The Perfect Review

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Have you ever been review hunting? I have. Either because I loved something to pieces and I want to prolong the pleasure, or because I didn't like it and I’m looking for sympathetic haters.

In my quest, I've come across all sorts of reviews, some useful, some less, some wonderfully written, some funny.

They obviously are very different from one another, as diverse as the people who wrote them, but I want to try and divide them into groups. And like every generalization, my analysis will be exaggerated, biased, unfair and deliciously useless too.

1.   The Rosetta Stone Review    
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 ≈Imo ts grt drama. Act X mad me lol att. Ne1 gonna luv it. Swyp? Njoy. жљξЂдФ

2.   The Clairvoyant Review   
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Episodes seen: 1 out of 38
This drama is epic! You will never find something as good as this, from beginning to end. The plot is very consistent and EVERY episode leaves you wanting for more. Watch it and, most of all, don't drop it because it improves ongoing.

3.   The Trust Me or Die Review
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I LOOOOVVVVEEEEED ITTTTTTT. Best drama eva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You must watch it, if you don't  you're dumb. It is so because I say it.

4.   The Algebraic Review
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  Overall rate: 7,38
  Plot: 6.24
  Acting: 9.12
  Music: 5.61
  Re-watch Value: 8.63

5.   The Aesthetic Review   
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The drama is lame, but Actor X is HOOOOOOTTTTT. Watch him. Nope, staring at his pictures won't do. He can't act but he's sexy as hell, this should be enough.

6.   The Confusing Review  
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Overall: 10  Plot: 10 Acting: 10 Music: 10  Re-watch: 10
The plot is nothing new, the acting is average, the ending is lame, the music is forgettable. I've seen better. Overall, it's an ok drama, you can watch it when it rains. Hence the 10.

7.   The Beowulf Review  
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Please editor, make the following review fit into 6 books of 15 chapters each. If you start reading now, you may finish before the whole drama is subbed.

8.   The NO-SPOILER Review  
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I loved this drama up to the last few episodes. I only like dramas that end well, and this one doesn't. I never stopped crying when the male character - I won't say the name not to spoil - dies on episode 8. The stolen kiss on episode 15, minute 42.12 is awesome because it's unexpected. I don't want to spoil the end but think Romeo and Juliet.

9.   The Economic Review
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  I liked it.
  Watch it.
  I never re-watch.

10.   The Genealogy Review  
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I only watched this drama because I heard X's aunt was in it. She's also Y's sister in law, who wrote the OST for a drama with the cousin of Z in it. However, I read somewhere that X's brother will have an affair with another member of ABC band at some point, so I dropped it and started another drama starring a friend of Z's.

11.   The Humble Review 

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In my opinion, this is a great drama. You won't regret watching it, or so I think. If you don't, please keep in mind this is just my opinion. I humbly suggest you give this show a try. Don't hit me.

12.   The I'd Do Better Review  
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WTF was this? I was expecting the plot to go in another direction, but the writer decided on her own!!! There is no love story in this drama, and I only like rom-coms. I would have chosen a completely different cast, and why the heck did they use classical music? I hate classical music. Don't watch it. Wait for me to produce the show.

13.   The Perfect Review  
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 I have flu. I'll write a review another time.

P.S. There are a lot of terrific reviews, here and elsewhere. But let's face it: where's the fun in talking about them? ;)

Comments (115)

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  • Reply
    mica Mar 25, 2015

    HAHAHAHA AWESOME! #8 left me in tears :'D

  • Reply
    ManaSura May 25, 2013

    This article rocks! Super hilarious
    It's mostly funny coz it's so painfuly true, I assume everyone who've read this and has a preview writing experience will find thay his/her own review unfortunately fall into one of these categories, at least I did :D

  • Reply
    Marse Mar 30, 2013

    I'm reading the older articles and wow. HAHAHAHA I really enjoyed reading this one. XD I feel like I'm the 11th type of reviewer. :)))

    Nice article! <3

  • Reply
    QueenJi Oct 23, 2012

    bwahahaha, great list!

  • Reply
    rogue88nami Oct 13, 2012

    hello!i m new to this site...i absolutely love it..a nice companion to my asian drama addiction(something even i thought was a phase , but doesnt seem to b over soon)ANYWAYS , i just had to tell - great editorial..i wish i had written it! ;-}

  • Reply
    delta777 Oct 9, 2012

    lol...thz rita.

  • Reply
    yankumicho Oct 1, 2012

    I loved this article! It sums up pretty much all I've seen in terms of reviews. (I'm a bit of a humble/Beowulf myself, lol).

  • Reply
    amrita828 Oct 1, 2012

    Did I thank you all for your comments? If not, let me do it now.
    Thanks for reading, commenting, laughing. Thank you for appreciating even the silliness of it.
    And beware: Anton Ego's reading you... ;);)

  • Reply
    miss_kayti Sep 30, 2012

    This made me chuckle, and I was nodding the whole time.

  • Reply
    _Rosie Sep 30, 2012

    Fab article Rita it made me chuckle...I wont say which one(s) my reviews come under hahahahaha

  • Reply
    A2AD Sep 28, 2012

    LMAO...I like to read all the reviews and I think you have most if not all of the styles covered. Thanks for the laugh and for writing the article Rita. :D

  • Reply
    boutux Sep 28, 2012

    i'd say my reviews would be one or a combination of the following categories u listed. 2, 3 and 7. i tend to be long winded (i know) lol. but then again being a #2 in my case isn't bad cuz i tend not to write reviews after the 1st or 2nd epi but usually at the end or close to it. 13 cracks me up. why even bother write the review then? lol

  • Reply
    Mirichan Sep 28, 2012

    Actually two days ago I did write an review after reading this here....and noticed I had similarities to that...and that...and I wanted to do THAT ...:D
    IMAO I am like all of your combined review types....Actually I even did my first spoiler today in school because I was sure she watched it(and misunderstood it)...So that counts to me too :p

  • Reply
    reverievoyager Sep 28, 2012

    I'd love to do a detailed review but I have no time. Sadly college is a life-sucking fiend. D< Maybe over summer break I will.

  • Reply
    Romaira Sep 27, 2012

    LOL!!!

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