This Series Doesn't Know What It Is

I have a lot of trouble rating this series. I think it did some things okay, dropped the ball on some, made some really poor choices on some things and tried to talk about rarely discussed topics. However, the series as a whole lacked focus in a big way which resulted in it not doing any of the things it was trying to do particularly well.

Playboyy attempted to be dark and edgy by dealing with the sex industry, for which I applaud it. However, there were too many moving parts. Some people had a problem with the sheer size of the cast and felt they could not connect or understand many characters as a result. I didn't share that issue, personally. However, the show simultaneously tried to have a murder mystery, a commentary on the sex industry, commentary on drug use/addiction and how that can overlap with said sex industry, the reality of being gay in a society where discrimination for being part of a sexual minority is the norm, power dynamics, grooming/sexual abuse, and normalization/acceptance of different types of sex and sexualities. I'll address what was supposed to actually be the plot of the series last.

The focus on the sex industry only felt present in the beginning of the series. We see the main sex worker characters all get out of the profession for the most part. Soong does this back and forth dance with continuing sex work and having his relationship with First, Ultimately the relationship wins over the sex work and while I give them some credit showing his struggle to make money in legitimate ways this portrayal feels so inauthentic and unrealistic. We have no idea what happens with Teena. At the start of the series there's a sense of Zouey being a sort of mark and him planning to continue to work as a sex worker like the rest but ultimately he just become's Zouey's boyfriend. Jump keeps up the sex work as much as he can until he's blackmailed by Porsche. They could have done a lot with this pair and how sex workers can be taken advantage of so easily without any protections or recourse, but they didn't. We never see sex work from Prom's perspective. Phop is saved from sex work by Nuth by becoming a drug dealer. Again, this could have been a very interesting thread to explore but the writers failed to do so. That leaves Aob and Puen, who characters who are relegated to the backburner much of the series.

The plot line of First abusing sex workers at Playboyy would have been great to focus on more if the writers actually wanted to talk about how sex workers are abused because they are seen as disposable and without any way of stopping said abuse. Especially when Zouey gets pissed at him and points out Soong used to be one of them and yet First chose to treat people in that same industry that way. However, aside from Aob threatening First and Keen taking Puen when he's injured from First's paid abuse, this is all brushed under the rug.

The most we really get about sex workers or the sex industry is a) how it makes relationships difficult with what I am going to call normies and b) competition for clients. The treatment of both of these lines of discussion feels shallow and cheap.

The drug angle is almost incidental to both the sex work thread and the murder mystery thread. It feels like it is there mostly to give us a legitimate means by which we can bring down our villain. In the very last episode we get some discussion of trying to get out of that line of work and how to survive without it, but of course this isn't really explored. The drug trade is mostly used as a catalyst for Nant's problems which lead to the supposed plot of the series.

Adjacent to sex worker thread we have the illegal sex tape trade angle. This is predominantly explored through Captain and his private facebook group. Adjacent to this is Nant, who was supplying Captain with material for that group. We do get some repercussions from this. Keen is initially expelled because a video Captain posted (and recorded) without his consent is sent to the university. Keen is initially very angry with Captain. But, again, this is all brushed under the rug with Keen seemingly forgiving Captain because he loves him. (I cannot roll my eyes any harder at this.) Yes, there is some underhanded work on Keen's end that gets his place in the university back and gets Captain kicked out instead but that video is never posted for the public.

The sex tape trade then connects into the rugby team and the homophobia we see there. I will say, the politics of the rugby team in terms of their homophobia and hazing was decent but it was a pretty small part of things overall. However, this does feed into showing the realities of being gay in a society where it is not acceptable. These guys can haze and bully anyone they think is gay and get away with it just fine. (I have a suspicion they are the ones who sent the video of Keen to the Dean or whoever. Captain jumps through hoops to prove his straightness to them to avoid bullying and willingly throws Keen to the wolves to save himself from them. Beyond this, we don't get much on trying to be gay in a largely homophobic or at least unaccepting society. I could point to First's father but his objections to Soong and First seem to be rooted in the type of sex they enjoy and Soong's position as a sex worker, not necessarily because First is with another man.

The abuse in the series (Porsche's abuse of Jump; First's abuse of the guys at Playboyy; Jason's abuse of Porsche, Zouey and Aob; the revenge abuse we sort of see in that edited episode from Jump to Porsche and from First to Soong; that insanely out of character moment when Teena ignores Zouey withdrawing consent; Captain recording Keen and Tutor/Jump without consent and posting it; Captain's abuse of Nant and Zouey -- yes the bullying and manipulation is abuse; probably more I'm overlooking right now) is almost all completely glossed over. Teena has some consequences, Jump gets revenge on Porsche, Keen breaks things off temporarily with Captain, Jason gets outed for abusing Porsche and First gets threatened by Aob. Yep, that's it. That's all we get.

I think Zouey as a survivor of rape was well done at the beginning of the series and I think Korn actually handled that character really well. However, his character ultimately seems to fall into the "love fixes trauma" trope which I despise. Knowing now why he didn't want to have sex, Teena ignoring his withdrawing of consent and the sort of quick turnaround from anxiety (near panic attacks) at the idea of trying to have sex with someone to out of nowhere wanting to do it feels so cheap. This may be how things go for some survivors, but it feels like they wanted an easy answer to something that was much more deep and difficult than they thought it would be when they started that plot line.

