Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 blabla100:

@AH 

I am not saying that it wasn't a colletive efort, what I was trying to say is that if not for XL, all of their efforts would have been în vain, they still wouldn't have been able to revive her. BUT, if XL would have reached her în time, XL alone would have been enough to save her, unlike CX and Jing. 

I agree with that. If XL had been close enough to reach XY before TSJ even arrived, there doesn't seem to be anything in the text to suggest that he wouldn't have been able to save her on his own. 

I am really behind on this thread. I read a few posts about people being depressed...

When I was catching up I read a very interesting comparison between the couples posted by @windalaa where it compares XinYue / CX / XY and TSJ / XY / XL and I read this and laughed...

16.Xinyue married Xingxuan, but the marriage was not consummated on the wedding night.

Tu Shanjing married Xiaoyao, but the marriage was not consummated on the wedding night. 

If I remember correctly when CX finally consummated the  marriage he was thinking of XY. Does this imply that when XY consummated her marriage she was thinking of XL.

 MengXiang:

I am really behind on this thread. I read a few posts about people being depressed...

When I was catching up I read a very interesting comparison between the couples posted by @windalaa where it compares XinYue / CX / XY and TSJ / XY / XL and I read this and laughed...

16.Xinyue married Xingxuan, but the marriage was not consummated on the wedding night.

Tu Shanjing married Xiaoyao, but the marriage was not consummated on the wedding night. 

If I remember correctly when CX finally consummated the  marriage he was thinking of XY. Does this imply that when XY consummated her marriage she was thinking of XL.

Haha. I'm  choosing to believe yes (although the though of XY and Jing... ?). And no, I got nothing to base this  on except my pettiness ?

 HeadInTheClouds:

Haha. I'm  choosing to believe yes (although the though of XY and Jing... ?). And no, I got nothing to base this  on except my pettiness ?

We know he just died and she was thinking of him.... If she avoid Jing that's even weirder and what excuse would she give... The person I truly loved just died so we can not be intimate...

It was just some silliness that definitely cheered me up 

 MengXiang:

We know he just died and she was thinking of him.... If she avoid Jing that's even weirder and what excuse would she give... The person I truly loved just died so we can not be intimate...

It was just some silliness that definitely cheered me up 

Well when Jing went missing believed to be dead, that didn't stop her to have some sort of intimacy with XL, lol. 

@AH

"Obviously, on a secondary level, it is also about XY. TSJ is dead. XL did not choose her and even cut ties with her. CX knew about her fear of abandonment, all the hopes she had for a life with TSJ, and her feelings for TSJ, and yet he betrayed her in the cruelest way possible by killing TSJ. And the Yellow Emperor knew, but didn't tell her. Even XL knew, and he didn't tell her for six years. She has "lost everything, and nothing mattered to her anymore"

This I agree with. The fact that she tried to kill CX because she was angry and hurt because he betrayed her by killing Jing I also agree with. But I don't agree that she haven't kept her promise to XL, because she didn't kill herself because of Jing, otherwise she wouldn't have waited 6 years. 

The thing that bothers me is that she didn't think of XL at all before trying to kill herself and it makes no sense whatsoever. I personally can't put it on the fact that she wasn't in a sound state of mind. She had enough sanity to think about Miao Pu and Left ear and arrange things for them.  Should I actually belive that she totally forgot about XL and the bugs that connects them that she didn't even spare a thought on it? It doesn't seem right.  At the end of the day I am not sure if she was dissapointed that she didn't die or dissapointed because it wasn't XL that saved her. One might interpret that she is bitter because she is unable to die because of XL, but I am starting to belive that is the other way around. I mean she was dissapointed when she saw that the figure în white was în fact Lie Yang and she was interested în who saved her. 

"When Xiao Yao woke up and saw the sunlight from the window and the peach blossoms blooming, she didn’t know where she was but she knew she was alive.

Xiao Yao covered her eyes, if she knew it was this hard to die she would have never planted the Lover’s Bug in Xiang Liu years ago!

After some time, Xiao Yao sat up and called out “Anyone there? Where is this place?”

From the red blossoms a figure in white rushed over and Xiao Yao almost forgot to breathe until she saw his green eyes and released a disappointed breath “

.... 

Where is Zhuan Xu?”

“Left.”

Xiao Yao was relieved and asked “Did the Royal Mother save me?”

Lie Yang didn’t answer her, transforming into a white bird and flying away.

Ah Bi walked in with a smile “Your body was fine, the Royal Mother saw that you could breathe underwater so sank you into the lake filled with Jade Mountain spiritual essence and that woke you up.”

Xiao Yao smiled bitterly, such deadly poison couldn’t even kill her. Having the bug connected with Xiang Liu was like giving herself nine lives. But what was the point of living like this?

