Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao’s Story and Romance

 Kokuto:

The dude ran up to Haolin with his hair on fire to get a direct answer from XY when she tried to ghost him and weasel out their deal with her identity change to Princess of Haolin.

He also clearly wanted a direct answer after he got the crystal ball and Dear John letter, when he point blank asked her "Who did you want to spend your life with?"

From the very beginning, when he questioned WXL's identity, XL wanted a clear answer from XY and the only time he got one was when she rejected him.

 blabla100:

I personally don't even believe XL ever tried to pursue XY, as FFB told her once, she shouldn't care what's deep in his heart, because they are just temporarily companions, seeking a bit of happiness togheter. I don't understand what makes you believe that he wanted more out of their relationship. Do you see him pursuing XY and make her give up everything, just so he can spend a few days each month with her?

My sentiments lie with Kokuto, in that XL definitely tried to pursue XY. If he didn't, he wouldn't have the need to:

1. Take on the Lover's Bugs.
2. Head to Haoling, not once but twice, to see her.
3. Save her life at all.

I have always believed XL wanted, even if for a short time, some kind of relationship. When XY was WXL, XL had more time and would have been able to woo her. As XY, XL wooed her for a short time as FFB, knowing that they couldn't be together, and that temporarily accompanying each other was fulfilling for him. Knowing that his time is limited, teaching her archery and using the excuse of playing together as payment are not technically separate from his desire to romance her.

I have always argued that all XL ever wanted from XY was her honesty. And since she failed time after time to be truthful with him, XL had no reason to push their relationship further. Like XY, who compromised her desires for her fears, XL compromised his desires for his loyalty. He took to heart two things XY said to him and acted upon it:

1. Temporary companionship is okay and worthwhile.
2. He wasn't suited for her dreams.

Being temporary companions also didn't mean that it lacked romance and the desire to be with each other, nor did a lack of sexual intimacy mean that their relationship was not romantic. What need is there for YaoLiu if XL had no desire to be with XY?

XL's reason for not coming to her during those seven days coincides with CX ascending the throne, hindering their time together and accelerating the end of their companionship. I interpreted this scene within the context of the political environment rather than solely focusing on the assumption that he didn't desire to be with her.

For me, during this time, XY really missed her chance. It reached a point where it wasn't XL who had to give up everything to be with her; it was her who had to give up everything to be with him, and she couldn't. She had almost 100 years to have a relationship with him, and she threw it away the moment she told him he wasn't suited for her dreams.

As with any character-driven story, since XY was unable to make a decision to be with XL, we will never know what XL would have done. Would he have fought harder to stay alive? Would he have thought of a way for them to be together? The demon has nine heads, as conflicted as he is, I'm sure if TH had wanted to write it this way, there would have been a way to write it without compromising XL's integrity.

Aheng said to XY that Chiyou was so arrogant and he never rode into battle thinking he would die. And I honestly believe this is true of XL to some extent, and even XY believed this too. It wasn't until he saved XY the second time that you truly saw his imminent demise.

Regardless of how the story is written, it was always going to be a tragedy.

Maybe I misused that pursue word. What I am trying to say is not that XL didn't want a relationship with XY, but that he already got the relationship he planned with her. I do not believe he wanted or tried to get more out of it, not after she told him that she's afraid to fantasize about him and definetely not after her assassination. I am still more inclined to believe that his laugher after she told him that she's afraid of him walking into her dreams was not because he got offended and took her reply as a rejection (can that even be considered a rejection?), but because he knew that that's already too late, because he had already fallen into her dreams. XY didn't know what bugs the lovers bugs are, but XL knew. I mean he did told her once that when he took the bug in he knew she is useless and can't protect herself, but he didn't know that she's that useless that she can't even protect her own heart. 

 solarlunareclipse:

I sympathize with your perspective, but don't agree that XY changed her identity in order to avoid fulfilling her deal with XL.

I didn't say she changed into Haolin's princess TO ghost XL, but WITH the change, she planned to ghost him.  She told him she was going to pretend to not know him.

 solarlunareclipse:

Whoa, "more pathetic than jing"....those are some strong words. Can't say that I disagree though ;)

I really don't understand what you think makes XL more pathetic than Jing.

 Kokuto:

-100 points for XY for not realizing that XL had already answered this -- at least in the drama.  He accepted the Lovers Bug while they were both sitting in his giant clam shell.

-100 points for being a passive lump!