As much as this series tried to make "deviant" sex (mostly kink related) okay, it also never reprimanded Captain who pushed the idea that Nant and Zouey needed to have sex. In some ways we see critique in that in Nant's fall but that's it really. The depiction of kink is what I expect of young teenagers just learning what kink is for the first time. I have zero problem with characters being into sadomasochistic sex, roleplay, power dynamics or bondage (the main kinks I recall from this series), but this is a caricature of kink at best. First comes off as a little boy with tantrums being indulged. Every sex scene between First and Soong was so cringy that I don't know what they were trying to accomplish with it. What we see between Prom and Nant or Nont is done much, much better than what we see from First and Soong.

I absolutely despise the "I like kink but can't control it, I'm a monster" thread they broke out with First. Just...what? That's right up there with portrayals of people who like kink being abuse survivors who just need to heal and then they won't "need" kink anymore. This adds to the feeling of First just being a brat with a tantrum, to be honest. And they never address it. He spirals for a couple episodes, abuses the hell out of people and justifies it by paying them to be abused (abused, this wasn't bdsm/kink). And then he gets Soong back so it's okay because HIS Dom is the only person who can keep him in line? I don't know because that entire thread abruptly drops once he has his Daddy back (they may not have a Daddy/baby boy dynamic but it sure as hell feels like it in some ways). Overall, it feels like the writers don't know anything about the kink community or how people who are part of that lifestyle participate in it. Did they just watch 50 Shades of Grey and then try to apply it to these characters?

The plot. Oh gods, the plot. I'm pretty sure the writers forgot they were supposed to have one for much of the writing of this series. As I said before, they had no idea what they wanted this series to be. Perhaps because they were given space to make a more mature, darker series they tried to stuff it full of all the things they wanted to make a series about and got lost and overwhelmed in the process. The actual plot about Nant wasn't terrible, it just wasn't there for most of the series. It went in unnecessary circles considering how convoluted they decided to make it. They took too many episodes to start the actual murder mystery plot and stuffed things in at the end which should have been in the middle of the series.

This was clearly written with the intention of a second season, which is why they stuffed important plot points into the last episode (many after the credits) and didn't worry about wandering off on other tangents whenever they wanted. However, as a result, what they gave us isn't good enough to warrant a second season. Another season would likely be just as messy, disjointed and poorly handled as the first. Maybe worse. Okay, likely worse.

(plot discussion below)

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What You Think You Want…

I really like how this short plays with limiting our information. It begins without context you get in the synopsis on here. The cinematography intentionally limits your view, playing with POV shots (appropriate given the theme) or framing that only lets you see what is going on from behind and underneath a chair.

The ending is beautiful and full of just desserts.

I really like how it put a mini spotlight on how your perception of someone impacts sexual attraction to them. In a lot of ways this short isn’t about a guy who wants to film a scene with this OF star. It’s about a guy who wants to live out a fantasy that lives in his head and, in the end, that doesn’t really line up with what he got himself into.

note: rewatch value is low bc I almost never rewatch anything so that’s sort of high for me

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An Absolute Mess

The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that the show that aired is not the show they intended to make. There are too many things that don't add up or that are disjointed to assume it was intentional.

I don't think the actors failed, necessarily. They didn't elevate poor material but I don't fault them for that. I know some of these actors are much better than what is seen in this series. The problem, as I can discern, falls entirely on the writing and editing (and possibly direction).

Trigger Warning: I will be discussing the suicide of one of the characters.

The first almost half of the series really builds up what happened to Blue. Him somehow holds some culpability in his fate, though only Te and Him seem to ascribe any blame to him. Chao and Dream, in fact, don't seem to know what happened to him at all. Early in the series there are comments made by various members of this group of friends that imply a) Blue is alive, b) something bad happened to him, c) not everyone knows what happened to him, d) but everyone DOES know Blue is still somewhere he can be reached.

I suspected early on that Blue attempted suicide at some point and that Him was somehow at fault for that. However I also assumed he failed in that attempt. A big reason for that was the way the characters who knew him spoke about him. The way Te spoke about whatever terrible thing Him did almost implied he was in contact with Blue at some point after the event, or even currently. Te had so much disdain for Him this entire series. Him had such deep guilt and shame this entire series. Until the last few episodes where Him was alleviated of wrong doing by the revelation that he didn't really do anything wrong (though he was kind of a dick to his very codependent boyfriend when his mom wound up in the hospital). And then Te just magically gets over his grudge. What?

My theory is that Blue was originally intended to survive his suicide attempt and come back later in the series. I also think Him was originally supposed to be more of a factor in why Blue made the attempt. However I think the plan changed at some point after the show began airing. Perhaps the original story for Him was too dark and someone felt he couldn't be redeemed properly for a happy ending. Perhaps they felt Blue returning made things too complicated to wrap up in the number of episodes they had. I don't know, I can only hypothesize unless someone involves in the production speaks about it and either confirms my theory or confirms this is what they intended to make.

We go from regularly getting 40ish minute episodes to getting 25-30 minute episodes. We get huge holes like the fight at the end of episode seven leading to an entirely different fight in the opening of episode eight and then everything being magically better later in that episode without explanation. The second half of the series requires you to assume a lot of things happen off screen and make up what exactly happens in those conversations. We also have the atrocity that was episode nine (I think it was nine), where the editing was clearly not completed and the audio is a disaster. Entire lines are missing from the dialogue track and you only know what was said because it was included in the English subtitles. I don't know what Thai speakers did to make sense of that episode. The plot very quickly runs out of plot around episode eight when things are magically reconciled and the entire show shifts to focusing more on Chao and Phai at that point. To me, all of this suggests they had to scramble to cut material that was already included in the final episodes and then had to shoot new material for the last few episodes. The finale was basically a throwaway episode for NC scenes.