Let's look at XY's suicide in Vol 3- Chapter 14 (chapter 47) in a wider time scale: 

1. TSJ went missing before marriage in chapter 43. XY still considered herself as married to him and then followed the trap by Seagull demon. Before that moment, she didn't think of suicide. When she was locked in the crystal coffin by the seagull demon, she surrendered, accepted the fate of being killed. She thought Jing had gone in the sea, she could be with him (since her utmost hope for a life-time accompany and a simple life shattered) 

Xiao Yao stared at the sky and didn’t feel any rage at being lied to, or fear at imminent death. Only the sadness of having her hopes dashed. Since childhood she had lived a hard life, her heart always drifting, feeling like she would be abandoned at any time. After her engagement to Jing did her heart settle down, thinking that things would finally change. Who knew Jing left her, even if it was just like her parents when a reason that couldn’t be helped. But she was still abandoned again, and she didn’t want to keep being strong anymore to face a long life ahead. If Jing slept in this ocean then she would rather be here with him.

So, she did not take initiative of committing a suicide. Her first reaction is surrendering the fate. What was her feeling inside the coffin? Watching the sea bed, the fish, asking them if they saw Jing. That is not the mood of suicide at all. Then she thought of Mao Pu's fate --> She didn't want to die anymore and she fought for her life. She promised XL to continue living as transaction for saving Miao Pu. TSJ is not the reason for her to kill herself completely. 

Ah, I forgot that after she was rescued by XL, she kept him, offered him to suck blood (from her neck) and the famous part written as if a "consummation" scene between her and XL 

2. The suicide in chapter 47

 AH :

Feeling completely betrayed by CX (and her grandfather) was also definitely a primary factor in her decision.

Yes, very important factor. He betrayed her by taking her loved one away (her beloved brother and her fiance'e,  her hope for normal life)

"“It was you!” Xiao Yao thought she had experienced every type of pain in the world, but who knew the most painful thing in the world was the person you love taking a knife and carving out your heart. Every part of Xiao Yao hurt, her insides, her bones, her skin, her head, none of the pain she experienced in the past could hold a candle to this. She was in such pain she wanted to die. Xiao Yao closed her eyes, unable to look at Zhuan Xu “Get out!”"

She loved CX more than her own life (it's brotherhood love). He was like her sacred religion for her. He betrayed her. It is the most painful experience for her. Her first reaction (without any consideration) is to kill him because he betrayed her/her belief, not because of revenge for Jing. 

In Xiao Yao’s heart, Zhuan Xu was the closest person to her, so much that she didn’t differentiate between him and her. If he wanted something then she would give her life to help him achieve it. From Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Sheng Nong Mountain, whatever she had Zhuan Xu could have it, including her life. She always thought Zhuan Xu treated her the same way, that if she wanted something Zhuan Xu would get it for her, that if she treasured something Zhuan Xu would treasure it too.

But it was just her wishful thinking! So was she simply wrong about Zhuan Xu, or had he changed?

Later when she calmed down, she knew that her grandfather also helped CX to hide the truth. She lost trust on her relative again. 

" Xiao Yao stared at her grandfather as her body swayed “You knew! You’ve all been lying to me!” Zhuan Xu and the Yellow Emperor were her only blood relatives left, and now both betrayed her!"

 " Revenge for Jing!”

“Will revenge make you happier?”

Xiao Yao said decisively “Yes, revenge will make me happy!” All she thought about yesterday was killing Zhuan Xu and then she would commit suicide and end it all!" 

-------------

Xiao Yao placed the basket before him “I don’t know if I hate you, or I hate myself. Likely I hate both! Because I’ve always been certain that even if you make a mistake I would shoulder half the consequences with you.” .......

Xiao Yao said “That’s why it doesn’t matter what Grandfather says, I still have to kill you because you killed Jing. Do you understand?”

Zhuan Xu smiled and patted Xiao Yao’s head “I understand!”

Xiao Yao handed Zhuan Xu a phoenix flower “After I kill you then I will die with you.”

So, beside the CX's betrayal, XY also blamed herself as one of the cause for CX's crime. She should take half of the consequences with him. So, if she killed him, she would kill herself too. 

Beside revenge, death is her release too because:

• She "lost" all the people that she loved in life: CX had changed not as CX in her mind --> her old  beloved brother didn't exist anymore; her fiancée was dead. In addition, XL whose is her hidden love turned to be evil, super cold and cut off with her (in the previous chapter). In general, she lost all her love ones. 
• There was no place for her to browse since all the world was under CX's control, moreover as Chi You's daughter she would be chased, too --> no place to go

Xiao Yao thought about it, if one could not love and live freely then death would be a form of release. (Chapter 49).  

In the end she still spared for CX. Her death is her punishment for CX.