InspectorMegre

Koreans themselves understand it :) They are known for the tragicomic element... They made Parasite and many other satires... I think we are more talking about outsider kdrama audience
and perhaps younger Koreans, who are wesernized

IS CRYSTAL IN KDRAMA OUR HAPPY DAYS A NARCISSIST? for example when she sneaks into G's room to snoop and goes trough his secret box, he catches her, she yells at him for startling her and asks him what wrong was she doing, and even asks him to apologize. My mother did this all the time so I have to know.

AH HERE IS MY RESEARCH. FASCINATING!!!! Sorry it is long but it is incredibly useful.
CRYSTAL IN KDRAMA OUR HAPPY DAYS, FL's MOM IN KDRAMA FAMILY REGISTER, AND MY MOTHER AND NARCISSISTS
YuNa in kdrama Pearl in Red is a psychopath. Many criminals are psychopaths. For example, Gi Tae in Made in Korea, 2ML in Hello Monster, villains in Judge Returns, Flower of Evil, etc etc https://www.gqindia.com/content/7-k-dramas-actors-who-aced-psychopath-roles-park-bo-gum-ok-taec-yeon-kim-ji-hoon-and-others I did not watch kdrama Psychopath's Diary but that should be a very good reference...

Psychopaths can act in a specific way called sociopathy. Sociopaths manipulate and gaslight other people, with the goal to convince them to do something nasty to the sociopath;s victim. SO THE SOCIOPATH IS NOT THE CULPRIT. THE OTHER PPL DID IT. For example, all malicious gossipers and slander promoters are sociopaths, Many bullies in kdramas are sociopaths, for example Do Hee in Family Register when she bullied Ji Na. Many criminals use sociopathy, like Judge Cha in Lawless Layer, AsseblyMan in Again My Life, etc. To see a PERFECT sociopath gaslighting in action, watch the 2ML in Heo's Diner. He is PERFECT.
References at the end.

Technically, only psychopaths gaslight, bc they know what the reality is and then intentionally, with careful planning, lie to you, cold and calm, to get something from you. They always have a tangible goal - your money, s.x, favors, etc. They know they will not divorce their wife and are just trying to get into your pants or your checkbook. The classic psychopathic gaslighting is in movie "Gas Light" The gaslighting psychopath is a scheming cunning con artists, forces their reality on you to take your resources. Goal oriented, premeditated, carefully planned, intended to drive you insane and totally rely on what the psychopath says the reality is. He is external regulator for you, he dictates what the reality is and you cannot rely on yourself. .

Narcissists live in their own fantasy world where they are "good people" and they never question that, so they do not know what reality is, so when they lie, they believe they are telling the truth, and they gaslight instinctively and are defensive when you question them. They *believe* that they are gonna get rich or divorce their wife to marry you. Narcissist does not have an external goal to take something from you, but needs you to join in his fantasy reality so that the narcissist can experience himself in that fantasy reality, In other words, YOU make his fantasy reality seem "real" and he needs that. Narcissist wants you to help him experience his fantasy reality, and is not interested in taking tangible stuff from you. (but it will happen anyways lol)

SUMMARY: GASLIGHTING IS PATHOLOGICAL MANEUVERS TO REWRITE REALITY, DENY FACTS AND LOGIC, AND GAIN CONTROL OVER THE VICTIM, but narcissist and psychopaths gaslighting has a different "feel". Gaslighting is a form of de-association, gaslighting forces you to lose your own reality and adopt gaslighter's reality, you lose yourself. Perpetrator trains you with words, actions, body language, silence, etc.

EXAMPLES OF WHAT GASLIGHTERS USUALLY SAY
============================================
Narcissists use highly predictable, repetitive phrases designed to deflect blame, invalidate your feelings, and keep you off-balance. Psychopaths use this too
1. Deflecting Blame and Avoiding Accountability: When caught doing something wrong, a narcissist will immediately use words to shift the focus from their actions to your reaction."You’re rewriting history." (Used to make you doubt your own memory of an event.)"I never said that, you're making things up." (Direct denial of reality, even when proof exists.)"You are always bringing up the past." (Used to escape accountability for recurring patterns of bad behavior.)"Look what you made me do." (An explicit attempt to blame you for their abusive or angry outbursts.)
2. Invalidating Your Emotions: Narcissists view your negative emotions as an attack on their perfect self-image, so they attempt to label your feelings as defective."You’re just too sensitive." (Minimizes your valid hurt feelings.)"You can't take a joke." (Deploys cruelty disguised as humor, then blames you for being offended.)"You are overreacting." (Normalizes their bad behavior by making your response seem extreme.)"You have serious mental issues." (Weaponizes mental health to completely dismantle your credibility.)

3, Playing the Victim (The DARVO Technique)To regain control, narcissists will flip the narrative so that they appear to be the injured party."After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?" (Guilt-tripping to make you feel ungrateful.)"You’re the one who is actually abusive/toxic." (Projection; accusing you of the exact traits they are displaying.)"No one will ever love you the way I do." (A subtle threat disguised as affection to make you feel unlovable and isolated.)"Everyone else agrees with me about you." (An isolation tactic using invisible allies to make you feel outnumbered.)