Other than how very messy the plot was, my other problem with the series were the characters who made no sense and the terrible "relationship" between Chao and Phai.

Type was a caricature villain. What was his problem with Him? Was it really just an inferiority complex over his family having less money? Why was he so intent to fuck Him over and even hurt someone he didn't know at all to do it? Then we get the out-of-left-field plot of him trying to get back with Phai so he could sell a sex tape of him and him pulling a gun on Chao because he "thwarted" his plans by discovering them and telling Phai. What? This was cartoonish and poorly written, to say the least. Once again, I think there may have been a real reason Type hated his cousin that ultimately got cut from the series but I don't know.

Te. Just...what? I already covered how his hate of Him doesn't really make sense. Sure, he had a crush on his friend who he never confessed to and who ultimately dated his other friend. Blue was clingy and codependent and got overly emotional whenever he didn't have all of Him's attention. Because Blue got so upset Te got angry that Him was in a position to treat Blue poorly (in their eyes) in the first place while he, of course, would have taken better care of Blue. But this does not explain why he would doggedly pursue Nail. Sure, he's Blue's doppleganger and he resents Him because Blue chose Him and later took his own life for reasons that (from what we're shown) don't even really have anything to do with Him. Either there's way more substance to that grudge or he's way more unhinged and obsessed with Blue than we are ever shown.

Then we get a sudden alternate love interest for Te who just materializes out of thin air. This man has had no interest in anyone other than Blue or a Blue replacement for 10 episodes but here comes Piece and he's all for it. What? Piece didn't even appear in the credits until then, which reinforces my idea that he wasn't originally part of the series but someone added in later after airing had begun. We get an apology to Him that I don't think almost any of us would have accepted and then he goes off to flirt with Piece. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the dynamic between those two. They have good chemistry. But Te is a completely different person with Piece than he is at any other time in this series. It comes off as slapped on at the end to make Te palatable, to cover up rewriting the end of the series or to just fill time because they realized they didn't have enough material for twelve episodes.

Chao and Phai...dear gods, save me from obnoxious, intrusive puppies and people who can't reinforce their words. On the one hand, we have Phai constantly telling this kid he doesn't want to date anyone and they are just fucking, then on the other hand he also constantly allows Chao to run amuck all over that boundary. He tells him to sleep on the couch or leave but never makes him. In the last few episodes we see these secret little smiles implying Phai has finally succumbed to a form of Stockholm Syndrome and now finds Chao endearing.

Chao, however, knows how to do nothing other than doggedly pursue Phai, violate every boundary Phai attempts to place and just shove his way into a relationship. Phai says no so Chao whines and badgers until Phai gives in some small amount. Phai says he doesn't want a relationship so Chao repeatedly declares he wants to be in one with him. Phai doesn't want him showing up at various times or has plans with others so Chao shows up. If anyone is somehow unclear: THIS IS A RED FLAG PEOPLE! This guy is exactly the person you should never ever date and if they keep coming around you should report them to the police for harassment.

Did I eventually feel a little bad for Chao? Sure, I did. Phai very easily could have explained a number of things to Chao but chose not to. He even was willing to explain things (such as how he was definitely not getting back together with Type) to people who WEREN'T Chao. He brushes off Chao's emotions and requests for communication. He decides Chao doesn't need to be told anything even though they are in a sexual relationship with some elements of friendship. (This is also a red flag, people, it's just not one that requires police intervention.) He made things so much harder unnecessarily just because he didn't want to ever explain anything to Chao, as if letting him in at all would violate the boundaries of the relationship he was telling himself they had.

Don't get me started on Chao telling Phai in the finale that if he wanted to have sex they needed to be in a relationship and Phai suddenly just agrees after months of insisting it wasn't what he wanted.

Did we really need Pae and Somsom shoehorned in as a couple at the end? Did that couple even make sense?

This novel is long enough as it is and I think it says most of what needs to be said about this series. I would like to see the actors in other series with much, MUCH better writing. I think a lot of them could do really well with good material. I think there was some failing in direction here, but there was a much bigger failing in writing and editing.

It's a mess.
Do yourself a favor.
Skip it.
There is no rewatch value. It's a dumpster fire of confusion, loose threads and dots that don't connect the way they tell you they should.

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Um….what?

It’s cute until he gets off the bus. It could have (and should have) ended there.

Three minutes of the limited time is devoted to a psychedelic trip-like PSA from Cupid with all the terrible effects you’d expect from the mid nineties.

Cute tiny kid falls for big kid who roughed him up with his friends and presumably mugged him. Cute tiny kid even recognizes him eventually, dude who didn’t help him. and it ends with him hugging this guy without ever speaking to him. Just…what?

The synopsis is much more adorable than the short. save your thirteen minutes.

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Strange and Lovely

When you watch the first episode you will be confused. It’s bizarre and pretty. It doesn’t quite connect in the ways you think it should. It’s like a sentence with only a predicate. That’s how the first episode left me.

The second episode makes more sense but feels out of place contrasted with the first. You realize here that the story you’re watching isn’t going from point A to B. You may wonder, as I did, if there were unusual
parallels happening between the stories in the two episodes.

Depending how your mind works, how much you immerse yourself in the story being told and how much you ponder what you’re seeing, you may start to put together pieces and hypotheses as early as episode three (perhaps two but I think there’s a higher chance of you hitting on the truth in three - one and two almost feel like an adjustment period to me).

The episodes are short, roughly 25 mins, and there are only six of them. If you can stick it out through the puzzling confusion, the feeling like the ground is tilting under you when nothing looks like it’s moving, then you’ll be rewarded as the threads weave themselves into a tapestry you can begin to make out the picture of.

