snowfallsslowly

I'm laughing because we're having 2 conversations at the same time. Yes I feel the same but the question is will it actually happen? I don't have much faith it will.

Which were the situations where she put him first that could've been bad in her favor? All I can think of is her coaxing him when he's being jealous and yielding first because he's just being petty and childish and those actually cost her nothing. I can't even think of a situation where you can say she put him first? Something that's even 10% of the magnitude of her grandpa's rites, even if we don't consider like I said that it's all advantageous to her and she has no other choice at this point but to do it to keep the peace and protect her clan.

Exactly!!!! I'll gladly eat my words if she's the one who either says something like it to him first or says it back but I very much doubt it.

I feel like all those were situations that cost her next nothing, on the contrary it bought her good will from him and goes to the goal of protecting her clan. I do think there's a right and wrong but like you said it depends on how you see it; Him lashing out at her because of his cousin's nonsense? He was completely in the wrong, here? I do believe she is but that's my opinion. Him putting her first means turning his back on his dead family and that costs everything. And it does put in question everything she did in the past because she admitted she never trusted him so all those words and actions were they even real?

True but it's the same thing to him, because they promised they would send help and if they had there's a huge chance all or at least some of them would still be alive. Them dying by their enemies hands is expected since they were in battle, them dying because of their allies? That's unconscionable.

I love these chats as well it's so nice to just discuss things with respect and logic despite our opinions being opposite. I want to see first how she leads the troops it's very confusing in the preview.
And absolutely she's done a lot for the people but my issue boils down to their relationship, just them. Regardless of the people or their families or for him in-spite of their families, his deep hatred for hers and his deep guilt for his like he said look at what he did for her grandpa there's no bigger gesture of love and trust humanely possible for someone in his situation.

I can get over if they indeed show us something at the same level from her of course tailored to her situation and her pov that shows just as much trust and love, that goes against everything she holds dear because he already did the same but I'm not holding my breath. Her leading the troops is her making up for the consequences of her own actions + protecting her own clan and land so it really doesn't say much to me at this point.

I just watched their fight again and I teared up when it's usually really rare for me to cry. He looks so betrayed and heartbroken and no matter what happens even if they win Wei men and soldiers who put their trust and faith in WS as their lord are going to lose their lives because of this. How are they going to just make him gloss over this in a logical way in one episode that by 31 he doesn't care and his declaring his undying love?

She said she's/he's her family as well but that obviously just lip service. It's kind of strange that he trusts the daughter of the clan that annihilated his and loves her to the point of doing what he did for her grandpa and what he did even after this betrayal and yet she's not expected to do the same.

Exactly he's shown he can go even against what most humans would never be capable of for her but expecting her to put a little trust in him is too much?

I'm not saying the power dynamics aren't in play, of course they are. I'm saying as they stand each from their own position needs to show us that love and trust she's been touting for at least 5 episodes. At the end of the day he has and she hasn't. He suppressed it? Of course he did. That alone is a miracle but that suppression resulted in actions such as giving his dead brother's spear to hers, in holding the rites of his sworn enemy, literally what more could he do? This is already beyond what any normal human being is capable of. And this is fiction as people expect a ML to be madly in love and throw away everything for the woman he loves I expect my romantic couples to show equal devotion and love to each other.

This is reasonable but we need to hear it from her and believe it because so far she's been non stop saying how much she loves him, she'll always follow him but in the end that was all bs because her actions in this show otherwise. The only way for me to believe it is her actions and I would see this as her making a huge mistake and learning from it and actually this being her turn to show that she will put him first like he did if it wasn't for the preview telling us he's the one running to her and declaring his undying love... To which she'll probably cry and say nothing and it's all resolved.

It actually is in this situation because he showed his trust and love for her in way that for him is just as hard if not harder. How is him doing everything he did for her any less difficult than it would've been to just tell him the truth about this one thing? How is him saying and showing "you matter more to me than the man who killed my family who I hated since I was a child and was trained to kill for more than decade so much so that I will accompany you in your mourning for him" any less. Of course she's not as powerful as him but he's proven multiple times that he will put her first is it so crazy to expect her to not even do the same but show a modicum of trust.

Reading some comments really makes me think there are 2 different sets of rules for WS and QM.