-10000 points for involving FL in her messy ass romantic dealings. Not cool! Poor dude was like a roadkill on XY's highway of love :-)

 Kokuto:

XY was the first one who SAID, "I don't want a man like you." Waiting until the oh so 'suitable' Jing failed her utterly, made it clear XL wasn't her first choice, and then hedging her bets with the Dear John letter certainly would make any man have doubts about whatever she was trying to say with the crystal ball, much less a proud man like XL. He was a demon, not a doormat.

If XY was sincere she needed to say it openly, just like she said her rejection.

Agreed!

 solarlunareclipse:

Some think that XY should have been more direct in her confession and plea. But the way I see it, XY is doing exactly what XL did for her. XL never openly confessed, nor did he try to force XY into anything; he subtly hinted at his intentions and allowed XY to choose for herself.

The issue here is that earlier on she was the one who said having a man like him walking into a girl's dream would be worse than death. She didn't want to give them a chance for that and other (valid) reasons but chose to give Jing a chance for the very reason that she didn't want to give XL a chance even though Jing was engaged and she might have to wait around for 15 years while he gets his shit together. She had obviously weighed up the gains and losses and chosen the option that she believes had a better return. Now that her investment turned out to be bad, and she wants to start something with XL, she's going to have to go all out to make up for the previous "rejection". Maybe hiring a band and a flash mob would do the trick :-). But it has to be clear and leave no doubt about her intentions. A crystal ball on the eve of her marriage to another man, ain't going to cut it. That just screamed, "I'm not quite sure and hedging my bet". I wouldn't take that bait. What if years down the track when the going gets tough, will she be resentful and blame him for making her life worse than death? Who wants to deal with that?

I would like to add that her accepting Jing's proposition is totally fine. With her issues, it makes sense why she would be reluctance to explore things with XL. Although, getting involved with an engaged man ain't a good look and speaks to her impaired judgement and moral standards. And I'm also not saying that if she has been less passive that would mean a happy ending for her and XL. XL would also need to do his part. It's about her decision making process, what action she took and how that comes across. Does that makes sense?

The Air Kiss Refusal

Xiao Yao refused to kiss Xiang Liu for air the first time they met after she regained her identity as Gao Xin's eldest princess. When Xiang Liu asked her why she refused, she replied:

“我哥哥，就是玱玹了，有一天晚上我们聊天时，他笑我毕竟还是个会做梦的女孩子。虽然只是、只是……可我怕一不小心，你会走进我梦里，而你……"小夭摇摇头，"绝不适合出现在女孩子的梦里，那只怕真的比死还可怕。”
“My brother is Cang Xuan. One night while we were talking, he teased me, saying that I'm still a girl who dreams. Even though it's just... just... I'm afraid that if I'm not careful, you'll walk into my dreams, and you…” Xiao Yao shook her head, “You're absolutely unsuitable to appear in a girl's dreams; that might be even scarier than death.”

— Vol 1 Ch 13 (Chapter 13)

Upon close examination of Xiao Yao's words, we discover that she touches four reasons for her refusal to kiss Xiang Liu.

(1) My Brother Is Cang Xuan

At that time, Cang Xuan was the most important person to Xiao Yao. It was Cang Xuan whom she thought about when she was locked in a cage by the nine-tailed fox. Ironically, it was Cang Xuan whom she thought about while being tortured by Xuan’s men. It was Cang Xuan whom she saw as her life flashed before her eyes when Xiang Liu almost killed her for foiling his assassination attempt on Cang Xuan. Xiao Yao valued Cang Xuan more than her own life.

在小夭心里，她和玱玹至亲至近，无分彼此，只要玱玹想得到的，她一定会不惜一切代价帮他去得到，所以从五神山到轩辕山、从轩辕山到神农山，但凡她所有，玱玹都可以拿去用，包括她的性命。
In Xiao Yao's heart, she and Cang Xuan were extremely close, inseparable from each other. Whatever Cang Xuan wanted, she would spare no effort to help him get it. So, from Five Gods Mountain to Xuan Yuan Mountain, and from Xuan Yuan Mountain to Shen Nong Mountain, anything she had was at Cang Xuan's disposal, including her life.

— Vol 3 Ch 14 (Chapter 47)

When their grandmother died, Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan vowed in front of their family to always take care of each other. Xiao Yao took that promise to heart and did everything in her power to protect him.