Rossi and Meen are phenomenal in this! They both show quite a bit of range in their skills and exhibit a subtly and nuance in their physical expressions you don’t get the pleasure of witnessing often. (It’s similar to the experience watching Pond and Nike in 180 Degrees Longitude, except that was a much heavier story so their work is on an entirely different level from what you see here.) There are a couple scenes where the emotions running across Rossi’s face, through his eyes and through his body speak louder than any dialogue ever could. Meen displays such tenderness in his gaze, the kind that makes you truly believe without a doubt that Tiew is in love.

As others have said, this is not for those looking for the sort of surface-level stories and fluffy, formulaic romance you get in the BL industry. There is nothing wrong with wanting that, I watch plenty of it myself. This series simply is not that. This is a thoughtful, quiet romance that happens to take place between two young men. Their genders and other works are all that coincide with the BL genre.

If you are up for it, however, you should come watch them fall in love. Experience their heartbreak and happiness. It’s genuinely beautiful.

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Astoundingly Beautiful

A lustrously gorgeous story, quiet and told in glances and body language and silences as much as it is told in words.

The realities upon which this series shines light are all too real, raw and heartbreaking. Each character tells their own part of the story and how decisions of one person weaves into the lives of those around them. We have a story about how the force of one person can impact another and how the mores of society can be a detriment for some.

Mol is someone whose personality is almost like a force of nature. She is loud to cover her loneliness. She is bright and personable so no one notices the cracks leaking her sadness everywhere she goes. However, she is also the epitome of the parent who wants the best for their child without listening to their child. This is the parent who loves you without actually loving you because to love a person is to accept and embrace who they truly are. This is a parent who “does everything for” their child, yet makes everything about themselves.

She is selfish and self-centered. She wanted a man and made him hers, only to refuse to see the truth: that he was closeted and in love with his best friend. She wants to be the center of her son’s world. She will not give him up because she needs him to fill a void in her that a child should not be asked to fill for their parent. She will not listen to what her child actually wants, too busy wanting the happiness she has decided will make him happy. Even at the end of the last episode, she is talking all about herself while he cries quietly in the passenger seat beside her.

Mol is an abusive parent and a narcissist (and I mean this in the clinical sense not the colloquial sense). While there are times she evokes sympathy, she is ultimately the detriment to the happiness of three people. All to center herself and her wants.

In is the heartbreaking illustration of what internalized homophobia does to a person. He avoids, as long as possible, to admit the truth. In fact, even by the end of the last episode he had never voiced his love for either of the men he has loved. He won’t even bring himself to voice the fact that Siam loved him. He skirts around it, speaking of it only to Wang without stating it outright. It is ultimately up to Wang to put words to what In wants to leave in the silence.

We also see the effect others have on someone who has internalized the deep shame of loving someone of the same gender of themselves. He lives with regret, blaming himself indirectly for Siam’s death (though I’d argue he probably should blame himself more directly, as should Mol), but we never hear him state a wish to have done things differently. He clings so hard to the idea that he did what he thought was right, what would make everyone (except himself) happy. Not only could he not accept the love of a man he loved in return, not only could he not give that man the love he had for him, but he cannot admit to himself that their own happiness could have saved Siam’s life.

Watching In open up to Wang as he relays stories of the man he loved is breathtakingly beautiful. You watch his walls thin and lower, though they never disappear. He’s filled with an agonizing, all-consuming fear. But you watch that fear get quieter when it’s just the two men. When the only thing in his world is himself and Wang, who gently but fearlessly moves forward. And you watch it all crumble because of the guilt and shame he carries regarding Siam and Mol when she asserts her will and manipulates his emotions to give her what she wants. It’s clear, to me, that while he was not prepared to declare his love prior to that conversation, he WAS prepared to accept Wang into his life and build something with him as Wang desired.

Wang…beautiful, brave Wang. It’s impossible to not adore this character. He is caught between grief for his father and exhaustion from his mother when we meet him. It is clear he is the emotional caretaker of his mother who has a codependent relationship to him. However it’s also clear he wishes to escape her, to not be responsible for her happiness and be allowed to find his own.

He is relentless in pursuit of answers. You can tell early on what he suspects and knows but isn’t saying. He isn’t pushing people to give him the information he craves but rather gently leads them to disclosing it bit by bit. He’s headstrong and passionate but I don’t think he’s idealistic. He knows the darkness that lurks in the world for someone like him (queer folks). He isn’t ignorant to it but he learns, as he falls in love, to be undaunted by it, to refuse to allow it to steer his life.

We see Wang falling in love before he even realizes himself that’s what is happening. The magnetic draw In has on him is captivating to watch just as much as In captivates him. He is admirable in his willingness to stand and fight for the love he has for In even when In isn’t willing to fight beside him. He is thoughtful and careful in ways he doesn’t even notice.

What is more heartbreaking than In deciding he should leave is Wang seeming to fall back into role of Mol’s protector, caretaker and babysitter. When he tells In that she’s done nothing wrong for wanting him to be happy and it isn’t fair for her to lose (if he decided to refuse to leave so he could win) it feels like the abuse cycle is starting over, the victim of the abuse giving into the path of least resistance. Watching him cry silently as they drive home while his mother centers herself in her one-sided conversation once more was more heartbreaking than the scene with In the night before.

While one could nitpick little things that are not spelled out but generally assumed (i.e. the “coincidence of them ending up there, for example), those things do not make this story any less to me. The soundtrack and cinematography complement the emotions of the story so well. (I’m in love with the color palette.)

