kate_xulansis

a lot of people in real life have a condition called alexithymia (for example: autistic people and people who have a lot of trauma, people with BPD, etc) and they even mention it in the show. Sometimes they don’t have any feelings but sometimes it’s not that they don’t have any feelings, it’s that they don’t understand what they are feeling and can mistake it for different things or mistake it for a lack of feeling. In this show, ML believes he is a psychopath like his father and he believes he really doesnt have any feelings. But this isn’t true, he has feelings he just doesn’t understand them.

I have it, while it’s not nearly as bad as ML, it’s still hella confusing and I also don’t know when I love someone or when I am just infatuated with them. The only way I can explain it is almost like sussing out your own symptoms to try to figure out what those symptoms are for. Like when you have a runny nose, you’ll assume you have a cold, but if another symptom like a tummy ache comes along, you might change from believing it’s a cold to thinking you have a virus. Sometimes symptoms can lead to more than one answer which can make you confuse them for one another.

ML is thinking his symptoms are showing how manipulative he is (wanting to keep his wife and kid happy, wanting to keep them at all cost, not wanting his identity figured out), when really it’s a symptom of his love for them (keeping them happy, keeping them with him, and not being forced to leave them). When he realizes these symptoms aren’t symptoms of manipulation but love, he is able to more freely express himself (once you know what you’re feeling is real, you don’t have to be so cautious anymore in the fear of being wrong about yourself).

Also trauma in general reacts that way. Once you are in a secure place where you feel supported and accepted, all of your trauma can surface and make you EXTREMELY sensitive emotionally (your triggers might normally take a lot to be pushed, but during this state of mind it’s if the wind blows on it basically). So while with his wife he begins to feel more accepted, he is also being CONSTANTLY triggered outside of his relationship with his past. He might not know exactly why he is crying or laughing due to his condition, but he is still going to cry and laugh and be easily triggered.

Honestly, the thing I felt the most relatable and realistic was how he came to realize his feelings. Not only does he have to figure out all that above, but he also has had adults and peers tells him his whole youth that he is a psycho like his father (and even before that, the child’s therapist was extremely horrible at her job and not connecting his trauma with his mother to his aggressive state— instead lumping it in to him showing symptoms of psychopathy). It’s like the label theory—if you are called something regularly, you will eventually come to believe it yourself. He is called psycho and possessed, thus he believes he is both of these things. ML is the perfect example of both the condition and the label theory working to make a good kid become all sorts of mixed up and messed up on top of all the trauma he had to endure already.

it’s okay if you don’t like the show or don’t understand it, but from a psychological POV and a sociological one, it is accurate given the situations he was given.

i know ML and K are the same person, but I wish they would have kept the split personality. I felt really lonely for ML who had to say goodbye to his best friend (and it was so cute seeing how much love they had for each other! talk about self-love!). I don’t think it was completely necessary for the story. I also don’t think getting rid of a split personality is all that easy (even getting to the root of where a personality came from, a lot of people will still have that trauma response hanging around). Maybe it’s more open ended than I’m interpreting it, but I honestly wish they had gone the route where K comes back when ML talks about the kiss with FL. That would have been a much happier ending.

I found she got better after she stopped using violence on ML lol. I hate when they do that… try to make a FL strong looking by getting her to legit abuse the ML.

YES to all that. It also gave me Forever Love vibes!

this is the cutest, sweetest drama I think I have EVER watched. It’s just filled with goodness and green flags. China is really killing it lately with the green flags. well done!

We have such similar tastes! I really recommend Shinning For One Thing, it was SO good.

ohhh wow they really sunk that ship! hahaha

oh that’s super interesting! thanks for the info. :)

I just started this and I had no idea that it would be in English considering it’s Japanese (and on here). Just for curiosity sake, why wasn’t it shot originally in Japanese? (I’ve never watched the anime either, but I’m pretty sure it’s probably Japanese). I just started episode 2 and it’s so good!

