will probably never get over this

i watched this when it came out on netflix and its been two whole fucking years and a ton of discussions about it and a whole ass poem inspired by it on my part and still, i'm not really any close to getting over whatever this was. may be because, in some ways, i can relate to it. even a tiny bit. it makes me cry everytime. jia han and birdy make me cry everytime. i see myself in birdy the most. maybe i just projected onto him, lol. but, i could understand his whole journey: how he went from resisting and standing up for what he believed in to finally giving up and blending in. you only do that when something hits close to home and realize: fuck, things really aren't going to change, are they? the way they could've been together if they'd only been born a few decades later is so bittersweet. i love them. i love this. i want to give teenage jia han a big old hug. and i'm so thankful for the director for making this and the writer for writing those dialogues and the actors for doing the best job ever. i seriously will probably never forget this and i'm glad i won't. this doesn't deserve to be forgotten.
P.S i am superrr pissed this has lower ratings on here than bad buddy wtf???? i love bad buddy, but you know.....

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xiang!hao!ting!

okay, im obssessed with xi. fight me. sue me. whatever. im pretty sure his character was flawed and he obvs did some slightly questionable things, but he's in highschool and young and in love and yes this is the worst defense ever but sorri i love him way too much. this show may not have been that special on its own, but my really unhealthy attachment to himbo guy characters with (or without) dimples made it so. well, that and the fact that it was really well made. and yes, i will fight you on this too. it was nice to watch and i think it executed the high school romcom story in a really raw way. it was just....kids being dumb and yes the ending sucked and wtf was wrong with sun bo? but yes, kids being dumb and then a bit of life being a bitch. i like it when things just are. this just....was. i don't know. it was simple, it was annoying, it was sweet. it was realistic. it was awkward. hao ting was a giant puppy. the acting was WOW. especially wayne's. also, chun chih's. and i have a huge crush hao ting's sister. she is the cutest. the only thing i have a proper bone to pick with is the whole "im not into guys, just yu xi gu" charade hao ting had going on. like shut up, ur bisexual. or pan. or whatever. i love you! please don't cry. yu xi gu rlly did deserve better, poor sod. stalking people is also not cool, xi!

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