I think Mol could be genuinely triggering for people who have suffered from a narcissistic parent or similar types of emotional abuse from a parent. Her reaction to Wang disclosing he’s in love with In could also be triggering. But I think the series is more than worth watching even so.

The typed out messages on the screen at the nd just made me cry more.

I wouldn’t change anything about this series. Not a single thing.

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Heartbreaking

This short film builds as it goes on. It starts with the main character having a panic attack while attempting to be intimidate with his girlfriend. He’s just as confused as we are, it seems.

What, exactly, is going on at home can only be speculated about Given the short format of the film, we don’t get a lot of exposition there. I’ve seen some speculate that the father has made self pleasure forbidden and the shower scene was about ensuring the main character wasn’t pleasuring himself. I’ve seen some speculation about whether or not he had developed “normally” and the father checking the status of his genital development.

I’m not entirely sure why, but while watching the film I wondered if our main character was intersex. There is an enormously diverse range of physical development possibilities among intersex people. Something about the way the father shakes his head in the bathroom scene, like he’s disappointed, and the way the boy doesn’t even want to look at his own nude body in the mirror made me think perhaps this was the case.

Regardless of whether the main character has sexually developed in a way we expect a cis boy to or whether the father was a zealot about abstaining from masturbation, what is unarguable is that the father is abusive. You do not need to touch or penetrate an individual for it to be sexual abuse. The obvious trauma (he clearly has PTSD, experiencing flashbacks to his father’s behavior) reinforces that his has been enduring sexual (and I’d guess emotional) abuse from his father. Moreso his mother’s (? I’m not sure if she’s his mother or older sister) reaction indicates she knows exactly what is going on and implies it had been going on for some time.

The dynamic between our main character and the naked boy on the roof is the one bright spot in the snippet of this boy’s life we see. It is so quickly easy, playful and comfortable between them. However, when another panic attack strikes and our boy even apologizes for it he is never shamed or belittled for his reaction. He is held. He is comforted. He’s told it’s okay. He is hugged. (That head kiss was the sweetest thing.) It is so sweet to watch but so utterly heartbreaking to see him go through that.

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A Quiet Film That Speaks in Silences

Note: this is a queer film, not a BL. if you’re looking for a BL this isn’t for you. If you are confused what I mean by it being a queer film: this story deals with the realities of being queer, including homophobic strangers with loud opinions and having to decide how to face your families. It also delves into the complexity of sexuality, love and attraction as we have a gay man and a straight man in a relationship.

If you’re expecting a plethora of love scenes and kisses and put a high value on those you may be looking for a BL, not queer media.

I’ve seen criticism of the sex scenes and, to be honest, they feel awkward and uncoordinated. On the other hand, there is a sincerity in how very unpretty it is. No one is having Hollywood pretty sex in real life. There’s an urgency and desperation when these two are together as if they are desperate for air and this is the only way to get it.

A lot is left unsaid between Kohei and Yuta. Yuta is emotional and reacts in a way that causes protective distance. Kohei is often unclear about his own feelings because his affection for another man is new to him. When given the opportunity they both do what so many people do in real life: hesitate, hold back and remain silent.

I’m still not sure Yuta loved Kohei, if I’m honest. I think he clearly cared for him but I think he wanted to be loved and accepted by someone more than anything. Kohei wound up stepping up into that role, though he faltered and made mistakes along the way. In the end, I think Yuta was too wounded to give any more of himself than he did.

Kohei was so interesting to watch evolve. In many ways he simply let their relationship evolve and become whatever it wanted to be without giving it a lot of thought. There was no hesitation in becoming part of Yuta’s life and accepting what he offered. There was no hesitation when Yuta decided to cross the line to evolve that relationship into something sexual, and by extension eventually romantic, between them. Kohei only stopped to think about things when Yuta was gone, but he never really stops trying to figure things out. He doesn’t just give up on Yuta, even though he is sometimes too lost to know what to do.

The main actors convey so much with their physical performances. This isn’t a dialogue heavy story and it doesn’t need to be. Yuta is complicated enough that this could easily be unsatisfying for some viewers but it wasn’t for me.

I also want to include a HUGE shout out to Priscilla’s bar and the community Kohei finds there. The regulars all seem to know about him and Yuta but still don’t presume anything about his orientation or press a narrative about what their relationship means for the label he should wear. It is an accepting and comforting place to be with people you can be yourself with. As a queer person, this was one of my favorite things in the film.

This film isn’t perfect. The writing and storytelling isn’t flawless. The emotion and impact, however, is fantastic. This may be a little too “real life” for some, but I really appreciated the depth and complexity this film managed in such a short time.

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Cute and Light, then ruined at the end

I’ll start with the obvious that most people will bring up, this is not groundbreaking storytelling. It’s not particularly deep even though the themes in it should be treated with depth. This is mostly passable writing and inoffensive acting by much of the cast (some are much better).

Despte all this, I really enjoyed the series up through episode ten.

- Solo is a very awkward, reserved character. You see glimpses of him open up but then he shuts back down. that makes sense to me. However sometimes he’s downright wooden with how inexpressive he is. (note: Nut who plays Solo is a much better actor currently in Pit Babe so I’m not sure how much was him being inexperienced as an actor versus writing & direction).

- Gui is kind to a fault, to the point where it’s difficult to know when he’s genuinely giving someone attention or just being kind like he is to everyone. From the synopsis I expected this to be much more of a sunshine character than he turned out to be. This is NOT a sunshine x closed off pairing. I liked the actor’s portrayal, but I had the same issue I had with Solo of him coming off too rigid and awkward.

- Solo & Gui as a pair are cute. I really did like them and that’s not entirely my high key fanboying of Nut as an adorable human. However I have complaints below.