“外婆去世时，我们当着我娘、大舅娘、朱萸姨的面发誓会照顾彼此，不离不弃。我做到了，可你没有做到！哥哥，你没有做到！”
“When Grandmother passed away, we vowed before my mother, eldest aunt, and Aunt Zhu Yu that we would take care of each other, never leaving or abandoning one another. I kept my promise, but you didn't! Brother, you didn't keep your promise!”

— Vol 3 Ch 14 (Chapter 47)

The statement, “My brother is Cang Xuan,” touches on the fact that Xiang Liu is on opposing sides with her family, especially Cang Xuan. Xiao Yao valued Cang Xuan more than her own life, and she adamantly refused to even consider betraying him.

(2) I’m Still a Girl Who Dreams

What do little girls typically dream about? Before they even know what true love is, little girls dream about marrying a handsome prince and living happily ever after. Xiao Yao was not a little girl anymore, but the instability and fear she suffered during her formative years, along with her insecurities about being unwanted, caused her to overvalue security and undervalue matters of the heart. What Xiao Yao wanted most was a lifelong companion who would put her first and ease her loneliness.

玱玹问：“你想要什么样的男人？”
Cang Xuan asked: “What kind of man do you want?”

“能做伴过日子，打发寂寞。别的都不紧要，关键是绝不能有其他女人，否则我一定阉了他！”
“Someone to keep me company and pass the days, to alleviate my loneliness. Nothing else matters much, but the key is he definitely cannot have another woman, otherwise I will definitely castrate him!”

— Vol 2 Ch 9 (Chapter 26)

The promise of a quiet life with Shi Qi was appealing to Xiao Yao. Shi Qi took care of her and promised to put her first. Jing understood Xiao Yao’s deepest desire and used it to extract a fifteen-year promise from her.

“小六、我、我……我知道我有婚约在身，没有资格和你说任何话……我也一直不敢想……可、可是……我会取消婚约，我一定会取消婚约！你等我二十年……不、不……十五年，十五年，你给涂山璟十五年，十五年后，涂山璟还你一个叶十七。”
“Xiao Liu, I... I... I know I am engaged and have no right to say this to you... I've never dared to think... but... but... I will call off the engagement, I will definitely call off the engagement! Wait for me for twenty years... no, no... fifteen years, fifteen years, you give Tu Shan Jing fifteen years, after fifteen years, Tu Shan Jing will give you back a Ye Shi Qi.”

— Vol 1 Ch 8 (Chapter 8)

So, the statement “I’m still a girl who dreams” communicates Xiao Yao’s desire for a lifelong companion who would put her first. This is a role that Xiao Yao knew Xiang Liu was unwilling to play due to his loyalty to Hong Jiang and the Shen Nong Remnant Army. Moreover, this statement also encompasses Xiao Yao’s fifteen-year promise to Jing, who vowed to fulfill her dreams for a lifelong companion in exchange for not letting another man into her heart.

(3) I’m Afraid You’ll Walk into My Dreams; That Might Be Even Scarier Than Death

Xiao Yao mistrusted and was afraid of love. She was afraid of falling in love only to have her lover abandon her. To her, that situation would be scarier than death. In a conversation with King Xuan Yuan, Xiao Yao voiced this fear and explained how she defended against it.

“也许我一个人的时间太长，我一直很想找个人陪伴，不是指嫁人，就是一起生活，分享苦、分享乐，即使吵吵闹闹，至少不用自己和自己说话，可我胆子很小，你想啊，我的亲祖父、亲爹、亲娘都能因为这个那个的原因放弃我，我又能相信谁不会放弃我呢？我和孤苦无依的老者相伴，我收养孤儿，他们需要我，不会抛弃我。”
“Perhaps I've been alone for too long. I've always wanted to find someone to accompany me, not necessarily in marriage, just to live together, share joys and sorrows, even if we argue, at least I wouldn't have to talk to myself. But I lack courage. Think about it, my own grandfather, father, and mother could abandon me for this or that reason. Who can I trust not to abandon me? I stayed with lonely and needy elders with no one to rely on, I adopted orphans; they needed me and wouldn't abandon me.”

— Vol 1 Ch 16 (Chapter 16)

Xiao Yao was well aware of the fate of the Shen Nong Remnant Army. After watching the moon rise from the surface of the ocean, she said to Xiang Liu:

“自从小炎灷掌管中原，我听说中原已经渐渐稳定，轩辕王迟早要收拾洪江将军，天下大势已经不可逆，不是个人所能阻止，我看你尽早跑路比较好。”
“Since Xiao Yan Zhuan took charge of the Central Plains, I heard that the Central Plains have gradually stabilized. King Xuan Yuan will sooner or later deal with General Hong Jiang. The general trend of the world is irreversible and cannot be stopped by one person. I think it's better for you to escape as soon as possible.”

