@blimarch

"

Chapter 47

" Zhuan Xu cried “Xiao Yao, tell me! If we could do it all over again and I held you close after we reunited on Five Gods Mountain, with no chance for Jing to get close to you, would you have picked me?”

Xiao Yao was about to pass out but Zhuan Xu’s words took her back to the very beginning and it was as clear as yesterday “When I was locked up in the cage by the nine-tailed fox, all I could think of was you…..all I missed was you….when you didn’t recognize me, I still used my life to save you…….back then…….there was no Jing yet………..” Xiao Yao’s voice trailed off.

If we take into account that XY at the moment of the story when she planted the bug on CX, did love CX romantically but failed to durably plant it because as XL said, CX did not willingly accept the bug, it all makes sense, doesn't it? "

I swear I was thinking the same, this fragment you posted always comes to my mind whenever CX's  bug is discussed.

 AH :
The fact that a bug connection was established between CX and XY calls into question whether the love that XY felt for XL necessarily had to be romantic love, since the love she felt for CX was platonic. However, the bug that XY planted in CX wasn't planted successfully. Tong Hua doesn't give the reader enough information about what that un-successful planting means to determine whether we can still use CX's connection to draw conclusions about XL's connection or not. I imagine Tong Hua deliberately left it open to interpretation.

I think the key word here is "unsuccessful."  The data from something that is unsuccessful isn't reliable for how it works when it is successful.  It's clearly called, a Lovers Bug.  It's clearly stated that it's raised for lovers, to keep them true to each other, and can turn into a Heartbreak Bug.  The only requirement stated is that it requires love between the couple, and given it is called a Lovers Bug, not a Friendship bug, I think it's pretty clear that it is romantic love.

That said, I do think Tong Hua either didn't think about it fully or left things intentionally vague, or everyone (and not just here) wouldn't still be talking about it .

"When I was locked up in the cage by the nine-tailed fox, all I could think of was you…..all I missed was you….when you didn’t recognize me, I still used my life to save you…….back then…….there was no Jing yet……" 

This part is interesting, one more reason to belive that she haven't really fallen for Jing until much later into the story, IMO after FL wedding and FFBei's death she finally accepted that there's no possible way for her and XL to have a future togheter, still she wasn't yet ready to forget and move on, that is why I belive she delayed her wedding day to Jing. I belive she grew to love Jing during those 42 years of engagement, not before. Also is interesting that when she was locked up in the cage by the 9 tale fox her only happiness was CX, who at that time was the most important person to her and the only love she ever knew, but when XL came into the picture, he was the one who took this spot and he was the one who allevieated her sadness and her loneliness. I know most people belive CX was always the most important to her, but by the end of the book I honestly belive XL meant the most. With XL's death she closed the door on CX forever. 

 Kokuto:

LOL!  The racy, uncensored, brown paper cover version of Lost You Forever.

I only want this version if all the X-rated scenes are between XiaoLiu. My constitution is simply not that strong for any XXX scenes with Jing.

(That's the implications of a brown paper version, yes? Or do I just have a very dirty mind?) ?

I was thinking of sandra brown, lol. 

 blabla100:
Also is interesting that when she was locked up in the cage by the 9 tale fox her only happiness was CX, who at that time was the most important person to her and the only love she ever knew, but when XL came into the picture, he was the one who took this spot and he was the one who allevieated her sadness and her loneliness. I know most people belive CX was always the most important to her, but by the end of the book I honestly belive XL meant the most. With XL's death she closed the door on CX forever. 

If you read Once Promised, you can have a full picture about XY from childhood. 

Ah Heng and XY moved to Zhaoyan right after Chang Yi (CX's father) died in the battle with Feng Long's grand father - Zhu Rong. Then XY lived there with Ah Heng, CX until she was sent to Jade Mountain by her mom before the last battle (not like in the drama). CX's mother committed suicide during the funeral. So Ah Heng also looked after CX. If I remember correctly, CX and XY lived together in Zhaoyan peak for about 8 year (less than 10 year). Before XY had met CX several times but they had not gone very well with each other. Because of CX's parental loss, XY paid a lot of attention to comfort him. This period is depicted quite closely in drama as well as mentioned in chapter 38 (?) when Jing asked his permission to marry XY. I don't know if that kind of promise from childhood (such as I'll be by your side forever or I will not marry etc) is considered as romantic love. She could have though of him as her closest family member that might be still alive. Because by that imprison time by the 9-tailed fox, she already knew her mom had died and her father had abandoned her and she was afraid of being daughter of Chi You. CX was her only hope for someone by her side in life by that time. 

That night when Zhuan Xu came to Xiao Yue Peak and unexpectedly saw Xiao Yao he was so happy.

He nodded at Jing before sitting down next to the Yellow Emperor.

Jing respectfully bowed to both emperors and said “I want to marry Xiao Yao, will Your majesties please grant me her hand in marriage.”