- Kao is easily my favorite (and likely objectively best) character in the serious. He manages to be persistent and doggedly chase the guy he wants without the constant boundary violating that you usually see in these types of characters. He is sweet and expressive, continually testing the limits to see how much Phu will let him get away with without ever pushing it to territory that makes Phu genuinely uncomfortable or unhappy.

- Phu is cold. He’s distant. He’s got Fort Knox levels of security on his emotions. This is the guy you study to learn what stoic is. But you get these little glimpses (not just when he smiles, which Kao excitedly points out every time) of affectionate reactions to things Kao does or says. He says Kao is annoying but it’s like he’s using “annoying” as a stand in for what he really means because he’s clearly never annoyed with him. Given what an unrmotive, quiet character this is, you never wonder how he really feels.

- Phu & Kao … let’s face it, they kind of steal the spotlight. Their relationship moves much more slowly but feels more solid and intimate than Solo and Gui’s, if I’m being honest. It’s almost impossible to not root for them.

- Kao, Jedi and Beer: the best wingmen and friends ever! This show has some High Level friending going on with these three!

Beer often tells Gui what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. and When Gui doesn’t really listen and Beer thinks he needs to he is not afraid of, uh, making a more illustrative point.

Kao & Jedi are always backup and support. Hello, locking the rival in the bathroom so your friend can sneak around to get time with his crush? A+ effort and execution! I wish we saw more of Jedi in the series, honestly. The trio of Solo, Kao and Jedi is great and I adore this friendship dynamic.

- The Fujoshi mess. This was basically, what, like a love rhombus? We start with Perth liking Petch but he clearly gets fed up and hurt enough that he gets over that crush during the series. Petch winds up liking Khim (while Perth likes him and he’s oblivious). Khim’s little brother Khem winds up liking Petch while he sneaks around using Perth and Khem as photos for a fake crush so he can fuel his real crush, Khim’s, fujoshi dreams.

This whole situation was right on track to be a complete mess. It wound up as a blip of a mess and then sort of just got swept up and set off to the side. Khim forgave Petch way too easily for lying to get and using her brother, who she is fiercely protective of. Khem got over being indirectly led on super quickly. Petch wasn’t very likable once he got into using people. I would have preferred this whole storyline not exist, honestly. I also wish we could have followed Perth, an actual gay character in a BL series, rather than Petch, a fake gay character.

And then we get to the train wreck of the last three episodes. (the fujoshi rhombus also came to its messy and anticlimactic conclusion during these episodes)

- Did we really need Linda, the bitchy fake fiancé who was determined to land herself a man who clearly didn’t want her? I’m so over this trope.

- We NEVER get any explanation why the head of the admin dept, Pat, took it upon himself to transfer an ENGINEERING major to his department. Who does this? To our knowledge he didn’t know Gui was dating Solo when this switch was made but maybe he supposedly did. Even if he did know, the guy isn’t majoring in any related field. Why would you set him up for failure like that? He wanted to train Gui himself? What training?!

- Gui’s lack of backbone infuriated me. You don’t wanna tell Solo someone fucked with you and transferred your dept for your internship when you are there for your future CAREER not because of stupid family politics with your boyfriend? Okay, fine, but stand up for yourself. Don’t just constantly say sorry and take shitth criticism when no one is showing you how to do a job you have zero training for. Grow a fucking pair!

The things I marked my raising down for:

- Solo’s literally, and very obviously abusive father. The abusive father in and of itself wouldn’t get points docked, it’s the sweep it under the rug treatment that did. He locked his adult son in his apartment without food for WEEKS? How did Solo not pass out and need medical attention?

His son was pissed that his father (he assumed) was fucking with the only person he felt loved him and his answer wasn’t to point out he hadn’t done it or state that Gui would be transferred if he requested it but hadn’t (I like to assume this would be the case since they are literally messing with the guy’s career). No, he told his son to suck it up bc Gui was. Then he locked him up.

I think Solo’s reaction both to finding out what was done to Gui and to being locked up was pretty in line with his character. He specifically told Gui neither of his parents ever loved him (which makes me wonder what his attachment to his deceased mother is). He was being kept from the only person that seemed to love him beyond friendship and that person was being set up to fail which could have cascading negative effects on Gui’s future. Solo was isolated, treated with a callousness that only served to emphasize how much his father didn’t love him or care about him. Solo being a complete wreck and reaching such a state of despondency made sense.

But in the end Solo bows to his father’s desires, goes back to work as his father wants and even says he will be a better son?!

- Gui being a complete fucking dick to Solo when he is an emotional wreck after Kao sneaks him out of his apartment and they subsequently run away together. I get the sense of what Gui was going for when he said Solo was not behaving like the person he knew and was sacrificing things for, but the delivery was tactless, insensitive and callous enough to have come from daddy rather than the boyfriend who had been caring and concerned about Solo throughout the series.

This made me so angry I thought it was going to be a hallucination but it wasn’t. Gui saw the stage Solo was in, KNOWING how love starved he was before meeting Gui, KNOWING how deep the emotional wounds he carries are and told him to suck it up because he was being a little bitch? Are you kidding me? He was IN TEARS telling you he didn’t want to be under his father’s control/manipulation anymore and you ultimately told him to go back and do what daddy says.

This is NOT the Gui I knew or that Solo loved. There were so many other ways to go about that which would have been more compassionate. I also cannot reconcile Gui simply being okay with the blatant abuse being served upon Solo for ANY reason.