CORE TACTICS OF GASLIGHTING:
============================
1. The DARVO Strategy: This stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. When confronted with bad behavior, they deny it happened, attack your credibility, and twist the narrative to make themselves look like the victim.
2. Revisionist History: They will look you in the eye and rewrite past events. Common phrases include "I never said that," "You have a terrible memory," or "That is not how it happened."
3. Blame-Shifting and Projection: Narcissists project their own flaws onto you. If they are cheating, they will accuse you of being unfaithful. If they make a mistake, they find a way to claim it was your fault.
4, Emotional Trivializing: They minimize your emotional responses to make you feel unstable. They will tell you, "You’re being too sensitive," "You're overreacting," or "Can't you take a joke?"
5, Pretending to Have Allies: They claim other people agree with them to isolate you. They might say, "Everyone else thinks you're acting crazy," or "Your own family told me they are worried about your mental state."
6, Gaslighting by Silence: They use withholding or the silent treatment. By refusing to engage or validate a basic conversation, they leave you desperately trying to solve an unspoken problem.

The Three Stages of the Gaslighting Cycle: Narcissistic gaslighting is rarely obvious at the beginning of a relationship. It follows a highly predictable, cyclical timeline:[1. Idealization / Love Bombing] ➔ [2. Devaluation / Chipping Away] ➔ [3. Total Dependence]

REFERENCES: including strategies to defend and protect against these
=============
Sociopaths are well described in Empathy Trap Article https://www.recoveryplusjournal.com/2017/10/the-empathy-trap/. Gaslighting by narcissists and psychopaths are well described in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOkHsl9Mioo esp after min 5, and everything else from professor Dr. Sam Viknin, is a good start, and google search for "what is gaslighting in psychiatry" and then "narcissism and gaslighting" There you will find some good ideas how to defend and protect.

and to tell he that he knows she knows and do all that by whispering at the pulpit.. the dude is a heavy duty jerk

the OST song Broken lyrics are about being stuck in a swamp of hatred... So .. maybe this never-extinguished hate will never end, which will ruin the drama
Realisticaly, it SHOULD take them about 50 episodes at least to overcome it

I said that what you said implies that jj is dumb for not reminding the police

i was talking about copies at the police, not with JJ. All police records could have disappeared bc of Yun

do you think police will check online... ? Most will not... and esp if they are bribed / biased

FYI acting dumb/incompetent a LOT is a cheesy lazy way to extend the plot. ie. lousy script i.e. lousy writer

apparently super soapy revenge Trap Called Desire https://mydramalist.com/810734-yokmangui-deot

yeah good question, WHAT EXACTLY DOES JJ FEEL FOR HJ???? care out of guilt / remorse / pity, or something romantic?
To me it feels pure guilt and remorse, feeling responsible for destroying him, unwilligness to see his bad side, and trying to fix what she thinks she ruined - but ... HJ was selfish and weak and immature from day 1... JJ did not destroy anything. The pestering wound was there and she just pushed the pus to the surface. If JJ cannot see it... then... she is a moron

But I thought about this - JJ as Chloe and then JJ again never showed any concern or care for MJ.

you dont count HJ's crush as romance? at least attempted? and JJ's concern for him... ?

so you are saying JJ is dumb for not mentioning that
Police is bribed, biased and yes incompetent, and all the records from before could be gone, hidden, etc Do NOT count on police :)

is this a typo, you meant 2025 not 2017?

Bc.. Hm she rejected him when he first confessed! Days later, she explained she likes him but has no time to date. Then they hung out So maybe she will push him again in 2025
For sure, the preview shows his mother ordering him to ditch her

Wow one of my fav actors is the daughter killer at the start. HE IS SOOO GOOD! and the script is sooo good, makes him so cunning.. The FL family scenes are so great, definite positive advertisement for getting married and having kids. ML and the daughter are so cute. The daughter has the right instinct, she prefers her dad. After that... i fell asleep lol so I had to go back and rewatch from the middle.

WHY WAS FL'S TEAM TAKEN ABACK WHEN SHE SAID SHE IS GLAD TO MEET YE SEOL, NEW MANAGER? Ep 1 min 36

The start of ep 1 happened a while ago.

FL's team leader is behind the explosion of that car that FL's husband was chasing, and it seems he kept it a secret from the company. And seems like that and Mr Hwang are related?

FL's husband suspects that Kingfisher is her. And someone who knows for sure is threatening her.

I suspect the new manager at work. But anyone can be the traitor - the flower lady downstairs, .... anyone from her company..

preview shows her without any mask, pointing a hand gun to someone. Tsk how can a professsional be so sloopy?