It's romantic that Wei Shao loves her above all else even his family as shown by his giving of his brother's spear the rites for her grandfather (the cause of so much pain and trauma for him) and even going to protect her clan with half an army (many of which are going to die because of this) because of the tunnel she created VS how of course Qiao Man should put her family first because she doesn't know when he might turn on her when he has long shown her otherwise.

So he can and should let go of his hatred and his pain so far as to do this practically superhuman thing (can anyone say they would hold the rites of the man responsible for their family's death in their own home because they love their spouse so much?) and put her first despite their family histories but she can't do the same (it's not even the same just a little trust)...Okay.

Yeah I just really hope we see her reciprocate the words with ones as heartfelt and idk what the preview is showing with her going to ambush the villain??? Everyone's saying it but the way it's shot and when she says "if he wants to come back together it's okay if not..." doesn't seem like she's going to war so I'm kind of confused??

Hi, this is all in the spirit of discussion I hope you don't find it irksome, I don't begrudge her building the tunnel at all it made complete sense at the time but she should've told him about it after like he said and her response really showed that she doesn't trust him. And of course he benefited from her help what I meant was her being close to him and helping him directly benefits her and her family and it all depends on what happens now, I would agree with you if it wasn't for the previews showing just how lovesick he is, they've basically made him a puppy and that's all dandy if I really thought we'd see her now show up for him in the same way.
You said the real trust begins but he already trusted her and like I said earlier it's just words but what does it actually translate to concretely? It's not like he treated her like shit before once they softened he gave her as much care in his own way. If I thought in the next 7 episodes she'll truly show she loves him more than anything like he has done and that he means as much to her as her family then that would be great but as I said the previews show they're digging deeper into how insane he is about her, chasing her, saying his life would be meaningless without her but will we get the same actions and words from her?

I know this is partly about me and my comment and I'll just add her giving up everything to stay had nothing to do with him it was her love and duty to her family the exact same thing that's causing this mess, she called him her family, said she loved him etc but all along she had that hidden card in her pocket so all of it is in question. I'm not denying her support at all just yesterday I really believed she truly loved him deeply and sincerely even just as much as he loved her but today's episodes completely changed my mind.
You can't say she does love him just as much when her actions say otherwise, when his actions are sooo much more meaningful, she basically betrayed him and he divided his already weak army to protect her family and clan if you add to that the harm they've already done him it's more than any other person would be able to do. Now please tell me where has she done anything remotely close to this or to holding the rites of the person who caused your family's annihilation in your own house because you love the person who misses that person so much?

Yeah because she's the cause for this mess right now? If it wasn't for her tunnel none of this would've happened so her going to Boya for help when not only were these the consequences of her actions but when he's willing to go to Liacheng despite everything is kind of the bare minimum isn't it? I was convinced she really loved him as much as he loved like you said because of all those things but let's think about how her having a good relationship with him is beneficial to her and her family while he gains nothing and even might lose respect for what he's doing. I would've said that it's more than enough except when it came to the big stuff, he trusted her completely but she didn't trust him of her own accord or love him enough to tell him the truth. Also if she doesn't help him and he loses they're all dead including her family so idk I'm going to need a gesture that's in parallel with his actions although I doubt very much it will happen.

That's all just talk though I'm going to need to see her actually act like it, he's done so much recently that showed he did trust her and cherish her above all else like I keep saying the thing with her grandpa's rites shows she's his priority, she's done and said a lot of things but nothing that really shows that as he did putting her above his family basically. They're not meeting in the middle, him chasing her is a metaphor to what their relationship is actually like when it comes to the important things, she can coax him and say sweet words when he's jealous but he can give up his hatred for her and everything else. Their actions when it matters say it all, not the small things that cost them nothing but the big things that are so hard and show just deep love and care beyond anything especially those relating to their families; she's done a lot of the former (so has he) but he's done a lot of the latter and she hasn't.

Chasing her all over? What does that mean? Judging by the preview he's the one yielding despite her being the one who made a huge mistake. At this point I think I've lost hope they'll show us that she really does love him above everything like they did with him in these episodes.

I totally understand that except we've just seen him do things that almost no one should be able to do in his situation because he loves her, let go of his hatred, gave his brother's spear to hers and even in this episode letting her hold the rites for her grandfather. That's sooooo huge letting her hold the rites for the person who is essentially responsible for the loss of his grandpa, brother and father. So the crux of it is he's willing to do monumental things for her that go against everything he knows and holds dear but she's not willing to that or even close.