- Moon’s adoption. WHAT?! You gave that horrible man another child to raise? I don’t care if it was on the basis that Moon would eventually become Solo and Gui’s son. After what we watched his father do to Solo in thr last few episodes, never mind what he likely did the rest of Solo’s life, and Solo was just happy and content to let the kid that his bf cared so much about (and that he cared about) be brought under his control?

- Jay justifying the abuse form Solo’s father by chalking it all up to how he loved Solo but is bad at expressing himself. Not to mention him dismissing all the horrible treatment as “if he really wanted to keep you two apart he would have been WAY WORSE and you’d never see Gui again.” What? I get that love makes you blind and Jay is clearly drawn to red flags, but as someone who claimed to care about Solo that was unforgivable. Justifying the abuse was just another layer of abuse.

In conclusion: Watch through episode ten and then make your own ending in your mind. It’s cute and fun until then.

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For When You Need Some Adorable Fluff

This is not a terribly deep, complex story by miles, however it’s not trying to be.

VIP Only is more of a slice of life story of two people falling in love It is quiet and takes its time. It meanders through affection to love. It’s very sweet. Conflict is minimal but does last a couple episodes due to their short length.

Stan and Xuan have great chemistry together. Not the very thirsty, sexy chemistry one may expect from or look for in many Thai BLs, but rather a very cozy and comforting chemistry. These are actors who very much feel at ease together and who create a very believable picture of two individuals who will ultimately create a long lasting life together.

Liu Li can be pretty oblivious and dense, I won’t lie. He has that sweet, dumb puppy kind of personality but that isn’t all there is to him. It’s easy to dismiss or discount him but you see the layers if you’re looking.

Gu Jing can be reserved and even standoffish but the warm, fuzzy bits shine through when he’s with Liu Li. This is someone who shows how he feels through actions rather than words, gifts or grand gestures.

Ren is a grumpy, very sassy curmudgeon. Yet he grows on you and eventually shows glimpses of his soft bits and the way he cares for others under his prickly nature.

If you want a thought-provoking story, this isn’t what you’re looking for. If you want hot, rip each other’s clothes off chemistry and NC scenes, this isn’t what you’re looking for. If you want a lot of twists and turns, tension and suspense, well this is definitely not what you are looking for. But if you want a show that makes you feel the way a warm cup of cocoa or a big bowl of your favorite soup makes you feel on a chilly day, then this is worth watching. If you want a love story that feels like a blanket right out of the dryer, then this is a good bet.

Sometimes you just want something sweet and simple to give you a dose of happy. For me, that’s what this show is.

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Fantastic Cast with a Subpar Script

Let’s be honest, the cast is the only thing that made this show watchable in the least. Many are praising Frame and Ryan for their chemistry, which they rightfully deserve, but I haven’t seen anyone praising the other cast members. Every single actor who played a member of the volleyball team, as well as Tan’s actor, did really well. They gave us really likable characters we could be invested in even though the writing failed both them and us. They all deserve SO MUCH better than they got. I really hope we can see some of them working together on projects in the future. Preferably ones that deserve them.

***Spoilers Below***

The writing…oof. I’d like to think they at least tried, I really would. But I’m not sure how much they did.
- The entire basis for the switch was thin at best to begin with and made no sense as the story went on.
- We never get to see anything that explains why Zee goes from wanting nothing to do with volleyball to seemingly wanting to play again. Maybe even liking it? There could have been some interesting storytelling if they explored his dislike of volleyball (I think we all understood why) and actually had him quit or showed him caving to the pressure to go back. But there’s nothing. At most we can presume he missed it once it was gone when he saw Sprite training that one time.
- It would have been a lot more interesting if someone on the volleyball side found them out. Eapecially since Sprite was SO BAD at volleyball to start. They made it seem like Tom might catch them bc his mom was also in the hospital but that went nowhere. Those brothers met IN PUBLIC several times but no one every stumbled upon them.
- Sprite needed to confess to First, if to no one else, waaaaaaay sooner. First gave him every possible opportunity to tell him that he wasn’t Zee and Sprite constantly chose to lie to him.
- Sleeping with someone then letting your twin, who is a complete asshole to begin with, interact with that person while being (surprise!) a total dick then wondering why he’s upset at you?! At this point I wanted First to tell Sprite to fuck off and never give him another chance. That was HORRIBLE. (And kind of SA-y to let him think he was sleeping with someone he wasn’t, imo)
- Many characters were made way dumber than they should have been for the sake of the plot.
- First’s sister and her friends at the end? And for that to be it, just left hanging? Was that necessary?
- The rest of the team never finds out about the switch. Not even Sam who is dating Sprite’s best friend?
- No consequences for mom forcing Zee to play this sport all his life even though he clearly didn’t want to.
- No character development for Zee even though he was so vocal about not wanting Sprite to be him, not wanting to play or go back to his life anymore, etc. Basically all gets brushed under the rug.
- Zero awareness or consideration by Zee or Salmon for the fact that the team has had Sprite around for months, that Sprite and First have been velcroed to one another or for the fact they KNOW Sprite likes First and First doesn’t know about the switch. Sure, Zee is a dick but what is Salmon’s excuse?
- The spy storyline fell flat. We never found out what he gave Zee or what it did to him that apparently resulted in Sprite playing that match. This didn’t feel necessary at all.
- The Tom storyline was set up waaaay too in advance for when we finally got answers and that also fell flat.

The last episode wasn’t as bad and disappointing as I expected it to be, but it wasn’t that good. It certainly wasn’t good enough to make up for the outright anger the last like five episodes gave me over the stupidity of Sprite and the story/plot.

In the end: I loved First. I loved Sprite when he wasn’t being so stupid and lying to the guy he liked so much. I loved a lot of the guys on the team.