Zhuan Xu’s heart lurched and he stared at Xiao Yao. The last time when Feng Long asked to marry her she looked startled and unwilling but now she kept her head lowered but her face reflected her shy happiness and willingness.

Zhuan Xu felt like he was sitting alone on a desolate mountaintop and his body was left there while his soul had flown away and was flying through time and space to revisit all the vivid moments from the past——–

His childhood experiences left him maturing early. He could enjoy the pleasures of life but he never once felt his heart truly stir. When he was teased about what kind of woman he wanted, he would always remember when Xiao Yao was small and she hugged him while promising “I will never marry someone else. I will marry you and be with you forever!”

When he came back from Jade Mountain with Xiao Yao, that night he tossed and turned unable to sleep. All he could see was Xiao Yao, when she was small and her now, Xiao Yao as a man and Xiao Yao turned back into a woman. It didn’t matter which Xiao Yao, she always made his heart happy and his heart hurt. He wasn’t a clueless green boy, he knew what changed in the way he felt about her.

But….what could he do? A man who was sleeping in quarters that was given to him, what right did he have? One slip and he could be assassinated, what right did he have?

He remembered vividly when Auntie was taking Xiao Yao to Jade Mountain and he begged her to leave Xiao Yao with him “I will take care of Xiao Yao, I’m not worried about the hard work” but his Auntie smiled “But you don’t even have the power to take care of yourself, you have even less ability to take care of her. Simply not being worried about it isn’t enough!”

He vowed to grow up as quickly as possible so he could go to Jade Mountain and pick Xiao Yao up when he could take care of her. But a few hundred years passed and when she returned to his side, he still didn’t have the power to take care of her. So he told him: you don’t have the right because you can’t even protect her!

Back then Xiao Yao hadn’t yet fallen for Jing and she was completely unmoved by Feng Long. But because those two men, one was Tu Shan and the other Chi Sui, both had more right and ability to pursue her than he did so he took half a step back and also a half step forward to use them by allowing them to get close to Xiao Yao.

In Xuan Yuan Castle when they were in constant danger, Jing came to see Xiao Yao but she actually ended it with him and refused to see him.

On Xuan Yuan Mountain, it was he who stopped Xiao Yao and asked her to go see Jing. He had been shamed countless times before but never felt the shame deep down, but that time he felt gutwrenching anger and shame.

Xiao Yao didn’t just see Jing, she spent a night in the room with him. That night he spend in ice cold water that could not wash away the pain in his heart and could not wash away his own shame and agony. He wanted to rush inside and kick Jing out but he couldn’t because in front of Cui Liang’s residence it was Xiao Yao who used her body to shield him from danger. So he had no right!

Then he got Jing and Feng Long’s support and made the most critical decision in his life to abandon Xuan Yuan Mountain for Sheng Nong Mountain. When he was pretending to be a drug addicted dissolute, part of him knew it wasn’t just acting. He really was in such pain and agony and using the drugs to numb his torment. Because he knew that he wasn’t just giving up on Xuan Yuan Mountain, he was giving up on his Xiao Yao!

When he got to Sheng Nong Mountain he could see Xiao Yao and Jing’s connection growing closer so he kept telling himself that he was just Xiao Yao’s older brother! As long as the two of them stayed alive and Xiao Yao was happy then nothing else mattered!

That way when Xiao Yao came back from Qing Qiu and collapsed in his arms and spit up blood, he felt a thousand knives cutting into his heart.

Xiao Yao was gravely ill because of Jing and he kept vigil over her every night. When he saw her cry in her sleep, he hated the Jing who had Xiao Yao but didn’t cherish her, but he hated himself even more.

When the Yellow Emperor was surveying the Middle Plains and everyone was in a state of anxiety, he stood at the brink of completely success and failure and everyone kept their distance from him. But at that moment Xiao Yao agreed to marry Feng Long.

Overnight the Four Great Clans all tossed their support to him. Even though Xiao Yao smiled as she said that Feng Long was the most suitable for her, he knew that if it wasn’t for him then she would not have agreed to marry Feng Long even if she was heartbroken over Jing.

Feng Long and Xiao Yao’s wedding date was set and even if he felt a stirring beast within that was roaring to come out, he kept it in check because his grandfather counseled “Xiao Yao just wanted a simple uneventful life so if you use your power now to give her that then that is what’s best for her.”

For Xiao Yao? He tightly controlled the beast within to not let it out.

On Xiao Yao’s wedding day, he sat all night in the phoenix tree forest in Xiao Yue Peak watching the phoenix flowers falling all around him. The new swing was ready but the person who was going to swing on it had left.

He reminded himself over and over “Feng Long was the best choice for her while he can keep watch over Xiao Yao for her entire life and ensure Feng Long never mistreated her.”

But when news arrived of Xiao Yao running away at her wedding, he felt all the darkness around him lift and he burst out laughing uncontrollably in the phoenix forest.