— Vol 1 Ch 4 (Chapter 4)

Now let’s reexamine the statement, “I’m afraid you’ll walk into my dreams; that might be even scarier than death.”Whether or not Xiao Yao realized she loved Xiang Liu at this point, she knew she had strong feelings for him. Xiao Yao was well aware that Xiang Liu’s loyalty to his adoptive father and his men would mean he would likely die on the battlefield one day and leave her behind. To her, the fear of being abandoned by her lover was even scarier than death.

(4) You’re Unsuitable to Appear in a Girl’s Dreams

What types of boys do parents warn their daughters to stay away from? Bad boys. Boys who don't treat the girl well, don't have the girl's best interests at heart, or don't truly love the girl. Xiang Liu had a temper and often had cruel punishments in store for Xiao Yao when angered. He had her whipped to force her to work for him, forcibly drank her blood the first time she teased him about his nine heads, caused her to fall from a tree when he became jealous, and considered killing her on several occasions, including earlier during this very encounter because he felt betrayed by her deception. Perhaps the most heart-breaking incident was when Xiang Liu became enraged after she suggested that he betray Hong Jiang and change his loyalty to King Xuan Yuan.

相柳睁开眼睛，一双妖瞳，发着嗜血的红光。小六被他视线笼罩，身子被无形的大力挤压，完全动不了，鼻子流下了血，指甲缝里渗出血。
Xiang Liu opened his eyes, revealing a pair of demonic pupils glowing with a bloodthirsty red light. Xiao Liu was enveloped by his gaze, his body crushed by an invisible force, completely immobilized. Blood trickled from his nose, and blood seeped from beneath his fingernails.

“我……错……错……”
“I was wrong...wrong…”

相柳闭上眼睛，小六身子向前扑去，软趴在雕背上，好似被揉过的破布，没有生息。直到快到清水镇了，毛球缓缓飞下，小六才勉强坐起来，擦去鼻子、嘴边的血，一声不吭地跃下，落进河水里。
Xiang Liu closed his eyes, and Xiao Liu's body was thrown forward, feebly lying on the condor’s back, like a lifeless used rag. It wasn't until they were close to Qing Shui Town that Mao Qiu slowly descended, and Xiao Liu managed to sit up, wiping the blood from his nose and mouth. Without a word, he jumped off and fell into the river.

— Vol 1 Ch 4 (Chapter 4)

Xiang Liu’s sometimes cruel and indifferent treatment of Xiao Yao caused her to be insecure about his feelings for her. In Qing Shui Town, Xiao Yao had sincerely opened her heart to Xiang Liu. However, in her eyes, Xiang Liu didn’t appreciate her sincere affections. When she hinted to him that she wanted someone beside her to give meaning to dead scenery, Xiang Liu didn’t respond. After they transferred the voodoo bug into Xiang Liu’s body and Xiao Yao hesitantly reached out to touch his chest, feeling their hearts beating together in harmony, Xiang Liu did nothing to reciprocate her vulnerable gesture. Inside Dragon Bone Prison, Jing, who knows Xiao Yao’s heart well, expressed her perspective:

“我知道你不会给自己希望，不会先信任，不会先投入，桑甜儿愿意用虚情假意去赌一生，你却即使是真心实意，如果对方不珍惜，你也会舍弃。”
“I know you won't give yourself hope, won't trust first, won't invest first. Sang Tian'er is willing to gamble her life using false affection, but you, even if you are sincere in your affection, if the other person doesn't appreciate it, you will give up on him.”

— Vol 1 Ch 8 (Chapter 8)

Not only did Xiang Liu’s cruelty and indifference cause Xiao Yao to be uncertain about his feelings towards her, but it also caused her to question whether he would be a good choice for a lifelong companion. Even if Xiang Liu did have feelings for her, she did not believe that a ruthless person could be good to her for her entire life.

“一生很漫长，会发生太多变故，我相信只有本性善良的人才有可能善良地对我一生，即使我犯了错，他也会包容我。我不相信一个对世人皆狠辣的人会只对我例外，我还没那么强大的自信和自恋。”
“A lifetime is very long, with too many unforeseen events happening. I believe that only those who are inherently kind-hearted can treat me kindly my entire life. Even if I make a mistake, he will still accept me. I don't believe that someone who is ruthless to everyone else would make an exception just for me. I’m neither that confident nor that self-absorbed yet.”

