Stockholm Syndrome with a Dash of Homophobia

I went into this with so much high hopes. I love Singto. I really do. He’s a great actor and has great screen presence. I also heard good things about this series and thought ok I’ll give it a shot. And right out of the gate the whole thing goes to shit when the hazing starts. I don’t know about anyone else but having had experience with the hazing system in the US Greek System romanticizing hazing as a way to advance a romance is disgusting. People are permanently harmed and die each year due to this system. That aside lets get into it.

First off I will not fault Krist for his acting like a dick. He does it well in this movie. What he doesn’t do well is to show that he has any romantic feelings for Singto. He acts more like a 12 year old with their first girlfriend than a mature adult discovering that they’re gay and all the awakening feelings that go along with that. I know what you’re going to say - but this is just a show. Yes, I know it is. But for god’s sakes its a freaking BL romance. Let’s at least put some effort into this. And don’t get me started on the kissing scene. Krist looks like he wants to be anywhere but there and knowing his homophobic feelings I can see that on screen. These two are more just close friends than any kind of romantic partners.

The one thing I do like about this series is the fact that the few openly gay characters do not have the typical over the top played for laughs Queen behavior. There is one very flamboyant man but he doesn’t try to scream and act like a walking cliche. And one member of the inner circle is gay and they think nothing of it. This at least lends itself to his friends accepting his homosexuality right up until they exchange the leather cords at the end. You can see the friends making fun of it in the background.

All this being said I have NO hopes for the new GMMTV BL with Krist and Mike being anything more than a rehash of Krist’s disgust with performing in a BL and inability to relate to the gay characters. Let’s please stop using homophobic actors who actively hate BL and do harm to the LGBTQIA+ community at large. Instead let’s please use respectful actors, especially gay actors, and write realistic gay romance that everyone can enjoy. #maxtulforever

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So well written and acted

I went into this drama not quite sure what to expect. The synopsis was interesting so I thought I'd give it a try and it did not disappoint. So let's dive into it.

First things first - I am a newcomer to the world of BL. As a queer person myself queer media is important. BL however is not a good representation usually of what queer life is really like. I know this and accept it. I just go about my way and enjoy it for it's entertainment value and try not to get too wrapped up in the other things. Obviously there are some hard no things for me - SA is a hard no for me. Certain questionable plot devices I can overlook because they're not super annoying.

Storyline:
After enough engineer University BL to kill a large herd of elephant the storyline of this BL is unique. There may be an engineer university involved but it's used only to provide that the plot is overused in the industry. Who hasn't seen this plot over and over again and isn't tired of it? When first meeting Sib he seems like any other BL actor (either written or acted) but over the course of the 12 episodes and the growth of both the actor and the character we see that this is not just a story about a writer falling in love with an actor but of flawed individuals coming to term with their own realities and the world around them that is trying everything in their power to destroy their lives. In this mix we see the high price paid by actors in the industry when trying to live private lives while still having to promote in the toxic fan service ship culture. Gene is in such denial of who he is in the beginning that the dinner with his friends causes so much pain that he has to numb with enough alcohol to drown that pain. Over the course of this series and these character lives only the surface of what these actors have to deal with on and off screen is explored. I feel like there were areas that weren't dealt with more in-depth due to the fear of alienating the audience who would rather live in that fantasy of these actors having real life relationships offscreen. The end of this series made so much sense with the actors disappearing and only the woman writer left because at the end of the day characters aren't real, series end and actors go back to their real lives. What a beautiful way to tell people that what they see on screen is not real.