I would set rewatch value to zero if I could.

I’m only giving this a 6.5 for the actors.

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Good Source, Poor Adaptation

I've read and really enjoyed the manhwa this series is based off. The manhwa is short, only 45 episodes, but really well done and sweet.

This series started fairly faithful to the source material. The first few episodes were my happy place. I've never had 45 minutes fly by so quickly. I loved both Meen and Ping in their roles (but, please, someone teach Meen to throw a proper punch prior to any other gangster/thug/fighting roles in the future!) and thought their chemistry and dynamic worked really well here.

The problem came in when someone decided they needed more plot than the source material contained. The source is sort of a quiet, slice of life-ish vibe. They invented the Boss (Paiboom) and Kenji for conflict and plot that, quite frankly, the original story didn't need and that was poorly executed in the series. Every single issue I have with this show somehow feeds back to the inclusion of this "plot." Tew made stupid decisions because of it. It was poorly fleshed out, decisions within it were poorly justified (if at all) and it was rushed to the finish line to fit within the 8 episodes we had.

The one deviation I really liked in this adaptation was Wahl. Am I supposed to dislike him? Yes. Did I? Nope. Almost never, actually. He is far more unlikable in the manhwa, actually. In the manhwa he never has actual romantic feelings for Guy's character but this inclusion makes him more sympathetic and turns him into someone with feelings he isn't facing or comfortable with rather than just someone who enjoys being the center of his bff's world and has overbearing reactions to being worried about him. I also give a lot of credit to Winner for how he handled the character. He made Wahl likable in a way that he probably shouldn't have been. (Am I the only one who wants a Wahl spinoff with the cute guy in class in the last episode?)

Overall, the first half of the series was cute but the last half I could have done without. I wish they had kept Tew's character as a self-made gangster who was his own boss. His minions, their reactions to their boss smiling at his phone and their adoption of Sanghwa (Guy's character) was so fun and cute. I really missed seeing that in the adaptation. I wish they kept the tension of Guy getting over his crush on Wahl and Tew being happy over having a friend and slowly realizing he didn't just have friend feelings. That focus would have suited the series (and the leads) better than the forced conflict.

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This is not a BL. This is a Mystery-Horror-Thriller

This is NOT Manner of Death. This isn’t a thriller that has queer relationships in it. This isn’t a suspenseful drama with two leading male characters who are attracted to each other (at least we are supposed to buy the one sided attraction despite early indications that it’s mutual). This is very much your old school typical “we have queer characters but they don’t get to be with who they want in the end, only the straight characters do” (uh well sort of, she’s not that enthusiastic about her consolation prize tbh).

I’m not sure how Shadow winds up in the BL circles. Yes, there is a confirmed gay supporting character. There is another more periphery character who is definitely queer (gay vs bi vs etc not confirmed). But there are zero queer relationships unless you’re counting the teacher and the now dead kid (which you shouldn’t) or Dan and the Shadow (referred to in the masculine).

Does the show feel a little queerbait-y? Yes, a touch. The early episodes feel very much like they are setting up a relationship between Nai and Dan. Then it’s almost like they realized what they were doing, didn’t want to actually be gay and pivot hard toward Dan and Cha-aim. Then there’s that “someone wants to be your date” which doesn’t feel like a friend date but is treated as such once it’s happening. However Dan also consistently protects and stands up for Nai to an extent that suggests it’s not just bros having their bro’s back (you never see Josh do this for Nai nor is Dan ever put in a position for us to see if he’d go to these lengths for others).

The myster/thriller/horror elements are well done and the story is really interesting. However, as I’ve seen someone else mention, there’s a lot of loose ends and loose connections. Perhaps that’s intentional. Everything seems to connect for a bit until they pivot to the full reveal and then you have these disparate events. Maybe it’s supposed to be a commentary on how you can link unrelated events together if you try hard enough.

The actual Thai history with Red October was intriguing but dangled like a carrot for too long.

I feel like sometimes the story was just stretched longer than it needed to be. This could have been a 12 episode series with a narrower focus that delved more richly and deeply into that focus instead of a 14 episode series that was spread a bit too thin.

I loved the ending. Not sure why it’s labeled as an open ending, there’s nothing open about it imo and it’s not the first time I’ve seen an ending like this in horror. Personally, I’d really love a second season that is more focused to see what someone does with their new lease on life. But I’m not expecting it.

This review may seem very critical but I did genuinely enjoy the series and binge watched it in two days. I think it’s worth watching but not if you’re expecting it to be a BL.

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I wouldn't consider this BL

Are there two amab characters? Yes. However one is the spirit of a cis woman trapped in a man's body for the vast majority of it. Honestly, Lan Xi is annoying af. I started to get genuinely irritated, frustrated and annoyed that I was having to watch HER story of trying to get her bf to fall in love with her in another body.

I think the actual story of Hero & Gu Si Ren, which you get in small bits and pieces of flashbacks via journals, would have been much more interesting and satisfying to watch. Gu Si Ren seemed like a sweet guy and I would have liked to see more of him when he was alive.

I felt really bad for Hero being pushed and pulled between his actual feelings and his dead girlfriend's reactions to them which left him confused since he never knew it was her in the body.

Also Lan Xi was sort of ultra girlie in Gu Si Ren's body. To the point where he didn't come off as gay so much as he came off as touched in the head a bit, you know?

The ending was a bit of a redeeming factor, but too much of this was about an annoying, entitled, overbearing, pouty, sulky woman who didn't see the man she supposedly loved for who he actually was or how she caused him to stuff himself into a box.

This would have been a far better story if they just killed Lan Xi off and told the story of the men.

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