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  • Last Online: 13 days ago
  • Location: Lyon, France
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izanyas

Lyon, France

izanyas

Lyon, France
When a Man's in Love korean drama review
Completed
When a Man's in Love
2 people found this review helpful
by izanyas
Jul 13, 2022
20 of 20 episodes seen
Completed
Overall 4.0
Story 3.5
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 5.0
Rewatch Value 1.0
This review may contain spoilers

An Ode To Domestic Violence

Reading the comments on this drama is such an infuriating experience because of the hate that the FL gets or how people fixate on her cheating as if the ML isn't viciously abusive to her the whole time... it's bad enough that the story ends with her staying with her abuser, I didn't think I would have to see so many hurtful opinions on top of it.

The ML uses emotional manipulation on her, relies on the fact that she owes him money, screams at her, throws things around to scare her, sabotages her chances at independence, takes advantage of her being injured to keep her with him, grabs her violently, goes through her phone, follows her, assaults her... He tries to apologize after bouts of aggression by offering money and extravagant affection... this is literally textbook domestic violence. Not to mention him threatening her sexually when she was a kid, after assaulting her father in front of her.

Seeing people zeroing on her cheating or even calling her selfish is heartbreaking and just tells me no one really understands domestic violence even when explicitly depicted in fiction... Besides the anger at a terrible ending what I felt the most was hurt and sad that she wants to be with the one she likes—the SML—and is stopped in her tracks every time. I was actually enjoying the show bc I thought it was a realistic depiction of domestic violence and what victims go through to escape it, how long and gruelling the process is physically and mentally... but the last episodes were terrible and ended up with this absurd forgiveness of the narrative towards the ML, with no criticism behind it as to why victims so often remain with their abusers. It's just presented as a happy forgiving ending, and the SML suddenly giving up on his love for the FL for no palpable reason.

I didn't find the FL annoying at all. She was poised while struggling with this man twice her age who keeps her trapped financially and physically/emotionally. It truly breaks my heart to see the takes some people have in the comments. I can only encourage people to read up on domestic violence and understand the forms it takes.

All in all, this is a very bad show, but not for the reasons you might expect. Tons of dramas depict abusive/toxic behaviors as cute or romantic, but this one is different, because the way that the script is written and acted is meant to show that this is wrong, that this is domestic violence. At least at first. The deviation from this and toward "we were both wrong, let's start over" (and meant to be seen as a happy ending, not as yet another technique of DV) in the last few eps is what is terrible about it.

Take that as you will... but as someone very well-read on domestic violence and with first hand experience of it, I think if you saw the FL as selfish or nothing more than a cheater, you need to think some more.
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