100% agree

Bona fide (often spelled bonafide) means real, genuine, or made in good faith without fraud or deceit. It comes from a Latin phrase literally translating to "in good faith" (bona for good, fide for faith)

Thank you for your patience, It started with my mixing up of bona fide and pro bono, and the opening scenes where she killed for free, so I wrongly thought that she killed bad criminals FOR FREE.... , then I realized she gets paid, but still I thought she kills only bad criminals, so I didnt understand who funded that group of people. But if that is a paid assassin organization, of course, they get paid to kill anyone and of course they launder the money :) I understand that :)

But somehow, her company decides that the target has to be a bad criminal - yes or no? So she trusts her company's judgment that the target is a bad criminal? So effectively, she is a paid assassin and will kill whoever she is told to kill
or - does she know why she is killing someone?

So in ep 1, she killed TWO people. Do we know why she killed the second one?

Thank you.

Hm what are you talking about - 2017 or 2025? In 2017, she pushed him away - but then consented to date him.... and he gave up on her bc of his mother. He was not serious about FL.
Not the entire bus gave up on collapsed grandma. Some ppl did not see it. He saw it clearly and did not even think of helping that collapsed grandma ..

In 2025, I predict she WILL push him away for real bc he bailed on her before. Yes he was inexperienced but still. He was not serious.

I did not check the data on earlier weekenders. I started watching during COVID and maybe many other ppl did, and then dropped out as soon as COVID was over?

I loved Iron Family at first :) By middle it started dragging and then the end was horrible, mama boy ditching his true love to kiss as@ of his narcissistic awful terror mother.

I am not sure why ppl didnt like Iron Family at least first half. I suspect it is bc ppl do not watch to watch poverty or disability. Ppl love mindless fantasies fluff and fights, sleek urban rich and/or metrosexual idol dramas, seems to me :) like Perfect Crown, Weak Hero or Agent Kim
Ppl love total sexism and toxicity, like most of Dynamite Kiss. That drama shows that the audience is not 100% brain dead, at least some people disliked the end. But too many liked it until the end... yikes

I was impressed with Iron Family. I still remember scenes from it. Great acting and comedy. Then it fizzled out. It had great music too and amazingly pretty FL

about 20% of fathers in Korea are goose dads

I can tell just from the description how messed up it is.
There is about 200,000 - 500,000 of goose dads, less than 5% of all married men in Korea, but about 10-20% of married man with minor children.

S Korean government now has incentives to keep kids - and their money - in Korea, so they got Jeju boarding school, etc and it is successful, those "goose dads" turned into "weekend dads" and saved $1 BILLION in overseas tuition and living... $1 BILLION stayed in S Korea... . There are other government incentives to prevent goose dads and keep kids in S Korea

Still with all those incentives, these are the current stats:
South Korea has approximately 11.5 million married couples, but only 2-2.5 million married couples with school-age children. !!!!!!! About 17% to 22% of all married couples in South Korea have school-aged children (defined as children aged 6 to 17).

In S Korea, out of 11.5 million married couples, half have no kids.
Out of 2-2.5 million married couples with kids, 60% have only one kid.
LESS THAN 20% OF HOUSEHOLDS IN S KOREA HAS A MINOR IN THE HOUSE.

Birth rates dropped in 1983 when contraception and family planning was promoted by the government, then went very low in 2001 because of IMF crisis, and super super low since 2016 bc most young ppl do not even marry and if they do they dont have kids bc of high cost of living and private tutoring, required to succeed in highly competitive cut throat education K1-12.... .Says google AI.

And as I said, goose dad has power, he can say NO. If there are too many fights bc of it, he can divorce. Even google AI reports these fathers experiencing social isolation, no eating, no sleeping, stress, and high rates of alcoholism and gokyusa or "lonely deaths"

Why is living like death better than divorcing such a cruel, inconsiderate, selfish wife? Well - according to google AI - many couples do divorce as soon as kids are out of school. So yeah S Korean government is trying to prevent goose dads, but still, bc of that Jeju boarding school, mothers live on Jeju and fathers work in Seoul and visit on weekends. THAT WOULD BE A GREAT KDRAMA

So ... on another note... kdrama will be dying too... . There will be no siblings, in-laws, etc to make plots with... or ppl to watch the dramas... Wow... S Korea is in a severe pickle situation... They *** WILL *** go extinct unless they make a U-turn
The competitive school system and wanting kids to score high leads to parents feeding drugs to kids, keeping them studying from toddlers! school during day and tutoring at night... Wow being a kid in Korea is like jail..
Wow S Korea has really severe problems

ok that was forced. But Uncle chooses to hang around FL's mom and 1st Wife

i fell asleep in the middle of this lol so can someone please tell me:

So in ep 1, she killed TWO people? First, for free, she killed the dad trying to kill his daughter, nd then she went back to her company and with their help killed some guy in a highrise in a white shirt?

DO WE KNOW WHY SHE KILLED THAT SECOND GUY IN WHITE SHIRT?

Seems like SHE A PAID ASSASSIN and kills whoever her company tells her to, PLUS she kills whoever she wants to, for free. Correct?

AND HER COMPANY SOMEHOW DETERMINES THE TARGET IS A BAD CRIMINAL - does she blindly trust her company or she knows why she is killing someone?