I love this type of drama… that dark anti-hero sorta feel. There are usually a lot of deaths and twists to keep you holding on until the very end. However, I find they usually have hit or miss endings and this to me missed the mark. I think there were a lot of decisions made by the writers that didn’t make the most sense. Maybe it was due to how rushed some things felt—like something was suddenly thrown in your face only for it to be torn away a second later. Or maybe it was due to how unsatisfactory things felt. Whether it’s a sad ending or happy ending, things still need to feel concluded and this felt like we were all left in some sort of void—no way back and no was through, we’re all just holding our breath waiting for something to fill that void this drama leaves you in. At least, that’s how I felt. Like the story wasn’t finished.

thank you for the update! Sounds like it’s either bait for so moon and ha na shippers or like they are planning to make them get together in a slow burn sorta way.

I hope you enjoy the last two episodes! So for it seems like I’ll definitely be watching it since the romance isn’t pushed in a in-your-face sorta way :)

THE. MANAGERS. ARE. NOT. MANAGERING.

I am literally screaming in frustration. first manager is a pig who only cares for the actresses who get taken advantage of. second is just a biased b*tch who would rather everyone suffer as she does (even her own brother). and the third one is so incompetent I want to bully him like we’re in high school because he is THAT immature about everything. Seriously, get a clue!

i cant. this poor girl could have been saved so much trouble with an actual decent manager who knows how to do their job.

im just obsessed with all of the bromances in this drama. the banter and chemistry they all have together is the most wholesome fun I have ever had watching a drama. Really cute. Really fun. And of course Jun Ho is in it so how can anyone complain??! I honestly fall for all of his characters, I swear. ML did phenomenal though and his chemistry with all of those boys (and the girls!) was just so spot on.

Exactly what I was thinking during s1. I mean, so moon admiring her was funny and very teen boy esque, but I didn’t think it should be reciprocated in any romantic sense by Ha na. thanks for letting me know so I’m not expecting it when I finally start it again! if that changes and if you remember this conversation, I’d be grateful for the update so I’m prepared to throw my morals away on that one lmaoo if it’s anything like season 1, the romance won’t be a huge part of the storyline anyways. But obviously no worries if you don’t remember, I’m sure the comments won’t be shy about their thoughts on it lol

thanks so much for such an in-depth comment! I’m happy it’s being well received in that case. that sounds really great. My favourite parts about season 1 were those weirdly intimate and intense scenes between the bad guy and ml (or fl). Hoping it’s done justice in this season.

so they totally axed the weirdish budding relationship between so moon and ha na? i didn’t even know how old she was supposed to be but it felt so forced in season 1. Although I am a fan of romance so I’m not opposed to something, just hoping if there is romance it’s more natural and right feeling.

I’ve heard mixed reviews about this season, how is it? I watched ep 1 and feel it has great potential, but I want to wait until all the episodes are out so I can binge.

no one disagrees that it’s in your face. I only mentioned how we still deal with it here. Western society is just more secretive and manipulative about it. Maybe that’s better in your opinion, but I don’t think we have any right to criticize another society when ours is dealing with much of the same thing.

however, saying these societies ALL have to change and be better is totally valid. but I don’t really know (or think) that one is better than the other when we apply all the factors. They are both extremely fkd in their own ways and in need of some serious TLC in my opinion lol

100000% whenever I see posts complaining about this stuff and the commenter is western, it’s like a ‘check your privilege’ moment. Maybe this isn’t something the commenter had to deal with due to their race/sex/family/finances/education (all that socioeconomics stuff) but there are absolutely people who suffer unfairly due to the hierarchy. East Asian cultures just seem to subject EVERYONE to it to some degree lol (like if you’re simply younger than someone, you might have to put up with some bullying from your sunbaes etc).

I’m so happy to see the good comments on this one. Even though it wasn’t my specific cup of tea, I really loved how they called out homophobia and sexism (especially in regards to work). I fell for the plot as well which is extremely rare (I always figure out the mystery!). For that I still gave it a 7.5… And the booty shots weren’t too much of a pain either lol!

I’m still obsessed with this drama. The healthiest relationship I have ever seen. it’s all about growth and learning from one’s mistakes. So good. I miss them so much! idc about how much hate it’s getting, this drama is such a beautiful, happy watch. Highly recommend it if you’re in need of something light and straightforward.