— Vol 2 Ch 7 (Chapter 24)

Let’s revisit the statement, “You’re unsuitable to appear in a girl’s dreams.” In Xiao Yao’s mind, Xiang Liu had demonstrated the capacity to be cruel towards her, did not reciprocate her sincere affection for him, and would not forgive her in the future if she ever made a mistake. Clearly, he was not suitable to appear in her dreams.

For these reasons, Xiao Yao resolved to cut Xiang Liu out of her life and refused to kiss him. Xiao Yao agreed to the 15-year promise proposed by Jing, in part because she wanted to preemptively curtail her feelings for Xiang Liu. She didn’t realize at the time that she couldn’t control matters of the heart with willpower. After Jing got married and was unavailable to help Xiao Yao cope with her overwhelming feelings of love and longing for Xiang Liu, Xiao Yao admitted to Cang Xuan:

“我以为一切都在我的掌控中，可原来，感情是不由人控制的。”
“I thought everything was under my control, but it turns out, emotions cannot be controlled.”

— Vol 2 Ch 9 (Chapter 26)

For better or worse, Xiao Yao’s words during this fateful encounter, where she refused to kiss Xiang Liu, would set the course of their relationship. Xiang Liu would remember and replay Xiao Yao’s words until he understood their meaning. When he realized how important Cang Xuan was to Xiao Yao, he let her know that he would stop his attempts on Cang Xuan’s life. Because Xiao Yao told him she was worried about him appearing in her dreams, he presented himself as an unreliable, never-do-well playboy who was unsuitable to be a lifelong companion. Additionally, because Xiao Yao had previously mentioned outside of Dragon Bone Prison that she didn’t want to owe him too much, going forward, he would try to hide or disguise everything he did for her as transactions.

When Xiang Liu understood why Xiao Yao thought he was unsuitable to appear in a girl’s dreams, he set out to make up for his past mistakes. As Fang Feng Bei, Xiang Liu would be good to Xiao Yao, attentively accompanying her, considerately taking care of her, patiently teaching her archery, graciously forgiving her mistakes, and uninhibitedly declaring his attraction to her. Unlike his indifferent attitude when Xiao Yao first discovered their hearts beating together after the voodoo bug transfer, when Xiao Yao placed her hand on Fang Feng Bei’s heart outside the slave death match arena and noticed how their hearts beating as one, Fang Feng Bei closed his hand around hers, smiled, and said:

“是啊，好像真的在一起跳。”
“Yes, it seems like they’re really beating together.”

— Vol 1 Ch 16 (Chapter 16)

Sadly, as Xiao Liu once said to Xiang Liu under the moonlight:

“和睦时光总是短暂，就如人世间的欢愉总是刹那。花开则谢，月圆则亏，但凡世间美好的东西莫不如此。”
“Harmonious moments are always ephemeral, just like the happiness in the world is always fleeting. Flowers in bloom fade, the full moon wanes, but this is the nature of all beautiful things in the world.”

— Vol 1 Ch 7 (Chapter 7)

When Xiao Yao nearly died during the Plum Forest assassination, Xiang Liu finally understood the depth of despair that Xiao Yao would feel when he left her behind. During 37 years at sea, he resolved to let her go and help her prepare to live without him. When he understood Xiao Yao’s wish for a lifelong companion, he did what was in his power to grant her wish, even though that lifelong companion wouldn’t be him. Xiang Liu loved Xiao Yao selflessly and took her words to heart, striving to give her the safe, happy, and worry-free life he believed she wanted.

 windiaaa041293:

can anyone tell me where this is coming from?

From weibo.  The weibo address is on the bottom right hand corner.

 windiaaa041293:

can anyone tell me where this is coming from?

It is originally from Baidu, a Chinese wiki equivalent, where users can go in and edit the entries.

高辛玖瑶 Gao Xin Jiu Yao

Another entry is Xiao Yao's, which refers to the drama version.

小夭 Xiao Yao

In both Baidu pages, Xiang Liu is described as 挚爱, meaning true love.

 solarlunareclipse:

The Air Kiss Refusal

I can't say I agree with much of this in specific.  And #4 I strongly disagree with from the characterization of both XL and XY.  But thank you for the step by step breakdown.