao Yao made a face. “Perhaps he’s walking with his fiancee under the moonlight, happy as can be. I’m not an idiot, why think of him?”
...
The Grand Emperor’s hand waved over the mirror and called up the image of Xiang Liu under the sea “Does this friend who is not a friend deserve for you to keep him in your memory forever?”
Xiao Yao took the mirror back. “This is just for fun, maybe I’ll erase it tomorrow.”
...
Back at Ming Se Court, Xiao Yao wanted some water and was about to drink when she sensed and opened the pitcher to find bugs floating inside. She murmured, “Ah Nian, why are you so weak? If you can be as strong and smart as that Nine-headed demon Xiang Liu, then my days would be way more interesting.”
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