Zhuan Xu looked around with a smile as Jing and the Yellow Emperor both stared expectantly at him. Clearly the Yellow Emperor already gave his permission and all that was left was his response.

Xiao Yao lifted her head and stared at him expectantly as well.

Zhuan Xu said to Jing with a smile “Have your clan elders bring up the marriage with the Xi Ling clan leader and settle this engagement!”

 HeadInTheClouds:

I only want this version if all the X-rated scenes are between XiaoLiu. My constitution is simply not that strong for any XXX scenes with Jing.

(That's the implications of a brown paper version, yes? Or do I just have a very dirty mind?) ?


Heh.  Yes, that's the implication of a brown paper cover. :)

I guess we'll have two versions.  The XL and the Jing version. lol

 Kokuto:


Heh.  Yes, that's the implication of a brown paper cover. :)

I guess we'll have two versions.  The XL and the Jing version. lol

Are we finally getting 50 Shades of Silver?

 nathsketch:

Are we finally getting 50 Shades of Silver?

That's what fan fiction is for. ;p

 blabla100:

I was thinking of sandra brown, lol. 

It has been a long time since I read a romance novel and longer since I read Sandra Brown, but I don't remembered her being all that racy. I don't think she'll be racy enough to satisfy Kokuto anyway ?

 Kokuto:


Heh.  Yes, that's the implication of a brown paper cover. :)

I guess we'll have two versions.  The XL and the Jing version. lol

Now why would you put that cursed idea out into the world? Besides the Jingers is not interested in something so " lewd and dirty" since their ship is pure and morally superior, remembered? 

Sorry, this is just my petty response to some Jingers who was all up in arms about XiaoLiu's fans having a giggle over XY getting feelings from XL drinking her blood.

 nathsketch:

Are we finally getting 50 Shades of Silver?

This is a fantastic idea, nathsketch. You can become the next EL James since 50 Shades started as Twilight fanfic. 

It can be even racy/spicier. I mean, just think of all the things that XL can do with his 9 heads ??!!

And on that note,  I'm just going to show myself out now ?

 HeadInTheClouds:
Sorry, this is just my petty response to some Jingers who was all up in arms about XiaoLiu's fans having a giggle over XY getting feelings from XL drinking her blood.

Having a giggle is an understatement. It takes a few hours of meditation for me to be able to go back to a calmer and more serene state of mind after seeing things like these:

Deep breaths. It's all fine. Nothing to see here.


 HeadInTheClouds:
This is a fantastic idea, nathsketch. You can become the next EL James since 50 Shades started as Twilight fanfic.

There you go. I'm not a writer, but I can certainly make the effort to become one. I think it's worth it.


 HeadInTheClouds:
It can be even racy/spicier. I mean, just think of all the things that XL can do with his 9 heads ??!!

Oh, I have. Repeatedly.

Oookay...time to change the subject.


 HeadInTheClouds:
I'm just going to show myself out now ?

Wait for me.

This is the picture with the part about the dream and the ears rubbing. Thanks windiaaa041293 !


 

Calling Liddi to the front desk, please :)

 HeadInTheClouds:
It has been a long time since I read a romance novel and longer since I read Sandra Brown, but I don't remembered her being all that racy. I don't think she'll be racy enough to satisfy Kokuto anyway ?

Cracks knuckles and starts thinking about the Kokuto Racy Rating scale.


 HeadInTheClouds:
Now why would you put that cursed idea out into the world? Besides the Jingers is not interested in something so " lewd and dirty" since their ship is pure and morally superior, remembered?

Sorry, this is just my petty response to some Jingers who was all up in arms about XiaoLiu's fans having a giggle over XY getting feelings from XL drinking her blood.

I can't comment.  My head might explode.  LOL!


 HeadInTheClouds:
This is a fantastic idea, nathsketch. You can become the next EL James since 50 Shades started as Twilight fanfic.

It can be even racy/spicier. I mean, just think of all the things that XL can do with his 9 heads ??!!

And on that note, I'm just going to show myself out now ?

Wait, wait!  (taking notes)

I'm all for nathsketch fan fic. :)

 windiaaa041293:

@H19279

then what is meant by rubbing their ears? isn't that the scene when learning archery? I'm sure he dreamed of Jing, and Jing turned into XL.

The actual term used in the novel is 耳鬓厮磨 (literally it means "ears and temples rubbing against each other") and is meant to describe close physical interaction, often between lovers (but not specifically referring to intercourse). The novel uses this term thrice - during Xiao Yao's memories of Jing, and Cang Xuan recalling their childhood when he would hold her in his arms as she sang to him. It is also used to describe childhood sweethearts.

 Kokuto:

LOL!  The racy, uncensored, brown paper cover version of Lost You Forever.

Oh dear. That would be a totally different story altogether!

@nathsketch 

Thank you! I found the reference in the novel already and explained it in my post above.