Acting:
I have one word for this - BRUCE. My god can that man act. Every scene of his, every smirk, every lip wobble, every word, every tear he sold that role with his entire soul. I hated that character so much I wanted to reach into the screen half the time and throttle him. The character got exactly what he put out into the world returned to him 1000% but in the end it was so painful to watch. I wanted him to grow out of this behavior but he was so damaged that it was impossible at that time. I see nothing but good stuff for this actor in the future. Please someone give him some main roles where his acting skills won't be wasted. As for Kai, I saw so much grown in him between UWMA and this role and I'm so happy to see it. I enjoyed him in UWMA but he didn't sell the character to me in the end. However, in this series he sold this character so much better. He stumbled in the beginning but once he got his feet under him and began to really mesh with Up and the storyline his acting got better and better. Up as Gene was enjoyable to watch. I didn't see him as a breakout actor in this series as he seemed to have two emotions - blank faced or crying his eyes out. There wasn't much else to his role and I would have liked to see more. Nu as Gene's father was a standout as actors who play parents. So may parents in these BL are just no entities; they exist just as a way to try to stir emotions in the audience. I felt the anguish his father went through having deny his own homosexuality as a young man. I felt the fear that he had for his own child. I didn't feel that the character loved Gene's mother any less because he was bisexual and that's because Nu could act well and showed that depth of character.

Music:
Nothing special about the music; it was basic run of the mill BL music so nothing stuck in my head.

Re-Watch Value:
While this was an enjoyable series it's not something I would rewatch.

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No words spoken, none needed

There were nothing but feelings and music for 4 minutes and it evoked a feeling of such bittersweetness in my heart that by the end I had tears leaking. For anyone who has fallen in love with their best friend they will understand this feeling. I would have loved to see this as as series but the impact would be lost. The story was told so completely in the small amount of time used that a full length series would make the impact lessen. The ending as with most of life is open-ended. Decide for yourself what the last lines mean. For each of us those lines could be both happy or sad. I think that’s the beauty of this piece.

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Good Foreshadowing

This was a perfect side story in that it was a good foreshadowing of events to unfold in Season 2. Nothing remains the same. Everything will change over time just as their relationship will. It’s always a question on whether we grow with those changes or if we try to hold on to what once was instead. That change between being in love as a teenager into the relationship as an adult can be fraught with moments of exquisite joy and heartbreaking pain and this piece showed with them riding around together in the motorbike visiting all of the places that have changed over the time from their childhood to the moment on this cusp of adulthood. I highly recommend watching this as a movement between the two seasons.

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What Do I Say That Others Haven't Already?

It's taken me quite awhile to gather my thoughts about this show to be able to write a coherent review. I had to have time to let go of some of the remembrance of my own coming out and what my feelings were like. The pain was too real watching this unfold on the screen. So now that I've had several weeks put behind me here we go.

The story is fairly straight forward and rather mundane (barring Teh's audition in the beginning) in the beginning that it really set the stage for what builds up to the relationship between Teh and Oh-aew later on in the series. This isn't so much an enemies to lovers story as it's a story of best friends falling out and coming back together and then falling in love on a rollercoaster ride of emotions faced by so many gay youth but especially gay youth growing up in a conservative society such as Thailand.

The strength of this series lies not so much in the story itself but in how it's told through the two actors and their relationship to the roles and to each other. Billkin in particular in his portrayal of Teh shows the depth of anguish coming to terms with who you are and who you love when it's outside of who you thought you were.

PP as On-aew on the other hand broke me. He knew who he was and knew who he loved. He was willing to be out for that love but wasn't given the same in return. The rejection he kept having to endure over and over again when he reached a hand out was so heartbreaking it was almost too painful to watch. But I felt like stopping would have been a disservice to the actor and the character he was portraying. So I continued on and I'm glad I did.

The end result of this series was a healing of sort for both characters. On-aew was able to heal the rejection he was feeling and was able to feel loved. And Teh was able to heal the fear he was feeling and was able to accept On-aew's love and to give his freely in return.

This was not an easy story to watch. A lot of painful memories were brought up for me afterwards and I spent a lot of time talking to my best friend as we both went through similar things when we went to school together (he as a gay man and me as a queer woman). That talk and this series were both healing for me as well. I recommend that if you are a gay individual that you have a support system in place when facing these things because they can be really difficult. And if you choose to watch this beautiful series please make sure to treat yourself and your experiences kindly.

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