The Corrupted Wishing Game

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Granted, but they die right away after like 10 minutes or so because your hateful neighbor decided to be petty and sprayed pesticide (?)/ chemicals (?) on them.

I wish I had speed.

Granted, but you spend the rest of your life bored since everything else is too slow for you.

I wish I could decide my future and make the right decision about it.

Granted, but you still cannot control what others do and you are murdered within a few hours.

I wish I could go back in time and live again since I was 5, retaining my memories.

Granted. but the complexity of your current thoughts clashes with the simplicity of that of a child and you are still older, trapped in the limited body of a child.

I wish I could travel to/open up other dimensions where everything is better than here

Granted,  but since those dimensions/worlds end up to be so perfect, and you, coming from  an inferior one, are not, you got locked up in some secret place by the government to perform experiments on you to find out just why you're so unnaturally interdimensionally imperfect.

I wish I could decide the date of my death.

Granted, but you'll only be able to decide it if it's within the next 10 years


I wish I could eat some snacks right now

Granted but it only snacks you hate. 

I wish to have a nice big house. 

Granted but it's located right next to a huge, stinky swamp infested with rodents and pests. 

I wish I could see the outcomes or results of my decisions before I make them, and based on the outcome that I've seen I can decide whether to take that decision or change it. 

Granted, but later you realize that every possible decision leads inevitably to some bad consequences and you go insane :p

I wish I could control my aging process.

Granted, but every time you take control of it it takes away 1 year of your life


I wish I could see someone do real magic

Granted, but after you see them you will go blind.

I wish I could pass my exams 

Granted. But it's useless to find job with it. 

I wish to get marry soon.

Granted. But... just, granted. Your wish gets corrupted by itself and your happiness does not last long.

I wish I could become invisible at will.

granted but you can not turn back visible at will, meaning your invisibility can last just for a minute or for several weeks and you cannot control that


i wish i wasn't so anxious all the time

Granted. but you develop narcolepsy after not getting nervous for five minutes.

I wish it was christmas today.