Like when they spend 20 episodes developing a romantic relationship relationship between leads until they are literally ready to die for each other and then the next minute the go cold and act like it was nothing and hook up with or chase someone else.

I hate this. Someone make a 'Romance Switch' tag so i can avoid being crushed and wasting time.

While I can’t create a ‘Romance Switch’ tag for you, I can suggest looking for community-driven platforms where viewers discuss and tag TV shows based on their tropes and plot developments. Websites like TV Tropes, forums, or even social media groups dedicated to television series fandoms could be helpful. Fans often share insights on character developments and plot lines, which might help you avoid shows that lead to the kind of disappointment you’ve described.

If that’s happening mid-series, I’ve only really seen America do this. 

Unless it’s already implied at the beginning or it occurs to a side-couple, I don’t even think it should happen. At least not in a romance series. The whole point of the genre is to put investment into a forming relationship from the start. Even if it’s developing on the sidelines. As a romance, it promises viewers that the main couple is worked on from the beginning to end.

If it’s a romance that’s meant to be about a main character moving on from one relationship onto another, then it should only be done in one of three ways in my opinion: 

  • break the old relationship off at the start
  • depict a character in a problematic relationship during the series while having them befriend someone else throughout from early on (No cheating though, obviously. Not that it doesn’t apply, but almost everyone hates it so just don’t)
  • get viewers invested but break it off at the very end with good reason so that the entirety of the series is still spent on that couple even if they aren’t endgame.