"Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we, too, can't die in a freak gasoline fight accident"
"Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator."
"here was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman". "
"I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. "
"Please! These are Collectors' Items! Well, some of them are replicas. But still, they're Limited Edition Replicas!"
"You know, you shouldn't jump around when this nice woman is holding a sharp pair of scissors. If you move she could slip and slice your jugular vein, on accident. There is no way to stitch the jugular. All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. I have seen this. I have done this. You don't want this"
